#is the ocs insert fanfic i have had with my friends since like 2015

[zoebelladona]

4 and 12 for the hbo spn ✨✨✨

okay so full disclosure: i haven't cared about spn in like four years or so. and i wasn't gonna answer any of these prompts because i am not attached to any of the characters other than sam. but fuck it mara i love you too much to leave you hanging and these prompts actually slap, they speak to my gritty grunge religious aesthetic.

4. lucifer whispers to sam in the early hours of the morning long after cas took hell from him. what is he saying from the other side of the bed?

it’s not really about what he’s saying (and mostly i don’t remember spn!lucifer that well) but that no matter how many our father’s, hail mary’s and glory be’s sam prays to get him to stop… all sam manages is to cut his own tongue on the words and stain his shirt and pillow in blood. one time it almost choked him, lucifer didn’t shut up.

12. when sam is eleven he recoils from the holy water at pastor jim’s. what else makes him unholy? what else can’t he touch?

making the sign of the cross gives him a headache right behind his eyes. he wears a cross-and-chain but has to keep it over his shirt so it doesn’t burn against his skin. he still tried to drink the holy water in an act of desperation to wash his insides, down to the marrow of his bones, and it made him sick and he threw up bile and blood. it doesn’t hurt to pray silently, it hurts to pray out loud, but he keeps counting the rosary. he didn’t use to understand why the salted popcorn burned the corners of his mouth.