#it doesnt even look good. allergic to corners

[fiendy]

why is the internet lately so averse to squares

[ganondoodle]

i might have already talked about this but i honestly cant remember if i did or if its one of my totk thoughts that keep haunting me in my head (and god knows how id find it on tumblr)

.. did they ever say how long link was gone for? like at the start? bc to me it feels like it must have been months or something given how some things are .. although others are the opposite

like the spypost alone is so weird to me, its a goddamn stupid place to put it, a SPYpost should either be concealed or in a hard to reach place with good look of the environment around it- which it doesnt have at all (despite higher up hills being right around the corner ...), who would put a spy post directly on flat ground at the castle doors?? (AND in a place where i think would have been the ONLY good place to put nothing there/dont change it- or have it bee a secret entrance into the castle you can find on your own .. if the castle was actually like a dungeon and inaccessible for the most time ...) makes even less sense if it was built before link disappeared bc wh- .. whats its purpose anyway? the calamity is gone and instead of rebuilding castle town or soemthing nearby you put the words least sensical spypost right at the front of the castle thats a dead dirty lump of rock (yes i know zelda mentions soemthing of the miasma being active or whatever but that changes nothing abotu how little sense thing darn thing makes to me .. ) (i will stand by my idea of rebuilding the ranch ruins into a little hub and tavern instead, a spypost can be a smaller thing higher up but that as a little new town and maybe with my personal little wish of having all your horses run around a ranch, of course its got little defense, this is a ranch and the calamity was gone and its not that close to the castle, its also rather in the middle of the map and a bigger wider area would be hard to miss, plus its using an old neat reference and making something meaningful out of it, soemthing this game is allergic to im- *breathes in* fine.)

death mountain, i assumed at least, cooled down with the cataclysm (.. way too serious sounding for .. largely just some pebbles falling from the sky) and it seems like theres alot of stuff built on there and even grass growing and everything, like its been that way for a long time, yunobo being dumbified by brainwash mask and the things he does also dont feel like they happen in a day or two

the other regions on the other hand ... ignoring how mcuh of a non issue the rito problem is (the oooooh blizzard doesnt even stop them from flying ..... its not freezing them either bc none of them wear any more clothes and just do business as usual .. but then food is supposed to be a problem? .... you .. you can fly ..... ... why wasnt the boss then a monster that eats everything of the region or soemthing ... a big ol worm razing entire forest, or .. you know, make the blizzard an actual problem, winds so strong you cant fly, temperature so low you freeze immediately without special armor), are just .. dealing with it themselves? and dont seem to even seek out the help of anyone else? like it literally just happend?

but then theres entire sonau research teams and people studying it but .. all the shit started to appear with the cataclysm ... so???? though zelda at the start talks about it like its been a well known every day life fact that the acnient stupid furry first king of gods holy lands was called rauru and he was a sonau (WHICH NO ONE KNEW ANYTHIGN ABOUT THE LITERAL ONYL THING KNOWN WAS THE ARMOR SET IN BOTW THAT ALSO DOESNT MATCH ANYTHING AT ALL TOTK SONAU) and his fridge wife was sonia like its just written in every history book and still somehow accurate (might i remind you its been MORE than TEN THOUSAND YEARS sicne then and nothign was known of them in botw) while no one remembers link from a 100 years ago, nor from 6 years ago, but then remembered the champions for the 100 year botw gap and then promptly forgot about them in totk (it really feels like that) BUT THEN you got kids in school that dont fking believe the calamity happend (which was defeated just like 6 years before that)

then again .... theres not a single soul on the sky islands, despite there, NOW more than ever, multiple ways to get up there, are you telling me everyones obsessed with the stupid sonau shit and then no one even tries to go up there??? arguing that it wasnt accessible until noodle zelda broke through the clouds at the end of the tutorial doesnt work bc those ruins already fell down, people must have known and no one even tried?? also they can go up there after it go opened up?? plus clearly the ruins were able to fall through also ... what even determines whether an island falls down or not? why do some fall when tHe dEmON kInG wakes up? you see it with those green sonau magic stuff but like .... who ... did that, both rauru and mineru were dead when zelda noodlefied herself and there everything was STILL on the ground? the only magical thing the constructs do is use fuse sometimes i dont think they can lift up all that shit .. clearly is wasnt rauru either bc he acts surprised about it being up here, but why does it falter when big il ganon man wakes up? mineru after the weird static non battle with ganondorf wasnt doing so hot and we have no idea how much time passed between that and the moment she goes into the purah pad (i could be annoying about that as well) either

in taburasa (tarrey town) they do all that shit with the sonau stuff, implying theres enough time that passed to make people tinker with it too so ?(though i still hate that bc its so .. shouldnt you of all people be scared of more techy bs materializing when the whole calamity is like back almost exactly like it was before? not even suspicious? no? you dont even know how it works yet everyone trying to work with it like there isnt anythign better to do??)

like with everything in this game it keeps contradicting itself, the inconsistency makes me want to rip my hair out anytime i try to make sense of it

[guzmawife]

🍓: he had no job when i met him but now he works at a high school as an errand boy / security (his children attend said school). hes the guy they call in when a real teacher needs to use the bathroom so he can watch the class. or to retrieve some papers from the printer. go get me that thing boy.

🍒: probably just chilling at home with snacks and movies and fast food. or chillen at the beach. 🏝️

🍎: tapu cocoa.. we all know dis.. hot sweet drinks…

🍉: hes not religious other than believing that a higher power exists. hi arceus..

🍑: totally more comfortable giving gifts. hes used to taking care of others so it’s pretty natural for him to be giving. he has no issue receiving but its not rlly a priority since he didnt come from much so hes used to not rlly asking for much.

🍊: i make him peel it. he knows my paws and claws have to stay clean… he’s comfortable with getting dirty and i am not!

🥭: no i domt think so. his dad was a prick and said shit like. Youre not a woman so you dont need those. fuckkkk that guy.

🍍: probably him being mentally manipulated and abused! 😿 killing all the people that taught him he wasn’t anything and made him feel like he had to act out in order to prove himself to others. hhhggffg. he deserves to be loved.

🍌: he likes to be in the dark. das it. no specific reason why.

🍋: he would probably change his hothead nature bc he doesn’t like how quickly he gets upset and makes bad decisions. and his hairline.

🍋‍🟩: he tells people if you squish bugs more will keep showing up. as a joke. heehe. sorry im gonna squish them still im a pussy.. thats probably why they keep showing up though. i have an actual curse. maybe he’s right man…

🍈: he thinks fate is bogus and if you want something to happen you have to make it happen.

🍏: hes bisexual and questioning demisexuality, he learned of his bisexuality through being in denial of liking the same sex and being like. This is ruining my tough guy personality. This can’t be. but then it kept happening and he was like man fuck this whatever. what the hell sure. he became normal. he’s still figuring out the demisexuality, to put it simply he just doesnt want to engage in sexual acts with anyone unless he has a genuine connection to them. it also just feels better for him. sorry for airing out your business Anywayyyyyy. Anyway.

🍐: he’s a nail biter its kinda gross sorry man. his nails are short always so i make him do short nail tasks since my nails are usually pretty long. i think he bounces his legs sometimes too. he knows i hate that shit thou so he tries not to. usually i just leave so he can shake all he wants. then hes like what wait no….

🥝: he would totally let me do his makeup. we’re both pretty lazy when it comes to makeup so we don’t so anything complex. i just do mascara and corner highlights and SOMETIMES lipstick and that’s it. #autistic i cant stand having too much shit ok my face. this isn’t even about me brah. he does simple makeup too since he’s just not super experienced. he just tries things sometimes but he’s not a professional. he just wants to look cool.

🫒: he’s a big hugger he squeezes too tight but it feels good though…. (´ ω `♡) he likes to be hugged too! yey!

🫐: definitely more of an artist he actually keeps a sketchbook. right brained yeah.

🍇: if we never met i think he might still be getting himself into some trouble tbh. he’s pretty stubborn.

🥥: he draws he plays games. he works out. he cooks. i think he would want to get into gardening but his location doesn’t allow for it since it’s always fucking raining.

🍅: i think he would get me testosterone or something that i can’t possibly get safely right now. or like. my own living space. or some rare pokemon card / plush that costs more than an organ online. sigh. or probably 1 billion dollars. muhehw.

🌶️: he drinks ginger ale. ginger ale the ultra cure.

🫚: hes not picky. he cant eat beans bc hes allergic to them. but i dont think hes picky since he has to make sure his kids eat first. so he eats whatevers left from them. leftover amalgamation.

🥕: he didnt like them but he ate them anyway bc his parents were mean :(

🧅: he cries when hes angry like super fuming. and when hes thinking about his past. hes just mad at himself for what happened and how he handled things. Basically. getting manipulated and taken advantage of makes him upset and he cries. he doesnt cry at movies unless he relates to them.

🌽: does bugs counts as animal. He likes dogs. and isopods. and other sea creatures.

🥦: pet peeves are getting called ‘boy’ or ‘kid’. i used to call him boy all the time just by habit and he would Not like that. “I’m not a boy. I’m a man. stop callin me dat…” okaaayyy whatevar. he doesnt have an issue with me calling him dude tho. despite being his lover. which is a little funny. um what else. people not knocking before entering. leaving empty cartons and stuff in the fridge or cabinet. ppl telling him he looks tired. or people calling him old. not that he has an issue with old people (😽) but its like. How did you even reach that conclusion.

🥒: hes afraid of ultra beasts a little.. specifically uh whats its name. nihilego. that bird that i hate. middle finger emoji. hes like. a little more hesitant with UBs than regular mons. he’s also got a fear of getting lost.

🥬: beige flags auumm i hate his ugly fucking sunglasses. and when he says. ya boy (pinches the space between my brows). peeing with the door open. he does that thing where u can feel him looking at you waiting to turn around during the movie so he can kiss you. theres probably more. im very good at complaining.

🫛: he loves to think of new pet names for me to see how i will react. he’d be like. “goodnight honeypie” and id be like “oh…. yeah… 😽” he also likes them too but most of the time i just call him musham or guzma bc i like saying his name. then he’s like. Why dont you call me anything else…. (sad puppy eyes). he likes when i call him mumu or honey. i calll him princess sometimes but its rare. princess is like his top pet name for me. meeooww. sometimes i call him Boss. thats For when. Im teasing Him. That one Makes his Ears turn Red. For special Occasions. meow.

🫑: he’s had a number of near death experiences so he’s pretty afraid of death. he has no lofty life goals. he just wants his family safe. wants to travel too and have good genuine relationships.

🥑: not super niche but cosmetics and nail art. he also likes cooking and insects and drawing. just things he grew to like from being around his family. or trying to distract himself from his own issues.

🍠: he likes to go to the beach and sit listening to the waves (same). he also likes to paint his or others nails when he’s bored. “gimme yer hands i wanna try sumn”. yknow.

🍆: favorite scent is meeeeeee… i kid i kid. probably like. Ugh. baked goods. Sugar smell. Rain smell 👎🏾 i hate rain smell but he likes it. i don’t think he has any specific least favorite smells other than the usual like peepee and caca yknow.

🧄: allergic to beans

🥔: he makes japanese curry a lot. easy to make in large portions for his 75million children. i like rice so he usually makes rice dishes for me. i don’t cook very often but when i do its cultural foods since he doesn’t know those recipes. he likes those. yom. he wants to learn baking but just hasn’t had the chance or motivation.

🍄‍🟫: i think he would wanna be a mewtwo or something. super strong and cool nonchalant. if we’re talking irl mytho creatures, cerberus. that guy cool as shit. #swagger.

this took me three whole days to answer. enjoyable experience rlly made me think. sorry for any typos i used swipe typing for parts of this 😿.

@sylvie-wants-your-dogs hi : )

the ULTIMATE f/o infodumping ask game!

(this is gonna be a long one...)

🍓 - disregarding the career your f/o currently has, what other career would they consider going into, if given the chance?

🍒 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

🍉 - is your f/o religious? what's their opinion on religion or spirituality?

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

🍊 - if you asked your f/o to peel an orange for you, what would they do?

🥭 - did your f/o have stuffed animals growing up? do they still have stuffed animals? do they have a favorite?

🍍 - if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why?

🍌 - does your f/o have a vendetta against The Big Light™? what kind of lighting do they prefer?

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

🍋‍🟩 - is your f/o superstitious? is there any habits they follow or quirks they have to follow said superstitions? like not opening umbrellas indoors to avoid back luck?

🍈 - does your f/o believe in fate? do they thing everything is preplanned out by the universe or a higher power, or do they think that the idea of fate is bogus? why?

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

🍐 - does your f/o have any nervous ticks or idle quirks they do? like mindlessly tapping on a desk or fiddling with their hair when they're stressed?

🥝 - would your f/o ever let you do their make-up? what does their make-up process look like? is it simple? complex?

🫒 - what kind of hugger is your f/o? do they give good hugs? do they like hugs? do they like receiving hugs?

🫐 - is your f/o more of a writer or an artist? would you say your f/o is more left or right brained?

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

🥥 - what hobbies does your f/o have? is there any hobby they would like to get into that they haven't tried out yet? what is it?

🍅 - if your f/o could buy you any gift in the world, whether it exists or not, what would they buy you? or, if they could make you something, what would it be?

🌶️ - does your f/o have any remedies they follow when they get sick? like taking a shot of whiskey to get rid of a fever?

🫚 - is your f/o a picky eater? is there any foods they will not under any circumstances, gun to their head, eat?

🥕 - when your f/o was little, did they dislike vegetables? do they still dislike them?

🧅 - what makes your f/o cry? do they get emotional at sad movies or books? do they only get emotional under very rare circumstances?

🌽 - does your f/o have a favorite animal? what is it? are they scared of any animals?

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

🥒 - what's your f/o afraid of? do they have any phobias? anything minor they're scared of?

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

🫛 - how does your f/o feel about pet names or nicknames? do they like them? hate them? what are their favorites and least favorites to be called and to use?

🫑 - how does your f/o feel about death? are they afraid of it? is there anything specific they'd like to do before they die?

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

🍠 - what are a few of your f/os favorite pastimes or things that they do when they're bored?

🍆 - does your f/o have a favorite scent? why is it their favorite? do they have a least favorite scent?

🧄 - does your f/o have any allergies? food or otherwise?

🥔 - does your f/o have any food dishes they make often? is there any foods you make for your f/o that they enjoy?

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

I recommend practicing reblog karma ! people love infodumping about their f/os :) I also recommend sending more than one emoji at a time,,, there are Many here...!!!

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

some thoughts on what living with bakugou would be like:

-he’s weirdly organized. like he remembers where he put everything every time so if ur ever looking for something, most times he’ll just find it for u and it takes like .2 seconds

-will cook meals a large majority of the time, but if u bake sweets he’s an absolue sucker for them.

-if you’re like reALLY allergic to a certain type of bug or plant,, man’s got his eyes pEELED whenever y’all go somewhere together. like lets say, for example, ur allergic to bees. bakugou is blowing bees up left and right and u look at him and ur “no!! stop!!! bees are endangered!!” ,, he looks u dead in the face, like ur stupid or something and says “yeah. because of me. i’m gonna kill all of them.”

- if u have to get in an argument with somebody over the phone, he wants to hear it. like he’ll ask u to put the phone on speaker and he’ll just make mocking, bitchy faces while the other person is speaking. like,, he lets u fight ur own battles, but he wants to be there bullying the other person mercilessly in the background.

-if he doesnt like a song ur playing, he’ll just skip it. won’t ask, wont look at u, he’ll just skip it. borderline dick move tbh

-gets grumpy if u don’t follow his nightly routine on time, but also wont go to sleep without u. like he’ll just stay up and crab at u until u go to bed with him

-likes when u brush his hair for him. like u’ll be brushing yours, totally by urself fine, and he’ll just look at u and clear his throat until u roll ur eyes and beckon him over

-if u get like a bag of junk food or something,, do nOt leave that shit out, bakugou will finish it 10/10 times. he’ll finish it but then look at u and “why the fuck would u even bring that shit in here, huh? u tryin’ to get me out of shape or somethin?” ,, and u look at him like “idk man maybe just dont eat it then.” ,,, the glARE he gives u in response is muRDEROUS //pls this is quite literally the only area he lacks self control dont remind him\\

-has absolutely no regard for neighbors. he yells a lot and if y’all get noise complaints he just glares and 😡💥at the neighbor until they get scared and leave

-he thinks it’s funny to just subtly move things from time to time. like, for example, lets say plates. ,,, so like, u always keep plates on the left side of a certain cabinet, right?? but if he’s putting dishes away and feeling particularly petulant that day, he’ll just put away the plates on the right side instead. man’s then proceeds to smirk and laugh at u every time u open the wrong side of the cabinent from then on with a “jeez, u rlly are a moron, huh? they’re on the right side, remember?” god he’s annoying

-genuinely enjoys going grocery shopping by himself. like idk he just thinks it’s his quiet, personal time, u kno?? and he enjoys doing super-intense meal prep for the week anyways so he’s gotta make sure he gets the right ingredients

-u just hear muffled screaming from time to time. like u’ll be in the kitchen eating breakfast totally calm, and he’s making the bed and all the sudden just a “jesus fucking christ, swear to fuck im gonna blow up this stupid fuckin’ fitted sheet!” (which honestly??? valid. fuck fitted sheets.)

-if he doesn’t want to hang out with the bakusquad but they’re forcing him he’ll text u something like “I love you.” and then ofc ur like “i love u too. but also, u never just say that to me normally?? is something wrong?” and then total radio silence from him for like 20 mins and u get super worried,, and then he just sends u a video of mina or denki being loud with a “Can you get sick or something? I want to come home.” ,, i- 🧍

- isnt going to want a pet,, but if u have, like, a dog already when u move in with him, then it’s going to become bakugou’s dog. if he’s going to have to have a dog than he’s gonna make sure it likes him more than u

-hates doing laundry. will volunteer to do dishes instead 11/10 times

-he doesn’t sing in the shower but 100% plays the drums on the walls or his own stomach fight me on this

-he hates the smell of nail polish/nail polish remover. so if ur painting ur nails he’ll just walk in the room and walk directly out,, quickest way to get alone time

-speaking of alone time- say bye. u’ll get none of it,,, it’s not that he’s constantly on top of u or like talking to u, he just always sorta ends up in whatever room u are. like a cat, pretty much. like he won’t say anything, but if u get up to do something, he gets up and chooses to move his lounging to somewhere nearby

-he likes to scare the shit out of u. just like, rlly juvenile stuff like hiding around corners just to jump out at u. will just stand there and laugh when u scream, and will never, never apologize

-he gets weirdly worked up about hair?? just hates it, thinks it’s disgusting if he sees a stray hair anywhere. even if its his own. like yes it’s gross ig, but he gets so 🤮 about it

-he does house chores unecessarily loudly. like, u watch him and it seems like he’s doing everything totally normally,, but jesus christ why is it so loud

-gets bitchy around christmas if u decorate without him. he will complain the eNTIRE time if he does have to decorate, but will throw an even bigger fit if u dare to do it without him

-he gets mad if people drive too fast in ur neighborhood/ past ur apartment complex. like, y’all have 0 (zero!) kids, but he’s still up at the window like “Slow the fuck down, asshole! Why the hell doesn’t anyone have any common fuckin’ sense around here? That’s dangerous, you piece of shit!”

-if u sing around the house a lot, it’s the only habit of urs he’ll have absolutely nothing to say about. like it doesn’t even matter if ur a good singer or not, he just likes when he can hear u in the house even if ur not in the same room. he finds it comforting

-bakugou hates having people over to ur place. he thinks of it like his calm-space/safe-haven and it rlly pisses him off when people are there

-on the rare days he doesn’t have to work at all and stays home, mans is a total baby. he just refuses to get up for anything other than bathroom or meals and even then goes straight back to bed. he takes basically a 24 hr nap and expects u to do the same with him he’s so dramatic pls

-will make snarky comments about reality tv shows with u. just the bitchiest shit possible bc he enjoys trash talking as an art form, and absolutely does not care who it’s about

-likes to watch u do skincare stuff. he won’t ask questions and will be borderline offended if u offer some to him, but he just likes to watch u do it. man’s thinks of it as like his personal asmr

-hates online shopping. (pls i have absolutely no explanation for this one i just know its true)

-he has a lot of pride in his house so it’s actually rlly well decorated. like, he would never consent to living somewhere busted, lmaooo, so if u dont kno how to decorate he’ll figure it out for the both of u

-u can always tell if he’s falling asleep bc he constantly does that weird full-body jerk. like the one where it feels like ur falling

[lemonietrinket]

i have a friend he is called Leg i was feeling down and he wanted to cheer me up and so, bexo was born

i sent him a photo of exo and he got to work with ‘guessing’ what they’re like  it took off, with some.... surprisingly deep lore (with some fanfiction tones too which is... really weird.... he is the equivalent of a local ..?), and i think its hilarious so im going to make you read it all too

he knows literally nothing, especially about exo, and so he is completely making these ‘guesses’ insert: ‘characters’ from the photo alone (hence this is all done in lighthearted tone with no offence intended)

alas here is the deep lore that is the first part (?) of BootLeg (?)

~~~

BEXO

Lineup (from left to right): Paul, Ryan, Jayson, Daniel, Terrance, Brayden, Hamish, Lazarus/Gunther

Paul (Chanyeol)

hates that hes called paul

always trying to act like hes not a paul

if he were a spice he would be flour

summary comment: “it says ‘dude’ on his jacket like c’mon. hes trying so hard to not be a paul and its just not working out for him, lets me honest. but yeah idk what else to say about paul really. because he is fairly plain deep down”

Ryan (Kyungsoo)

hes the only one that thinks hes cool

everyone else just keeps him around to laugh at how short he is

only ever finds out about 50% of the parties

summary comment: “hes the guy where like everyone will be just chilling out and then he’ll like throw something in a bin from across the room and go mad about it. and people are kind of sick of it but not enough to tell him to stop”

Jayson (Kai)

"this fucker is the kid whose parents bought him a ps4 and let him play 18s while everyone else was still on pokemon and wii sports”

never stopped flexing on everyone in school

“nobody liked him but some people decided to hang out with him for the clout and its still true”

“like the ringleader but people really just like the vibes he gives them”

summary comment: “im trying to think of a name but all i know for sure is that its not spelled the normal way” later “JAYSON”

Daniel (Suho)

his mum always said he was cool so he just went with it

his dad is a painter “idk why thats relevant but its just a fact”

wanted to be a baker

pleasant if you catch him by himself but more cold and a dick when with “the crew”

bffs with paul since childhood and kept pushing each other until they were in way over their heads

in an alternate au they would be florists

and leg says he knows nothing of fanfiction

daniel is deep with the kpop now, and despite his true nature, manages to keep up appearances much better than say paul

summary comment: “sometimes they sneak away for a picnic” 

Terrance (Baekhyun)

always was the smartest but few actually knew because hes really quiet

despite seating plans in school he was somehow always in the back corner

“someone is pretty sure they saw him in a field surrounded by miscellaneous vegetables and dead rats once but it seems to strange for even them to believe”

nobody in the group knows his last name and no one is going to ask

they pretend theyre not scared of him but tbh he can probably smell fear

can also teleport probably so theres no point running. root vegetables only slow him down.

summary content: “all i know is that if i wasn’t fated to die at the paws of your cat then terrance would get me for sure”

Brayden (Xiumin)

has a side gig as a drag queen

“he loves it, but kpop makes him more money. but that money lets him improve his drag. so he sees it as a really good cycle”

he was the one that chose the “black & white checkerboard thing going on [in the photo]”

Paul went with it because he thought it would make him cool

nobody knows why terrance went along with it and it will remain a mystery

“brayden actually auditioned for a girl group while in drag 

and was accepted

...but then he realised the time commitment and so bailed after their debut

people have speculated about That MV™ but nothing has been confirmed”

summary comment: “besides he does like the kpop too. he just honestly loves being worshipped”

Hamish (Chen)

was going to be a builder because his dad is in construction

he often worked with daniels dad weirdly

“small world”

the two dont know it yet but they will find out and it will be a “sweet bonding moment”

he is mostly bald

“everyone really likes him so they keep around and go through the trouble of using photoshop and cgi hair in mvs”

they once did an anonymous vote for who their favourite person in the group was

paul & daniel voted for each other

i cant believe hes actually got a ship going in a fake ‘parody’ kpop group i cant

ryan voted for jayson because he thought everyone else would

and everyone else voted for hamish

well there was one vote that was blank everyone knows whose it was but like... you think they were going to bring it up?

hamish voted for paul bc he felt bad for him

the main problem is the fact hes allergic to wigs

this means that he has been “sick” for every live show ever, bar once

as in his first one

the one where he realised hes allergic to wigs

didnt go well

summary comment: “his hair looks photoshopped which means it obviously is”

Lazarus/Gunther (Sehun)

he called himself lazarus bc he thought it sounded cool

nobody knows his real name—meaning: nobody as told him that everyone knows his real name

he joined bexo late and really wants to be considered just like everyone else

kind of the errand boy, nobody has made a coffee since he joined the group

he is genuinely cooler than some of the others but no one takes him seriously 

partly because of ‘gunther’

also because no one has seen him in a tshirt that doesnt say lazarus on it

super confident, not at all justified

summary comment: “the reason he is positioned like that [in the photo] is because hamish’s fly was undone and it got stuck when he tried to zip it up, so they covered it up with gunther. he was told to do it because it would make him look cool. so he didnt have a clue”

~~~

please spare my soul and lmk if leg is cancelled

(i realised too late that there was no lay :(( but tbh its probably better off that way lmao he doesnt have to suffer)

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[do-your-socks-have-holes-in-them]

self indulgent writing the fourth

some platonic moceit, to balance out that other thing where deceit was The Worst... the doc for this is titled “in which patton’s adoption instinct takes over” lmao

it doesnt really need to be all the way behind a readmore, not nearly as bad as the first few things, but at this point that’s just how the format is

@altruistic-skittles

The night was calm as Patton stood in the kitchen, clad in onesie pajamas and sipping hot chocolate.  It had just seemed like the thing to do at the end of this particular long day.  He was sort of enjoying the quiet and the being alone, which almost never happened when the sun was up, and was understandably surprised to hear the stairs creak and discover someone else was awake at 5 in the morning.

He narrowed his eyes at the silhouette coming into the room. “Virge?” he guessed.  Then the figure stepped into the moonlight and he blinked.  “Oh! Uh… Deceit!  I didn’t, uh, wasn’t expecting you to show up right now…”

Patton trailed off with an awkward laugh.  He wasn’t going to say so, obviously, but being alone with Deceit in the middle of the night… well, it made him a bit uncomfortable. True, he hadn’t tried to do anything bad since moving in, but he was just a little creepy, okay?  Other than not having his hat on, he looked just as villainous as always.  Patton couldn’t help taking a tiny step backwards when he recognized him.

Deceit rolled his eyes, and the light in the window reflected eerily off his scales as he paused where he was.  “The others aren’t here, Morality, there’s no need to play nice.”

“What?”

“You don’t have to act like you don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Patton protested.  He then took another step back- into the counter behind him- and swallowed nervously as he found himself cornered.  Well, not really, he could always sink out to his room, but it still kinda felt like it.

Deceit sighed, sounding rather annoyed and bitter. “Right.  Of course.  You’re physically incapable of such a feeling, I’m sure.”  He paused and looked behind himself at the doorway, then moved a little closer- maybe going for the cabinet next to Patton?  “I just wish you wouldn’t pretend-”

“Can you not right now?” Patton interrupted.  He was looking down, into his empty cup.  “I’m tired, okay, I’m not in the mood for… whatever this is.  Would you just get whatever you came in here for and go?”  Why was Deceit even getting so close?  He usually wouldn’t let anyone within five feet, it was like he was allergic to human contact or something.

“Is he bothering you, Morality?”

Both their heads snapped up at the sound of a third voice, and Patton set his mug down a little harder than he meant to.  He couldn’t tell who was standing at the entrance to the kitchen, but he was sure it wasn’t any of his friends.

“Um… who are you?” he tried.  The person just laughed.

“Oh, don’t worry,” came the non-answer.  “I was just passing by, and couldn’t help but notice that slimy snake making you uncomfortable- I’ll be happy to deal with him for you…”

Patton hesitated.  In fairness, he didn’t really want to be talking to Deceit right now, but this new side was giving him some really iffy vibes.  He wasn’t sure how to respond until Deceit edged closer, just barely brushing arms with him, and Patton felt him trembling.

“Well?” the other side prompted.  “Go on, you can get back to bed.  I’ll take care of him, no need to worry.”

Patton’s eyes narrowed.  He’d felt Deceit flinch back at that, however much he tried to hide it, and his dad instincts were kicking in.

“Oh, well, it’s nice of you to be concerned about me but I think you have things a little mixed up,” he replied in a too-cheerful voice. “See, we were just talking, nothing to worry about!”  He casually pushed away from the counter and put a hand on Deceit’s wrist, easing him behind himself as he watched the unknown side stiffen at his words.

“I don’t think you realize the mistake you’re making,” and oh, Patton could just hear the incredibly strained smile in those words.  Based on the sharp inhale from behind him, that must have been a dangerous tone.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about. Have a nice night, bye!”  With that, Patton reached for Deceit’s hand and sank them both out as fast as he could.

As soon as they were safe in his room, Patton turned around, supporting Deceit as he shook off the dizziness of rising up.  “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Deceit pulled away and tried to straighten his clothes and steady his hands all at once, looking anywhere but at Patton.

“I’m not sure I believe you,” Patton said gently.  “You seemed pretty shaken there, kiddo.  Mind telling me who that was?”

Deceit seemed to almost do a double-take at the nickname Patton used for literally everyone he ever talked to, and it made Patton feel just awful to realize he’d never said it to him before.  “He, he wasn’t anyone,” he said quickly.  “...Certainly not a so-called dark side who happens to deserve the name more than most, and would have it out for me even more if I told you who he was.”

“Have it out for you…?” Patton murmured.  He was really, really glad he hadn’t let that guy take Deceit. “Has… he hasn’t hurt you before, has he?”

A shudder went through him and he closed his eyes.  “No, of course not,” he said unconvincingly. “Don’t worry.  I’m fine.  I’ll just- go back to my own room now…”

“Wait-” Patton caught his wrist lightly as he started to leave- “are you sure you’ll be safe?  You can’t sink out from one room straight to another, and he could still be around…”

Deceit pulled his cape tighter around himself.  “I’m certain it will be fine.  He’s the kind of person who gives up easily.  I just want to go back to my room and sleep, if you don’t mind, so--”

They both jumped at a knock on the door.  Patton turned to Deceit, only to find he’d disappeared, and opened the door cautiously.

“Hello…?”

“Hi again,” said the same side from earlier, “it seems there was a bit of a misunderstanding on your part, what I meant-”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Patton interrupted, struggling to keep the “passive” in passive-aggressive.  “Sorry, but it’s much too late to be standing here talking. Goodnight, whoever you are!”  He closed the door in his face.

After taking a moment to get his anger under control, he turned around.  “Deceit?” he called softly, “Where’d you go?  You can come out now, I locked him out… oh no, I hope he didn’t leave the room… uh- Deceit?  If you’re still in here I’m gonna need you to say something, or I’m going to go look in the common areas, okay?”

After a moment, Deceit emerged from under the bed, trying to make the action look smooth and natural.  “I was just seeing if you had any interesting secrets hidden down there,” he explained.

“Find anything?”

He sneezed.  “Dust.”

Patton laughed.  “Oh no, you’ve uncovered the dark secret that I don’t vacuum my floor.”

Deceit felt the edges of his mouth turn up despite himself. Patton stepped closer and ruffled his hair to get the dust out and he froze for a moment, face heating up.  He didn’t usually let anyone touch him, but wow that felt good.  He had to blink a few times to regain his composure, scalp still tingling where Patton’s hand had been as he started talking again.

“…doesn’t look like you’re going to be able to leave until we know he’s gone,” Patton was saying with an apologetic expression. “I’m sure it will be safe once the others start getting up in the morning, but it could be a while… You take my bed, okay?  At least get some sleep while you’re here.”

He froze up a little and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.  “I don’t sleep.”

Patton raised an eyebrow.  “But just a minute ago you said-”

“I know, I know what I said.”  He dragged a hand over his face.  “Sometimes things just- come out.  I don’t know why I’m telling you this, actually.”

“You’re tired,” Patton reminded him, nudging him to sit on the bed.  He didn’t quite manage to protest.  “Why don’t you change into something more comfortable, and then if you really don’t want to sleep in my bed we can figure something else out.”  With that, he left to get ready for bed himself.

Left alone, Deceit shrugged and made a small gesture to change into the only non-embarrassing pajamas he had.  They looked pretty much like his usual clothes, actually, but were made from a softer fabric, and instead of his capelet he had a fluffy black robe to wrap around himself.  Even that small change made him rather self-conscious, and then of course Patton had to return just as he failed to suppress a yawn.

“Aw, you look cozy!”  Patton, of course, had been in his pajamas to begin with.  He took a seat on the bed next to his guest.  “Are you okay sleeping here?”

“I… suppose.  Better than going anywhere else.”

His face lit up with a smile, but he didn’t comment, just nodded.  “Do you care if the fairy lights stay on?”

Deceit shrugged, so Patton kept them when he went to turn the rest of the lights off.  He had to admit, the warm glow they gave off was calming.  It was difficult to tell where Patton went after that, but presumably he was sleeping somewhere else in the room.  Deceit didn’t really care.  He pulled the blankets up over his head and waited to fall asleep, trying not to think about how he was cocooned in things that smelled like Patton, and especially trying not to think about the fact that he felt safer that way.

Patton was roused from the blanket nest in the corner of the room, AKA his secondary bed, by the sound of his guest in distress.  He poked himself in the eye trying to get his glasses on and then stumbled over to help.  Deceit was curled into a tiny ball under the blankets, mumbling incoherently in his sleep; it looked like he was having a nightmare.  Patton knelt next to the bed and touched his shoulder carefully.

“Wake up, hon, you’re okay…”  His gentle attempts to rouse the other weren’t doing much.  If anything, he seemed more upset- Patton caught a soft, pleading “no.”  Not knowing what else to do, he climbed onto the bed and maneuvered Deceit into his arms. He rocked back and forth, humming a lullaby from Thomas’s childhood and trying not to wonder if it was weird to do that with a grown man.  Either way, it seemed to be working.  Deceit relaxed bit by bit, and finally, Patton was able to lay him down again and slip away.

Or at least, he thought he’d be able to do that.  As soon as he tried to get off the bed, the sleeping side had a vice grip on the fabric of his pajamas.

“Okay, uh… I guess you don’t want me going anywhere,” he laughed quietly.  “Don’t worry, I’ll stay… although you might feel different in the morning…”  

Honestly, he kind of expected to get shoved off the bed as soon as Deceit woke up, as had been his experience with Virgil early on. Until then, though, he was happy to cuddle for as long as he was allowed.  He lay down and fixed the blankets, and Deceit was in his arms immediately with a barely-audible “w’rm.”  Patton couldn’t believe how adorable he could be when he wasn’t acting all villainous and trying to… intimidate everyone… goodness, he really was like Virgil had been.  That might be worth some thought.  Once he wasn’t busy watching him unconsciously melt at every little touch, at least.

Deceit woke up very confused.  This wasn’t his bed- where was he?  Why on earth was there someone next to him?  He stayed still, not letting on that he was awake while he tried to remember.  Patton… yes, that was where he was, Patton’s room.  Because he’d come to this side of the mind seeking refuge last night, and it had gone better than he’d even planned for.  And then… oh, no, really?  He kind of wished he didn’t remember half-waking in the middle of the night and clinging to Patton like a scared child.  It was bad enough he’d even gone to him for protection in the first place, really. He was a facet of a grown man, he should be able to take care of hims-

“Oh!  Are you awake?”

Damn it.

“No,” he deadpanned, trying to sound more annoyed than nervous- it was a weird situation, okay?  He didn’t know what he was supposed to do upon waking up in another side’s bed.

“Oh.”  Patton sounded mildly disappointed.  …He hadn’t actually believed that sarcasm, right?  “Well… if you were awake, I would tell you that you don’t have to go back to your own room if you don’t want to.  You can stay here as long as you need, I- I want you to be safe.  …You don’t ever have to go back, if you don’t want to.  Okay?  Wait, you can’t answer if you’re asleep, never mind.”

Deceit remained silent for a long moment.  “If I were awake,” he finally said, voice muffled by blankets and not very steady, “I might tell you I would consider it.”

He could practically feel Patton breaking into a smile.  Probably because he tended to harness the power of the sun for his facial expressions.  He turned onto his side, facing the other, and simply said, “If you told me that, I would be very happy.”

Although he kept his eyes closed and told himself he wouldn’t smile back, it happened anyway.  Patton, for his part, kept his excited reaction as quiet as possible and let him drift back to sleep.

[charbax]

Wintersend’s Exchange

A gift for @dovabunny in the Fenders Wintersend Exchange! They requested: 

Homeless Fen and doctor/nurse Anders who always tries to feed and dress warmly his elf. Fenris doesnt want or trust charity, he wants to be seen as a man - not a project.

also available on my AO3

It started in the winter. A winter’s night, precisely, when Anders is locking the clinic’s door after a day of treating injuries, maladies, and general complaining from late stragglers. Luckily, his Maker-sent secretary was more than happy to handle the last part (read: forcibly showing them the door by social convention or force) and when the patient line dwindled to none, he sent her home. That had been hours ago. Now, it was late, and Anders was more than ready to flip the sign from open to closed and head upstairs for some well-deserved rest.

No sooner than his fingers brushed against the card than someone rapped against the door. Anders sighed, debated turning the sign over fully like the asshole he was, then decided against it since the person technically did come before the clinic was truly closed. He opened the door with a heavy heart. “Can I help you with-” He started, then stopped.

“Yes.” Fenris replied, arms wrapped around himself and his threadbare clothing, the very picture of a shivering wreck. “You can help me out of this cold.”

Anders was too stunned to do more than step back and let Fenris inside. Fenris made a beeline for one of the waiting chairs and collapsed onto it. It was only then that Anders noticed the goosebumps rippling on his skin, the shaking in Fenris’ body, the way his fingers trembled even as he tried to hide them underneath his armpits. Anders sighed again, pinching the space between his brows. “What made you think in here would be better than out there? Or anywhere else for that matter?”

“Hawke is...indisposed.” Fenris answered carefully. “And it’s too late for anyone else.”

“But apparently, not late enough for the hard-working doctor, who’s spent all day holed up in a clinic treating people as their last line of healthcare. What, the walk back home not good enough for you?”

At least Fenris had the decency to look ashamed. Well, as ashamed as a prickly elf could look. “I don’t trust home at the moment.”

Anders’ long face grew longer. For all of his bad blood with Fenris, even he saw the cruelty in shutting the door in a runaway’s face. “Fine.” He relented. “Stay for the night, but I expect you to be out first thing in the morning.”

Fenris nodded mutely and curled up on himself – almost like a cat. As soon as the comparison made its way into his head, it took root and refused to move from Anders’ mind, following him all the way to the supplies closet, where he grabbed the least threadbare blanket and pillow, and back to where Fenris was huddling. “Here.” Anders said, tossing the items at him. “At least crash here properly, for Maker’s sake.”

A person with less than perfect reflexes might have been slapped face-first with bedding, but Fenris only caught the items with a raised eyebrow. Anders had already turned away to finally prepare for sleep, he heard a quiet-

“Thank you.”

He paused, glancing over his shoulder. Fenris had already wrapped himself up in the blanket and curled into the pillow, stuffing his head under the cover until only the tips of his ears were peeking out. In that moment, he looked like any other elf refugee trying to stay warm in a none-too comfortable chair (and Anders can attest to that uncomfortable thing after an ill-advised nap during a quiet hour in the clinic). That image was a real, tangible proof of his care - even if it took form of a ball of blanket and silvery hair - and it reminded Anders why he treated people, or ran a clinic, or let in mage-hating runways.

He didn’t smile, but his steps going up the back staircase were much lighter than before.

His next time off was spent at the Hanged Man with Hawke and (proclaimed) merry band of misfits. It was certainly fitting considering the company currently present at their usual table – a set of twins, a police officer, the co-manager of the Hanged Man, a doctor (Anders), a runaway actor, an internet pirate, and a Dalish student.

And of course, Hawke himself, who was guffawing about something Varric said. Anders wouldn’t know since he was too busy losing at Wicked Grace badly.

“Well...at least all the cards are different this time. I really like how unique all of them are.” Merrill said as she peered over his hand.

“That’s not a good thing sweetness.” Isabela pointed out, laying out her completed set of suits, then appraised Anders with a smile playing at the corner of her lips. “You really do have the worst luck. Can’t be helped really.” On his right, Bethany patted his arm sympathetically as she laid down her own modest hand.

Anders frowned at Isabela. “As opposed to cheating?”

Isabela shrugged, not-so-coincidentally jostling a naughty card nesting in her cleavage (much to the poorly hidden delight of Carver). “It’s not cheating if you don’t get caught.”

Hawke chose that moment to tune into the conversation and gasped. “Isabela would never cheat!” He exclaimed indignantly. Knowing him, he was 100% serious. Varric and Isabela exchanged smiles, then Varric patted Hawke’s bicep.

“We believe you Hawke.”

“It’s not the matter of believing me, but believing in Isabela.” He turned to her. “I believe in you.”

Isabela’s face contorted in a strange mix between amused and touched, which ended up making her look extremely seasick. Fenris stifled a laugh behind his hand, turning his expression to the closest person next to him, and found himself looking at an equally humorous Anders. There was a moment when their eyes met, a moment when Fenris wasn’t feeling the usual hostility and it was just him and Anders sharing a common laugh.

Then Anders turned his head, breaking the connection. Fenris returned his gaze to the table as the conversation moved on. It seemed only minutes before Aveline said regretfully, “Well, I have the morning shift tomorrow, so I should get going.”

Isabela took one look at Merrill covering her yawn with a hand and stood. “I better get kitten home too. Don’t get into too much trouble boys. At least, not without me.”

With Hawke’s innocent, “We won’t Isabela!” sent her way, Isabela put an arm around Merrill’s shoulders, dropped money onto the table, and left with her. Following their example, Varric and Hawke put their heads together to figure out how to pay for their night in the bar (“Put it on my tab.” Was Varric’s usual reply, to Hawke trio’s indignation, which then started a one-versus-three of who would get to pay it back).

As Fenris reached into his own pocket to draw out the lone bills he had, Anders’ hand slapped in front of him, startling him. Anders withdrew his hand without another word and stalked out, leaving behind a few bills where his hand had been. It was more than enough to cover his own split bill.

“Anders-” Fenris started, but the mage was already gone. He frowned. Despite his feelings on Anders’ ideals, he recognises altruism when he sees it, in the man who chooses to sleep in his own clinic. It’s not cheap to run the service that Anders does, and for as long as Fenris has known him, he not the type to spend frivolously when he’s saving for the endless costs of the clinic.

And yet. Fenris would not deny that Anders was not the only one who had been counting pennies, so to speak. His had pride dictated that he would not accept any of the charity money offered by his friends, but there was clearly enough money for both his and Anders’ meals. How did the mage know that would he would be short for the evening?

No matter. Varric was already grudgingly accepting the Hawkes’ payment, as well as sweeping the bills off the table and into his hand. There was nothing else he could do about it, in terms of paying.

It still left an unsettling pit in his stomach.

It was only more ‘kindness’ since then, disguised as inconveniences for Anders and often riding along the coattails of excuses. ‘I needed to get rid of some of the older blankets, take this one. There’s no holes in it, at least.’ ‘A patient made a pie as a thankyou, but what do you know, I’m allergic to blueberries!’ ‘Someone kindly donated a hand-made beanie and scarf. Unfortunately, grey’s just not my colour.’

Not that Fenris hasn’t been trying to refuse them, with the keyword being ‘trying’. Being in the middle of an unusually harsh winter and dry season for jobs, it would make sense to accept the help. But just because it was logical didn’t mean that Fenris liked it very much. It felt too close to the small acts of mercy Danarius would give to him, akin to throwing a bone to a very beaten dog after a whole day of posing and remembering lines and pushing himself to exhaustion, which Fenris was ashamed to admit to have lapped up as a sign of favouritism. Delicious meals, fine clothes. He might as well have been a glorified pet with a lyrium collar back then.

When Anders dumped a pair of earmuffs on him – elongated for long tipped elven ears – Fenris finally confronted him. “Why all of this?”

Anders fixed him a confused look. “I’m very sure elven biology is enough similar to humans that they both feel the cold somewhat similarly. Unless your prickly sensibilities chose not to feel cold in the air?”

“I mean why all these...gifts.”

“...I needed someone to dump them off? Lirene only accepts cash donations and there’s only so many mismatched scarves and beanies I can own before I would have to give them away as well. Not to mention I’m trying to watch my weight, so food’s the least of my problems-”

Fenris knew stalling when he heard it. “Then cease it. I’m not a charity case, nor a project. If you feel nothing more than pity for me, then I would prefer how we were at the start.”

Hurt flashed across Anders’ face, for a moment, then it was wiped away with a frown. “This wasn’t- this isn’t a- I wasn’t doing it to try to, Maker forbid, change you Fenris. Are you a prickly bastard? Yes. Do I think that you should be a little more sympathetic to the plight of mages because they’re so similar to your own problems? Also yes. Do I still think of you as a friend? Well, I do, unless it’s not been mutual this entire time, which I guess makes me an idiot.”

Fenris knew stalling when he heard it. “Get on with it, Anders.”

“I was, I was. Look. If I was trying to change you – which I’m not! - I would put a lot more effort into shaping you into a specific person, don’t you think?”

Logic warred with suspicion. “And what if you are only bribing me?”

“That’s assuming there’s anything you can give me.”

That stung more than it should. Fenris shook his head. “Then there is no sense to keep giving me things when I have nothing to give back. I do not want to be indebted to you, and I am not yours to shape as you see fit.”

“For the last time, I’m not trying to lord this over you. But I’ll stop it if that’s what you, honest-to-Andraste, believe is the logical thing to do.”

Yes. Fenris was convinced it was.

So the gifts stopped, and with it, so did whatever little camadrie there had been. The next time they met as a group, Anders barely acknowledged him. But Fenris had meant what he said, so he forced himself to swallow the bitter taste of seeing Anders’ eyes pass over him with a neutral glance. At the one after that, Anders chose not to turn up at all, citing a busy clinic as his excuse. Fenris didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed.

A few days of this apathy passed without fanfare, only for Hawke to pull Fenris and quietly asked if he had a fight with Anders.

“We had a discussion and cleared the air. Nothing else happened.” Fenris answered, if a bit testily.

Hawke levelled a stare at him. “Anders has been throwing himself into his work. He hasn’t been coming to the last three Wicked Grace nights, and he loves Wicked Grace. Either flu season was terrible, or you two are trying to avoid each other.”

“I am not avoiding him.”

“Yes you are. You two seemed to getting along so well with all the presents Anders was giving you.”

Fenris scowled, reminded of the reason why he was in a bad mood in the first place. Hawke continued, oblivious. “When I asked Anders, all he said was that he was giving you space. Did he do something Fenris? Should I be more worried? Were the presents themselves really that bad?”

...the meals may have been warm, but not the creations of a gourmet kitchen, and the clothes, clearly hand-me-downs despite their well-cared for appearance. “No.” Fenris said. “They were passable.”

“They must’ve sure been something if you didn’t want them anymore.”

They were hardly the rewards Danarius would shower him during the sponsorship, especially the ones Danarius gave when he was feeling more whimsical than demanding. But Danarius always had the ulterior motive of keeping Fenris docile and controlled. Anders just did it because he felt like it.

“Thank you, I suppose, for giving me something to think about it.”

Hawke clapped his shoulder, taking that as a sign that the problem was solved. “Not a problem. I’m always here if you need me.”

People to depend on. Those were rare. Maybe Fenris could do with one more.

This time, it was Fenris who was pacing in front of Anders clinic just before closing time. His earlier resolve had crumbled, and he tried in vain to gather its remains. He jumped when the front door opened, but it was only a lone dwarven couple ferrying a sleepy child out. He held the door open respectfully and stepped inside before the door swung shut.

As Fenris’ eyes adjusted to the dark, he could make out the surprise in Ander’s face from behind the receptionist desk. “Fenris?” Anders rose out of his chair, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Really? I was under the impression that you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“I opposed your pity gifts. The company was…less than terrible, truth be told.”

Anders narrowed his eyes at him. “Why do I feel like you’re lying.”

Anders, as much as Fenris would hate to admit, had a point – here he was, after weeks of avoiding Anders like he had the Blight, and now, trying to make contact like he wasn’t the one who cut off Anders in the first place. The mage deserved honesty.

“I am not. I needed time to make sense of what I was feeling. I am not the best at words.”

Anders tipped his head at Fenris’ statement. At least he wasn’t making a smart remark. The fact that Fenris could predict a good Anders sentence and an irritated Anders sentence was an indicator that he probably knew Anders more than he had originally thought.

“What I said back then is still true. I do not like being in the debt of others. When I was. underneath Danarius’ contract, everything I received was something that could be used against me later. I cannot just shake this suspicion for it has saved me often. But one day, I would like to know what it would be like to walk freely, without distrust in every interaction. All I ask for is time and a chance to try existing outside that sponsorship.”

Anders stared at him for a long moment. Fenris willed himself to stare back, not defiantly, but in hope that his look would convey his sincerity. Finally, Anders spoke. “I will admit, it stung when you didn’t my goodwill. But that makes sense. I may be an advocate for mage rights, but even I can admit that bastard belongs in the Deep Roads, so it’s no wonder you don’t want anything to do with him.”

That’s all Fenris wanted and hoped for. He had nothing else to mention, so he nodded and turned to the door.”

“Wait.” Anders called out. “Do you somewhere to sleep tonight?”

Fenris faltered. He hadn’t been planning very far apart from hoping Hawke would answer his door. “I was thinking of asking Hawke, if he is awake at this time.”

“It’s very, very late so he’s probably not. Do you want to stay for the night? I promise, no doing this for bragging rights.”

Just as he reasoned on the first night, there could be worst places than an undocumented doctor’s clinic to sleep in. When Fenris nodded, Anders disappeared in the back, just as he did before, however, he returned with seemingly more items in his hand than the last time – another pillow, a fuzzier blanket, and something dangling off a lanyard on his wrist. Anders dumped them on the chair nearby chair, but held onto the lanyard.

“So I went through a few days of thinking in the span of a few minutes while I was getting these – I can think fast if I have to, don’t look at me like that – and I can’t blame you for thinking like you have to be suspicious of everything. Considering what you just told me, it would be like getting mad at pounce-a-lot for taking down the Wintersend tree.

“So this time, I’m going to give you something else: a choice. Happy Wintersend.”

He held out the lanyard, finally showing the small key hanging on the end. Fenris stared at it. “I don’t understand what this is Anders.”

“It’s one of the spare keys for the clinic – one of the only three in the world, I might add. The only people who have this is me and Lirene. So know that I’m not offering this lightly. This is a...job offer, I guess? I can’t pay you anything other than food, maybe a bit of the stipend if I beg Lirene enough to spare some of the weekly change. I’m sure I can convert one of the rooms upstairs to another bedroom if you want somewhere to board as well. There’s also a contract to read over, but we can do that together. Probably with someone else if you like. Hawke?”

It was good that Fenris was already sitting on the chair. It gave him a measure of support as the full implication hit him. This was Ander’s life, the home of his hopes and dreams, a sanctuary for those who had no-where else – or those without insurance. The previous gifts did not carry the weight of that disarmingly small key, but Fenris could feel its weight off the lanyard.

“I...would need some time. Maybe. I can’t promise anything now.” Fenris said, relishing the way maybe rolled off his tongue. The choice to say so. The feeling only flared when Anders nodded his head.

“I understand. Well, the waiting room is yours until morning.” Anders disappeared to staircase, his steps echoing in the stairwell, until they too faded away. The chairs were just as uncomfortable as they had been the first time Fenris had slept in them, but as Fenris buried himself deeper in them, his mind became cotton-heavy with the incoming sleep.

The last though Fenris had before he drifted off was the speculation of working in a place like the clinic. He had no skills has a medical professional, but there had to be just as honest work there. Fenris smiled to himself. He would let Anders know his answer in the morning.

[darktyrannomon]

im kinda really upset cause i think i’ve found the perfect cat companion (he’s 2-3 years old, off black with a white fleck on his chest, and his name is STORM) from the rescue centre but my mum doesnt want another cat in the house

we’ve had cats p much before i was born and tho my mum loves them she’s really allergic and since milly died a few years back she’s really noticed the difference in NOT having them and is really averse to getting another cat

which i get

but im kinda salty cause my brother and sister just DROPPED pets on my parents without saying anything (my brother, a kitten, my sister, a rabbit..... and she put her girl rabbit in with one of the boys we were looking after and we got many baby bunnies) and when i brought this up my parents said ‘you dropped a horse on us!’

no

no i did not

i had a conversation about getting a horse, and whether i could afford it and what would happen and how to look after it and how it’d help me get out of the house when i cycled through depression because i’d have a RESPONSIBILITY to that animal and that animal would rely on me. she also DOES NOT LIVE IN THE HOUSE

yes, i’ve had to ask for help a few times in the past two years when either i’ve not been getting enough hours, or recently when i had to quit work because of my mental health but that was not SPRUNG on you. luna was not SPRUNG on anyone she was TWO THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED POUNDS STERLING just to BUY let alone buy FOR and KEEP. that’s NOT A FUCKING DECISION i SPRUNG on

every little thing i pay out for her is calculated and necessitated and literally on the whole yard i think i must own the least amount of pure stuff bought for my pony

her saddle was £80 bought off a friend, her bridle £30. i scrimped and saved and only got what she Needed and because she is a good horse she needs very little. i pay £100 a year in vets bills for her jabs and teeth, £45 every 8 weeks for her farrier, £150 a month for her livery, £25 insurance a month, £15 in feed every maybe 2-3 months and she barely has any new stuff unless im in dire need of it. half her rugs are cheap bootsale/bought off friends/freebies from friends and i’ve had the same tools for 6 years, and they’ll keep on longer. my brushes are for when i was loaning ponies at 9 years old at my riding school so they’re at least 15 years old. my section of the tack room is a shelving unit with her brushing box, treat tub, and wash stuff on it, a trunk with her lunging equipment, medical stuff, and feed in, a feed bin, and her saddle rack. she has two stable rugs, a fleece, a lightweight and medium weight turnout, and a fly rug. that’s it.

i bought her whilst i was in a place to pay for her fully, by myself, without aide. i bought everything to do with her myself. my dad treated me to a shavings future fork because my cheap one broke within 2 weeks of using it and this thing hasn’t failed me since. my wheelbarrow has broken and my dad has fixed it twice. i use a tyre on it that doesnt deflate. its only since i’ve been working at build a bear, where my shift hours were so irregular and stupid, that i’ve needed help. there was a gap between my job at game and at the range that i needed help. i’ve needed help since february because i am out of work and medically signed off of work. i am grateful for their help

but i did not spring luna on people

i thoroughly calculated everything, i still do. i never bought new riding boots even tho mine sundered 5 years ago whilst i was still at uni. i’ve just been bought a new really cheap pair as part of my birthday present.

i dont keep my horse stuff all over the house. i keep it in a small corner of the alcove under the stairs. everything else i keep in my car.

i didn’t spring her

i had a conversation with several family members, and NONE OF THEM said no

they said ‘if you think you can afford it? its a big commitment!’ so i calculated and said fuck it. i spent the summer at my job looking after luna, as she was one of the stud horses where i worked, and in the middle of it i went yeah. this horse is gorgeous. her personality is amazing. and my best friend had been in the breeding course at uni the year before when they were learning to back horses and she said luna was wonderful. i had certified knowledge of how this horse was, and one of my lecturers was the yard vet. i wasnt blindly scooping up an animal and springing it

the dog was sprung on my dad - but that was mostly my mum’s fault. i did the whole 11 year old ‘HE’S SO CUTE CAN WE KEEP HIM’ and i’d been asking for a dog for years but they always said no, so i wasnt really expecting anything, and then my mother told me that she had asked my dad and he said it was okay so one evening we went to pick him up. apparently my dad didn’t know anything i find out 10 years later and it was my mother who sprung it on HIM and my dad really doesn’t like dogs (but he loves harvey cause harvey is so good tbh). harvey’s technically still on his ‘two week trial’ lmfao but he’s obvs never going back

and like am i the only person in this family with a conscience and like, anxiety over what people will do/say if i just brought a fucking cat home because THEY HAVE ALL DONE IT WHAT THE FUCK