#it loves a maxed out tag with a lot of raised hands emoticons

[unproduciblesmackdown]

I posted 2,999 times in 2022

489 posts created (16%)

2,510 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@nothingunrealistic

@unproduciblesmackdown

@annabelle--cane

@mossdealer

@gradienty

I tagged 2,411 of my posts in 2022

Only 20% of my posts had no tags

#winston billions - 853 posts

#deh - 144 posts

#kleinsen - 66 posts

#tayston - 58 posts

#riawin - 57 posts

#will roland - 52 posts

#bmc - 50 posts

#asia kate dillon - 45 posts

#corned beef - 35 posts

#goosebumps the musical - 33 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#omggggg happy birthday asia kate dillon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ='] 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

what’s important in marble hornets is that entry 23 has the classic scooby doo hallway doors gag

77 notes - Posted May 26, 2022

#4

🏳️‍🌈 🐠 🌈 finphasis

105 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#3

See the full post

137 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

#2

i love the bmc bway decision for jeremy’s look. they were like hey cmere. put on this oversized sweater it’s so big on you and goes past your wrists. here fluff up your hair. he looks like he’s like fourteen when he’s supposed to be all of sixteen. they were like you’re baby. we’re putting jere bear in the damn script. tysm

148 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ummmm princess tutu post here where the starting point / inspiration is “romance doesn’t particularly matter here lbr” which honestly is further inspired as a counterpoint re seeing occasional mention of like oh it’s Thematically Relevant that ahiru realizes she’s Not actually in love w/mytho b/c like, tl;dr it’s not really imo, when her having a crush at the start of things was always Kind Of beside the point. bring your mytho appreciation and/or willingness for that perspex to be illuminated & know that this will have plenty of tangents b/c it’s me & b/c already it’s like, this has to build on how there’s that essential theme throughout the series of Hope vs Despair as opposites. in fact, spoilers, idk this post is me getting down things i was just Thinking Through while trying to fall back asleep earlier, it’s like, the Hope overlaps with Love so much that it’s like, it might be Essentially the same around here. and i don’t know, maybe in actual life too, see you next week for poetry hour, but for now here’s a cut where i just really start going off on Ideas

anyways like whenever people are going like “people’s roles in pt are subverted and changed & they have to fight against them sometimes” it’s like Yeah but then when an example given is like “ahiru being In Love w/The Prince was Assigned to her & her Questioning that is a key part of the self acceptance & defiance needed to avoid tragedy” like No, again it really never mattered how much she was or wasn’t in love with him in like, a [becoming the princess] endgame romance soulmates way, b/c it was always about her having this genuine love for him that really didn’t hinge on that. and Questioning whether she wants to be with him is really more a matter of drosselmeyer having this shallow understanding / disinterest in the feelings & motivations of his own characters, when a) those characters are Real People (in their world. of course in Real Reality these are all fictional characters) and b) he just wants One Conclusion that’s as tragic as possible for fun, so saying like oh the princess marries the prince, the knight protects the prince, etc, as these simple but high stakes asserted goals for everyone’s roles, is conducive to that

like it’s right there in the first scene like, ahiru’s talking about wanting to dance a pas de deux with the prince, which is certainly potentially romantic, and it’s not like a secret once she’s human that she does Like him, but even then, once she does Sort Of get such a moment when mytho dances with her in the Fire Festival episode deal, she’s excited about having danced with him herself but a) is more substantially excited that Mytho Wanted To Do Something and did it, and then later b) isn’t bothered about him dancing with rue instead. and in that first scene, although she originally says she’d give her life for the chance to dance w/the prince, she also says he looks sad/lonely, and that’s what she repeats later and builds on to say that she’d give her life just to help him on that front in some way, which makes drosselmeyer appear again. drosselmeyer needs princess tutu to also want to restore mytho’s heart so that the story can reach a conclusion, rather than kraehe being fine with him having no heart if it means she can have him, while he wants tutu to also confess her love so that there can be that tragic ending for her, so wanting to generally help but also be with the prince would seem like the key elements to who should get to be tutu out here, while of course for ahiru she does actually want to help him more than she wants to Be With Him in the first place. it’s evident again in the season one finale wherein she does For Intents And Purposes confess her love through dance, but that love is also tied to, again, just wanting him to have his heart back and be Able to dance with her or do anything else, whereas kraehe’s love can’t reach mytho because her approach is a destructive and controlling one about trying to possess him as a Concept of the prince who should be with her as the princess. whereas tutu is like yeah i want you to have your heart back, and then if that meant you wanted to dance with me that’d be cool. and that when they Do dance together afterwards it’s sure Able to serve as an ending, but doesn’t need anyone to really more directly declare Love or eternal togetherness or anything, it’s all good b/c mytho has his heart back (i mean, he doesn’t, but only when there’s Definitely a season two, b/c otherwise you could believe that Love was the final piece. and even if you don’t you could just presume tutu kept doing her thing until he was good to go)

anyways and then season two when there’s like more blatant will they won’t they with her and fakir which, maybe unsurprising disclaimer that that just falls flat for me lmfao b/c a) i think their unfolding dynamic is fun re being friends and a team but everything else just feels kind of tacked on to that wherein also b) idk it never really seems to affect what ahiru does in any especial way lol which would potentially make it more interesting if she did. but otherwise it’s like well great job morally supporting each other out here, fakir’s having antics on his end, but other implications of like “ooh...romance???” are like idk, it just doesn’t do anything for me, and in the end, Again we don’t need any unambiguous answer when it’s like, we’re talking about accepting True Selves and not needing to worry about being alone and then that means hanging out with a duck on a lake, doesn’t really Need to be asked like, is this guy in Love with that duck? when again the love is There between all these characters and drives them already and any potential for romance is, if anything, just kinda like the bonus layer after everything else has already served as adequate motivation all around

anyways i have to go ahead and link it to Hope wherein like. it ends up firmly established that tutu is literally this embodiment of hope, which saves the day in the series finale, so that’s Relevant. and then the raven is embodying despair, but beyond like wanting to destroy the prince and all, that involves people not being able to be themselves, and having to give up on getting to be themselves, and we see from the raven himself and from the people who stand in for the raven / as that antagonist (so kraehe and/or raven mytho) that the general approach to interactions that aren’t just “im gonna kill you” are about trying to control someone, and possibly also still being like “im gonna kill you” but as a less imminent threat, or even “haha yeah you should also kill me, go for it” possibly, re mytho when his jumping in for episodic antagonist lets kraehe’s material become more about her as rue again, and her obviously feeling pretty hopeless with this new context like oh, also, she thinks the prince and kind of also the raven are the only people who even Could possibly love her, b/c of the raven. 

meanwhile there’s also drosselmeyer who wants characters to have enough hope to continue the story and to provide Setup for the later tragedy, but also wants them to be able to despair at the Correct time (namely, the Ending, when tragedy is great / players dropping out of the narrative is fine) and all these characters are dealing with their stories being controlled by someone who does want to push things towards more tragedy. which like, surely Not Very Coincidental overlap of tragedy, despair, and control there. drosselmeyer has a degree of control over everything, though it seems More direct the more people are getting into the “staged” zones, or say, being in his clockwork puppets behind the scenes world, whereas edel’s function was to try to exist within the world and direct the story the way drosselmeyer wanted it to go, rather than him just being able to do it himself (or necessarily Wanting to do it himself, since he’s just here to be entertained, and even if he Could write it all into reality, seems he might instead be letting it play out w/o more interference b/c that’s more fun for him), but we see even through edel, who’s entirely a puppet rather than a person and definitely has never had a heart in the first place, that she still manages to become interested in and understand more about emotions and arguably have them herself, since she ends up having motivations in conflict with drosselmeyer’s and takes actions he didn’t direct, and if that goes for her, it has to go for his created characters turned real people, too, even when, say, they don’t have their heart

which idk i’m making up segues as we go here, but at the start, you have people who see mytho as a Concept and how he has a role in whatever role they imagine for themselves. like rue seeing him as the prince to her princess, or fakir being threatened by his being the prince to his knight, and their sort of begrudging alliance when neither of them want mytho to have his heart restored b/c rue knows he could wind up with someone else and fakir knows if the story could possibly resume, as the knight, he’d have to die. yet they both see mytho as enough of a person to also want to protect him, which is sure a manifestation of love that we see around here. but that protection also involves control: they both control what mytho gets to do, when they know that otherwise anyone Else could potentially direct him around, b/c mytho can’t know what he wants or doesn’t want to do, but he would if he had his heart. which they Can’t return, b/c apparently only tutu can do that, and evidently drosselmeyer hasn’t tried to give either of them the ability to return it, but even before it’s started to be returned they’re both decidedly Against that happening. and when they do realize it’s being returned, you have rue taking that role as kraehe and doing everything she does trying to stop tutu or tell mytho about how he Has to be with her, and just kind of shove fakir out of the way if he’s trying to interfere with the latter, while he’ll Also get in on trying to stop tutu, and while when push comes to shove he won’t really try to oppose mytho once mytho tells him what he does or doesn’t want, it takes a minute to get there, and his approaches to trying to stop mytho from regaining his heart are the classics like, tell him he sucks all the time, lashing out like hitting him that once, the “if i lock him in a dark room forever that’ll be so depressing it’ll just make him stop having feelings” effort lmao like it’s not gonna work....instances of the connection drawn between control & despair like, thinking of someone acting out of despair as, say, despairing of their being any other options for themself. which someone else can try to push them into by telling them there’s no other option / trying to put them in a situation where they seemingly have no other options

and it’s interesting how it’s not only like oh Despair / thinking you have no options is only something antagonists engage in, because we can say it’s in the choice to Self Sacrifice as a way to protect others, which comes up a lot, for example, mytho’s drive to protect defenseless things as a quality that motivates him even when he has no emotions. and you have the finales where, in both cases, fakir has to figure out how to fight anyways (and the second time around is inspired to risk tapping into his Author Powers again b/c he’s aware of how everyone’s been protecting him, like mytho managing to stop his dramatic Evil Self from just killing fakir w/a sword lol), and the first time around tutu’s supposed to see no other option but to save mytho by confessing her love and thus vanishing into a point of light, but she trusts in her own feelings and thus herself and refuses to give up, in the series finale, it’s rue who sacrifices herself by confessing love (which now manifests as her desperate to save mytho from the raven rather than her standing in for the raven, when she was willing to control him just so she could possess him, whereas now it’s been made entirely obvious to her where that approach wound up) and ahiru has to again face down despair, but then brings in Hope in the end for everyone else’s sake even when it seems she has no options b/c she seemingly can’t do anything. fakir won’t give up writing even when it seems he can’t do anything (and is told that), mytho won’t give up by shattering his heart again and figuring he can only die in the end even after defeating the raven, and ahiru’s apparently like summoned some form of the original tutu via all this Hope, wherein it’s sure interesting how original tutu apparently Also self sacrificed but did successfully give the prince hope in the process, because people are considering the self sacrifices in the first place to protect others, who in turn might try to stop them from doing that to protect Them, and that means creating other options / convincing them of other options

so tutu is out here sure creating options for mytho by returning his heart, and the reward in this for her is all about helping him and seeing him getting to be more of himself again and exercise his agency. which is so genuinely important to her that she also was ready to give up returning his heart / being tutu at all when she thought she was only hurting him and that he might not even want his heart returned; and that returns again in the next season when she again can’t know if he wants his heart back b/c he again can’t be his full self to communicate the answer one way or another, but she’s realized that she’s had a piece of his heart with her all along and that that being the source of her power to return his heart means that regaining his heart was always a genuine desire of mytho’s and why they should risk everything now to restore his heart in full when they don’t know that’ll go great. and at that point it’s obvious that rue no longer acts on her love through the Despair angle of thinking that her only option is him loving her, so she can only accept his loving her being His only option too, thus trying to control what he does so she can own him; now rue is acting out of hope, encouraged by tutu, where even if she can’t see it working out she knows that acting on that despair Isn’t The Way and is now trying, even as distantly as this, to work with mytho’s genuine self and what he wants, even just trying to let him exist again, really

and it feels like all the Birds all over the place might have to do with the freedom and creation in hope vs stifling and limitations via despair, what with flying and all, not to mention one intro being about the fairy tale with someone who wants their Magical Winged Lover to be guaranteed to stay with them, so magically removes her wings, but the wings were the source of her life, so she dies. it’s like kraehe with mytho in season one, where by trying to control him / remove his freedom she can technically be with him by virtue of like, yes, he’s physically present, but she can’t actually engage with him as a person nor he with her in turn because, as i’ve just remembered, her ripping away his feeling of Love while kissing him just shuts down his access to his emotions again, which is sure Something, tap into some [metaphorical trauma response?] if you want maybe....she can’t truly be with him as a person, with any actual relationship, when her efforts at getting there via the despair/control route are incompatible with him getting to actual exist and live as his full self, even if he’s technically physically there, she can’t truly just Have Him like that....meanwhile, mytho has this affinity for / connection with birds, he saves that canary chick who’s trying to fly in the first episode (and Does manage to fly when tutu also steps in to save them both), and ahiru is also actually a bird (who can fly a bit but seems to struggle with that) while tutu appears to others as either a swan or a figure with wings for arms (which might be tutu’s Original form as well), and ahiru as a girl is already out here supporting mytho as a person so that in that moment that’s just like, Scream, there’s that instance in the first episode of season two where he says that ahiru is like his bff and the person he feels he can trust most? or i think what he says is she’s the one person he feels he can tell anything. and then never knowingly interacts with her again lmao like scream....but the fact that Relationship is established even without him knowing she’s tutu where he still feels like yeah i can trust this person with my heart too, in essence. and to tie this back to the Ostensible premise of all this lmfao, it’s clearly not particularly outright Romantic, but that really doesn’t matter, and when he eventually at least realizes tutu is like, a duck, obviously he has no negative reaction to that whatsoever like yknow what, sure, who Isn’t kind of a bird, god bless you

anyways i think it’s sure neat how like. sure maybe only a few people know mytho’s literally a fairytale prince with literally no heart, and everyone else just thinks he’s like kind of weird / mysterious, but ahiru notes he doesn’t seem to be happy / seems lonely and she hopes(tm) she can help change that, and soon embraces knowingly returning his heart, even though she could’ve taken the route of going yeah oh since he Can’t want anything, why both returning it, if his current experiences Can’t upset him, why try to give him anything else.....she sees him as a person from the start, and wants him to have as much ability to want and enjoy things as possible, whatever he chooses to do with that. Couldn’t Be Me when ppl think mytho’s just boring or he’s basically not a person like, well again in reality none of them are people b/c they’re characters, but in that world like, even with yes him being technically a character There, drosselmeyer’s creations Are just real people, where even the actual puppets can gain autonomy and have wants and feelings of their own, and ahiru was sure always able to treat edel like a person, too

running out of steam here lmfao & i always of course take long pauses in writing these so remembering what was going on takes even more effort lol but as a fun postscript like galaxy brain of autistic appreciators of mytho lmao like, that’s me, it’s Fascinating like again i don’t think [oh boring] about him not having feelings, i think that’s interesting & fun of him lmfao. and of course it’s not about like oh autistic people Can’t feel anything, or that they even feel any less, any more than it’s about autistic people all being fictional princes who can summon a swan sword and defeat the raven or anything. but it’s like, thinking of people being seen as Not Expressive Enough and how that must mean they don’t have feelings (and the fact like also mytho sure does Have the capacity for those feelings, and there’s even some ambiguity about whether those feelings are still Active while separated from him / affected by things that are happening to him, but he just can’t draw from that at all until its returned) or those feelings are like, diminished / deficient. also thinking of, i forget the word for it, difficulty identifying what you’re feeling, wherein you know it’s like, being autistic where people misinterpret how you’re expressing yourself or a lack of some particular expected/desired manifestation of expression, and react (negatively) to that misinterpretation (thinking of like. all the times people around mytho are reacting to misinterpretations about him and his intentions and feelings. second episode where mytho hasn’t had a single heart shard returned yet, but already is getting hit by someone b/c while he’s giving No Reaction and expressing No Emotion b/c he can’t feel anything yet, she’s reading this like desire to sabotage her / disdain for her into it) and people being left to wonder if They’re the one misinterpreting their own emotions / ways they’re expressing it when nobody else is recognizing this or responding to that, and rather asserting they must be acting on some xyz other emotion actually....and all this pushback as mytho Is exploring his own genuine emotions and trying to act on his own genuine wants and interests even while other people are like what no, that’s ridiculous, cut it out, etc, and being shocked & surprised when he does show some open expression of [whatever emotion] like, king of not masking lmao. thinking of how i could surprise ppl with the most mundane things like “i think basketball is fun” like i have a zillion opinions & things i can talk abt & i’m fairly spontaneous & excitable & theatrical & talkative as hell but like the “default” or safe approach i have has none of that and people will then just assume like oh if it’s not being shared with me in a way that seems obvious enough or expressed Naturally / Correctly Enough, it must not be there at all. and ahiru just seeing mytho as a person in the first place and gaining the ability to Help Him Be Himself because of that. i think it’s soooo neat and i love that funky little guy, again s/o to the wisdom of autistically enjoying mytho as a character

and you know i think that’s ahiru of course acting as this force of Love by supporting mytho’s personhood & autonomy & wanting him to have options and the ability to actually choose b/w them, and Hopefully i connected that to Hope b/c you know, it’d be Despairing to figure actually no she’s not going to try to help him and there’s nothing anyone can do and this is the only way it can be. where people’s love for each other in all ways and all combinations around here is about not giving up, wanting to give the other person hope / getting hope from that person. the heart shart tutu gets is hope, wherein even interacting with her lets mytho feel hope, and where in turn there’s that line in the season one finale about her wanting to protect him and that the way she feels when she sees him is what lets her become tutu, wherein clearly also that is powered by the hope heart shard, so another love / hope link, wherein does it even seem like that love being Romantic was what really mattered, vs just that it’s a more general love for him as a person, where Liking him sure can fall under that, but it’s clearly never really that big a deal, like, even recognizing rue as a rival doesn’t introduce any conflict when instead ahiru’s like wow i love rue she’s the best yeah if she was with mytho that’d be cool, she’s my best friend now, i want the best for her too....there’s no like, “oh she Liked mytho at the start b/c she was Supposed to, it was an imposition of her Role” like that might be more of drosselmeyer’s assumption but what Really mattered from the start was simply wanting to help him, and Everyone Wanting To Help Each Other keeps being what wins....ahiru gets to be tutu for that reason, not b/c she’s determined to be with him romantically, which, you know, it’s also pointed out that tutu’s role being so Tragically Fated means you’d have to accept not getting to be with him anyways, in theory....and what motivates her re: mytho was never imposed, it’s love powered by hope & vice versa, and even when season two is all will they won’t they abt her and fakir that never like gets in the way of her main goal still being helping / protecting mytho, b/c again, that was never Just All About Liking(tm) Him anyways, so if she ever wonders about Liking(tm) anyone else it’s like yeah okay that actually is not that related lmao, her crush on mytho in the first place is mostly just like, funny and lively lmao. Wish the would they wouldn’t they material in season two was that way also b/c then it might’ve been engaging / interesting to me lol, but if it’s enjoyable like cool then, it’s just not really in conflict with anything actually lmao or that glorious defiance. all the climactic moments of the like ultimate Hope and Love saving people isn’t outright about romance. b/c this is all about any forms of relationships really, it’s not like oh yeah this way of treating people is good for Romance, but not other kinds of love, or vice versa

170 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wakaoujisenhime]

Our fireplace - Keigo x reader

A/N: This right here is a special present for @bluuenvy for the Secret Santa event fyeahbnha hosted! Hope you have a great holiday! I tried to implement as much of your interests/wishes, which you shared with me, as I could and hope that you’ll enjoy this fluffy story even a little bit! (*´◡`)

I also tried my hand at graphics and hope that it’s enough to count as a second present! Please enjoy! ❤️

Tags: Hawks/Keigo x reader ✅  SFW ✅  fluff ✅

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

You were woken up rather sudden and unwillingly as the sunlight which shone on the empty space next to you reached your closed eyes. In an attempt to escape the bothersome light you turn your back to your windows and look at the dimly lit room with squinted eyes. The slight fragrance of your boyfriend’s cologne was still lingering and it made you remember the way his arms would always wrap around your body and keep you warm during all those nights immediately made a smile appear on your sleepy face. 

Despite still feeling tired you stretched your body and reached for your glasses on the nightstand next to your bed, while doing so you managed to catch a glimpse of the clock.

8:35 AM…

You sighed and leaned your back against the headboard. It usually didn’t surprise you to wake up alone, but today you at least hoped to be able to have your beloved next to yourself. Sadly him being a pro hero meant that things like this would occur daily and you had no choice but to accept it.

Another sigh escaped your mouth as you slowly got up and made your way to the kitchen, ready to prepare some breakfast and start your first free day since long ago, but much to your surprise a plate of your favorite breakfast meal was already standing at the center of the kitchen island and a small note was leaned against the edge of the plate. You take the small paper and look at the familiar handwriting.

Good morning sunshine, hope I didn’t wake you up this morning (though maybe I should have). I wish you a Merry Christmas and hope that you’ll make the most out of today’s first half, ‘cause I get to have you all to myself during the second half. Just make sure to be at home by 6 PM, trust me...you won’t regret it.

Love you, my dear

While you read that note, you failed to notice the wide grin that had spread across your face. The mere thought of your boyfriend having prepared something for the two of you additionally to his plan of coming home earlier than he had ever managed before made your heart race with anticipation. You started humming to yourself while you ate your warm breakfast.

Today is going to be a great day…

With that thought in mind, you finished up eating, put the dishes away, and made your way to the bathroom. Your plan for today was to mainly spoil yourself and do some shopping, since thanks to work you weren’t able to go on a good shopping spree for quite a while. 

Surrounded by the warm and bubbly water of your bathtub you let your thoughts wander, thinking about whether you should invite some of your friends to accompany you, but you decided against it, remembering that today was a special holiday they’d probably like to spend alongside their families and significant others. Thanks to your thought process, the idea of spending Christmas alongside your beloved entered your mind once again and before you could suppress any upcoming scenario that popped into your head, you saw a small smiley face on the mirror shelf unit above your sink. Your eyes widened as you remembered the day Hawks had drawn this small emoticon. The two of you took a bath together on that day and when you started drying your hair in front of the mirrored shelf he made fun of your pouty face. He said that you should try and look more cheerful so that you prevent any wrinkles from forming on your beautiful and young face. Since the mirror was still partially fogged back then, the little face had stayed there, and it unexpectedly brightened up your mood.

“Alright, let’s do this!” you happily cried out and raised both of your fists into the air, determined to make this the best day of your life.

After pressing the play button on your phone’s favorite playlist and turning the volume to max, you began to dance while you dressed yourself up. As for today’s outfit, you picked one that you considered your favorite: black skinny jeans, a dark purple top, and a grey pullover with dark-colored patterns. Now that you were dressed up, you once again returned to the bath to do your hair, since having long hair meant a lot of struggles, but you never considered it that way...if anything you absolutely loved it and you’d gladly spend almost an hour playing with it or fixing it, and indeed it took you 40 minutes to fix it the way you wanted it to be. With a triumphant grin, you placed your hands on your hips and admired the subtle hairdo that perfectly complemented your facial features.

Perfect...now I’m all set.

Instead of pausing your loud music, you simply plugged your headphones in and continued dancing to the vibrant beats that roared through the small speakers as you progressively left the apartment. 

——

After getting on your regional bus which would drive you right to the heart of the city where all of the shops would stand so close to each other that they resembled a tight-knitted pearl necklace, allowing not even the tiniest space for a side alley. You took a seat next to the window and looked out, relishing the familiar places of your vivid hometown. As soon as the vehicle passed a couple of your favorite stores you once again remembered some of your past dates with Keigo and thanks to the energetic J-Rock music that dominated your playlist, the scenes you recalled were mostly positive. Even though you were in a slight daze something caught you off guard. A pair of red wings flashed before your vision and you were so taken aback that it took you a short while to actually process what you had seemingly witnessed. You reluctantly turned your head back a bit, trying to make sure that your eyes weren’t deceiving you, but the bus had already passed the shop in question and the trademark of your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.

Am I finally starting to see things?

Your stop finally arrived and the moment you got out of the bus, the festive mood of the city finally hit you in all its glory. Holiday lights, garlands, colorful posters announcing sales or wishing passersby and customers a merry Christmas. Everything was so full of life and bright that the immense urge to visit every single shop overcame you, a tingly feeling you know too well. The city center was brimming with life and not only tourists and locals were present, but also some folks from the outskirts had decided to drop by and enjoy what the usually stressful and oppressing collage of high buildings had organized for the festive days. Your excitement went through the roof as you walked a few steps, letting your eyes roam around, and that’s when you first took notice of the variety of street vendors that loudly advertised their products and food. Everything seemed so welcoming and warm and if it weren’t for your little “promise” with Keigo, you would’ve spent your entire day jumping from one store to the other, trying as much of the food out as your stomach could take. A silent giggle escaped your lips at the sheer imagination of yourself going through with that plan, but enough of that. You were here to spoil yourself and no one was going to stop you from it.

A few hours passed by and within those you had visited a handful of shops. You had paid a visit to your favorite clothing store, which you left with two full shopping bags, full of new different tops, jeans, jackets, and a few beanies you’d occasionally put on. Next, you visited one of the many music stores your city had constructed, looking for the newest release of your main Japanese rock band as well as for some merch to go along with it. Further down the street was a small and barely noticeable building, its size was minuscule in comparison to the ones which surrounded him and unlike them, it had no modern façade, it was a simple brick building with very few Christmas decorations. And this small store was something you considered your getaway on lonely days or just bad days in general...it was your favorite bookstore. You were always over the moon when they had the latest release of your favorite genre of books, namely mystery novels. The staff there was similar to the building’s exterior: old but proper, super friendly, and attentive to any type of customers. They adored you and you did so as well. That mutual fondness you had for each other lead to many conversations on different topics, you sometimes even sat down and drank something together, but the main thing they did for you was set the newest releases to the side and wait for you to pick them up.

When you opened the wooden door to the store the familiar chime of the small bell above the door frame rang out, notifying the two owners of your arrival.

“My dear, welcome! How have you been?”

Another wide smile adorned your lips as you took the old and skinny hands of the owner into your own, squeezing them lightly. The two of you exchanged greetings, chatted a bit, and then his facial features dropped a little. His voice sounded sad as he confessed to you that there were no new novels for you to pick up. His seriousness took you by surprise, but you just giggled and reassured him, that it was no problem whatsoever, you were here to give them something in the first place. Their surprised and touched expressions warmed your heart, and after exchanging dozens of hugs you exited the store and resumed your shopping spree…

“No way! Bakugou look who’s there!”

The sudden loud but cheerful voice caught you off guard and as you turned your head to its source you saw a familiar duo amid the countless other pedestrians.

“Kirishima! Bakugou! What a coincidence of meeting you guys here!”

“There’s nothing coincidental about this and you know it.”

Both you and the red-haired young man squinted your eyes and raised your eyebrows at the grumpy blond, who immediately got flustered and tried to hide it with countless insults that weren’t bad-mannered in the least. Ignoring his usual tactics Kirishima and you shifted your attention to each other and started chatting up a storm.

“Have you been out shopping for presents as well?” he asked with his typical lively voice. You smiled and answered that this was more or less the case. The three of you resumed the walk and talked about today’s plans.

You found out that the former 1A planned a get-together at a restaurant and Bakugou made sure to stress multiple times that he wasn’t here voluntarily and that Kirishima had forced him to go shopping for some small surprises for their former classmates. 

“And what about you, don’t you have anything planned with that birdman of yours?”  If you weren’t between these tall men right now, the blond would’ve gotten elbowed by his friend, who now had to resort to glares only. 

“Bakugou, you can’t ask her something so personal!”

“Why not? Didn’t we tell her about our plans too?”

“She’ll share it with us if she feels comfortable, ok? It’s way more private than our get-together!”

“You little-”

Much to their surprise, your giggles were what interrupted their small bickering and after a while, the two of them couldn’t hold back and joined in. After calming down you just shook your head and told them about the small note he had left behind but after suppressing all those lonely thoughts for the entire day, your facade finally dropped and so did your expression. You couldn’t take it anymore, this entire time you had spent in the city, trying to spoil yourself, one couple after the other entered your sight and as if to spite you, all of them recreating some of the cutest couple moments you had experienced alongside Hawks. It was as if all the couples had come up with a plan to constantly rub salt into your wound and you really hated being that overdramatic, but you really couldn’t help it. 

So what if I want to be with him on Christmas? 

Is it bad that I want him by my side on a holiday one is supposed to celebrate with their loved one?

You suddenly felt a big hand pat you on your back and it startled you. Turns out that you had been saying all of these things out loud. Now both men were looking at you with a worried and sympathetic expression, it was no secret that you were embarrassed about your sudden outburst and just as you were about to apologize to them, Bakugou sighed unexpectedly audible, catching the two of you off guard.

“You know I’m probably never going to hear the end of this, but I can’t keep this up anymore...not when you’re like this,” he paused and looked at you “before I met up with Kirishima, I saw that bird further down the street, mumbling to himself that he had to quickly go back home and start preparing for something or else he wouldn’t make it. So chances that you meet him at home right now rather than later...are rather high.”

That’s all he had to say and the perhaps biggest grin you had ever mustered appeared on your face a couple of seconds after he had finished his little confession of sorts. You really wanted to stay with them for a little bit longer but the thought of meeting Keigo earlier than expected prevailed, so you hugged them goodbye, wished them and their classmates a pleasant night, and finally gave Bakugou a quick and rather unexpected kiss on his puffed-out cheek. Kirishima stopped him from releasing his quirk under the broad daylight while they were in between all these innocent people and earned himself a reward kiss on his cold red cheek as well.

The drive back passed by quicker in comparison to earlier and you were really thankful for that since you couldn’t wait to meet your beloved any longer.

“Keigo!”

Your loud voice mixed with the quick and sudden way you opened the front door startled the winged man so bad that he even let out a silent yelp. He was so surprised by your premature visit that he just stood there in the middle of the living room with two beautifully wrapped presents in his hands. You were quite surprised yourself at the way your home had changed in those few hours you were away, but that was secondary right now because something on your boyfriend caught your attention. He wore a fluffy white pullover which you secretly knitted for him over the course of a few months, it was supposed to be his present for today which you had put underneath the small Christmas tree the two of you decorated a few weeks back.

“Ok wait, I can explain!”

While he put away the two boxes in panic, you simply jogged up to him and jumped into his arms, almost knocking him down. Before he could say anything, you began kissing his lips passionately and after a few of your kisses, he decided to just drop his explanation for the time being and enjoy your affectionate behavior, which he of course returned with as much love as you had given him.

When the two of you finally separated, he took the initiative and began talking: “So before you start showering me with questions all I want to say is that I was planning on surprising you with a joint dinner, some presents, and your favorite dessert. Unfortunately, someone caught me in the middle of my plans so now…you’ll have to wait quite a bit for me to finish everything up, sorry about that sunshine I reall-”

“It’s ok Keigo I don’t mind! If anything...I’d love to help you out with it and even though that might ruin your planned surprise, I honestly don’t care for it too much. I just want to be with you today.”

Your bluntness had always been something he admired you for and it was no secret that he still had some problems with expressing his feelings without any restraint and that’s why he really appreciated it when you made the first steps. Back when the two of you had first met it was the exact opposite: he was the open and pretty forward person while you were a tad shyer, but after the two of you gradually grew closer to each other your roles reversed. Nonetheless, you both complement each other perfectly and every day was but another great adventure.

The two of you moved your conversation to the kitchen where you guys finished up the rest of the dinner and talked about your day. That’s also when you finally answered the question he was constantly bringing up, namely why you knew that he’d be back at home earlier than he promised. 

After you guys put some of the meals in the oven and let the others cool down, your boyfriend took you by the hand and dragged you to the fireplace he had lit some moments ago, urging you that it was now your turn to open your presents.

Keigo sat down cross-legged in front of you and watched you open the boxes with big eyes. You picked the bigger one first and when you finally reached the present you couldn’t help but laugh. It was a beige cardigan which also seemed like it was self-knit, similar to the pullover you gave him. Both of you couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the similar thoughts you guys had for a present. Next up was the smaller rectangle box which was way harder in comparison and even though you tried your best to not damage the wonderfully chosen present paper, your curiosity got the best out of you and soon you were ripping one small piece after the other...and forth came a book.

“N-No way! Keigo is that what I think this is?”

“Well...if you’re thinking about the newest volume of your favorite suspense novel, then yes, this is indeed it!”

You happily cried out his name and once again threw your arms around his neck, but this time it was him who attacked you with millions of kisses. Keigo then took you into his arms and leaned his back against the couch. Both of you remained in that position for a short while, his calm breathing, and a little quickened heartbeat were having a quite calming effect on you. The warmth the fire next to you provided made you sleepy on top of that and just as you were about to close your eyes and doze off, your beloved’s voice brought you back to reality...

“You know sunshine...if there is something like a past life then I’d like to believe that we were destined to be together but didn’t manage to do it.”

It was surprising to hear him speak of past lives since this was normally a topic you were interested in and often thought about, Keigo on the other hand usually listened to your theories and imaginations and added his opinion occasionally, so hearing him initiate it this time was a little worrisome. But you knew better than to interrupt him, so all you did was squeeze his body tighter and remain silent yet attentive.

“I rarely imagine stuff like that, but on days like this I just can't help but wonder if I really deserve this much happiness...d-don’t misunderstand me though, I’m really really thankful for you, our relationship, everything! But everything is going so smooth that I just can't help but overthink it and maybe we weren’t in a relationship in our past lives, but ended up leading a good life despite that, so now...”

Silence followed and you heard how his pulse had remarkably quickened the longer he talked about it, knowing Keigo his thoughts had already begun drifting into the darkest of abysses, and you weren’t going to let that happen.

“...Now you’re thinking that something bad might be waiting for us in the future...as payback for our good life but bad relationship type of past life?” you asked as you looked up to the worried facial expression of your lover, whose only reaction was to nod. You sat up and looked him directly into his eyes while your hands squeezed both of his cheeks.

“That’s not how past lives work Keigo and you know it. I don’t want you to plunge yourself in darkness over a theory with no basis. Since when were you even that type of guy who believed that...what did you call it again...mambo jambo?” 

He smiled and gave your palms a gentle kiss, but he remained silent, waiting for you to finish. 

You continued trying to reassure him, telling him that no matter what you guys were going to face in the future you’d always have each other and even if that one random theory he came up with should happen one day, you promised him to never leave his side. 

And this seemingly meaningless promise is what drove Hawks to come out of his comfort zone in the following months, he also started coming home earlier from work and patrols. All in all, he began spending more time with you and you had nothing against it, if anything you appreciated him thinking more about your joint life as well as himself.

One day when you once again got woken up by the sunlight you felt how someone caressed your cheek and then the mattress tilted as the weight which was next to you disappeared. It took you a few minutes to wake yourself up and look around for your lover, but then you noticed something on your hand. Your eyes widened and you immediately jumped out of your bed, looking for Keigo, who was smiling to himself as he took a seat in front of your fireplace and patiently waited for you...