#it smells like rust and cigarettes no matter how many air fresheners are in there or how often he deep cleans it

[gilfrespecter]

I am going to post this af attack rn bc it's so funny 2 me

[tiredaes]

Things I Learned From Dad

1. “Fuck”: in noun, verb, and adjective form; past and present tense. 2. That cigarettes and 6-packs rack up at the end of a long work week for men with good work ethics and bad habits. 3. Calling out of work should be a once a year occurrence – at most. 4. That men who curse a lot, drive pickups, and smoke two packs a day cry like babies when their daughters go to their second prom. 5. The difference between a Phillips and a flathead. 6. How to fix a toilet when the handle goes limp and won’t flush. 7. Not to try shrooms at a house party for the first time, because you just might trip too hard and accidentally throw a domesticated skunk into a bonfire. And that skunk just might belong to the owner of the house you’re partying at. And you just might get your ass kicked. 8. The bands that appear on a 1970’s soundtrack to the teenage life of a rebellious, gear-headed farm boy. 9. How to replace my own windshield wipers. 10. How to drive any size pickup. 11. How to use a power saw. 12. How to rewire the cord to my straightener to the male end of an old extension cord when the dog chews through it. 13. How to refurbish furniture. 14. How to treat a cast iron skillet. 15. That wooden cutting boards need to be oiled regularly. 16. How quickly my breath would leave me when I heard the words “Dad” and “cancer” in the same sentence. 17. That life’s most shattering circumstances happen in an instant. Devastation doesn’t happen gradually. 18. That stage four cancer usually means terminal cancer; something that Dad refused to teach me, but that I learned from him anyways. 19. That mood swings are a major side effect of chemo therapy. 20. That not all chemo patients lose their hair. 21. How important it is to visit a doctor regularly. 22. That when a man is told to look at death, he buys the rusted body of a 1976 Chevy Camaro and turns toward his teenage hobbies instead. 23. That there are painkiller dosages so powerful that they will put you to sleep indefinitely when you’re finished fighting. 24. That two years was a year and several months longer than what his doctors expected. 25. How incredible hospice can be to a father and his daughter. 26. That one of the many stages of death includes a gag-inducing smell that emits from a person’s mouth. 27. That hospice puts air fresheners with floral or citrus scents in each of their occupied rooms to mask the odor that comes from an expired loved one. 28. That I hate the smell of lavender. 29. How to apply for state funding for the cremation of a parent. 30. That, at an estate sale, it is typical for people to offer their condolences and try to barter and bargain for your father’s belongings in the same breath of air. 31. How to transfer the title of a pickup, Camaro, and fishing vessel. 32. How to sell and sort through a lifetime of your father’s belongings in the month before the lease would end. 33. That grief looks different on everybody. And I’m not doing it wrong. 34. Not to allow cancer to repaint the image I have of my dad, no matter how intensely it attempted to. 35. That everything happens for a reason. 36. That life rapidly goes on with or without you. 37. That the present is a safe place for grievers, because you’re not in the fear of the future and you’re not in the pain of the past. 38. That living in his memory means that I have to continue to live.