#it has completely changed me and im still not done bc the composition is just NOT RIGHT

[murcielagatito]

friendly neighborhood emo spends fifteen minutes shuffling thirteen different piercings around face because one decided to say adios pendejo

[ink-the-artist]

Its a lot harder to do with traditional art but I'd love to see progress shots of your colored pencil stuff its so neat

I wanted to wait until I had progress shots to show before answering this and I took some as soon as I was starting a new colored pencil illustration, which was the Pepto Bismol one I just posted. Gonna put a keep reading cut here bc this’ll probably be a bit of a long post lol. 

I don’t have any kind of strict process I always follow, I just do whatever works best for each specific drawing, so I kind of just took a pic whenever I finished anything that felt like it could be it’s own “step.” Also keep in mind I worked on this during different days, different times of day, and different locations, so the lighting will be pretty different throughout the pics here which will affect how the colors look and the overall quality of the photos, I did the best I could with the changing lighting.

First step is the graphite sketch. Since I’m focusing on the colored pencil part of the process I didn’t document the process of sketching, just the final outcome

I go over the sketch with a colored pencil, I usually use a lighter color so that the lines you’ll see in the next step are lighter and not going to be noticeable when the drawing is all done, and I’ll go with a color that would be found in the illustration so that it doesn’t look unnatural wherever it may show through (I chose pink because, Pepto Bismol)

then I go over the whole thing with an eraser, only the graphite erases completely while the colored pencil stays, even though it dulls a bit. This is so I can still have a sort of outline to color in without having to worry about graphite mixing with the lighter color pencil colors and muddying everything up (it also just cleans up the sketch a lot which makes everything easier to work with)

then I start putting some of the colors down while also adding some basic detail that I’ll color and shade along later. I also go over the lines again just to make sure everything is shaped correctly, but I’m using the base colors of whatever the object is because I don’t actually want things to have outlines later on

I’m kind of mapping out the colors now as well as shadows

(also I finally found a use for this super bright neon pink colored pencil I have lol)

I’m basically just continuously layering on more color and detail, making sure to go light to dark. I mostly work on everything evenly rather than meticulously finishing one area after another but I was a bit more meticulous with the pepto bismol tablets just because they were the most detailed part of the illustration

I pretty much color the borzoi last because it’s the one white thing in this image and I want it to sort of “reflect” all the colors that will be around it and you can see I’m still adding new colors to the background as I go along

adding some green, Im basically trying to get a black without using black by layering opposing (is that the right word?) colors over each other, it makes it so that the black still looks like a natural part of the image because it’s made up of the colors in it, and it gradients toward the foreground better. I’m also doing the same for the nose and lips of the borzoi

finally putting some more color down on the borzoi, both giving it a base color and making the shading more defined

added the pepto splash before I layer any more color on the background. Also in just about every step here I’m continuously touching up the pepto bismol tablets, maybe a bit too obsessively

adding more colors from the background to the borzoi as well as shading it some more

adding more green (and some dark blue) to the background and floor to darken it some more, and again to the borzoi

I blend some of the lighter areas with orange-yellow, dunno if this is a real technique I just like the kind of glow effect it has and I do it a lot in my drawings (basically layering light colors over dark ones and sort of pressing harder with the strokes to blend/smooth everything together while giving it an almost glowing undertone of that light color)

still layering colors to darken everything up

Only at the very end I use a white colored pencil, I haven’t used it at all so far. I give the borzoi it’s fur texture + its whiskers, basically using the same method as earlier when I blended the yellow into darker colors by pressing harder with the strokes, here the strokes are just fur-shaped. I also add some highlights to the metal bowls, the splash of pepto bismol, and the nose and mouth of the borzoi with white colored pencil and a tiiiiny bit of white gel pen (a really tiny bit, basically a few little dots here and there)

oh and I added the “Pepto Bismol” writing to the pepto bismol tablets (or as close to writing as I could get)

also at some point in this step a mysterious black line appeared on the drawing that I couldn’t get rid of :( but its ok I just removed it in photoshop later lol

then I just take as good a pic as I can and touch it up in photoshop, this is for getting rid of flaws like that weird black line as well as to make the photo resemble what the drawing looks like irl as closely as possible, I’ll usually have the drawing next to me so I can reference it while editing the photo to make sure it looks like the real thing. 

also in this step I usually crop the image both to hide the messy edges and to give it a better composition.

you can see how different all these pics look from each other (in terms of lighting and quality) let alone from the final piece, which is why the editing step is important lol

hope this is helpful!

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[morphogenetic]

Is ao no flag worth reading? I went through the tag and why is everyone who's reading suffering?? Damn... :/ are the gays treated badly or what?

ack sorry i didn’t see this earlier anon but excuse me yelling about this a lot because ive been reading this manga since ch 5 and have some STRONG feelings (in a positive way) about it sdlgkhsdkf. sorry for upcoming text wall i can try and space shit out if it’s hard to readokay so: it is absolutely worth reading yes. regardless of anything else that happens, the paneling/composition is fucking worth it alone tbh. it’s gorgeous as fuck, i’ve set specific panels and some of the cover art to be my phone background at certain points its just. oof. man. it’s so fucking good.

like. goddamn. this page in particular is SO fucking good and there’s more shit like this everywhere. i’m honestly in fucking love w the art and panel work it’s so good at show-don’t-tell and it’s just. so well done to boot.putting the really good art aside though: the overall discussions between characters that happen in this manga are fucking incredible. like. even going on beyond just treating gay characters with a level of respect that i wasn’t expecting in a shonen jump property (not the main mag but definitely still really widely read), there’s a really deep discussion of gender roles and the struggles that girls/women have to deal with in japanese society that i wasn’t expecting to see at all but that i deeply, deeply appreciate. also it goes a lot into the struggle of the high school to college transition and just the general idea of not knowing what the hell you want to do with your life and i just. really appreciate those things existing

while the gay characters experience pain, i would not say they are treated badly. i will probably fail at explaining this well while also trying to avoid spoilers lol, but while they are definitely going through some rough shit, it’s not rough shit for the sake of being cruel to them, and as characters they are honestly some of the most well-developed characters gay characters i’ve seen in any media at all, because nothing about them is treated as a joke. they’re both treated with as much respect by the narrative as the (seemingly, i personally doubt the lead is actually straight and there’s some hints as to another main being trans but neither of those are canon so let’s call them straight for now lol) straight charastheir pain isn’t like….punching down, if that makes sense? like yeah they’re going through some shit, but it’s for the sake of the narrative getting a message across,and  their circumstances are actively decried by the narrative as Being Shitty. it’s really not pain  for the sake of just being cruel to fictional gay characters Because The Author Can Be Cruel If They Want To. im trying to think of a good comparison point to this but it’s a struggle, the best comparison i can think of in manga rn that you MIGHT have a point of reference on is how magne is being treated in b/nha right now. (I AM NOT READING BN//HA im not even caught up on the anime slkghsdf but based on what i know of her treatment she seems to be having a rough time of actually being treated like a person.)  anyway i have no idea if i’m explaining this point well at all but hopefully followers of mine reading anf already get what i mean by this, it’s not cruelty for the sake of being cruelthat and like. everyone in this gd manga has some degree of pain, both the ‘straight’ characters are EXTREMELY anxious/depressed and one of the non-leads honestly has one of the most developed internal struggles, to the point where the entire gd fandom collectively had a moment of apology to her because we fucked up THAT bad in reading her personality lmao. this is technically a drama manga, after all, everyone’s dealing with some level of (realistic-to-real-life) internal struggle rn, but there’s no internal-narrative mocking of it. everyone’s issues are treated with respect

there are some things lately (and by ‘lately’ i mean within the last chapter or two) that many people, including myself, have reacted to with some amount of hesitation. anf has a habit of showing one thing and then completely changing your mind about said thing (see: aforementioned non-lead thing). i am not personally happy about it, but this is a monthly manga, so i’m willing to let it play its course for now. totally get the fandom dissatisfaction about it though but i think the good points of the manga up to this point still definitely outweigh itSORRY ANON THIS IS PROBABLY LONGER THAN YOU WERE EXPECTING LOL but yes. anf very good. painful but like. realistic pain and not Just For The Sake of Being Painful

RETROACTIVE EDIT BC IM A DUMBASS: if you’re seeing this and going ‘huh, cool, where can i read this?’ the answer is on the website/app mangaplus, which is a LEGAL, OFFICIAL, AND YET SOMEHOW ALSO FREE way to read a ton of shonen-jump-associated manga, including anf (under the title blue flag). the little volume extras aren’t there but they’re easy enough to find on mangadex and places like that lol

[yunhycran-blog]

( the cuteST )

for once i don’t have a long ass spiel typed before introducing myself, imagine that ! hey i’m kat, i’m 20, canadian, and uh, i’m rly pulling this stunt again huh !! bc of lo siento fucking me up, i’m giving this brat one last shot in the group rp realm rather than pick up a new muse ( i am.. v convinced i kill or ruin rps by presence alone but with her ?? it’s tenfold so fingers crossed GKSKGKSL ) i’m just.. rly attached to her ok. 

i’m a uni student and in love with sowoo if that wasn’t already obvious, plus i’m 90% sure at least a quarter of you have seen me use hyeran before so this shouldn’t be a surprise to you SDKGJGKLDFS. you can find extras abt her — including stats — HERE, hmu on d*scord if you’d like ( STREAM LO SIENTO !!#2030 ) and with that, i’ll shut up and ( re ?? perhaps ? dfgjslkg ) introduce you to this brat !

` +⬦･ﾟ——— SHE/HER, PANSEXUAL — YUN HYERAN is said get mistaken for JEON SOMIN on campus all the time. they are TWENTY-TWO and about to go into their SENIOR YEAR. rumour has it they’re majoring in MUSIC COMPOSITION and came all the way from DAEGU, SOUTH KOREA. their roommate says they’re EBULLIENT & RESOLUTE but also SELF-CRITICAL & CIRCUMSPECT. ( kat, 20, gmt-3:30, and she/her  )

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh this is a copied intro from a few months back that i tweaked a bit for the rp, and i don’t have the time to perfectly incorporate much of her bg, so you can check out all of that HERE

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, albeit barely. he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her, or at least that’s how she perceives it, and she tends to distance herself from him

would visit jeju island when she was younger bc her aunt lived there

she adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so overall jeju holds a special place in her heart

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) but transferred to busan u after some.. shit and her own feelings ? anyways she was content when she settled here and soon found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at a café off-campus

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt a year now

she’s not even close to making it big yet ofc, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short since i took out a bit from when she was recent uni grad!hyeran so, pardon that sgkljgskfld

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said ( and will elaborate on in her bio ), her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being — by that i mean another two years or so ?? LJSKSDFGJ my baby’s still hurt by his bullshit so — but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

don’t confuse that with her being v forgiving, weak, etc, etc. she’s a soft bitch, p vulnerable too ngl but.. she’s not that Dumb sdljfkg

speaking of vulnerable, she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

spontaneous tbh, transferring to busan was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a bit reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but.. still dgklsf

don’t confuse that with optimism tho, bc she’s a bit of a defensive pessimist deep down, with her optimistic side always trying to overpower it

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone

uhhh

has a good understanding of english, her mom’s an american national so she grew up with it being spoken in the house at times

prob speaks it better than i speak french ( and uh, i studied that for almost ten fucking years with a shit end result on that end of things LKSDFGJGDKF ), but still wouldn’t consider herself fluent

.. i would tho js

plays piano and bass guitar, but knows her way around a flute and tenor sax ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet as an homage to jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten back in daegu ( i’m shit with pet names so if lucy sounds lacklustre.. you know why rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin wears a lot ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them for reading and especially while she’s working on shit on her laptop, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, just a bit, but god help her nonetheless

her favourite subject in hs was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café, even took up a couple of courses since attending uni

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoiding listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 11 “BUT IM SAfE” (Lexi)

johnny: i love allie so much. we must save you both 4 votes zak 3 votes aro. we will make it johnny: flips and gets himself voted out why do i always align with the stupid people. i really want to know.

*continues to sip my rum bitterly* Pretty sure if I lose this immunity I'm going home next. I honestly don't trust a single person in this game anymore, not that I had a lot of trust with anyone to begin with but y'know. Johnny was one of the few people I felt I could work with, and I'm on the fence about Ryan now, he came to me about the vote about Johnny and I told him I breaking up a group would be better and now Johnny is gone. Mitchell is saying it was Ryan, Ryan is saying Mitchell already had it planned out before, and Willow is saying Johnny was a threat. I mean I think it was Mitchell's and WIllow's groups but I can't be sure. The only thing I can be sure about is I'm on the bottom here.

(a little bit later)

UPDATE: there is no way in hell i'm winning this challenge.

Welp... it took 3 fuckin seasons but i think i'm finally... in a power position on tumblevivor. I think i'm finally fuckin on top. And tru, I was a significant power player in both Machu Picchu's and Malaysia's pre-merges, but by the time the merge came, I was unsuccessful both times in forging a legitimate and feasible path to the end of this game. After Matt was voted out, I cursed my luck - AGAIN i had failed. AGAIN i was to wait and watch my ally's be picked off by Allie's. But then Willow came, changed it all, and we pulled off the biggest fucking move of this game - which I orchestrated - by taking out Johnny. And just as you'd imagine, the whole game fucking opened up. Willow and I've got a F3 with Allie, a F4 with Aro and Zak, and now I've got people coming to ME. Wanting to work with ME. Because, for now, I'm on top. And when that happens, people are going to want to tear you down, so immunity is now more important than ever... as is this next vote. I need to keep myself shored up as well as possible. My 3-way alliance chat w Aro and Zak is them wanting to target Allie w our F4 deal and Luca. I don't want that. Allie's shady and she betrayed me but at the end of the day she's also a number for me and Willow moving forward. RTP wants to work with me. For the first time ever in this game, LA hit ME up instead of me having to approach her. I think I can work with Luca. Lex, though... she gotta go. She doesn't benefit me at all, she's a former winner, she's done nothing in this game ever to make me feel good with her... her ass gotta be grass. Voting out Allie eliminates an out, and a potential endgame plan, for myself, which would allow Aro/Zak/Luca to become a F3 deal should they want to. A F5 of our F4 and Willow does not look good for me ! So I'd want the rest of the game to shake out something like this: 9th - Lex; 8th - LA; 7th - RTP; 6th - Luca; 5th - Zak; 4th - Allie, leaving a F3 of myself, Willow, and Aro, which I'd like to think I can win. Letting Allie get deep into this game is a risk but I'm willing to take it because the composition of the jury combined with her seeming desire to go to the end with me both prove good to my overall game. It's within reach, if I can just hold on to it. For the first time... maybe I could fucking win.

So here's a recap of what happened last round. - Me, Zak, Mitchell and Willow form a plan to get the majority to split the votes 3-3 so that we can put 4 votes on Johnny - We had no idea if they were 100% going to split or not but King Johnny comes to our aid because he decides to form the same exact plan but with  4 votes on Allie instead - We chose Johnny over Allie because he was the leader of the rookies alliance and with him gone most of them are free agents

This round *should* be fine, with Zak's flare and Willow on our side for good (hopefully) we have 5 votes for sure. They're planning on voting Allie and also working on turning Luca so hopefully they dont have an idol rip. I know this might come off as cocky since its only final 9, but I've been thinking about endgame a lot ever since tribal. I'm 100% confident that Willow will win any final 3 but I genuinely wouldn't mind going to the end with Zak and Mitchell because they're awesome folks aaaand they're kiiiinda getting cocky so it might give me a shot to win. Willow is amazing too but she's too big of a threat so if we get to the end she would have to go at 4 or 5

if i go home bc i played myself into not fuckin spelling reservoir correctly i'm gonna fuckin punch johnny frat boy in the face when i get to ponderosa

I'm a terrible person, I keep forgetting Luca is still in this game and I work with him. But, I mean anyone who reads my confessionals should know I'm a terrible and salty af person. Also i think the rum actually gave me a hangover, apparently bourbon and 151 doesn't mix, who knew? And I just did the immunity challenge and completely fucked up, I got a big zero, there is a reason I try never to spell anything out loud, I need to see things written. [sos]

https://youtu.be/coM4svs6ydY

LMAO I FUCKED UP THAT CHALLENGE SO BAD. I'm just really hoping other people messed up on the first word bc I don't wanna be the only one who got zero, thats embarassing. The second after I said "drout" I was like wait shit thats wrong its spelt "drought" oops!

This challenge will probably be my most shameful moment of TS, a fucking zero, I'm still not over it. But with Mitchell winning immunity there goes the main person i wanted out, which could be a good thing cause it made me rethink. I think Willow needs to go, I was so worried about Allie being a middle man between Lex and Willow that I overlooked Willow may be the real threat here. When she started gunning for Lex I just assumed it was because she was worried Allie might pick Lex over her cause they seemed so tight, but after that vote she was with Mitchell's group, and the same with Jacob's vote. Once, it can pass by as nothing but twice? and on the vote that blindsided Johnny, she's more in with that group than I thought. If I happen to be right about this, then this is our last chance to weaken their side before they get majority and I'm totally fucked because Mitchell and I might talk and get along but I think him saying he wants to work with me is 100% fake and he's just playing the game and there is no way I even make F5 with him. The biggest problem I see right now is Allie. She is the vote I really need to get to pull this off, and I'm not sure if she'll flip on Willow or not.

(a little bit later)

So apparently I freaked out Allie this morning, with coming to her about voting Willow. MY BAD. She doesn't wanna vote Willow, which I can understand, Willow has been her person throughout the game. I knew trying to flip her was a long shot but I figured I should try anyways. But I was able to make her question their relationship, since Willow has been leaving her out of plans lately. I feel like tribal is gonna be mess, but let's see how this goes~

Why do I have a funny feeling either me or Zak is gonna get idold out tonight

All day it seemed too goddamn good to be true. It looked like Lex was going to be 7 votes out, but then fucking willow and zak and aro had to be paranoid!! And IDK EUFHEWUEidsz WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE SAYING OR DOING!!!! Granted, I don't think Lexi has an idol or would play it if she does; and I CAN think that, since I have immunity and my neck is on the line. But they're fucking going CRAZY overboard with counter measures that would send Allie home anyways???? Even if Lex didn't have an idol????? This vote is gonna be so fukcing messy bc everyone in my alliance can't just sit STILL. jesus christ i still hope it'll be 7 votes lex or maybe 5 votes lex 2 votes allie but like... i don't fuckin get it. these kids are so dumb.

I'm fairly confident someone's lying or an idol is being played tonight and I'm gonna be packing my bags at tribal. Like... I've done so much work in this game and I'm not ready to go and this seems like such a simple vote but so did the vote when everyone was lying to me and Matt was voted out. Oh my godddd I'm not in the mood to get 9th place!!! I might have to pull out my flare tonight and we might have to flip the vote last minute because this Lexi puta probably has a fucking idol and she's voting me!!! I just really feel like something fishy is going on tonight and I'm not excited

I JUST MADE FUN OF PEOPLE FOR GETTING SPOOKED BUT NOW I'M SPOOKED TOO AND IDK WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

(a bit later)

OK SO FINAL TALLY BASED ON WORDS PEOPLE HAVE SAID: 5 ON LEX 2 ON LA 1 ON ARO 1 ON ZAK. WHAT I EXPECT: 5 ON LEX 2 ON LA 2 ON EITHER ARO OR ZAK. DO I EXPECT TO GET FUCKED?????????????/ YEEEEEEEEEES FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEES BUT I GOT IMMUNITY ZAK GOT A FLARE IF AN IDOL COME OUT A FLARE COME OUT WE GOTTA RISK IT FOR THE BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISCUIT LET'S DAAAAAAAAAAAANCE

[5/4/17, 9:07:12 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: I heard the vote was gon be for aro [5/4/17, 9:07:17 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: if ur down for that?? 

On 5/4/17, at 9:09 PM, lex wrote: > Hi my vote it for zak (selfie) i really do love making big moves. i would like to thank ryan la luca and allie for making my shadiness possible this round. it really means a lot to my soul. this round started off pretty chill considering someone i thought was my biggest ally left in what has to be the weirdest tribal in quite a while. but johnny fucked himself up by targeting allie and i to the people we are closest to in the game? like did he honestly think we wouldnt find out... but i kept my mouth shut and pretended i did not know what he was doing cause if there is one thing i have learned in this game its to never plan shit at the last second cause its not going to end well for anyone. so he left and everyone was like yes we love each other hooray great hair babe but that all changed when the willow monster attacked. BUT IM SAfE AND I HAVE YET NEEDED AN IDOL! WOOOO PALAWAN ME WOULD NEVER!