#it leaves so much shenanigans to speculate about its funny

[othercrossee]

tbh the idea of irida slowly just become the diamond crew friend over the period of the game is hilarious, she was MOVING

[davids-cartoon-corkboard]

Here’s the final part of the “Raph is a system” theory compilation post! It’s the last of what I can scrape up from canon; while I still have ideas on how it might loop back into character interactions and plot and so on, they’re much more speculative in nature. (Part 1 is here) (Part 2 is here) (You’re reading Part 3)

---

"Red” is the alter with the least screen time, so it took a while for me to connect the dots on when and why he formed.

His shadowed face, the dramatic background music when he speaks, and his seriousness are reminiscent of the “brooding on rooftops in the rain while gloomily staring off into the distance” thing that Raphs throughout the franchise will do sometimes. That’s easy to poke fun at on a superficial level because most of us look back on our edgy phases with self-deprecation, but it’s a lot less funny in the context of the life he lives. Being a normal human teenager in normal human society is a fucking nightmare; being a mutant teenager who has no idea what to expect in terms of development or lifespan, only five people he can safely interact with ever, and a very limited future hiding from everyone else for as long as he lives has got to be just awful.

RR’s few lines in “Pizza Puffs” tell us a lot. “It’s the only way they’ll learn” and “this is for their own good” suggest that he formed when the turtles started exploring more of the sewers and going aboveground, and Being The Leader became more of a responsibility. A thousand new ways for them to get in trouble meant a thousand new ways Raph would have to bail them out, and that got old fast- especially since they didn’t have April’s knowledge to help them in the beginning. I doubt they met her the very first time they left the sewers. The wiki says April knew the boys for five years as of “Mystic Mayhem”, so they would have been nearly eight at the time, perhaps the mental equivalent of a ten- or eleven-year-old human.

A while back I sifted through all the eps with Raph in them in the vague hopes that “Pizza Puffs” wasn’t the only episode featuring RR... and lo and behold, I found something! The shadowed face and dramatic background music are also present in “Minotaur Maze”!

“I can’t do it. I got no mystic mojo. I’m useless.”

“Hey, that’s not true, brother. You just gotta believe in yourself, and know this: If I die in this maze, I will haunt you for the rest of your life.”

(I know that’s only two data points, but y’all canonically cannot scoff at me.) RR shows up when HR is no longer able to tolerate the bullshit at hand. “I’m not going to baby you Leo, get your shit together before your ego kills us all” was a reasonable response to nearly being shish-kebab’d.

“Pizza Puffs”, on the other hand... LDM pulled through in the end, but that RR got HR to stay behind added an unnecessary level of risk. Getting his brothers to learn a lesson should have waited until after the giant mutant cannibal had been dealt with and they were no longer poisoned.

This hands-off “figure it out on your own” approach probably came from Splinter. I swear to Pizza Supreme In The Sky I’m not trying to shit-talk him, but his lack of involvement with his sons was a major flaw. Before all that character development he was terrible at things like “emotional support” and “life lessons”, leaving Raph without the blueprints to deal with a lot of problems. HR would respond by rushing in and figuring things out as he went, but sometimes RR would have to say “No, we’re maxed out and can’t deal with this, we’ve gotta step back”. As we’ve seen in other iterations, when Raph is maxed out and doesn’t step back...

...he goes too far. Plenty of folks have commented on how rarely the Rise turtles smack each other around compared to other versions; it’s telling that RR spoke up just a moment after HR smacked Mikey in “Pizza Puffs”.

Raph is much bigger and stronger than his brothers this time around, meaning such an outburst would have a much higher risk of Genuine Grievous Injury. And while his size and strength also mean a measure of gentleness has been baked into him since day one, there would still be times HR would feel himself boiling over and RR would head off somewhere quiet for fear of the above situation; which was potentially alluded to in “Hot Soup: The Game”.

“You went out on your own when you were his age.”

The context of “Man vs. Sewer” suggests Raph isn’t going to go off on his own without very good reason- such as cooling down before he does something he regrets. That this detail shows up in Casey’s debut episode suggests it is how they will properly meet and bond, since befriending Casey and doing vigilante shit with him is what usually gives Raph a way to blow off steam while having someone nearby to keep him in check. But that probably won’t happen until partway through season 3, since I doubt we can cram the rest of Casey’s redemption arc into the movie alongside the invasion and time travel trauma shenanigans and leader drama. So in the meantime RR will continue to brood on rooftops in bad weather and listen to Ephemerality songs and monologue to himself because he knows nobody’s going to hear him over the incessant background noise that makes up the cities above and below.

I was a bit stumped about how that meeting would take place- the events of the finale (and possibly also the movie) would no doubt have both the human and yokai populations on high alert, making it dangerous for RR to slip away for some peace and quiet. But the events of the finale also gave us some insight on Raph’s powers; he has a way to leave without actually leaving!

Hardlight Clone Jutsu, baby!

So whenever HR finds himself in a particularly sour mood, a wisp of power winds its way up through the open-air portion of the lair and forms into a clone aboveground. HR doesn’t have to leave for a while to cool down before coming back and dealing with the situation calmly, because RR is already on a rooftop somewhere dissipating those bad feelings by listening to the rain and/or yeeting trash cans.

But mutants can’t freely walk the streets of New York, and the Hidden City Police probably still have it out for Raph. And someone, hero or villain, will eventually realize that Raph has a gloomy stray clone running around and ask questions that can’t be answered without cracking open the can of worms that is This Whole Situation. RR needs to get creative. That we’ve seen clones have both full color and the basic red/white palette suggests their color could be altered in other ways; and that the holo-form grew extra arms in the lair fight vs. the Shredder suggests their shape could also be changed further.

So what will he choose to look like, if not his body?

Obviously he’ll use a red and black color palette because it slaps, leaning more towards black since I compared him to Batman back in Part 1. A low-detail design makes it hard to identify him, giving onlookers the impression that they just couldn't see him well in the dark. Mentally filing down his spikes and decreasing the curve of his shell are easy enough, but it takes him a while to figure out five fingers instead of three, and there’s not much he can do about his voice other than lowering the pitch so he just opts to not talk much within earshot of others. A cape further disguises his silhouette and again, it slaps. The impression of a mask means he doesn’t need a face and it lets peoples’ assumptions work for him. Humans are more likely to think he’s human than a Very Human-Shaped Mutant, and yokai come in so many shapes as is that he could be anything from a witch to a dehydrated googlyschmootz.

(You know how it is with franchises. Old patterns repeating in new ways.)

New York City never sleeps, and I doubt the Hidden City does either. He’ll run into Casey eventually, but in the interim he stumbles across and intervenes in some attempted purse-snatchings and kidnappings and the like. Most of the would-be victims use his arrival as their chance to escape, but one of them is too frozen with fear to move until their attackers are chased off into the dark. He escorts them home, and it’s only once they’re at their doorstep that they work up the courage to ask him who he is.

It’s... a difficult question, in more ways than one. “Raph” is out of the question. “Red” isn’t quite right, and neither is “Angel”- they’re a tad too identifying still, and the R.A.P.H. thing was HR’s idea anyway. So he shrugs, and melts away into the shadows.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m Nobody.”

[readwithmichelle]

Books I Read in June

Sorry for the lateness of this one - holidays and other shenanigans got in the way of me finishing this write up. Anyway -  For the Month of June I’ve read Ninth House, Gideon the Ninth, The Last Temptations of Iago Wick, and The Empress of Salt and Fortune.  

Ninth House is now my third Leigh Bardugo book. This one is her adult fiction series - and it is reflected in the content. Ninth House is much more harrowing than her young adult titles. Alex is the survivor of a multiple homicide, and no one knows how. She’s tapped to go to Yale on a full ride on account of her ability: Alex can see ghosts. So now she’s plunged into the world of Yale and it’s Secret Societies, where she fulfills the role of accountability for these Secret Societies. In this book, magic is not some beautiful flowing thing. It’s gritty. Characters are up to their elbows in gristle and bones and flesh. It’s gross. Alex’s backstory too, is quite horrifying. The Ghosts she can see are horrifying. It’s a roller coaster of uncomfortable storytelling, but at the same time I was completely hooked - I wanted to know where this story would go desperately. Ninth House is essentially a procedural mystery novel, not necessarily a fantasy like her previous novels, though fantasy elements are present. The plot of the book revolves around several crimes, all of which have to be solved by the end. There is the murder that Alex survived, Darlington’s disappearance, the death of the Bridegroom and his Bride, and the death of Tara. All of these incidents have strings that lead all the way to the end of the book in an explosive end that reveals the truth of it all.  Ultimately, this is probably one of my favorite adult fiction books that I’ve read. Leigh Bardugo is a masterful writer, and I found myself on the edge of my seat with this one, too. Watch out for this one, folks.  Also, a warning - a LOT of content of this book would be considered triggering. Several horrifying things happen, so enter at your own risk.  5/5 Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir was the next book I read in June - though I started it in May. Boy, this one was a bit of a slog fest. That is perhaps a fault of my own, and not necessarily that of the author’s or the book’s, though. I’m really not into speculative fiction/science fiction at all -  I recently went through my Good Reads shelves and realized that I’ve read less than 10 science fiction novels in my entire life. They just do not appeal to me - and it’s for a reason that Gideon the Ninth falls into as well - the book intentionally obfuscates for about 150 pages - it’s majority of the time an info dump about the technology of the universe that has been crafted for the story. I don’t enjoy that - in fact every time I run into it I can feel my eyes glazing over and boredom setting in. That was largely why I ended up putting it aside to read other books first. Once I came back to it, however, it was still a slog for a bit before the story actually began to pick up.  The story follows Gideon Nav, who is a disgruntled indentured servant of the Ninth House - one of the nine necromantic houses in the galaxy that serve an undying Necro-Lord Emperor. She is forced to become the Prime Cavalier of her house in aid to the Reverend Daughter - Harrowhark Nonagesimus, who is the strongest necromancer the house has ever produced. She and Gideon, however, have a past - they absolutely hate each other. The nine houses of the galaxy have been called to the first house, and all of them are to participate in a contest to see who can become a Lyctor - basically a suped up Necromancer in service to the Emperor. That’s basically the gist of the main plot - there’s also a bit of a murder mystery that takes place because necromancers and cavaliers start dropping like flies, but the core of the story is the interpersonal relationship between Gideon and Harrow. It’s a decent enemies to lovers trope done well - though I would argue they don’t actually become lovers at all - merely come to an understanding about their own pasts. Their relationship can be very much defined as toxic co-dependence.  Ultimately the story was alright - I wasn’t very wow-ed by it, as the world building felt extremely thin, though I did find the necromancy aspect interesting. Gideon and Harrow are both interesting characters on their own, but ultimately the story wasn’t extremely gripping for me. My biggest gripe of it all, however, is that I never found out what exactly the Emperor was fighting against. What is the great threat to the existence of the galaxy that makes Gideon dream to be a part of it, what necessitates the Lyctor trials even being called once more? I never found that out.  3/5 After that I decided to breeze through some smaller books - if they can even be called books at some times.  The next book I tackled was The Last Temptations of Iago Wick - it’s a self published book by Jennifer Rainey, and follows two demons working for Hell in 19th century New England. It has a bit of a steam punk flare, though it’s not hugely present, and is whip crackling funny. It very much reads like a Good Omens alternative universe fanfiction that got tweaked for publication, but honestly, that doesn’t bother me because it’s simply that enjoyable.  Iago is to be promoted into essentially a regional manager in the efforts of Hell against the forces of Heaven. He specializes as a Tempter - creating Faustian Bargains after Bargains with finesse and panache. His partner in his efforts and in his Demonic life is one Dante Lovelace, a “Catastrophe Artist” who specializes in mass mayhem and death. He is described as Byronic and gloomy, with taxidermied animals all over his apartment. Iago and Dante’s relationship is so refreshing - they are queer without fanfare. There is only passing references to period typical homophobia, but their relationship is sweet and presented without drama and trauma.  Iago’s current assignments are to essentially take down the Order of the Scarab - a secret society pulling the strings in Marlowe, who have murdered and bribed and intimidated in order to further their own ends, but a demon hunter stands in his way of accomplishing his goal.  The book has some interesting segments about free will, the nature of Heaven and Hell, which if you know me I’m wont to eat up eagerly. This book was a nice change of pace after the frustrations of Gideon.  4/5 The final book I read for the month was The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo. This is more of a novella than an actual to goodness novel, but it was extremely satisfying and well done. This was the book that made me go “well maybe a book doesn’t have to be 200 pages to convey a proper story.” I don’t want to give too much of this book away, as I feel it is an experience that needs to be truly embraced blindly. It reads much like a kind of flowing, poetic prose, however, and the overarching theme of the novel is primarily that of the vengeance and rage of women against an unjust world. I highly recommend this one as a breeze read, though if you are anything like me it will leave you more than a bit emotionally compromised after.  5/5 For the month of July I have mostly taken a break for the first few weeks, just enjoying some time to myself. I have read the first season of Lore Olympus and that will be included in my July write up, but for July I intend to take some time to decompress and deal with wedding planning. I still hope to read a few books though, and my July list is The Vine Witch by Luanne G. Smith, The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones, and Merchants of Milan by Edale Lane. I actually began The Vine Witch in June but it has not exactly kept me riveted to its pages, so hopefully I can finally slog through it.  See y’all at the end of the month! 

[softforcal]

Can you do a Luke x opener continuation?? I loved it so much

Luke x Opener!Reader

Poly, Cal, Ash, Michael

-you’re an rising performer and they saw you live once while creating their new album and all fell in love with your voice on the spot

-they convince management that they want you as their opener because you’re amazing

-when your management approaches you about it, of course you say yes and soon after that you’re following all of 5sos on insta and they’re following you

-they want to get to know you pre tour to see if you’re chill, it will be easier to tour together if you’re all buds

-so you go meet up with them at Cal’s house and spend the whole day getting to know each other

-they’re all super cool and you find yourselves all laughing and chilling next to the pool having a great time

-they show you some of their new songs and you all end up having an impromptu singing and dancing party

-yeah, its going to be a great tour

-you have to leave and they all offer to drive you home but you have it covered

-as soon as you’re gone they’re all just like “wow.” “yeah, she’s an angel.”

-they make a group chat with you in it and you all talk a bunch before the tour starts

-meeting up with them whenever you can

-Ashton convinces you to go to yoga

-you go walk Cal’s dog with him

-Michael getting you to create fortnite so you can play with him and Luke

-the first day of tour arrives and you show up to the airport only to be sneak attacked by Ashton who was totally waiting for you, he’d really want you to feel included and welcome

-getting to the plane and you go to sit by yourself but then Michael just comes and sits next to you and smiley, and he’s like “are you ready for tour?!” and he’s just a ray of absolute sunshine

-they all kind of take turns sitting next to you because the flight is so long

-you end up falling asleep on Luke’s shoulder and they’re all just like “oh my god she’s so cute.”

-Luke doesn’t let anyone wake you

-usually the opener would travel in a different van and tour bus but they really want to ‘include’ you so you end up being in their van most of the time and you sleep on the other tour bus but you’re in their bus most of the time

-your first show you go out there and you have an amazing set, as you get off the stage the guys all pull you into a huge hug to tell you how amazing you were

-getting to watch them preform and they are brilliant

-hanging out after the concert in a back stage room laughing and talking about the tour

-singing with them

-going over their note changes with them

-can you imagine singing with Calum and Luke and they both just adore your voice

-Michael trying to teach you how to play guitar if you don’t know how to already

-Cal trying to teach you to play bass

-And Ashton letting you dick around with his drums

-going out after concerts to look at the city

-you always get cold and one of them always ends up giving you their jacket

-or one of them offers to hug you to keep you warm

-Michael gives the best fucking hugs but Cal is a close second

-its because Michael is a lil squish okay!?! don’t fight me on this

-all of you taking pictures of each other and being able to freely post them because you’re their opener and its the cutest thing ever

-everyone speculating that you might be dating one of them

-taking cheeky photos where you’re kissing one of their cheeks or their kissing yours and everyone flips out

-spending entire bus rides in their bus goofing off and laughing and having a great time

-when you leave to go to your own bus for the night they spend at least an hour usually talking about the cute things you did while with them

-one night you’re in the chill area with them watching a movie and you fall asleep cuddled against Calum

-none of them want to move to wake you up so they all sleep there

-waking up next to these four guys, you all having moved at some time during the night and you’re just a cuddle blob

-pre concert rituals together with huge group hugs

-helping Luke put glitter on before a show because “more glitter!”

-sometimes they bring you on stage to sing with them as an encore

-you and Luke just have such vocal chemistry

-”and can we give it up for our angel and opening act, Y/N!”

-so many hugs

-group dogpiles after the show

-you all write songs together and bounce ideas off of each other

-harmonizing together

-tapping out beats together

-running around cities and usually one of them grabs your hand and starts running and then you’re all running around looking at stuff

-Cal and Ashton are huge fans of carrying you when you get tired

-getting shipped with all of them

-the five of you looking at the ship names and laughing then picking favourites

-so every guys favourite ship name is their own name with yours? what a fucking coincidence eh?

-they all ask your favourite ship name and you’re just like…… “uhhhhhh….”

-refusing to choose

-it would honestly be such a mess because it’s not like you don’t know they’re into you but its hard to choose because they’re all hella

—————————————————————–Luke con’t here

-so on tour there are also a lot of interviews the guys have to do

-you usually don’t have to do any interviews which is great, you can just spend the day looking around

-one day you get a phone call from Luke, they’re all set to do this super low key interview that they doubt will get much coverage and he has no idea where the other three are and no one is answering their phones except you and the interviewer suggested if you were available you could go because you’re their opener and they could talk about tour life from an outside perspective

-your management sends you a message and they think its a good idea so before you know it, you’re going and meeting Luke for an interview

-the interview starts kinda funny because you’re all laughing about how three members of 5sos are just MIA but you must be the new 5th member

-the interviewer is actually super sweet about it and its obvious that she’s just coming up with questions because obviously she had made questions for the group of guys but can’t use them anymore cuz they aint there

-”so give us an inside look on what it’s like to be on tour with four giant Aussie men?”

-”oh my god it’s the worst.” you joke, Luke pushing you with a grin, “no it’s great, they’re all super great guys.”

-talking about what it’s like to practice vocals with Luke and if there’s a possibility of there ever being an actual duet that might be released

-”i’d be down to write one. Y/N’s a lyrical genius.” Luke grins

-talking about tour shenanigans

-the other three boys showing up ten minutes in, breathless and with dead phones

-they swap in for you and complete their interview

-but the interviewer asks if it’s okay if she posts both interview videos separately

-management agrees

-its a decent interview and you’re not worried because management assured you it’s a super low key interview company and because it’s the two of you it probably wont get as many views as a normal interview would

-so management is wrong

-the interview blows up online

-for very good reason

-every time you speak Luke just looks at you with the most complete adoration and you hadn’t even noticed

-watching a gif of it because holy fuck how could you have not noticed? well, you were looking at the interviewer so it makes sense

-but holy shit this boy has heart eyes

-you never really know how someone feels about you until you see how they look at you when you’re not looking i guess

-you’re at the hotel later that night, you havent seen Luke since the interview

-you have no idea if he’s seen the frenzy on twitter, your ship name is trending and its mayhem

-you’d always kinda guessed that the band all had sorta crushes on you but the way Luke had been looking at you wasnt a simple crush

-there’s a knock at your door and of course when you open it, its Luke

-”hey, uh, can i come in?” he seems kind of nervous, you’re nervous too, i mean how do you even deal with this situation?

-you’re his opener and you’re not even half way into tour, if this goes bad, it will be very bad

-”i wrote some stuff i wanted you to take a look at.” he says, pulling out his phone and opening the app he keeps all his new lyrics on

-the two of you get comfortable and you take his phone and begin to read

-they’re love songs. really good love songs about passion and the inability to make a move and you start to realize little details about the person the speaker is talking about are little things about you

-”what do you think?” he asks nervously

-”i think whoever these are about is a really lucky girl.” i mean, you’re not just going to assume they’re about you because if you’re wrong you’re fucked

-Luke sighs, “you’re going to make me say it arent you?” “what do you mean?” “they’re about you.”

-”oh thank god!” you laugh, closing the space between the two of you so your lips can meet his

-the two of you crash onto the bed with you on top and you both giggle, lips meeting again

-when you pull away and red your forehead against his, just taking in the happiness, his fingers rub small circles on the bit of exposed skin on your waist

-”you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to kiss you.” he breathes ”was it everything you dreamed of?” “better… i want to take you on a date. a proper date. just you and me. have you eaten yet?”

-the two of you decide to go out for dinner, a late dinner but still

-he holds your hand as the two of you walk

-”Luke should we worry about Paparazzi?” “the entire internet already thinks we’re dating… unless you don’t want to hold my hand?”

-gripping his hand tighter

-you’re already such great buds its like almost any other night, except its just you and him (usually at least one of the others tags along)

-and then his hand goes to cover yours on the table and you melt

-so much laughing

-”i’m so glad those dumb asses missed that interview.”

-he insists on paying

-as you’re leaving the restaurant you get papped a bunch but Luke tries to shield you to the best of his abilities

-ending with the two of you running down dark streets like mischievous children to escape the cameras

-him pulling you into a dark alleyway to kiss you as he presses you against the wall

-”wow Hemmings, you know how to sweep a girl off her feet.” “Princesses are meant to be swept off their feet so it’s only natural.” (ok he would not say this, like straight up he wouldnt, but let me live okay. fuck ya’ll i’m soft and a girl can dream of a guy being this squishy okay?)

-running your fingers through his curls

-the two of you getting back to the hotel and as you’re walking down your hallway to your separate rooms, Cal, Michael and Ashton’s doors all open to stare at you two

-”so how was the date?” “do you two need condoms?” “Luke you’re a walking meme again.”

-like yeah they were all into you, yeah you’re gorgeous, but Luke went for it and you’re obviously reciprocating and bros before hoes, man, they gon support their tall bean friend

-”could you guys give us a bit of space?” Luke laughs but he’s serious

-they all kinda begrudgingly close their eyes as Luke walks you to your door, “see you in the morning?” “yeah we’re bussing to the next city.” “just making sure you’re not getting on the next plane or something.”

-soft boy being worried because he can’t believe it’s real

-reaching up and kissing him again

-he goes from soft to hardcore in an instant, his body pinning you against the wall as his hand cups your face and his other goes to your waist

-whistles erupting through the hallways because of course those nosy fucks opened their doors again to see if Luke got a goodnight kiss

-blushing as you hide in your apartment, giving Luke a quick peck before closing the door

-tour continues sort of like normal

-going on stage is kinda weird now because the fans definitely know you and Luke are trying it out

-you and Luke try to find more time alone

-lots of cute short dates when you can find the time

-holding hands on the tour bus

-he invites you to chill in his bunk for a bit one night and you both just talk about lyrics and vocals until you fall asleep

-waking up the next morning to the rest of the boys teasing you and Luke

-you’ve been dating a while and you’re both anxiously awaiting the next time you get to stay at a hotel because like… there’s been some close calls in hallways and on his bunk but he wants your first time to be somewhere you won’t get interrupted

-and the sexual tension is as thick as smoke

-like the boys don’t even want to be around the two of you

-because you and Luke are just looking at each other with such hungry eyes

-Luke getting kinda weird when any of the other guys are doing cute things with you…. like, Ashton had his arm over your shoulders and Luke growled.

-everyone knows that your casual dating is reaching something more

-the day arrives and you have the longest concert of your life before you all pack into a van to go to the hotel

-the van is silent. you all know what’s about to happen let’s be serious

-”so…. my condom offer still stands.”

-”shut up Michael!”

-as soon as the van stops Luke grabs your hand and the two of you practically run into the hotel and up to your rooms, the door isnt even closed and his lips are on yours.

-first time with Luke when you’re his opener is pent up and needy because you’ve both been waiting for a while and patience is not this boys best feature

-hands are everywhere

-clashing teeth

-laughter

-tearing clothes

-not wanting to have your lips away from each other for that long

-lots of whining and moaning

-grinding

-the two of you finally get on the bed and he pulls away, “Luke-” you try to protest but he just brushes his fingers softly against your face, “give me a moment to just look at you. you’re so beautiful.”

-his fingers gently roaming your body

-its like the eye of the storm. a few moments of him just cherishing you and being so soft

-”Luke i need you.”

-and then he’s back at making you moan so loudly you’re sure the others arent going to get any sleep

-i feel like he’d spend a lot of time worshipping your body with his fingers and mouth

-yeah, at least one orgasm before he’s even actually inside of you

-he works you up until you’re begging him for it before he actually goes inside of you

-staying still for a moment, his fingers brushing over your face again

-then he just goes ham fam,

-i feel like he’d really be down for first time missionary with someone he actually loves

-having access to his beautiful, broad back and shoulders

-scratching him up

-”fuck you’re so pretty!”

-a super intense orgasm lets be serious

-both of you just lying next to each other after, his arm around you as you both stare at the ceiling.

-”i love you.”

-”i love you too Hemmings.”

-okay i just killed myself. sorry fam. i’m dead. i like need a second.

-waking up next to each other

-going for breakfast with Ashton and Calum the next morning and they’re both just grinning hard core. “where’s Michael?” “still sleeping, he’s the one who had a room next to yours last night.”

-so much hand holding

-long sweet kisses before you go on stage

-singing your love songs and having to fight the urge to look at Luke who’s watching you from side stage

-kissing him before it’s his turn to go on

-the band all making grossed out noises whenever you two kiss but you know they’re all soft for you and Luke

-Ashton sending you a bunch of pictures of you and Luke for “when you wanna make it official on the Gram.”

-you and Luke agreeing to each choose your favourite picture and post it at the same time without showing each other so it’s a surprise

-you both choose the same picture because you’re #that couple

-fans go wild. i mean, they knew, but its like official now

-interviewers everywhere want you to start doing interviews with the band because you’re their opener and you’re dating Luke?

-so many cute pictures of the two of you

-i love this concept. i mean. i love 5sos opener concepts but like, Luke is bae.

-Luke singing Valentine to you all the time

-he sings it while grabbing your face and kissing you

-lots of quickies wherever you can but it’s always amazing because you’re like so in love

-Michael refusing to sleep in the room next to yours when ya’ll get a hotel

-the boys switch each time

-you and Luke buying them ear plugs and then laughing your ass off about it

-Luke’s arm over your shoulders

-he’s very protective of you, especially in cities you’re visiting

-he buys you little presents from most of the cities you’re in

-chasing each other through arenas and venues

-yeah, if people hear giggles or screams they know it’s you and Luke messing around

-”have you seen Y/N?” “are the two of you playing sexy hide and seek again?” “no….”

-”how do you even play sexy hide and seek?” “trust me Cal, you don’t wanna know.”

-you and Luke getting so distracted before he goes on stage that sometimes Ashton has to like tear Luke away from you

-getting to help him take off those gorgeous on stage #looks

-just so soft fam. i am so soft.

[topweeklyupdate]

TØP Weekly Update #100: Centenary Celebration (6/21/19)

That’s right, guys, gals, and pals! We’ve made it to the hundredth installment of the TØP Weekly Update! And to honor that, we’re going to kick it back to the ol’ format and do a deep dive into all things Twenty One Pilots from the last seven days. Let’s get it!

This Week’s TØPics:

Spotify Location Sessions

Celebrating the Life of Blake Shelton

Is This Finally It For “Chlorine”’s Chart Time?

Reflections on 100 Updates

My TØP Discovery Story

Major Releases, News, and Announcements:

Sneaking in at the very end of the week, the band dropped a “Location Session” acoustic performance for “Chlorine” last night on all platforms. The latitude/longitude coordinates included in the title translate to the center of Mexico City. This could mean that the song was initially conceived in the city, or it could mean that this was where this version was recorded, perhaps during the private show they delivered a few weeks back. I find the latter more likely, particularly as the recent private show in Brooklyn already leaked some alternate arrangements to a few songs. But who knows? It could be part of a much bigger master plan. We’ll just have to see how the rest of these Sessions roll out- we’ve really been left in the dark on this one.

Interviews, Performances, and Other Shenanigans:

Really, the biggest piece of news from this week is that Josh Dun turned 31. This saw the expected outpouring of love for Debby Ryan and Tyler Joseph’s life partner online from friends, family, and fans. The best celebration for the fans, though, came to us onstage at the show in Birmingham, where Tyler not only agreed to lead everyone in singing “one of the worst songs ever” but offered a video tribute to the most important men born on June 18th- you know, Blake Shelton, Paul McCartney, Kendrick Lamar (almost) and the first Fast and Furious movie (Tyler thought this joke was so funny he lay down on the stage to laugh it out).

Never one to be left out of the spotlight, Tyler showed us a clearer picture of how Jenna has cleaned up their tour bus space, blew a kiss to a person with a pride flag during “Holding On To You”, and congratulated some fans who got engaged in the pit.

But wait, there’s more! We also got another press conference interview where Tyler talks about how to get inspired and his opinions on The Bachelorette, Josh discusses Jim vomiting up salt water, and they both talk about how they manage all the bags of money sitting around and who they’d want to sit on them if they were chairs (really). Another interview had Tyler speculate on snorting spaghetti, while another press conference saw the boys speculate on when “Trees” might leave the setlist (You hear that? That’s the sound of a million Clikkies crying out in terror at once.)

Chart Performance:

Sadly, the release of the Location Session will probably not be sufficient to save our girl “Chlorine”. After a random uptick in performance last week, “Chlorine” fell back down on Bubbling Under and on most chart metrics. This song’s been taking me on a real roller coaster that I think might finally be over.

Upcoming Shows:

Next week will see the Bandito Tour continue to wind through the United States, with shows in Houston (Toyota Center; 19,000 capacity), San Antonio (AT&T Center; 19,000), Austin (Frank Erwin Center, 17,900), Oklahoma City (Chesapeake Energy Arena, 16,500), and Memphis (FedEx Forum; 19,000). Then the week after that... well, we’ll talk about that tomorrow.

100th Update Retrospective:

It’s truly hard for me to wrap my head around how long I’ve been curating this little blog and all the ways that it has evolved and changed over the last three years. When I started the blog back in August 2016, it was really just a place to sort my thoughts about the band I loved more than any other for much longer than that. The first update still only has a single note, a reblog from my personal account, and I never really expected this blog to receive any more attention than that. The fact that this series persisted even when the Hiatus made it impossible to stick to its titular promise is remarkable, but not nearly as much as the fact that people actually care about what I have to say about these two dummies. I’m so grateful for everyone who has taken the time to read, share, and respond to even one of my ramblings.

To wrap up this update, I thought I’d share my story of how I discovered this band nearly six years ago. If you’re not here to hear some rando ramble about himself, feel free to move right along, but for the Real Ones who have been here for some time, let me catch you up to speed...

It was 2013, the summer after my junior year of high school, and I was absolutely miserable. Now, I tended to be miserable in general back then- I was a teenager struggling with depression, loneliness, and trauma- but I had a special reason to be on this particular week. I had gone to a church camp located on a lake that was nearly a full day’s drive from my house. On the first day of the trip, I slipped while climbing a cliff down by the shore and hit my back on a rock, pretty seriously injuring myself. I stubbornly refused to return home or go to a hospital, so I got bandaged up on site and spent the next three days laying out on the beach alone, watching everyone else have fun while I willed my back to heal. 

Since this was a nature retreat, my sole distraction in this time was a 50-song playlist made by one of the church leaders that looped on repeat in the same order for the entire week. With no choice but to actively listen to the lyrics to each of these songs, I grew to really dislike most of them. Yet two of those songs, both sung by a guy with a particularly interesting whine, stood out to me as especially interesting. The singer was talking about stuff I really could relate to, not just in this moment of loneliness but even more in my life back at home. This guy was talking about struggling with your own brain, about trying to find something greater than ourselves to hold on to, about how to turn your hands towards something constructive, about trying to find connection with others through music. Listening through the other 48 songs was worth it to get to those two.

I asked the counselor who wrote “Holding On To You” and “Guns For Hands”. He told me about this new band called Twenty One Pilots. And my life hasn’t been the same since.

Power to the local dreamer.

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