#inspired by: tvd 5x16 delena

[my-yesterdays87]

Your fate rests with me

You can't undo a fall like this 'cause love don't know what distance is I don't want "good" and I don't want "good enough" I want "can't sleep, can't breathe without your love"

Alec has to spend a few days in Alicante in order to attend Imogen’s memorial service and witness Jace's trial. He ponders about past decisions, but makes once again clear that he may remain head of the NY institute, yet is not inclined to take a position, that would force him to move to Idris for the rest of his mortal life. He is aware, that this was supposed to be his fate and his reason, if it weren't for Magnus Bane.

"Magnus. Hi. It's me. Alec.", the shadowhunter says nervously, squinching his eyes shut, when he realizes that his boyfriend probably saw who was calling when he picked up the phone.

"Hello stranger.", Magnus answers in a sweet voice. And Alec can literally see him, walking around in his loft, playing his fingertips along random surfaces like the sideboard or the rim of a glass. A longing fills his chest, much the same as homesickness.

"I've missed you.", Alec blurts out before he can help himself. The pressure of a long day vanished with only the sound of Magnus’ voice in his ear.

"How are you holding up?", he asks, before Magnus has the chance to respond. Letting the thoughts and worries resurface, he had suppressed all day long.

"I am fine. Catarina came by and asked if we could watch Madzie over the weekend." Magnus chuckles. "She even showed me some basic mundane cooking skills. We'll may be able to stop living on takeout." Magnus smiles, at the same time as Alec smiles, both unable to see each other’s expression.

"I miss you, too.", Magnus adds tenderly, causing Alec to blush furiously.

"That’s very kind of her.", Alec says in a low voice, conveying to Magnus how deeply he still blames himself for having to make this trip in such a crucial phase of Magnus' new life.

"I told her we would love to watch Sweet Pea.", Magnus answers. "It will be good for all of us."

Alec nods. "Yeah."

A silence follows, that speaks louder than words and would have been filled with a hug or a kiss, if they had been in the same room together.

"How is Jace?", Magnus asks eventualy, trying to be there for Alec as much as he can. He knows that his boyfriend's main concern is the loss of his (Magnus) magic, but his (Alec) parabatei is in more sinister trouble for the time beeing.

"He'll be put under arrest with the silent brothers again, in order to clarify his soul. Apparently, your magic destroyed Lilith's hold on him, but did not vanguish the taint on his soul.", Alec explains, rubbing his forehead while pacing to and fro. "They aren't going to execute him for his posessed actions, like killing Imogen. But I will have to be here, when they escort him to the City of Bones tomorrow morning."

“This means, I won’t be home for another day.“, Alec clarifies, when silence follows, unable to keep the regret from his voice.

“I won’t be going anywhere.“, Magnus promises him once again and Alec suddenly feels so very lonely. These rooms are cold without the warlock’s presence. Every room is, even his old chamber in the institute is distant and cold. Only Magnus’ loft feels like home anymore, because in these rooms and in these walls is the essence of the man he had so instantly fallen in love with.

"I would never have thought, that the Council is as advanced, as not letting someone atton for a demons sins.", Magnus can't stop himself to state, interrupting Alec’s thoughts.

Instead of an answer, however, he earnes a heartfelt laughter from the man he loves. Magnus is taken by suprise and can’t help but smile to himself.

“You wouldn’t think that a shadowhunter trial could be this civil.“, Alec retorts, changing his phone to the other ear.

“Still...“, Alec continues, stopping his pacing to sit on the edge of the bed. “He blames himself and I am afraid there is nothing left for him worth fighting for, if we can’t find Clary.“

Magnus sighs. Alec would always be like this. Never believing that anyone could attach importance to someone like him. The man who had stood in front of him, with a dire expression, telling him, that without Jace he was nothing, believed that Jace would not be willing to go on living because of him.

“We’ll find her.“, Magnus says instead. “I might not have my magic, but Catarina and Dorothea are keeping an eye out for us.“

“Izzy, Luke and Simon are on it as well.“, Alec says, a tiredness in his voice, Magnus longs to chase aways with just one touch of his hand or lips.

“We’ll find her.“, Magnus repeats, filling his voice with the soothing tone of his touch.

Alec is silent on the other end for a long time and Magnus is already trying to come up with something to cheer his boyfriend up, when he hears a sigh and instead waits for Alec to speak what is on his mind.

“Can you do something for me?“, Alec asks eventually, a shyness in his voice, that makes Magnus’ stomach flutter.

“Whatever you want, Alexander. It’s done.“, Magnus promises, without a second thought and Alec inhales deeply.

“Stay with me.”, he finally says out loud. Repeating those exact words back to Magnus leaves a sting in his chest, but there is no better way to put his feelings.

“I can't sleep, can't breathe, can’t think clearly...“, his voice gets fainter with every confession. “I need you with me.“ Alec clears his throat, while Magnus closes his eyes, lost for words. “Look... I don’t care if you are mortal or immortal. All I care about is you.“

Magnus opens his mouth, but only a faint whisper of “Alexander“ reaches Alec’s ear.

Alec closes his eyes, picturing their last fight about this issue. And a lumb formes in his chest. Back then, he couldn’t stomach the idea to grow old while Magnus would remain young. And now, there was nothing more painful a thought as the possibility to watch Magnus age and die. Alec felt impotent rage, knowing that someone would take Magnus’ immortality on a whim.

“We’ll get your magic back.“, he promises him once more, squinching his eyes close to focus on Magnus breathing on the other end of the phone. “If I have to go to Edom myself. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.“

The words sound hollow in the empty room.

“It's going to be alright, Alexander.“, Magnus assures him. “I was terrified at first and not used to a life without my magic. But look, I have the chance to grow old with the one I love. A possibility I never fathomed to have.“

“I know...“, Alec whispers into the phone, his eyes remaining closed.

“You have given up so much, just for... this.“ Alec’s voice breaks before he can finish the sentence.

“Alexander...“ Magnus’ voice is even and sure. “I told you I would do it time and time again, if it means that you are safe.“

“I can't sleep, either, when you are not around.”, he confesses, a smile on his lips, his eyes half closed. He takes the picture frame from the nightstand, looking tenderly into image!Alec’s eyes.

“I haven’t had a good nights sleep, since you are gone and I wouldn’t want this for all eternity.“, Magnus mused, his thumb tracing the outline of image!Alec’s face.

“Well then, maybe... We could talk until we both fall asleep.“, Alec mutters, pressing the phone to his ear.

The phone line stays silent for a heartbeat,

“I’d love that, Alexander.“, Magnus answers contentedly.

“Did you know, that people eat pineapple on their pizza?“, he asks, amusement lacing his voice.

Alec laughes at that, which makes Magnus’ heart skip a beat.

“I didn’t.“, he admits with a lightness in his tone, that makes Magnus sure of one thing: He would stay up with him all night, if that meant making sure that Alec wouldn’t have another bad night.

“Thank you.“, Alec says into his thoughts and Magnus is startlet for a moment.

“You are welcome, Alexander.“, Magnus answers him, yearning more than ever to have him right here in his arms. His eyes focus on their bed, unaware that he had made his way into the bedroom while talking. He puts the picture frame back on the nightstand and retreats from the room, closing the door behind him and making his way to the couch. He’d rather toss and turn all night there than find no sleep in an empty bed.

They talk for a while longer, until their voices grow weary and Magus feels his eyes close with the promise of sleep.

“Hurry back, shadowhunter.“, he whispers to his lover, before the phone slides onto the pillow next to his head. Knowing that Alec is already half asleep as well.