#it i couldnt rememwbr for sure and i didnt know where to look

[asexualzoro]

strawhat pirates from least to most dramatic.

i’m supposed to be making a presentation that i‘m showing tomorrow which will determine whether or not i graduate high school, so of course i made this instead. this is mostly based on fight scene dramatics, and the rankings were fleshed out with @ayotofu

- Luffy. though it might seem a surprise, Luffy is the least dramatic strawhat pirate. this is purely a matter of intent; Luffy very rarely takes action with the intent of being dramatic, it’s only an after effect. though sometimes he does things to be cool, he rarely does anything for the Drama of it all. most of the time he does something because it’s fun, or because he needs a stronger move. even if he does have his moments—jumping out of the cake in wci is the first to come to mind—his crew’s purposeful drama just outweighs his own

- Jinbei. originally i was going to put him below Luffy, as he’s a very straight laced man (for a strawhat pirate) but that thing he did toasting Big Mom at her wedding was definitely for the drama of it and i Loved that. he might be higher when we see more of him, though.

- Chopper. again, dramatic but not usually on purpose. his many forms give him a lot of theatrics, and especially the suspense he regularly builds around monster point... i’ll give him points for that, though unfortunately he loses drama by getting more control on his shapeshifting abilities. there’s no drama in lowering the stakes!

- Robin. she gets hella points for her time as Miss All Sunday, as she was a very dramatic villain, but as a strawhat she isn’t as dramatic. she’s sorta mellowed out now that she doesn’t have to be scary to protect herself. still that first firey introduction gets her points. also, not telling Luffy his brother was alive so Sabo could have the reveal? points for being a drama ally

- Nami. she’s pretty middle of the road on drama. she can be incredibly dramatic when she wants to be—i’m thinking of what she pulled with the vivre card in wci—but unfortunately she loses out to some of her more showy crewmates. love her weather report routine and her mirage tempo

- Zoro. Zoro comes across to me as more extra than dramatic. extra is cool like sunglasses, dramatic is cool like classy. as these are very similar, he still gets up high. for example, cutting a ship in half bc you got on the wrong one and telling the crew you ruining their lives was for fate? that’s drama baby! but growing a bunch of limbs and heads and shit? that’s extra. his fight speeches are also extra. there’s a Difference. Zoro also loses points bc he didn’t want to tell anyone abt taking Luffy’s pain at Thriller Bark.

- Sanji. his fucking fight speeches. that’s it. the extended cooking metaphors, though more cheesy than anything, are definitely for the drama of it all. his smoking and firey attacks are dramatic as hell. also that one time he pulled out kitchen knives on the train and just, knew how to use them somehow? that’s cool. that’s Drama™ he also gets points for that big fucking cape in wci

- Usopp. fantastic storytelling, Usopp spells, Sogeking, Usoland, God Usopp. Usopp is a man with a flair for the dramatic, and it shows in all his fights. it’s hard to say you don’t have fun with him! however, he isn’t usually dramatic for the sake of drama, it’s usually for the sake of overcompensating for what he believes he lacks. leaving and rejoining the crew also gets him points bc that was highly dramatic as well, also makes me sad

- Brook. this is a man dramatic for the sake of drama! someone dramatic in true dramatic fashion! he’s a popstar and a musician, he knows how to command a stage! his speech 2yl at sabaody, his festival music attack, the way he led Giolla and! his! own! crew! on so he could get his sword back from being turned into art, soul king!!! (this definitely started as a special effect for concerts you won’t change my mind) this is drama for drama! that’s what this shit is about!

- Franky. keeping in mind the extra/dramatic distinction made previously, id say Franky is more extra than Dramatic. however he is SO extra that he falls into dramatic also. everything he does is for one very specific aesthetic, and i respect that. he labeled his own body the same way he labeled the sort of ships that killed his father figure, which i think is incredibly metal. he’s got lasers just to be cool! he plays up the robot thing for kids! he even turned his nose into a button to change his hairstyle at will! what puts Franky above even Brook, who is drama for drama, is that Franky also does a lot of dramatic shit for absolutely no purpose. all of Brook’s Drama For Drama also has the bonus of another effect, but Franky? a bunch of his drama is functionally useless. his “centaur legs” !! his “tracking missiles,” which not only “tracked” people by him following them around but also DISLOCATED HIS SHOULDER!! General Franky, which basically only makes him taller and cooler! even people on panel were shocked that the gun was literally just him!! that’s extra! that’s ridiculous! that’s useless! that’s DRAMA!!!