#ill talk about it after my works done i think about them tooooo much

[othercrossee]

tbh the idea of irida slowly just become the diamond crew friend over the period of the game is hilarious, she was MOVING

[happyendingsong]

aaaaaaaaaaaaa im tabling at dcc spring this weekend and ive done NOTHING for it so im gonna panic start a bunch of prints and not get anything finished as always

wwe 4hw print - closest to being finished, rough sketch, comparatively hopefully wouldn't be tooooo much work to finish? but less likely to gain traction at a dublin comic con (i know itll get SOME traction bc ppl have bought/talked about my asuka print before but otherwise idk)

kh train print - VERY rough sketch, looks like it'll be a complicated piece to finish, more likely to gain traction, i really really wanna have a big kh piece finished after the aqua portrait last year

harley quinn/birds of prey print - not started, the idea i have seems simple ish though and i think it'd gain traction

crj sword print - not started, idea seems simple enough but im the only one on planet earth who would want it

eizouken print - don't have an idea in mind but ill probably draw smth for it at some point

bubbline print - i just fucking need to have a bubbline print in my stock but i can never think of anything to draw for them sdkbsjfhejgjbag im the worst advtime lesbian in the world

PLEASE VOTE NOW ON YOUR PHONES

[legendofgrump]

awkwardarin replied to your post “awkwardarin replied to your post “4, 7, 10 you bet your ass I’m...”

*chanting* DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

You ask, I deliver. Here we gooooo~ (Also I’m going to shame you all I want SO)

As per request, I’ll answer all the asks (that I haven’t already) from the fanfic questions post, but it’s under a read more so I don’t literally kill everyone’s dashes. I’m so sorry in advance

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in? I mean, before I even knew what “fandom” meant, I was writing Twilight fanfiction, so I guess that counts. The first one I actively participated in was the Grump one haha

2. What is your latest fandom? Ouran High School Host Club, but again, if you want active participation, then I guess uhhh Night in the Woods?

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in? Definitely the Grump fandom!! I’ve met all the best people and 99% of my friends through this blog right here!

4. Answered

5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for? Uhh Twilight, Big Time Rush, Total Drama, Game Grumps, technically AntiPoppy but it’s not even close to done and not published

6. Answered

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9. What are the best things about your current fandom? I mean, for this fandom, like I said, it’s got all my friends in it. Everyone’s super supportive and there’s tons of opportunities to get involved and create stuff and support other creators! It’s probably one of the nicest communities I’ve been a part of.

10. Answered

11. Who is your current OTP? Currently I’m still heavily thinking about Hikaru and Haruhi from Ouran Host Club so that I guess haha

12. Who is your current OT3? The all time babes are Rubbercommanderbang. Also Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy is a ship that @cantolopejeevas made me think about and I love

13. Any NoTPs? Refer to this massive post

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs? Hikaru and Kaoru from Ouran, The entirety of the Teen Titans, the monks in Xiaolin Showdown, etc

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love? A n t i P o p p y

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike? I’m more or less indifferent toward Egobang if we’re gonna be real here. I just don’t feel like there’s anything I can add to it at this point.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite? I mean, before I knew what that meant, probably RaiKim from Xiaolin Showdown. And they’re still great, but now I’m a little gayer.

18. What ship have you written the most about? Ironically? Probably Egobang. I wasn’t so cynical about it when I first started haha

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them? Refer to number 16

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking? Hmm probably like Septibang? Or CommanderSeptiBang?? Those were two ships I just kinda stumbled upon and was like? Okay I guess we’re doing this now??

Also Mae and Selmers from Night in the Woods. Surprisingly wholesome.

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote? I think I mentioned this before, but it was self-insert Twilight fanfic. Honestly I wish I was just as shameless as I was in middle school. Writing Mary Sue self-insert fic where you ship yourself with a main character is fun and satisfying as hell.

22. Is there anything you regret writing? Aforementioned Twilight fanfiction. Though part of me doesn’t because it was my origin story and also, like I said, shameless and for fun.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it. Ahh probably either “You Monster,” which is like my best stuff that I’ve put up so far??? or the massive Big Time Rush fanfic I talk so much about just for the sheer size of it :P

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit? You Monster!!!! I’m gonna write a redux soon I promise.

25. What’s your most popular fanfic? ???? According to Archive, it’s You Monster! How nice~

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28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of? Literally anything??? I love all fanart of anything I make??? But I guess You Monster haha

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not? Hahaha no I don’t write enough to warrant having one. And also I literally almost never edit anything I write rip

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32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you? Depends!! Sometimes music really confuses my brain and makes me unable to think of words, especially if it’s really word-heavy music (which is most of what I listen to). If I’m really struggling, it usually helps to do it in silence so I can focus. But otherwise, I used to make little playlists of instrumental music to listen to, or play premade playlists of like study music or something.

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics? I really like writing huuuuge epics/multi-chapters but I’m really bad at finishing things ;--; so most of what gets published are requested one-shots/ficlets (one of which was requested the other day and I’M STILL T R Y I N G I SWEAR)

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic? Oh buddy. It’s over 100K.

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about? Uh I guess? But I’m not particularly stuck to the “required word count” for the different vocab. I usually only write really short things when people request stuff haha. But it’s kinda fun~

36. What’s your favourite genre to write? Probably just straight angst. Angst that develops character, specifically, but angst nonetheless.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why? Third person. I used to write in first person and for some reason it always seems less?? effective/neat to me? Plus I write very colloquially and I find it easier to do when I can write in third person.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs? Usually canon characters, but if it’s something like Total Drama that depends on constantly changing casts of characters, I’ve definitely made some of my own characters.

39. What is you greatest strength as a writer? Uhhh???? Uhhhh????? Does not compute????

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing? Effectively capturing characters, at least that fit my own standards. And then also the anxiety that comes along with thinking its good enough to waste people’s time with. :’)

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading: I’m not...currently reading any...but I will link to five of my favs.

1. Before and After (Shaddic) --Total Drama (also tw for a lot of HEAVY mental illness/abuse/violence) 2. Wu Xing Shield (DragonNutt) -- Xiaolin Showdown (tw: death) 3. If Lost, Return to Phil (thatsmistertoyou) - Dan and Phil (I don’t remember, I just remember it being really fucking sad) 4. Two Roads Meet (pianodan) - Dan and Phil (tw: suicide) 5. The Vibe and The Vibe 2: 2Fuck2Vibrator (by our very own @cantolopejeevas) (tw: gratuitous smut ;) )

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing: 1. @cantolopejeevas​ / @grumpygamersandvibrantcolors for obvious reasons. they’re just!!! so good!!! at all the types of writing. (hey go commission them) The Ultimate Senpai 2. @i-am-avacado oh boy they angst well! current holder of the angst crown (for nooooow~) honestly writing senpai 3. @devilgate-drive provides the Good Quality Rubbercommanderbang Content and also just generally talented 4. @sweetiefiend writes the cute shit!!! like damn!!!! 5. @autumn-feels so??? talented for her age??? and so deep wtf

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you? I mean, all of my friends for one. And my lovely darling @cantolopejeevas who continues to push me forward and compliments my work all the time. But yeah, all my friends make me wanna get better because they’re all so good and I wanna do that tooooo!!

44.  What ship do you feel needs more attention? AntiPoppy. Please.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic? Fuckin’!!!! Wu Xing Shield, listed above!!! It’s the first fanfic I cried reading!!! And it’s so beautifully written!!! If you like Xiaolin Showdown, I recommend it. Plus, it also took stuff from Xiaolin Chronicles and made it bearable. Bless.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why? Ahhh You Monster. It’s probably my best one. Even though it needs heavy editing haha.

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why? I mean....Fanfiction.net is where it all began, but I never posted anything on it. I think AO3 is the best for posting fics and keeping track of them. But more people usually see it if I post it on my tumblr. So a mixture of those two?

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not? For the longest time I didn’t because I had major anxiety!!! I was too nervous to leave a comment, no matter what. Plus, I didn’t really make accounts on either ffn or ao3 so I couldn’t have if I wanted to. But now I like leaving tags and stuff on people’s works on tumblr and (if I read more fic) I would leave comments, just because I want people to know they’re doing good work!!

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not? Yeah, I mean, of course! I love seeing comments on all my work, art, writing, or otherwise! It’s just nice to know that someone liked something I made, especially if it’s something I’m self-conscious about like I am with writing. And reblogs help spread it around so it can get more attention, so that’s always helpful!

50. Answered

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I HOPE EVERYONE IS HAPPY ESPECIALLY YOU @awkwardarin

[mercenarypark]

for the headcanon thing: medic & reaper

MedicA: what I think realistically-medic was heavily isolated as a child due to him being LGBT and jewish in wwii-era germany, the only human beings he interacted with were his parents [and his parents unconscious patients]. it shows very clearly with his complete social ineptitude, often mistaken for naivity B: what I think is fucking hilarious -medic wouldnt understand a subtle hint or a social cue if u beat him over the head with it. u think im exagerating for comedic effect but no. no. like i said he was isolated and basically cut off from human contact for years so he just like? never learned [that plus The Autism + The Mental Illnesses which make it even harder for him 2 understand shit]. before they were dating heavy made an offhanded comment about wanting to kiss medic and medic didnt realize the romantic connations of that. this is one example of thousandsC: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends-very few of my hcs have gotten me the same chorus of “FUCK YOU” as “medic dealt with a lot of trauma yeaaaars before joining the merc and found his own way of coping and dealing with it, he thought the worst was long over and he was past it all, and then he gets roped into working with cheavy and within weeks, years of recovery are destroyed as cheavy figures out his biggest weak point is his attachment to his birds, and uses that to his advantage, threatening harm to medic’s flock [and oftentimes demonstrating how serious he was] if medic didnt follow orders to a T; so by the end of his time with working with classic heavy, medic is much more of a nervous wreck, more prone to panicking, and even more protective of his birds than he was before, and it takes a lot of time and effort to slowly get past that”D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway-medic is basically scout’s adoptive father and he loves them so much——-

Reaper [note: im not actually tooooo invested in overwatch, and i barely remember any of the Lore[tm] but reaper is one of the few characters i do care about a lot]A: what I think realistically-reaper, doomfist, and roadhog are in a very loving polyamorous relationship and i support themB: what I think is fucking hilarious -uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk honestly? like i said i havent thought much about owatch in a whileC: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends -everyone and their mother has talked about this but reaper is very obviously mccree’s adoptive dad after all that blackwatch shitD: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway -[this cant work canonically bcause reaper is in talon but. u know] reaper really feels for d.va and hates that she had to be dragged into war at such a young age, and he can tell that a lot of her actions [IE treating the fighting as like a video game instead of serious] are done as a sort of coping mechanism, he tries to at least be kind to her from a distance at first and eventually they strike up some sort of familial relationship

[the-sanders-sides]

Fire Ch. 2

Warnings: Self Harm (Please don’t read if it’ll trigger you), Insecurity, Self Hate, Burning, Crying, Cussing, Message Me If I Forgot Any.

@wingedchickadee @a-wannabe-canadian @the-prince-and-the-emo @trashiestrash @thedemonsofmysoul

Read the other parts here

Anxiety widened his eyes and stumbled backward from the candle. Oh god, what the hell am I doing? If they find out, they’re going to be even more disappointed than before. He was thinking faster than the speed of light. Oh no OhNo OhFuckingHellGodNo ICan’t ICan’tEverDoThisAgain They’llBeSoMadAndDissapointedAndDISSAPOINTED THEY/CAN/BE/MAD/AT/ME/BUT His eye twitched being a disappointment...is the worst thing in the world. It’s so much worse. It’s failing. It’sFailingEverythingTheyExpectedAndThoughtOfMe I’veLetThemDownBeforeButThisWillBeANewLow! He closed his eyes. “J-just breathe Anxiety. Just breathe, in and out. They don’t have to know. They’ll never know. A-and that’s the good part of being a facet! I can’t get physically damaged, no scars will form! They’ll never be able to find out, and if I stop now it’ll slip into my forgotten moments.” Anxiety started with a small laugh filled with nervous bitterness and it grew, and it grEW, AND IT GREW. It kept getting stronger until he fell on the floor clutching his stomach with maniacal eyes and hysterical laughter that couldn’t stop and wouldn’t stop. Laughter was all he had, he was empty and hollow and nothing. The laughter of the broken is what he was emitting, and while it was dark and unnerving, at least it was something, something to do to completely the fire form Anxiety’s deteriorating psyche, even if it was only then.

--

18 hours had passed before Anxiety left his room. After his hysteria, he collapsed and passed out on the bathroom floor. He woke up 16 hours later. After clearing his head that morning or night or afternoon or whatever, (Anxiety never opened his curtains) Anxiety realized that the others would find out. He had forgotten that when one of them is hurt physically, they all feel a foggy version of the pain. So Anxiety had sat on his bed with his legs dangling off the edge and his head in his hands contemplating everything that had happened. The others probably figured out it was Anxiety who was hurt already. So wwhy haven’t they come looking for me? Why hhaven’t they checked up on me? You piece of shit, you know it already, they HATE you. Yeah,. I haven’t done anything to change yet anyway. Then Anxiety wondered what he would do if they ever did ask. He needed an excuse a good one! I fell? No, that isn’t good enough for them. I fell and landed on my arm? I need to beef it up some more.  I fell. I fell in the bathroom where there was a candle lit. I had my sleeves rolled up because I had just washed my hands, so when I fell, I landed on my arm and my arm landed in the fire. Anxiety was thankful Thomas was such an excellent actor, for he wouldn’t have to worry about not putting on a good enough performance to make the story believable.

A knock on his door made Anxiety break out of whatever thinking trance he had been. Anxiety took a sharp intake of breath and got up. He apprehensively opened the door and saw that Morality had a tripped right outside Anxiety’s room.

“Heya, kiddo!” Morality beamed, “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to knock; my hand just fell against the door as I fell.”

So he wasn’t even thinking of me… Anxiety put on a fake smile for Morality. He had to be positive. “Oh it’s fine! I was just coming out of my room to get a bite to eat!”

“Oh, awesome! Logan, Roman, and I were just about to have dinner. You can join us if you would like to.”

They weren’t going to invite me, this is an accident, he doesn’t want me around… “Yes I would love to! Do you want to walk together?”

“Sure pal! You know, your attitude is really nice today!”

Good, it’s working. So they do hate normal you. Anxiety chuckled, “Why thank you!”

--

When Morality and Anxiety met Roman and Logan in the kitchen, Roman didn’t bother to look at Anxiety, and if he had to look in Anxiety’s direction, he would look through Anxiety and pretend Anxiety didn’t exist. Logan stopped eating and spoke with a hint of disdain (Of course the friendship was a ruse), “Oh, so you brought Anxiety back from the bathroom. Well that’s good, because I’ve been meaning to ask what happened to Anxiety’s arm if the three of us felt the pain and none of us were the source.” Anxiety relayed the whole story, faking facial expressions and voice intonations that he would’ve made if it actually happened to him. Logan gave a sharp nod to Anxiety and continued his meal. Morality talked next, “Bud, we’re having ravioli for dinner tonight! Feel free to take however much you like. Serve yourself!” This was… slightly unlike Morality. Morality always served everyone. Had the argument from the other day really done this much damage? But Morality was being nice in the hallway? Anxiety ignored the thought and cast it aside for his negativity to feed on later. For now, he needed to be as positive as possible while he ate. When Anxiety sat down, Morality started making dad jokes. Roman and Anxiety would laugh and Logan would argue for the absurdity of them. Roman and Morality would start to have small talk, and Anxiety would pipe in only for Roman to ignore him and Morality to respond and quickly change the topic as to avoid speaking with Anxiety. There was no doubt that it was a long night.

When Anxiety got back to solitude in his room, he felt like he could finally breathe again and let out a sigh. He dropped his façade and locked the door and sunk to the floor. He mumbled, “Don’t think, don’t start thinking about it, don’t start overanalyzing, don’t do it idiot.” Anxiety did it. They hate me, they hate me, they hate me ugh! Well of course silly! Of course they hate you! It’s not like they ever liked you to begin with. I know, but this time I was positive, I was really trying my hardest to be positive. I want them to like me. I want them to treat me like an equal. Why do they have to hate me so much? Similar to before, tears started to fall, but this time Anxiety didn’t go the bathroom. He was too afraid to go there and go near the candle again. The temptation would lure him in. And if he did it again, they would feel it, and he would have a less believable story. They hate you so so so much. They wouldn’t care at all about the story. They wouldn’t care that you’re trying to be better, they’ve already made their decision about you.

Anxiety whisper-yelled, “No they haven’t!” And he followed up with a cracking voice, “I st-ill have a ch-ance.” Everything that you’re saying is just lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. WHY WON’T YOU LISTEN? THEY HATE YOU AND IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU DO! Now go do it again, you know you waaaaant tooooo. You know you haaaaave tooooo. It’s allll that youuuu’ll ever haaave, and it’s alllll that youuu’ll eeeever neeeeeeeddd. I can’t! I can’t! I can’t! Not if I want a chance. YOU’LL NEVER HAVE A CHANCE. Now, have trust in negativity, and dooo iiit.

The smell resembling rubber filled the air once more.

[rqs902]

.

I’m not completely sure if I have a good grasp on what happened to blackace but let’s just say their management seems to have kicked pinlin under the bus, but I do think it was irresponsible of pinlin to just leave suddenly. 

I am not surprised pinlin and naicha clashed and I am also sad that pinlin’s behavior of just leaving after things got heated reminds me of how he acted on super idol. If i remember correctly, he went through rough times during season one, and there was a part where he seriously asked “can i quit?” and pretty much almost did. i think there was also a time when he got into a disagreement with someone during practice and just stormed out of the room because he was so frustrated. it seems like he has a tendency to just exit the situation when he gets mad and i am sad that he left behind the rest of blackace to rearrange their performance with only 2 days left. 

after reading his long weibo explanation, I believe I can understand why he got mad, and I am not saying he wasn’t justified in his feelings, because he and his fans have worked hard to get him to where he is today, and it sounds like he wasn’t feeling respected or valued. i do not invalidate his feelings, but i’m still sad with how he handled the situation. not being him, i obviously can’t say if there was a better way to approach the problem, but maybe he could’ve at least tried talking it out with his group mates. if naicha wasn’t listening, maybe someone else would have. But all this speculation from me is pretty meaningless. I just hope blackace can somehow make amends. the influx of hate comments from pinlin stans is quite daunting to read. 

im sad that WAB went from being a shining opportunity for blackace to a disappointing ending. i guess this is what happens when it’s your group has zero group chemistry or experience working together and you shove them into a high pressure situation for weeks on end with minimal emotional support. 

Im happy to see that the rest of the blackace members liked their last stage. i still appreciated naicha’s choreography. I also appreciated xia zhiguang’s comment about being envious of their dances. I wonder what it’d be like for zhiguang to share the stage with AJ or dance to AJ or naicha’s choreography. Maybe he’d get to free himself as a dancer in ways he’s never been able to before, being in xnine and r1se. id like to see zhiguang taking on new styles of dance. but anyway i’m curious but also kind of dreading what news we’ll hear about blackace next. 

on a separate note i did watch the first ep of snzm (i’m probably going to drop wab now that blackace has been eliminated...) and im sad mr tyger seems to be like one of the only “hui guo rou” kids that they didn’t feature on the first ep.... and tbh in the past, being featured on the first ep vs the second can make a difference..... but hopefully lin mo has enough fans already that it’ll be alright >< im really hoping mr tyger shines in ep 2.... altho ive also noticed none of them did super well for the theme song evaluation (again T_T) i wonder if something happened to lin mo again... but it doesnt seem like the show cares about him tooooo much yet, compared to some of the other hui guo rou kids, but at least he got to be on 少年营业中 bc im SO HAPPY to see him happy and smiling and being silly again. im hoping the contrast between silly lin mo and serious lin mo will help him stand out again. 

im sad zuo qibo got eliminated so early... just for being old??? hes not even thaaattt old.... literally he has the worst luck with survival shows... im here for cui shaopeng and li xikan getting recognition tho!! im also looking out for lin ran and all the other kids im already familiar with... oof it was so awkward to see su xunlun and yang bingzhuo tho... and i wasn’t expecting to see kids even from mrzz! ngl i don’t remember seeing su er before??? but I will say yang chaowen, xu zhaohao and FAN YU (oof) caught my attention too. ill keep an eye out for zuo linjie too, to see how this yixing fanboy wins center. 

overall this first ep was pretty good! mainly just disappointed mr tyger didnt get to perform but that aside, i appreciated the kids they did feature, and I appreciated that they had some background videos for the kids to help us get to know them (although it’d be nicer if everyone got an intro video...) i wonder if they’re able to have time for these intro videos because theyre eliminating almost half the kids immediately, so theyre not wasting camera time on them lol rip...... one bright side about less contestants is just more screentime for everyone. 

but i do really appreciate the focus on the kids as individuals. I really think that makes a big difference in how enjoyable these survival shows are to watch. if i remember correctly, produce camp ep 1 was a mess and there was so much going on and i felt like I didnt get to know the kids enough before stuff started going down. and a lot of the judges’ comments felt harsh and negative. there are still some harsh comments on snzm, but it felt like it was def a warmer, more uplifting tone overall. maybe bc they started saving kids already and they freaking gave fan yu so much time and encouragement even though if this was any other survival show he’d probably just have been edited out of existence and ignored as if he’d never been there in the first place. so for now, im cautiously optimistic about snzm.... although afo was a disaster. and i just remember watching qcyn and just being so mad and so tired and so done with the show by the latter half of the season... I really hope that doesn’t happen again. ip was the only show that was seriously enjoyable to watch the entire way through, and it’s proven to be really hard to recreate.