#it wasnt even the only cup of that species so ? i do not know. perhaps too much or too little moss or dirt or dampness in that one cup.

[paranoidgemsbok]

isopod bins seem to be a lot like aquariums in that its not that you should START with a huge bin, but the bigger the bin the more stable it is.  like my big bins do not need as much hydration maintenance as the medium ones, the moss and dirt is just able to hold on to more dampness for longer because theres more moss and dirt!

[imagineabrighterworld]

For Scientific Purposes

Finding yourself trapped by the League of Villains, you found that it wasn’t all too bad. You had been kidnapped due to your usefulness when it came to working with genetic material. At first, you didn’t understand why they needed you or any of the other scientists they had stolen away. In what part of their plan did they need someone who could work with DNA? At the time, you didn't think it was their thing. Based on what you had heard about the league through the underground, they collected people with offensive quirks and tried assimilating already villainous folks to join their ranks.

At first you believed it may have been your quirk that intrigued them. While it wasnt offensive, it was rather useful. To yourself that was. You had a self restorative quirk that allowed you to heal nearly immediately upon being injured. However, you didn’t have a very far reach as you could only speed up others healing by about a third of the normal rate.

But then you met it.

Or rather, you met them.

Being a rather.. Non-conventional scientist, the Nomu had interested you immediately upon being locked in a room with only a panel of glass to separate you from them. At the time- and with the scientists they had, there were only four Nomu. One, a tall bulky creature with a bird like beak and dark navy skin, was the most impressive of the bunch. It didn’t speak, and while you had asked just what kind of experiments and tests had been done on it, you received no response from the villains that had brought you. All they told you was that you had to find some way to make the creatures take orders.

Easier said than done.

For two weeks, you spent your days and nights trying to get through to the Nomu. Testing countless theories on how to get through to them. It wasn’t that they were missing chunks of their brain, and no damage was showing up on the MRI’s, but something else was blocking them from understanding words.

“I must be missing something.” You chew at the end of your pencil, your leg bouncing as you slowly lean back in your chair. You were in the observation room. A thick glass panel was the only thing in the way of the Nomu getting through to you. But after spending so much time poking and prodding at them, you no longer felt uneasy about them. They were more or less mindless. And as strange as it was, you were beginning to grow attached to them.

Maybe it was the lack of human contact, or maybe your brain was beginning to rot, but you were tempted to get closer to them.

You scold yourself quietly as a small coil of heat travels downward. Squeezing your legs together, you furrow your brows as you look to the thick glass panel.

All the Nomu were in their proper tanks, minus one. The navy blue Nomu, the one supposedly stronger than All Might (or so Shigaraki claims), was the only one allowed to wander outside of its tank. While the others still needed some time to develop, this one was ready to go.

It’s eyes wander from the ceiling above it to the floor, before its gaze lands on you.

You knew it.. was wrong.. but the more you stared back at it, the more you began to feel the warmth in your core grow. The Nomu’s base was human. It’s body was arranged just like a human’s.. you didn’t need to do much guessing on whether it’s nether regions were human either. Or perhaps it was no longer so human underneath?

Unable to shift your gaze away from it, you put down your pen and gradually grow still. It may have been a monstrosity, but it was rather a beautiful piece of work. Whatever the villains were planning, you wanted no part of. But if they could make something such as this, what else could their technology conjure? This was an entirely new species of being, and that thought excited you. The possibilities were endless! ...

No one was around at the moment.. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to take a closer look at it. Surely you could write it off as wanting to do studies on its response to outside stimuli.

You proceed toward the glass, punching in the code to enter the cage. Again, no movement from the Nomu. No sign of complex thought. Perhaps they needed something in order to make them move? Like an impulse..

It was worth a shot, wasn't it?

“Hello.” You speak softly. It turns it's body to look at you. You take this as a good sign and continue.

“Can you sit for me?” You lower yourself onto your knees to demonstrate. “Down here. Can you join me?”

It's head lowers, but it does not move. Mustering up your courage, you reach out and take hold of it's massive hand to tug it downward. “Sit.” You repeat gently, coaxing it with soft words until it finally copies you. Albeit less gracefully, it plops onto the ground in front of you.

“Good! Very good.” Your expression lights up as it tilts its head, seemingly curious at your excitement. “You're such an amazing creature.. I didn't even know this was possible..” It left you with so many questions, but it created so many possibilities as well! Who knew what kind of doors this creature opened for the scientific world. The mixing of quirks to create something to rival even the worlds strongest hero.. even outside of fighting, to build up a body to last.

With the creature once again in front of you, you couldn't help but admire its structure, and it didn't seem to mind your attentiveness to it either.

“They really put a lot of effort into you didnt they.” The Nomu watches as you run your hand along it's arm, taking its hand into your own as you feel the rough texture of it's skin. It was tough, but it had enough give to help with shock absorption, something you had noted when you were given it's file. You massage the large digits in your hands, fascinated by the way the navy skin would take on a lighter hue the more pressure you put into your touches as the force was distributed.

A low rumble catches your attention. Your head snaps upward to look at the Nomu in front of you.

It was purring.. Or something equivalent of one.

You smile giddily at your discovery. “Do you like that?” You question before continuing to massage it, moving from it's fingers to its palm. Again you are met with the low rumbling. You continue to go higher and higher until you are on your knees with your hands cupping the beginnings of its beak.

“A wondrous piece of work.” You draw your fingers along its beak and slowly sit back down.

By then, you were prepared to get up and return to your seat, your curiosity sated. But then the Nomu moved.

It reached out, and just like you, it took hold of your hands. But rather than moving up after reaching your elbows, it moved its hands to your waist and proceeded down.

Your breath hitched in your throat as it moved its hands to your hips and to your thighs, attempting to massage your body as you had with it, but it's hold was much more possessive. Its fingers kneaded into your thighs and pulled you closer to it until you sat on its lap, it's purring was a loud rumble by the time it reached the backs of your knees.

You reach up and hold the sides of its face to use it as an anchor to keep from falling backwards, but it was unnecessary for as soon as it felt you falling away, it pressed a hand to your back and held you flush against its chest.

“Ah- n-not there.” Face flushed with red, you gently push it's hand away from the apex of your thighs to where your core was beginning to drip with want.

Were you really getting excited from just holding the creature in front of you?

Much to your delight, the Nomu kept its hands away from that particular area of your body. Perhaps it simply needed more socializing in order to pick up vocal cues? It would explain why none of the Nomu understood human speech. They just needed more attention.

“I think I know how to help you now.” You beam at the Nomu that was now nuzzling its face into your neck, at least, it was attempting to. With a gentle pull at its jaw, you move its head to face you and give it a small peck on the tip of it's beak.

“I guess we'll be seeing a lot more of each other.”

For scientific purposes only.

[sweetlifetownsville]

Hard Going Getting On Top Of The Hill: The Mayor's Magnificent Mount Louisa Make-Over Might Stumble At The First Jump

And Jenny knows about the problem, but is blithely telling us its all go, when it may well be all stop. The Pie shares a most interesting email. The old bird can reveal that Mayor Jenny Hill IS under investigation by Brisbane authorities for possible misconduct and watching all the fumbling inanities coming over the next 12 months in the run-up to local council elections is going to be more fun than watching a blind man trying to get out of a door knob factory. To that end, The Pie this week introduces a new occasional award, The Codswallop Cup. No shortage of contenders. Also, our new white ele sorry, stadium, has hit more turbulence as it rises from the mud and Lozza Lancini will not be a happy chappy. Bentley has a say on George Pells new lifestyle And our regular gallery from Trumpistan. First, Hot Of The Rumour Mill

The most interesting rumour has just floated into the Nest. Its unverified (well duh, thats why its called a rumour) so well have to wait until the Astonisher plays catchup sometime this week. The Pie hears that the only two tenderers for the new stadiums ultra-lucrative catering contract , one being the incumbent Spotless and one being the Cowboys Leagues Club, have both been excluded for non compliant tenders to do with not paying award wages. So back to square one for the new stadium and where does that leave Spotless in the current stadium? For the answer, check the Astonisher around oh, say, next Friday, by when Lozza Lancini will have told iditor Jenna Cairney what she can say about this. Pell Mell Nothing has been quite as spectacular in the annals of fallen high flyers than that of George Pell, who has swapped his glittering Mardi Gras cardinals robes for prison drab, after being sent to chokey for six years (to serve 3 years and 8 months before eligible for parole) for what only be described as the most brazen, power-deluded child abuse imaginable. Indeed so brazen as to leave lingering doubts among some observers whether such things couldve happened as described, but an appeal will sort that out, after all, the jury knows things that we do not. Now Georgy Boy faces another biased jury his fellow inmates, a class of folk not known for their strict adherence to jurisprudence rules and who exercise their own summary justice according to their own morals and mythology. And Bentley reckons you never know who youre going to bump in in the Yard.

And The Pie says to those who say the term is not enough, rest assured, for a man of Pells pomposity, ego and age, he has been handed a life sentence of one sort or another. One imagines there is one person who will give Judge Peter Kidd the thumbs up.

Shifty Business Delivering on promises is a tricky business, especially when our mayor is in campaign mode. Today, we were offered this little bit of click bait.

But when we went through to the story, what we got was this

Uncanny how this is so ambiguous, like the Castle Hill upgrade itself. Now this is media sleight of hand at its clumsiest, making a highly speculative project sound like solid fact. Interesting because it simply that the TCC will start drawing up plans for what it would like to see at Mt Louisa and crucially for mayor Mullet is the quote: with construction expected by the end of the year. Community engagement started this week and will continue until the end of April. The Pie thought, well thats a nice idea, if conveniently timed to become a re-election boast, but hey, good for the huffnpuff crowd. Then this morning, (Sat) an email fluttered into the Nest. From Angela Sacilotto Councillor Jenny Hills grand plan for Mt Louisa is another political stunt with council elections due in March 2020. TCC do not own all of Mt Louisa. I own a 8 ha block right across the middle of the hill. I have told TCC I do not want to sell. Havent been able to verify Ms Sacilottos information, but she volunteered her contact details and phone number if The Pie wanted a chat about the matter (which for reasons well known to regular readers, is not a viable option since the recent operation.) But The Pie would guess there will be whole lot more to the meaning of community engagement when Mayor Mullet reads this. it is known that Jenny Hill does not like being crossed by people with legal rights who stand in the way of her grand visions, so this community engagement with Ms Sacilotto could involve nipple clamps, a car battery and wet towels . But That May Be The Least Of Her Problems Cant reveal too much at the moment, but our mayor is being officially investigated possible misconduct over her Adani links, particularly arising out of her trip to India. This will not be a revelation on her, because she has been informed of the issue by the Brisbane based investigating body, and what is officially termed overt inquiries are underway. Perhaps no biggy (but then again ) but not a great look for someone who once expressed her admiration for Ipswich Mayor Pisasale. What Dreams May Come, As Willy Shakespeare Once Said All this has led to The Magpie being told that Jenny, a Hitchcock fan, recently watched his classic The Birds, but when she went to bed, she had an horrific dream.

Serves her right for throwing darts at a much loved and protected Australian species. THIS WEEKS CONTENDERS FOR THE CODSWALLOP CUP Its a crowded field. Cmon, Really? Cmon now, seriously Jenna Cairney? Is this all youve got?

Listen, me dear old haggis-head, getting shocked by a menu may apply to a Korean doggy delicacy, a Vietnamese cockroach kebab or the price of a pie at the footy, but because this mob is adding burgers bloody good old Aussie burgers we Aussie snowflakes should be shocked? Do you not understand how insulting this advertorial pap is? One seriously has to question whether the decision makers who publish this clap trap have an IQ above room temperature. A Group Effort Where to start with this one, the inanity is of such magnitude that The Pie is tempted to inaugurate the Clusterfuck Cup as a separate category.

This mind-blowing little corker of an idea is called the Palmer Street Precinct Activation project, and involves wait for it a bit of new lighting along the street, and a new sign saying hang on again Palmer Street.

The plan was obviously to give re-election hopefuls a bit of sorely needed publicity (youd think on recent photographic evidence, Messagebank Walker and Ann-Maree Greaney are going steady). But for other reasons, the story raised both an eyebrow and a guffaw at the same time. Chef/restaurateur Matt Merrin, normally a sensible and successful man, made a right goof of himself when he (reportedly) told the paper the changes would transform Palmer Street into a world class destination. It will be something that visitors to Townsville can Instagram, take photos of and sell the message to the world. Its going to bring new investment back to Palmer Street (question: how does new investment come back?) Weve had many restaurants close over the last 12 months, this will inspire new restaurant owners and people to come back into Palmer Street and be part of the precinct it once was. A world class destination? Matt, a message from The Magpie, mate lay off the cooking sherry and exotic herbs before talking to the Astonisher (FFS, mate, youre even holding your glass crooked.) The story also informs us The dining strip received some upgrades during the preparations for the Commonwealth Games last year. Oh did it? Very similar upgrades in scale to the ones now proposed , as The Pie remembers. So in the year since that spruce up, two Palmer Street nose-baggeries have gone belly-up. But somehow, this one is going to usher in a new era? Hows that? But heres the best bit in the original story, Ann-Maree Greaney said the lighting would keep people, particularly women, safer that apparent admission that the council has allowed Palmer Street to operate without adequately safe lighting for years has now been removed from the story. What fucking planet are you from, you lot? Reporter Chris Lees, have you no dignity? Or sober judgement? Did TCC media gopfer Simpo Templeton have anything to do with this, its about his speed? Well, anyway Anthony, unlike the when at the Astonisher, at least in your TCC role you dont have to put your name to your cock-ups. 3. Off The Rails Then on Thursday, we had this little bit of fluffy irrelevancy.

But no sooner had this flimsy kite taken to the sky, than the Astonisher itself cut the string on Friday with this:

What city rail plan? There wasnt any, the original story was a campaigning thought-fart from the desperate Clr Jacob. Clever though, isnt it write bullshit one day and call it out as bullshit the next. Gotta luv the ol Astonisher. A Miscellaneous Magpie Whinge The Magpie is deliberately not talking about or seeking comment on the massacre in New Zealand, he has no words, certainly none that would contribute positively to this dark deed of pure evil. But coverage does prompt The Pie to vent about a favourite piece of nanny state demeaning idiocy can we please move away from the rubber-faced sign language person standing next to officials who are often making statements about deeply disturbing matters. Often signing involves grotesque and to the uninitiated completely inappropriate comical facial expressions. This presents the twin problems of distraction for the general audience and indignity for the subject of the media conference.The Pie doesnt know what the average deaf audience would be at any given time not many one would guess and yes, there are times like bushfire and flood updates where this information should be conveyed in this manner. But shit folks, heres a newsflash for more 60 years now, real time lower screen captioning has been available, or as all sports directors so slickly employ technology for a smaller, less distracting vision box to one corner. To currently give such a minority a so distracting and undignified presence is not necessary and lacks dignity, and disturbs concentration on what can be vital messages. Of course, nanny staters wont agree. Speaking Of The Nanny State Our evolving language, not always for the better, now features the term woke, as in are you woke to climate change? or any number of other social issues. It means are you alert to, but as so often happens, we too readily adopt the argot of the ill-educated as some sort expression of being cool and identifying with a group one wouldnt normally break bread with. The lovely thing about this nonsensical use of substitute language leaves it wide open for hysterically funny skewering and in this classic piss take Are You Woke? from a fed up Tracey Ullman. The Clock Is A-Ticking The Brexit imbroglio is increasingly hard to follow (or for The Pie, to care much about) but one of the cleverest pictorial comments the predicament of Theresa (dis)May(ed) comes from the Guardians Steve Bell.

And More Of The Same From Trumpistan A lot of attention continues to surround the tumble of democrats eager to take on President Trumpet at the polls next year. And the interest has been heightened by someone not running.

. The ducking, weaving and hilarity of the comments section runs 24/7, so give us of your best, folks. And if you like the blog, you can show your appreciation with some sorely needed financial support, the how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/hard-going-getting-on-top-of-the-hill-the-mayors-magnificent-mount-louisa-make-over-might-stumble-at-the-first-jump/

[sweetlifetownsville]

Hard Going Getting On Top Of The Hill: The Mayor's Magnificent Mount Louisa Make-Over Might Stumble At The First Jump

And Jenny knows about the problem, but is blithely telling us its all go, when it may well be all stop. The Pie shares a most interesting email. The old bird can reveal that Mayor Jenny Hill IS under investigation by Brisbane authorities for possible misconduct and watching all the fumbling inanities coming over the next 12 months in the run-up to local council elections is going to be more fun than watching a blind man trying to get out of a door knob factory. To that end, The Pie this week introduces a new occasional award, The Codswallop Cup. No shortage of contenders. Also, our new white ele sorry, stadium, has hit more turbulence as it rises from the mud and Lozza Lancini will not be a happy chappy. Bentley has a say on George Pells new lifestyle And our regular gallery from Trumpistan. First, Hot Of The Rumour Mill

The most interesting rumour has just floated into the Nest. Its unverified (well duh, thats why its called a rumour) so well have to wait until the Astonisher plays catchup sometime this week. The Pie hears that the only two tenderers for the new stadiums ultra-lucrative catering contract , one being the incumbent Spotless and one being the Cowboys Leagues Club, have both been excluded for non compliant tenders to do with not paying award wages. So back to square one for the new stadium and where does that leave Spotless in the current stadium? For the answer, check the Astonisher around oh, say, next Friday, by when Lozza Lancini will have told iditor Jenna Cairney what she can say about this. Pell Mell Nothing has been quite as spectacular in the annals of fallen high flyers than that of George Pell, who has swapped his glittering Mardi Gras cardinals robes for prison drab, after being sent to chokey for six years (to serve 3 years and 8 months before eligible for parole) for what only be described as the most brazen, power-deluded child abuse imaginable. Indeed so brazen as to leave lingering doubts among some observers whether such things couldve happened as described, but an appeal will sort that out, after all, the jury knows things that we do not. Now Georgy Boy faces another biased jury his fellow inmates, a class of folk not known for their strict adherence to jurisprudence rules and who exercise their own summary justice according to their own morals and mythology. And Bentley reckons you never know who youre going to bump in in the Yard.

And The Pie says to those who say the term is not enough, rest assured, for a man of Pells pomposity, ego and age, he has been handed a life sentence of one sort or another. One imagines there is one person who will give Judge Peter Kidd the thumbs up.

Shifty Business Delivering on promises is a tricky business, especially when our mayor is in campaign mode. Today, we were offered this little bit of click bait.

But when we went through to the story, what we got was this

Uncanny how this is so ambiguous, like the Castle Hill upgrade itself. Now this is media sleight of hand at its clumsiest, making a highly speculative project sound like solid fact. Interesting because it simply that the TCC will start drawing up plans for what it would like to see at Mt Louisa and crucially for mayor Mullet is the quote: with construction expected by the end of the year. Community engagement started this week and will continue until the end of April. The Pie thought, well thats a nice idea, if conveniently timed to become a re-election boast, but hey, good for the huffnpuff crowd. Then this morning, (Sat) an email fluttered into the Nest. From Angela Sacilotto Councillor Jenny Hills grand plan for Mt Louisa is another political stunt with council elections due in March 2020. TCC do not own all of Mt Louisa. I own a 8 ha block right across the middle of the hill. I have told TCC I do not want to sell. Havent been able to verify Ms Sacilottos information, but she volunteered her contact details and phone number if The Pie wanted a chat about the matter (which for reasons well known to regular readers, is not a viable option since the recent operation.) But The Pie would guess there will be whole lot more to the meaning of community engagement when Mayor Mullet reads this. it is known that Jenny Hill does not like being crossed by people with legal rights who stand in the way of her grand visions, so this community engagement with Ms Sacilotto could involve nipple clamps, a car battery and wet towels . But That May Be The Least Of Her Problems Cant reveal too much at the moment, but our mayor is being officially investigated possible misconduct over her Adani links, particularly arising out of her trip to India. This will not be a revelation on her, because she has been informed of the issue by the Brisbane based investigating body, and what is officially termed overt inquiries are underway. Perhaps no biggy (but then again ) but not a great look for someone who once expressed her admiration for Ipswich Mayor Pisasale. What Dreams May Come, As Willy Shakespeare Once Said All this has led to The Magpie being told that Jenny, a Hitchcock fan, recently watched his classic The Birds, but when she went to bed, she had an horrific dream.

Serves her right for throwing darts at a much loved and protected Australian species. THIS WEEKS CONTENDERS FOR THE CODSWALLOP CUP Its a crowded field. Cmon, Really? Cmon now, seriously Jenna Cairney? Is this all youve got?

Listen, me dear old haggis-head, getting shocked by a menu may apply to a Korean doggy delicacy, a Vietnamese cockroach kebab or the price of a pie at the footy, but because this mob is adding burgers bloody good old Aussie burgers we Aussie snowflakes should be shocked? Do you not understand how insulting this advertorial pap is? One seriously has to question whether the decision makers who publish this clap trap have an IQ above room temperature. A Group Effort Where to start with this one, the inanity is of such magnitude that The Pie is tempted to inaugurate the Clusterfuck Cup as a separate category.

This mind-blowing little corker of an idea is called the Palmer Street Precinct Activation project, and involves wait for it a bit of new lighting along the street, and a new sign saying hang on again Palmer Street.

The plan was obviously to give re-election hopefuls a bit of sorely needed publicity (youd think on recent photographic evidence, Messagebank Walker and Ann-Maree Greaney are going steady). But for other reasons, the story raised both an eyebrow and a guffaw at the same time. Chef/restaurateur Matt Merrin, normally a sensible and successful man, made a right goof of himself when he (reportedly) told the paper the changes would transform Palmer Street into a world class destination. It will be something that visitors to Townsville can Instagram, take photos of and sell the message to the world. Its going to bring new investment back to Palmer Street (question: how does new investment come back?) Weve had many restaurants close over the last 12 months, this will inspire new restaurant owners and people to come back into Palmer Street and be part of the precinct it once was. A world class destination? Matt, a message from The Magpie, mate lay off the cooking sherry and exotic herbs before talking to the Astonisher (FFS, mate, youre even holding your glass crooked.) The story also informs us The dining strip received some upgrades during the preparations for the Commonwealth Games last year. Oh did it? Very similar upgrades in scale to the ones now proposed , as The Pie remembers. So in the year since that spruce up, two Palmer Street nose-baggeries have gone belly-up. But somehow, this one is going to usher in a new era? Hows that? But heres the best bit in the original story, Ann-Maree Greaney said the lighting would keep people, particularly women, safer that apparent admission that the council has allowed Palmer Street to operate without adequately safe lighting for years has now been removed from the story. What fucking planet are you from, you lot? Reporter Chris Lees, have you no dignity? Or sober judgement? Did TCC media gopfer Simpo Templeton have anything to do with this, its about his speed? Well, anyway Anthony, unlike the when at the Astonisher, at least in your TCC role you dont have to put your name to your cock-ups. 3. Off The Rails Then on Thursday, we had this little bit of fluffy irrelevancy.

But no sooner had this flimsy kite taken to the sky, than the Astonisher itself cut the string on Friday with this:

What city rail plan? There wasnt any, the original story was a campaigning thought-fart from the desperate Clr Jacob. Clever though, isnt it write bullshit one day and call it out as bullshit the next. Gotta luv the ol Astonisher. A Miscellaneous Magpie Whinge The Magpie is deliberately not talking about or seeking comment on the massacre in New Zealand, he has no words, certainly none that would contribute positively to this dark deed of pure evil. But coverage does prompt The Pie to vent about a favourite piece of nanny state demeaning idiocy can we please move away from the rubber-faced sign language person standing next to officials who are often making statements about deeply disturbing matters. Often signing involves grotesque and to the uninitiated completely inappropriate comical facial expressions. This presents the twin problems of distraction for the general audience and indignity for the subject of the media conference.The Pie doesnt know what the average deaf audience would be at any given time not many one would guess and yes, there are times like bushfire and flood updates where this information should be conveyed in this manner. But shit folks, heres a newsflash for more 60 years now, real time lower screen captioning has been available, or as all sports directors so slickly employ technology for a smaller, less distracting vision box to one corner. To currently give such a minority a so distracting and undignified presence is not necessary and lacks dignity, and disturbs concentration on what can be vital messages. Of course, nanny staters wont agree. Speaking Of The Nanny State Our evolving language, not always for the better, now features the term woke, as in are you woke to climate change? or any number of other social issues. It means are you alert to, but as so often happens, we too readily adopt the argot of the ill-educated as some sort expression of being cool and identifying with a group one wouldnt normally break bread with. The lovely thing about this nonsensical use of substitute language leaves it wide open for hysterically funny skewering and in this classic piss take Are You Woke? from a fed up Tracey Ullman. The Clock Is A-Ticking The Brexit imbroglio is increasingly hard to follow (or for The Pie, to care much about) but one of the cleverest pictorial comments the predicament of Theresa (dis)May(ed) comes from the Guardians Steve Bell.

And More Of The Same From Trumpistan A lot of attention continues to surround the tumble of democrats eager to take on President Trumpet at the polls next year. And the interest has been heightened by someone not running.

. The ducking, weaving and hilarity of the comments section runs 24/7, so give us of your best, folks. And if you like the blog, you can show your appreciation with some sorely needed financial support, the how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/hard-going-getting-on-top-of-the-hill-the-mayors-magnificent-mount-louisa-make-over-might-stumble-at-the-first-jump/

[sweetlifetownsville]

Hard Going Getting On Top Of The Hill: The Mayor's Magnificent Mount Louisa Make-Over Might Stumble At The First Jump

And Jenny knows about the problem, but is blithely telling us its all go, when it may well be all stop. The Pie shares a most interesting email. The old bird can reveal that Mayor Jenny Hill IS under investigation by Brisbane authorities for possible misconduct and watching all the fumbling inanities coming over the next 12 months in the run-up to local council elections is going to be more fun than watching a blind man trying to get out of a door knob factory. To that end, The Pie this week introduces a new occasional award, The Codswallop Cup. No shortage of contenders. Also, our new white ele sorry, stadium, has hit more turbulence as it rises from the mud and Lozza Lancini will not be a happy chappy. Bentley has a say on George Pells new lifestyle And our regular gallery from Trumpistan. First, Hot Of The Rumour Mill The most interesting rumour has just floated into the Nest. Its unverified (well duh, thats why its called a rumour) so well have to wait until the Astonisher plays catchup sometime this week. The Pie hears that the only two tenderers for the new stadiums ultra-lucrative catering contract , one being the incumbent Spotless and one being the Cowboys Leagues Club, have both been excluded for non compliant tenders to do with not paying award wages. So back to square one for the new stadium and where does that leave Spotless in the current stadium? For the answer, check the Astonisher around oh, say, next Friday, by when Lozza Lancini will have told iditor Jenna Cairney what she can say about this. Pell Mell Nothing has been quite as spectacular in the annals of fallen high flyers than that of George Pell, who has swapped his glittering Mardi Gras cardinals robes for prison drab, after being sent to chokey for six years (to serve 3 years and 8 months before eligible for parole) for what only be described as the most brazen, power-deluded child abuse imaginable. Indeed so brazen as to leave lingering doubts among some observers whether such things couldve happened as described, but an appeal will sort that out, after all, the jury knows things that we do not. Now Georgy Boy faces another biased jury his fellow inmates, a class of folk not known for their strict adherence to jurisprudence rules and who exercise their own summary justice according to their own morals and mythology. And Bentley reckons you never know who youre going to bump in in the Yard. And The Pie says to those who say the term is not enough, rest assured, for a man of Pells pomposity, ego and age, he has been handed a life sentence of one sort or another. One imagines there is one person who will give Judge Peter Kidd the thumbs up. Shifty Business Delivering on promises is a tricky business, especially when our mayor is in campaign mode. Today, we were offered this little bit of click bait. But when we went through to the story, what we got was this Uncanny how this is so ambiguous, like the Castle Hill upgrade itself. Now this is media sleight of hand at its clumsiest, making a highly speculative project sound like solid fact. Interesting because it simply that the TCC will start drawing up plans for what it would like to see at Mt Louisa and crucially for mayor Mullet is the quote: with construction expected by the end of the year. Community engagement started this week and will continue until the end of April. The Pie thought, well thats a nice idea, if conveniently timed to become a re-election boast, but hey, good for the huffnpuff crowd. Then this morning, (Sat) an email fluttered into the Nest. From Angela Sacilotto Councillor Jenny Hills grand plan for Mt Louisa is another political stunt with council elections due in March 2020. TCC do not own all of Mt Louisa. I own a 8 ha block right across the middle of the hill. I have told TCC I do not want to sell. Havent been able to verify Ms Sacilottos information, but she volunteered her contact details and phone number if The Pie wanted a chat about the matter (which for reasons well known to regular readers, is not a viable option since the recent operation.) But The Pie would guess there will be whole lot more to the meaning of community engagement when Mayor Mullet reads this. it is known that Jenny Hill does not like being crossed by people with legal rights who stand in the way of her grand visions, so this community engagement with Ms Sacilotto could involve nipple clamps, a car battery and wet towels . But That May Be The Least Of Her Problems Cant reveal too much at the moment, but our mayor is being officially investigated possible misconduct over her Adani links, particularly arising out of her trip to India. This will not be a revelation on her, because she has been informed of the issue by the Brisbane based investigating body, and what is officially termed overt inquiries are underway. Perhaps no biggy (but then again ) but not a great look for someone who once expressed her admiration for Ipswich Mayor Pisasale. What Dreams May Come, As Willy Shakespeare Once Said All this has led to The Magpie being told that Jenny, a Hitchcock fan, recently watched his classic The Birds, but when she went to bed, she had an horrific dream. Serves her right for throwing darts at a much loved and protected Australian species. THIS WEEKS CONTENDERS FOR THE CODSWALLOP CUP Its a crowded field. Cmon, Really? Cmon now, seriously Jenna Cairney? Is this all youve got? Listen, me dear old haggis-head, getting shocked by a menu may apply to a Korean doggy delicacy, a Vietnamese cockroach kebab or the price of a pie at the footy, but because this mob is adding burgers bloody good old Aussie burgers we Aussie snowflakes should be shocked? Do you not understand how insulting this advertorial pap is? One seriously has to question whether the decision makers who publish this clap trap have an IQ above room temperature. A Group Effort Where to start with this one, the inanity is of such magnitude that The Pie is tempted to inaugurate the Clusterfuck Cup as a separate category. This mind-blowing little corker of an idea is called the Palmer Street Precinct Activation project, and involves wait for it a bit of new lighting along the street, and a new sign saying hang on again Palmer Street. The plan was obviously to give re-election hopefuls a bit of sorely needed publicity (youd think on recent photographic evidence, Messagebank Walker and Ann-Maree Greaney are going steady). But for other reasons, the story raised both an eyebrow and a guffaw at the same time. Chef/restaurateur Matt Merrin, normally a sensible and successful man, made a right goof of himself when he (reportedly) told the paper the changes would transform Palmer Street into a world class destination. It will be something that visitors to Townsville can Instagram, take photos of and sell the message to the world. Its going to bring new investment back to Palmer Street (question: how does new investment come back?) Weve had many restaurants close over the last 12 months, this will inspire new restaurant owners and people to come back into Palmer Street and be part of the precinct it once was. A world class destination? Matt, a message from The Magpie, mate lay off the cooking sherry and exotic herbs before talking to the Astonisher (FFS, mate, youre even holding your glass crooked.) The story also informs us The dining strip received some upgrades during the preparations for the Commonwealth Games last year. Oh did it? Very similar upgrades in scale to the ones now proposed , as The Pie remembers. So in the year since that spruce up, two Palmer Street nose-baggeries have gone belly-up. But somehow, this one is going to usher in a new era? Hows that? But heres the best bit in the original story, Ann-Maree Greaney said the lighting would keep people, particularly women, safer that apparent admission that the council has allowed Palmer Street to operate without adequately safe lighting for years has now been removed from the story. What fucking planet are you from, you lot? Reporter Chris Lees, have you no dignity? Or sober judgement? Did TCC media gopfer Simpo Templeton have anything to do with this, its about his speed? Well, anyway Anthony, unlike the when at the Astonisher, at least in your TCC role you dont have to put your name to your cock-ups. 3. Off The Rails Then on Thursday, we had this little bit of fluffy irrelevancy. But no sooner had this flimsy kite taken to the sky, than the Astonisher itself cut the string on Friday with this: What city rail plan? There wasnt any, the original story was a campaigning thought-fart from the desperate Clr Jacob. Clever though, isnt it write bullshit one day and call it out as bullshit the next. Gotta luv the ol Astonisher. A Miscellaneous Magpie Whinge The Magpie is deliberately not talking about or seeking comment on the massacre in New Zealand, he has no words, certainly none that would contribute positively to this dark deed of pure evil. But coverage does prompt The Pie to vent about a favourite piece of nanny state demeaning idiocy can we please move away from the rubber-faced sign language person standing next to officials who are often making statements about deeply disturbing matters. Often signing involves grotesque and to the uninitiated completely inappropriate comical facial expressions. This presents the twin problems of distraction for the general audience and indignity for the subject of the media conference.The Pie doesnt know what the average deaf audience would be at any given time not many one would guess and yes, there are times like bushfire and flood updates where this information should be conveyed in this manner. But shit folks, heres a newsflash for more 60 years now, real time lower screen captioning has been available, or as all sports directors so slickly employ technology for a smaller, less distracting vision box to one corner. To currently give such a minority a so distracting and undignified presence is not necessary and lacks dignity, and disturbs concentration on what can be vital messages. Of course, nanny staters wont agree. Speaking Of The Nanny State Our evolving language, not always for the better, now features the term woke, as in are you woke to climate change? or any number of other social issues. It means are you alert to, but as so often happens, we too readily adopt the argot of the ill-educated as some sort expression of being cool and identifying with a group one wouldnt normally break bread with. The lovely thing about this nonsensical use of substitute language leaves it wide open for hysterically funny skewering and in this classic piss take Are You Woke? from a fed up Tracey Ullman. The Clock Is A-Ticking The Brexit imbroglio is increasingly hard to follow (or for The Pie, to care much about) but one of the cleverest pictorial comments the predicament of Theresa (dis)May(ed) comes from the Guardians Steve Bell. And More Of The Same From Trumpistan A lot of attention continues to surround the tumble of democrats eager to take on President Trumpet at the polls next year. And the interest has been heightened by someone not running. . The ducking, weaving and hilarity of the comments section runs 24/7, so give us of your best, folks. 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