#it’s also not necessarily destined to be unrequited

[sassmill]

More confusing feelings today/into tonight. I was at work for like 13 hours. But it was very good.

[somethinginthethunder]

hello!! could you write a fluffy (with a small amount of angst ofc) scenario with ushijima about how the reader thinks her love for him is unrequited after seeing him hanging out with another girl but he eventually realizes his feelings for her and confesses? 😳

Author’s Note: Ah!! I’m so excited for this! Thank you for requesting, this is actually my first one ever! And I apologize if this didn’t turn out how you wanted. I... also got a little carried away. Whoops...

Again, as always, shares and feedback are appreciated!

Word count: 2,746 (This is longer than usual, I know. I just got really, really into the groove. Please don’t expect all requests to be this long. Thank you!)

Summary: Ushijima has started hanging out with some girl more often. Coming to the conclusion that they liked each other, you end up in your dorm, crying to yourself because of the seemingly unreturned love. 

Warnings: none?? maybe some angst? a whole lot of nothing :’)  and maybe a couple of curse words. MAYBE TENDOU AND USHIJIMA ARE OOC. IF SO, I APOLOGIZE!!!!

---

“Can we help you?” Shirabu asked, pausing in front of the girl standing in the doorway.

The shy young woman perked at his question, her knuckles turning white as she grasped at her bag straps.

“A-Ah! I’m just waiting for Ushijima-san!” she answered, her pale face becoming bright red.

Shirabu tilted his head. “He doesn’t accept fangirls, if that’s what you’re here for,” he stated bluntly, sweat dripping down his forehead as he picked up the stray volleyball.

Embarrassed, the girl bowed down a little. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you! But I actually-”

“Sato.”

Both students turned their head to see the one and only captain of Shiratorizawa’s volleyball team jogging toward them.

“Ushijima-san, do you know her?” the setter asked, tucking the ball under his arm as he gestured to the girl.

He nodded, returning his attention to the new arrival.

“I apologize for not getting out on time. Our practice ran longer than we intended. Please wait for a bit while we finish,” he said, staring into her wide eyes.

“O-Of course! I’ll just… uh, wait outside,” she stuttered once again, bowing in acknowledgement before stepping away from the gym, waiting by its doors.

You had seen the whole thing from your place beside the coach. As the manager of the team, you probably shouldn’t have been paying attention for so long, but the situation had made you curious.

Ushijima had a meeting with a girl? It was rare for him to pay any special attention to them. In fact, it was rare for him to pay attention to them at all.

“Oho, does Wakatoshi-kun finally have a girlfriend?” Tendou asked teasingly, leaning over your shoulder as said man came back to the court. His eyes squinted in curiousity as he rested a hand on your shoulder, knowing that he was getting right on your nerves.

“A girlfriend?!” Goshiki half-exclaimed as he came down from a hit, his aim almost hitting Semi’s face (please save him I-).

His exclamation turned the heads of a lot of the rest of the team. You hated it.

Ushijima stopped in front of you and Tendou, shaking his head in response.

“We aren’t together. We simply have a meeting arranged for today,” he answered.

“If you guys are done talking about this little love crap, I’d like to finish up practice here!” the coach added grumpily.

The team hurriedly resumed their exercises, shouting “Yes, coach!” in unison.

When practice was finally over, and everything had been put away, Ushijima bid his goodbyes and returned to the doorway. The young girl, Sato, approached him, to which he allowed. She was still blushy, and seemed even more nervous than before.

After a brief exchange of words, they walked away from the gym and to wherever their destination was. 

You stood on the other side of the gym with most of the team was on the other side.

With a pit in your chest, you stared out of the door where they once stood. Clutching the clipboard in your hands, you let out a sigh. Maybe it was of disappointment, or maybe it was because you didn’t have to see them together anymore.

Whatever if was, it wasn’t good.

“Don’t mind, Y/n-chan!!” Tendou reassured you. “Everyone knows you’re his favorite!” he cheered, patting your back encouragingly.

You honestly couldn’t tell if he was teasing you or actually trying to be helpful.

“I don’t mind!” you objected, turning to face him. “He can hang out with whoever he wants!”

The red-headed guess monster chuckled briefly before saying, “Oh? But I thought you liked him!”

“Could you say that any louder?!” you scolded hastily, hushing him.

He wasn’t wrong, though. You could admit that. Tendou was good at knowing what made you tick, and he also happened to know your crush on the stoic captain. You almost regretted telling him in the first place. But he was one of our closest friends, and that’s what you had decided to tell him.

Your feelings for Ushijima had lasted for a bit over a year. On one hand, it was fine with you since he never really gave any other attention with girls (except for today, of course), but on the other hand, you hated it since you knew it meant he probably would never like you back.

And today only seemed to confirm this fear. Not in the way you had thought it would.

Tendou blinked at your quiet outburst. “Ah, well, we all already know!” he said. “Besides, if he doesn’t have feelings for you, then there’s no way he’d have feelings for her!”

You knew it was supposed to be a compliment, but it still made your heart ache.

“And,” he suddenly said, his voice lower than before. “If he does happen to hurt you, perhaps I’d have to give him a bit of a talking,” he added. His eyes seemed to change, like the threatening look he’d give his opponents in games. Though, it wasn’t necessarily evil.

Surprised, and almost uncomfortable with his intense aura, you said, “N- no need. Even if he did hurt me, I don’t think he’d do so on purpose. I mean- he doesn’t even know about… my feelings.’

“Ahh!” he hummed, his attitude changing once again. Jeez, you could never read this guy completely. “Then maybe he should know!” he suggested, leaning down to meet your height. 

“Tendou, I love you, my friend. I really do, but confessing is the last thing I want to do!” you said, furrowing your brows. 

He paused, a mischievous look in his eyes. “Alright!” he agreed, stepping away from you. “Well, I’ve got to go, now. I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/n-chan!”

You sighed once again, just about done with your friend’s antics. Shrugging off your worry, you finished up what you were doing and exited the gym.

☆☆☆

At first, you had thought that maybe Sato was just a fangirl that Ushijima had finally agreed to talk to. But, to you, it didn’t look like that was the case anymore.

For the past few days, you’d see them walking together in the halls, talking for most of the time they were together. Even if you and Ushijima were hanging out with each other, she’d approach (though, very timidly) and give to him what seemed like letter(s).

And, sometimes, he’d even give her some back.

You had even noticed he seemed to be in a lighter mood, as well. Which was a bit unusual. You’d say you didn’t want her to make him feel such a way, but you were honestly glad to see him talk more and be more happy.

You didn’t ask him about what they were to each other. You were afraid it would raise suspicions, and, though you’d never admit it, you didn’t exactly want to know the answer.

So you just came to the conclusion that they were dating, or at the very least had feelings for each other.

Well… it was bound to happen sometime, wasn’t it? There was no way he’d have feelings for you.

The last sliver of hope you had in him reciprocating you feelings slowly went down the drain over that whole week and a half that they hung around each other.

☆☆☆

And now it was a Saturday, with you tucked away in your bed crying gently to yourself as you stared up at the ceiling.

You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t cry over a boy. Why did you have to do this now?

Meanwhile, a certain middleblocker and ace were sat next to each other, talking about nothing in particular.

That was, until Tendou finally popped the question you never could.

“Wakatoshi-kun,” he said, staring out of the window and into the night. “Do you like Sato Runa, by any chance?”

The abrupt change in the subject almost caught his friend off guard.

“She’s an exceptional student,” he answered.

Tendou grinned in amusement. 

“No, no! I mean romantically,” he cleared up, waving his hand in the air.

“Romantically?” he repeated, his eyebrows raising. “No.”

That was all the middleblocker needed. “Ahh, well, you make that hard to believe by just looking at you!” he said. “Well, Y/n-chan will certainly be happy to hear this!”

“Y/n? Why would she want to know?” the dark-haired boy asked, still not catching on.

Tendou’s grin only widened, like the cheshire cat playing with Alice’s mind. 

“Why, she likes you, of course!” he cheered. “Ohh, she’s been so worried you and that girl had gotten together. Imagine our poor little manager, heartbroken over nothing!” he said. 

Ushijima said nothing for a while, still sat straight, his hands in his lap.

“Y/n has feelings for me?” he asked, half curious.

Satori tilted his head, more amused than ever. “I know you aren’t great with romance, but even I’d thought you would’ve at least gotten a little bit of hint!”

Ignoring his little jab, Ushijima continued, “...she’s heartbroken?”

Got him, the spiky-haired boy thought. Oh, it was all going to plan.

“Well, she’d never admit it, but I know she’s at least a little upset about it! Must’ve been a lot of proof in her eyes if she’s as heartbroken as I think she is!” he hummed. 

“How long have you known of her feelings for me?” he asked, his voice never changing. To the average person, it’d seem as though he wasn’t too interested in your feelings. However, Tendou knew better.

“As far as I know, almost a year! If I were you, I’d take her out of her sad trance right away!” he added, clapping his hands together. “But the question is, Wakatoshi… do you like her back?”

There was a long, long silence. It almost put Tendou off, thinking that maybe he’d have to modify his plan.

Luckily, Ushijima had finally decided to make his move.

Standing from his seat on the bed, he excused himself from their dorm room, making his way for the yours.

☆☆☆

“Crap…” you murmured, looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked.... tired.

After letting your hair down, you leaned against the counter, staring at yourself.

How pathetic that he had gotten you so worked up.

Actually, no, how pathetic that you had thought that there was a chance that he liked you back.

Suddenly, there was a knock on your door. You jumped, trying to wipe away your drying tears and drying your hands afterward.

“Ah- one moment!” you called, cursing yourself for your sore throat (you had screamed into your pillow out of frustration prior to your little breakdown).

Opening the door, you were surprised to see the one and only Ushijima standing there.

“Y/n,” he said, immediately making eye contact. It was like he was scrutinizing you under his cold gaze.

“Ushijima-san! It’s late! How did you-” 

“Are you feeling alright?” he asked bluntly, referring to the still evident tear stains on your cheeks.

Coughing, embarrassed, you nodded. “Yeah, just… life stuff, you know?”

“Would any of that supposed ‘life-stuff’ have to do with me?” he questioned.

You tensed up. How did he know?

“How did you…” you started, trailing off. Oh. My. God. Tendo-

“It has been brought to my attention that you may have thought that I was in a relationship with Sato Runa. Is this true?” he inquired boldly. 

Wow, he really did not know how to sugar-coat it, huh?

You pursed your lips, obviously not wanting to admit the reason of your defeat. But you knew you shouldn’t lie to him.

“Yes,” you admitted, your shoulders lowering, and eyes suddenly finding the floor much more interesting. The confession made it too real, now. 

“And it was also brought to my attention that you’ve had feelings for me, and have become upset since you believed I was in a relationship with Sato. Yes?” he also asked.

Your eyes quickly shot back up to him in surprise, your cheeks suddenly hot and your chest suddenly in pain. He knew.

You didn’t want to answer, for obvious reasons. And Ushijima seemed to realize this. His gaze softened, rephrasing his words, “If you do not have feelings for me, tell me right now. Please.”

Ah, you couldn’t. Not to him.

This only confirmed his thoughts.

“Y/n,” he said, his voice still unwavering. “I’d like to clear up that I am not romantically involved with Sato Runa.” Wait. What? “I had asked her to be my tutor for a few of my classes since quite a few tests were coming up for the next two weeks. That is why I’ve been around her often.”

Oh. Oh.

So that’s what it was. The papers weren’t letters, but notes and studying ideas. It wasn’t little dates they were doing, it was study sessions. He was in a lighter mood because of how much easier school was for him, now.

You felt pretty stupid right at that moment.

“A-ah… good to know,” you nodded. “It’s alright. You didn’t have to clarify it with me, but thank you, anyway.”

“But I did,” Ushijima retorts. “Because I happen to be attracted to you, not her.”

I- were you dead right now? Was this a dream? A joke? A prank?

You pinched the inside of your hand to check that this was still real.

“I-” you pressed your lips together hesitantly. “Really?” you asked in disbelief.

He nodded. “I hadn’t realized it, but you are different. Perhaps I have not been attracted to you for a whole year, but in this current time, today, I am. You’re talented. You’ve got potential. Everything about you works together to make you an exceptional person. But even then, there’s more to it that I cannot explain.”

The heat in your cheeks only worsened. Honestly, his words were about to give you a full-on fever.

“I- I don’t know what to say!” you confessed, almost bursting. You were confused more than anything, even though your brain processed the situation just fine. “Just a few minutes ago I was crying over how you’d never like me- and now, and now you confess? I mean- I look like a mess, it’s almost past midnight, and-”

“You don’t look like a mess,” he objected, raising his hand to brush a few stray hairs out of the way. “And if you are unable to figure out what to say next, could I perhaps take this moment to ask you something?”

Blinking up at him, you nodded.

“Tomorrow after practice, would you... want to go on a date with me?” he asked. 

Yeah, okay, you were definitely dreaming, now.

Suddenly, you were tense again, trying to figure out if you heard him right. Where did this Ushijima come from? And what had he done with the real one?

“Y-Yes! Of course I would!” you agreed.

“Good,” he said. “I’ll see you in the morning, Y/n.”

Leaning down to your height, his brushed his lips against your forehead as a farewell, not even giving you a chance to reply before he left. (I mean, it would be a questionable sight for him to be seen at a girl’s dorm so late at night.)

Holy shit. Holy shit! You had a date with Ushijima Wakatoshi! 

Your chest was feeling light clouds, your mind barely even able to wrap itself around the situation. Did that really just happen? Were he and Sato actually just acquaintances? Did he actually like you?

Excited, you sloppily got ready for bed and tucked yourself under the covers, ecstatic for tomorrow (of course, a little embarrassed by the earlier conversation, too). 

When you awoke, it took you a minute to remember what had happened the night before. Again, you tried convincing yourself that it was all just apart of your imagination, but that idea was quickly disproven when you checked your texts.

Ushijima Wakatoshi - Sunday, 6:30 a.m.

Do you have anywhere you’d like to go for today?

Tendou Satori - Sunday, 7:36 a.m.

don’t be mad, but I told him! and I have a suspicion that yesterday went great (not really, wakatoshi-kun told me this morning)! sooo… when’s the wedding, love birds?!

Sunday, 7:59 a.m.

are you not up yet? ah, y/nnnn-chann i’m getting impatient!! call me when you see this!

Smiling to yourself, you turned off your phone and rested it on your chest, shutting your eyes for a moment before getting ready.

Today was going to be a good day.

----

☆ taglist☆  (please ask to be added!)

@shou-kunn @warmbearhugs

[conradjlaird]

Summer Acting Program New York NY Austin Kairis

The Meisner Summer Intensive at the Maggie Flanigan Studio allows actors to experience the first part of the professional actor training program as initially conceived by Sanford Meisner. In this section of the interview at the studio, Austin Kairis talks about starting the six-week summer acting program. Actors who are interested in the Meisner Summer Intensive can visit the studio website to learn more about the summer acting programs. Admission to the studio is based on an interview with the head of acting for the studio, Charlie Sandlan. Interested actors should begin the process by completing the online studio application. Q: Austin, tell me about your background in acting before you started the Six-Week Summer Intensive at Maggie Flanigan Studio. A: My experience in acting before I came to Maggie Flanigan was pretty much just high school, president of the drama club, things like that. It wasn't anything super challenging, and it was just fun. It was always something I loved. When I was 12, I was the lead in a college production. That was my lead to things. My family doesn't know anything about acting, so we had no idea how to get into the business, so I was doing like a community-- My parents didn't even want me to be in it necessarily, but they knew that I liked to do it. They found a community college that I auditioned for. I was the lead in this community college play. That just trickled into high school and things like that. Then we found out that you should get an agent or something like that in Chicago, so I got one, but that took a little bit different route with modeling and stuff. I had a one-liner on Chicago Fire and a one-liner in a movie that was shot in Chicago. I didn't have any technique at all. It was pretty much just luck, maybe raw talent, and only my charisma. Q: What were you doing before you came to the studio? Were you studying anywhere else in New York, were you taking classes, auditioning? A: I was not auditioning at all in New York, but I did take a few classes at Susan Batson Studio. I did like it, but I didn't have any foundation to use. Also, I'm not 100% sure I love the Strasberg technique. I want to learn more about it may be. I do like Meisner a lot. I studied at UCB. I love comedy. I feel like there was a part of me which I still love comedy and it hits hard. I have a lot of respect for it, but there was part of me that thought I wasn't severe enough to do dramatic work. After talking to some friends, I heard Maggie Flanigan come up over and over and over again. I've always known when I studied on Stella Adler, Meisner, Strasberg; I always knew that Meisner was something that I wanted to do. I thought I had a vivid imagination and I feel like this is the one that takes advantage of that. That's how I knew I wanted to do this program. Q: What do you think it meant to train as an actor before you started the six-week Summer Intensive? A: Honestly, I'm not even entirely sure I had an opinion on what it meant to be a trained actor. Charlie has also said it before; actors are the least respected art form because anyone can do it. Anyone can do it. That doesn't mean you're doing it well or doing it with a purpose, intention, emotion. As you see, you can watch a great Netflix series. The stars are there; they're acting, they're saying their lines to each other. I don't know. I feel like this training is making me more attuned to who I am as a person and what kind of artist I want to be. I don't want to be just an actor; I want to be an artist. I am an artist. Through that artistry, I decided to act, and that's how I do it. Before, I didn't have too much of an idea of training. Now I realized how important training is. Q: What do you think it means to train now as an actor? A: What do I think it means now to train as an actor? I think it means to have a real severe, dedicated disciplined passion for acting. You can have all the talent in the world, but if you're not committed to putting in the work and the discipline, you might get far, I don't know, but you're not going to be fulfilled in at least the way that I'm learning to be authentically happy doing my art, if that makes sense. Q: What happened during the six-week Summer Intensive specifically that changed your perspective on acting and training? A: A lot of failures, honestly. A lot of falling but having the gumption and the bravery to keep coming back because it's something I do care about, and then finding ways to look at a failure as an opportunity to learn and succeed in something else. Just the idea that the community that we built here and how vulnerable you can be and intimate. That's really what I fell in love with the studio. It's just such a high culture to be a part of. It's so welcoming to be as free and expressive and imaginative as possible. That's the mark that made me happy to be here. I love the studio. I love the people. I like what we're learning. It's not always easy. It's most of the time not easy at all, but I'm not here to be patted on the back, I'm here to learn how to be what I'm destined to be. Q: What did you learn about yourself during the Summer Intensive that was a surprise or that changed you? A: I learned way too much about myself. I learned that I'm such a people pleaser. I learned that I have a thematic cord of unrequited love. I just learned that-- I learned-- I could talk about this forever, but I learned a lot about myself. What has meaning to me, what it means for me to be an artist, what it means for me to be a passionate person, to have discipline. Yes, I just learned a lot about the inner workings of how my emotions run within myself, and how my imagination works, and just how I maneuver with people outside of acting like how I interact with my family, how I communicate with people on the street. It's just opened my eyes to-- I'm not 100% there yet, but to knowing more and more of who my authentic self is when you cut out all the societal or normalized perceptions that we have of ourselves or that we think that others have of us. Q: Two part question, when you started the Summer Intensive, was it your intention to do the six weeks and not go into the two-year program? A: Yes. Q: What made you after the six weeks Summer Intensive, make the big commitment to take the leap and join the two-year program? A: Yes, I only thought I was going to be in the six-week program. Just because I was testing the waters, I'm not going to lie. It's a big financial commitment, and it's a big time commitment. I have a lot of other commercial and time commitments, but it's something that I care about. It's the one thing I care most about is being an actor. I found a way to make it happen for me to join the first year. What really made me commit to that decision was just saying how much I did grow in only six weeks and then having the confidence in myself to know that I'm able to take on this task and to keep learning and growing, and even though it might not be at the pace as everyone else, that's something that I also loved and learned about Maggie. Inherently, it's a competitive environment because it's school. You're not trying to compare yourself to others, you're supportive, at least at the studio. Supportive of one another, and you work and learn from each other because you're partnered, and you get so much from the other people. I think that the community that I built over the summer made me. Even if I didn't know they'd be going into the first year, I knew I could build that same community here because that's just the environment that it cultivates for artists. https://flic.kr/p/2fAyLXc

Summer Acting Program New York NY Austin Kairis

[thenineteenseventymine]

Yooo thanks for the nomination @drivelikeudo I loved reading yours!

rules: copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people.

A. Age: 17

B. Biggest fear: bridges make me feel so physically sick like i start shaking on a bridge but I’m not necessarily afraid of heights because i love rollercoasters. Weird

C. Current time: 2:40 pm (Sunday, feb 12-my brothers birthday!)

D. Drink you last had: milk

E. Everyday starts with: moisturisation bitchezzz

F. Favourite song: probably This Must Be My Dream atm

G. Ghosts, are they real?: I don’t think about that kinda stuff very much, reckon it’s unlikely haha

H. Hometown: if i say the actual name I may have to move haha so I’m just gonna say the midlands of Ireland I. In love with: this could be anything I suppose but I feel like in my life there’s two people that I’ve just fallen in love with (as a friend), my current best friend and this guy Andrew I met on a summer course two years ago. I haven’t talked to him properly since then but we met last summer and I practically cried. We both kinda screamed when we saw each other and he was surrounded by all of the people we were friends with the year before but I was the main one he really wanted to see. If we’re talking unrequited unconditional love, it’s a holiday romance who had to cut all ties once he came home and got back with his “ex”. Tbh I don’t know if they were ever really broken up. Seven months later and not a day goes by that i don’t think about him. And if we’re talking celebrities (probably what this meant in the first place), I’d have to say ed sheeran, the man who literally formed me and my teenage years. Also would do anything for matty healy and jake gyllenhaal but I need to stop ranting lol.

J. Jealous of: almost everything. My friends when they speak to other people. The girl who’s with my ex that I wasn’t even very fond of. The list goes on

K. Kill(ed) someone: ehhhh hahhahah not literally but a couple of people are pretty dead to me

L. Last time I cried: probably a couple of weeks ago tbh all these things kinda morphe into one. I don’t cry often but when I do it’s brutal and I can’t stop.

M. Middle name: Marie

N. Number of siblings: 1

O. One wish: to meet any of the 1975 or ed sheeran of course. But I suppose thats just like a fairytale. My real wish for life is to fall head over heels in love with somebody who feels the same way.

P. Person you last called/texted: I’m basically constantly texting in a group with my two best friends

Q. Question you’re always asked: is your hair natural omg? Nah man I just woke up four hours early to put tiny little curls all over my head. I wish i was able to straighten it.

R. Reason to smile: music, duh (no need to even change Annamarie’s answer lolll)

S. Song last sang: the last song I recorded myself doing was John Wayne by Little Green Cars

T. Time you woke up: about 8 today but I just kept my eyes closed til 10 hahah

U. Underwear colour: blue

V. Vacation destination: the place of my dreams would be anywhere carribean or something, but really my ideal holiday would be wherever he is this summer:(

W. Worst habit: probably my inability to be okay with someone even after they’ve apologised, I can only talk to someone again after a nights sleep. But in worse cases if I’m mad at a friend I can literally never look them in the eye again. I’ve lost two of my best friends over my own stupid reasons that should have been sorted in a day but I’m just too damn proud/ moody hahah

X. X-rays you’ve had: neverrr thankfully! I have a vague recollection of an X-ray on my teeth years ago but I feel like that could just as easily have been my brother

Y. Your favourite food: hmm yeah I dunno it varies so much, probably my mothers curry or chocolate biscuits

Z. Zodiac sign: Capricorn

If any of you wanna try it, be my guest, tbh I’m so bad at remembering urls and I’m afraid to try and find them so like just go for it dudes

[greengargouille]

AC and Class S relationships : the case of Yada Touka

((Note : as a Westerner, my view on the subject might be misinformed. I would like to present my excuses if that’s the case.))

Assassination Classroom, at its core, is a Japanese story. By no mean it is not enjoyable for a Westerner, and this manga have been quite popular overseas. But the satire of the Asian school system might not feel quite as personal, or the situation with Nagisa and femininity might feel like a comment on transgenderism instead of the deeply separated gender roles taking place in Japan it was supposed to be, a situation not without reminiscence about Chihiro Fujisaki from Dangan Ronpa and Naoto Shirogane from Persona 4. Knowing Japanese culture might change one’s view on the story.

Which is why, today, I would like to talk about Yada Touka and the way she’s paired within the Japanese fandom.

As a minor character from 3-E, Yada never have been the focus of a bit character arc. We know from the Island Arc that she wants to be a diplomat in the future, and we’ve seen her having some actings abilities, whether it’s faking tears on her little brother during the ‘Police and Prisoners’ arc or times she acted with Kurahashi (the two of them being also Irina’s best disciples). The manga readers might even remember chapter 161 (also known as What the heck Matsui she’s 14). But, as all minors characters, some of her relationships are better explored in extra-material.

Like the fact she likes Kataoka.

Now, whether or not it is romantic feeling might be still left to confirm for some, and while some people did say her profile in the rollbook confirmed it, I have yet to see it (and using google translate on her translated profile on baidu is... not really clear). But it is believable. Given how popular publications for younger boys and girls often shy away from mentioning same-sex relationships, it is not that much of a stretch to think Yada could have romantic feelings for a girl, without it being really shown.

On the other hand, a lot of the interactions Yada had with men are either unwanted attention or with an intent of deception from her part.

See ? They’re not shown in a positive light. But then, it’s also part of the “class E vs the world”, right ? And besides, Yada is one of Irina’s disciples, so showing her deceiving men is normal !

So, let’s take a peek at the roll book profiles. On the 24 profiles available, Yada is mentioned in 4 profiles from girls, and only once in the boys (by Kimura, in which it is stated he have no special feelings for her). So, Yada doesn’t have a lot of interactions with the boys of class E either.

Now, let’s look at Pixiv. The tag for Yada (矢田桃花) have 9 pages. On those pages, a ship appear very often.

Kimura/Yada. (Note that the tag for it, 木桃, have 5 pages, but some pictures tagged as it might not have the tags for the individual characters).

Why such popularity ? As stated in Kimura’s profile, they appear a lot together, but he doesn’t have feelings for her.

One answer that I think might be at play is Class-S relationships.

The history of Class-S fiction (The S having been attributed to many words, from ‘shojo’ to ‘sister’) start in the early 20th century, when the majority of girls were educated in all-girls boarding schools, and most of them would end up in arranged marriage by graduation. The situational behavior singular to sex segregated places, mixed with lot of hormonal teenagers, resulted in a lot of friendships turning into romance, only to stop once released to the outside world.

This created a tendencies among stories destined to those girls : representation of schoolgirls in couple whose love is ‘innocent’ and ‘pure’, but only serve as a training for future, “more desirable” heterosexual relationships. Same-sex relationships different from that mould, however, were (and still are) considered taboo. You’re either a lily-white innocent school girl playing pretend, or a savage beast bent on dirtying other ‘normal’ women (a bear, to be specific, according to Yurikuma Arashi). This dichotomy is still pretty strong, and not necessarily confined to girls stories.

So, when middle-schooler Yada have a crush on ‘supposed straight’ Kataoka, making it unrequited besides being not really shown, there’s a plausible deniability. And since she’s shown a lot with Kimura, and of course everyone must be paired together... We get the popularity of that pair.

...Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t ship Kimura/Yada. I mean, personally I think it’s a much inferior ship to YadaMegu, or Yada/Kurahashi, or... well, a lot of possible ships.

Including Yada/Kanzaki. I don’t know who was in charge of this image in the show but I like how they think.

But, well, if you want to ship Kimura/Yada... Do it, we’re all mature people understanding of each others. I mean. Most of the time.

Just don’t forget the origins of why such a pair might be popular.

[keremulusoy]

Some clichés are usually said about a place, which is become a subject of a conversation, such as “You must visit there and don’t come back without stopping by”. It is almost impossible to refrain from using such clichés in an essay dedicated to portray the Deliler Coffeehouse. It is one of the must-see places to be visited and to be mentioned in friendly conversations.

We are between those who certainly drop around there. We reached there taking curved and somehow rumbling and worn streets of Cibali to Fatih neighborhood, where humble people live far from the glory of the city, where the craftsmen sit on the banks of the streets and play backgammon, where laundry lines tighten up between the frame houses. I wonder why its name is the Deliler Coffeehouse. The question in our mind about the place whether it is related to Melami or Sufism increased by putting our step in the place. There is a saying “crazy girl’s bundle” to describe untidy and mixed places. The Deliler Coffeehouse is cut out of this saying. We focused on every detail in the decoration astonishingly one by one. Dozens of swings, pendulum-like decorative items hanging down from the ceiling which give the impression of an antique dealer or the décor store of a movie set rather than a coffeehouse.  Later, we learn that these objects were originally brought from four corners of the world and each of them was for sale to finance the kindness movement undertaken by the Deliler ve Veliler Derneği (Association of Madness and Saints), the social project of the Deliler Coffeehouse.

Mad or Sufi? The coffeehouse gives an unusual and frame-breaking impression to those who visit there at the first time. As if customers are not real customers, employees welcome visitors in as if they were inviting one of their family member or a close friend. Ali Denizci, who established the coffeehouse and started the whole organization of the goodness movement, starts to explain.

“The Deliler Coffeehouse is actually a showcase of a heartfelt movement that has changed its shell several times over time. It started in 2009 with Derviş Baba Deliler Abdallar and Meczuplar Kahvehanesi, which we established with Musa Dede and Tayyar Usta to extend a love hand to people in need and  living on the street. In the course of time, this activity became a growing movement of goodness, where thousands of good people were chasing. In 2016, the movement got its present form and name, the Deliler Coffeehouse”.

The inscription on the entrance door of the coffeehouse draws attention. However, the phrase “Deliler” (madmen) refers to some of the irony, a humor, and tragedy of the marginalized people. He continues with an exciting special to people who are proud of his work, explaining the text on the door.

“It is written on the door where to be seen easily by people who step in: Hello every check you pay at this coffee shop goes to help a person. How Does? We work here on a voluntary basis. We also use all the revenue of the coffeehouse to meet the needs of stranded people to make them reach their destination.”

A Heartfelt Movement “Although the Deliler Coffeehouse is part of an organization operating under the roof of the association, everything goes on a voluntary basis. All the commercial income of the coffeehouse is combined with the income from other charitable channels and interferes with the hearts of the people in need. This is a place of intellectual unity that leads those who stranded to reach their destination, without making any discrimination basing religion, language, race and gender. Unfortunately, in the modern world, it is not easy to understand the works of such people. That’s why we are eager to emphasize this at every platform. This is the platform of harmony that the volunteer with common social sensitivities meets at first by sharing the ideas from mouth to mouth, then meet via the social media, and that brings together their effort, money, time, and most importantly their hearts.”

Sweeping The Own Door At First First of all, the social environment where the coffeehouse is located is determined as the target. They provide regular food aid to those in need of help in their region, rent a house for the homeless, protect women and children who are victims of violence, teach Turkish to Syrian children, take the madmen of the neighborhood and let them have bath and take care of them, and help whoever in need or trouble. Besides they do all of these in elegant manner as sincerely considering the duty of them.

“In fact, what we do here is not a great blessing for humanity. If there is a deprivation that we witness in social life, and if this problem can be solved via a little intervention of us, we take action instead of turning our back and ignoring it, that is all. These are not so big things most of the time. A diaper, formula, a small scholarship for a student in need to continue their education. In order to witness the change in people’s lives, it may not necessarily provide material help all the time.  Sometimes it’s just enough to listen and approve. ”

It reminds me immediately that such a kind of goodness is a humanitarian task and in fact, it is not a one-way action but a cooperative action. “All these activities, the donations, is not only to save the needy from the difficulties but because we see what we receive as we live. Because we aware that better word can be possible by sharing in cooperation.”

A Domino Effect In Goodness “Doing a favor to someone else means actually doing favor oneself.” This is the fundamental sentence in our minds from what Ali Denizci told and the natural environment of the Deliler Coffeehouse which far from luxury, which promises the spiritual comfort rather than physical comfort. A window of mysticism carrying the color of a little of Sufism and a little of Bektashism, in front of our eyes. Rather than establishing a cause-effect relationship to be good, instead of searching for reasons and producing excuses, taking action as soon as possible, giving without taking are more humanitarian behavior, no doubt. We wonder the beginning of the Deliler Coffeehouse where arrogance, ego, selfishness cannot enter.

Kindness Is Contagious “Everything started in a small shop. We plastered it together with the homeless, the drunks, the mad people of the neighborhood, painted the walls, and set the parquets. Then we provided unconditional help to everyone in need. We started with the madmen first. That’s where the story goes. We took them to the baths, provided clean clothes, and then we reached out to the homeless of Sulukule wrecking who live in the parks and streets. We rented houses in Balat for dozens of families. Houses were completed, shops were rented and furnished. The nature of the kindness was actually contagious, and we learned that on this occasion. Then everyone started to ask, ‘Can we do something? The kindness that triggered each other has brought us to this day. Now, we do not only meet the fundamental needs of the needs such as eating, drinking, dwelling and the health, instead, we organize music lessons, foreign language education, reading and writing classes mostly for children on the upper floor of the coffeehouse. As in every activity, volunteers are responsible for all of this.”

Increase By The Way Of Decreasing The Deliler Coffeehouse is a place where people who are accustomed to taking and having more, understand how giving and donating is an experience that glorifies the soul. Volunteers who met with the Deliler ve Veliler Association through the coffeehouse, discover the spirit-cleansing aspects of unrequited goodness here for the first time. Hands of love, compassion and help unite and multiply as they give. They learn how to be rich without decreasing. What we said in the beginning, even if you don’t stop by, come and be a drop in the ocean to the movement of goodness in the Deliler Coffeehouse and increase by the way of decreasing.

Ingredients used in the food service

HANDBOOSTING GROWTH

A HEARTFELT MOVEMENT

Objects brought from four corners of the world, which are also used in the decoration of the place, on sale to finance the kindness movement

Objects brought from four corners of the world, which are also used in the decoration of the place, on sale to finance the kindness movement

Objects brought from four corners of the world, which are also used in the decoration of the place, on sale to finance the kindness movement

WHAT KIND OF TARGETS WERE REACHED THROUGH DELİLER VE VELİLER ASSOCIATION (THE DELİLER COFFEEHOUSE)?

NOTES

Handboosting Growth The Deliler Coffeehouse located in the Fatih Cibali district in Istanbul has a very nice feature that separates it from the cafes and restaurants we are used to. The gates of the coffeehouse are open to madman, fancy man and the needy to let them to go their way. The river of goodness flows from prosperity to poverty kept the place alive for years.

Responsibility Awareness You’re responsible for everything you see and hear! Either you’re aware of your responsibility and hold the edge of the stone, or you turn your back and go. If you choose the latter, you have no right to complain about anything you’ve had. This is a bigger sin. How does one live with such a sin?

“If You See And Hear You Are Responsible!” The long text including the mission and working principles of the Deliler Coffeehouse which are located on the door are very nice, but the three words above the text striking people from the heart: “If you see and hear, you are responsible.” This saying has also been the motto of the Deliler ve Veliler Derneği.  It is proof that they are responsible for what they see, what they hear, and that all these good people act with similar feelings of responsibility.

What Kind Of Targets Were Reached Through Deliler ve Veliler Association (The Deliler Coffeehouse)? 273,000 people were fed in the soup kitchen, 27,000 families were allocated food, 3,800 children were taken to social and cultural activities, hospital health care and expenses of 2,300 needy persons were met, 864 students were given scholarships, 13,140 needy persons were given clothes, 700 persons were given private lessons by the volunteer tutors, courses were arranged for 648 children, 1,016 people were provided shelter in the guesthouse, psychological support was provided to 408 persons, boots and winter equipment were sent to students in 457 needy districts and villages, stationery was provided to 23,000 students, 54,000 children were dressed in festivals, 733 families were provided with household goods, and numerous of street animals were cared.

*This article was  published in the  November-December issue of Marmara Life. 

A Small Goodness Utopy In The Chaos Of Istanbul The Deliler Coffeehouse Some clichés are usually said about a place, which is become a subject of a conversation, such as “You must visit there and don’t come back without stopping by”.

[travisandersondatingblog]

7 Types of Love You’ll Experience Before You Meet “The One”

You might assume that if you fall in love, it’s with “The One”.

But by this point in your life, you’ve probably loved a few men…and none of them has worked out. You remember feeling like you loved them…were you wrong? Not at all. There are actually different types of love and each is good in its own way, and you gain great experiences from each.

Why does no one tell you this?! It would be helpful to understand that not every man you fall in love with is meant to be the one you end up with.

We need a manual on love, I think.

Why Different Types of Love are Good For You

You remember being in your teens or twenties and falling head over heels for a guy. Maybe you even dreamed of that big wedding and all those kids you’d have. Now you’re older and wiser and can’t believe you ever thought you’d end up with Davey from your typewriting class.

But that doesn’t mean you didn’t love Davey. It was genuine…for that phase of your life and who you were at the time. Both your experiences and where you are in your life can impact the types of love you have, as well as your relationship with a man.

Experiencing different types of love expands your experience and helps you understand both what you want…and what you don’t want in a lasting relationship.

Let’s dive into the seven types of love you may experience. Some of them are less healthy than others, but I firmly believe that you can learn something from every type of love and every relationship you have.

1. Infatuation

Also known as puppy love, this may feel real (and super intense), but ultimately it is fleeting. It usually happens within the first few weeks of dating someone new. You’re drunk on that feeling of infatuation. You can’t get enough of the guy…and he can’t get enough of you. You may hole up in his bed for an entire weekend and your friends think you’re dead in a ditch somewhere.

But you’re having an incredible time. You’re seeing nothing but possibilities. After all, this guy could be Mr. Right, couldn’t he? You’re already thinking about the summer getaway you’ll take…and maybe, if you’re honest, about what your wedding would be like.

And if you’re having sex, this feeling of infatuation will only be magnified. But in reality, most of that is just lust.

But then…maybe you start to notice how loud his laugh is when you’re in public. Or how it’s really not all that awesome that he has no car and you have to drive him everywhere. Some of that glitter fades and you realize you have nothing in common with this man.

The bloom is off the rose, as they say.

You quickly move from being completely gaga and unable to think of anything but this man to seeing all the reasons you’re not right for one another. And that’s a good thing because you’re realizing early on that this isn’t the guy for you.

Now, don’t get me wrong: infatuation is a healthy and necessary part of finding the perfect fit. You’re bonding to one another emotionally, physically, and biochemically. And if feels freaking fantastic, doesn’t it?

What You Learn From This Type of Love: If you’ve been through a divorce or it’s been eons since you last tumbled into love, infatuation provides a useful service: it makes you feel desired and attractive again. Your memories of your marriage might be fights and his put-downs, but here’s a guy who can gaze into your eyes and make you feel like the only woman in the room. There’s definitely value in that, even if he doesn’t end up being the one you end up with forever.

2. Friendly Love

You care for this guy…just not romantically.

On paper, this guy has it all. He likes the same music. He’s got a great career. He’s kind to everyone. He treats you like a queen. He’s a great guy and you want to love him…but honestly, you feel something more like brotherly love for him.

You try to force a relationship at first. After all, what’s wrong with you? Why don’t you feel passion and attraction for this amazing man?

The thing is, no matter how “perfect” for you a man seems to be, that doesn’t make him right for you romantically. There’s a lot at work when it comes to physical, emotional, and romantic attraction, and this man clearly doesn’t check all the boxes, no matter how much you want him to.

In a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, researchers found that men and women who were friends were more likely to stay that way than become romantically involved. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

This type of love is a great base for friendship, and who couldn’t use more friends?

What You Learn From This Type of Love: It’s a fact: you can’t force romance. Sometimes being friends is what you were destined to be, and having a male friend provides so many perks. You can better understand the opposite sex, which can help you in dating and relationships. You can get his opinion on men you’re talking to, to see if they’re genuine and good potential suitors. You can learn how to be a better communicator, and you’ll always have a plus-one for events when you don’t have a date! And you never know: if you relax and be yourself around him as a friend, things might melt back into romantic love down the road.

3. Obsessive Love

via GIPHY

This type of love might start out like infatuation, but it quickly takes a wrong turn.

You freak out when he doesn’t text you back immediately…

You wonder where he is when he’s not with you…

You get upset when he doesn’t do what you think he should.

If you admit it, you feel a bit unbalanced and unlike yourself with him. Normally you’re the one being chased in a relationship, but you are desperate to have all of his attention, and you’ll do anything to get it.

Is your attachment style anxious-preoccupied? Probably. You may spend a lot of time being anxious about this relationship. Any time he gives you attention, you feel like the sun is shining on you. When he doesn’t, you feel like things are doomed.

In an obsessive love relationship, you may have low self-esteem, jealousy, and/or a need to control, even if these aren’t your normal ways of being in a relationship. There’s just some cocktail of chemicals and emotions with this guy that’s making you completely out of whack.

Pay attention, because obsessive love can be a serious disorder that needs to be treated with medication or psychotherapy. But it doesn’t have to be to that degree for it to negatively impact your life.

What You Learn From This Type of Love: This isn’t love! Any man that you look to for your source of happiness isn’t the right one. You may need to spend some time alone so that you learn how to be happy by yourself before getting into your next relationship.

It’s also a good lesson that you can’t control anything in life.

4. Codependent Love

You may make each other miserable, but you think you need one another.

Here’s another type of love that isn’t necessarily good for you.

With codependent love, one or both of you have unhealthy behaviors that the other is fostering. Shawn Meghan Burn, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the California Polytechnic State University at San Luis Obispo, defines codependent love like this:

“I prefer to think of codependent relationships as a specific type of dysfunctional helping relationship. Broadly speaking, in dysfunctional helping relationships, one person’s help supports (enables) the other’s underachievement, irresponsibility, immaturity, addiction, procrastination, or poor mental or physical health.”

You may have explosive arguments. Drug or alcohol use. Abuse. Lying. Cheating.

Despite all of this negativity, you feel like you won’t find better. That you need this person to survive. That, in some twisted way, you’re good for each other.

This isn’t love, either. It’s drama, and believe me, sexy, confident lady, you can and will find better.

What You Learn From This Type of Love: There’s a lesson in everything, isn’t there? I think the lesson in codependent love is that you need to feel needed…just not like this. Whatever the bad behavior is, it masks bigger issues in the relationship that you need to work on by yourself before moving into your next healthy relationship.

5. Unrequited Love

He’s put you in the friend zone…but you want more.

I think we’ve all experienced this at some point in our lives: you have feelings for someone who doesn’t return them.

You aren’t in a relationship, but might be friends. It might be the Harry to your Sally, and you’re wondering when you’ll turn into a couple just like they did in the movies (I curse rom-coms for giving women an unrealistic expectation of romance!).

He seems perfect for you…so why doesn’t he feel the same?

Realize that you may be inflating how great this guy is simply because you can’t have him. It’s the whole “grass is greener” thing. Because he isn’t interested, he’s the more appealing. Try to step back and look at him for who he is. You might realize that he’s not all that compatible with you.

You may never even tell the object of your affections that you have feelings for him, though if you do, at least you know whether he feels the same or not. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder.

What You Learn From This Type of Love: This type of love teaches you what love shouldn’t feel like: it needs to be two-sided to thrive.

6. All-You Love

You give, give, give and get nothing in return.

Here’s another one-sided kind of love. You’re in a relationship, but you’re the one giving everything.

You sacrifice, you compromise. He takes.

You let him pick the restaurant whenever you go out because he’s pickier than you about where you eat.

Or, when he tells you he has a job offer across the country, you swallow your sadness about uprooting your life and leaving your friends and go to support him.

Your friends don’t understand why you’re with him because they don’t see him sacrificing or giving anything to you. But you’re so in love that you don’t see it.

Sadly, this relationship won’t last forever because eventually, you will run out of things to give. Just like a plant, you need things to thrive. Instead of sunlight, air, and water, you need love, affection, and selflessness. Without him giving those things, you will wither and your love will die.

What You Learn From This Type of Love: It’s beautiful to give in a relationship, but it needs to be balanced. You will realize your own self-worth and that you deserve someone who is just as eager as you are to contribute to the relationship.

7. Healthy Love

This type of love is worth waiting for!

Ahh, finally! The crème de la crème of love. Healthy, true love is worth waiting for. It means you’re in a relationship where you are partners, where you equally give to one another.

There’s no jealousy. No lying. No obsession.

He never makes you feel dumb or out of your league. There’s no drama.

While infatuation probably happened on your journey to healthy love, things have settled down a bit now. While you adore spending time with your man, you also balance it with alone time and being with your friends. You’re able to be genuine with him and have opened up to him in ways you haven’t in past relationships.

All these other types of love helped you get here, but now you see what the big deal is and how it’s different from all others. It’s that moment that you think, “OH! I see what the big deal is!”

You’ve learned lessons on your journey to true love so that you know what is and isn’t acceptable in a relationship. You’ve learned a ton about who you are, and have found happiness within rather than looking for it from another person. That makes you whole and completely ready for a real relationship that is right for you.

What You Learn From This Type of Love: You may have struggled to try to be yourself with a partner in the past, which is understandable, since none of them were right for you. Now you can relax, knowing that this man truly sees you for who you are.

Conclusion:

I don’t want you to discount any man you ever thought you loved as being irrelevant. I truly believe that every relationship we are in, every emotion we feel, is valid and useful. Sure, you might have been 15, 20, or 30 when you thought you were in love but did your age make those feelings irrelevant?

Think of it like this: right now, whatever age you are, you are the smartest you’ve been and have had more life experiences than you ever had in the past. But in 10 years, you’ll have even more and be even smarter. Does that invalidate what you feel today? Of course not.

Rather than thinking that there is one true love for you in your life, be open to the fact that you’ve probably loved many men in different ways. And those experiences led you to where you are and how you are capable of having a healthy love today.

Talk to me! Which of these types of love have you experienced? Have you found a healthy love yet? Leave a comment below.

Still looking for that healthy love? Sign up for my Attract the One online workshop to discover the three steps to get the right man to pursue you and only you!

The post 7 Types of Love You’ll Experience Before You Meet “The One” appeared first on Sexy Confidence.

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[diary-of-an-aries]

Five Card Romance Oracle Spread (14-12-2018)

Requester: diary-of-a-pisces (tumblr url) / hannah_dale@hotmail.com (email)

Inquiry (as phrased by the requester): Should I give up on the idea that Bart Aarts and I will find our way back to each other, despite my firm belief that being in each others’ lives is kind of destined?

Cards drawn: Unrequited Love, Give Your Relationship A Chance, This Could Be the One, Retreat, Very Soon

Unrequited Love / “There’s not enough attraction or chemistry to keep this relationship going.”

Alright, upon drawing this card, it seems easy to think the worst of its meaning, especially considering its caption. Luckily, the surrounding cards are, for lack of a better word, much less grim than this one to the point where they, in a way, can actually put a (semi) positive spin on this card’s meaning.

Regarding your question, the Unrequited Love card doesn’t necessarily mean that whatever feelings / attraction that you and Bart Aarts share are gone or lacking. Again, considering the surrounding cards, I don’t think this is case at all, and if anything, there’s still quite a bit of chemistry to be explored between the two of you! Instead, I feel that this card is just a reminder that you’ve been putting more energy or emotional investment into your bond than he is. Whether we like it or not, we are all made of the same matter, therefore everyone’s energy is intertwined with one another’s; in other words, we’re all connected in some way, so even if you and Bart Aarts may not be an active part of each other’s lives, your thoughts and feelings still give your bond power.

This can pose a slight problem, however, should you be more invested than he is. Again, I genuinely feel that right now, you’re more attached to this bond than he is at the moment, and it’s causing an imbalance in your bond’s overall energy. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with putting forth any amount of energy into a relationship, whether that be directly through straightforward communication or indirectly through thoughts and fantasizing, but it can become difficult and counterproductive if you expend too much of it.

I’m getting this sense that you two are separated, and will remain separated, for a reason at the moment. I’m also getting the sense that this reason is a bit inexplicable, even if it may not have been before; divine forces are keeping you away from each other but of their own accord. Likewise, during this period of separation, instead of dwelling too much on how you’ve been and the plausible circumstances of your relationship, Bart Aarts has been living his own life - a life outside of you, at that. No, he hasn’t relinquished any thought of you. You’re still in his heart. You still have reason to be optimistic. And yes, you definitely still cross his mind from time to time, but whatever the two of you have is not his primary focus at the moment.

With that being said, I highly recommend you following a similar train of thought for the time-being. Instead of focusing a lot of your thoughts and inner energy (even subconsciously) on this person, direct all of that elsewhere. I’m not saying to never think or talk about him again, just that it’s dire that you limit to yourself to how often you fantasize about him or long for his presence. Of course, it’s easier said than done, but I have utmost faith that you have the capacity to do so!

Give Your Relationship A Chance / “Work on your partnership.”

Similarly to the previous Unrequited Love card, this card isn’t something that should be taken at face value. It seems to me that, no, you shouldn’t give up on the idea that you and Bart Aarts will be romantically reunited. There’s still hope for the both of you!

As expressed earlier, there’s still a good amount of attraction and chemistry that is keeping the two of you together, even if it’s a bit stifled for the time-being. Said attraction and chemistry is something worth holding out for and exploring once the time is right. In fact, I’m also getting the impression that the day you two reunite and are more actively involved with one another, the connection you share will deepen. It’ll be something that, I feel, will be refreshing for the both of you. And to add onto that, I also think that this time, your connection will be more lasting and satisfying than the first! Many of the unanswered questions left behind in your first, I suppose, dynamic with him will be more easily acknowledged this time of round.

However, though, I’d continuously refer to the last paragraph of the previous card explanation: keep the faith, and stay positive that things will work out, but don’t overinvest! Pining and fantasizing is only fun and healthy in small doses, but for the most part, your life is yours to live and yours for the taking! Live for yourself and not for anyone else. Once again, you and Bart Aarts are separated for a divine purpose, and there’s a need to focus your attention inward and on yourself for now. At any rate, I think that doing so will help to make your reunion even more exciting once it happens!

This Could Be The One / “You’ve already met the romantic partner you seek.”

In essence, this card is pretty much an extension of what the “Give Your Relationship A Chance” entails. Whatever you and Bart Aarts share with one another could very much be what you and your higher self desire in this lifetime. I’m getting the sense that, when you’re both at your best, you kind of balance each other out in a way but that it occurs very seamlessly and automatically, like your personalities are just naturally complementary, if that makes any sense. But, when paired with the other cards in this reading, this is something that has yet to be recognized fully. The true potential of your relationship hasn’t been fully explored yet because of your separation.

To elaborate on this train of thought, as well as on what I’ve said in the previous card explanations, I feel that Bart Aarts share a soulmate connection. Because of the nature of your separation, I’m leaning toward a milder form of a karmic soul relationship, in which the two of you are intensely drawn / attracted to one another but also have “unfinished business”, or some loose ends hanging regarding your relationship. This is not only the case in this lifetime but also in a couple of others, as well. If you do not subscribe to the idea of soul connections, then long story short, you can just consider this confirmation that the bond between you and this guy is something special - something that you cannot easily kindle with another person.

Anyway, this, I feel, is why you feel destined to reunite with Bart Aarts and what is keeping you and your thoughts invested in him. You aren’t desperate or over-emotional for feeling that your path leads to him because I too believe that it does! You’re probably tired of hearing this, but it’s, again, just not the right time for that path to fully pave itself for you both yet.

Retreat / “It’s time to disconnect from the world.”

This card works hand in hand with what I talked about with the Unrequited Love card and basically serves as confirmation that you’ve been dwelling on Bart Aarts and the prospects of your relationship a tad more than you should. Right now, it’s time to cast that aside. Your love life as well as the resurfacing of your connection with him will better blossom as you spend time alone.

For some reason, I’m getting this nagging feeling that concentrating on something oriented to your career and / or financial life may help you. If you’re currently employed, perhaps you can ask your supervisor if you’d be able to pick up extra shifts or, on a more lighthearted note, ask the coworkers whom you’re closest with if they’d like to hang out with you. If you are currently unemployed, then maybe you could consider applying for a few jobs / internships of interest to you. Working is a great way to not only build your resume and assist you financially, but it also gives you a way to take your mind off any excess amount of pining and fantasizing. Not only that, but it also gives you an opportunity to make friends among your coworkers!

Whatever the case, it’s necessary that you find a way to keep yourself more attuned to the current moment and all that you’re able to do for yourself. Fixating too much on hypotheticals and whatever is keeping you and Bart Aarts apart will become emotionally tedious and exhausting at some point (if it isn’t already), plus it also sends out a certain amount of “worry” energy into the universe. And the universe might wind up responding by delaying the time of your reunion with him, as daunting as that sounds! So, for now, just trust that everything will fall into place at some point, that things can and will work out in your favor, and that you can only control so much of the situation. After that, all you can do is remain optimistic (but not to a fault), and carry on in your sovereign lane!

Very Soon / “Clearly decide what you want so that it comes to you now.”

As great as it would be for you and Bart Aarts to reconnect now or within a few days, what I’m moreover feeling from this card is that you’ll, at the very least, receive a sign about your reconnection. I say this because I felt a bit languid while drawing your cards - that the energy between the two of you is stagnant, and like I said much earlier, stifled. I still think that the universe wants to keep you and Bart Aarts separate for a little while longer but that the universe will send you some sort of confirmation within the next week that 1.) you are on the right path and 2.) your path, at some point down the line, will lead to him.

What this sign may be is ultimately dependent on you. I think that this sign will be more personally tailored to you, though, instead of just a string of angel numbers on the back of a card or something like that; I think that this sign will manifest in the form of something personally significant, whether it be alluding to some sort of aspect in your relationship with Bart Aarts or something that means a lot to just you as an individual. Either way, you will most definitely be receiving a sign sometime soon!

I advise you not to actively seek something that signals your reconnection with Bart Aarts. Constantly being on the lookout for something you’re waiting for will just hinder its arrival as well as, again, relay a “worry” signal into the universe. Instead, and similarly to the theme of “letting go” all throughout this reading, just keep living your life to the best of your ability, and the sign will come to you. You’ll be pleasantly surprised and relieved once it does, and in that moment, I also advise that you take a minute or two to thank the universe or whatever entity you believe in for giving it to you.

Signs may seem a bit miniscule in the grand scheme of things, but ultimately, they’re reminders that what we’re doing fulfills our divine purpose and that what we want is on its way faster than we think. Let me know once you do see your sign, so I can celebrate along with you!

To summarize: No, you should not let go of the idea that you and Bart Aarts will find your way back to each other because yes, you are destined to reconnect!

Note from the reader: Once again, I would like to apologize, from the bottom of my heart, for how delayed this reading is as well as how unresponsive I’ve been for the past week and a half. Thank you so much for your patience and understanding. I genuinely appreciate it.

I will be working on delivering your other reading as soon as possible. If you had any follow-up questions or wanted any clarity or certain aspects of this reading, then feel free to shoot me an email! It was an honor reading for you today. You have such a beautiful energy surrounding you.♥

Wishing you all the best,

Mystical Mars

[petrichorate]

On Love: Thoughts

On Love: A Novel (Alain de Botton)

I really appreciate Alain de Botton’s candid, detailed perspective on the path of a relationship—I perhaps enjoyed his other book on love, The Course of Love, a little more than On Love, but this novel had plenty of its own insights and things that I connected with deeply. 

Reading The Course of Love helped me as I was moving out of a past relationship in understanding some of our behaviors; now, On Love has been somewhat of a counselor as I start a new relationship, tempering some of the insanity that comes with love. Of course, being aware is not the same thing as being capable of fixing problems in love (see last quote on this page)—but reading things like this helps me realize that I’m not crazy, which is also pretty useful. 

But while these two novels have been really significant to me, what I really want is to read similarly detailed and honest accounts from other people—from all kinds of perspectives and backgrounds. What does love really look like for everyone? I have my own stories, but I feel strongly that there is so much more to learn from other people (who are not just Alain de Botton). Most of all, I want to hear the stories outside of what the media portrays as love; if love is imperfect and the best enduring love is usually just “good enough” (see The Course of Love), why do films and television shows all tell the same narrative of romantic love? Presumably, the creators of these films don’t experience that narrative themselves... so why has all of media coalesced around this one skewed story? A viewpoint outside of this misleading story is the perspective that Alain de Botton brings in On Love, but there is much, much more to hear from many other people.

Here are some parts of the book that spoke to me:

On airplane food: “A trolley carrying a selection of drinks and snacks was making its way down the aisle, and though I was neither hungry nor thirsty, it filled me with the vague anticipation that meals may elicit in aircraft.” 

On thinking about destiny: “Though neither of us had until then been superstitious, Chloe and I seized upon a host of details, however trivial, as confirmation of what intuitively we felt: that we had been destined for one another. We learnt that both of us had been born at around midnight (she at 11:45 P.M., I at 1:15 A.M.) in the same month of an even-numbered year. Both of us had played clarinet and had had parts in school productions of A Midsummer Night’s Dream (she had played Helena, I an attendant to Theseus). Both of us had two large freckles on the toe of the left foot and a cavity in the same rear molar. Both of us had a habit of sneezing in bright sunlight and of drawing ketchup out of its bottle with a knife. We even had the same copy of Anna Karenina on our shelves (the old Oxford edition)—small details perhaps, but were these not grounds enough on which believers could found a new religion?” 

On the absurdity of being able to love someone else equally: “Romantic fatalism protected Chloe and me from the idea that we might equally well have begun loving someone else had events turned out differently, shocking given how closely love is bound up with a feeling of the necessity and uniqueness of the beloved. How could I have imagined that the role Chloe came to play in my life could equally well have been filled by someone else, when it was with her eyes that I had fallen in love, and her way of draining pasta, combing her hair, and ending a phone conversation?”

On cognizance of love’s faults not preventing the fall into love: “Why did this awareness not prevent my fall into love? Because the illogicality and childishness of my desire did not outweigh my need to believe. I knew the void that romantic intoxication could fill, I knew the exhilaration that comes from identifying someone, anyone, as admirable. Long before I had even laid eyes on Chloe, I must have needed to find in the face of another an integrity I had never caught sight of within myself.”

On the speed with which we feel the need for love: “Love reinvents our needs with unique speed. My impatience with the customs ritual indicated that Chloe, whom I had not known existed a few hours ago, had already acquired the status of a craving. I felt I would die if I missed her outside—die for the sake of someone who had only entered my life at eleven-thirty that morning.”

On saying that you don’t believe in love: “‘But seriously, if you asked most people whether they believed in love or not, they’d probably say they didn’t. Yet that’s not necessarily what they truly think. It’s just the way they defend themselves against what they want. They believe in it, but pretend they don’t until they’re allowed to. Most people would throw away all their cynicism if they could. The majority just never get the chance.”

On using other people as ways to talk about our own desires: “We helped to define what we wanted by reference to others. Chloe had a friend at work who had a history of relationships with unsuitable types.”

On the relative ease with which we can seduce people we aren’t attracted to: “It is one of the ironies of love that it is easiest confidently to seduce those we are least attracted to. My feelings for Chloe meant I lost any belief in my own worthiness.”

On falling in love with tangential details: “The steps I had on occasion seen women take to seduce me were rarely the ones I had responded to. I was more likely to be attracted by tangential details that the seducer had not even been sufficiently aware of to push to the fore. I had once taken to a woman who had a trace of down on her upper lip. Normally squeamish about this, I had mysteriously been charmed by it in her case, my desire stubbornly deciding to collect there rather than around her warm smile or intelligent conversation. When I discussed my attraction with friends, I struggled to suggest that it had to do with an indefinable “aura”—but I could not disguise to myself that I had fallen in love with a hairy upper lip. When I saw the woman again, someone must have suggested electrolysis, for the down was gone, and (despite her many qualities) my desire soon followed suit.” 

On sex and thought: “Few things are as antithetical to sex as thought. Sex is instinctive, unreflective, and spontaneous, while thought is careful, uninvolved, and judgmental. To think during sex is to violate a fundamental law of intercourse. But did I have a choice?”

On falling out of love once someone has responded to our affections: “When we look at someone (an angel) from a position of unrequited love and imagine the pleasures that being in heaven with them might bring us, we are prone to overlook a significant danger: how soon their attractions might pale if they began to love us back. We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as ideal as we are corrupt. But what if such a being were one day to turn around and love us back? We can only be shocked. How could they be as divine as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us? If in order to love we must believe that the beloved surpasses us in some way, does not a cruel paradox emerge when we witness this love returned? ‘If s/he really is so wonderful, how could s/he love someone like me?’”

On Marxism and love: “There is the old joke made by the Marx who laughed about not deigning to belong to a club that would accept someone like him as a member, a truth as appropriate in love as it is in club membership. We laugh at the Marxist position because of its absurd contradictions: How is it possible that I should wish to join a club and then lose that wish as soon as it comes true? How was it true that I might have wished Chloe to love me, but be irritated by her when she did so?”

On falling in love with people we don’t know: “Perhaps the easiest people to fall in love with are those about whom we know nothing. Romances are never as pure as those we imagine during long train journeys, as we secretly contemplate a beautiful person who is gazing out of the window—a perfect love story interrupted only when the beloved looks back into the carriage and starts up a dull conversation about the excessive price of the onboard sandwiches with a neighbor or blows her nose aggressively into a handkerchief.” 

On the odd viciousness of love: “We may well ask why the viciousness witnessed between lovers would not be tolerated anywhere outside conditions of open enmity. Then, to build bridges between shoes and nations, we may ask why countries that have no language of community or citizenship usually leave their members isolated but unmolested and yet why countries that talk most of love, kinship, and brotherhood routinely end up slaughtering great swaths of their populations.”

On amorous politics: “Politics seems an incongruous field to link to love, but can we not read, in the bloodstained histories of the French, Fascist, or Communist revolutions, something of the same coercive structure, the same impatience with diverging views fueled by passionate ideals? Amorous politics begins its infamous history with the French Revolution, when it was first proposed (with all the choice of a rape) that the state would not just govern but also love its citizens, who would respond likewise or face the guillotine. The beginning of revolution is strikingly akin psychologically to that of certain relationships: the stress on unity, the sense of omnipotence, the desire to eliminate secrets (with the fear of the opposite soon leading to lover’s paranoia and the creation of a secret police).”

On beauty and perfection: “I took pride in finding Chloe more beautiful than a Platonist would have. The most interesting faces generally oscillate between charm and crookedness. There is a tyranny about perfection, a certain tedium even, something that asserts itself with all the dogmatism of a scientific formula. The more tempting kind of beauty has only a few angles from which it may be glimpsed, and then not in all lights and at all times. It flirts dangerously with ugliness, it takes risks with itself, it does not side comfortably with mathematical rules of proportion, it draws its appeal from precisely those details that also lend themselves to ugliness. As Proust once said, classically beautiful women should be left to men without imagination.” 

On the boringness of normal emotional language: “She really was adorable (thought the lover, a most unreliable witness in such matters). But how could I tell her so in a way that would suggest the distinctive nature of my attraction? Words like “love” or “devotion” or “infatuation” were exhausted by the weight of successive love stories, by the layers imposed on them through the uses of others. At the moment when I most wanted language to be original, personal, and completely private, I came up against the irrevocably public nature of emotional language.”

On marshmallows: “Then I noticed a small plate of complimentary marshmallows near Chloe’s elbow and it suddenly seemed clear that I didn’t love Chloe so much as marshmallow her. What it was about a marshmallow that should suddenly have accorded so perfectly with my feelings toward her, I will never know, but the word seemed to capture the essence of my amorous state with an accuracy that the word “love,” weary with overuse, simply could not aspire to. Even more inexplicably, when I took Chloe’s hand and told her that I had something very important to tell her, that I marshmallowed her, she seemed to understand perfectly, answering that it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever told her.”

On intimacy and experiences: “Yet Chloe and I did have a modest story of our own, a set of common experiences that bound us together. What is an experience? Something that breaks a polite routine and for a brief period allows us to witness things with the heightened sensitivity afforded to us by novelty, danger, or beauty—and it’s on the basis of shared experiences that intimacy is given an opportunity to grow. Friendships nourished solely by occasional dinners will never have the depth of those forged on a trek or at a university. Two people who are surprised by a lion in a jungle clearing will—unless one of them is eaten—be effectively bonded by what they have seen.”

On motifs: “A few months later, we were in a bagel shop on Brick Lane when an elegant man in a pinstripe suit next to us in the queue silently handed Chloe a crumpled note, on which was scrawled in large letters the words: “I love you.” Chloe opened the piece of paper, swallowed hard on reading it, then looked back at the man who had given it to her. But he had chosen to act as though nothing had happened and simply stared out at the street with the dignified expression of a man in a pinstripe suit. So just as innocently, Chloe folded the note and slipped it into her pocket. The bizarreness of the incident meant that, as with the corpse, only more lightheartedly, it became something of a leitmotif in our relationship, an incident in our story to which we constantly alluded. In restaurants, we would occasionally silently slip one another notes with all the mystery of the man in the bagel shop, but with only the message “Please pass the salt” written on them. For anyone watching, it must have seemed odd and incomprehensible to see us collapsing into giggles. But the essence of leitmotifs is that they refer back to incidents others cannot understand because they were absent from the founding scene. No wonder such self-referential, egotistical behavior drives those standing on the sidelines to distraction.”

More on motifs: “Interest did not naturally accrue to such anecdotes. For the most part, only Chloe and I appreciated them, because of the subsidiary associations we attached to them. Yet these leitmotifs were important, because they gave us the feeling that we were far from strangers to one another, that we had lived through things together, and remembered the meanings we had jointly derived from them. However slight these leitmotifs were, they acted like cement. The language of intimacy they helped to create was a reminder that (without clearing our way through jungles, slaying dragons, or even sharing apartments) Chloe and I had created something of a world together.” 

On reality versus how we describe shared experiences to others: “One weekend, we went to Bath. At work the day after, when someone asked what I’d been up to, I replied, “We had a great couple of days in Bath.” Even in my own mind, the story of what had occurred grew elementary and facile. I remembered a beautiful sandy-colored town and a blue sky. I remembered being happy, I remembered Chloe saying that I was a better, different sort of person on holiday. And yet if I now force myself to think back, to tell more than a one-line story, I start to recall a more complicated set of events pullulating beneath the surface of the trip, events which it might take four hundred pages to describe properly (don’t worry). To make a stab, I remember that shortly after our arrival, Chloe and I had an argument about which room we’d take in the hotel. I suggested we make a fuss about the one we were initially offered because I didn’t like the curtains and there was a strange dripping sound in the bathroom. Chloe called me “no longer endearingly insane.” On a walk around the abbey, I became preoccupied with my professional life and wished that I’d chosen a different career that paid more. When Chloe asked me what was wrong, I told her I was jealous of Will for all the attention he was getting among our peers. In the evening, Chloe declined to have sex, saying it was her period, though I suspected this had ended a bit earlier. The next day, in a restaurant called John Wood the Elder, I was drawn to a beautiful girl with glasses sitting near us and irrationally engineered an argument with Chloe about wildlife reserves to punish her for her inadvertent role in preventing me from kissing the stranger (who didn’t seem sad about what she was missing out on), while on the way to the station, Chloe mysteriously flirted with a cross-eyed taxi driver, telling him that she loved showing off her belly button in summer, which resulted in a sulk on my part that didn’t end till we reached Paddington station three hours later. Perhaps we can forgive ourselves for telling simple stories which sum up weekends with the word “pleasant,” stories which thereby introduce order into events that are in fact made up of tissues of troubling and ambivalent feelings. Yet perhaps we also owe it to ourselves occasionally to face the flux beneath the abbreviations. I loved Chloe—and yet how much more variegated the reality was.”

On having to tell lies to cover up fluctuating feelings: “‘So, did you fall in love with her?’ Chloe asked in the car. ‘Of course not.’ ‘She’s your type.’ ‘No she isn’t. And anyway, you know I’m in love with you.’ In the typical scenario of betrayal, one partner asks the other, ‘How could you have betrayed me with x when you said you loved me?’ But there is no inconsistency between a betrayal and a declaration of love if time is taken into the equation. ‘I love you’ can only ever be taken to mean ‘for now.’ I was not lying to Chloe, but my words were time-bound promises, a truth too disturbing for most relationships to fully take on board, or else couples would have little to talk about other than their fluctuating feelings.”

On acknowledging the variances of love (but, really, does this work?): “Chloe and I had a joke between us which acknowledged the intermittences of the heart and thereby eased the demand that love’s light burn with the constancy of an electric bulb.  ‘Is something wrong? Do you not like me today?’ one of us would ask. ‘I like you less.’ ‘Really, much less?’ ‘No, not that much.’ ‘Out of ten? ‘Today? Oh, probably six and a half or, no, perhaps more six and three-quarters. And how about you with me?’ ‘God, I’d say around minus three, though it might have been around twelve and a half earlier this morning when you....’”

On other people’s assumptions about a relationship keeping it in check: “Tempests within the couple were also kept in check by the more stable assumptions that others around us held about our relationship. I remember a furious row that erupted a few minutes before we were due to meet friends for coffee one Saturday. At the time, we both felt this row to be so serious, we imagined breaking up over it. Yet this possibility was curtailed by the arrival of friends who could not remotely envisage such a thing. Over coffee, there were questions directed at the couple, which betrayed no knowledge of the possibility of rupture and hence helped to avoid it. The presence of others moderated our mood swings; when we were unsure of who we were, we could hide beneath the comforting analysis of those who stood on the outside, aware only of the continuities, unaware that there was nothing inviolable about our plot line.”

On the terrifying idea that someone who means so much to you today can become someone to be explicitly avoided later: “There is something appalling in the idea that a person for whom you would sacrifice anything today might in a few months cause you to cross a road or a bookshop to avoid. If my love for Chloe constituted the essence of my self at that moment, then the definitive end of my love for her would mean nothing less than the death of a part of me.”

On living in the future: “Why did we live this way? Perhaps because to enjoy ourselves in the present would have meant engaging ourselves in an imperfect or dangerously ephemeral reality, rather than hiding behind a comfortable belief in an afterlife. Living in the future perfect tense involved holding up an ideal life to contrast with the present, one that would save us from the need to commit ourselves to our situation. It was a pattern akin to that found in certain religions, in which life on earth is only a prelude to an everlasting and far more pleasant heavenly existence. Our attitude toward holidays, parties, work, and perhaps love had something immortal to it, as though we would be on the earth for long enough not to have to stoop so low as to think these occasions finite in number—and hence be forced to draw proper value from them.” 

On anticipating the future and then waiting for the present to become the past before enjoying it: “There was for a long time something of this paradox in my relationship with Chloe: I would spend all day looking forward to a meal with her, then would come away from it the best impressions—despite having found myself faced with a present that had not equaled its anticipation and would soon not equal its memory. It was one evening shortly before we’d left for Spain, on Will Knott’s houseboat with Chloe and other friends, when, because everything was so perfect, I first grew unavoidably aware of my lingering suspicions toward the present moment. Most of the time, the present is too flawed to remind us that the disease of living in the present imperfect tense is within us, and has nothing to do with the world outside. But that evening in Chelsea, there was simply nothing I could fault the moment on and hence had to realize that the problem lay within me: the food was delicious, friends were there, Chloe was looking beautiful, sitting next to me and holding my hand. And yet something was wrong all the same—the fact that I could not wait till the event had slipped into history.”

On the urge to end love prematurely: “The anxiety of loving Chloe was in part the anxiety of being in a position where the cause of my happiness might so easily vanish, where she might suddenly lose interest, die, or marry another. At the height of love, there hence appeared a temptation to end the relationship prematurely, so that either Chloe or I could play at being the instigator of the end, rather than see the other partner, or habit, or familiarity end things. We were sometimes seized by an urge (manifested in our arguments about nothing) to kill our love affair before it had reached its natural end, a murder committed not out of hatred, but out of an excess of love—or rather, out of the fear that an excess of love may bring. Lovers may kill their own love story for no other reason than that they are unable to tolerate the uncertainty, the sheer risk, that their experiment in happiness has delivered.”

On how the things we loved at the start can also foretell the end: “The pattern of the kiss had been formed during their first night together. She had placed her head beside his and, fascinated by this soft juncture between mind and body, he had begun running his lips along the curve of her neck. It had made her shudder and smile; she had played with his hand and shut her eyes. It had become a routine between them, a signature of their intimate language. Don’t, not now. Hate is the hidden script in the letter of love, its foundations are shared with its opposite. The woman seduced by her partner’s way of kissing her neck, turning the pages of a book, or telling a joke watched irritation collect at precisely these junctures. It is as if the end of love is already contained in its beginning, the ingredients of love’s collapse eerily foreshadowed by those of its creation.”

On starting a sulk: “A structurally successful terroristic sulk must be sparked by some wrongdoing, however small, on the part of the sulked, and yet is marked by a disproportion between insult inflicted and sulk elicited, drawing a punishment bearing little relation to the severity of the original offense—and one that cannot easily be resolved through normal channels. I had been waiting to sulk Chloe for a long time, but to begin sulking when one has not been wronged in any definite way is counterproductive, for there is a danger the partner will not notice and guilt not flourish.”

On who makes tender speeches at the end of love: “I could feel the doubts and ambivalence in her syntax, but the message was definitive. It was over, she was sorry it was over, but love had ebbed. At the end of a relationship, it is the one who is not in love who makes the tender speeches.”

On the frames that remain after love is over: “My time with Chloe folded in on itself, like an accordion that contracts. My love story was like a block of ice gradually melting as I carried it through the present. The process was like a film camera which had taken a thousand frames a minute, but was now discarding most of them, selecting according to mysterious whims, landing on a certain frame because an emotional state had coalesced around it. Like a century that is reduced and symbolized by a certain pope or monarch or battle, my love affair refined itself to a few iconic elements (more random than those of historians but equally selective): the look on Chloe’s face as we kissed for the first time, the light hairs on her arm, an image of her standing waiting for me in the entrance to Liverpool Street station, her white pullover, her laugh when I told her my joke about the Russian in a train through France, her way of running her hand through her hair...”

On the separation between awareness and capability to solve a problem: “Certainly Dr. Nearly had an interpretation of Madame Bovary’s problem, but there is a great difference between identifying a problem and solving it, between wisdom and the wise life. We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease. Perhaps the concept of wise or wholly painless love is as much of a contradiction as that of a bloodless battle—Geneva Conventions aside, it simply cannot exist. The confrontation between Madame Bovary and Peggy Nearly is the confrontation between romantic tragedy and romantic positivism. It is the confrontation between wisdom and wisdom’s opposite, which is not the ignorance of wisdom (that is easier to put right), but the inability to act on the knowledge of what one knows is right. Knowing that our affair was probably unsustainable had proved to be of no help to Chloe and me; knowing we might be fools had not turned us into sages.”

[lordpiplup]

a story i started writing a lil while back

2010 words

Older, so there’s probably some mistakes

Just the first chapter

It's a wonder how the aspen tree species takes the name 'quaking aspen'. Does the ground beneath it tremble in fear, or perhaps even jealousy, at it's unrequited beauty and bark as light as clouds? Long unnoticeable slashes identically colored to the base of the quaking aspen line around the tree along with unusual charcoal-colored splotches in strange places.

Of course, if you have not witnessed such a thing, the imagination could be quite difficult to form in your mind. Anyone who is at least slightly educated in the quaking aspen knows that the earthquake theory is in fact, not the case.

Their leaves are intriguing because they're flat, small, and attach themselves to the tips and sides of branches. The most interesting part of the leaves however is how even the slightest breeze in a cool summer evening, to a frostbit winter, they begin to quake tremendously, therefore giving the name, quaking aspen.

The leaves are also emerald green at any given time but fall. In fall the leaves turn a smooth, sunny color which makes them the highlight of cliche photographers who return to the same place every year, until they die. Doesn't sound adventurous at the slightest.

Lastly, there's another fact that makes quaking aspens quite unusual. Quaking aspens colonize, meaning that in a forest of these trees, all of their roots are connected underground forming an ultimate chain of these remarkable mutant stalks bearing leaves that tremble in the wind.

These are all things which any mind by the age of 16 should be educated in. However, that is not the case. Certain minds, when raised around certain people, certain environments, and certain situations mold into personalities and memories.

Many children by a young age want to be adventurous and explore the world, yet the sorrowing veracity is that when these children whom are intrigued with the idea of exploring almost seem to completely forget, almost discard the idea, and soon become careless of the occurring events for the rest of their life.

It's as if they take their contentment towards a notion and push it into the ebony-shaded parts of their mind and generally never take the joy and satisfaction of an idea out of the dark ebony-shaded parts of their mind ever again, and it jogs their mind in their dying breaths with regret of vacating the chances they once had for true happiness. Then their hopefully wrinkled eyelids fasten and they slip into a bittersweet eternal sleep. The memories and regrets vanish into thin air.

It's slightly unnerving to know that you may never discover what happens after your death.

Thankfully, there is another species of mind which is scarce these days. The thinkers. These optimistic children often experience the same idea of exploring the vast world, or perhaps becoming a famed singer or painter. The only divergence between these two common types is that these children take a shaky, beaten down, and bruised hand and grasp onto reality and their thoughts and emotions.

They are aware, and they are creative, even if they don't know it yet. Well, I suppose if they don't know it yet then they aren't particularly aware, but the imaginative minds rest either deep below the surface within their thoughts, or the vulnerable shallows of their tongue. Gratefully, but possibly ungratefully, this story is fortunate enough to revolve around the mind of the un-awoken creative type. Not all stories are as fortunate as this. But not all story's introductions are as necessarily truthful as this either.

It begins on a murky, gravelly day in a small town which isn't placed on the map. Bijou structures are the main attraction of this secret town, and minor groupings of townspeople roam the streets daily, wrapped in fleece and leather jackets and coats, and paint-splattered denim jeans. Everyone reacts and appears the same as well. Quaking aspens line the streets yet the leaves are immobile today, and instead of being a emerald green color like described in various archives, they're just a dull, uninviting minty color. The buildings are constructed of brick and plaster for the majority of them. A city that in fact is marked on the map, unlike this shy town, is about 7 miles away from the center of the quaint town, which is considered very close by bike. The world is changing before everyone's eyes, yet no one is aware of such a disastrous analogy. When the clouds shift, the crust underneath the earth does as well. When the sun beams the ground melts. When the seasons change, your mind does too.

Necessary creativity is unnecessary. Unnecessary creativity is necessary. When your heart stops it continues to beat. It beats unless you choose defeat. Never choose defeat.

-------------------------

A gust of humid wind ruffles the hatless heads of hair nearby. The townspeople complain and scurry into their shivering homes like rats to food or moths to light. A drop of liquid on the ground signals a rainstorm approaching, and suddenly umbrellas shoot upwards into the spring air in the distance. Spring is supposed to be pleasant, he wonders. Instead the wind along with the weather forces everyone to run and hide, avoiding work or responsibilities.

The boy continues to hurriedly shuffle down the sidewalk to his destination, swatting the drowning mosquitoes begging for safety atop his head. The drops of rain begin to fall more frequently, and the boy picks up his pace as he glares to the left and right for suspicious activity.

It suddenly becomes dark as the charcoal-colored clouds mask the sun behind their floating mass of liquid, and the rain begins to pour. The boy begins to jog, paying no attention to the forming puddles beneath his sopping wet shoes. Doors slammed in the distance presumably suggesting more people escaping spring's drench. In the pursuit of the boy now sprinting, rocks flew beneath his feet knocking into lamp posts and making a cling sound or falling into the cracks of the sidewalks or simply just rolling into the grass to get jammed in a lawn mower in the future. The trees aligning the streets begin to sway back and forth progressively as time went on, and the wind began to blow the rain sideways, leaving everyone outdoors the victim of the soggy downpour.

Breathing heavily, the boy practically leapt across the crosswalk, and making a mad dash to the slight overhead of the door leading to his destination. His destination turned out to be a small, two story white house with a smudged-slightly-damaged-picket-fence in the front yard and windows with the blinds drawn from the interior and a miniature willow tree nearing the back of the house. The house obviously needed a new paint job, but thankfully it was hardly noticeable.

Rain and sweat dripped off the edge of the edge of his nose and his hair looked straightened and flat. His eyelashes wore tiny beads of dew on the tips and nonetheless, his clothes were soaked despite the fact he's wearing a maroon-colored rain jacket.

Taking a mighty sigh he rang the doorbell three times rapidly and eagerly awaited for the sound of the click signaling the door being unlocked and then rushing inside to warmth.

Click.

His eyes widened and as soon as the door swung open he bounded into the house-that-needs-a-paint-job and scurried up the stairs, paying no mind to the woman who's mouth was left gaping at the front door. Once the boy arrived upstairs he carefully slipped his weeping shoes off his damp gray socks and left them next to a door near him. He slipped off his maroon rain jacket and hung it on the curved silver hook next to the bathroom door revealing a plain black shirt with a logo on the bottom right which was worn hardly visible. The floor was gratefully wooden so a bit of rain dripping off of the jacket and shoes is an easy fix.

The boy began to parade to the end of the hallway to knock on the door there when the door creaked open upon his arrival. There stood a tall skinny ebony-haired boy with glasses wearing a turtleneck and jeans, with a massive grin and also a hint of amusement plastered on his pale face. The boy's brow furrows in confusion because the black-haired boy standing before him usually speaks up sooner. Finally the black-haired boy breaks the silence.

"Dallas, where have you been all day?" he questions.

Dallas scratches the back of his leg with his wet sock and looks to the side. "I had to drop off my essay at the school," he began hesitantly, "and Mr. Williams decided to give me a lecture on eating well because I look 'peckish'"

Dallas then noticed the other boy's shirt read his name on the shoulder. He then decided to mention it right as the other was about to speak.

"I see you got a new shirt there, Vincent" Dallas scoffed matter-of-factly. Vincent rolled his eyes and spoke,

"It was for sale, okay?"

"Oh yes I understand. You bought a shirt that looks just like all your others so you could wear your name on your sleeve proudly because it was for sale," Dallas laughed, pointing out that Vincent's excuse was obviously not acceptable.

"Okay yes," Vincent began, "I kind of wanted to walk around wearing my name which happens to be unique by the town's standards"

"Well my name is unique too"

"Touche"

"Shut up"

"Fine"

Vincent punched Dallas in the shoulder playfully before realizing that his friend was still standing in the hallway, shivering. "Oh my bad," Vincent muttered to Dallas and he shuffled into the room with Dallas following close after. Vincent approached the dresser and dug around in the middle drawer for a few moments until he threw a dry t-shirt, jeans, boxers, and socks at the unsuspecting Dallas, who was captivated by his own mind once again. "Thanks," Dallon said, and Vincent smiled in recognition. Dallon blankly stared into his clothing. Vincent's voice startled him. "What're you thinkin' about?" Vincent questioned whilst climbing into the top bunk above Dallas. Dallas shook his head and answered softly, "Nothing".

"Aww c'mon," Vincent begged. He was curious as to what was in Dallas' mind.

"Nothing!" Dallas chuckled.

Vincent leaned over the bed and hung upside-down in front of Dallas, pushing his glasses into place to keep them from slipping off as he hung. Dallas rolled his eyes as Vincent stuck his lower lip out as if to pout. "You should know by now that you wont get facts outta me that easily," Dallas challenged. Vincent raised his eyebrows and a small sound escaped his mouth, but he could not complete his counter statement as Dallas stood up and walked to the bathroom door across the room, holding the dry clothes in the air to signal that he needed to get dressed, because he was starting to become very uncomfortable with the wet clothes on his back. He turned the doorknob lightly and sighed into the bathroom before shutting the door behind him, leaving Vincent to keep himself occupied.

Dallas set the clothes his friend gave him down on the counter and stared at his reflection in the mirror. His chocolate-colored hair was ruffled and damp and was slicked back in the front from Dallas constantly trying to keep his hair out of his face. His hazel-colored eyes looked rather dull today. He pondered that as he slid his clothes off and replaced his cold, worn clothing with dry, warm ones.

He also pondered how he'll return to school the next day. It's just the same thing everyday, over and over again. Dallas already knows more than he should for being a Junior in highschool. He'd rather go out and explore --- or rather, just sit in Vincent's room and read novels all day. He, of course, knew that would never happen. Both Dallas and Vincent are sixteen, almost seventeen, and their adulthood is beginning soon. "Cliché," I mutter quietly to myself as I open the door.

[soorasaab]

SPOILERS AHEAD

Phillauri, Anushka Sharma's second home production, is an entire constellation away from the dystopian darkness of NH10. This is despite the earlier film's director (Navdeep Singh) and writer (Sudip Sharma) serving as creative producers on this intriguing, mildly eccentric cinematic project. It not only fuses the past and the present, it also brings the here and now into the same frame as a mythic twilight zone. Miraculously, the leaps do not appear unwarrantedly outlandish. The film revolves around a century-spanning love story that takes into its sweep a budding romance that blossoms in a village off Phillaur, in the era of Gauhar Jaan, the freedom struggle and the Jallianwala Bagh massacre. Scripted by Anvita Dutt and helmed by debutant Anshai Lal, Phillauri is a lively, lighthearted drama enlivened with some fine cinematic touches and elements of fantasy inspired by Tim Burton's 2005 stop motion animated film, Corpse Bride.

The basic plot device that drives Phillauri is derivative all right, but the film, as a whole, alternates between the quirky and the intense steadily enough to keep the macabre atmosphere of the Burton film away. There is no land of the dead in Phillauri. When we do actually see a crowd of ghosts in the somewhat credibility-stretching climax, their spectral presence provides the backdrop for an affirmation of life and a celebration of love.   Phillauri Review: The film is a lively, lighthearted drama enlivened with some fine cinematic touches

In the two-toned narrative, the two time zones are distinctly demarcated by the textures and colour palettes that cinematographer Vishal Sinha employs. When the narrative breaks away from the boisterous, colourful present, the audience is taken back in time to an idyllic hamlet where robust young men sing and dance and dainty young girls furtively seek to break free from their domestic shackles.

The two love stories in Phillauri, separated by precisely 98 years, run parallel to each other. A woman who is literally a ghost from the past serves as a sombre link between a hoary saga of unrequited love and a contemporary tale of young lovers grappling with major confusions and doubts.

The film opens with a young rapper Kanan Gill (Suraj Sharma) returning to Amritsar from Canada to wed his childhood sweetheart Anu (debutante Mehreen Pirzada). His horoscope is believed to be blighted. So, before the actual nuptials can take place, he is enjoined to marry a tree in order to cast away bad luck. He gives in despite strong reservations. And that is where Kanan's troubles take root. After the marriage ceremony, the tree is cut down and a spirit that has lived on its branches for decades is now not only left homeless, but she is also convinced that she is the 26-year-old lad's bride.

The harmless ghost hovers around Kanan and that drive a wedge between him and his would-be bride. The former is completely baffled; the latter is understandably angry and sad. Members of the two families, on their part, have no clue what has hit them. Pandemonium reigns supreme. Their travails are occasionally funny, but the film warms up well and truly only when it intermittently travels back to the past to bring us the tale of the gentle Shashi (Anushka Sharma), a girl lives with her doctor-brother.

Poetry is what keeps Shashi going - it brings her into contact with the village singer Roop Lal (Diljit Dosanjh), who she and her best friend believe is the poet Phillauri whose verses are published in the local journal. This guides the tale towards Gauhar Jaan and her 78 rpm discs (referred to in the film as tawa).

But Gauhar Jaan isn't Roop Lal's only inspiration. One day, he receives a mouthful from Shashi, who berates him for the vacuity of his songs. The chastened man resolves to turn a new leaf and endeavour to live up to her high expectations. The two fall in love but there are obstacles in the way - the lovers do not belong to the same class - and these turn of the 20th century avatars of Mirza and Sahiban aren't destined to unite in matrimony.

Phillauri, amid the tragic turns and comic moments, not only takes playful potshots at the superficiality of modern relationships, the pomp and show of big fat weddings and the absurdity of superstitions, it also showcases two interesting fictional women. Shashi, played with remarkable restraint by Anushka, is a rebel daringly ahead of her times. Anu, on the other hand, is truly and madly in love but she allows her romantic ardour to squash her doubts and misgivings. Mehreen Pirzada does a great job of bringing out the inner turmoil of a girl who expects the world from the man she loves only to realise that the chasm that separates romance and reality might be unbridgeable.  

Diljit Dosanjh and Suraj Sharma, playing two men who are necessarily poles apart, embody the spirit of the divergent times they live in. The 1910s aren't obviously the same as the 2010's - the two actors underscore the differing worlds and mindsets without missing a trick. Dosanjh is slow and steady; Suraj Sharma is twitchy and tense. That is exactly how they are meant to be.

Phillauri is an unconventional Bollywood entertainer that is watchable all the way. It does not rely on star power. It draws its strength instead from an off-kilter screenplay that for once might make you want to believe in the existence of ghosts, especially if they happen to be like the one that Anushka Sharma gets into the spirit of.  

#SooraSaab #Soora #Facebook #News #Gadgets #Technology #sports #Automobile #blog #youtube #smartphones #top #Tumblr

[conradjlaird]

Austin Kairis: Six Week Summer Acting Program

The Meisner Summer Intensive at the Maggie Flanigan Studio allows actors to experience the first part of the professional actor training program as initially conceived by Sanford Meisner. In this section of the interview at the studio, Austin Kairis talks about starting the six-week summer acting program.

Q: Austin, tell me about your background in acting before you started the Six-Week Summer Acting Program at Maggie Flanigan Studio.

A: My experience in acting before I came to Maggie Flanigan was pretty much just high school, president of the drama club, things like that. It wasn't anything super challenging, and it was just fun. It was always something I loved. When I was 12, I was the lead in a college production. That was my lead to things. My family doesn't know anything about acting, so we had no idea how to get into the business, so I was doing like a community--

My parents didn't even want me to be in it necessarily, but they knew that I liked to do it. They found a community college that I auditioned for. I was the lead in this community college play. That just trickled into high school and things like that. Then we found out that you should get an agent or something like that in Chicago, so I got one, but that took a little bit different route with modeling and stuff. I had a one-liner on Chicago Fire and a one-liner in a movie that was shot in Chicago. I didn't have any technique at all. It was pretty much just luck, maybe raw talent, and only my charisma.

Q: What were you doing before you came to the studio? Were you studying anywhere else in New York, were you taking classes, auditioning?

A: I was not auditioning at all in New York, but I did take a few classes at Susan Batson Studio. I did like it, but I didn't have any foundation to use. Also, I'm not 100% sure I love the Strasberg technique. I want to learn more about it may be. I do like Meisner a lot. I studied at UCB. I love comedy. I feel like there was a part of me which I still love comedy and it hits hard. I have a lot of respect for it, but there was part of me that thought I wasn't severe enough to do dramatic work.

After talking to some friends, I heard Maggie Flanigan come up over and over and over again. I've always known when I studied on Stella Adler, Meisner, Strasberg; I always knew that Meisner was something that I wanted to do. I thought I had a vivid imagination and I feel like this is the one that takes advantage of that. That's how I knew I wanted to do this program.

Q: What do you think it meant to train as an actor before you started the six-week Summer Intensive?

A: Honestly, I'm not even entirely sure I had an opinion on what it meant to be a trained actor. Charlie has also said it before; actors are the least respected art form because anyone can do it. Anyone can do it. That doesn't mean you're doing it well or doing it with a purpose, intention, emotion. As you see, you can watch a great Netflix series. The stars are there; they're acting, they're saying their lines to each other.

I don't know. I feel like this training is making me more attuned to who I am as a person and what kind of artist I want to be. I don't want to be just an actor; I want to be an artist. I am an artist. Through that artistry, I decided to act, and that's how I do it. Before, I didn't have too much of an idea of training. Now I realized how important training is.

Q: What do you think it means to train now as an actor?

A: What do I think it means now to train as an actor? I think it means to have a real severe, dedicated disciplined passion for acting. You can have all the talent in the world, but if you're not committed to putting in the work and the discipline, you might get far, I don't know, but you're not going to be fulfilled in at least the way that I'm learning to be authentically happy doing my art, if that makes sense.

Q: What happened during the six-week Summer Intensive specifically that changed your perspective on acting and training?

A: A lot of failures, honestly. A lot of falling but having the gumption and the bravery to keep coming back because it's something I do care about, and then finding ways to look at a failure as an opportunity to learn and succeed in something else. Just the idea that the community that we built here and how vulnerable you can be and intimate. That's really what I fell in love with the studio. It's just such a high culture to be a part of. It's so welcoming to be as free and expressive and imaginative as possible. That's the mark that made me happy to be here.

I love the studio. I love the people. I like what we're learning. It's not always easy. It's most of the time not easy at all, but I'm not here to be patted on the back, I'm here to learn how to be what I'm destined to be.

Q: What did you learn about yourself during the Summer Intensive that was a surprise or that changed you?

A: I learned way too much about myself. I learned that I'm such a people pleaser. I learned that I have a thematic cord of unrequited love. I just learned that-- I learned-- I could talk about this forever, but I learned a lot about myself. What has meaning to me, what it means for me to be an artist, what it means for me to be a passionate person, to have discipline. Yes, I just learned a lot about the inner workings of how my emotions run within myself, and how my imagination works, and just how I maneuver with people outside of acting like how I interact with my family, how I communicate with people on the street.

It's just opened my eyes to-- I'm not 100% there yet, but to knowing more and more of who my authentic self is when you cut out all the societal or normalized perceptions that we have of ourselves or that we think that others have of us.

Q: Two part question, when you started the Summer Intensive, was it your intention to do the six weeks and not go into the two-year program?

A: Yes.

Q: What made you after the six-week Summer Acting Program, make the big commitment to take the leap and join the two-year program?

A: Yes, I only thought I was going to be in the six-week program. Just because I was testing the waters, I'm not going to lie. It's a big financial commitment, and it's a big time commitment. I have a lot of other commercial and time commitments, but it's something that I care about. It's the one thing I care most about is being an actor. I found a way to make it happen for me to join the first year.

What really made me commit to that decision was just saying how much I did grow in only six weeks and then having the confidence in myself to know that I'm able to take on this task and to keep learning and growing, and even though it might not be at the pace as everyone else, that's something that I also loved and learned about Maggie. Inherently, it's a competitive environment because it's school. You're not trying to compare yourself to others, you're supportive, at least at the studio. Supportive of one another, and you work and learn from each other because you're partnered, and you get so much from the other people.

I think that the community that I built over the summer made me. Even if I didn't know they'd be going into the first year, I knew I could build that same community here because that's just the environment that it cultivates for artists.

Learn More About the Six-Week Summer Acting Program

Actors who are interested in the Meisner Summer Intensive can visit the studio website (https://www.maggieflaniganstudio.com/) to learn more about the summer acting programs. Admission to the studio is based on an interview with the head of acting for the studio, Charlie Sandlan. Interested actors should begin the process by completing the online studio application.

The above post Austin Kairis: Six Week Summer Acting Program Find more on: Acting Classes NYC

Austin Kairis: Six Week Summer Acting Program

[conradjlaird]

Austin Kairis: Six Week Summer Acting Program

The Meisner Summer Intensive at the Maggie Flanigan Studio allows actors to experience the first part of the professional actor training program as initially conceived by Sanford Meisner. In this section of the interview at the studio, Austin Kairis talks about starting the six-week summer acting program.

Summer Acting Program – Maggie Flanigan Studio – Austin Kairis Interview Pt 1

Q: Austin, tell me about your background in acting before you started the Six-Week Summer Acting Program at Maggie Flanigan Studio.

A: My experience in acting before I came to Maggie Flanigan was pretty much just high school, president of the drama club, things like that. It wasn’t anything super challenging, and it was just fun. It was always something I loved. When I was 12, I was the lead in a college production. That was my lead to things. My family doesn’t know anything about acting, so we had no idea how to get into the business, so I was doing like a community–

"I don't want to be just an actor; I want to be an artist. This training is making me more attuned to who I am as a person and what kind of artist I want to be."

Austin KairisStudent, Summer Acting Program

My parents didn’t even want me to be in it necessarily, but they knew that I liked to do it. They found a community college that I auditioned for. I was the lead in this community college play. That just trickled into high school and things like that. Then we found out that you should get an agent or something like that in Chicago, so I got one, but that took a little bit different route with modeling and stuff. I had a one-liner on Chicago Fire and a one-liner in a movie that was shot in Chicago. I didn’t have any technique at all. It was pretty much just luck, maybe raw talent, and only my charisma.

Q: What were you doing before you came to the studio? Were you studying anywhere else in New York, were you taking classes, auditioning?

A: I was not auditioning at all in New York, but I did take a few classes at Susan Batson Studio. I did like it, but I didn’t have any foundation to use. Also, I’m not 100% sure I love the Strasberg technique. I want to learn more about it may be. I do like Meisner a lot. I studied at UCB. I love comedy. I feel like there was a part of me which I still love comedy and it hits hard. I have a lot of respect for it, but there was part of me that thought I wasn’t severe enough to do dramatic work.

After talking to some friends, I heard Maggie Flanigan come up over and over and over again. I’ve always known when I studied on Stella Adler, Meisner, Strasberg; I always knew that Meisner was something that I wanted to do. I thought I had a vivid imagination and I feel like this is the one that takes advantage of that. That’s how I knew I wanted to do this program.

Q: What do you think it meant to train as an actor before you started the six-week Summer Intensive?

A: Honestly, I’m not even entirely sure I had an opinion on what it meant to be a trained actor. Charlie has also said it before; actors are the least respected art form because anyone can do it. Anyone can do it. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it well or doing it with a purpose, intention, emotion. As you see, you can watch a great Netflix series. The stars are there; they’re acting, they’re saying their lines to each other.

I don’t know. I feel like this training is making me more attuned to who I am as a person and what kind of artist I want to be. I don’t want to be just an actor; I want to be an artist. I am an artist. Through that artistry, I decided to act, and that’s how I do it. Before, I didn’t have too much of an idea of training. Now I realized how important training is.

Summer Acting Program – The Meisner Summer Intensive Begins

Q: What do you think it means to train now as an actor?

A: What do I think it means now to train as an actor? I think it means to have a real severe, dedicated disciplined passion for acting. You can have all the talent in the world, but if you’re not committed to putting in the work and the discipline, you might get far, I don’t know, but you’re not going to be fulfilled in at least the way that I’m learning to be authentically happy doing my art, if that makes sense.

Q: What happened during the six-week Summer Intensive specifically that changed your perspective on acting and training?

A: A lot of failures, honestly. A lot of falling but having the gumption and the bravery to keep coming back because it’s something I do care about, and then finding ways to look at a failure as an opportunity to learn and succeed in something else. Just the idea that the community that we built here and how vulnerable you can be and intimate. That’s really what I fell in love with the studio. It’s just such a high culture to be a part of. It’s so welcoming to be as free and expressive and imaginative as possible. That’s the mark that made me happy to be here.

I love the studio. I love the people. I like what we’re learning. It’s not always easy. It’s most of the time not easy at all, but I’m not here to be patted on the back, I’m here to learn how to be what I’m destined to be.

Meisner Six-Week Summer Acting Program – Maggie Flanigan Studio – Call 917-789-1599

Q: What did you learn about yourself during the Summer Intensive that was a surprise or that changed you?

A: I learned way too much about myself. I learned that I’m such a people pleaser. I learned that I have a thematic cord of unrequited love. I just learned that– I learned– I could talk about this forever, but I learned a lot about myself. What has meaning to me, what it means for me to be an artist, what it means for me to be a passionate person, to have discipline. Yes, I just learned a lot about the inner workings of how my emotions run within myself, and how my imagination works, and just how I maneuver with people outside of acting like how I interact with my family, how I communicate with people on the street.

It’s just opened my eyes to– I’m not 100% there yet, but to knowing more and more of who my authentic self is when you cut out all the societal or normalized perceptions that we have of ourselves or that we think that others have of us.

Q: Two part question, when you started the Summer Intensive, was it your intention to do the six weeks and not go into the two-year program?

A: Yes.

Q: What made you after the six-week Summer Acting Program, make the big commitment to take the leap and join the two-year program?

A: Yes, I only thought I was going to be in the six-week program. Just because I was testing the waters, I’m not going to lie. It’s a big financial commitment, and it’s a big time commitment. I have a lot of other commercial and time commitments, but it’s something that I care about. It’s the one thing I care most about is being an actor. I found a way to make it happen for me to join the first year.

What really made me commit to that decision was just saying how much I did grow in only six weeks and then having the confidence in myself to know that I’m able to take on this task and to keep learning and growing, and even though it might not be at the pace as everyone else, that’s something that I also loved and learned about Maggie. Inherently, it’s a competitive environment because it’s school. You’re not trying to compare yourself to others, you’re supportive, at least at the studio. Supportive of one another, and you work and learn from each other because you’re partnered, and you get so much from the other people.

I think that the community that I built over the summer made me. Even if I didn’t know they’d be going into the first year, I knew I could build that same community here because that’s just the environment that it cultivates for artists.

Six-Week Summer Acting Program in New York at Maggie Flanigan Studio with Charlie Sandlan

Learn More About the Six-Week Summer Acting Program

Actors who are interested in the Meisner Summer Intensive can visit the studio website (https://www.maggieflaniganstudio.com/) to learn more about the summer acting programs. Admission to the studio is based on an interview with the head of acting for the studio, Charlie Sandlan. Interested actors should begin the process by completing the online studio application.

The post Austin Kairis: Six Week Summer Acting Program appeared first on Meisner Acting - The Maggie Flanigan Studio New York NY - 917-789-1599.

Austin Kairis: Six Week Summer Acting Program