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#insp: jokes
imnotgoodatthis · 1 month
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Under cut because I drew a dick.
Dick Reiki is a joke with my coworkers. One of them specifically asked me to draw it.
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imogenkol · 2 months
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— WIP WEDNESDAY
tagged by lovelies @socially-awkward-skeleton @rhettsabbott @kyber-infinitygems and @a-treides thank you!!! 💕
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not technically a wip im currently working on but i did want to post one of the funniest things Nadya has said
"You know, working out can be considered a hobby. I get the impression you have a pretty intense routine," Nadya tried once they neared the end of the trail. Yet another chuckle came out of Jayde’s mouth at what Nadya thought was a simple remark. She began to think Jayde understood a joke that kept going over her head. "Do I keep saying something funny?"
Jayde’s gaze suddenly snapped in her direction, seemingly caught off guard by the fact that she noticed the recurring amusement. It could have been the cold, but Nadya noticed the bright flush on her cheeks. "Oh, um, no. Sorry, I didn't realize I was..."
"Then what is it?"
"You just surprise me is all," Jayde murmured. Her tone turned so soft that Nadya’s lingering unease completely vanished. "I don't really spend a lot of time with people like you."
Nadya narrowed her eyes and cocked her brow. "What, gay people?"
tag list (ask to be added or removed!):
@adelaidedrubman @florbelles @marivenah @simonxriley @voidika
@voidbuggg @inafieldofdaisies @aceghosts @carlosoliveiraa @risingsh0t
@unholymilf @thedeadthree @cassietrn @jackiesarch @shellibisshe
@loriane-elmuerto @katsigian @captastra @simplegenius042 @theelderhazelnut
@g0dspeeed @strangefable
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shinemyshoesbro · 11 months
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i've never played a resident evil game
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transskywardsword · 1 year
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is link a trans woman? a trans man? nonbinary? hm. yes <3
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manofbeskar · 1 year
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say yes to heaven, say yes to me
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dirtydoctorwho · 6 months
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not that im stalking ur blog or anything.... but crack ship River/Peggy? i am in morbid need of content
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Enemies to lovers 100k haha jk .... unless?
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stick-named-figure · 1 year
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[image ID (continued from alt text): First drawing is of the stick shooting a laser from their mouth. Second drawing is of them holding a cartoonishly large sword. Third drawing is of them hugging a large grey creature with sharp teeth. They're wearing a cape. Fourth drawing is of them shooting the ground with a pistol. Text above them reads "saw a bug on the floor." Fifth drawing is of them swinging a very large mallet. End ID].
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17gz · 11 months
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beck / used to be yav until i DIED
24 | he | tme | indian with a dot | intersex | nyc
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will80sbyers · 2 years
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one day everyone hates me because I talk about Mike's depression and the next people are thankful for a fluffy piece of fanfiction... it's like I have a toxic relationship alternating between highs and lows with the byler fandom 💔
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somuchfrstardust · 2 years
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kobra kid is literally the pickiest eater out of the killjoys and I will stand by this hc until the day I die
mans will throw up the moment he eats plain power pup. cannot stomach it at all, would literally rather starve himself. gotta get that mans some kinda veggie or something to mix in and overpower the flavor
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catboii · 8 months
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← Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 → Full Thread
[Day ####]
It’s been several days since there were any markable concerns. No breaches, no alerts, no deaths on the clock... Everything has been running smoothly. As it should. 
The Overseer of the current area leads their Agents through the corridors, writing up directives for the daily observations and handing them to the respective Agent.
The Anomalies here are usually very quiet, although sometimes, one of them will just sort of- change… Wake up… And then they completely flip. You can’t trust them. Sometimes Agents have underestimated what seemed like a normal inanimate object, like the hairbrush that hypnotises people, pulling them with psychic tendrils into its room, so that they'll brush their hair with it, then two weeks later they'll wake up from a coma; or a small animal, like the mouse that turned out to eat concrete and burrowed out by nibbling around the steel reinforcements before anyone noticed. There was so much paperwork...
Most of the chambers look the same, bland, metallic grey inside and out, the only difference being the cautionary and instructional stickers of varying sizes, shapes and colours, on the corridor-side of their doors. Some have more than others, and some seem to tell a story. 'No eye contact', 'No turning your back', 'No auditory interaction', 'Unconfirmed: Inanimate', etc; the list could be endless as more instructions are being discovered and printed every day, although it's not a fast process as the braille needs to be sized and punched correctly. Whenever something is Suspected, they use a medium sized Yellow sticker, with a dashed border for the colourblind. If something is confirmed, then it’s a larger sized Red sticker with a bold border. There are the occasional smaller, Green stickers, with a wavy line as a border; this makes them look more whimsical and friendly, although doesn’t mean that whatever is being contained is safe, just that the action is ‘safe’, such as 'Safe: Eye contact', 'Safe: Slow movement', 'Safe: Liquid exposure'. As it’s quite difficult to confirm that something truly is ‘safe’, there aren’t as many Green stickers as the others, and they’re easy to peel off, in case something turns out to not actually be safe... There are alot of Yellow stickers through the halls, as it’s all too easy to have an unconfirmed suspicion, rather than to prove that something is safe or not. 
After a few Agents are sent on their assignments, the Overseer leads the remaining toward another bland silver door, with the usual square viewing window and several Yellow stickers: the expected, and potentially obvious instructions when approaching any wild animal, ‘maybe don’t touch or feed this thing, it might bite, but we’re not sure’. There are also some White and, some rarer, Black stickers though. The White stickers are confirmed guidelines, Agents normally call the neat little sections of White stickers Biogs, as they’re a bit like summaries, and you need a better name than ‘what do their Whites say?’ when discussing cases with your peers. The Black stickers, however, are important notes to keep in mind if you have to go into the room. These are always very specific, but usually a little cryptic, as if their info is on a need to know basis. Which it sort of is, as they only get explained to you if you’re the one going in. 
Most Anomalies in this section have the White 'Does not eat' sticker, as they’re inanimate objects (less of an instruction, just an observation that it doesn’t need to be fed, although someone must have tried, to be able to confirm it, which summons amusing images of Agents trying to coax mysterious Diaries or amulets to nibble on some fruit or a raw steak), but this one also has this sticker, and it appears to be some kind of small animal. Trying to peer through the door window, Agent 23 thinks it looks like a crow sitting in the middle of the floor, although there are too many layers of thick, toughened glass to get a clear view from this distance. There also appears to be a large, Red, octagonal sticker ,right beside the White one that looks like the 'Do not approach' instruction, based on the size and shape, but it’s covered by a Black sticker frantically scribbled over with what looks like black sharpie? As if someone was trying to take it back, but didn’t have the right sticker to hand. The white text is still easily readable, and says 'Caution level C-3'. The Caution level 'C' stickers are reserved for the Anomalies that have shown cannibalistic traits, which is a rabbit hole of a definition when you consider that these Anomalies aren’t human, and eating other animals is a perfectly normal carnivore activity… for animals. 
But why would a creature that doesn’t eat, according to that White sticker, show interest in eating other creatures..? 
Moreover, the level is a scale, like 1:1 or 1:10 in scale models. 'C-1' is for creatures that will attack and/or eat other creatures the same size as them, 'C-0.5' would mean creatures half their size, etc. So 'C-3' means that it’s 'shown an interest' in attacking and eating something three times its own size. Which, based on how small it is, doesn’t sound too worrisome. And besides, this must have been observed before it was put into containment...
As the Overseer looks over the paperwork left hooked on the door, a couple of the Agents peer through to the chamber. There are three interlock doors, which seems excessive for such a small creature. Two is perfectly fine for most of the other, larger Anomalies. Besides, the extra door space takes away some of the chamber space, leaving it alot smaller, even if the creature inside isn’t very big itself. There aren’t any perches or furniture inside, nothing for enrichment. There are also two chairs outside the doors, one either side, when there are usually just two. Only one is the metal kind with the little document shelf under the seat though, the other doesn’t look like it belongs here, more like it’d been dragged from somewhere else, possibly a staff room on another floor, since the ones on this floor are cushioned. 
“Alright,” the Overseer starts confidently, “have any of you had any experience with this Anomaly?” Two of the six Agents raise their hands, one being Agent 23, a low level Agent who'd been working at the Facility for three years so far. “Perfect. Now please lower your hand if any of those experiences have been negative in any way, if you have verbally expressed any negative thoughts around this doorway, or if you may have been overheard disciplining another Anomaly or member of staff in this hallway, at all”, they slightly raise their voice at the end, as if to emphasise how important this was. Agent 23 keeps her hand raised, but she couldn’t see why any of the staff would do anything like that; however, the other Agent had already lowered his hand, but Agent 23 wasn’t sure at which point of the statement. The Overseer looks down at the clipboard, ‘uh-huh’s to themself a few times, then hangs it back on the designated hook. “Alright. You may lower your hand now. The rest of you, I trust you have jobs to do, you’re dismissed. Agent 23, I’ll instruct you on your tasks for the next…” they pause, as if thinking, “week. If all goes well”. 
The instructions sound like the usual, to observe the Anomaly through the cameras and the door windows, to record everything on the sheet every hour. Although there are also extra, lined sheets to fill in if the Anomaly tries to communicate. Any sign of intelligence should be recorded. It's been reported to react to the verbal greetings given by the Agents through the intercom, and if someone gets close to the glass, sometimes it seems to be looking toward the door. The Overseer has instructed 23 to actually try to get it to respond this time, however she can. If it looks like it’s reacting to the intercom, to continue talking, to see if it’s just the noise, or if it’s the actual speech it recognises. There are the odd notes in the ‘Guide’ that say that it has been observed to obey basic commands such as ‘step away from the door’, ‘stand still’ and such like. 
All of the initial pages in the observation log seem to have been crudely torn out, then the first intact pages have nothing written on them aside from the first boxes having mention of observations being difficult, due to the Anomaly being ‘outside’. 23 decides this must mean before it was put into containment, and was just being observed; because if it had breached containment, then there would be far more paperwork, and more Red stickers on the door. Breachers normally went to a far more secure floor several stories lower, and had their own guards stationed at every checkpoint. The pages documenting the last month or so are all basically uneventful, and nothing of note jumps out at her. 
As 23 turns on the intercom to read the obligatory greeting statement, there’s a slight electrical crackle-buzz as the speaker turns on, and a red LED indicator light at the bottom lights up. The small, crow-like creature turns its head toward the soft sound, its eyes dull and reflectionless, staring slightly off from the main door camera, as the intercom speaker is about a foot underneath. “Greetings. I’m Agent 23,” she begins, trying to sound casual, though professional, as if she doesn’t feel the least bit silly trying to talk to a bird, who probably doesn’t understand anything she’s saying, “I’ll be observing you today. I’ll be here for-” she briefly flicks her eyes down from the monitor to check her notes, quickly counting the start to finish times in her head, “Six hours. Please go about your business as normal.” She lets go of the intercom button, and it makes that same quiet crackle, then silence resumes. 
The creature keeps staring toward the speaker for a moment, then, as 23 observes as instructed, she thinks it glances up to the main camera, but it keeps turning, openly facing one of the side cameras, just staring toward it for what feels like the longest moment. 23 starts to wonder if it can somehow see her, and that its watching her, so she makes a little waving motion with her hand at the monitor to see if it'll react… But then it turns to face the back wall, away from the three cameras pointing toward it, and stays facing that direction.
The rest of the day is relatively uneventful, another Agent nearby makes a breakthrough when they say they got a recording of an inanimate object moving, and they furiously scribble in their observational notes. 23’s ward just sits there, once or twice taking a few slow steps toward one side of the room, a few hours later going to the other side. 
Once it’s time to finish up, she stands, stretching her arms above her head, making a little squeak noise through her nose as her spine pops, and when she turns toward the intercom, she notices the creature on the camera monitor, looking toward the door. Perhaps it could see her shadow move? She pauses briefly before pressing the intercom, there’s no movement at the buzz this time, not even a twitch. “This is Agent 23. I have concluded today’s observations. I will be returning tomorrow. Thankyou for your cooperation.”
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loriane-elmuerto · 2 years
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CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE II + OCs (template)
Drew, Jacqueline, Holly, and Alessandro belong to @chuckhansen
Marnie, Esteban, Helen, and Talia belong to @queennymeria
Ivanka belongs to a friend.
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seaofserene · 9 months
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" Dear Diary,
My teen angst bullshit has a body count. "
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toruandmidori · 1 year
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Serve sass this summer with our range of cute, funny, reworked vintage and retro t-shirts!
Featuring updated artwork from retro greeting cards and modern, sassy and snarky slogans.
Your new favourite party shirt is here! Buy online now, links: 
BITCH, LET’S PARTY
I HATE YOU
BUCKLE UP F*CKAROO!
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suncakeartcive · 1 year
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-crawls on my hands and knees- hey I need motivation to art, if people wanna do art trades or something I’d be open for them
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corruptimles · 2 years
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...wait, so O'Malley DOESN'T have a cat ear headband? I thought you got inspired to make him from O'Malley the Alley Cat from The Aristocats...
Funny enough, O'Malley is not based on The Aristocats. I don't know if I watched that as a kid and forgot, or just really wanted to watch it, but I only learned the cat was named O'Malley a minute ago
No, the thing was just drawing cat ears on his helmet so often when it's actually just something he does once a week. It's not his actual uniform, he just hasn't been stopped
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