#it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave

[silenthillbunni]

🌧️🫧💭

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Dude the thing i think is so cool is how charlie condi and bizly seem 2 think niklaus is the big bad guy of riptide and will inevitably be fought someday. Bc like. Idk that just feels like it Wont happen. Bc like. Niklaus isnt a Bad guy. And he also doesnt want to fight, thats one thing grizz said in his vvery first encounter. Niklaus doesnt Wanna fight anyone he just wants. Whatever it is he wants idrk that much tbh but its like idk. He wants maybbe a good story, or to have fun makin deals or to be like the dm of this silly world or whatever it is he wants. And hes like. So incredibly neutral in everything and so just. Like. Hes obviously very powerful, and ovviously has a lot of ties to everything, but smth important abt him is that he Isnt A Bad Guy andni juet think its so cool how like the 3 players do see him as the main antagonist. Bc like i do sometimes too. But i mean, 106 episodes in, hes never been much of an antagonist rlly ? Like. Hes never negatively impacted the crew, despite making deals with them. The terms of his deals are vague and open ended and could be literally anything. Like, gills favour ? It could literally be fuckin anything, and like we saw in the stone age just roll what if, his intentions with the favour then werent some evil cunning ruse it was just. He needed some help. So he asked. And it was incredibly neutral (even if that what if devolved into chaos, that was because of the albatrio, niklaus never asked them to kill all those people, and the ending is honestly i think just grizz joining in on the chaos bc niklaus' main goal is definitely not to open interdimensional portals to put on a tv show for the prime defenders) anyways that favour is just like. I almost see it as just precautions. Like if niklaus gets in trouble, heres a nice backup plan. And chips is sooo open ended, it depends entirely on gills favour, so thats like. Not Bad Guy Shit either. And jays is SO ambigious. A name and a command?? I think the characters definitelt assume itll be like "kill chip" or some shit like that, but again its just. Fuckin. Neutral. Like all niklaus' deals w the albatrio have been soooo neutral and dependent on what ACTUALLY happens w them, and yet these 3 still see him as the big bad guy BECAUSE of the black ooze n shit w all his other dealmakers. But like. Those ppl asked 4 sorta Eh stuff (mostly. I think). The mayor of loffinlot wanted power i guess, bc he was like. I actually dont remember ok pretend im saying smth smart rn. And like malice wanted fame and wealth n whatever idk she wanted 2 be a celebrity which likeee isnt that bad but like. Okayy I Guess. But like it was a selfish want rlly, whereas chip jay n gills deals havent rlly been that selfish. Like gill wanted 2 help the town, chip wanted to help ollie and know if arlin was okay, and jay wanted to help gill. And likeee we dunno boss blossoms deal but ezme also wanted immortality which is likeee. Yyea. So like the albatrio rlly only asked for selfless shit, and they havent been gooped, and the other deal makers ased 4 selfish shit, and they were gooped. Altho granted, selfishness isnt inherently bad and selflessness isnt inherently good, in these cases its like. Idk im not making sense all i do is put togegher silly patterns and ramble for a long time. Anyways. Niklaus is cool and i loveee morallyy neutral characters hes so silly and its very interesting how the players see him as a bad guy, despite him not rlly being one. The end.

[fallindomino]

how i would have changed s2 of hsmtmts

obvious disclaimer but im not a screenwriter or anyth so im not claiming what i want is best, this is just for fun lololol

okay so first of all nini would still have dropped out of yac but she wouldn’t have gone back to east, she would have transferred to north bc she was too ashamed to tell anyone she left at first and maybe she still wants to explore who she is away from ricky and the others

nini could join north’s batb and this way maybe we could have some playful rivalry with lily and nini and more scenes with antoine shdhdjdj also it could have been a great opportunity to flesh out lily’s character so those scenes where she reaches out to ricky and her confession at the end of the season actually make sense lol

speaking of ricky ,,, i think he should have left the play at some point hear me out. he only joined in the first place because of nini and barely wanted to do it at all once he realized he wasn’t gonna be able to perform with her. he could have joined crew and been a manager with natalie or smth considering he rlly does see the theater gang as a second family. also this would leave so much room for ej and ricky development and bants since ej joined the av club and began to pursue film. they could have some convos where idk ricky asks ej how he figured out what he wanted to do after duke didn’t work out and ricky could actually develop some interests that arent the play or nini ,,, maybe fucking art club i mean he did p good on that centerpiece for carlos’ quinceañera.

with ricky not being the beast anymore i think seb should take his place that would be soooo good. and since seb isn’t chip anymore carlos won’t make those snide comments about chip being a small unimportant role and we can just cut that whole fight bc it was dumb and bad. we could still have seb being insecure that carlos is only dating him bc there aren’t really any other gay guys at school. in a heartbeat is great and i did like ricky being supportive in the background it was kinda funny too idk dhdjdjfj

ooh i almost forgot abt rini ahshdj okay so i still think they should break up. but in my version there’s no ricky pulling an ej 1.0 and deleting comments off of nini’s insta, cause with ricky in art club and nini at north trying to figure out what she wants i think one of them would realize that they’re going in different directions and only got back tgt because they made each other feel safe cause what they had was familiar. this could be triggered by ricky mentioning smth abt nini at yac and then nini breaks down and tells him that she dropped out and is at north and doesn’t know where she’s going. and then they can both realize they aren’t good for each other rn and have a less tragic mutual break up.

honestly i really liked the scene of nini taking charge after miss jenn freaked out cause with the character detail of nini giving every person in the cast of productions she’s in a thank you note she just seems really like someone who is suited to lifting others up. this could still be explored at north, maybe she could help lily through her issues that were briefly implied in ep 11 and nini realizes she wants to be a drama teacher and encourage kids to go off book and put themselves into their acting, something she couldn’t have at yac.

okay now ej ,,, so like i said in ricky’s section, more bants between them cause i feel like friendships kinda fell by the wayside due to all the relationships so more friendship !!!! also the scene where ej tells his dad he’s not going to duke shouldn’t have been an ending scene, it should have been fleshed out with his dad pushing back saying how he pulled all these strings to get him in and ej saying he doesn’t wanna go if his own hard work couldn’t get him there. and also more scenes of ej doing av club things !!! and realizing he rlly likes film and wants to do it OMG IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL AND ASKED THE DOCUMENTARY CREW ABT THE FILM INDUSTRY god i would love that. the only scene we rlly got of ej doing film things was at the quinceañera which made me kinda sad. uhhh also i just wanted to specifically mention how ej got mr mazzara that job at cal tech bc it really showed how he wanted to be there for people not just for gina, who he had a crush on, but for mr mazzara who supported him outside of romance, so i wanna keep that for sure.

gina !!! okay so i mostly liked her arc in this season, the only changes i would make would be to flesh it out a teeny bit (god this hypothetical s2 would have to be like 22 eps at least shdjdjdjfj) anyways besides ashlyn singing home to get gina to stay i think there should be a scene where they actually talk in her room abt how gina feels safer when shes on the run (second chance reference ilysm) hhhh and also a scene of her and carlos actually working out compromises for their choreo cause i liked that bit of development too and fleshing that out would make gina an even better foil for lily, who felt a need to hog the spotlight like gina used to. with gina’s own arc fleshed out her character would feel more whole independently from romance and portwell would be even more rewarding than it is in the current s2. the only thing i would really change abt portwell is that they would kiss !!! in the finale but thats bc im biased.

ashlyn should have gotten a more fleshed out storyline about being insecure about not being a good enough belle or the typical belle. there were some throwaway lines when north did their typical dramatics but the only two real scenes that showed it were when ash talked to big red about it and when she was telling nini she wanted to do a run in “home” bc lily did it. ashlyn should get more screen time where she has to grapple with the reasons she doesn’t feel good enough and big red can still support her but also gina too bc i would like more roommate besties interaction.

kourtney could still date howie, that harry potter shit was cute but there needs to be smth else for kourtney’s arc. idk she’s still into fashion so maybe she could be out here trying to create her own line or smth? this doesn’t have to be resolved in s2 like making a wholeass line takes time and she could work on it into a potential s3. kourtney just didnt get much outside of howie and the stuff at the beginning of the season where she said nini inspired her to be independent and that's why she got a job was just dropped?? so i think that fashion could fill that for her if she’s still dating howie cause like having her whole arc just be the pizza place kinda overlaps w big red’s mini arc abt how he wasn’t settling for hospitality, its what he wants to do with his life.

ik what ur thinking. anna, even if you added more episodes, where would u find the room to add all these plotlines?? well first we cut (most of) the seblos fight, so thats some time saved. honestly most of the time that we r going to gain is going to be from cutting ms jenn’s time. things like ms jenn’s and nini’s car ride would get cut, but mostly all of ms jenn’s romances would get cut down. considering she’s the teacher and isn’t actually a character with an arc how does she have THREE love interests this season?? like all of the weird tension between her and zack can be cut, like just some short scenes of them being competitive can stay. all of the stuff with ricky’s dad can go bye bye we don’t need it. i did like her w mr mazzara so most of that can stay i just didn’t like how he said he would give up cal tech for her, ew no that would be gone.

the MENKIES !!!! this is the last thing im gonna address cause in a perfect world every character would get a long fleshed out arc but then the season would be waaay too long and also im mostly trying to work within material the show gave so this is mostly made up of “realistic” deviations from what actually happened. lol idk what that even means it just makes sense to me. but anyways!! uhhh bro idk i thought them dropping the menkies was funny but it also made the finale really BAD lmao. in this finale, seb is the beast, east still had to deal w the fact that they’re underfunded compared to north but no one is injured, lily is less of a poorly written character and maybe ppl are even rooting for her, and wow i just realized i never actually said what role i think nini should have in north’s show. OOH she could be student director instead of lily cause lily both being in the play while also directing was weird considering omg i just checked and according to her wiki page shes a FRESHMAN?? and they let her be student director? lol hell nah. okay so with all that in mind ,,, the menkies should have been the season cliffhanger instead of portwell. east and north should both be nominated, both schools perform at the menkies, and then the award winner is about to be announced and THATS when it cuts to natalie and the end of the season.

one, this actually gives more tension for a summer s3 as we would be waiting to see the consequences of whichever school won. also i bet people would be wondering if nini’s gonna be transferring back to east or staying at north. people would also prob wonder if ej would be getting the scholarship if east won and what that would mean for his interest in film.

lmao that got longggg and idk if anyone’s even gonna read this but it was fun to do :D

[anatolypilled]

adhd freddie: a mini essay and why it’s (basically) canon

aka: freddie talks abt adhd freddie for a little too long to the point where you have to ask yourself “is this really canon or r they just projecting too much” 

- he gets bored. very easily. i feel like a very good example of this is der kleine franz. it’s been only ten minutes and he says he’s getting antsy, unlike florence, who’s pretty okay just sitting there waiting for anatoly. then he goes off to do something else... look at a mountain

- he’s very sensitive to sound / the environment around him. i’m pretty sensitive to sound as well, and freddie is pretty much... me... this is mostly *real* in kennedy center chess. he talks about the lights flickering/buzzing, anatoly’s coughing, the board being “too shiny” which could be his paranoia, but it can also be his adhd .... also i think he experiences a bout of sensory overload there 

- he’s pretty impulsive and you can see that in one night in bangkok. esp during the bway plot... it’s something he decides on right after the fight w florence, and there he gets mugged n shit ... but clearly it was just an impulsive decision ??? 

- this one goes hand in hand w kc chess, but he is also vry forgetful. not regarding chess, but regarding things... he needs to do daily. they make a big deal abt it in kc bc florence always has to remind freddie to take! your! pills! which again could be the paranoia, but also could be his adhd ??? 

- i don’t think i need to explain his hfx on chess lol 

- he’s also a very ??? fidgety person if u didn’t notice ??? maybe im just a little #obsessive but in chess broadway casnoff does a rlly good job of showing this. i think it’s during hotel scene w walter/freddie/florence and he’s practicing w florence... and he’s literally all over the fucking place. man is sitting one second then changing his sitting position the next doing it all over again getting up movin his hands around like /?!?@!?#@ 

- WAIT fuck also covering his impulsiveness, during how many women (god if u couldnt tell im too attached to bway chess) it’s kinda just him ?? saying shit without thinking ?? in general i think freddie says a lot of shit just to say shit (press conference etc.) the “im 90% of the way to the top of the heap” “thanks, 10% you got me cheap” “no no florence i mean we’re 90%—” 

- how many women. in general 

- his fuckin. rsd. which is a whole fucking ted talk in and of itself 

- ok. so. his rsd manifests itself in so many different ways throughout this damn musical. but it’s very prominent with his relationship to florence, to his mother, and to chess. 

- when he ruins his relationship for florence, freddie has this big, big outburst that is: one night in bangkok (btw the fact that chess has so many. canons/not canons is too confusing but here im talking abt chess bway) which is him wandering the streets of a place he’s never been to, with no ppl guiding him, drinking and partying and doing drugs, then getting mugged... because of what happened w florence. as well as his extreme anger towards her when he sees her again after mountain/terrace duet ... 

- another thing that has probably attributed to the severity of his rsd is his. childhood trauma ... esp with his mother. in kc chess he becomes us chess champion at 11, and it remains canon that his father leaves when he’s 12 so it’s like. “holy shit. i win all this shit and you still cant believe in me? you still have to reject mom and i?” and this was just . a very bad experience for him. PITY THE CHILD IS LITERALLY. him talking abt how he avoided certain situations because he didn’t want to experience the rejection that he thought was gonna come ???!@??! even today ??? he doesn’t call his mother bc he doesn’t want to face the rejection (that probably isn’t going to happen because look how famous he is ??? but man thats how rsd works it sucks #lol) that he’s expecting already. HELLO ?????  

- lastly ... his rsd w chess ... freddie does not like losing (but who does) ... bc, to him, losing = rejection. losing = disappointment. losing = losing the few ppl who keep him around. and .... do you see the shit he pulls to not lose? the yogurt, the accusations, all because he was close to losing the game. “he’s a bad sport blah blah blah” but he goes to extreme lengths to make sure. he doesn’t. lose. 

- some final things to note: his anger! his restlessness! 

- anyway. end of post bc this has gotten too long i fear but uh, if ur a adhd freddie believer pls like. interact or smth / talk to me bc adhd freddie is smth i hold very close LOL this was a fucking mess but hey 

[zhuhongs]

Upon rereading tgcf, one of the biggest complaints I have is how lackluster all the extra chapters were. literally none of them were good and all contained rlly gross and harmful sentiments (like the amnesia one which.. yea.. or all the things implying xl should get pregnant for hc thus equating gay relationships with hetero ones and playing into the wife thing and just GOD I HATE MXTX) 

There were a lot of little plot points i wish that had been further elaborated on more in the extras as opposed to hualian being ... like that. I had enough. Like mdzs had actaully good extras (minus the incense burners) that were nice side stories that elaborated more on the characters. Like the hook one with the juniors was so cute and i loved seeing them grow more. Or the lotus pod extras omg.. im such a lotus pod extra stan. those were so cute and gave us a lot of good insight into just how lovestruck lwj was during the times when he didn’t see wwx. mxtx should've stuck to those sorta extras in tgcf but NOOO. SO I have a list of so many other more interesting things those chapters couldve been spent on like:

A resolution on He Xuan’s revenge and his character arc. Bc its implied He Xuan is still hanging out and watching over sqx and that taking revenge didn’t fully satisfy him bc ok.. yea shi wudu is dead but he xuans family will never come back. Now what does he have to live for?? i wish we couldve seen a look into his life during the entire ordeal. like a chapter from his perspective while he was posing as Ming Yi  and maybe a look at a conversation btw he xuan and the real ming yi or a chapter after SQX was banished to see what he’s doing now. Also what did he xuan owe hua cheng money for anyways?? Like ik not every little thing has to be explained but I Want to Know. PLEASE more goth boyfriend content now I just wanna see him :,((

a better resolution of yin yu and quan yizhens storyline. im still mad abt how that plot point was split btw books 3 and 5  when it was rlly out of place and  there were other more pressing plot matters and it just rlly deserved more time. Also i thought yin yu died!?!?!? but apparently one of the extras says he’s alive and man... i;m not reading any more of the extras to see that, give me a full yin yu and quan yizhen chapter.. fuck.

a day in the life of the guoshi fangxin or general hua PLEASE especially like one where hua cheng was SO CLOSE to meeting xie lian but had no clue that xie lian was there at the time but the two did smth that inadvertantly helped the other and they still were connected even though they hadnt met omg pls that’d be so nice. like imagine Hua cheng catching a glimpse of the guoshi in public in yong’an while he’s trying to follow some lead that points to xie lian or maybe following a lead to capture qi rong bc he said he knew qi rong was a part of the yong’an stuff and originally thought the guoshi was one of qi rongs pawns. like can you IMAGINE him getting so close. but at the last second he did smth small that impacted xie lian. like they bumped into eachother on the street or smth. god i’d go crazy

OR vice versa.. like a day in the life of the young ghost king hua cheng. Like again, one of my biggest issues was that hua cheng just knew everything and its never really explained how he got all of that info. like yes he’s been alive very long and has eyes and ppl working for him everywhere but like... how did he build that network?? I’d love to see a chapter of young ghost king hua cheng travelling around trying to learn as much as he can abt the world and how it can help bring him to xie lian. and the two maybe are in the same kingdom for a bit and they don’t meet exactly but hua cheng stops some fight or something and helps xie lian indirectly or maybe xie lian is performing on the street in some costume and hua cheng doesn’t recognize him and smiles and gives him a coin or smth. idk i’m just dying for any sorta extra chapter or fic like that. i’m honestly so tempted to write my own but i cant write

also!! we’ve seen how xie lian picks up people down on their luck near him and show them kindness (like banyue, lang ying, xiao ying, he tried to with san lang but we know how that ended lmao) so i’d love to see another little vignette of him doing that on his travels and how every person he meets teaches him smth about life and being a good person and idk, i just think it’d be rlly sweet. i love this facet of his character and feel like we didn’t see enough of it towards the end.

ALSO hua cheng only seems to respect one heavenly official besides xie lian and thats yushi huang.. i assume thats mostly bc she was the only one to help xie lian and let him use the rain master hat to bring water to yong’an. I was thinking maybe when he was a new supreme he had run into trouble and maybe was picked up by the rain master and helped him heal and in return he promised to help protect her village from harm in the future. Like i know a heavenly official wouldn’t cooperate with a ghost like that but yushi huang is different and doesn’t really care about the heavens so i think she would protect him if he could do something to benefit her village. ik this is kinda far fetched but when he first became a supreme I’m sure a bunch of ppl probably tried to mess with him and didn’t rlly believe him to be undefeatable bc he hadn’t proved himself yet also i doubt all his power came overnight. he had to learn how to use it once he escaped the kiln. and some group probably thought they could weaken him somehow. I’m thinking maybe a rlly well formed group of ghosts actually caught him off guard once and he had to retreat and was picked up by the rain master and stayed with her and learned from her a bit. i think it’d be a cool concept also i just rlly want more yushi huang content and i’m on their friendship agenda bc he rlly did seem to actually respect her when she first appeared and i think it’d be cool if the two had some history together.

Also idrc if this was addressed I couldve missed it But!! Did xie lian ever tell Hua cheng that the reason he got the curse shackles and was banished again in the first place wasnt bc jun wu wanted to punish him, but because he requested it. And specifically requested it bc he felt guilty abt letting wu ming take the human face disease and disperse for his sake. So he took the shackles and descended to atone for that?? Bc I dont recall hua cheng learning that bc his soul was already dispersed at that point so it didnt follow him and xie lian didnt say anything so uhhh... someone should tell hua cheng that. Like I dont think xie lian rlly said how much hua cheng meant to him and didnt show him he was loved in grand ways. Like xie lian did always care for bc in other ways but I think if hua cheng learned abt this on screen it wouldve been such a great moment and I'm rlly surprised mxtx didnt address this iirc!?!? Like imagine jun wu telling Hua cheng this in the kiln bc xie lian wouldnt say it himself. Imagine how cool that would be.

Also a small thing adding into the whole young ghost king Hua cheng stuff. Its implied and p much stated that hua cheng isnt his real name. That he likely doesnt have a real name bc his parents died? (It's not clear. I'm still mad at mxtx for not making his childhood clearer). So I'd like to see when and why hua cheng chose that name for himself. The new tgcf ending song kinda hints at its meaning with the lyrics "for you I'd fill a city of flowers" as xie lian is the flower wielding martial god so it's probably inspired by that. Also xie lian saved hua cheng from leaping off the city walls but I'd love to hear him say it bc the implication of his name didnt dawn on me for quite a bit and I dont know if everyone made the connection. Again I sure as hell didnt. So itd be cool to see a chapter that takes place in his past after just ascending as a supreme

Overall I rlly think tgcf had a lot more potential to be even better and a lot of that comes down to fleshing out the side characters and letting hualian have more of a storyline independent of one another. like i know the appeal and message of tgcf is that through love, people can overcome anything, but fuck man. i just wanna see what these two (mostly hua cheng) where like in the absence of each others presence. Part of what I really liked abt mdzs is that we got to see that longing develop btw wangxian when the two weren’t together and how they thought about each other and did things in thei others spirit bc they knew the other wouldve done the same thing. but whatever, mxtx was too consumed by her own unhealthy idea of what devotion and true love looks like but still. i rlly think the extras couldve helped the story be better rather than be fujoshi fuel that i try to bleach from my mind -_-

[justastraightupmess]

snw-cnvs replied to your post: snw-cnvs replied to your post: ...

howd u end it

okAY sO

the thing i decided on was levi is in school maybe 15-17 and its abt his mama and his papa kinda and also him being a shit.

the basic outline of the plot was like this: starts at school levi is sitting with a bunch of girls being all omg levi heart eyes so hot so great we lOve u then a mean bully wearing a backwards cap comes over and slams his hand on levis desk all like fuk u levi u think ur top shit u aint and levi is all ugh this bitcc again what do u want lmao and then bully keeps going so levi stands up and is all smirking like alright bitcc u want some lets go pretty boy

then it cuts from their fight and levi is in some weird empty place (a dream) and hes liek ?? wut ?? then he hears sb call to him and he turns like O.O wut and then sees this giant glowing woman all godly like and shit is like  ;A; mama is that rlly you ?? omg i thought ive never get to meet you im so happy abt to cry and shit  and then she does an evil smirk like “mother ?? u think ur my son?? pls ur not worthy to be my son, filthy half mortal. ur not good enough etc etc”  and hes like ;;;;A;;;;; ma m a ?? and stuff and then she turns away and hes like nO mama come baCk then he wakes up in tears and it was all a dream

next day hes at school looking tired and down and grumpy.  but then bully comes back like haha fuck u and levi is like ugh. not in the mood fam.  but bully keeps going and ends up saying smth like “lol thats why u dont have a mum ;o” and then levi snaps and attacks/10

then it cuts to levi looking sad outside the principals office and silloutes of his dad and principal behind the door and the dudes all like “mr.fay this happens all the time. ur always down here bc levi is causing trouble. problem child etc etc. this is not on etc etc. ur a bad parent or whatever”  then papa fay comes out all sad and defeated but sees levi and smile like :’) its okay son levi feels rlly guilty

then its the next day levi looks int he mirrior like okay. new day new me i got this gonna do better for papa.

school time again and bully comes over and levi is all like “jfc are u like ?? obsessed with me or what ?? like wow” and bully gets kinda flustered and mad bc levi isnt taking the bait. he tells levi to get up so levi stands. then bully grabs his collar and levi is like “omg babe chill lmao” but then its like “bOO!” and leans forward like ehs gonna headbutt him so bully flinches and falls back on his ass all emabrrassed. and levi and everyone laughs. and thenn the last shot is levi looking down at him all smug. 

NOW. 

teacher said 1. the first fight scene isnt necessary i can cut it and start at the dream. but i wanted to make it like shown that hes always getting in fights this always happens kinda thing. and also establish levi as a cocky character

2. that his mum saying all that mean stuff tto him in the dream is a bit,,, harsh like yikes. and that all i’d need to do is have her turn away and leave and not say anything at all so its like conveyed she was never around/didnt have time for him. but idk bc i want her to be harsh?? thats what he thinks she thinks of him and also it kinda explains through that that hes a demigod not jsut some kind otherwise its not known. 

3. he said the ending isnt strong enough. i either need to have levi be the bigger person and grow if thats what i want from him. or have him be like, getting revenge or smth. which im gonna go for bc levi doesnt grow hes a petty bitch 

anYWAY. the small vague ideas i had were i end it either with levi pretending to be the bigger person but then lowkey trashing the bullies car at the end.  Or instead making it ??? somehow more to do with his demigodness ?? i was thinking like he starts talking shit at the bully like “wow ut pathetic, isnt he guys?? etc” and ends up kidna using the charmspeak thing and turning everyone against the bully like the whole class is behind levi laughing at him. and maybe like draw smth coming out of his mouth as he talks to show that its some sort of ?? power not just him talking. like maybe the bully has a few friends/goons on his side but at the end even they turn on him. and then maybe like one last shot of the bully sitting all by himself and levi surrounded by ppl smirking. and maybe he trashes his car as wlel idk

[kadywicker]

spoilery pros/cons list under the cut!

cons first

my biggest issue w/this movie was finn and poes plots. while they do get abt the same amount of screentime as rey smth just feels... very empty. poes plot is esp ooc and finns just... idk how to describe it other than empty? it left a lot to be desired 

the humor was weird??? like? sw is humorous yes but... it was very different. not in a good way. like yeah i snorted with the whole “i’m holding for hux” thing from poe bc i hate hux and that was a big mood but it felt very off for the film/universe. as did luke throwing the lightsaber. and some other moments i dont rlly remember

kylo ren shirtless scene was literally awful and as a lesbian i wanted to kms

holdo was??? so fuckin pointless oh my fuck literally every time she was on screen i just literally did not care

yoda being there what the fuc gk

kylo being a fucking dumbass and not wondering how luke got a lightsaber when he literally just broke the thing in half but ig it’s p in character for kylo ren to not think for once in his life

the times that finn/poe were put in harmful situations played for laughs. like.... yes, the same happened to rey too but it has much different vibes when its moc being targeted. intentional or not it was a bad call and just made me incredibly uncomfortable

paige dying :(

pros !

shockingly bc i think im the first person to say this, luke’s characterization. the main complaints have been: a) regretted not killing vader b) considered/tried to kill kylo c) too cynical. now as someone whos a certified Luke Stan im gonna debunk these bc every one of those is down to misinterpretation or misquoting of scenes. a) he never said he regretted saving his father. in fact, he still has his kyber crystal from his saber hanging on a necklace in his hut. the conversation went like this. “the jedi have done awful things etc etc they created vader” “and you saved him” luke is not the one listing saving him as a mistake of the jedi. it’s rey countering that luke saving him was smth good the jedi did. and luke DOESN’T disagree. his only argument is that he regrets that it made him a “legend” which in turn lead to him being blinded to how dark kylo had gotten. which is honestly perfectly in character for luke. only he would feel bad for smth like that and beat himself up over it bc as usual hes a sunshine boy b) also didnt happen. when we see the scene from kylos pov, he mistells rey the story to make it seem like luke was some evil vengeful master. nope. he literally ignited his lightsaber for like 2 seconds bc he saw how many ppl kylo was going to kill before he realized what he was doing and went to turn off his saber but kylo had already seen. it’s also made clear later that while hes sorry abt what happened (which, cmon, this is luke. him feeling bad abt shit isnt an indication that its villainized. he apologized to an alien that didnt like him in anh) that he knows he was right and that kylo doesnt have good in him anymore. kylo was still the one who destroyed the order. rey was never mad at luke for trying to kill kylo simply for the sake that she felt “bad” for kylo. she was pissed that, from the distorted version kylo showed her, it seemed as if he’d “created” kylo who’d killed so many ppl.  c) okay yes hes cynical. but he doesnt stay that way. look. what have we seen from luke in the ot? we’ve seen him feel guilty over goddamn everything always and try and be a self sacrificing dumbass every second bc of that (i mean this in a very fond way i love my son). so when he blames himself for this shit, he tries to hide himself away so he doesnt fuck things up. we cant forget that while luke was a softhearted, emotional hero, he also had a lot of moments where he was cynical or annoyed (all of anh, dagobah, points in rotj). still, he overcomes that and realizes that he CAN still help and that the jedi are still needed. he talks about hope and is his same sweet self to leia and everyone else in the resistance. he also does have his sweet moments with rey.

moving on tho. holy shit the blatant parallels they drew with luke & leia and rey & kylo more than ever convinced me that they’re either siblings or cousins. him leading her into an answer of her parents being nobodies when shes already told him thats her biggest fear definitely isnt a concrete answer. like. they literally create the same scenes between rey & kylo and luke & leia. the weird ass hand scene thats been floating around also happens between luke and leia via the force. luke and leia communicate via the force more than once in the same way rey and kylo do. rey leaves in nearly the exact same manner to go to kylo as luke did when leaving dagobah to save leia. rey and leia also feel luke die via the force and they both see him in the same way rey & kylo and luke & leia have been seeing each other. if this were just a bond by snoke, that bond wouldnt exist between rey & luke & leia as well. i’m just saying y’all. luke was told his entire life growing up that his parents were nobodies and it’s stated outright in anh and yet look @ where we are now lads

rose was such a sweetie?? i didn’t love her introduction for reasons i’m sure youve all read by now but the rest of the movie she was a rlly good character and that hope sw is always about.

finn is called a hero who knows right from wrong and fights for whats right. finn is also given so many hero moments in the movie that got everyone in the theater cheering. he kills phasma. also, although dj does try and sell the whole “the rebels are just as bad as the first order” bullshit, finn calls him on it and fully proves just how bullshit that is. it’s definitely not the message of the movie.

finn and reys reunion oh gm yg od. that was so SWEET. she buried her face in his neck and he nuzzled her hair and they were both smiling and clinging to each other it was real blessed. rey also keeps asking abt finn and finn keeps asking abt her and honestly i feel god in this chilis tonight

the only good thing kyle did in this movie was force throw hux against a wall and knock him out bc hes annoying and i might hate kyle but god what a big goddamn mood

kylos irredeemable and stated to be so by the end and u kno what? thank fucking god

yes luke dying sucked and as a luke stan im gonna live in denial forever but if theres any way luke skywalker would go out itd be sacrificing himself for everyone he loves so 

[rbbtrd]

I Love Healing

i wrote this when i was tryin to vent but i have no idea how to fuckin vent so instead i. tried to write out healings entire bg lmao a lot of brain stuff was goin on so it might not b. the best piece of literature uve ever read

some misc facts and other htings might b missing bc (points at how fucked my brain was and also how fuckin VAST healings character is and how much development he has)

//warnin theres kinda crass and sensitive language or whatever and there will b mentions of diff kinds of abuse in his story and other not good things under cut so my bad but i wasnt in a good state of mind and tryin to tag n warn u abt it all is skjncfdvav plus this was a vent post for me originally anyways lmao

//another warning lmao under the cut is a Wall Of Text there is a LOT of stuff under cut like 6000+ words so like. warned ya my pals

healing is my favorite fuckin oc and p much. why i fuckin stay alive sknfsef he means so so much to me and has so much meaning to me and is very very very very very very very important to me i fucking Love healing okay i project a lot (i.e All Of Myself) onto healing so he is p much almost quite literally me and vice versa but also not rlly??? its weird and complicated lmao i Love this man tho no one will ever love him more than i do i will fuckin Fight you hes so improtant to me

he is 57 yrs old, his birthday is march 17 but also dec 5th (its complicated) but mostly march 17, his favorite color is red not only bc im projecting but his first loves fav color was also red, he is 5″7 ft tall, hes very silly and kooky and tries his best to become happy and heal and learn and atone for what hes done and expereinced, he LOVES the sea and the ocean and anything relating them like the sea/ocean is very very very important to him for multiple reasons, also loves rabbits and goats and has 2 pet goats (i like to call em his service animals lol)

healing was born to both pure blood tiefling parents, his mother was a servant/slave that belonged on a ship and his father basically just knocked her up, he never met or knew anything about his father other than that he was a tiefling and misc stuff his mom/other servants had told him. his dad is mordecai ahkrah and hes chaotic evil and genuinely a very fucking awful person, his mom is ariarei kallies and is just?? kinda a chatoic neutral, maybe more of a lawful evil, but she has a very bad selfish personality and nasty. she holds no maternal feelings for healing and only sees him as a nuisance and only takes care of him (taking care of him means. The Bare Minimum. i.e- makin sure hes just Not Dead) bc she has to and kinda forcced to. healing does not see ariarei as his mother, but “as the woman who birthed me / brought me into this world” and stuff like that and therefore holds no feelings towards her like a child would w their mother, over the years, healing considers the ocean/sea as his mother more than ariarei and is more emotionally connected to the sea

 healings mom actually never named him, he was nameless/had no name up until the age of 27-28. both his mom and the owners of the ship and whoever hired him always only ever called him “boy”, “child”, “it”, “thing”, “errand boy”, “chore boy”, and names like that bc he never had a name and no one bothered to give him one. both his mom and the owners/ppl who hired him treated him very very poorly and did abuse him frequently in many different ways and manners (lmao projects myself onto my oc) so he has a lot of feelings and experiences w lots of kinds of traumas and abuse

he most specifically received a lot of physical abuse especially from ppl and verbal abuse, some but not too much emotional abuse, and also a handful of sexual abuse. at the time, he thought it was fine and normal and did not realized he was being abused bc “this is just how life is” bc he had literally. never heard of or experienced anything else other than a shit life.

he didnt rlly think anything of the poor treatment or the abuse bc this was all he ever knew, he grew up this way, so he thought it was normal and thought everyone didnt feel anything and if they did OF COURSE theyd b negative feelings, bc thats all u (healing at the time) r capable of feeling. he doesnt get out of this mentality until hes around 18-22

he receives a handful of scars and marks from his time as a servant, he got his first scar when he was a literal Baby bc he was cryin out and his ma got mad and upset abt and scratched his face thus resulting in his lip scar. when he was like 5-7 he met this other servant kid who had The Very Opposite mindset he had and was v bright and optimistic and he dragged healing along when he played and he broke smth and healing took the cover not bc he wanted to save this kid but bc it would be less troublesome bc then the current owner would only have to punish 1 child and the other kid was well liked on the ship unlike healing so then the morale of the servants wouldnt be affected. the owner beat him up p bad but it Wasnt Enough so he smashed healings face into the wooden boards so hard it Broke The Board and also broke his right horn, this also gave his scarring above his brow and stuff up to the broken horn. another prominent scar he has that holds memory to him is the scar on his chest above his heart, where he got that from a case where he was sexually abused and his abuser threatened to tear out his heart if he kept bein a brat. he has NO SCARS on his tail tho, but thats literally bc up until he was w morgan, he was just Lucky in not havin his tail injured. from the time he met morgan and beyond, he then started to actively protect his tail from harm and from ppl touchin it bc morgan said he rlly liked his tail and how it looked and how cool it was and from then on hes liek Oh

he constantly worked when he was of age to and started w small things and worked up to doin manual labor and other things, he only stayed w his mom up until the age of 11-12, after that they were separately sold to different ships and never saw eaqch other again. from that point on, he was switched around a few different ships and buyers, but was otherwise was still  just treated as cargo and property like he had been the past few years. 

the ship he was on at the age of 17 was stopped and liberated by a man named morgan wake (also can be written as morgain), a  human sailor captain (some kind of good, leanin on neutral or chaotic) who specializes in trade, cargo, and just transportation, but also will sell his abilities to fight/go into war or battle and liberates slave ships on his free time lol morgan becomes a Very Very Very important person to healing and is ESSENTIAL to shaping healing into who he is now. healing slowly falls in love with morgan over the years, but never tells morgan abt these feelins bc 1) he doesnt kno what the FUCk hes feelin lmao this boy has only experienced negative emotions and feelings up until he met morgan and 2) he thinks morgan will think hes weird or wrong or gross or smth. healing had absolutealy NO PLACE and NO ONE to go to after he was liberated so morgan saw this and was like Hey. You Should Come Work Under Me For MY Ship. morgan is a BIG BIG BIG guy on justice and equality and stuff for ALL PEOPLE and EVERYONE so this is also a reason why he let healing onto his ship of mostly humans and half-elves and halflings and also this part abt morgan rubs off on healing so healing also becomes a big guy on justice and equality and stuff

the ship morgan owns is a Lil prejudiced againt tieflings so they arent jumpin for joy when morgan makes healing his first mate at the age of 19 bc theyre. Gently Racist over tieflings but morgan kicks their ass and makes healing his first mate and right hand man anyways. at this point, healing is still nameless bc morgan tells him “i cant give you a name, a name is really important, its your identity and what makes you YOU, its ur soul and ur dreams and ur hopes, its YOU, you hear a name and u think of that person etc etc etc” and rlly cheesy stuff like that pertaining to names so morgan is Vehemently against naming healing and instead calls him “buddy”, “pal”, “friend”, “best friend”,  “first mate”, “mate”, and other various nicknames made over the years. he was very adamant on having healing name himself and refused to call him by a name that someone else gave him bc healing told him abt his mom and how he said that his mom wasnt rlly a mother in the first place

morgan knows Everything abt healing and healing w him vice versa bc when they first met and healing was still in his Uhm Nothing Matters Ill Tell You Everything mindset, he told morgan the story abt all his scars and what has happened to him up until that point and what people have done to him. morgan is truly very genuinely heartbroken over this?? bc healing was just Born into this world of shit and awful things that he didnt deserve and also the fact that healing just spoke of his abuse so freely and casually as if it meant nothing and didnt matter and healings view on his own life and life in general due to how he has lived so far and morgan makes it his personal mission to help healing grow out of this and start to become more Alive and less :| and :/ abt life 

morgan becomes very important for and to healing bc like. he literally taught healing Emotions and how amazing and happy and good life can be. morgan taught healing how to Be Alive and Want To Be Alive and how to Feel. before when he was a servant, he was literally just a Shell and genuinely thought life was Supposed to just be inherently shitty and ur suposed to always expereince bad htings and ALWAYS feel ONLY bad negative emotions and feelings.he thought that if he died, it wouldnt matter AT ALL bc he would easily b replaced by another servant and his life had literally no meaning and he genuinely thought he would die before the age of 20 and he was Okay with that he thought it was fine he thought it was okay to not expect to live past 20-25 and etc etc etc. 

when he saved healing, morgain was already quite old-ish?? he was 30 yrs old when healing (at the time, age 17) met him. healnig didnt rlly start to fall in love until around age 19 just some time b4 morgan made him first mate. over the years that healing is on morgans ship, he becomes who he is bc of morgan and  he learns things abt himself and who he is and builds himself bc of morgan and he becomes who healing is in these very moments that he spends with morgan and rightly falls in love because of it bc morgan Saved Him from so many things. morgan took an empty husk and shell of a man that had Began as empty and put smth in it. he had breathed life into an empty bag and made music, he had taken a broken branch and carved a nice ass figure. morgan took something with nothing and gave him Everything.  healing has such a strong connection and attachment to morgan yall cant even begin to understsand it. Runs So Deep in healing, this lov and feeling and attachment he has to morgan

morgan also rlly rlly rlly Rlly likes and appreciates healing and actually also loves healing in the same way, but doesnt tell healing for the same reasons why healing wont tell morgan. they spend the next 10 yrs basically unknowingly pining over each other bc theyre too fuckin afraid to tell each other bc they think the other is gonna b homophobic and its Awful. but also like. sailors back in the day were Rlly Gay so healing and morgan have had their fair share of mutual masturbation and Very Gay Activities w each other bu they were never in the context of romance or in a relationship beyond like. Rlly Rlly Good Best Friends lmao like sex friends but better??

bc healing. was never fuckin educated lmao he doesnt kno how to read or write. over the years he spends with morgan, he BARELY understand the alphabet tbh. he can like,,,,,, understand certain words but he doesnt recognize those words as words they register kinda like symbols in his head. numbers r even WORSE for healing lmao. like he understands map terms north, east, west, south, map, longitude/latitude, etc etc but he recognizes the words as like pictures or symbols in his head that relate to object or meaning or smth, kinda how u see a lil pic of a tree and u recognize it as a tree, thats him w words. healing was morgans first mate and co-captain for 10 years, he often went with morgan to negotiations and business meetings and trades and etc etc etc healing is VERY good w his words bc of this and is actually rlly smart and intelligent and wise. he just cant read or write lol. he has a +0 intelligence on his sheet but a +3 wisdom

healing lives the next 10 yrs of his life after being liberated at the age of 17 to 27 w morgan and his ship and his crew and hes enjoying himself and livin it to the fullest and hes happy and its so good and all is well, but also keep in mind that healing, through out all of these 10 yrs, has STILL not have a name for himself yet. BUT morgan HAS given healing a seashell necklace as well as his ear piercings. he wears these items everyday and they hold like. a lot of emotional important and support for him

but then morgan dies LMAO morgan dies at the age of 40 when healing is 27 and he dies from both sickness from old age (bc sailors back then. died p early skdjfnwsndv) and also from an injury wound he had gotten when in battle earlier that month. morgans death strikes his crew very harshly but without a doubt everyone on the ship agreed that healing was the MOST hurt and affected and shaken from morgans death. morgans last words and also his will states that he wanted healing to become the new captain of the ship. healing doesnt rlly become the new captain bc hes too busy mourning over his death for the next yr.

morgan and healing NEVER tell each other abt their feelings for one another, so morgan dies with this regret of never saying anything and healing lives with the regret of never saying anything before he died. this plays into how healing chose his name

after his mourning and grieving period he starts to slowly collect himself and in this period of time, this is where he finally chooses his name. he thinks abt how morgan was never able to call him by a proper name despite how important names were to morgan, so as hes starting to heal from his death, he picks his own name for himself. he debated on choosing his name as love, bc he loved morgan but never told him despite the fact that morgan quite literally taught him how to love. but he decides on the name healing bc he also thought abt how morgan said how he wanted to help healing start to mend and heal from all the trauma and abuse hes been through and healing sort of just shoved love into that process of healing, therefore That Is His Name Now. his name is now like. an important memoir of morgan as well as like. His Name. his name now holds a very hefty important weight and meaning to him now.

when morgan dies, he makes a lot of vows to himself like how hell never love someone again and how he would keep up morgans work and how he would keep morgans policy of justice and equality and how he would never treat people the way he was treated as a servant and how he would never hurt someone on purpose. after morgans death, he starts to like. hoard items he thinks morgan would have liked and then eventually this just turns from “hoarding for morgan” to “depression coping hoarding” and he just hoards things he thinks has some use or worth of value (which is like. Everything lmao so he never throws stuff away)

the ship crew are not All That Happy that healing is their new captain, but they really did intensely respect and appreciated morgan both as a captain and an individual so they abide by his will and last words and let healing be captain despite the fact that they thought hed b bad at it. but Surprise Surprise healing is actually rlly rlly good at being a captain bc he spent 10 yrs by morgans side and he knows how to do everything rlly well and the crew r kind of surprised and apologize for sterotypin him and for being so prejudiced and not trustin him and etc etc etc and healing is happy for another long while bc now he has like?? a family?? this crew was now his family and he loved everyone on this ship and they loved him?? he was Rlly Good at what he did bc he took over morgans work of trade and also liberating ships and sellin his time to fight for ppl and he was super close to his crew and they grew closer over the yrs and they give him a seashell bracelet similar to how morgan gave him the necklace and earrings so now healing has like. a physical object to associate his emotional relationship and feelings and shit to like he did for morgan w the necklace and earrings

but ofc knowin me its time to Fuck Him Over Again lmao over the yrs while hes in his 30s hes gets like. Rlly Rlly Rlly well known for his deeds and his work and actions so he gets super popular and he has. A Lotta Sex and is Very Well Known for sex and also his dick lol and also sometimes got into. not so hot relationships. at current time right now, age of 57, healing has 5 children he isnt aware of bc he left the other person before they even Knew they were pregnant. he was rlly good with not letting his partner get pregnant but accidents happen lmao sometimes he let the fame and popularity get to his head so he was kind of a Cocky Narcissistic Dick sometimes 

a total of 5 times during his 30s he got himself into. very bad toxic abusive manipulative relationships. these 5 people were all very similar in what they did to healing and how they did it to him. in each of these 5 cases, both healing and his crew reacted the same. when u hang out w manipulative bad ppl, u kinda become manipulative and bad urself, and thats what happened w healing and his crew. these 5 ppl preyed on the fact that healing was emotionally very weak and vulnerable to romantic affection and intimacy and how he had a Rlly Rlly Big Fear of losing people he loved or cared about. they made him care abt them and threatened to leave him if he didnt do what they wanted, as well as abuse him in other different manners physically, emotionally (BIG TIME emotional abuse), verbally, and mentally. during the itme he was in these relationships w these ppl, healing was very much not like his usual self, hes a chatoic neutral but when w theswe ppl he was like?? lawful evil?? true evil?? he became Rlly Bad and did Rlly Bad things that, now in current day time he regrets deeply and feels.

when he was in these relationships, they made him break a lot of the vows he took when morgan died or else theyd do smth to him or to themself ot to his crew or smth like that and it haunts him to this very day abt how he could have done those things to those people despite the fact that the same was done to him and how he NEVER wanted to do that to other people. it dredges bad things up in his memories and in his heart and he has nightmares abt both his traumas and abuse as well as the traumas and abuse hes made others go through.  these people hurt him very deeply in his 30s and scarred him emotionally and mentally more intensely than the people that mistreated him when he was a servant

his 30s was a. Rollercoaster tbh. he went thru very intense and frequent highs and lows bc the time when he was with these people they were his Very Very Low Lows and when he wasnt with them and just doing his job w his crew and livin life he was very happy and his life took on a Very Good High. as he got a lil older at the age of 37 he was doing good and it was a high during his lifetime and that point and when he was 37 he was actually on his ship hunting down a bandit/pirate ship bc someone had bought his ships and effort to help them track down this ship

he has a lot of adventures in his 30s and goes thru so many things and and thru so many situations and so many people and encountered just. A Lot Of Stuff in General. hes experienced probs like. 2 lifetime of experiences and shit by the age of 37 lmao but he wouldnt trade any of these experiences, good or bad, for ANYTHING in the world

but sadly (bc i love makin his life so full of angst) as hes chasing this ship, a Rlly Big Storm comes by and fuckin. WRECKS his ship. absolutely obliterates it. it catches fire and tons of his crew members r jumpin off and panicking and the ship is falling apart and hes so AAAAAAAAAAAAA rn. in the future, the imagery of a sunken or turned up or just in general not normal 100% functioning ship is very unsettling to him and triggers this rlly bad memory. also Rlly Rlly Rlly BIG BIG fires unsettle him very badly and makes him Extremely Uncomfortable but it doesnt rlly trigger this bad memory as much as broken ships do

healing is knocked from the ship and passed out and when he awakes hes on the shore with the remains of wood from his ship along the shore and he is. absolutely broken. he lost his Whole Family in one night and yet he was the one who didnt die?? he assumes everyone on his crew ship died (even tho some survived but he has yet to encounter them) and he was the only one who survived and at the moment he HATED this fact. he hated that he was left to live and he reverts back to his mindset that he had when he was younger how his life didnt matter and etc etc etc

hes also??????????? SUPER upset and heartbroken that the sea was the one who did this to him. the ocean, to which he was born and raised on (he has never lived on land in the past 37 yrs of his life, hes been on land and stayed overnight at inns or smth and stuff but hes never Lived anywhere on land and thinks houses r Weird bc hes lived on a boats and ships for 37 yrs kjefnvslefv), the ocean to which he considered his real mother, the ocean that granted him so much freedom from so much of the things that hes experienced, the ocean to which he was so deeply emotionally connected to and how much the sea had meant to him. he knows he cannot control the sea and accepts that the sea had sunken his ship but that doesnt mean hes not going to still feel sad and shitty abt it lol 

he Basically has a meltdown at this shore and cursin at how he should have been the one to die in this wreck and passes out bc. exhaustion and etc lmao. and then in comes Love Interest #2, noel, a neutral good wood elf monk who, just like morgan, is a very free spirit and very kind and reminds healing just enough of morgan to make his heart start to feel something again

noel sees this tieflin dude passed out on the beach and is like. Oh. Thats Not Good. and he goes to help him out and brings him back to his campsite to patch him up and heal his wounds and take care of him and nurture him back to health a bit until healing wakes up.

healing is like HWHA and is like uhhhh thnks but i gotta Go Now bc Yet Again in this mnoment he vows a bunch of other shit like how hell live a life of solitude and never involve himself w others bc he thinks of himself as a harbinger of bad things and chaos and doom and misfortune follows him and how everyone he loves or tells them abt his life/story dies

but noel is too friendly and caring to just Let Him Go and hes just rlly interested in healing just as an individual and just also wants a companion to travel w bc hes just like a wandering monk who weaves in and out of woods and forests and villages and stuff

fast forward- after a Lot of effort and A Lot of time and A Lot of trust and such, healing slowly Very Very Slowly opens up to noel about himself and his life and what hes gone though and all of the sort of bad and good things hes experienced and grows closer to him and they fall in llove with each other and its both mutual and healing is like “wow??? being in love is so nice?? this is such a good feeling?? i love noel and he loves me back and we can kiss and hug and do stuff and both of us know we are doing this out of mutual romantic attraction??????????” and this is like. A Brand New Feeling for healing bc his relationship and love for morgan was 100% unrequited

noel basically becomes healings teacher tbh since noel is a monk he teaches healing the way of bein a monk most specifically the way of the 4 elements. noel is a master of the way of the 4 elements, but is best w earth and air, healing has such a strong attachment to the water and a close relation with fire so hes naturally like. rlly good w those 2 lmao he catches on real quick despite the fact that. only noel is teaching him and neither of them belong to a temple or have a temple to go to lmao

as time goes on both healing and noel are like. kinda famous monks that travel through the land and are well known bc healing was already previously well known as a rlly rlly cool famous captain and now he kinda dropped off the face of the earth for like 5 yrs but now hes back w noel and he looks a lil diff now bc hes older and his hairs a lil longer but ppl are aware that hes healing

its all good and healing is enjoying life real nice rn and hes happy once again and hes in love with noel and noel is in love with healing and its so good and healing is traveling again but also like. up until he was 37 yrs old he was like livin at sea on a ship. so when he goes along w noel when they travel through the woods on land its kinda Weird for him bc hes like. Never Been On Land For This Long lmao

from the moment he was stranded on that beach to right now in his current time, healing ALWAYS has smth of the sea/ocean w him ALWAYS it is a must and he has to have it for multiple reasons and most of the reasons are for like. safety reasons?? theyre like his safety items it calms him down and soothes him in multiple ways like emotionally and mentally. he ALWAYS has at LEAST 1 (one) bottle or flask or SOMETHING filled w sea water he always has some sea water on him, he also just. collects a MASSIVE amount of shells and sea glass and any other things u could find on the beach or sea he always has some of this stuff on him for comfort and stuff

like with all of the deep and intimate and important and emotional relationships in his life, noel gives healing smth that he can attach noel to emotionally and etc etrc etc. noel gives healing tattoos that are like monk tattoos and symbolize what he does best on his back i.e fire and water and also a few like. just fun lil casual tattoos to make healing and himself happy like a boat and anchor on his wrist and stuff and healing is like Oh Gee Hope Nothing Bad Happens

but smth bad does happen lol. after 10 literal yrs (healing is now 47) theyre in the woods camping out and etc etc etc and its like the dead of night and theyre sleepin in their tents and its good and all but then some bandits or smth just pass by their site and decide “hey. lets fuckin loot this place and fuck shit up” and they do and engage in combat w noel and healing and its just a series of unfortunate events and bad luck and timing and long story short these bandits do lethal and fatal damage to noel but healing manages to fend em off and they go running and now healing is kneeling over the dying body of his lover

noel literally dies in healings arms and this event triggers all of his previous mental state and mindset from before abt how hes a harbinger of bad things and how everyone he loves does and he only brings misfortune and hes liike “y do the ppl around me die???? y cant *I* be the one to die for once??? wtf????” and he feels so many emotions and is so ANGRY at himself bc This Just Keeps happening and the people he loves just keep Getting Hurt and he cries and buries noel and makes a grave and does a lot of sentimental stuff and mourns and just stays where he is in the woods for like. weeks until his supplies runs out and he finally leaves the area of the forest hes in with a heavy… Everything slkdfnvsdkfs fvhesfdnviksfd hes RLLY intensely emotionally and mentally fucked now

he makes the same kinds of vows as before again plus some but now its even STRONGER. he Will Not EVER fall in love ever again, he will never tell anyone ANYTHING abt him thats not surface level info, he takes up his old vows like never hurt ppl on purpose and never treating him the way he was treated and how he will upkeep his code of justice and equality, and how he will NEVER EVER have any deep relationships and friendships and he will keep them very surface level and how he will keep everyone at like an arms distance and a half from him

and so he mourns over his lost loved ones and is just a fuckin angsty emotionally shut and locked up traveling tiefling monk and hes alone and just. travels bc he feels like if he stays in one place too long he might bring misfortune to the ppl around him and he just. BASICALLY keeps this up for ANOTHER 10 yrs dsfkjvnsenfvedv je travels around EVERYWHERE and the first few years he tried his best to avoid rlly thick wooded areas and the sea but eventually he grew and healed a bit more and allowed himself to get on boats again and go thru forests and woods

healing chose his name bc he wanted to heal and grown and change and become a better person and try his best to just be as happy as he could be and to atone for what hes done and just. try to get thru life at this point. and make sure he leaves people better than when he meets them and to make sure everyone he encounters have AT LEAST a Not Bad impression of him. so thats basically what his goal is after noel dies and he just travels on his own and in solitude and he nevers takes along a companion and is jsut by himself and quite literally isolates himself all the time. he keeps the people he talks to at an arm and a halfs distance, he never lets them know anything below surface level info abt him, he like?? basically puts on a front and all but he is still genuinely friendly and likes to talk to ppl he just. doesnt want them to know any like Substantial Info abt him or kno him beyond surface level and stuff

after some time tho he meets a man named elias aka MAN OF THE HOUR aka my datefriends oc and he jsut?? will NOT leave healing alone he just WILL NOT go away and he basically just. is forcibly at healings side as they travel and healing just CANNOT get rid of him and elias is just with him and hes trying to pry thru healings massive amounts of layers and walls and barriers and etc etc etc and ofc he does this respectfully hes not like. forcing his way into healings life and forcing healing to tell him abt his life he just. wants to kno more abt him and is very genuinely attracted to this man in many many ways 

healing realizes he cant force elias to go away and is just like (shrugs) ok w/e guess i cant get rid of u and tries to keep his walls and his front up but he just finds himself getting rlly comfortable w elias?? he finds his presence soothing and stuff bc hes been alone for the past previous yrs and now he has a companion again and its a rlly nice feeling and they grow a lil closer bit by bit over time

more time passes on and eventually, in the middle of a mental break/meltdown, healing just. Spills Everything to elias like. All Of His Life from the moment he was born until this current faction in time where hes sobbing into elias’ arm about his whole life and he feels kind of better and its okay for a while and he just passes out in elias’ arms but then he wakes up and has a panic attack and is like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I TOLD THIS MAN MY ENTIRE LIFE I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW OR HELL DIE I RLLY LIKE HIM THO I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE and he faces the facts that he 1) likes elias 2) is very internally and mentally fukt 3) is internally rlly fuckin secretive and tries to hide everythin abt himself and 4) is Dyin Real Bad for multiple reasons

elias tries to reassure healing and tries to tell him everything will be fine and he wont die and etc etc etc and stuff and from this point on forward healing and elias are much closer and continue to get closer until theyre basically in a relationship and its difficult tbh bc healing rlly wants to leave elias out of his fear but elias stays w him and its a long proccess and journey for healing to learn how to properly cope w all of the things hes felt and experienced and grow and heal and etc et ect

eventually fast forward in time, at the age of 57, healing is MARRIED to elias :’’) and they r in love and everything is okay and healing has and is continuing to learn how to accept what hes done and how to properly cope and deal w things and have less walls and barriers and be better and elias is one of his MOST important relationships to him, on par w morgan and noel, and its all good and happy and healing lives the rest of his life out w elias and dies happy and etc etc etc and its all just GREAT and also their shipname is heelies bc its funny lmao 

i left out a lotta details but fuckin. whatever lmao

anyways i love healing thnk u and good night

[avasilvugh]

Kara and Lena dealing with any of the kids being bullied?

HOO BOY 

well kara “fight me” danvers and lena “come at me bro” luthor dont take kindly to anything or anyone threatening their kiddos, let’s just put that out there now like........they are such mama bears, it is ridiculous.  their kiddos are sometimes a lil embarrassed like god moms we have it under control but also they three hundred percent appreciate it, appreciate the security that comes in knowing their moms are always in their corner

SO finn and maia dont rlly get bullied??  finn does once (literally just once) but he handles it himself, is so disarmingly kind and literally befriends his bully.  to be fair, they’re like seven but still.  and maia??  is literally kind of terrifying like no one’s going to fucking mess with her

what im saying is that its stella that gets bullied and she gets bullied kind of a lot??  its through her entire life tbh, or at least her entire time in school and she hides a lot of it tbh??  like there’s stuff that her moms dont find out abt until later, until its too late for them to do anything abt it bc stella has this habit of just internalizing everything and repressing the shit out of it.  but they do know abt most of it and like..........u know that gif of kara throwing down her purse when lena’s getting arrested?  pls picture that when i tell u what happens bc that’s.......that’s what’s happening

but yeah, she’s small and soft and cries easily, is a little weird and v intense and like??  she doesnt benefit from the innate magnetism her siblings have a la kara.  like she’s v sweet and endearing in her own right, but stella is very much not of this world in a way thats entirely different from her siblings.  where maia and finn grow into gods, essentially, the best analogy for stella would probably be like a fae or smth??  smth obviously not of this world, enough so that it makes some ppl uncomfortable

but its elementary school and kids are kids and they dont have the words to explain why they dont like the littlest danvers, so they do the basic kid bullying like excluding stella from stuff and calling her names and at some point it escalates and she starts coming home with the knees or seat of her pants covered in dirt, ripped up palms from getting shoved or tripped and she has friends, she does, but they’re the kids that are also getting bullied so its not as if any of them are going to stick up for each other, they’re all just trying to get by

when kara and lena find out about it 

which they only do bc kara happens to be at the school to drop off maia’s book report that she left on the kitchen counter and decides to swing by the other kiddos to say hi for a minute and she happens to show up during stella’s recess, when the teachers are mediating an incident between stella and this girl and stella’s full sobbing, can hardly catch her breath and kara’s incredibly angry in that moment, like who did this, whose mom does she need to call

and the teachers spot her and one comes over and explains the situation, and like, to be clear, the teachers are kind of just learning abt this too???  like i got picked on a bit when i was little and those kids were always so good at figuring out the best moment to do whatever it was they wanted to do, always the second the teacher looked away, so theyre doing their best, only found out bc one of the teachers had a sobbing stella ask if she could go back to the classroom for the rest of recess

but basically this girl called stella a weirdo, said some shitty stuff abt stella being adopted, was basically the meanest you can be as a kid without like physically hurting stella, and they’re handling it and like kara kind of gets it, she does, they have protocol, but thats her kiddo crying and she’s like what exactly are you doing to handle it

and the teacher’s like well we’ll have a mediation with the school counselor and they’ll sign a contract but like.....and kara’s v rarely like this, she rlly is, she’s usually v understanding and gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, but she’s remembering all the times stella’s seemed like she didnt want to go to school, remembering all the times she’s come home covered in dirt, the way she’s been extra clingy recently and she’s like why does stella have to sign a contract and the teachers sort of......like well its to make sure that everyone behaves nicely towards one another and kara’s tempted to argue this point, but stella’s still sobbing and has just caught sight of her, is already running towards her, so instead she just asks politely that she and lena be included in the mediation and informs the teacher that she’ll be taking stella home early today

stella kind of falls asleep in the car, so kara takes the opportunity to call lena and lena’s like Ready 2 Fight tbh, she’s like okay so when are we meeting this kid’s mother to duel (this is paraphrased ofc) and kara’s like i dunno but do you have a meeting this afternoon?  stella’s really upset

technically lena has several meetings this afternoon, but she’s already cancelled abt half of them by this point in the conversation and she’s sure jess is well on her way to cancelling the rest for her, so she packs up and meets kara at home and stella wakes up on the couch, crawls out from her blanket burrito and sprawls across her moms laps and they let her pick the movie so they end up watching princess and the frog and moana and the aristocats while stella dozes, still redfaced from crying

later, lena and kara press her gently for details bc like they’ll fight anyone for her with zero info but information would probably make it a lil easier, so they get names and dates (as accurate as a seven year old can give) and they spend a lot of that afternoon just cuddling stella, asking v gently that she tell them when things like this happen bc they can’t make things better if they dont know whats happening, reminding her that they love her a whole lot, that everything that other girl said is just what a very small, very mean person says when they’re angry that you wont behave like them

so then theres the mediation and its turned more into a mediation between the parents bc this girl went home and told her parents that stella danvers lied, that she was just joking abt what she said but lena sees the immediate flash of disdain in the woman’s eyes when she walks in, kara sees the barely concealed sneer on the dad’s face and wow, yeah, okay, she sees where their daughter gets it

it boils down to this: stella is v much the victim and everyone knows it, so kara and lena throw their collective weight around a little (and they rarely do this, truly, they want their kiddos to learn to handle their own problems without relying on reputation or money or whatever) and get this girl switched into a different class and may or may not start a blood feud between their families

but just a small one 

as stella gets older, it’s different??  like she doesnt want her moms getting involved when she gets picked on (and lbr, its the same girl bullying her, just with different lackeys and lena grumbles under her breath abt a mini veronica sinclair every time stella comes home bearing a different story) but she does as they asked when she was little, she tells them about most of the stuff, usually keeps the really bad stuff quiet tho.  they do end up finding out abt most stuff, no small thanks to maia hearing abt a lot of shit (tbh she’s like.......the final stop in the rumor mill??  she hears it all and shuts that shit down) and reporting it right back to their moms

though sometimes she........handles it before it gets back to them

like this one time there were these boys that were harassing tiny freshmen stella (she went on a date with one of them and told him to fuck off when he tried to feel her up, so he spreads it around school that stella’s several words that make maia’s hands shake with anger), and like??  its not something to involve their moms in, considering they thought stella was at ari’s house when she went on the date and she’d get in some trouble for lying, so maia just quietly ruins their lives.  she punches one of them once, and they’re huge babies who talk a lot of shit and never expect to get called on it so she tells them with no uncertainty that they’ll be apologizing publicly and that if she catches them within ten yards of stella, she’ll make them wish they were never born

but mostly maia tells their moms bc she may not have ever gone through this shit, but she knows that just beating ppl up isnt the answer???  wont actually change anything.  so kara and lena hear abt most of what stella goes through and they keep up their steady reassurances, that stella’s beautiful, smart, different in the best way, that she doesnt have to be like anyone else, that they love her just the way she is while they also fight the pta president, this girl’s mom, three teachers that think stella just needs to toughen up (they actually get one of them........not fired, per se, but she doesnt return the next year), an unsympathetic counselor and just abt anyone else that looks at stella the wrong way

like u know how the kids rally around lena and sort of......diffuse the impact of whatever shit the public’s pulling???  the family does the same for stella

eventually it gets bad enough that kara and lena sit down with stella and ask if its even worth it for her, if she even wants to stay at the school or if she’d rather switch to a smaller school that’s a bit more......understanding??  and stella thinks abt it for a long time, and she appreciates the offer???  she rlly does, but she’s never seen her moms run from a fight and she’s not abt to run from this one

the get stella’s bully’s mom kicked off the pta for unbecoming behavior tho