#it makes sense. peril deserves people who actually want her and relate to her problems and want to listen to her

[belovedisaster]

would you be ok with drawing peril x sunny x fatespeaker? your art is so prettyy I love it

yea i think its like this

[dotthings]

Let’s talk about Dean lashing out at Cas and his line “you’re dead to me,” in context of the current situation and what we know and have seen from Dean as a character. This kind of lashing out when Dean is in a great deal of pain, most often because he is terrified of losing, or has lost, someone he loves, is consistent for the character.

No it’s not OOC. No, SPN does not hate Dean. No, it’s not “abusive” and I wish to hell all the TFW lanes would wake up and realize the way some carelessly slap that “abusive” label onto Dean, or onto Cas, or onto Sam, trivializes abuse and hurts fans who are abuse survivors and who relate to the TFW characters for very good reasons. Unhealthy coping mechanisms or way too harsh, or misguided, they do hurt each other. Nothing in me idealizes the TFW relationships or characters and there are all kinds of problems in that familial team which I have blogged about here for actual years. They do have some repeat/cyclical behavior. 

They also have character development and I’ve watched as they grow more self-aware and lesson some of their more unhealthy coping mechanisms and grow more honest with each other. It’s one reason I love S14 so much, it’s so character driven and the characters are vocalizing so much more honestly than they used to. I’ve waited so long for SPN to do a season with this tone. Each of them still makes mistakes but they seem increasingly quicker to realize it, to fully confess to each other what they were thinking, and vocalize their motives. In Dabb era in particular I’ve noted how some things I was used to extrapolating in earlier seasons, things that were tacit in the story, in the build of the characters, are now more often in addition to the story showing it, also being vocalized by the characters themselves.

Character development is good and it is sad when they slip back into unhealthy coping mechanisms again, but they are by nature imperfect characters and in fact those flaws are part of why we love them. So much as they progress, it’s not going to be all self-acceptance sunshine and roses and nothing but mutual understanding and kindness. So long as I am also seeing character development, I’m not going to hit the ceiling every time they mis-step.

Stuff you need to put my post in further context: 

I’m speaking here as someone who writes a lot on Cas pov as well as Dean pov. I’m not someone who bashes the others in Team Free Will and only talks about Dean. I consider myself a dual fan of both characters (I love Sam too but that’s for another discussion, I relate the most to Dean and Cas and that’s just how I’m wired). I’ve been defending Cas for a decade. A literal decade and I don’t bash Cas, I love him, and I wish more Cas fans could at least extent some basic courtesy back and understand that if Cas hate hurts them, Dean hate will hurt people who love Dean.

I’m feeling terrible for Cas right now and I’ve already made a number of posts on his motivations and pov. He withheld information and he shouldn’t have done that, but we know it isn’t all on him, Sam and Dean have already vocalized they know it isn’t all on him, and we also understand why and we know he doesn’t deserve the harsh words Dean said.

Does this mean Dean is a horrible abusive person who doesn’t deserve Cas, doesn’t deserve love (from Cas or fans), because he lashed out?  No.

Does this mean Dean is OOC, has never done anything like this, would never, and the writers are “destroying” the character?  No.

Dean is getting a lot of hate right now. A lot. And he doesn’t deserve it.

What a trap is it to try to counter, in meta, the extreme hot takes of the farthest character pole extremes. Because if I catalog the previous examples of Dean lashing out at a loved one because he’s scared, grieving, hurt, worried, about another loved one, all that will go into standom’s hot takes machine and get spit out as “gotcha! See? He’s abusive! Look how mean he is!” 

They will ignore how soft he is. How he is 90% of the time the biggest softest softie that ever softed. All the instances of how forgiving he is, how loving he is to those he loves, how protective, how gentle. That all flies out the window because Dean lashed out.

Some claim he’d never. Oh yes he has, oh yes he does, and oh yes he just did and there is nothing OOC here.

So I won’t make an extensive list of when he’s lashed out, and an extensive list of his soft squishy loving center would just not fit into one post anyway. But in case you don’t believe me that this lash out here is consistent, remember he screamed “then let it end” at Bobby, Dean broke lamps over Kevin’s death flinging the entire contents of a bunker library to the floor, MoC Dean lashed out at Sam over Charlie’s death, he yelled at Sam for calling Cas, who Dean was gravely worried about in S11, an “it,” he yelled at Sam out of his grief for Cas in S13. Which by the way, Dean again got a ton of hate for, from Cas extremists, who ironically claim Dean isn’t caring enough for Cas, but if he shows the intensity of the pain he is in due to his grief for Cas, that’s wrong too. 

In 14.18 Dean lashes out for a complex set of reasons. Yes, a lot of it is his fear/grief on Mary’s behalf. Losing her is devastating to him and he’s going through it for the second time. A lot of it also is the fact that Cas kept information from him, didn’t go to him. Even though later in the episode Dean follows Sam’s confession about his own need to believe in Jack with his own, even though Dean vocalizes his shared culpability with Cas. The culpability isn’t the only factor here. Dean trusts Cas so much and he loves Cas so much and I think Dean’s also hurt Cas kept something from him and hurt that Cas thought he should fix the thing all on his own and it’s a little too similar to Cas in S6 an we know how that turned out. That doesn’t mean Cas is like he was in S6, I’m talking deep in Dean pov here, what Dean’s fears are and that it reminds him of it and that hurts extra.

I’m not saying it’s not mostly about Mary. But those things about Cas, the closeness of his bond with Cas, and a sense of personal trust being stepped on, that Cas didn’t, personally, go to him, didn’t lean on him, ask for him, confide...that’s also driving why he lashed out. Had Mary not been in peril, Dean probably wouldn’t have impulsively lashed out so hard, but he still would have been hurt Cas kept this from him and said something acerbic. 

None of the dual Dean and Cas fans defending Dean are telling anybody they have no right to be upset or no right to be hurt. Nor are we hand-waving to make Dean perfect. That’s the whole point. I don’t need a perfect Dean to still be a Dean fan.

The lashing out isn’t a healthy coping mechanism and it’s sad what went between Dean and Cas in this episode, but it’s not the destruction of their relationship by any stretch. We already got, right in the episode, self-awareness from Dean’s end, we got Cas’s full emotional confession why he did it. Dean lashed out but Cas didn’t run, he didn’t assume he was no longer wanted at all, I think Cas understands Dean and he, like Dean, is forgiving, and nobody has told Cas to be gone from their sight never to return. It’s just going to take time.

Dean is really isolated right now, reflected in the framing of the TFW scene at the pyre and the TFW in the kitchen, where Dean is shown physically separate in scene blocking. He’s an island. He’s still freezing Cas out, but he needs some time. Let’s see what ep 19 and 20 bring.

Also where am I making excuses for Dean or treating Dean as perfect in this post or blaming Cas? Nowhere, that’s where. 

I’m not interested in countering the Dean bashing by shoving blame onto the writer, because I thought this episode was a complicated honest emotional wallop, and I’m not going to deny Dean the right to be imperfect and complex by saying “he’s OOC” every single time he isn’t the sweetest softest best most supportive softie, every time he has a vulnerability, every time he says something he shouldn’t. It’s fair to say that writers control the character so if you don’t like what a character did, blame the writers, they’re the puppet-masters. But in this case it’s not doing Dean any favors by taking that defense, by denying how complex he is and waving around the “OOC!” flag to try to make it all better. Better IMO to talk about Dean’s pov and motivations and what makes him tick and give him some love that way. 

[the-edge-of-great]

Let’s Talk Mech-X4!

I’m in the mood to over analyze some characters, so here’s this. This is just me putting my opinion out there. Later I think I’ll actually dive into the development these guys have had since the first episode. I’ve been wanting to discuss this show for a while, too! Hope you enjoy :)

Sooo... Mech-X4 is a pretty cool show. It’s so much better than I was expecting for a Disney live action show. The CGI is pretty impressive for the channel it’s on and the plot is intriguing and different. The acting’s a bit mediocre, but I’m not too picky about that. I wish the fandom was a bit bigger, but I also like the size now. It’s easy to talk and get to know people :)

In order, my favorite characters are:

1. Spyder

2. Mark

3. Veracity

4. Harris

5. Ryan

Now now, that is just my opinion. Everyone has their own. Under the cut, I’ll explain why these characters are ranked how they are. Warning though, not all of this will be positive.

Possible spoilers ahead

Spyder

This may be just a me thing, but I’m always drawn to the comic relief characters on a team (Lance McClain, Sokka, Dez Wade (Austin & Ally) to name a few).

Spyder’s a character I can relate to. In his first appearance on the show, Spyder is ecstatic about Ryan making the vending machine malfunction and he just sits on the ground, savoring the unlimited supply of treats and thanking the heavens and honestly same. That is such a mood.

Everybody’s different in times of peril and hardships. Some people stay quiet, some lash out, some cry, and others make jokes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using humor to lighten a situation, and I hate the way Spyder’s attempts are treated as ‘immature’ and ‘not serious.’ This may be the biggest thing I can relate to with Spyder. When things get tough, I often try to make jokes to make myself or others laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, right? It helps. It doesn’t help for all people or it doesn’t make sense to all people, so sometimes it’s written off as the person not taking the situation seriously and that is just ridiculous.

Another thing that’s ridiculous is how Spyder’s treated. If I were in his shoes, I’d walk away from that entire group. Of course, I’ve already been through the hard time of losing friends and I’m wiser because of it, so that’s a simpler solution for me to say. Maybe not leave this current group, but I do wish he had other people to turn to. He endures constant abuse from his team, if not his friends then Leo. What was it Leo said when they thought Spyder had done something right? “He’s finally proved himself an important asset to the team?” (Don’t quote me on that, I can’t remember the exact line). That just. Ugh. That was in no way, shape, or form the right thing to say. Spyder is an original team member. Mech-X4 would be goners without him. It just bugs me. I hate how Disney shows always have to have that one character that everyone treats like trash just because they’re the comic relief character. Sometimes, those characters develop and earn some respect, but this season (probably the series) is almost over and I have yet to see any kind of actual development for Spyder. Then again, Pearce (Spyder’s actor) did just post on Insta about Spyder solving a “perplexing problem,” so hopefully that earns him some brownie points on the team. 

In conclusion, Spyder’s my favorite character. He’s underrated, the team’s underdog. He’s delivered too many blows than he deserves. He has average intelligence on a team with geniuses (minus Ryan. Mr. Leader seems to forget that he’s not a genius either). Spyder’s my favorite character because I can relate to him the most. If he doesn’t get more recognition in the rest of this season, I’m gonna rage.

Mark

I will give credit to the creators on Mark’s character. They’ve written him out to be the perfect older jock brother. I myself have an older brother who was popular and great at sports in high school. He and his friends picked on me all the time. I endured the same sibling abuse that Ryan does. It was terrible, but I gotta admit that I wasn’t complaining much when ten football players came over to swim at my house after practice in the summer ;). Just, everything about Mark being the king of the school and making fun of Ryan and the whole shebang is 100% accurate and I love it so much. Also despite it all, he and Ryan are close at home (even before Mech-X4). All of it is so incredibly relatable. I haven’t really connected with siblings (on Disney anyways) as well as I have with these two. I love it.

That may be the biggest reason Mark’s at number two. Everything Mark did regarding teasing and name calling and pranking was justified to me by just being an older brother. I watched the first episode, listening to Ryan complain and plot some revenge against Mark, and all I could think was same. It’s the struggles younger siblings face that tie us together, I guess. I also liked how, as the show progressed, Mark started treating Harris and Spyder kinda like his little brothers, too. He poked fun at them still, but he didn’t threaten the freshmen when they poked fun back. Mark’s protected them the same way he’s protected Ryan. They really have become a family since this whole thing started, and that’s just beautiful.

Veracity

She hasn’t been in the spotlight long, so this explanation will be short. Being a female myself, I’m a sucker for girls who are confident in what they do. I also love though that she doesn’t know everything, as mentioned by Harris. She’s incredibly intelligent, but she isn’t an expert on the world. I like the balance between the two and that both sides of her have been shown to her friends and the viewers. :)

Harris

Harris is adorable. He’s a scary smart, hilarious smol bean and should be protected, but could probably likely handle himself on his own. There wasn’t really anything that stood out to me for Harris. Unlike the previous characters, I couldn’t find anything to really relate to. He’s a great friend, caring, loyal, the voice of reason everybody needs. The only thing I don’t like is that he’s too much like a dad. I mean, he’s really mature for his age. I wonder if that is because of something that’s happened in the past or if he’s just naturally more mature (though in my experience, you don’t just be more mature than the rest of your peers. There’s gotta be something that molded you into that more mature figure). I love Harris’s catchphrases. I love his humor. I love his little rivalry with Veracity. He’s a fun character with a strong determination to be the best he can be, he just doesn’t top the other three. *shrugs*

Ryan

I... Okay. Let me just say this: I don’t hate Ryan. He’s done a fantastic job getting a hang on those powers and defending the city the best he can. He’s dealt with being adopted and going through the whole process of searching for his father really well. Kudos to him, really.

The thing is though, I dislike Ryan. He acts on impulse, putting his own desires above his team’s. When someone calls him out this, he guilt trips them into doing what he wants. He’s impatient, willing to risk his team drowning instead of just waiting a few more days. I believe there’s a bit of serial killer tendencies rattling around that brain of his, but that’s a topic for a different day. 

Look, I do not believe Ryan’s a good leader, at all. He just has the technopathic ability and the robot. Basically, he has all the power, so they don’t really have a choice but to follow. He has potential, of course. He could be a great leader one day, but if I were on his team at the moment, I wouldn’t follow him anywhere.

I know it’s probably an unpopular opinion to be so against Ryan, but I’ve been brooding over this since the first season. He’s a very complex character, I’ll give him that. There’s more to him than meets the eye, I think. Still, he’s not climbing my favorites ladder anytime soon. Maybe it’ll change when the show returns!?

Anyways, thanks for reading my little (actually super long) rant here. Agree, disagree, have any opinions on it? Feel free to tell me! What’s your character ranking? :)

[amwritingmeta]

Cas’ Deciding Moment in S13 (this is so Wild Spec)

Please, please, don’t read this if the idea of human!Cas in any way upsets you, okay? I’m not writing this post to anger or appall. This is entirely my own speculation regarding Cas’ arc this season, based in my own hopes for his character progression. I know how much we all love him, and I sincerely don’t want to get anyone in a slapping-faces-because-I-can’t-take-this-shit type of mood. You may slap me if you forego this plea and read this post and want to slap me. *perhaps this post is a ploy to get people to slap me* *shhhhh*

What I Hope Happens to Cas, in Some Narrative Shape or Form, in S13:

1. I hope we see, or it’s implied, that he’s faced with a choice in the Empty and that it’s his own choice to go back to Earth fully-fledged.

2. I hope this is the right choice made for the wrong reasons, meaning–

–to go fight a war –to raise Jack right –to protect the people he loves –Cas once more dresses himself as the weapon, believing, as ever, that his grace, his wings, his powers are the only things about him that will make him a force to be reckoned with –Cas still believing this is true makes returning fully-fledged a choice made for the wrong reasons –but it’s the right choice because Cas has to come back fully-fledged in order to finally gain perspective on what his grace, his wings, his powers really are, what they’ve always been: a yoke, something to hold him back and keep him in his place, a place he’s never chosen for himself, merely been duty bound to.

3. I hope, at some point this season, that fully-fledged, reset, BAMF Castiel is faced with this truth and that it’s delivered through a situational challenge–

–that situational challenge could be Cas being told to bow down to Heaven fully (a Heaven possibly under the new direction of the fanatical Michael, if he crosses over between worlds)  –in this situational challenge, Cas finds himself reminded of Naomi’s brainwashing, of her saying he came off the assembly line wrong, and finally he’ll begin to see his powers for what they really are: a weakness. –I hope that whatever the circumstances surrounding this situation is - hopefully one that is overtly dramatic and foreshadowed - they serve to lead Cas into doing what Anna did, that the circumstances lead to him cutting off his wings and choosing to become human, because he refuses to serve Heaven for another second.

(as he’s already in a vessel we’ll just forget about Anna falling from Heaven and being separated from her grace etc.) (I’d love for Cas’ humanity to be wholly an individual experience… but, again, not terribly fussed)

4. I hope human!Cas happens, and I hope he happens sooner than later, because to me it feels imperative to his character progression that he takes this leap and faces this oncoming war as a human.

This also makes sense to me where the narrative stakes are concerned –>

–> fully-fledged Cas poses a problem because he more or less negates the stakes (the brothers are never in peril of death when they can call out for Superman… sorry, for Cas and he appears) so to have him come back in order to guide Jack in how to open up the rift, for example, and have Cas with his angel mojo back, only to pull that safety rug out from under him in some way… oh it could be beautiful and so fitting for his individual arc.

5. It also gives me this immediate sense of balance because of the Battle of the Brothers angle, where - if we get human!Cas - Michael represents Heaven, Lucifer Hell and Cas Humanity, all three of these concepts knitted together in Jack, who is also the knitting point for TFW, while TFW - with human!Cas onboard - are completely equal for the first time ever (since there’s no cock blocker angel named Gadreel to put the power of Heaven in Sam).

But leaving that for another post.

6. I have a second scenario in mind, where Cas’ refusal to bow to Michael (because he’s powerful enough to do rip another angel’s wings off…) makes Michael do just that - tear off Cas’ wings - and tell him that if he loves man more than his family, he can live and die as a man.

Cas having the choice stripped off him, like it was stripped by Metatron, would serve as punishment for not learning his lessons and choosing to come back fully-fledged, his forced humanity enabling him to learn his final lessons so that he can reject an offer of his powers restored to him by the end of the series.

But I’d rather he makes the BAMF choice for himself now.

They could still have him grappling with it, with the enormity of it, but also show him embracing his new existence even more than he did in the previous human!Cas arc.

7. I love the idea of all this tying into Dean’s freak-out in 12x20, where he did not see Cas looking back at him. The way I see it, the guy he did see was Castiel, which was why he was so utterly freaked: all that growth reduced to nothingness and Cas, his Cas, gone. Dean saw this BAMF Angel of the Lord, who was reliably unreliable and came and went as he pleased, who was such an overwhelming, startling, breathtaking presence that Dean tried - and most often than not failed - to bring him down to Earth as his Cas was burned away. (wrong of course - all wrong wrong wrong) (but it’s an intriguing thread that they might be playing with here)

So, yeah, I think we’re getting Castiel back not only because it’s important he goes through this final stage before his transformation can actually be complete and his choice to become human feels fully informed by the shit-fest that is Heaven, but because Cas returning as BAMF Warrior of Heaven on a mission to protect Jack is going to throw Dean off completely. 

I mean, Dean won’t know what the fuck to do, right?

He’ll be so ecstatic to have Cas back and alive, and he IS Cas… and still, he isn’t. I can’t wait to see what they do with it!! It’s a remarkably effective way to slow the love story down, now that Dean is poised for self-examination and real fucking growth. If Cas had come back human then, yeah, the way that they’re truly going balls out with Destiel this season means it simply would not have worked. But if Cas is fully-fledged and becomes human by episode… idk, timelines are so fucking hard, but say by 13x12… 

Oh my God, the brain delights if we get that slow build between human!Cas and Dean. Like super slow. Like the human!Cas arc and all the innuendo and flirtation was like a blitz view of what they could be like if both were feeling somewhat on equal footing. 

And do you know what else it might mean, if this wild speculation is even in the ballpark of what is up ahead for Cas and Dean?

It might mean that they are building the love story from scratch, tying it back to the beginning for more callbacks than in 12x19, more callbacks that aren’t just spot-it-if-you-know-it, but that actually draws on that old amazingly taut chemistry between these two men, who are so alike and equally stubborn and omfg it could be glorious. Thelma and Louise moments, PLEASE, give us loads of Thelma and Louise moments. Awkward!Dean is my sweet cherry pie!! (and yours too I bet) (if you like sweet cherry) They would do this to ease the GA into the very real realness of how these two men are meant to be together.

I’ve said all this before, many many times, but I’ll say it again and again because goddamnit if this isn’t where this is headed. *hat-eatage*

Here’s what I see: 

I see them pushing Dean’s character progression so that, once Cas comes back, Dean is ready to relate to him differently. The fact that Cas has had a reset should, absolutely, give Dean pause, and Cas pause, too, but my hope is that Dean is way too far gone now to even start back peddling. He’s in love with Cas and he has, by some miracle, gotten Cas back, so Dean will try to, awkwardly, show his feelings. Dean wants to show this angel that he matters to him. And it’ll be tentative as all fuck, and it’ll be scary, too, but Dean won’t back down because, damnit, he lost Cas once and he cannot do it again.

((The strain on Dean of fully-fledged Cas fluttering in and out, though. Oh man. And will Cas start out with ties to Heaven again, or purely Jack?? What about that smiley angel who stood by his dead body on that table? What’s her play?? Will Cas’ possible ties to Heaven grow and solidify as the episodes roll by? Oh so much fun!! They can have so much fun with this!!))

I see them reliving Cas and Dean’s greatest hits, putting them face to face in long silent stares and Sam somewhere nearby clearing his throat. While Jack observes them, entranced and fascinated. And of course there’ll be head butting and I really really want protective!Dean, wether Cas is an angel or not, because Cas has died - every time except for one - as an angel, so his powers don’t exactly mean he’s invulnerable and the last time he damn near died for good so Cas can just stay behind him, thanks very much. Ohhhhh. PLEASE PLEASE. We want it! We all want it!!

Keep them together! Please. If it’s made sweet and irresistible and undeniable, the GA will be as enamoured with them as the rest of us have always been. And if they’re not - FUCK THEM. My God, Dean and Cas deserve this. They both deserve to be happy!! Together! But the deciding moment will be when Cas decides, for himself, to become human, and the beauty of the above setup is that even if we see Dean trying to show Cas how he feels, fully-fledged and utterly graced Cas will not be able to relate to Dean’s flirtation (I mean, hell, even very humanised Cas in S12 still squinted at Mandy flirting with him in the absolutely most audacious manner one can flirt with another person) and the love story won’t kick off before Cas is human.

And once he is human, well, then there’s the fear as an obstacle to overcome because, all of a sudden, the thought of a future together will seem very real. And possibly probably very, very, very scary. :P *crossing fingers and toes*

I so see positive endgame, my peeps. All the way!!