#it feels like it forced me to be more loose in my choises

[elzorton]

Soldier, Poet, Prince

[nth-times-the-charm]

My brain is much, I'm tired of justifying feeling like shit, of course I feel like shit, and these capitalist pigs just want me to keep toiling, nothing like studying psychology in a left leaning university just to have your teachers deny you a week for grieving the alarmingly close call of you brother wanting to off himself, what, they would have excused me if he'd succeeded? How fucking cruel is that, a whole extra year because I couldn't deal with grief for a week, fuck this shit, fuck finals week, fuck having to justify life with adhd and depression being significantly harder, I'm not lazy and I'm not careless, i put in as much effort as everyone else in, it's just that most of my energy goes towards things people just do without a second thought, waking up is a fucking chore, starting tasks is a nightmare, I hate going to bed more than anyone should, i can barley make it through an entire class without loosing the thread, if I don't take at least 2 medications daily i basically can't function, I become an unreliable mess, so it won't be obvious at first that somethings wrong, I'll manage for a few days, maybe even a few weeks, and then eventually I'll break down, people will be disappointed because they didn't expect me to be this irresponsabile, they didn't think I'd care so little, they'd think it's selfish for me to stay home despite having something really important to do that day, they really believe it's an easy choise, they have no idea how hard getting out of bed can get, they've never spent over 20 hours struggling to wake up, they've never stayed up all night finishing an assignment not because they were careless but because they sincerely couldn't start working on it sooner, they have no concept of having a bad day, not to mention a bad week, and i can tell they don't believe me, i can tell they don't believe how hard it is, because no one talks about how hard adhd is, because we're embarrassed by it, because we're told all our lives that we should work through it, that we'll eventually get better, than it's okay to struggle a little but that we'll get there in the end, we won't "get there" it'll never be the same for us, sure we can pick up the rhythm at an enormous cost, I've always used the metaphor of living with adhd as having a to walk a steeper road than most people to accomplish the same things, but it doesn't really show how difficult things can get.

Imagine the following situation, you have to run a 100m sprint, it will be timed, but it's a fairly generous time, some people seem like they've been prepared for a long time, they are in shape and you know they'll crush the minimum time required, some seem a bit nervous, but doing their best they'll be fine, some don't really feel like running, they'll walk at a brisk pace, but they'll be either really close to the time or late by a small amount,and there you are, forced to do the exact same sprint, only difference is you have to run on your knees, sure you could somehow manage to do well enough, maybe even be in time if you put in a stupid amount of effort, either way you'll wreck yourself trying to accomplish what for some people is just a small task.

[helis97]

Foid shifted on the left bowing slightly before Vitreo :”Shall we go?” Vitreo looked around with his normal uninterested look, triyng to avoid to look at the royal ship. :”You know, my lord, you are not forced to go to Frigos if you don’t feel the necessity.” Said Foid with his usual calm and flirty voice. Vitreo finnaly looked at him :”I have no choise. Frigos is currently an important

 important naval port in our commercial map. I can’t let others nations get a hold on it. If I never show a sign of my presence I’ll loose my influence over neighboring lands.” Stated Vitreo, before immediately turning his eyes away from Foid's penetrant single eye. The Foggernaut smirked :”So I guess it’s just Frigos' weather that bothers you so much.” Vitreo felt a heavy brick landing on his stomach :”Foid, I live in a humid lagoon , I’m not picky about weathers.”answered Vitreo, persistently refusing to look at Foid in the eye. :”Then I guess you’re picky about family?” Foid was not the kind of guy that could be deceived, and Vitreo knew it. :”Harebourg … last time I saw him he was a toddler”-  Vitreo’s knot in his stomach started to feel more heavy than ever –�� But ehy! Maybe he won’t recognise me … or meybe he just died of cold, that would be perfect …” Foid esplode in a loud laugh, holding his stomach from the intensity of his own laughter :”My lord, you hold the biggest grudges of the World of Twelve!” :”What do you know? You're a spoiled only child, bet your parents have eyes only for you.” Replied Vitreo, quite annoyed by Foid’s laughter. The insult didn’t seem to bother the metallic man :”I may be spoiled, but nobody get as spoiled as the king of a land.” Vitreo tried to ignore the truth in Foid’s words, but he was a king and, no matter how much a victim he pretended to be, he was always getting what he wanted. :”Just get on the ship Foid!” he said in the end. :”As you wish, my lord.”                                                                                   *** Here a more complex interaction between Vitreo and Foid. This episode happens way before Frigos is cursed into a waste land of ice. In this period Vitreo behaves like a spoiled kid in puberty who keeps acting guided only by his negative emotions and bad influence -koffkoff.Foid.koffkoff- Vitreo's visit to Frigos will forever scars Harebourg, litteraly, as in my AU Vitreo is the reason Harebourg lost one of his eyes. For more informations about the time continuity: www.deviantart.com/elis97/art/… www.deviantart.com/elis97/art/…

Vitreo and Foid belong to me

[cavendish-dakota-central]

Vinnie Dakota & Balthazar Cavendish

Synopsis: While on their way to a pistachio-related mission, Balthazar discovers that Vinnie is a much better singer than he’d thought and yet again questions the ‘coincidences’ of Milo Murphy.

AKA: Vinnie and Bradley sing Gitchi Gitchi Goo while Balthazar is annoyed. It actually works in context.

~Word Count: About 1359

“Dakota, could you /please/ take this seriously! I know it’s time travel, but every minute still counts!” Balthazar Cavendish said in a failing attempt to refocus his partner.

He was instead forced to wait where he stood at the back of the small crowd forming around some park preformers on one of the smaller public stages. They’d been on their way to yet another pistachio-basef mission, and while it was true that the task was minor and the time it needed to be completed by was hours away, Balthazar was nothing less than focused. Vinnie, however, had already climbed to the top of the small group set up on the stage.

He chatted with the member whom Balthazar assumed was the lead singer. It was almost half a minute before the rest of the group started playing the into of a very firmiliar song. He was a dark-haired, young man in a grey-blue plaid shirt and jeans. He seemed nothing less than happy as he called confidently to the others below.

“Hey everyone!” The lead singer finally stepped up to his mic stand as the intro played. He joined in on a guitar that was slung around him and continued to welcome the gathering crowd.

“Don’t be shy! Come on over for a song or two! I bet you all know this one!” He chucked at the last bit for a reason Balthazar didn’t know. “I’m Bradley and we’re gonna sing a song!”

Their audience clapped and cheered in excitement, but Balthazar only rolled his eyes. He had already easily recognized the famous tune but he wasn’t about to let his mild enthusiasm show. Even he could appreciate a good song when he heard one.

The only difference between this version and the original was that this one had a little more of a rock vibe to it. The lead singer was on guitar along with a girl with dark hair that was dyed at the ends, a blond boy was on the drums behind them, another kid was on bass, and Dakota had picked up a tamberine.

“Sing along! Bow chicka bow wow!”

“That’s what my baby says!” Vinnie sang the back up vocals.

“Mow mow mow-”

“And my heart starts pumpin’!”

“Chika chika chu whop!”

“Never Gonna Stop!”

The pair did the line together to the crowd, “Gitchi Gitchi Goo means That I Love You!”

Balthazar rolled his eyes yet again and crossed his arms tightly in front of his firm figure. He wanted to walk away, but knew his feet wouldn’t move if he tried. These kinds of things always frustrated him about his partner, but he’d never admit to anyone- even himself- that he almost enjoyed them. Luckily, he knew he could definately manage some genuine exasperation if they were anyone but Dakota.

So instead of continuing to walk in the direction of their assignment, he stared up at the small band with a solid gaze and rigid stance.

The younger singer sang the first part.

“My baby’s got her own way of talking  Whenever she says something sweet,”

Suddenly Vinnie picked up, his voice much stronger and much smoother than Balthazar would have expected- though somehow never loosing it’s rough edge. “And she knows it’s my world she’s a-rockin'  Though my vocabulary’s incomplete!”

Cavendish had heard him sing before, but never like this. His voice flowed as well as any professional.

Luckily the other singer’s voice picked up the next line and cut through his thoughts, bringing him back to his surroundings. “And though it may sound confusing, Sometimes I wish she’d give it to me straight,”

“But I never feel like I’m losing!”

“Losing,” The band leader echoed.

“When I take the time to translate, Here’s what I’m talking ‘bout!”

Suddenly a movement near the side of the stage caught Cavendish’s attention. It was that of a firmilar, reflective yellow and black stripped symbol on an olive-green backpack.

The singers alternated the next part a little differently than the original, yet it was orchistrated flawlessly. Unfortunately, Balthazar’s attention was now turned to the firmiliar figure of his self-assigned nemesis racing behind the stage.

“Bow chika bow wow,”

“That’s what my baby /says/!” Vinnie made sure to hit the high, swooping note, “Mow mow mow,”

“And my heart starts pumpi-i-in’, Chika chika chu whop”

“Never Gonna Stop!”

They then sang together once more, “Gitchi Gitchi Goo means that I Love You!”

The tall man quickly made his way to the side of the stage where he’d seen the firmiliar symbol and raced around it in search of the young boy.

“Milo Murphy, I’ll get to the bottom of this just yet!” He grumbled to himself, annoyed to find only empty space that gave way to the rest of the park. Milo was fast, Balthazar could give him that.

He continued around the stage but the figure seemed to have vanished. Cavendish knew it just couldn’t be a coincidence. There could /not/ be /this many/ coincidences in a row that involved the three of them.

The two singers did the rest of the song in flawless unison.

“Well I don’t know what to do-o!”

The crowd easily sang the back up, “I don’t know what to do.”

“But I think I’m getting through-ough!”

“I think I’m getting through.” The audience cheered.

“'Cause when I say I Love You-u!”

“When I Say I Love You.”

“She says I Gitchi Gitchi Goo You Too!”

They alternated, each note building upon the last. “Gitchi Gitchi Goo You Too” “Gitchi Gitchi Goo You Too” “Gitchi Gitchi Goo You Too!” “Don’t need a Dictionary.”

They were leading a beat clap. Meanwhile, Cavendish had no choise but to give up his hunt. The youngster was far gone from view.

“I said a- Bow chika bow wow,”

“That’s what my baby says!”

“Mow mow mow”

“And my heart starts pumpin’!”

“Chika chika chu whop”

“Never Gonna Stop!”

“Gitchi Gitchi Goo means- That I Love You Baby! Baby! Baaab-aayyy!” “Baby, baby, baby, baby….”

“Gitchi Gitchi Goo means That I Love You!”

There was quite a bit of clapping and Cavendish hadn’t even realized the amount of people who were now swarming the area. He’d been too focused on the assumed counter agent who was now long gone from his sight and the surprising yet /amazing/ voice of his companion, who was now climbing down from the stage. Dakota was at his side again nearly as quick as he had gone.

“Don’t worry. We can go now if you want, Balthy.” Vinnie said, salmly resuming the path they had been on before the song.

The taller of the pair shot a quick look behind him before he silently turned to follow his friend, his thoughts suddenly refocusing on the stunning effect Vinnie’s voice had had on him. He chose his next words carefully.

“You… don’t usually sing like that…?”

He felt a little dumb phrasing it that way, but did it anyways as he took the lead away from the growing preformance.

Luckily, Vinnie didn’t seem to notice his hesitation- or at least didn’t seem like he did. He turned to his british companion with a smile.

“Oh yeah. Well, it’s harder to- but puttin’ in the effort isn’t hard when you’re in the moment, yunno?”

He grinned even widder.

Balthazar tilted his head in thought but didn’t say anything more about it. His friend always seemed full of surprises, but this was definately one he would have never expected.

He instead changed the topic before he thought too hard on it.

“I saw that blasted Milo Murphy again but I lost him in the crowd. We need to get to the bottom of this!”

Vinnie sighed.

“And we will. But you could at least lighten up about it until we do.”

Balthazar replied with a huff.

Trying to make a difference in the world was difficult enough without all these distractions, yet he found himself thinking back to his companion’s amazing voice more than possible counter attack for his new and mysterious counter agent.

Blast him and the world’s strange mysteries!

[Notes: ~Excuse my horrible spelling. ~This took like the last half hour of my life to indent/format so I hope you appreciate my effort ~I have no idea if Bradley and Vinnie’s voices would work well together but I like to think they would. ~ yes bradley singing it is kind of a play on the fact that vincent martella voices both him and phineas who originally did song. ~Bradley just needs some attention so I like to think he tries to do things like this and actually has a really good time ~Poor Cavendish he’s just trying to complete his mission lol ~Feedback appreciated thanks!!]

[karu-ck]

Valla Pt.2 - Alex’s POV

Part 01

I’m slowly akawening, what happen? I don’t remember now… oh, yes I do, I was fighting, but I couldn’t defeat that Hoshidian-trash….I was going to die… what happen to my injury?? Wait a second, where am I? I look at me, my injuries were gone, but my hands and legs are chained, damn, my hands are at my back… I look around and is look like a prision, then I see Major, still sleeping.

-Hey, Major!!, Wake up! – I try to wake him up, but he sleep like a log. So I have to get closer moving like a worm, “this is so ridiculous”. Finally I’m next to him and I wake him, hitting her head with mine “auch” - Arrg! – It works, he’ s awake - Hey Major, what happen? – he start to look around, and also notice that he’s chained too - We’re prisoners, but I’m not sure if the troops are Hoshidians - What do you mean, we fight against Hoshian troops.. – I don’t understand what he’s saiying - Look around, this is not like the hoshidian constructions –he’s right, this cells doesn’t look like the Hoshisian walls. - Major, where we are? - You are in Valla! Finally you’re awake

A woman with blue hair and strange clothes appears, with a troops of soldiers. The woman present herself as Allete, Amber, Arete?, anyways, she explain us in order to be realesed, we have to drink something. I see the drink, no way I’m going drink that, smells like shit, and seems so nasty.

But that was not the answer she was waiting, she left some troops enter to the cell, and forced Major to drink it first… Now I’m scared, a purple aura begins to surround him, he scream of pain, I don’t know, I try to get free, but this position is hard make enought streng to break this chains. 

The purple aura stop and he seems calm, “oh no”, is he dead? They released him, and he can stand up…he’s alive!.. Now the woman look at me trying to tell me with the look that I’m next… oh no.. no way, nop, nop, nop, … definitely no.

But I believe I wasn’t in position to negotiate, she treat to kill Major if I don’t drink that thing. Damn it, if only we had more time…now, i have not other choise. I drink this disgusting shit, and there begins was Major was screaming about, it starts with a headache, but so much worst, you feel like all your will is been taken, all you believe is changing, that you’re loosing control… and heard “you’re under my control now”… OH NO, NO WAY,, GET OUT… GET OUT .. GET OUT!!! This is so irritating. A hard moment past, and the pain just gonne, but the annoying voice is still there… but less intense…

The woman looks at me in shock, I didn’t know what really happen. Come on, you’re going to release me, right?...

Ok, Second part of what happens in Valla. Men, when I’m writing/drawing this stuff, I think: oh, I have to make a comment about it, or this... or maybe this... then, when I’m posting it.. I totally forgot what I’m supposed to write.. sorry ;o;

[helis97]

Foid shifted on the left bowing slightly before Vitreo :”Shall we go?” Vitreo looked around with his normal uninterested look, triyng to avoid to look at the royal ship. :”You know, my lord, you are not forced to go to Frigos if you don’t feel the necessity.” Said Foid with his usual calm and flirty voice. Vitreo finnaly looked at him :”I have no choise. Frigos is currently an important

 naval port in our commercial map. I can’t let others nations get a hold on it. If I never show a sign of my presence I’ll loose my influence over neighboring lands.” Stated Vitreo, before immediately turning his eyes away from Foid’s penetrant single eye. The Foggernaut smirked :”So I guess it’s just Frigos’ weather that bothers you so much.” Vitreo felt a heavy brick landing on his stomach :”Foid, I live in a humid lagoon , I’m not picky about weathers.”answered Vitreo, persistently refusing to look at Foid in the eye. :”Then I guess you’re picky about family?” Foid was not the kind of guy that could be deceived, and Vitreo knew it. :”Harebourg … last time I saw him he was a toddler”-  Vitreo’s knot in his stomach started to feel more heavy than ever –“ But ehy! Maybe he won’t recognise me … or meybe he just died of cold, that would be perfect …” Foid esplode in a loud laugh, holding his stomach from the intensity of his own laughter :”My lord, you hold the biggest grudges of the World of Twelve!” :”What do you know? You’re a spoiled only child, bet your parents have eyes only for you.” Replied Vitreo, quite annoyed by Foid’s laughter. The insult didn’t seem to bother the metallic man :”I may be spoiled, but nobody get as spoiled as the king of a land.” Vitreo tried to ignore the truth in Foid’s words, but he was a king and, no matter how much a victim he pretended to be, he was always getting what he wanted. :”Just get on the ship Foid!” he said in the end. :”As you wish, my lord.”                                                                                  *** Here a more complex interaction between Vitreo and Foid. This episode happens way before Frigos is cursed into a waste land of ice. In this period Vitreo behaves like a spoiled kid who keeps acting guided only by his negative emotions and bad influence -koffkoff.Foid.koffkoff- Vitreo’s visit to Frigos will forever scars Harebourg, litteraly, as in my AU Vitreo is the reason Harebourg lost one of his eyes. For more informations about the time continuity: www.deviantart.com/elis97/art/… www.deviantart.com/elis97/art/…

Vitreo and Foid belong to me