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restapesta · 3 years

Text

Fucking Milkovich

words: 5.5k

Five times Ian pulled Mickey away from starting a fight and the one time the roles were reversed.

1. THE STORE

The old lady had been side-eyeing them since they accidentally bumped into her at the wine aisle, Mickey backing into her as he and Ian led a loud, heated discussion about whether or not the Rose that was in Ian's hand was the same one from the gay party they had attended a couple of days before.

Ian was dead set on saying that it was the same bottle of pink wine and that even if it wasn't, it probably tasted the same, all the while Mickey was dead set on proving to Ian that the bottle was most certainly not the same one and that they should crack it open and try it even if they were still in the middle of the supermarket. They were bickering back and forth, not paying much attention to their surroundings, and Mick had backed away from the rack of wines, unceremoniously colliding with the gray-haired lady who was pushing a cart filled to the brim with groceries. It was a miracle the items hadn't toppled out, considering there was a mountain of them. Ian wondered how steadily the lady must've been pushing the cart, and how close his husband had come from knocking it all down.

Mickey had muttered a quick sorry and Ian had shot the lady an apologetic look when she just stared at Mickey and the tattoos that covered his hands and arm, blatantly revealed by his short-sleeved t-shirt. Ian had told him he looked hot in it that morning, so Mickey had kept the jacket off, appeasing his husband's gaze. He felt a bit cold but Ian's eyes following unapologetically as his arms flexed made it all worth it.

Ian gestured for Mickey to leave the aisle with his eyes, accompanied by a sharp tilt of his head -- and they continued their way to the other racks of food and drinks, Ian placing the bottle of wine in their own basket. They weren't there for a full-on grocery run. They were in Costco purely because their snacks and beer needed stocking up, and they needed some shit for the mac-and-cheese Mickey had been craving. Ian had lost a bet while they were at work today so he promised to make him some -- a deed Mickey was quite happy about.

They bumped into the lady once more at the cash register. There were some people six feet in front of them (considering they kept their distance), unloading their stuff, and the woman was mere inches behind them, as if she was waiting in line with the couple, not behind them, pressed close. Mickey shot her a glance and when he noticed her scowl, he gave her a slight smile that Ian knew was obviously not a smile, but rather a 'hello lady I crashed into, why are you standing so close, back away from me and my tall ginger before I tell you to back the fuck away' threat. He had a feeling the lady caught on to what Ian did, but chose not to comply, considering how her scowl deepened and how she seemed to press impossibly closer.

Mickey and Ian shared a look but kept their mouths shut, preparing to unload their shit onto the moving thingy -- but then the old bat spoke.

"Least you could do is let me cut the line." She was looking straight at Mickey, and to Ian, judging by the look on his husband's face, it seemed as if he was considering it. But when his gaze swept over the pile in her cart -- the one almost spilling over -- he simply shrugged, "No. I couldn't."

Mickey kept unloading the few items they did have, and Ian followed his lead, but the lady was persistent. "You are very unkind."

Mickey simply muttered an 'uh-uh' as he grabbed the money out of his jacket.

"You should be ashamed."

Mickey rubbed his eyebrow with his thumb and Ian knew that signaled danger, so he pushed him lightly with his shoulder, gesturing for him to pay. Mickey obliged begrudgingly, choosing to ignore the bitch. The cashier was just finishing placing their shit into the plastic bag, handing it to Ian, also handing Mickey back the change. They were going to leave the place unscathed.

Too bad the bitch couldn't keep her mouth shut.

"You should put a leash on him."

Before Mickey had a chance to jump her and gauge her eyes out, Ian wrapped his hands around his torso and pushed him towards the door of the store, whispering 'calm the fuck down' to him curtly, the grocery bag in his hand making it harder to sustain his husband. It wasn't the first time he had done this, and he doubted it would be the last. It was somewhat of a struggle but Ian managed. He also tried to ignore the look of pure horror on the grandma's face.

When he was finally able to get Mickey through the door -- while the guy spewed graphic insults at the hag -- he let go, making sure to keep him a safe distance away from the store.

"What the fuck is it with old bitches being so fucking rude?" Mickey muttered loudly, grabbing the bag out of Ian's hand and pulling out the Rose. He opened the bottle easily and took a long gulp, emptying a third of the bottle with it. His face scrunched up immediately. "I fucking told you it wasn't the same one!"

Ian just shook his head.

Fucking Milkovich.

2. THE JOB

The day had been pretty slow. They had their regular cash pick-ups and deliveries, and they had finished most of them, considering how the day was nearing its end. Both Ian and Mickey were ready to get back home and crash on the couch, maybe down a beer or two, and especially take off the uniforms that had truly made them sweat today. Spring was coming, and fuck if Ian wasn't ready for the onslaught of discomfort the camo brought on with it. Mickey didn't look like he minded it much, but Mickey was Mickey, so it wasn't a surprise. Ian, on the other hand, was already considering alternatives.

They were delivering their last bags of weed, taking a long ass drive to fucking HerbalCare, knowing it would take them a while to get back home too -- but the Northsiders that owned the place were kind of their regulars, so they were used to it.

Both Ian and Mickey expected the usual chick to show up and pick up the marijuana when they eventually got to the place -- the one with the curly red hair and a sassy attitude -- but instead, an unknown guy did with a large-ass man following shortly behind.

The first guy looked like any other -- casual clothing, friendly face, easy demeanor -- unlike -- what Ian supposed was -- his bodyguard. He looked like a capo with his broad shoulders, tight black shirt, tattoos littering his body, head cleanly shaved. Ian glanced reluctantly at his own thug, mentally praying Mickey had a bullet that could take down the motherfuckers in front of them if necessary.

"Can I help you, gentlemen?" The normal-looking one spoke.

Mickey nodded, also slightly taken aback, but not letting it show. "We have a delivery for HerbalCare." He glanced at Ian. "For Dina? Wasn't it?"

Ian nodded slowly, assessing the situation.

"I'll take it from here." The guy responded, eyeing Mickey up and down. "Dina is currently busy at the moment." Mickey didn't seem too happy with the asshat's statement. Ian wasn't either, naturally. The man had an odd vibe to him -- he seemed on edge despite his cool facade, and Ian saw straight through it. He glanced at Mickey who seemed to have been noticing the same thing. They were not handing shit over to these assholes. There's a certain trust you had to earn before claiming a couple of thousand dollars worth of weed from Gallavich Security.

"How 'bout I just speak to Dina, yeah?" Mickey's voice was calm and eery -- he was in boss mode. The mode that even scared Ian, sometimes. It was dangerous territory these guys were treading on if Mickey had resorted to going into the mode only slightly less scary than Milkovich thug mode.

The dude, still nameless, smiled without humor. "Why don't you just give me the weed, huh?"

Mickey pulled out his gun swiftly, pointing it straight at the guy's head. The shock on his face only lasted for a moment before it turned into a smirk. The capo next to him pulled out his own, only slightly smaller than Mickey's, pointing it at Mickey's head.

Well, shit.

Ian pulled out the gun from his waistband, feeling slightly worried for his and his husband's safety, pointing it at the tall-ass man. It was like a scene from a movie. A poor, shitty-quality one.

"How about we all just put down our guns and we'll come back when Dina gets here?" Ian's voice was smooth and the silence hung lowly over them for a couple of moments. Ian was never a gun sort of guy, but rather a talk-it-out one.

They eventually all put down their guns, albeit reluctantly.

"Okay, then. Guess we'll be seeing you." The guy muttered as he turned his back to Ian and Mickey, capo following behind, shooting them a glare. Their movements were slow and deliberate, but eventually, when they were a safe distance away, the capo turned around and shot them the middle finger.

Ian was just barely in time to stop Mickey before he leaped out to kill the motherfucker.

He wrapped his arms around him like a boa constrictor, attempting to stop him from committing homicide. As always, it took a while.

Mickey growled after a minute or two, finally calming down, glaring at the spot the asshole thieves were a few moments before. "Oh, you fucking will be seeing me. You'll be seeing me in your nightmares, you motherfuckers."

Ian barely contained himself from rolling his eyes.

Fucking Milkovich.

3. THE ALIBI

Ian had been nursing a beer for the past hour while his worse half had already downed three. Mickey was on his fourth glass of Budweiser, slightly tipsy, but not quite drunk just yet as he and Ian enjoyed their night out, something one might even call a date (correction: something only Ian would call a date).

They had gone out for chicken wings, played some pool after dinner -- even took a fucking stroll out -- and now, they were chilling at the Alibi Room, enjoying each other's companies, talking about anything and everything, laughing at Kevin's jokes and making fun of Kermit and Tommy, the regular drunks of the Southside.

It was a slow day today, their job weighing a little extra heavy on their shoulders, but the night was swift, in contrast. In fact, they were having a really good time, letting go of all of the fucked-up things happening in their lives right now, the burden coming off of their shoulders, even for a little while. And Ian was especially looking forward to the sex that was bound to follow when they got back home. Hell, if Mickey continues drinking the beers at this pace, maybe even in the bathroom -- it truly only depended on the level of horniness the drunken state would illicit.

They were still enjoying their alcohol and horniness when Kermit had decided to remind everyone of a comment. Ian guessed it wasn't supposed to be that big of a deal. Both Ian and Mickey had dealt with far worse from people far shittier than Tommy and Kermit. But the comment -- the one about how Tommy was against their wedding, saying it was a man-woman thing -- didn't really sit well with either of them. Ian had no idea how the topic even came up, and the whole 'kind of drunk and talk-y' Mickey wasn't helping the case, but the words most certainly had an undesired effect on the couple.

Mickey had stilled immediately.

It wasn't that big of a deal. Homophobes were all around them, and they knew that Tommy was as gay and as homophobic as any of them, and Mickey would probably ignore the comment had he not been this content with the night he was having.

Here he was with Ian, having a great time, enjoying his life, his marriage, and over-all his husband, and this asshole was going to ruin it with this comment. This stupid, meaningless comment.

Neither Ian nor Mickey lived in a fantasy -- the one where everyone was supportive of the gays and where love was simply love, no matter if it was between a male and a female, or a male and a male -- but sometimes, they forgot what world they actually lived in and in those moments they were at their most vulnerable to these sort of remarks. They cut them deep, Mickey especially.

He was so happy with Ian, so happy with his marriage, the life they shared, that the outside world rarely even mattered. But when he heard someone saying how they shouldn't have gotten married -- shouldn't have been enjoying their love and relationship, shouldn't be where they are now -- Mickey got pissed.

"Oh yeah, Tommy? Man-woman thing?" Mickey's voice was unnervingly steady.

Kevin eyed Kermit, silently conveying the question, "why the fuck would you say that". Kermit shrugged but Mickey only had eyes for dear old Tom. He was watching him like prey.

Tommy gulped, not as afraid of Mickey as he used to be, but definitely not one-hundred percent safe around him either. Everybody knew Mickey protected himself and his family -- Ian and the Gallaghers -- only. Everyone else could just go fuck themselves. Tommy fell into the latter group.

"That's just the way I've been taught. Y'all are good, enjoy your marriage." He attempted to climb out of the hole he had dug for himself but it wasn't really working. The asshole had made it too deep and had fallen into it headfirst.

"Oh, I'm so fucking happy I have your approval." Mickey bit back.

"Oh, no," Ian muttered lowly. "Mick."

"You should be happy I don't have a gun on me now. Now, while I'm on a date with my husband." He annunciated the words slowly, making sure Tommy understood and heard them very well and remembered them for good. Ian's heart fluttered at the mention of the word date, but he reeled it back in for now. He could enjoy it later when Mickey wasn't on the verge of murdering someone.

"Hey man, how 'bout you just calm down?"

Tommy really wanted to die today.

Ian was pushing Mickey out of the bar before he strangled the man with his bare hands. Mickey cursed as they were leaving, resisting his husband as he attempted to drag him out. Ian barely got them through the door, and when he did, Mickey tried hard to go back in.

Ian hissed at him to stop. Eventually, Mickey did.

"I see him one more time, I'm killing him, understood?" Mickey was baring his teeth at the bar as if Tommy could see him. "Him and his counterpart."

Ian closed his eyes briefly.

Fucking Milkovich.

4. THE BLEACHERS

It had always been their spot. From the beginning, it was a place for Ian and Mickey to run away to, not just to hook up, but to escape their lives and the turmoils of their families, each fucked up in its own fucked up way. It was easy for them to just disappear for a while, fucking against the fence, shot-gunning beer with no one to reprimand them for when they left the cans on the stadium, the world completely oblivious that it was the odd duo. Not just Mickey Milkovich, the infamous Southside thug, and not just Ian Gallagher, the skinny army ginger -- but both Ian and Mickey, a pairing no one saw coming, not from a million light-years away.

It was easier back then, sure, but now, it was better. They used to just fuck underneath the bleachers, making it nothing more than a hook-up spot, barely touching after sex, drinking beer like just a couple of friends, not like they were in between rounds, Ian aching for more, Mickey denying him access to it. Ian knew Mickey wouldn't even admit they were friends back then.

But then again, it was different then than it was now.

Now the bleachers were their spot. Not just a fuck spot like it used to be. No -- it was a hangout spot. They didn't have their own place yet -- that was still a work in progress -- and when the Gallagher house became too loud and too messy for them to just enjoy their night, outside of the confines of their room, they went to the bleachers.

It wasn't a regular occurrence, more like a once-a-month sort of thing, but it still felt great and rejuvenating -- it felt like them. A space in the dark where they could just talk and drink and mess around and make out in, unapologetically relieved of the burden on their shoulders, whatever it may be.

Tonight was a night like that, a night where all they wanted and needed to do was escape -- Terry's death was still weighing heavy on Mickey's soul, for reasons Mickey and Ian both had yet to uncover, and the house was brimming with too many Gallaghers with too many opinions and observations. They needed a break.

The spot under the bleachers was supposed to be reserved for them as always, and they had brought along a six-pack of beer as well, deciding to just get drunk, even if they still had to get to work the next morning. It would be a good ending to a shitty week.

But the asshole kids sitting at their spot weren't gonna let that play out.

Ian and Mickey were aware that they were grown-ass men, but it was ten pm and these children had no right to even be near the bleachers let alone smoking and drinking underneath them. They were far from teens and they reminded Ian of himself and Lip when they were mere eleven-year-olds trying to figure the messed-up world out.

Mickey didn't really see it that way. He was clearly just annoyed.

"Beat it." He said in a curt voice, flicking his wrist to point to the imaginary exit. Ian followed suit reluctantly, only after trying to convince Mickey to just let them have at it and go to the dugouts instead.

"No Ian, we came here because this is our spot and these little fuckers need to go." Mickey had responded.

Ian was aware his husband had issues.

He was used to it.

The kids laughed, the three voices laughing merging, sounding more like a pack of hyenas. "Watcha' gonna do about it, grandpa?"

Mickey had a very shitty couple of days.

Mickey was not a well-tempered person.

Mickey was on the verge of killing something.

These kids were the catalyst.

When Mickey took a swift step towards them, Ian was once again -- how many times was it, now? -- holding him back. The kids scattered around, scared shitless of the thug. They were gone in the blink of an eye.

Ian felt sorry for them, but he was happy that, at least, Mickey didn't dump their tiny bodies in the river. Not that Mickey would've actually done that.

Ian hoped.

"I was one second from threatening to eat them for lunch," Mickey grumbled. He then pointed at the free spot. "At least they're gone. Gimme that beer, I wanna have some good drunk sex."

He made a gesture with his fingers and smiled as if nothing had happened. Wasn't Ian supposed to be the crazy one?

Fucking Milkovich.

5. THE GALLAGHER HOUSE

Debbie Gallagher was extremely annoying nine times out of ten. Ian Gallagher knew it. Mickey Milkovich knew. The entire Gallagher clan knew it. But today, she seemed especially bitchy.

It was a Friday night -- usually reserved for a good home-cooked meal, chilling on the couch, watching TV, and just having a family night altogether. Even Lip and Tami were in the house on Fridays, bringing Fred along to play with Franny and Liam (who would more-so look after them than play with them).

That's how the nights usually went.

But tonight, Debbie the Brat had every intention of fucking it up.

She sauntered into the house, bitchiness oozing from her pores, head held high even though it should have been bowed down in shame. She was drunk off her rocks, and she was dragging Franny along with her.

"Hi, assholes." She greeted the family in the kitchen, letting go of Franny's hand, pulling her sunglasses off to reveal blood-shot eyes. God knows where the hell she had been today. All Ian knew was that she left the house sober with Franny and was now completely drunk, if not high, the little girl still trailing behind.

"Wash your hands, Fran," Liam instructed, eyeing Debbie up and down. She seemed even more fucked up than usual in his eyes.

She plopped herself down on the closest free chair which happened to be across Mickey. It was quiet for a few moments, everyone waiting for something to happen. Debbie was an unpredictable drunk, something they were only lately discovering.

It seemed like Debbie had woken up today and chosen violence.

She looked straight into Mickey's eyes. "Your cousin is a cunt."

Mickey raised an eyebrow while the other Gallaghers observing the exchange. Ian was sat next to him. He put his utensils down, not sure how this exchange was going to unravel, also pulling Mickey's knife out of reach, in a way he hoped was inconspicuous.

Just in case.

"She is a self-absorbed cunt who has no business in this house anymore." Deborah continued as if someone gave a shit. Mickey especially.

He shrugged. "Last I'd seen her was the morning after you guys broke up. I couldn't give less of a shit about whether or not she's with you or not with you. For fuck's sake, the break-up happened a long-ass time ago, get over it." Mickey looked down at his plate, continuing to eat his dinner, clearly signifying the conversation was over. He glanced at Ian when he couldn't find his knife.

Instead of moving on, Debbie grabbed a loaf of bread and threw it at him.

Mickey stilled.

Carl elbowed her hard but she paid no attention to the warning. She was having a staring contest with Mickey Milkovich. One she would eventually lose.

"Back the fuck off, Debbie," Ian warned himself.

She switched her gaze from Mickey to Ian. Her gaze was murderous. "Or what, Ian? You'll try and kill me with a bat?"

Collective silence fell over the table. Noone seemed to be breathing. All eyes switched to Ian, gauging his reaction, not believing the words that had left Debbie's mouth, but even warier of the ones that were bound to leave Ian's.

Ian had other things occupying his mind, though, and one of those things was his husband who was probably a second away from killing his sister-in-law.

"You bitch." Ian held Mickey down by his shoulders as he attempted to climb over the table and tackle her to the floor. "You and your condescending cunt can fuck off."

"Mickey. Come on." Ian pushed him out of the chair and shoved him lightly, indicating for him to go upstairs.

"No, Ian. She needs to be set fucking straight, or else you'll have a new Frank on your hands. This bitch." He fought against him as Debbie just sat still.

"Mickey." Ian shoved him towards the stairs, afraid he would have to explain to the cops how his husband murdered his sister if Mickey didn't leave the room, immediately. Mickey noticed Ian's serious expression, and slowly climbed up, all the while muttering to Debbie to go fuck herself.

Ian glanced at Debbie from where he stood.

"What?" She asked, innocently.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

Debbie snorted. "Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Not like it wasn't true."

"I couldn't give less of a shit whether or not you think I'm crazy. You come in here and talk to Mickey like that again, I will be using a bat. Only then you'll see how crazy I can get." Ian was dead serious.

It was the first time since she came in that her eyes truly widened in fear.

He backed away upstairs slowly.

The rest of the Gallaghers were silent for a moment before they all collectively shot Debbie a dirty look, soon erupting in chatter, as if nothing had happened.

It had been merely a few seconds before Ian had entered their room, when Mickey finally started his rant, talking shit about Debbie, defending Ian being at the core of it all.

He had a lot to say, and Ian was going to listen to it all, like the supportive husband he was, always taking Mick's side.

As he listened to Mickey rant about Debbie, he thought about what he had said to her. It was true -- every single word that had left his mouth. He hoped she and the rest of them -- no matter who it was -- understood.

Mickey was more important to him than anyone else in this world, even his sister. He was Ian's family, his next of kin, the one Ian trusted and loved the most. When push comes to shove, he will chose him, no matter what. He will always choose his husband, the love of his life, his worse half.

God, he was soft.

Fucking Milkovich.

+1 THE STORE, THE JOB, THE ALIBI, THE BLEACHERS, THE GALLAGHERS

"You really keep me from killing people, man. Feel like I should thank you."

Mickey had muttered that lowly in the dark, his head resting on Ian's chest, both of them naked, enjoying their post-sex bliss. It was then when they were at their most open, letting out emotions and feelings that usually didn't seep into the mundane day.

Ian ran his fingers along Mickey's bare back, enjoying how Mickey shivered against them. "You do the same thing." He answered simply.

Mickey raised his head slightly to look at his husband. "No, I don't. I've never had to physically pull you away from stabbing or strangling someone."

"You do realize I usually get as pissed off as you do at these things."

"These things?"

Ian rolled his eyes in the dark. "C'mon Mick. You really think I'm okay with an old lady calling you rude and ignorant and judging you like you're nothing but a street rat. Or some assholes flipping us off after trying to steal our weed?" He adjusted his arm so it rested over Mickey's shoulder, Mickey's cheek pressed into his peck. "You think I don't get mad when Tommy talks about how we shouldn't have gotten married because we're men? Or how Debbie had the audacity to talk to you like that, in front of me."

"You never react to it, though. That's why I don't pull you away from starting shit. You kind of just stay calm." Mickey responded to Ian's short monologue.

Ian chuckled. "Mick. If I wasn't so busy pulling you away, I'd probably be the one murdering them all."

This time Mickey raised his head to fully look at Ian. They adjusted their positions so it was easier to keep each other's gaze.

"I'm serious," Ian responded to Mickey's expression of disbelief.

Ian was completely and utterly serious. That shit happened a lot.

In fact, had Ian not been so busy pushing Mickey out of the store, the plastic bag filled with shit they needed for dinner and the expensive -- but probably not correct -- Rosè in one of his hands, making sure his husband didn't go to prison for stabbing the geriatric bitch, he would have gotten really fucking pissed and probably have gone off at the grandma himself.

If Mickey didn't attempt to go after the fucking thieves, like the sociopath he was, Ian would've probably pulled out his gun and pointed it at the men's fucking back. Maybe he would've even tried emptying the clip.

Mickey trying to strangle Tommy was good enough of a distraction for Ian not to beat the asshole up himself. How fucking dare he talk about marriage like that, the drunk bitch. Ian would've been a second away from hurling himself at Tommy and beating the shit out of him -- but fuck it if Ian was gonna let Mickey get arrested for aggravated assault and risk his parole.

The kids at the bleachers didn't bother him. He knew Mickey had a soft spot for kids himself, so it was more of a hissy fit than a homicidal fit.

Debbie was the one that truly made his blood boil.

"You know," Ian began. "I would've probably signed a death warrant on Debbie and mine's relationship that night if you weren't there."

"How so?" Mickey was caressing Ian's cheek with his thumb, giving him the biggest case of heart-eyes. Ian didn't doubt that was how he was looking at Mickey himself.

"When she was saying that shit, all I could think of was making sure you didn't kill her. I barely registered what the fuck she was saying. I was trying to keep you from flipping the table and making Franny an orphan." Mickey rolled his eyes but kept silent. He knew there was truth in Ian's words. "But, if you weren't there. If Debbie had just started talking about me and the whole bipolar thing and I didn't have you to keep me from actually letting the words sink in..." He drifted off, not knowing how he would've reacted. The words would have probably cut him deep.

Shifting closer, Mickey pressed his palm against Ian's cheek. "Do we need to talk about how you should under no circumstance listen to your bitch of a sister? What happened all those years ago happened while you were manic and off your meds. Her using that as a comeback in an argument is low and a fucking betrayal. Right now, you are the healthiest you've been since your diagnosis and you shouldn't let her get in your head. Hell, if I have to, I'll fucking try and murder anyone to stop the words from -- what did you say -- sinking in?" Ian laughed wetly, feeling himself get emotional over Mickey's little speech.

"You're amazing, Ian." He finished. "I'm proud of you."

Ian pulled Mickey's body close, making their naked bodies press flush against each other. Their noses touched as Ian took a moment to appreciate what the universe had given him. The soft lines of Mickey's face, the blemishes, and the tiny scars -- the eyebrows Ian had joked were iconic to him -- everything that made Mickey Milkovich his Mickey.

A kid forged in hate and homophobia, morphed by the Southside into a short-tempered thug, capable of murder in the blink of an eye if you so much as looked at him wrong. A Milkovich taught to care for nobody but family, to stay loyal to them and never snitch, but also taught to put a bullet in their fucking heads if betrayed. A hard-ass and a thief, ready to shamelessly steal from any store of his choosing, barely giving a shit whether it lands him in juvie or not.

A man capable of so much love. A man who took care of Ian when he was at his worst, made sure to keep him safe and protected. The man who came out for him in front of his worst nightmare, all so he could keep Ian, even if he was nothing but a mess kept together by unawareness. A man capable of murder for Ian. A man capable of running away with Ian. A man capable of going back to prison for Ian. A man who loved Ian, and would always try to keep him safe.

"You done staring?" Mickey smirked at him.

Ian smiled, shaking his head slightly. "I don't think I'll ever be." He then added, quietly, "I'm so lucky."

Mickey nodded, his lips mere inches away from Ian's. "I am too."

Soft lips moved against each other slowly, creating a rhythm Ian never wanted to lose.

He knew he never would.

His life, even after all the worst possible shit a person could imagine, was pretty fucking great. All thanks to Mickey.

His husband.

His partner.

His soulmate.

His worse half.

His Milkovich.

THE END

#gallavich #shameless #shameless us #shameless final season #fanfic #Ian Gallagher #ian and mickey #ian x mickey #ianxmickey #mickey milkovich #gallaghers #5+1 fic #5+1 things #canon compliant

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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 years

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#9yrsago Pratchett's I Shall Wear Midnight, sentimental and fun book about a witch among enemies

Terry Pratchett's newly released I Shall Wear Midnight is the fourth volume in the Tiffany Aching books, about a young girl born to be the witch of a chalky, sheep-farming area called, simply, The Chalk (the other three volumes being Wee Free Men, Hatful of Sky and Wintersmith). Tiffany's old gran was the "Wise Woman" of the hills, and her gifts came down to Tiffany, who, at the age of 7 or 8, began to need them -- first to rescue the Baron's son when he was kidnapped by the Queen of Faerie (Tiffany hit her with an iron frying pan) and then to learn proper magic while apprenticed to a real witch, and finally to kiss the Wintersmith during a morris dance, and then have to set the seasons to right.

In Midnight, Tiffany returns. Now she's 16, and she has assumed all the burdens of being The Chalk's witch -- and they are burdensome -- delivering the babies, salving the wounds, clipping the neglected old ladies' toenails, changing the bandages, and using magic to take away the pain of the Baron, who is dying.

As if being thrust into an early maturity wasn't enough, witchery has fallen into disrepute on The Chalk -- and seemingly everywhere. There are old ladies being crushed and drowned by mobs, there are the whispers and the forked fingers to fight the evil eye when Tiffany passes, and then, when the Baron dies while Tiffany eases him into the next world, there is the wildfire rumor that Tiffany killed him.

What Tiffany learns is that a shade of an old witchburner, called the Cunning Man, has been summoned to the world. Where the Cunning Man walks, poison follows -- poison against witches, against the odd, against foreigners, against the out-of-place. The Cunning Man is shambling evil, a corruption that goes into all the places that welcome poison, all the dark and ugly corners of our minds.

Luckily, Tiffany has help -- her guardians and charges, the Nac Mac Feegle or Wee Free Men, a race of tiny blue faerie folk (technically, they are Pictsies) that wear kilts, carry claymores, live under the chalk, and fight and steal and steal and fight as though there was nothing better in the world. They are fast as lightning, nigh indestructible, silly as a bag of jello, good-hearted, and very difficult to be with. Some allies!

Midnight is certainly the darkest of the Tiffany Aching books, which, though touched with Pratchett's gift for sweet and even sentimental characterization and madcap plotting, have been somewhat sleight. These are young adult books and they are uplifting in their way, and lots of fun, but until now, without the barbs that lurk under Pratchett's humor and light treatment, making him such a beloved writer.

But Midnight is dark. As the Chalk's witch, Tiffany is called upon to tend to the horrors that everyone else would turn a blind eye to, including a man who beat his pregnant, 13 year old daughter so fiercely that she lost the baby. And the Cunning Man is a scary haint, described with merciless horror by Pratchett, who can do terrifying so well because you hardly expect it. Give this book to 15 or 16 year old who started reading about Tiffany when they were 8 or 9, and I think you'll hit them right where they live. What adolescent doesn't struggle with the bad things that everyone says they're too young to experience, but are there nevertheless? And what teenager doesn't know about the infectious hatred that sweeps through a mob when there is someone different and vulnerable, when one wicked or insecure person throws the first insult or whispers the first innuendo?

Of course, there's lots here for adult Pratchett fans to love -- Tiffany's travails take her to Ankh-Morpork, where she meets the Watch and has adventures on Tenth Egg Street (lately famed in Making Money and the other Moist von Lipwigg novels), and runs into one of the earliest and most delightful of Pratchett's heroines; she seeks counsel from the Lancre witches (and even Magrat comes along), and so on. This book really feels like a tying together of many loose ends in the Discworld, and I'll happily admit that it had me sniffling back tears in the last chapter. It's a Pratchett novel -- there's really not much else to say.

I Shall Wear Midnight

https://boingboing.net/2010/10/12/pratchetts-i-shall-w.html

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knightsims · 7 years

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Week 20 of Crystal Valley BACC is finally over, so here’s a summary of everything that happened (warning: it’s really freaking long).

Somerset:

Leliana gave birth to their fourth child, Cassandra, who turned into a toddler later in the week.

Malavai moved to Eris University.

Josephine turned into a teenager and entered a relationship with Austin Jones.

Thane turned into a child.

Charleston:

Michael finally died after a couple of days of defying Grimmy.

John almost froze to death by sleeping on a bench in the snow.

Piper met and befriended a vampire, and was turned into one herself.

They adopted a kitten called Ally, who then turned into a full-grown cat.

Devlin turned into a child.

Hall II:

Elena gave birth to their first child, Sinead, who turned into a toddler later in the week.

Connor went on an outing with some friends, where he saw his sort-of cousin, Orion Hansen.

Danny, the Halls’ dog, died.

Elena became pregnant for a second time.

Elena got into a fight with a townie.

Grimmy and the Hula Zombies came for Donovan.

Elena gave birth to their second daughter, Natalya.

Somerset II:

Aurora had twins, Brienne and Carlisle, who turned into toddlers later in the week.

Bean, the cat, got into a fight with a stray.

They adopted a second cat, Alice.

They purchased the services of a maid.

Aurora became pregnant again.

James went into aspiration failure due to changing diapers.

Leonard:

They moved into a new home due to the old one being buggy.

Taliesin turned into a toddler and then a child.

ACR struck again, leaving Patricia with her third unplanned pregnancy, to which she eventually gave birth to Thomas.

Cressida became friends with Abigail Jasper.

The twins turned into teenagers, with Cressida becoming a Family/Fortune sim and Raphael becoming a Knowledge/Pleasure.

Asher turned into an elder.

The children got into private school.

Thomas turned into a toddler.

Hall III:

Heaven Sellwood, a close friend of Gwendolyn’s, moved in due to the ROS roll requiring a new roommate.

ACR struck, resulting in Gwendolyn falling pregnant with triplets, Athena, Persephone and Ares.

The triplets turned into toddlers.

Peterson:

Due to his abduction the week before, Christian gave birth to alien-baby Lyra, who turned into a toddler later in the week.

Emilia, also pregnant at the same time, gave birth to baby Kaleb, who also turned into a toddler later in the week.

Alecto and Blaine, the twins, turned into toddlers and then children later in the week.

Mills:

Elizabeth used the genie lamp and wished for money, and then promptly used it as she set half the kitchen on fire and had to replace some things.

Elizabeth gave birth to Aidan.

They adopted a puppy called Lemon.

Hansen:

Orion and Kea moved back to Crystal Valley from Eris University.

Kea befriended an alpha wolf and was bitten, turning her into a werewolf.

Grimmy and the Hula Zombies came for Charlie.

Leigh:

The ROS roll stated that Pepper Leigh and Malcolm Fraser would be getting a roommate or two, so both Adrian Campbell and Verity Amundson, Pepper and Malcolm’s respective partners, moved in.

They adopted a male cat, Sweets, in hopes that he and Biddy would have kittens.

Malcolm and Verity moved out at the end of the week.

Chin:

The ROS roll meant that they lost over 70% of their money.

Caitlin Terry stole the newspaper.

They adopted an adult cat, Heidi.

William died while painting outside (I think it was due to catching a cold and not resting), but Gretchen beat Grimmy and brought him back to life.

Baxter:

They went on a family outing to the new park in front of their house.

Austin Jones, Brandi Reeve, and Yusef Xander came over for a sleepover.

The quadruplets moved to Eris University, leaving Emily and Morgan alone at home.

Morgan was abducted by aliens, but as he’s an elder, he didn’t come back with a ‘gift’.

Black:

Logan turned into an elder.

Ava and Anthony got into private school.

Ariel gave birth to a single puppy, Dana.

Logan got abducted by aliens, with Marissa watching without care.

Anthony turned into a teenager and became a Knowledge/Fortune sim.

The family received a genie lamp.

Ava moved to Eris University.

Jones:

Olivia set the study on fire by attempting to repair the broken computer.

The repoman came and stole some cookbooks from the kitchen.

Megan moved to Eris University, with Austin moving too at the end of the week.

Warren turned into a teenager and became a Family/Pleasure sim.

Austin asked Josephine Somerset to be his girlfriend.

Ezra turned into a child.

The boys had a ‘sleepover’ and slept on mattresses in the lounge.

They adopted a small dog named Dakota, who immediately became Warren’s best friend.

Terry:

Emmy continued to sell cars to townies at her car lot.

Lightning set the telescope on fire.

Emmy and Jacob turned into elders.

Emmy became an evil witch, and summoned a familiar called Midnight.

Caitlin set the kitchen on fire.

Caitlin moved to Eris University.

Jacob summoned the genie and wished for Peace of Mind.

Leonard II:

They moved to a new house because the previous one wasn’t big enough.

Emmaline restored a car.

The headmaster was impressed and all the children got into private school.

Darian and Joanna turned into children.

They received a genie lamp from the matchmaker.

Reuben was electrocuted while trying to fix the tv.

Kea Hansen turned Katherine into a werewolf.

Springsteen:

Travis turned into a teenager and became a Pleasure/Family sim.

Honour’s brother, Hunter Mills, was given Leo, while Aaron Somerset was given Mac, leaving the family with three dogs instead of the original five.

Honour summoned the genie and wished for money.

Honour went on an outing with some townie friends.

Max and Honour got engaged.

Max went on a midnight hike and was chased home by bees.

Both Honour and Max turned into elders.

Travis moved to Eris University.

Kane:

Tara summoned a familiar named Umbra.

They adopted a proper cat named Goddess to fulfill the ROS event of a large pet adoption.

Jamison turned into a toddler and then a child later in the week.

Hayden befriended Blaine Alistair.

Hayden turned into a teenager and became a Popularity/Romance sim.

Tara went on an outing with some of her townie friends.

Flynn and Tara got married.

Hayden started a ‘relationship’ with a townie named Rose.

Torres:

Eva (and Isobel) entered a polyamorous relationship with Erin, a previous townie, as the ROS roll required a pregnancy.

Erin befriended a stray dog.

Jasper:

Due to the ROS roll, both Aveline and Mathias lost their jobs and became bankrupt, meaning the family had to move into a tiny apartment building and start over.

Mathias found a new job as the postman, like his father before him.

Abigail befriended Jamison Kane.

Aveline gave birth to baby Margot, who turned into a toddler later in the week.

Abigail turned into a teenager and became a Romance/Knowledge sim.

Wheeler:

Henry and Rebekah turned into toddlers.

Kal, Ryan’s alien son, turned into a teenager and became a Fortune/Romance sim.

Sasha and Sammy tried for puppies, which resulted in Xena, Andy and Muppet.

Ryan and Adelaide got engaged and then threw a wedding party.

Isobel Peterson, Adelaide’s sister, was sprayed by a skunk at the wedding.

Adelaide had another fight with her townie enemy.

Dean:

After throwing Reagan Mills out after she cheated on him, Anton stayed in their old home.

Reagan came over at least three times a day to kick over the trash can.

Anton befriended Piper Charleston, who turned him into a vampire.

Having moved on from Reagan, Anton started a relationship with townie Ivy Scott.

Mills II:

Reagan moved into her own place after being caught cheating by her ex-boyfriend, Anton Dean, and thrown out.

She was abducted by aliens as per the ROS roll, and came back with a little ‘gift’.

Reagan, the Romance sim that she is, started sleeping with townies all over the place.

She had a small party and invited over her two siblings, Honour and Hunter Mills.

She gave birth to alien-baby Altair.

Graham:

Marina bought Demi’s, the restaurant once owned (and named after) the late Demi Hall.

Joseph went into aspiration failure.

Marina became pregnant and gave birth to baby Seth.

Lilly turned into a teenager and became a Fortune/Popularity sim.

Matthew turned into a child.

Joseph turned into an elder.

Hughes:

Lisette, already pregnant from the week before, gave birth to twins, Griffin and Keiran, who then turned into toddlers later in the week.

Lisette continued to run her bakery.

Uni II:

Claire and Harrison entered a relationship, while Carmen entered a relationship with a dormie named Zaltrarrio Jeffries.

Everyone graduated with honours and returned to Crystal Valley.

Uni III:

The Baxter quadruplets, along with their respective significant others, moved into a dorm in Eris University.

The llama and cow mascots got into constant fights in the dorm, much to the horror of Skye.

Skye turned out to be much better at the ElectroDance Sphere than any of her brothers.

Alton finds a girlfriend in dormie Regina Greaves.

Each quadruplet then moved into separate student housing with their respective partners.

Uni IV:

Malavai Somerset moved to Eris University and into his own private student house.

He found a girlfriend in Heidi Ebadi, who then moved in.

He had a fight with the cow mascot after he insulted Heidi and made her cry.

Lightning set the garden on fire.

Uni V:

Travis Springsteen and Caitlin Terry moved into a dorm together.

Caitlin was constantly rejected by pretty dormies, while Travis impressed, and consequently woohooed with, every single one.

Travis made an enemy in one of the other dormies who was also vying for the attention of the ladies.

Travis had a number of aspiration failures.

Travis (and a number of the dormies) kept passing out in the sun.

Caitlin befriended a professor over constant mutual drinking at the bar.

Uni VI:

Megan Jones and Ava Black moved into a private student house together, as they were quite good friends as teenagers.

Megan became an evil witch.

The ROS roll determined that they were to have another roommate so Stacy Andersen moved in.

Ava started flirting with a professor, who Stacy then had a fight with.

Many things happened over the course of Week 20 and I applaud you for a) reading this far down and b) sticking with me as I posted the hundreds of screenshots. Thanks for reading, and be prepared for Week 21 because some shit goes down that even I wasn’t anticipating <3

#sims 2 #ts2 #crystal valley bacc #maxis match #week 20 summery

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junker-town · 7 years

Text

I tried to eat every hot dog at the NBA All-Star Game and lived to tell the tale

Why would you eat all the hot dogs at Staples Center? ...Why not?

Attending the NBA All-Star Game for the first time, I thought to myself: “Is there anything at the actual event that I can be the All-Star of?” Being a bigger dude, the easy answer was eating a bunch of foods at sporting events. Specifically, hot dogs.

Luckily for me, Staples Center offers a variety of dogs. Some are simple — just a plain ol’ dog with relish and mustard — and others are the equivalent of a small Thanksgiving dinner packed into a bun. So I decided to eat them. All of them.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1. Duck and Bacon Jalapeńo Sausage — Wurstküche

Sweet peppers, grilled onions, and whole grain mustard

Any hip 20-something Angeleno has taken a trip to Wurstküche. It’s a restaurant located downtown and it has a great selection of beers and exotic sausages. You can order a rattlesnake, rabbit, and jalapeńo hot dog to go along with your pint of Schneider Edel Weisse.

This pop-up located in Staples Center didn’t have the range of exotic sausages. In fact, their entire food menu is two hot dogs. One of which is the duck, bacon, and jalapeńo.

This looks fake healthy. I can do this, though there is a lot of bread which I fear is what will eventually do me in during this marathon. The peppers and onions look delicious, but the sausage itself looks gray, like it’s telling me not to eat it. But I’m not a sucker.

I liked the peppers more than the sausage, to be honest. Like, I could eat a hot dog of just those peppers. (Are spicy peppers inside a bun technically a hot dog? You know what, never mind). This also might be because at the end of the hot dog, I was left with just bun and peppers.

2. Mac N’Cheese Dog — Dave’s Doghouse

Three cheese mac, bacon bits, old fashioned yellow mustard

This hot dog is way smaller than the first, but I’m already hesitant to take a first bite. Mac and cheese is heavy as a side dish. Bacon is also heavy as hell. Combining all of them into one dog is just a testament to mankind’s desire to test the limits of how sluggish someone can feel after a meal.

There’s a dense amount of mac and cheese on the hot dog itself, so much that I could barely see the actual dog. From an aerial view it’s just bacon chunks and mac and cheese. I’m not complaining though.

One bite in and I can already envision a lot of heavy breathing. I feel like i just ate a really hearty dinner. The sausage itself is more traditional than duck and bacon, which I appreciate. Everything else is doing the heavy lifting. And I am just heavy at this point.

3. California Dog — Dave’s Doghouse

Josiah’s signature all beef chili, onions, old fashioned yellow mustard

hahahaha I thought the mac and cheese hot dog was going to be the challenge. This hot dog is straight up insulting me now. I can see why they call it a California Dog. The smell of it reminds me of a Original Tommy’s chili cheeseburger which doesn’t get any more Californian unless you’re hanging out in traffic on a freeway near a beach.

I’ve been staring at this hot dog for way too long and haven’t taken a bit out of it.

The chili in this is really good and the onions don’t overshadow anything. After I finished it, I felt both proud and ashamed of myself. This must be what it feels like to be the world’s most crafty thief.

Intermission: Churros

I took a break from devouring another hot dog to eat two churros. I was expecting a lot of crunch but this wonderful desert just dissolved in my mouth like a cloud. It’s the lightest thing i’ve eaten (not sure if that’s a good thing or not), and it’s a well-needed break.

The second churro tasted as though someone removed my taste buds, placed them inside a transparent box, and then proceeded fill the box with a ton of glitter for an Instagram boomerang. It was a lot of sugar. Time to keep eating hot dogs.

4. Dave’s Dog — Dave’s Doghouse

Sweet relish, onions, old fashioned yellow mustard

Just when I thought I hit a wall, this hot dog enters my life. As opposed to the other ridiculously gluttonous Dave’s doghouse items, this one seems like just any ol’ hot dog, which I appreciate. I actually took the time to enjoy this one. This was a lot like the regular hot dogs that the Staples Center concessions offer, just smaller.

5. Poblano Chorizo Mac & Cheese Dog — Dave’s Doghouse

I had to take a few trips to order all these hot dogs, and for some reason I didn’t see this particular hot dog until the penultimate trip. I had already eaten one hot dog with mac and cheese and now I have to eat another? And this dog is chorizo?!

Thankfully, this one was actually really good. So good, that I didn’t care about anything other than the contrast of creaminess from the mac and spice from the chorizo.

6. Classic Dog — Dave’s Doghouse

Onion, sauerkraut, old fashioned yellow mustard

This one was fine.

7. Skyscraper Dog — EATS

Yellow mustard, relish, onions

For what it’s worth, EATS offers two hot dogs. One is a called a downtown dog. It’s a plain hot dog. The skyscraper dog, the one I bought, is also a plain hot dog, just in a bigger size. I was looking forward to this hot dog from the very beginning because it’s a quintessential sporting event meal. It doesn't look as appetizing as all the others but it’s the most recognizable — in looks and in taste — of the bunch.

I enjoyed it, thought not as much as I had hoped since I was full at this point in the evening.

8. Artisan Bratwurst — Wurstküche

Bratwurst: fine cuts of pork, coriander & nutmeg. Topped off with sweet peppers, grilled onions, and whole grain mustard

It’s the fourth quarter and I can’t feel my face.

The employees of Dave’s Doghouse wear shirts with an anthropomorphic hot dog named The Dogfather. I think The Dogfather put a hit out on me.

I stared at this hot dog for a good portion of the fourth quarter. There’s a lot of flavor in this brat and the combination of the sausage, peppers, onions, and all that bread made it really difficult to eat. But just when Team LeBron and Team Stephen got serious late in the game, so did I. I was going to eat this hot dog and walk out of Staples Center a concessions champion.

I finished it! And the ending to the All-Star Game got me so pumped that I could barely remember that I had just eaten eight hot dogs. Or maybe it was the fact that I had just devoured eight dogs that made me forgetful. Regardless, I still had one final mission: to go outside and find a hot dog vendor right outside Staples Center.

I didn’t expect it, but there was one problem as I stepped out: it was raining.

It wasn’t raining hard, but the slight drizzle made it hard to find anyone outside, and this was just after the game had ended. Everyone already found their cars and were headed home. I walked a few blocks and found nothing.

But just as I was about to give up, I found one stand preparing to close up shop.

9. Hot dog — parking lot across the street from Staples Center

Bacon-wrapped hot dog, mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup, pico del gallo, guacamole, sliced pickled jalapeños, and a roasted whole jalapeño on the side

Even before I ate the eight other hot dogs, I knew this one would be crowned the best. There’s no better hot dog in Los Angeles than one sold in a cart outside your favorite arena or club. If you’ve had a few drinks earlier in the evening, this dog will be your saving grace.

It’s the perfect mess of a meal.

Also, the person who made the hot dog was so nice, he saw how happy I was eating the hot dog by his cart that he took a photo of me and then showed it to me on his phone. I’d like to think he knew that I was on the tail end of an excruciatingly delicious trek. The hot dog gods brought him along to say, “good job, Hector, and good night.”

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