#it’s cool to make the story still somewhat accurate to my Actual storyline even though there’s no ascension plots here

[simcardiac-arrested]

I am super curious what would you have for de au canon once/if you come up with what you want for it. No pressure tho, it is your fun au.

Idk. I thought Wade and NWB could be a thing in which case it was probably something that NS was initially okay about but then it really drove him up the wall. He probably wanted to tell NWB but also couldn't bring himself to think about Wade or consider even a possibility of meeting him again. Or alternatively he didn't know, he just knew Wade was dating someone. And was completely blown up when he found out during current timeline.

The question is Wade's parents and how did they react to NWB. Harry ends up in police since it was upward mobility for him and Dora and them encouraged him towards this. I am not sure it would be a same situation here since, idk, I think they would hate NWB since let go.

like i said before wade and nwb arent a thing in the disco elysium au because that’s just not what their dynamic is supposed to be. yes i’m well aware that harry/dora is a romantic relationship but i’m not going to make this au 100% accurate to the game, like i’ve already changed the kim & harry dynamic for ns & nwb (because in the game kim & harry are cool with eachother, meanwhile ns & nwb aren’t) so i’m also changing the whole thing about dora into something less romantic but just as mentally ill if not more👍

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

Hi! Love your takes on 19 days especially tianshan!! They are very insightful and a fun read! Idk if you already wrote about this, but I was wondering what your take would be if he tian came to save Mo instead of She li. I wonder how their dynamic would be in the present. Would they be more like zhanyi?

Hello, dear anon!

Waah, thank you for such praises! I’m glad you have enjoyed reading my mullings!

As a heads-up, this turned much longer than I anticipated, so better find a comfortable seat.

“what your take would be if he tian came to save Mo instead of She li”

I haven’t actually thought about this before, so thank you for this interesting avenue that had never even crossed my mind. The more I thought about this, the more question popped up. I feel like this would be a pretty significant change, especially for MGS’s character. To try and keep this scenario somewhat in control, I scrolled through the comic with your question in mind and let my nose sniff out where the “new” story would take me. So, this might not be exactly a “realistic” take on it but more like where the story and characters would go in my head if things had been different.

The question of timeline

First, I feel like we need to figure out the correct timeline for all this, so it’s easier to gauge HT and MGS’s characters more accurately. According to my calculations, SL saved MGS sometime during their first year of middle school (ch. 282, 319):

In the current canon storyline, they are in their last year (3rd year) of middle school, so two years off that would put the piercing incident somewhere on their first year. (Look at my mad math skills.) I’m assuming the first school year had already begun since SL had transferred and already gained some reputation at school. Other than rumors, he hadn't crossed MGS’s path.

So, let’s figure out 1st year MGS and HT. With MGS, we have seen glimpses of what kind of character he was (ch. 319, 283):

He had many of the characteristics that are familiar to us in the current timeline, too. He was caring and compassionate. His first instinct was to help, and he dint want to see people hurt. I believe he still has those qualities these days, but he’s learned to hide and suppress those instincts the hard way. I feel like compared to the current MGS, the 1st-year MGS was more pure, innocent, and trusting in many ways. He seemed to believe in a world where doing good to others surely was the way to go.

1st-year HT, on the other hand, is pretty much a mystery to us. Apart from some flashbacks from his childhood prior to middle school, we haven't seen more of his past. Even his first introduction in the comic was a bit awkward the way he just suddenly popped up and it wasn’t really clear what his relationship with JY and ZZX was exactly. 

What was the mindset of 1st-year HT? Had he already made up his mind that he wouldn't become like his brother and father? Was he already living alone or still with his family? Was Mr. He already abroad or still in China?

I think HT’s living situation is probably what would give us the most hints about whatever mindset he might have. But the only thing we really have to go on is when MGS came to visit him for the first time (ch. 144):

Again, this doesn't give us much. It’s impossible to say for sure if HT was already living by himself as a 1st-year student, but somehow I doubt that. Despite everything, 12-13 is still mighty young to be living by himself. And I have a feeling based on the way HC and Mr. He seem to put importance on family sticking together, they probably didn't let HT go live alone without a long fight and debate. So, I think it’s very likely HT was still living at home as a 1st-year. Most probably at his brother’s place that seems like their primary home before Mr. He went abroad?

Based on that, I think HT might have not made up his mind on becoming a savior/hero of sorts yet. At least not in so many words. Home was probably an unpleasant and stressful place for him, and he would rather spend time elsewhere. When at home, he probably spent a lot of time in his room or roaming the nature surrounding them. Home was somewhere where he had to keep his guard up and be constantly prepared for whatever. He was exposed to and (in)directly involved in things that he disapproved of and most probably scared him. At school, he excelled in all the subjects. In some ways, studying was an out for him even though getting good grades was also expected of him. He was always surrounded by a lot of people at school and was very popular, but no one really knew him outside of school. He didn’t open up about himself.

So, that’s how I see the characters set up for the new scenario.

Mo Guan Shan in distress

Now, finally to the beginning of it all. To help us all get in the right mood, I hope you will excuse my very serious 3AM edits (ch. 319):

A crazy homeless man was attacking an innocent, pure MGS. His young life was flashing before his eyes. The man on top of him is too heavy. The grip around his throat too strong. It’s getting harder and harder to breathe, and black spots are dancing at the edge of his vision.

Just as MGS is about to pass out, something flashes at the corner of his eyes but it’s hard to tell in the dimness of the alleyway. There is a loud, heavy thud, and the grip around MGS’s throat slacks. The man is being flung off him and slumps on the wet pavement. MGS scrambles to his knees, coughing and gasping for breath. The cool rainy air tastes sweet rushing down his burning throat.

A bit out of it, he glances up and sees a dark-haired boy - about his age - who’s holding a heavy liquor bottle. The sharp edges of the bottle’s bottom are smeared with crimson. The sight of blood dripping to the ground makes MGS’s stomach turn a little. He makes the mistake of looking at the limp homeless man lying in a puddle and almost throws up at the spreading blotch of dark red on the back of the man’s head. He starts to tremble when he realizes how close to being killed he had just come.

I would picture that HT is shaken by what he had done, too. Picking up the bottle had been like an instinct to him. He had swung it as hard as he could, not really thinking the consequences. Now, though, a small panic monster in his head whispers that he had probably killed someone.

But the panic monster doesn't get very far in its fear-mongering until HT’s training kicks in. Still squeezing the neck of the heavy bottle, he creeps to the crazy man, ready to bounce if he decides to go for a second round. Even in the heavy rain, he can smell the thick odor of homelessness and alcoholism. He doesn't really want to touch the man but reaches to check for a pulse. It’s there, but otherwise the man is out cold.

Only then he really pays attention to the scrawny red-haired boy still on his knees. He looks at HT wide-eyed, shaking, and obviously in shock. There are red prints already forming around his throat where the man had strangled him.

“Is - ,” the redhead says shakily, his voice a bit hoarse, “is he de - did he - “

“He’s still breathing.”

“Am-ambulance,” the boy says, now more anxiously and looking around, “we need an ambulance. Police! Someone!”

HT doesn't reply but flips out his phone. The boy keeps glancing at him as he gets a hold of HC on the other end and explains the situation. He frowns when it doesn't sound like a 911 call to him.

“Who was that?”

“My brother. He knows what to do.”

Well, HT knew what to do, too, but he wasn’t in the position to make those things happen. Not yet, at least. But he knew.

HT asks where MGS lives and offers to walk him the rest of the way. MGS seems confused about should they just leave the man and not wait for his brother. HT assures him that his brother will come any minute now. It’s all under control. The words kind of come out of his mouth without him even realizing what he’s saying. He would like to think it’s the shock but knows it’s his training. It’s the protocol. When you follow certain steps, there is no need to panic.

And yet his hands are trembling when he finally puts the bottle down. Oh, well. He would fake till he made it.

On their way to MGS’s home, MGS is quiet and just clutches his backpack against his front. HT tilts the umbrella to cover MGS more, seeing how he is shaking from cold and shock.

HT tries to make idle conversation. He asks MGS’s name, where he goes to school, what was he doing out in the rain, is there anyone at home, and maybe mentions that he’s seen MGS around the school. Little by little the atmosphere starts to loosen and the tightness in MGS’s voice eases up. Talking also relaxes HT.

At MGS’s house, MGS looks at HT and asks if he wants to come inside to dry up. He’s frowning a little and seems worried. HT looks at him a bit dumbfounded and then bursts out a laugh.

“You really are quite something,” he says at MGS’s confused face. “You just survived all that and you’re already inviting a stranger to your home. Are you an idiot?”

MGS’s face darkens, and he says that if HT would rather walk back in soaked clothes, then it’s his business. He looks hurt and embarrassed. The attitude makes HT smile a little, though, and he tousles the wet red hair.

“I’ll see you around,” he says and leaves with a little wave over his shoulder.

He makes a mental note to keep an eye out for a certain red hair at school from now on.

Having a friend in each other

They start running into each other at school more. (Well, HT started rotating towards MGS.) Turns out MGS has seen him around school, too. He says that HT seems popular and the girls often talk about him in class. He seems a bit confused as to why HT is seeking out his company when he has so many other friends.

MGS is a bit awkward around him, but HT finds it endearing. He’s quick to rise to teasing baits and shows his emotions quite a lot if you knew where to look. To HT, he seemed like a pure-hearted kid. Probably too pure-hearted for his own good. He was a bit stiff at first, but with some coaxing, you could get him to talk. HT liked listening to him talk the most.

The more they got to know each other, the more HT found himself hanging onto MGS’s company. When school days ended, he lingered at the crossroads where their paths parted. He made up excuses to walk MGS home or to his part-time jobs. (He thought MGS was amazing for working already, but MGS just shrugged.) Finally, walking MGS home continued to get himself invited inside for homework, snacks, some games, dinner, staying the night on Fridays.

HT soaked in all the sense of home he could get at MGS’s place. The messy pile of shoes in the entryway. The scribbled notes on the fridge door. The home-cooking. The older models of video games MGS had. The smell of cheap detergent on the sheets when he was sleeping on the floor of MGS’s small room.

Mrs. Mo was a bit surprised by his son’s unexpected friend at first but quickly adopted HT as a natural part of the household. She was more at peace knowing that MGS had some company after school when she had to work late. Sometimes she listened to the boys talk (read: HT teasing and MGS bickering) in MGS’s room. It felt like this new friend had bought some of MGS’s lost childhood back to her son’s voice.

The tighter they became, the more they naturally learned about each other. The topic of family was sore for both of them and something they didn't talk about often. MGS often got heated when the talk circulated to his father. Heated in a way that HT didn't find cute. He got angry and bitter. Usually, HT let him vent through it quietly. But MGS didn't hide things as such even though he didn't really like to talk about some of them. Instead, he was convinced and would stand his ground vehemently.

HT, on the other hand, was more evasive. He didn't want to put MGS in a position where he would know too much. MGS seemed impressed by HT’s brother. He sounded a bit jealous. HT also avoided saying much because he was ashamed. Here he was sitting in this home of good, decent people and enjoying their hospitality while he really was part of the bad guys in the world. His people were the ones who MGS hated so much when he talked about his father’s imprisonment.

But then something happened within HT’s world. Something that shocked him and scared him and gave him a traumatic experience. One day at school, he was visibly on edge and distracted. He looked increasingly tired. He snapped at MGS which he very rarely did. When at the end of the day, MGS asked if he wanted to come over (it was Friday), he was a bit relieved but also worried when HT said no. HT never said no to that.

That night Mrs. Mo had the late-night shift, so MGS was alone when HT suddenly showed up with a duffel bag. He looked horrible. There was an angry red mark on his cheek and a trickle/smear of dried up blood on the corner of his mouth. His eyes were red-rimmed. He hung his head low, asking MGS if he could stay the night after all.

MGS told him to take a bath. He heated up the leftover rice-noodle soup he had had for dinner. HT looked a bit lost coming out of the bath. MGS told him to take a seat and served the food. Quietly and slowly, being careful of his cut lip, HT slurped the soup. He wouldn’t meet MGS’s eyes.

MGS wanted to ask what the hell was going on but decided against it every time the questions danced on his tongue. He was curious but he had never seen HT like this. He looked darker. At some points of the night, MGS felt like he couldn't really recognize him at all.

MGS made HT a bed on the floor the usual way. HT just turned his back to him and hummed in return when MGS said good night. After a while, MGS drifted off but woke up to strange noises. It sounded like heavy breathing. Not panting exactly but more like...gasping for breath. He snapped the lights on and found HT sitting on his makeshift bed. His eyes were wide, and it looked like he was breathing hard but couldn't breathe at the same time.

Luckily MGS had been around enough hyperventilation to know what it looked like. He hurried to find a paper bag from the kitchen, cursing that the damn things were everywhere but seemed to vanish when you really needed them. He helped HT press the opening of the bag tightly against his gaping mouth. At first, it looked like HT got more panicked, but MGS kept pressing the bag firmly.

Little by little, HT’s breathing calmed down and the wild look in his eyes faded. Finally, he pushed MGS’s hands away and tried to go for a grin and joke how this was pretty lame of him but he couldn't quite work his charm. A bit lost, MGS wondered what to do. Then he asked if HT wanted to read some comics till they got sleepy again. HT didn't want to read but asked if MGS would read. And keep the lights on. And like that - while MGS was glancing at panels of high-school-level humor - HT told him about having a fight with his father, talking back to him, knowing when he had pushed over the limit, and the next thing his head had been ringing.

MGS didn't know which freaked him out more: the story, the flatness of HT’s voice, or when his voice started to get thick and he pressed his face tight against the pillow. MGS hesitated if he should comfort HT somehow but it all felt too awkward. So, he just listened and hummed whenever there was s suitable pause. Eventually, HT fell silent and after a while, MGS noticed he had fallen asleep. He fixed the blanket over HT’s shoulders, climbed to his own bed, and left the lights on.

HT stayed the weekend, but they didn't really talk about that night afterwards. The next morning, HT seemed more to himself, smirking and teasing, gobbling the breakfast MGS made them. Mrs. Mo looked at HT a bit funny when she came home from her shift but didn't say anything. She just gave the boys a free night from doing the dishes.

Overall, they got to know each other better than anyone else at school. HT knew about MGS’s excitable, softer, and adorable side. He was a good kid who worked hard and around whom HT felt at ease, though silently guilty. MGS knew the HT that wasn’t the kind of charmer everyone at school saw him as. Despite being so popular, he seemed strangely lonely to MGS. He guessed HT had some kind of darker side that he didn't want to talk about and tried to hide. MGS doubted anyone had seen HT like that other night. It seemed his family was mixed up in some shady business, and MGS didn't quite know how to feel about that.

The angst of unrequited love?

You mentioned if this version of Tianshan would be closer to Zhanyi, and I think that could be possible. I doubt they would be that kind of softer, lovey-dovey dynamic, but my nose kind of sniffed a possibility for a similar unrequited love as JY had.

HT could start gaining romantic feelings for MGS somewhere along the way. But in my head, he would hide his feelings much the same way he does/did in the canon version, just take it to a more obvious level. Mask his feelings with jokes and double meanings. Make him kind of push but then pull back as if unsure.

His feelings for MGS would be laced with believing he doesn’t deserve to be loved by someone like MGS. He’s one of the bad guys. MGS is one of the good ones, and his family has been hurt by people like HT enough. And yet HT craves for what he has with MGS and nurses his unrequited love. It gives him both pain and comfort.

But he didn't want to confess. For one, he wasn’t sure where MGS stood on things like love. He seemed awkward around girls and often ended up scaring them off by his glare and harsh tone. The topic of romance hadn't really come up, or if it had, MGS usually remained silent. One time HT had decided to roll the dice and brought up jerking off. MGS had gone beet-red and stammered that what the hell was HT talking about. For a moment, HT had toyed with the idea of pushing for more but decided against it and brushed the topic off as a joke. MGS had looked damn cute, though.

Secondly, and more importantly, HT didn't think he was worthy of MGS the way he was now. He needed to do better, he wanted to do better. He needed to make decisions instead of slinking around like a kicked puppy. He needed a vision for himself and then pursue it. So, he decided to become someone better for MGS. Someone strong and good and reliable. His own man. The first step was him making HC talk their father into letting HT live by himself. The school was a good enough excuse.

At the same time, they grew a bit apart. MGS got older and took on more part-time jobs. HT concentrated on working on himself. He lost sight of MGS for a while, and it turned out things had gone worse for him. As HT was busy becoming a better man, MGS had grown more bitter and angry. It wasn’t until HT learned that MGS had agreed to get expelled from school that he woke up to what direction MGS had drifted to. On HT’s watch, too.

They had a big argument about the deal. They had often bickered in the past but never really had a serious fight. HT was angry MGS was knowingly mixing up with people SL even though they were obviously taking advantage of him and basically making him write them a blank check. MGS fired back that how could HT understand anything since HT was people like SL. That cut deep for HT, and it was the first time he wanted to slap MGS. Instead, they got their separate ways, brooding and glaring.

The next time HT saw MGS’s face, he knew something had gone horribly wrong. He heard that MGS was accused of assaulting some girl. Furious, he went to confront MGS about how stupid he had been, but all the anger died when he saw how shaken MGS was. He looked completely lost and horrified. All he seemed able to worry about was “they are going to tell my mother”. HT hugged him tight and said that everything was going to be fine. He will sort this out, don’t worry.

He fought with SL and got HC involved, too. HC took care of the deal, but HT never told MGS how exactly it had happened. In the same way he had never told him that the homeless man had been dead by the time HC’s crew had gotten to the alleyway. Instead, HT shoved the guilt deeper where it fueled his drive to become a better man.

But HT decided one thing after that fiasco. He wouldn’t let MGS drift away anymore. He wouldn’t get so wrapped up in his own vision that he lost sight of what mattered the most.

That is I guess where this AU version kind of leaves off and connects to the canon story? This version of Tianshan would have their friendship established first, and HT’s romantic feelings would come later. They would be more unrequited in a similar angsty way as JY’s. The trust between would have also been established through their growing friendship. I feel like there would be tons of things that could be added to this, especially ending-wise, but...yeah, something like this maybe?

Thank you for your wonderfully interesting question, dear anon! How do you vision their relationship would have developed?

[interestsofabookwormbitch]

Ramble

Me and my music journey

I guess I'm basically writing a little ramble about my music journey thus far. I don't know, ever since I've gotten into MCR I've been feeling a lot of things, and I really need to let it out, so decided Tumblr would be the perfect place. Of course, I will likely focus a lot on My Chemical Romance at the end, but before I even get there I'm going to have to write at least a little about my other two favs, Green Day and Adam Lambert. If you guys don't want to read it I totally understand, it's really just for me to let out my thoughts anyway.

So, I don't know if anyone here knows anything about me, but I'm a very obsessive person. When I get into something I hyper fixate on it so much it's probably unhealthy. Usually these obsessions last about a month I'd say, give or take a week, and then I feel my interest wane. I then have maybe another month of being strongly invested before completely moving on. It's by the end of the first month however that I can usually tell whether I actually enjoy this obsession or not (if not I leave then). The answer is almost always, yes, I do still enjoy it, although a lot of things do fall into obscurity, and I don't remember them much after the second month. There are also those things that I still feel really strongly for, like Harry Potter. I know these are the things that will last with me forever, and continue to influence my life, even if I don't love them as much as I initially did.

This hyper fixation also extends to music, although I'll admit to only recently figuring that out. Nearly a year ago exactly I decided I wanted to go through some bands and artists, so I made an alphabetized list to go through to add. Unfortunately I realized that my hyper fixation extended to music with the first artist on the list; Adam Lambert.

For about a month straight I only listened to his music. I watched countless videos of him and I'll even admit that he was the first actual person that I shipped with someone else(Adommy). I'm actually grateful for that, because as weird as some people might think it is-heck as weird as I thought it was-it helped me to realize that innocently shipping and partaking in fanfiction wasn't hurting anyone, and this made my experience in certain bands much more enjoyable.

Music wise I'll admit that Adam's style is sometimes not exactly tailored to my taste, but what he may lack in the musical sound he more than made up for in vocals. The main reason I loved him was the way that his voice makes me picture melted chocolate being slowly poured into a mould. It's so full and rich, and even now, after my obsessive stage has passed I can still say his voice is one of the most comforting sounds I know.

Obviously I still adore Adam Lambert to this day, and I even have all of his available music on my playlist; but my fixation faded, as it does with most things, and I by summer I realized I couldn't survive musically off of only Adam Lambert. So, I went back to my old playlist, just this time filled with more Adam than before.

The summer was quite an uneventful one for me, so I quickly grew bored, and I decided to go through another artists discography. This time I chose to go through Green Day. They were my favourite band as a kid (because of one song) so I thought they'd be a good choice.

Boy was that the right call. I loved them! Absolutely adored their music and personalities. And I still do. Their concerts look like a blast, and almost all of their songs are amazing. I'm not musically knowledgeable enough to pass critical judgement on their abilities, but I am able to pass judgement on their music, and it's incredible. It made me feel countless different emotions, and that's exactly what music is supposed to do. Out of all their albums I am expecially partial to American Idiot and Revolution Radio. The storyline in AI, and the political commentary in both were especially good in my opinion, leading me to agree the somewhat popular belief that Green Day is at their best when American politics are at their worst.

I will admit that as much as I loved everyone in the band, I didn't really click with them. I couldn't relate to the members, which upset me a little. It did not, however, diminish my love for them in the least, and I would die happy if I got to go to one of their concerts.

Again, just like with everything, I couldn't live just off of Green Day, so I reentered my full playlist again eventually, and this time it had a significantly larger amount of Green Day songs. On top of that I also created a playlist for my favourite artists, which at the time consisted only of two people. Still was a pretty large list though.

Finally, my music journey thus far in life has lead me to My Chemical Romance. I actually decided to give them a shot because of a Green Day fan I was talking to online. I don't ever have people earnestly suggest stuff to me, so when this person suggested My Chemical Romance so enthusiastically I just knew they had to be my next band. So they went on a new list, one they were the top of. Due to school and stress I hadn't been able to really give them a shot until a month and a half ago.

During spring break I was working on this novel I'm writing, and I wanted to listen to music. Well, I didn't have my phone, so my playlist wasn't an option. I wasn't feeling Adam Lambert at that time, and Green Day would not set the right mood for the story, so I settled on playing My Chemical Romance on the computer as I wrote.

By the time I finished writing that day I was in love. I had gone through their four studio albums twice, and had decided that I should name each chapter after their songs (probably not a good idea, but I fell in love). The next few nights and days I spent endless time listening to their music and watching videos. I downloaded Venganza! And the Black Parade Is Dead both, and I have Life On The Murder Scene saves to my phone. I became obsessed, like usual.

The thing is, it didn't quite feel like the normal obsession for me. Back then I didn't want to think too much on it, as I assumed it was just my hyper fixation kicking in. It's now been nearly two months, and I'm just now thinking about letting other music back in. I still think about them everyday, and I don't think I've gone more than half a day without scrolling through the Tumblr tag.

See, with My Chemical Romance I think I found a band that actually sings to my heart. It almost feels like they were writing these songs for me with how much I connect with them. Obviously not all of them in the same way, but if the lyrics don't fit me, the story they do fit is extremely amazing to me, and the music always knocks it out of the park. Something about Gerard's vocals always always makes me feel something, and he absolutely excels at conveying emotion with his voice.

And it doesn't stop at their music. Each band member is so precious to me. Just thinking about them makes my heart want to burst. Sometimes it's with joy, other times it's with sadness and other times it's just too many emotions. I've cried more over this band than almost anything else in my life. I've only been invested in them for such a short time, but I can honestly say I don't want to live a life without them in it. And I don't mean without the band, that ended in 2013, sadly, but also for their own mental wellbeing, ao its fine. What I mean is that I'm just so happy I live in a world where they existed.

They make me feel complete. It's as if they were a missing piece to me my whole life, and now that it's here, I'm more free to be me. And I am more me now. I hide less, and care less about opinions. They made me realize more than anyone else that I'm who I am and that's ok. That I can be a total geek and nerd and loner and fucking loser, and it's cool. Or more accurately, it's not cool, but who the fuck cares? It's me.

Honestly, for such a tiny m amount of time in my life I think My Chemical Romance has left the biggest impact. And it's not just my hyper fixation talking either. I really mean what I said, and I am eternally grateful for them.

Really I'm grateful for everyone I've mentioned in this post. As much as I love My Chemical Romance, they can't take all the praise. Both Green Day and Adam Lambert have also helped me realise so much, and I will love them forever along with countless other musicians who have helped to shape me. And honestly, this whole post does no justice for anything in it. Words cannot describe how important all this music has been to me in my life.

[drink-n-watch]

  Genre : Action, comedy, crime, science-fiction

Episodes: 13 + 3

Studio:

One thing that we can pretty much count on is that as long as humans have working brains, they will try to find ways to mess with them. The latest and most potent way is the designer drug Anthem, which goes way beyond just altering your perceptions, it alters your actual DNA. In fact, if you’re not careful, you could end up as something which is no longer quite human…or just dead. That’s why it’s outlawed! But how do you deal with criminals that are literally superhuman? You send in your “best”! The detectives of the Seven 0 unit risk their lives every day to keep the citizens safe and Anthem off the streets. Don’t call them heroes, they are just doing their jobs. And starting now, Kirill is one of them!

First Anthem is a great name for a drug. It’s poetic, symbolic, easy to say and remember, positive in connotation. I am putting way too much thought into the marketing applications of illegal drugs. Second, that synopsis I just wrote is very accurate and super boring. Don’t go by it. Double Decker is a fun, often very silly show. I kept thinking of Brooklyn 99 if that can give you an idea. But then also of Breaking Bad a little… It’s not as funny as Brooklyn 99 or as well written as Breaking Bad but it makes up for it in weirdness and colour! Double Decker is just a queer little show in the best way. Pun intended!

why did this image seem to fit?

I have to say, the first thing that hit me as soon as I started this series was: whoa the colours! I haven’t been taken by such a sumptuous and prominent colour palette since No Game No Life. I figure this will probably divide viewers somewhat. The colours are rich and bright but they could also be called loud and potentially headache inducing. For me, that pop art palette is a selling point though and I must say my screencaps do not do it justice.

With such an in your face element, it’s sort of difficult to get passed the colours to the rest of the production. If you do though, the second thing you are likely to notice is the CG. The CG is… well, it’s ok. Some episodes are pretty CG heavy and it’s not incorporated as smoothly as it could be. But when used more sparingly it actually creates some very interesting dynamic effects that work well with the high action scenes. It’s actually heavier in the first few episodes and I was worried that it would end up being distracting but the 3D team seems to have found the proper balance as the series wore on and later episodes, which use it more sparingly, actually have some very good CG integration.

I never get tired of the gorgeous skyline

Wow, I really didn’t think I would talk this much about production. Fact is, Double Decker has a very distinctive look to it. Not only for what I’ve mentioned above but in actual design as well. Thankfully, I think the screencaps do a better job of showing those. Like anything that’s unusual, that can be a plus or a minus. I liked it, so it worked for me, if you don’t you may actually find it enough of a turn off to drop the show. This said, the sound is in fact quite good and the voice acting has a lot of chemistry even if individual performances don’t stand out as much.

Alright, so it’s a cool looking show. What else… I’ve come to realize that I am not the best person to review these types of series. What I mean is that I have a real soft spot for goofy action comedies with a criminal element. For instance, I rated much higher than average last year’s Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens. I’m also a big Archer fangirl. It’s a very specific niche that happens to speak to me, so I’m by no means objective in this review.

My review doesn’t make it clear but Travis sort of rules

I enjoyed this show a lot more than the average viewer, so my review is going to show that. But let me tell you why. The underlying organized crime story is in fact pretty solidly thought out. The organizations are described in enough detail to give you a real sense of everything that’s going on and the tension and danger are present despite the generally humorous tone of the series. If you like crime procedurals, there is enough groundwork in the storyline to keep you interested.

 This said I started the series firmly believing this was a mecha show, and for the longest time, I had no idea why. There is a pretty drastic tonal and genre switch that happens in the last few episodes that I did not see coming. It’s not exactly seamless, there is a reason I called this show messy in my title. There are some plot holes and a few contrivances. The story could have used a bit more background to really evolve naturally. But it still works.

 An effort has been put in to tie all the disparate genre elements together and give decent explanations for all the events of the series. Some are a little contrived but the whole thing holds together rather well and when you consider just how nutty things get, that’s pretty impressive, to say the least.

self-awareness is important

Although this isn’t an important element, I feel I should drop a line for all the nontraditional gender and sexual orientation representation in this series. A lot of characters and relationships do not follow social norms but both gender and sexuality are presented as incidental character traits rather than defining ones which I really appreciated. Double Decker is a very accepting show and I found it refreshing. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Kirill, the main character gets mistaken for a woman very regularly and although he is occasionally annoyed and corrects the misconception, in general, he never gets mad about it or considers it an insult or even a joke. It’s more of a catalyst for later events than a running gag. As for the clearly more traditionally masculine female character, it’s never even brought up and her femininity is never questioned despite her imposing physical strength.

 That’s a long paragraph for something I thought was barely worth mentioning. I watched Double Decker in June when questions of sexuality and identity were all around me and I just thought the series presented it particularly well while keeping its sense of humour about it. Kudos.

it’s a long story

The three extra episodes are side stories and slice of life events that happen in the course of the main storyline that for some reason weren’t included in the official season. I actually enjoyed them more and wish there had been more of those asides in the show as they fleshed out the characters beautiful and were just generally fun to watch. This is probably the first time I enjoyed the extras this much.

Overall, Double Decker is a well-made show with more than a few good moments. It’s not perfect and overreaches now and then but it succeeds more often than it fails. In my opinion, it’s worth a look. As the season stays fairly consistent throughout (the two background episodes on Doug and Max are particularly touching though), you should be able to get a good feel for the show from the first few episodes and decide if you want to see the rest. I would watch a second season in a heartbeat.

Side note : the frequent exposed brickwork and apartment interiors in this show were really beautiful. The hipster in me wanted to move there so bad!

so cool!

Favorite character: the narrator

What this anime taught me: modifying a bacterial shell with a virus’ DNA rewriting potential could yield a very powerful drug

Whenever the brain and the heart fight, it’s always the liver that suffers

Suggested drink: Double Decker Daiquiri

Every time Kirill talks to the narrator – take a sip

Every time there are comic book panels – take a sip

Every time anything is censored – gasp!

Every time anyone says Athem – take a deep breath

Every time someone gets called an idiot – get some water

Every time anyone mentions Derick – pour some out

Every time we see a cat – take a sip

Every time we see the King’s Kane – raise your glass

Every time someone gets drunk – join them

Every time anyone calls Kirill feminine – stretch

Every time Doug taps his temple – pay attention

Every time we see a chocolate bar – get a snack

Every time Doug talks about/does laundry – take a sip

Like I said, Double Decker is a very striking show. As usual, I have some more screencaps on imgur or Pinterest. I’m adding just a few here to get your interest!

Double Decker is a Little Messy and a Lot of Fun Genre : Action, comedy, crime, science-fiction Episodes: 13 + 3 Studio: One thing that we can pretty much count on is that as long as humans have working brains, they will try to find ways to mess with them.

[bluebudgie]

Path of Fire opinion time (it’s long I’m sorry)

First of all bear in mind that obviously I haven’t seen everything the expac has to offer, so these are “short term” opinions and might just be subject to change in the next weeks and months.

Secondly... I’ll try not to pull the “HoT comparison” card too often but I already know that I’ll fail at this. I just like to compare things. I’m sorry about that.

Spoilers ahead, though I’ll try to make them as vague as possible about the story. You have been warned though.

Ok here goes nothing:

The overall impression I’m having a lot of fun with this expac. The general “package” is satisfying, and even though launch on EU servers was a catastrophe it didn’t really taint the overall experience too much. But let’s get into details.

The maps As mentioned above, I haven’t seen everything. I have visited every map so far, have 100% completed one of them, and must have about 20%-60% on the others. At first I was afraid they would all feel a bit same-y but after a few days I have to say that each of them has nice and distinct features. I don’t know yet which of them is my favourite. The desert atmosphere comes across nicely (at least to someone who has never seen a desert in real life) and the lighting looks beautiful. Player wise they do feel a little empty at times, though that might just be the lack of big group events, or because everyone is running HoT HP trains like crazy at the moment. Traversing the maps with mounts is fun, though I could do with a little less mount switching at times. But then again the raptor is practically good for everything so who needs anything else than that (I am not biased).

My complaint about the maps in comparison to HoT would be that.. they feel a bit too central Tyria flatland style? I really liked the vertical depth of Verdant Brink and especially Tangled Depths and I was actually excited to see this style of maps being continued but.. oh well, can’t have everything. All new maps are absolutely beautiful and breathtaking, but nothing gave me the goosebumps I had the moment I was gliding down into the leyline confluence for the very first time.

The soundtrack The new songs are nice and fit the atmosphere well, though I do have the impression that there are a lot less newly composed songs than there were in HoT? Overall an enjoyable soundtrack but I have to say that it has absolutely nothing on the HoT soundtrack. Especially the battle tracks don’t even remotely compare in intensity. But honestly that HoT soundtrack was probably one of the best pieces of video game music ever made so I’m not surprised I didn’t get the same amount of “woaaaaaa” out of PoF music. Unfortunately, music is one of my absolute main criteria of how much I enjoy a game, so I think my overall opinion of the expac could have been boosted by another 50% of greatness  if the soundtrack had been anywhere as enjoyable for me as HoT. But hey. We got the Choya renown heart music and that is absolutely fantastic.

The story I’ve finished on sort of negative tones for the past two “categories” so let’s get the “negative” (quote unquote because it’s nitpicking) things out of the way first, and then let’s look at the really cool things. So once again, and I am truly sorry, but I have to say it.. preferred HoT storyline overall. While the storytelling did feel somewhat rushed in HoT, the general atmosphere and setting got to me a lot more and I felt the story instances were (to some extend) more unique. Hearts and Minds had an absolutely amazing final battle (topic: music again) and overall felt a bit more interesting in the general mechanics. Actually in general it’s one of the best story instances ever made. I’m sorry. I just really love the HoT story I will stan it forever. BUT - let’s get to the good parts. There’s plenty of them, I sound a lot more negative than I mean to be. By now most of you probably know that Lou and I run some sort of “two commanders canon” where both her character and mine are commanders in the same time. That story was perfect for this narrative. Lou was the instance owner of all story steps (with one exception), so her Shroom was the main.. “sufferer” of the story (you know what I mean if you played it), while my silent walnut took on the supporting role. I really enjoy this perspective of the story, and giving it our own little narrative twists makes it super fun. Especially if it’s so perfectly fitting for these two commanders, it’s almost eerie.. (raven spirit anyone? no really that was scaringly accurate).

One of my absolute favourite things about the story (in and outside of instances) and this expansion in general are the NPC dialogues. Some asura especially almost had me in tears. The dialogues are so well written, interacting with NPCs (or hearing your party members talk in instances) is super entertaining. In my opinion this is one of the strongest points the expac has going for it.

BUT THE ABSOLUTE BEST THING Casino Blitz my people. Have you seen the KITES you can buy for the casino coins?! They. Are. So. Cute. What a highlight. They SHINE in the dark. On the downsight casino blitz already gives me breakdowns like tarir did (seeing tier 3 fail twice in a row by 5 coins isn’t good for my mental health), but you know. You know, do it for the kites. The kites are worth it. Oh and that cute mini choya pinata. BUT FIRST THE KITES >:(

I think this about covers  the main points I wanted to talk about, of course there’s a lot more to discuss (gameplay, difficulty, weapons, armour, new attributes, The Market Crash, achievements, elite specs, the mounts in detail) but this has been long enough now. So, tl;dr Just by first impressions I did overall prefer HoT as an expac, BUT that still means that PoF is absolutely amazing and entertaining, with many many many great points and things to discover. And let’s see, perhaps over the long term I will like it even more.

[newmayhem]

Demon In My View Reread Review

Check out my other Den of Shadows reviews HERE.

Pre-read

I haven’t read this in over a decade, guys! I remembered really looking forward to reading this after I had first finished ITFOTN. At the time, I was just dipping my toes into my middle school goth phase, I really wanted to be a writer, and I was also hard core thirsting for Aubrey, so this book was all the way up my alley. I also remember really liking Jessica because she was very different from other YA heroines that I had been reading about at the time. I liked that like Risika, she was not a ‘nice girl’. She was confident and beautiful and had a bit of a mean streak. And, of course, I swooned at the romance. Also, it had a cool cover.

Specific scenes/images I remember:

Jessica being really hot and having black hair, pale skin, and green eyes

Jessica noting that the kid who made fun of her is reading her book

Jessica seeing Alex/Aubrey for the first time and he's wearing his upside down cross

Caryn offering Aubrey her blood

Jessica coming across a black rose bush

Pregnant Jazlyn at her husband's grave

Fala's in this, too

The ending scene where Jessica's says that she can't write without her laptop

Post-read Thoughts

I liked it. It has its problems and I’m definitely well beyond the target age range that this is intended for, but it was a fun time.

In terms of its formal qualities, I think that it was a good call to write this in 3rd person pov in the past tense (as opposed to 1st person pov in the present tense in ITFOTN). I think the 1st person narration was fine in ITFOTN because it added an extra layer to the story in having the reader question Risika’s reliability as a narrator, but DIMV would’ve been kind of insufferable if told from Jessica’s pov just by virtue of her being an abrasive teenager.

Even though, like ITFOTN, a lot of the relationships and characters needed more time to be fully fleshed out, and I noticed that the storyline did feel more complete than ITFOTN’s. I think this is mostly because it was all told sequentially (as opposed to being told in flashbacks), so it was necessary for the plot to have a clear arc.

There are a lot of digressions that explain more about vampires and witches and the histories of certain characters, and while I appreciated that as a fan of the series and as someone who’s doing research on it, it did distract from the story and I wish it had been folded in more seamlessly. There’s a lot of telling when there should be showing.

As with ITFOTN, I liked how fast-paced it was, but I also wished that it was maybe a hundred pages longer so everything could be better developed and there would be more room to show rather than tell. Like, I wished we could’ve had more time with Caryn and Hasana so that we could learn more about the witch world through their experiences rather than through all these digressions. I also feel like Fala (notably, the only unambiguously nonwhite character in the book) got shafted. I’m all for letting villains be villains, I don’t think we needed to give her some sort of sympathetic background or anything, but it felt like her motives were too petty to take seriously. She only popped up in the book to give some quick over the top threats or taunts a few times before the big showdown to remind us that there was a villain, and that made her feel very cartoonish and less like a real threat.

I also didn’t really buy the whole Jessica/Aubrey relationship. I mean, I could definitely buy it as a really strong attraction/infatuation, but once it was labelled as ‘love’, I got confused. Maybe vampires/immortals have a different definition of love? Like, maybe they take love less seriously (and use it as a catchall term) because they’ve been around for so long and they know that relationships don’t last forever? I might do a post on that actually.

I think both my favorite and least favorite part of this book was Jessica. She’s an asshole and a half, I hate her as a person but I kind of love her as a character. I love a good mean girl and for me, it made sense that she would be really abrasive as a reaction to the chronic rejection she felt from the community she grew up in. I normally hate reckless/impulsive characters, but I liked that Jessica was able to back up her impulsiveness with being smart and having some sort of survival instinct. On a side note, I also appreciate that all of ahar’s heroines so far are confident, unapologetically hot, and know that they’re hot.

That said, I really wished the narrative called Jessica out on being a menace rather than constantly give her what she wanted without having it cost her anything. I think it would’ve been better if the story showed that Jessica’s whole abrasiveness-rejection thing became its own self-fulfilling prophecy rather than blaming everything on the vampire blood and always justifying Jessica being an asshole to everyone. I also think that it actually doesn’t make sense for her to reject her adoptive mother and treat her so terribly. This was the one person who ever made an effort to get close to her, after all. I think that developing this relationship further would’ve made Anne’s death much more impactful. And generally, while I liked that she was this cool, snarky badass...she lacked nuance and complexity, which ultimately made her less interesting.

I’m not going to call Jessica a Mary Sue, but I do think that she’s overpowered (which, I guess is fine because boys get to have their ridiculously overpowered characters). I don’t like how Jessica never had to give anything up in order to get what she wants. I mean, she loses her adoptive mom, but they weren’t even that close. She had no other ties to the human world, no human friends or anything, so she didn’t really have to give that up, either. There's even a loophole for her to get around the big caveat of needing to fight the change/be changed unwillingly in order to be a strong vampire. Generally, she didn’t have to go through any real character development to become the person she needed to be in order to get her happy ending. It makes for a less satisfying/compelling story. Like, the reason why the ending of ITFOTN was satisfying was because (even though it wasn’t perfectly executed) Risika had to finally give up the last vestiges of humanity that she had been holding onto (the only thing she had left of her brother) in order to win against Aubrey and get her revenge and it actually hurt her to do that.

You know, this gives me a fic idea. I’ll do a separate post on it.

My other favorite part of this book were the references to how it’s been a few years since Aubrey lost against Risika but he’s still not entirely over it. Like, all it took was seeing a somewhat accurate artistic rendering of Risika on the cover of Tiger, Tiger to get him so angry that he had to leave the room. Just one quick taunt about it from Fala and he’s ready to kill her over it.

Speaking of Risika, this book also gave some insight into Aubrey’s involvement with Risika’s story, revealing that Aubrey had been drawn to Risika before Ather had even taken notice of her.

Additionally, I noticed some interesting parallels between Jessica and Risika:

They both have mysteries surrounding their birth mothers

They, as natural-born supernatural beings, grew up in an all-human community

Aubrey was drawn to both of them because they exuded a great strength that mirrored his own and because of that, he played a big role in their respective vampire origin stories

Most importantly, they both slapped Aubrey and lived to tell the tale

I’m not sure if this was intentional on ahar’s part or what I might do with this information, but it feels significant. And I think that it’s pretty significant, too, that Aubrey used Alex as his alias, even though I (and apparently ahar, according to the Nyeusigrube discord) don’t know exactly what that is.

Also, I just thought of this- has Risika read any of Jessica’s books? If she’s read Tiger, Tiger, does this mean she now knows about what happened to her mom?

And to close this out, I spotted a bunch of continuity and factual/logical errors:

In ITFOTN, Risika walked by Jessica’s house and called her ‘Concord’s young writer’ and saying that everything she writes is true. How would Risika know this if Tiger, Tiger was Jessica’s debut novel and was just published at the beginning of DIMV, which takes place a few years after ITFOTN? Also, Jessica doesn’t start writing until after she moved to Ramsa.

Kala’s death via vampire hunter was noted in ITFOTN, which doesn’t make sense because DIMV made it clear that it happened recently and as a result of Jessica’s writing, which hadn’t been published until the beginning of DIMV, which takes place a few years after ITFOTN.

If Ramsa is so full of vampire energy, as Caryn states, then why are the humans not used to it? Why do they reject Jessica because of her vampire energy?

Moira is stated to be ~500 years older than Aubrey, who, according to Word of God was from Sparta (which stopped being a thing around 192 BCE)...only the text says that shortly after she was changed, she ripped out the heart of an Aztec priest. The Aztec empire didn’t exist until the 1400s CE.

But that aside, this was all in all a fun read and it gave me a lot of valuable info that I can use in the fanfic.