#and wade took him under his wing. and then… i think if we’re gonna try and adapt My Canon Lore into this au

[simcardiac-arrested]

I am super curious what would you have for de au canon once/if you come up with what you want for it. No pressure tho, it is your fun au.

Idk. I thought Wade and NWB could be a thing in which case it was probably something that NS was initially okay about but then it really drove him up the wall. He probably wanted to tell NWB but also couldn't bring himself to think about Wade or consider even a possibility of meeting him again. Or alternatively he didn't know, he just knew Wade was dating someone. And was completely blown up when he found out during current timeline.

The question is Wade's parents and how did they react to NWB. Harry ends up in police since it was upward mobility for him and Dora and them encouraged him towards this. I am not sure it would be a same situation here since, idk, I think they would hate NWB since let go.

like i said before wade and nwb arent a thing in the disco elysium au because that’s just not what their dynamic is supposed to be. yes i’m well aware that harry/dora is a romantic relationship but i’m not going to make this au 100% accurate to the game, like i’ve already changed the kim & harry dynamic for ns & nwb (because in the game kim & harry are cool with eachother, meanwhile ns & nwb aren’t) so i’m also changing the whole thing about dora into something less romantic but just as mentally ill if not more👍

[keilemlucent]

mother knows best

(r18+)

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

word count: ~4.6k

keigo’s dick catches up with him in the form of a fat, red strap

warnings: daddy kink, subby hawks, mean reader, lingerie, pegging, dumbification (a wittle), dacryphilia, revenge sex, degradation, keigo’s a cock slut ❤️

...

oh wow so this is actually a wip from all the way back in august!! i got some good inspo, so enjoy some subby hawks goodness loveys <3

You wanted nothing more than fucking ruin Keigo.

He’d been a shit lately, more annoying than usual. Fuck, you’d even say that he had been a downright brat.

It was obviously somewhat endearing, getting bent over countertops, teased through your clothes and getting left wet and wanting as he would just so happily walk away, whistling triumphantly to himself. 

Or, maybe, it was how at the recent Hero’s Gala, Keigo had dragged you into one of the hotel’s lavish bathrooms, meters away from his colleagues and shoved you up against the large dressing mirror, his bulge shoved against your ass, whispering about how he was going to shred your dress from your frame. 

“You just look too good, babe,” Keigo’s hands raked up and down your chest, nearly pulling your breasts from the delicate fabric of your dress. 

You’d pleaded with him, “I get that you’re horny, but this really isn’t the place.”

You still let him fuck your mouth to orgasm.

Twice.

He’d been at least nice enough to help you wipe the smears of the professionally done makeup from your face.

“Sorry,” Keigo spoke with a smile, thumbing away a run of mascara from under your eyes as you sat on the edge of the sink. “You did great though. You were so beautiful for me, angel. So sexy. ”

You frowned, grabbing his hand and pulling it away from your face, meeting his eye with an uncomfortable amount of intensity. 

“Keigo.”

He blinked.

“Yeah?”

You felt his palms begin to sweat in your grip.

You smiled, something eerily dark.

“How do you feel you’ve been lately?”

You watched his throat bob, his keen mind going just where you wanted it to. As much as you loved indulging in Keigo’s insatiable, unstoppable, carnal need to bend your back until it broke, you were also very tired of the attitude he’d gotten from it lately. 

“I think...” Keigo wet his lips, pressing between your spread legs from your perch, “I think I’ve been good.”

“You do?!” You repeated, laughing a bit as you squeezed your thighs around Keigo’s trim waist. You grabbed his cheeks between your thumb and middle finger, forcing his gaze to be on your messy, smeared face. “I didn’t think my ‘good boy’ was such a fucking dumbass.”

A whimper dripped from the back of his throat as you frowned, knowing how quickly being taken down a peg got him hot and bothered.

“You’ve jumped my ass without any regard for circumstances how many times in the last week?” You sneered, digging your nails into baby fat above his jaw. “Did you think about the consequences of your actions, babe?”

Keigo let out a deep breath, “Angel, I—”

You fully grabbed his cheeks and jaw, squeezing his lips puckered, “What did you just call me?”

His eyes went wide, hands tensing on the tops of your thighs.

“If I let you speak, are you going to do so properly?” You relished the frantic nod he tried to give you.

You dropped your hand to the front of his dress shirt, hooking your fingers into the top of his tie, “Speak then.”

“I’m sorry, mommy,” Keigo’s eyes went big and doughy, refusing to look at you. 

“That’s better,” You hummed, playing with the silky fabric. “Here’s what’s gonna happen, okay, sweetheart?”

He forced his gaze up to yours.

“We’re gonna go back out there, smile for the cameras, and then head home and get some good sleep.”

“B-but aren’t you going to p-punish—” Keigo words were gluey and slow, giving you all the more reason to interrupt him, even going so far as to shift to tighten his tie around his neck, perhaps a bit too constricting.

“I will, when the time is right. You just try to be a good boy until then, see you actually can.”

A filthy, but very fun plan was brewing in your head. It just would take some time.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

The opportune time struck a few weeks later. Though Keigo had at first been on some better behavior, he reverted to his typical, bratty self a week after your threat was made.

You were just biding your time, besides, custom orders took some time.

It wasn’t hard to contact Keigo’s PA, requesting his measures for ‘unknown’ purposes. 

What was harder was wading through the hundreds of beautiful designs you could order for him. You spent a good few hours scrolling and fantasizing about what colors and patterns Keigo’s pretty, lithe body would look best in. After beating one out, you made your decision, entered his measurements, and sent the order off. It might’ve been the fervor of hot pleasure you had, but you threw in an extra item or two to your purchase. You were spoiling yourself, really. 

Three weeks later, it arrived, perfect in every way, along with the extra items.

Then, it was just about watching Keigo and waiting to strike.

...

He came in late one night, feathers all but bare, uniform muddled.

As Keigo fell on the bed following his shower, you took note of his downy stubs, bare of most of his usual feathers. You grinned something wicked. 

Tomorrow was the day.

Keigo crawled up to you, immediately pulling your back to his chest, peppering your shoulders with kisses before drifting off. You turned to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, hoping he’d get enough rest to be ready for all you had planned.

...

The next morning, Keigo lumbered out of bed while you were finishing your coffee on the couch, already donned in your business casual attire (with some additions, but he couldn’t see those yet). 

“Hey, angel,” His voice was scratchy with sleep as he plopped down next to you, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “How’d you sleep?”

“I slept super good,” You smiled, returning his sweet gesture. “How about you?”

“Good, very good. I’m just glad I have a day off.” Keigo relaxed into the cushions. He flexed the roughly two-foot-long stubs of crimson feathers, “Gotta grow these back out, and that means I’m relaxing all day.”

You grinned, the pieces of your plan having perfectly fallen into place.

“I’m very glad, sweetheart,” You gave him a fleeting kiss before standing up and heading back to the bedroom. 

Keigo called after you, “Where’re you off to, angel? I wanna give you some love before you gotta leave me.”

“One sec! I just gotta get my shit together for work,” You purred back knowingly. Your purse was already packed and ready. You had other traps to lay.

Flitting into the closet, you rummaged through a small set of drawers to retrieve one of the several packages you received. It was a clean, white box, about half the size of a pillow, wrapped in red ribbon. 

You laid it on the freshly made bed, adjusting some of the satins as you did. 

Keigo beamed at you as you exited to the living room, sauntering up and wrapping his hands around your waist to kiss your forehead. 

He stiffened when he felt the straps beneath your work blouse.

“Angel?” He squeezed your waist. 

You smirked, kissing the corner of his mouth before gently cupping his jaw, “Now, sweetheart, can you be a good boy for me today?”

Keigo, the sweet thing he was, turned to putty in your hands.

He nodded, his bottom lip poking out. 

“Good,” You tightened your grip on his jaw. “You have a lot to make up for, considering what a brat you’ve been lately.”

The way Keigo trembled in your hold, cheeks hot, made your head spin with your ideas for the evening. 

“You didn’t forget, did you?” You walked him back, only stopping when his ass hit the kitchen table. He jumped when he slid just the slightest bit back, forced to sit. 

“F-forget what?” Keigo genuinely couldn’t remember, based off the quirk in his brow.

You clicked your tongue, shifting a knee between his legs, “At the Gala. Use your brain, sweetheart.”

His expression fell with the revelation. 

Your punishments were never easy. Very fun, but god, they were excruciating. 

Watching the expression on Keigo’s face drift as he worked out the context of your actions made you shiver. You were sure he’d be a brat later, but catching him off guard always made him particularly weak to your touch.

“Now, baby, I was nice enough to leave a pretty present for you in our room.” You pinch his plump bottom lip between your fingers, “When I get home, I want you on the bed all dolled up for me, understand?”

He swallowed, nodding against your hold as enthusiastically as he could manage.

“Good.” You released him, kissing the indent that your nails left. “I’ve got to get going, but I love you lots, okay?”

Keigo was comically stunned with a very noticeable bulge in his boxers, “I l-love you too.”

You throw your purse over your shoulders, smug at your ability to turn Keigo into obedient mush. 

As you opened the door to leave, you were gracious enough to shout and remind him, “Oh, and sweetheart? Be a good boy and don’t you dare touch yourself today, or I’ll make tonight far worse for you. Have a good day off, love!”

...

The moment you left the apartment, Keigo let out a tight breath.

Holy fuck.

He really thought he’d get to spend the day relaxing and letting his wings regrow, but as it turned out, you had far better plans for the two of you and Keigo didn’t have the mind to fight it.

Not yet, anyway.

He’d give you shit later. It was fun to push you around, in any context.

When he was sure you were far out the door, he quickly padded to the bedroom, eyeing the box that lay on the duvet.

Slipping onto the sheets, he kneeled and pulled it closer. He rubbed at the ribbon, frowning. 

The two of you had used toys and...  devices plenty of times, tending to each other, just in different ways. But, when Keigo picked up the parcel, it seemed far too light to have any sort of toy in it.

Keigo frowned, slipping off the satin and pulling off the lid.

...

Oh fuck.

Inside, neatly packaged with crisp tissue paper, was a carefully folded set of clothes. Special clothes, notably.

This became abundantly clear as Keigo carefully pulled the mesh and lace out of the box, blood rushing to his half-hard cock. 

It was an incredibly pretty set. Stockings, garters, even a ribbed bodice with lacey cups, all pale pink with gold embroidery and accents. 

It was pretty, but not your size at all.

As he pulled out the last item, a pair of satin and lace panties with extra fabric at the front, he realized that these were undoubtedly for him.

A hot blush sped to his cheeks as he stared down at the pretty mess in front of him. 

Sure, he’d talked about this kink to you in passing, but you’d never mentioned it and he’d never asked you to indulge him in it. 

However, it was quite clear that that was indeed what you were doing, giving him such a beautiful set. 

There was even a small card.

“Keigo, 

Despite the fact that you’ve been nothing but an ungrateful brat lately, 

I’ve been gracious enough to give you a sweet gift.

You’ll have to earn it tonight. 

Be good.

(Y/N) <3”

 Keigo stared down at the garments and the note, already far too hard to be comfortable.

It was hardly going to be a leisurely day off.

...

 You took the opportunity to torture Keigo just a little.

Honestly, you deserved it. With the way he’d been randomly dragging you into bathrooms, alleyways, and dressing rooms to wreck you, it was truly only fair that you got to wreck him. 

So, you started early.

You sent picture after picture to him throughout the day, stepping from your office to tease at your own special garments that hid just under your modest clothing. Keigo probably wouldn’t touch himself, knowing what that would cost him. Fucking with him throughout the day would just make your revenge that much sweeter. 

He was easy to get riled up, it was one of his biggest weaknesses when this dynamic came up. Keigo might’ve had the stamina to go for hours, but he didn’t have the heart or mind not to beg for it.

And god, by the end of reaching your own workday, straps feeling almost too tight and pussy dripping, you were more than ready to fuck Keigo up beyond belief.

 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 “Kei’? I’m home!” You called as you came in the front door, slipping off your shoes and hanging your purse.

“I’m in here,” Keigo’s voice echoed from the bedroom.

Oh.

Perfect.

Your plan, long thought-out, had turned out perfectly. Now, you reaped the reward.

You were going to fucking ruin Keigo.

Destroy him.

If he wasn’t a shaking pile of cum and sweat when you were done with him, you’d just keep going. 

You strode to the bedroom, anticipating the sight before you with bated breath.

And god, did Keigo take yours away.

Like a ‘good boy’, he was just as you ordered him to be. 

He was kind enough to keep the lighting the room low, though he was more than visible and fucking gorgeous.

The lingerie set fit him beautifully, as you expected. The pink satin and lace stretched over his tanned skin so well, showing off the tone of his muscles and the swell of his light curves, as well as his already weeping bulge. 

He sat on his spread knees atop the bed, garters pulling tight over his upper thighs. The panties were maybe a bit small for Keigo’s fat cock, but seeing a bit of him peeking out was never a bad thing.

The bodice of the piece was truly beautiful. It was ribbed, a blushing pink and had small threads of golden stitching accenting the lace work. The cups of the piece were pressed to Keigo’s hardened, pierced nipples, the fabric undoubtedly teasing the skin raw (not that you didn’t plan on getting them such a way yourself.) 

“Oh, baby,” You sigh, a light, genuine smile coming to your face. “You look beautiful.”

Keigo must’ve already been pretty deep in it, ducking his head and biting his lip, “Thank you, mommy.”

You smiled at his usage of the proper title, though none of your irritation or anger faded. It was only a few drops of water on a much hotter burn. 

You walked up to the bed, leaning over the end of it to tilt up his face to yours, “Kei’, what’s your safeword?” 

“Quill,” He leaned into your touch, stubbly cheeks brushing against your palms. 

Nodding to yourself, you stepped back from him. Watching Keigo was like observing a moving piece of fine art, the shadows and highlights of his body crafted by some finer being than you. You were just there to tend to him, use him and bend him in the ways you knew he craved.

You fetched the last two parcels from the closet, setting them onto the nearby dresser. Close by and in-sight, teasing the two of you.

 You turned, directly regarding Keigo. He must have been watching you move about the room, eyes rounded and knees spread just right.

“So, tell me, Kei’,” You hummed approaching the bed while popping the buttons on your work blouse. “Have you been a good boy lately?”

His fingers stiffened over the lace of the stockings, stubs twitching behind him, “I... don’t think so.”

You hummed, fully peeling off your top, “Wow, so someone’s finally got some sense to himself now? Mommy’s proud, but it’s a little too late for that.”

Keigo audibly swallowed now that you were barer to him.

Your set was a leather of some sort, black straps adorning and squeezing your frame and flesh in the best ways, linked by o-rings and pretty buckles. If Keigo was in a different mood, he would have half a mind to tug you close by the ring dangling between the slope of your breasts. 

But he wasn’t, he was mommy’s good, sweet brat, and that meant sitting and shutting up unless he wanted this to be worse for himself.  

You tapped your hip, over the slim zipper to your skirt.

“Unzip.” 

Keigo nodded, too quick and too eager as his shaking hands slid the zipper over the curve of your hip.

You stepped back before Keigo could get too much satisfaction from the action, shimming the skirt down your legs—

And the set you had on top kept going.

Garters and black stockings settled over your thighs, perfectly fitted and perfect for you and your perfect body, Keigo just wanted a taste—

You slapped his hand down onto the bed, holding it there and leaning forward with a sickly syrupy smile, “I thought you said you knew you were being a brat, baby boy? Wouldn’t that mean you know not to push your fucking luck—?” 

You left his hand on the duvet with an order to not move it, to which he complied.

And you slipped back over to the dresser, unfurling your last parcels. 

Rope and a pretty new toy.

He didn’t deserve them, they were for you.

The new harness was perfect, custom made to your size, so it sat perfectly over the curves of your thighs and ass. It looked even better when you attached the curved, thick strap to it.

“Is that—”

“For you?” You finished Keigo’s sentence with a click of your tongue. “Maybe. Maybe I’ll just suck on that cute little cock of yours until you’re fucked dry. Maybe, I would let you near my dick. Or, you learn to be a good boy like you say you are—”

You grabbed his jaw in one hand and squeezed, “And you’ll get mommy’s pretty strap?”

...

To his merit, Keigo really, really was being good. 

Each expression of his was just so, so delicious, and that wasn’t even taking into account the beautiful ways his body arched and writhed below you. 

What would the public think if they knew ‘Hawks’ was fucking mama’s boy who craved nothing more than getting stuffed with thick cock and edged until he was crying sweet, sweet tears?

Who knows! You didn’t, and you didn’t fucking care. 

You’d stuffed Keigo with a cute plug as prep, one with a glittering, yellow gem that just looked so good between his pert little ass cheeks. The new rope was put to use as well. Though, the knots were kept mainly to his arms and wrists. The new lingerie was too pretty to hide. You had tied the intricate knots and binds torturously slowly, as you’d be so kind as to attach a small, vibrating egg to the tip of his dick. 

Though, the first thing you did was lock a cock ring at his base with the promise that he ‘wouldn’t be cumming until he was screaming’. 

You had him under you, tits squished to his ribs. Your thighs slotted on the sides of his braced and squeezing him just enough so he knew not to dare to try and move with your word. 

You smeared lube up and down his angrily red cock, thumbing the head. The slick and pre slipped down and stickied his balls and the roughed-up panties tucked beneath. 

Keigo was a fucking mess for it. Whining and gasping with each breath for little, reverent pleas— ‘more, more, more—’ 

His wrists were tied together, pale pink rope making flushed marks against his heat softened skin. They were secured high on the bed, pulling his body taut and flat against the sheets.

You nipped at one of his pierced nipples, tugging the tender bar with your teeth with little regard for how Keigo squealed again. 

Each sound had you dripping, just as needy and wanting as your sweet, sweet boy, but you’d be damned to let it be as apparent as his wanting.

Keigo was a goddamn sight. 

Blond waves stuck to his forehead and temples, cheeks red and lips bitten to cherry. His mouth hung open, drool spilling from the corner and soaking the pillow you graciously kept under his head. 

(Only because you’d ridden his face for a good while prior, and you were such a nice mommy, you gave him a nice cushion while you let him tongue fuck you to another orgasm.)

“M-mommy,” Keigo’s voice shook. “Please.”

You tsked. 

“Disappointing, sweet boy,” You chastised, lightly. Keigo had already wept hard enough, you didn’t need to push much more before he cracked just as you wanted. “You know to beg better.”

Keigo choked on a sob, something that made his bound, stubby wings shudder and writhe against the sheets.

“But, I-I already have,” Keigo sputtered, tugging on the bindings and breathing hard as you toyed with the ring at the base of his swollen cock. “Please.”

He deserved it, all the teasing and sweet torture, considering what a bastard he’d been in the past week. 

“Needy and you’re talking back?” You rolled your eyes. “So what, you want me to ride your cock? That’s too good for you.”

“‘T-too good for me,’” Keigo repeated, tearfully, stomach shaking with the way he was still trying to holding back.

He just needs to let go. Be the shameless cock slut he is. 

“Guess I’ll just fuck that cute little ass of yours until I’m satisfied.”

Keigo gulped as you helped him onto his tummy, bound hands freed from the headboard to brace below him. His back arched, a practice ‘c’ curve that you made dip deeper with a press to the small of back.

“Do better,” You reminded him, cruelly. He stifled another sob, nodding.

He shrieked as you eased the lubed plug from his ass. You poured a gracious amount over the red strap-on, admiring it. 

It was thick, it’d be a stretch and would press deep enough to knock Keigo out if you so chose.

Good.

As much as Keigo loved fucking you hard and fast, wherever and whenever he pleased, he needed this sometimes. A bit of handful (or so) of mean words, and a thick cock to fuck him full and dumb.

“Baby boy,” You cooed, tapping the toy over his blushing bottom. “You ready? Or should we wait—”

The impatient bastard. 

“No, no, no,” Keigo sputtered against the sheets. “I c-can’t mommy, I can’t—”

“Can’t what, baby?”

“I can’t wait!”

It was the concept of waiting any longer for your fat cock that sent him sobbing into the bedding, hiccuping and writhing. 

Keigo, the sweet thing he was, sagged and fell apart. Breaking good and proper, coherency gone. 

You guided him through it, good and proper. 

Truthfully, Keigo had been put through it. The sudden expectations, having him wait his entire day off, tempted by your skimpy little photos. And when you finally deemed him worthy of you, it was just to tease him and pretty cock for a few hours just to let off some of your own steam was cruel. 

But Keigo had been bad, and loved getting used when you both needed it.

His tears must’ve felt damn good, considering when you reached under his hips (while rubbing tender little circles over his spine) his cock was harder than ever, leaking and wet with need.

He seized beneath you, sputtering little ‘n-no’s and ‘p-please’s mixed with his weeping. He twitched in your hand as you ran the pad of your finger around the ring at its base.

“I could take this off,” You mused, pressing the tip of the strap against his hole. “Or—” 

With a slow grind of your hips, you stretched him wide and trembling. 

Keigo’s cries got louder, deeper and rougher as he clasped his hands in their binds. Bent over his body, you teased his cock with a light hand, humming as you nonchalantly fucked him to the hilt of the strap.

“Now, sweet boy,” You nudge your hips flush to his, just barely shifting “If I take this off, can you come for me? I need you to cum for me as much until you can’t anymore. Can you be a good boy?”

After a moment of sniffling, he nodded, “Yes, m-mommy.”

You flicked the clasp on the ring, discarding it and rolling your hips.

And Keigo instantly came. 

With all of that build-up, he shuddered, wings writhing as his back bent harder as he drenched the sheets beneath the two of you.

“My good boy,” You hummed, petting between his wings as he rode it out. “Keep it up.”

And without relenting, you grabbed his wings for leverage and fucked him.

Maybe, it was a little cruel. 

Your pace was set hard and fast, tugging the feathery stubs and enjoying the feel of his round, downy feathers where you held the base. Your grip was the only thing keeping Keigo as he resisted collapsing.

You were nice enough to occasionally reach down and give Keigo a few quick pumps, just enough so he’d crest again, sticking your hand so well and thick. The cum was smeared onto the fatty round of his ass with a slap or two. 

As much as it was a damn treat to see Keigo so fucked up and fucked, you let up when his orgasms were still hot and harsh, but his cock was nearly dry. It hardly sputtered anything, drained and sticky and overstimulated beyond belief.

“N-no more, no more!” Keigo sputtered as he trembled and convulsed with a dry, painful orgasm, your hand still fisting the sore flesh on his cock. 

You knew him well enough to stop then.

Your hips stilled, breath labored, though nothing like Keigo’s teary, nearly-dry sobs. He slowly fell into the sheets, aching body falling with nothing left to give. 

Everything was slow for a moment. 

You pulled out, graciously slow and tender, mindful of his raw state.

With a few skillful tugs, his wrists were free and unbound. Weak arms and shaking hands grabbed for you, needy as ever, but still, you could indulge him. 

‘Mommy, m-mommy, please,” Keigo tried to tug you down into the soaked sheets as you unbuckled the harness from around your hips. 

You raised an eyebrow, “Still needy?”

Keigo choked on something between a sob and scream, nodding and needing. 

(Completely wrecked, just as you craved and planned. He really was good.)

Your heart softened, the energy in the air diffusing as you freed his wings, coaxing them to stretch out and release any remaining bottled up tension.

And you fell into the bed with him, tugging your sweet boy to your chest and peppering kisses over his salt-slicked cheeks.

“You were wonderful dear, my good, sweet boy,” You layered on the praise, enjoying how his shudders came from your words as opposed to the discarded cock. 

Keigo opened his cracked lips but quickly closed them, settling before nuzzling under your chin and practically purring as he came down.

You always knew that you did your job well when Keigo was fucked silent. 

|||||||||||||||

thank you for reading 💞 

ko-fi

[anxiouslyfred]

Met in the Woods

for @dukexietyweek‘s prompt Pirates/Adventure, I focused on Adventure

Summary: Remus didn’t run away, he just went on a wander through the woods. Virgil got kicked out of their home and took to the woods to try and survive. Somehow meeting was the calmest part despite Virgil attacking Remus.

Warnings: vague fighting, eldritch being mentioned, self-esteem issues, homophodia mention

/\/\

Remus hadn't run away. Really he'd barely even left home, despite packing the largest pack they had full of survival supplies and taking off into the woods one morning before anyone else woke up. There was no point in writing a note, not when he'd definitely be coming home, at some point, probably.

The woods had always called to him, filled with mysteries and adventure if only he had the time to explore and find it, and finally Remus was following the call. He already knew where the first glade was to make a camp in, after that he could follow the river some knights mentioned when reporting their patrols.

He wasn't expecting the glade to already have a tent in it, or for said tents owner to have him flat out within seconds of emerging from the treeline.

“Who sent you after me? I'm not going back, whatever crap they've told you!” The person had a staff poised to strike and with all of Remus's weapons currently under him and tied to his pack he wasn't too inclined to make it an actual fight. Besides, not being recognised as one of the sons of the areas Lord? It was basically a dream Remus never expected to happen given the amount of public appearances he was bribed into.

“Nobody sent me, not a clue who you are. Can I stick my tent over here? Heading to the river at this time of night is just asking for a patrol to catch us.” Remus shrugged, rolling to stand up again only to jump back when the staff was swiped at his legs. What was with them trying to lay him out?

A snarl curled their lips and Remus was fascinated. Most people couldn't get quite so vicious an expression, not even an enraged Roman had managed it yet, although he did get complimented on being fearsome when rampaging. “Like I'm going to believe that! They kicked me out and now expect to get me dragged back, begging for forgiveness or some shit?”

“Woah, I've never managed to get kicked out before. How did you manage that and can I try? Sounds like the best release from responsibilities ever!” Remus leant forwards, although still staying out of the staffs range.

“Writing in a journal about liking how men look. Seriously, people will kick you out for the most dull stuff. Thinking there's dangers in too thin ice, and telling people to sharpen weapons with them directed away from you to avoid self stabbing, oh that's fine. Like watching spiders and write stories without even showing them to anybody about how hot the guy next door is, nope get the hell out.” Remus frowned while listening to the rant. Those motives really did sound incomprehensible, but the persons frustrated movements did sometimes cause their top to tighten and show off muscles or make his cloak move like bats wings over their arms.

It was enough that Remus was moving forwards, bending to catch the staff as it was swung, holding it still. “Seriously? The Lord's of this land are 2 men together. We've got non-binary folks as tax collectors and both of the Lord's sons are attracted more to masculine physics than feminine and your family kicked you out for that?”

“Explains why they do everything possible to keep us kids stuck to the farm, then.” The mumble was clearly not directed at Remus but he shrugged and nodded until they looked back at him. “So if you aren't someone sent to drag me home what the hell are you doing out here?”

“I'm Remus, and just felt like a wander. Male too by the way. Who are you? I've already gathered that you're here cause you got kicked out so won't ask why.” He answered cheerfully. Whomever this person was, they'd been more interesting than most people Remus encountered.

The suspicious glare that had been fading was back a full force. “Virgil. Human, and who the hell just decides to go wandering with a full pack including a tent?”

“I do. Wanted to escape for a while, and now I'm gonna stick with you too.” Remus decided, shrugging off his pack to start setting his own tent up. “All the better if someone actually does come after you, right?”

/VR\

Virgil didn't trust this guy. Who the hell just attaches themselves to a stranger they meet in the woods? There had to be something going on here, or the guy had to be freaking insane and liable to attack in a moment of rage.

“I'm going into that cave! Are you coming?” Remus cheered, pointing further along the river.

There at least was a cave this time, a large excavation into the cliff face that was on the other side of the river. The last 'cave' Remus had tried to explore had just be a darker type of rock that the mad guy had run head first into before realising.

“It's a cave on the edge of a river. You're going to slip on the rocks and kill yourself, or get attacked by a bear taking shelter in it.” Virgil ground out, but carried on following behind Remus getting closer to the cave with each step. “I'm not willing to die for a maniac who won't leave my side.”

Remus just shot a grin over his shoulder as he finally started wading through the water. “Then why are you still following me? Besides it'd be awesome to battle a bear. Maybe I could get some brilliant scars!”

“It's called self preservation, something you seem to have abandoned already. I'm more likely to survive if I have an idiot who runs into danger when predators decide human smells like a good dinner.” Virgil snarked back, pausing to take off their shoes and roll their trousers up before entering the water. They weren't going to have wet feet for hours, no matter how willing Remus was to get his shoes drenched.

They still weren't happy about entering the cave when hours later they were trudging back out a completely different entrance lugging a chest in addition to their packs. “I told you going in there was dangerous!”

“You didn't get hurt, did you? Only blood on either of us is from that, that, actually what the hell was that? We need to go home just so I can get that thing drawn, painted, memorialised for eternity on the walls and given some kind of name.” Remus was twisting to look back at the cave even as he kept moving, holding the other end of the chest.

“Can we figure out what we're doing with whatever the hell is in here? It's heavy and neither of us are going to be ready to fight with a massive chest carried between us.” Virgil dropped their end, effectively bring them to a stop and threw themself on the ground for a rest.

There was still daylight so they weren't worried about a threat approaching unseen and really needed to stop after the fight they'd just gone through. Any creature with that many limbs should be somewhere out at sea, not in caves nowhere near the shore.

“You take it. You're the one who got kicked out from home and nobody would leave something worthless in a cave like that. Bet you could get a house almost as good as the Lord's manor with the treasure in here.” Remus decided, having sat on the ground nearby for only a second before he was  rooting through the pack from his back. “Snacks, pen, ink and paper. You eat something. I gotta start planning out my paintings.”

Virgil was already shaking their head, backing away from the chest as though it would be forced onto them. “No no no no. I'm not taking all of whatever's in there. We got it together. You should get some of it. How about half each? Or you get 3 quarters and I get the rest since I would literally have been killed when that thing first came out?”

“And here I thought I was just a chance for you to escape when I jumped forwards. You were fighting there too. I guess we could go half each.” Remus sighed as though accepting any of it was a hardship rather than treasure won. “Only if you come home with me. Let me introduce my family to the greatest reluctant best friend ever!”

They gaped at that declaration. If anything Virgil would just call them and Remus acquaintances. Sticking together in the middle of woods when no other people has been seen for days could easily turn to barely acknowledging each other once back in town. “If that's what it takes for you to take the treasure that's rightfully yours then fine I guess.” They agreed, already moving stuff about in their pack to find the empty bags they'd managed to grab when hurrying to leave their old home. At the time they'd expected the bags to be for any belongings or tools they could make and acquire while alone in the woods but the contents of a random chest was what they'd need to hold now.

Virgil left Remus to carry on drawing while attempting and after about 20 different tries, managing to unlock and open the chest. They sat separating the treasure by types and into 2 piles of each, kept as even as possible. With the sky clear and dusk not due for a while, it was a relaxing enough break after the cave systems.

/VR\

Looking up at the manor that Remus had just started leading them up to declaring 'Home!' had Virgil reconsidering everything they knew of the place they grew up in.

That was the Lord's manor and for Remus to live here he had to be... nope, NOPE! Virgil had definitely not just accidentally run into one of the sons of the Lord that ruled over his town. Remus must actually just be like, one of the servants, or maybe a gardener? Places like this had gardeners and knights right? Remus must be something like that and had taken some time off too....

All of their rationalisations to prevent panicking about having attacked and then travelled with a Lord's son proved futile when as soon as Remus opened the doors servants were swarming him, asking where the young sir had been, did he have any injuries, and anything else they'd only do for... The son of the Lord's also hurrying through the hall to greet him.

“I went on an adventure!” Remus proclaimed, waving off the servants and turning to look for Virgil who had fully started panicking and wondering if he could turn and run now. “And I made a friend too. That's Virgil and he's brilliant!”

A servant was immediately coming over, offering to take his bag while the Lord's looked him over curiously, listening to Remus who was still talking utter nonsense; a fairytale of a Virgil that they couldn't fathom how Remus thought was them.

“Well anyone who has Remus as besotted as this is more than welcome to remain with us as long as you care to, Virgil. Are there any titles that you hold?” The Lord asked, smiling at them now and holding a hand up to pause Remus's ramblings.

“No, My Lord. I am estranged from my family currently and would not be in line for any titles even if that weren't the case.” They couldn't come out with a rant about being kicked out in front of a Lord, but to deny that they were probably the lowest of his lands would only lead to worse things later.

The Lord just nodded but Remus glowered. “They've got money though. Helped me fight a beast in a cave and we found this massive chest of treasure that can get him a home and stuff now. Seriously, even while claiming they wouldn't risk death for me they followed me into the cave and fought just as much as I did when this brilliant creature attacked. Someone get my paints set up in the gallery across from my room. I know what's going on the far wall now!”

“Money wasn't our concern, Son. I'll check if there's any titles we can bestow on them for bringing you home safely.” The other Lord spoke up now and Virgil was really wishing their parents had at least mentioned the names of the nobility that ruled over them. Maybe they could ask one of the servants soon, since Remus was likely to forget about them now he was back home and around his family.

It definitely seemed possible since with the comment about finding them a title the Lords were heading to other rooms in the hall and Remus was racing down a different corridor while a few servants came to direct Virgil to somewhere else. They just let themself be led through getting measured for new clothes and settled into rooms that had at some point been requested for them. They could at least work on getting a home here before the hospitality of the Lord's ran out preferably.

/RV\

7 days had passed and Remus was confused. Each morning he'd asked Virgil to come and help him paint, or join him in the science lessons he'd insisted on getting. Each time they'd nod and come along but disappear somewhere on route to where he wanted to go.

His best friend kept hiding from him and it didn't feel like a game or even like something they wanted to do if the wary glances each meal were anything to go by. It was like Virgil was expecting him to tell him to leave, gained some hope whenever Remus asked for them to do something together but gave it up seconds later as a lie. Remus wouldn't lie, especially not over wanting someone's company. He just wanted Virgil to be around him.

Today he was going to put a stop to it. He still chattered through breakfast, arguing with Roman over painting styles and trying to get Virgil to agree with him but he didn't move to get up or say anything after his meal was finished. He just sat, waiting for Virgil to finish eating and hoping he hadn't been cutting their meal short with the invitations.

“Do you not want to be my friend?” Remus blurted once they were the only ones still at the table, making Virgil startle.

“What, of course I, no, I do, definitely do but you, I mean, I thought you wouldn't. I'm just a nobody and you have all these exciting things that's you basically bounce in your seat when you talk about.” Virgil tripped over their words, clearly concerned over Remus's question but not sure how to answer it.

Remus just watched them try to reply, concerned but making himself be calm, still. “Then why do you keep disappearing when I want to share them with you? Sharing them would make any activities like a million times better! Hell just arguing with Roman is way more fun when I've got you beside me.”

“But I'm nothing!” Virgil exclaimed, pushing down on the table. “Why would you want anything to do with me except because of pity?”

“Yeah, definitely, I pitied a guy attacking me with a staff and stuck with him because I thought he needed some charity.” Remus rolled his eyes. “Pretty sure you are more than any scoundrel I could find walking into town just because you don't give a shit who we are, if you think something's dangerous or harmful you're gonna yell about it.”

“And you don't give a damn and do it anyway, claiming there's nothing dangerous that could harm you!” Their response was a glare that just made Remus grin.

He'd missed being told off while Virgil was constantly hiding themself away. “Still take more care than I would without the reminder. Besides I love that, always needed someone to give reasons for why they're upset and you just give them.”

“Love? Besotted? Why is everyone talking like we should be courting now? I don't even have somewhere to live. Get them to stop playing with my heart like that.” Virgil moaned, apparently focused on a word Remus had barely realised he'd spoken. Watching them lean on the desk it was clear there had been more said by the servants too in the last week.

He shrugged leaning back in his seat. “They aren't. If you'd actually let me find you or come to help with my painting this week you might have realised that I am very likely to fall in love with you.” He held back from saying it had already happened while coming back from the cave. It seemed like it would be too much for them, no matter that the painting in his gallery had basically made Virgil his universe, cradled and treasured by the creature they'd battled rather than fighting it.

Lost eyes looked over to him as they processed the words. “So we can be together together? I'm not – not going to get kicked out again for liking you too much?”

“Nope, I mean I made sure our rooms are next to each other deliberately so we could go through the courting without being too far apart.” Remus pointed out. “On that thought, can I actually give you your courting gifts now? I keep trying to but you disappear before I've got them out.”

Virgil nodded mutely for a second, watching him, before leaning forwards for a kiss, barely more than a peck before they were pushing away trying to get more distance between them. “Sorry, should've asked, but um, yes, courting, we can do that!”

“You don't have to ask if you want to kiss me, but if it makes you feel better we can do constantly asking.” Remus couldn't hold back his grin, and knew it was the one servants backed away, concerned over what his manic joy would cause today.

Courting first, and convincing Virgil they were far more than their mind said over time.

[zeninw]

drabble abt working w jean as a lifeguard bc i'm one and i feel super socially awkward with my staff sometimes.

cw: sfw, not proofread, mentions of social anxiety, friends to lovers kinda, cliches, a hint of suggestiveness

wc: 1.7k

The wings you had ordered were no where near as good as you hoped they would be— and neither was the night out.

You wanted to have fun with your coworkers, even though most of the time you preferred to be along, but the night had dragged out far beyond your means.

The bar had gotten too loud, and your social battery had died an hour ago. You checked out from the group, pretending to be absorbed in your phone at the end of the table.

You couldn't leave, you had gotten a ride from a freind here, but all you wanted was to go home. The check was taking forever, people were screaming at some soccer game on the TV overhead, or in some conversation that didn't include you.

You felt so out of place, a feeling you dreaded and generally tried to avoid. Years of trying to make yourself more palatable to others, anxious about going out in social settings aside from your few best friends.

Out of excuses as to why you were 'so quiet' you ducked out to the bathroom, locking the door behind you and sitting on the counter.

It was a good half hour of you scrolling through instagram or whatever you could do to distract yourself before someone knocked on the door.

You sighed, realizing someone would have to use the bathroom eventually.

"One second," you called, hopping up and tucking your phone in your pocket.

You opened your door to find one of your male coworkers, and had to remind yourself that the singular bathroom was co-ed.

"Hey," Jean said, looking down at you. You expected him to step back so you could leave and he could enter, but he stayed stagnant, standing in your way. "You've been gone for a while, eat some bad food or something?" he asked.

You shook your head no. "I'm just tired. Waiting for my ride to be ready."

"I'm about to head out, if you wanna ride with me," he suggested, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder.

"Oh, I don't want you to have to go out of your way..." you trailed off, not wanting to be a hassle.

"It's no problem, really. I'm pretty sure we both live in Ocean Pines," he said, referring to your apartment complex.

"Okay," you agreed. "Thank you."

"No problem," he nodded, then turned on his heels. "I'm gonna tell Sash we're leaving, i'll meet you by the door."

You nodded, following him out of the narrow hallway that lead to the bathroom back out into the crowded resteraunt.

He nodded at you after talking to Sasha, then you followed him out. The air was a little cool, wet with humidity and a few clouds rolling in as you stepped outside.

He made you feel comfortable on the ride home, and waving goodbye as he took the elevator up one floor above yours.

He became someone you found it easy to gravitate towards, and calmed some of your nerves whenever you went out.

Jean was a gentle giant, and despite his size, he was never intimidating or overwhelming.

He sat with you the next friday night, like he had for the last three, at the bar. You tugged on the strap of your tank top, it was a summer job you were working  together, shifting uncomfortably in your seat.

"Are you old enough to be drinking that?" you said, referring to the alcohol in his hand.

"Nope, but when you're pretty and hang out with the managers, you don't get carded." You rolled your eyes. He wasn't wrong, but still. "I heard you had a save today," Jean said, taking a sip of his drink. The beer made his breath smell bready, leaving a bit of fizz on the top of his lip.

"Yeah," you said, reaching a hand out to his face. You wiped the residue off his cupid's bow with your thumb before leaning back. "A kid came off the slide and didn't really know how to swim."

"Your first one?" Jean asked.

"No, third," you answered, stealing a few fries from his basket. "One spinal from someone who decided to go off headfirst, one in the wave pool," you explained.

"You're lacking," Jean shook his head.

"Yeah, well, you've been working at the park a year longer than I have," you answered, taking more. He slid the basket over to you, leaning on the bar.

"Have you ever gone after hours?"

"Like... night swimming?"

"Yeah. I have a key, if you wanna go."

"Are you auditing me or something?"

"No— I'm serious. We won't get in any trouble." You looked around. "Look," he said, placing his hand on your shoulder. "All the other managers are here, drunk off their ass, and there are no cameras at the park."

You looked over to them, they were all sitting around a table red-faced and laughing, even levi and miche.

"Okay," you shrugged. "Why not."

The drive was about 5 minutes, and it was odd seeing the empty water park. No lights, no people, and Jean had to step into the office to turn all the slides on.

He climbed into the stand as you eased into the water, jumping off of it and in. He ran his hand through his hair as he came up, watching you tiptoe through the water.

"You're not gonna go under?" Jean asked, wading in the deep end of the pool.

"It's cold!" you yelled across the water, ducking under a rope barrier.

The two of you met in the middle where he could stand and you couldn't. You held onto his shoulders to keep yourself afloat, and it put you two closer than you would've expected.

His hands wrapped around your waist, and before you could protest, he dunked you underwater, getting your head wet.

"There," he said, picking you back up. You laughed, hitting him on the shoulder.

"Fuck you," you smiled.

"Wouldn't you like that," he teased, making you hit him again. The two of you stayed there for a moment, holding each other, before you pulled away.

"Let's ride something," you suggested. "Malibu pipeline is a two seater."

Jean agreed, following you to the stairs. The park was pretty big, and the black slide was nearly on the other side.

"This is why I hate working here sometimes," Jean sighed.

"What, the walking?"

"The stairs, specifically," he said, jogging up the wooden ones with you.

"I think it's worth it," you shrugged. "I've seen kids ride this over and over and they never seem to get tired from the climb."

"When I was twelve, maybe I could've," he said, reaching the top of the platform. The water was already running, and you put the tube down, sitting in the front. Jean got in behind you, wrapping his hands around your waist. "Ready?"

"Yep," you responded, and he pushed the two of you down.

It was a shorter ride than you remembered as a kid. "That was kinda underwhelming," you frowned, hopping out of the tube. "Also this swimsuit is so uncomfortable. I wish they would invest in better uniforms."

"Take it up with Erwin," Jean said,  making his way to the stairs with you. "But I think it looks great on you."

"Thank you," you replied. "You too."

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you as you walked to the lazy river, grabbing a few tubes and getting in.

"This is nice," you sighed, leaning back as the water carried the two of you around. "It's quiet," you said, holding onto Jeans tube so the two of you could float together.

"It's my favorite place to come after close," he sighed. "Silence, besides the sound of the water," he nodded. You closed your eyes, listening to it.

You had no idea how many laps you had taken around by the time you opened your eyes, but it was at least 3.

"Are you—" you looked over to see that Jean wasn't there. "Jean?" you called looking around. You sat up on the tube from your laying position, looking around.  "Jean?" you called again.

It was silent for a few moments, before he jumped in the water, splashing you. It knocked you off your tube, and you could hear him laughing before you even came up from the water.

"Jesus, you scared me," you said, kicking him under the water. He just kept laughing and you swung at him, hitting his chest. "Ow," you said, shaking your hand out. Jean caught your wrist as you retracted it, pulling you closer to him.

"That hurt?" he smiled, tilting his head to the side.

"No," you lied, trying to pull your arm away from him, but he only tugged you closer. You tried with your left, but he caught that one too, holding both of your wrists in one hand.

"Aw, that's cute." You were at a loss for words, lips parting but nothing coming out.

"Is it?" you managed.

"Yeah," Jean said, using his other hand to pick you up by the back of your thighs.

You let him wrap your legs around his waist, exhaling as he did it. He leaned down towards you, eyes searching your face. He kissed you, just for a second, before pulling away.

“Jean—“

"Sorry," he said, pulling back but not letting go of you.

"Don't be," you said, resting your hands on his shoulders.

"I should be," he said. "Liking your coworker is— never a good idea."

"And you know this how"

"I don't know," he sighed, looking away from you. There was a crack of thunder. "Uh, we should get out," he said, putting you down on your feet.

"Yeah," you agreed, pushing yourself up on the wall.

There was silence on your walk back to the front of the park and Jeans car, and by the time you had pulled all your clothes back on, it had started to rain heavily.

"Jean," you said as you got in the car, escaping the rain."

"Yeah?" he responded. 

"For the record, I think it's worth it," you said, eyes flitting over his face before you pulled his to yours. Your lips met gently, and you could feel him smile against you as you pulled away.

"Me too."

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 5 - The Stratosphere

Summary: Sunset Curve Alive AU, Willex, where will they go?, 2.7k

@trevor-wilson-covington​ is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

“So, I was thinking,” Luke was saying to Julie once everyone was back in the green room, chatting lightly as they packed up their gear. “Maybe I could visit your mom in the hospital and play some songs for her. Cheer her up, you know?”

Julie looked so touched. Willie still didn’t know their whole story, but they seemed like a good fit. He had offered to help Alex load up his drums, but apparently there were people paid to do that here. Alex was just supervising it because he wanted to make sure they were handled right. It was a pity this place was full of techs and ushers and security because it was so tempting for Willie to try a few tricks on his board in there.

He’d finally gotten a proper introduction to everyone, and it turned out that all of Alex’s friends were great. The guys were all super chill, and he couldn’t thank Julie and Flynn enough for letting him be there to begin with. They seemed almost like a family. If he didn’t think about it too long, then he could ignore how badly he wanted to stay around all of them for as long as he could. Willie couldn’t remember anywhere that had felt so warm and open. He ran his fingers over the new bandage that he’d gotten on his hand.

Alex sat beside him, gear all stashed away.

“So, what’s your plan?” he asked.

“It’s a surprise,” Willie teased. “But it’s close.”

Alex looked around the room and then back at him with wonder in his eyes, raising the corners of his lips.

“Just the two of us though,” Willie added.

“Of course,” Alex nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Hey, guys,” Luke spoke to the entire room. Flynn, Reggie, and Bobby stopped the silly hand clapping game they were in the middle of and all turned their heads to face him.

“Julie and I just came up with a super cool plan,” Luke continued. Julie stood with him, and Luke immediately stood back to let her speak.

“I told you guys that my mom’s cancer is back. She’s given a lot to me, and I don’t think I could ever give back everything. But it would be really neat if we all gave her a private mini concert.”

Cheers went around the room, making Julie beam with happiness.

“I know it’s short notice,” she went on. “But I want to try to do it once we’re all back in California.”

“But what about your shows in the next couple of days?” Flynn questioned.

“I’m gonna see if I can reschedule them. I know it isn’t an ideal thing to do but with my mom’s condition, I’ve gotta do what I can.”

Willie sat quietly. He would’ve been happy to be involved, but was too aware that he was staying here in Vegas. That same feeling of wrongness crept along his skin, making him fold his arms and rub his thumb where it rested. He wasn’t sure when he’d picked up the habit, but he was doing it a lot more often recently.

“Uh…” he started. “I’m gonna catch up with you guys later, if that's okay.” He glanced over at Willie in a subtle but giddy manner.

The group finished discussing plans about getting together for a quick practice and what kind of songs they would do for Julie’s mom. When Willie suggested Yellow Submarine, Alex advocated for it as well, and he was happy to have made at least some contribution to their ideas. Once all that was put together, everyone got ready to go their separate ways. All the guys shuffled toward their van and Alex hung behind for a moment.

The guys all looked mildly surprised, but ultimately shrugged.

“Catch you later, Alex,” Luke said, giving him a wink. Reggie was singing Yellow Submarine under his breath as they drove away, to which Willie giggled quietly.

“You ready?” he turned to Alex, noticing his hands were free from clutching the strap of his fanny pack this time.

“I guess I am,” Alex said, smiling through his nerves.

Willie took his hand tightly and carried his board with the other. Alex's smile only grew wider as they hurried out to the street. The goofy jerking between their hands only made them squeeze harder to keep contact. He could hear the delighted chuckle being released behind him as he guided Alex across the city. He felt his lungs let forth a youthful yell from his throat, and he felt like Peter Pan crowing as he flew through the stars.

People darted out of their way as they rushed onward. Willie eventually saw his target, the Stratosphere, and didn't even bother pausing before he pulled Alex through the entrance. The elevator was just being emptied and before anyone could stop them, he tugged Alex inside and pressed the buttons to get them to the highest floor. The doors shut and they felt the jolt of being lifted from the ground pull them downward.

"Aren't we supposed to pay for tickets?" Alex panted, laughing between breaths.

Willie, also doubled over in laughter, just shook his head.

"Capitalism sucks, man! Don't buy into it!"

Alex only wheezed, leaning into the wall for support. Eventually, they both sat on the floor and after a few more bouts of laughter were able to calm down and breathe normally.

"When you said you had your ways I didn't know you literally meant you could just walk in anywhere," Alex thought aloud.

"The concert was luck," Willie smiled. "Here, it's just practice."

Alex shook his head incredulously. They both sighed, feeling that strange tension that had been there back in the diner, except Willie felt it in his fingertips. He eyed Alex’s hand lying inches away, and imagined himself reaching through and lacing their fingers together.

"How's that relaxing going, by the way?" he wondered.

"Hard to tell with you around," Alex stated, sarcasm not to be missed.

"I'll take the compliment."

Their long ride inside the elevator was near the end, and they stood up as the numbers got closer. Willie felt Alex's pinkie reach for his and he was happily surprised at the feeling of skin twining with skin. It was like they didn’t have to say anything - they just felt the same things. The door opened to the fresh evening breeze and revealed the wonderful sight before them.

"Whoa," Alex breathed, immediately drawn to the view on the observation deck. The lights from below sparkled in his eyes and Willie followed as they came right up to the railing. Both of them sat in awed silence, watching everything blink and glitter beneath them. The mountains in the distance bordered everything in a gentle, majestic manner. Willie had been up here so many times and somehow never noticed the odd sense of being folded in angels' wings before.

“I’ve been an idiot,” Alex started saying. Willie turned his head in confusion. Their hands slipped apart as Alex began gesturing to emphasize his words. “I’ve been thinking all day about how everything goes wrong and expecting everything to go wrong. I haven’t been enjoying anything nearly as much as I should be right now.”

Willie didn’t reply just yet. He just looked at Alex, watching how tense he was still, almost as if he could see the lion in the cage inside his head. All he wanted was to set it free. He looked around, and while there were a couple people on the other side of the observation deck, they seemed likely to just take pictures and then head back down.

“You know what I love about being up here besides the view?” he asked Alex.

“What?”

Willie gripped the railing as hard as he could, took in a deep breath, and screamed out into the darkness. Alex looked around nervously, but only watched the other people on the deck make their way back to the elevator.

“You gotta try it,” Willie urged.

Alex braced himself against the barrier and gave a nice little yelp.

“Oh, are you a puppy up for adoption?” Willie joked, tugging on Alex’s jacket. “Your whole body needs to let go.”

Alex looked back at him with an intense focus, and then turned back to the railing. Filling his lungs to the brim, he yelled viciously over the top of it. Willie joined him and they both staggered between screaming and taking moments to breathe. Something about it said words beyond what they had spoken. Willie heard a unique sort of agony as Alex belted everything to the night. He wondered if his pain came through as well.

Alex finally sighed as he finished his last shout and then looked up at the sky and closed his eyes.

“I did enjoy that,” he said. “Thank you.” He dropped his posture and Willie smiled at seeing him finally loosen up.

“Didn’t know you had so much pent up rage,” he commented.

“I guess I didn’t either,” Alex said, chuckling darkly. He sat on the ground and looked up at Willie to follow suit. Taking a seat across from him, Willie eyed him curiously.

“Now what?” he asked.

“Staring contest,” Alex said plainly.

Unfortunately, Willie blinked immediately. Probably ten times in succession, actually. This time, Alex got to laugh.

“Okay, not an actual staring contest,” he said. “ But I’ve tried this with all the guys in the band. We look into each other’s eyes for a few minutes, no speaking, and we just....know each other better. Bobby’s the one who started it.”

Willie only nodded as they got into comfortable positions before locking eyes. He tried to silence any impulses for his mind to focus on anything else and channeled everything into looking at Alex. Even in the dim light, he picked up the green color staring back at him. The stillness outside rivaled the storm within them.

Slowly, the storm softened into waves of caring kindness. They were powerful, but low, as if Willie were wading in shallow water and letting them crash over him. Each wake broke upon him in just the way he wanted to collide with them. This wasn’t a tide where he would get lost in the danger of the deep. The current was pushing him back to the shore, toward safe ground. 

The image in his mind suddenly morphed, and he was transported from calming waves to a rickety road. Fields passed by as he found himself looking out a window. His vision steered to his left, and an older man with a jovial smile sat at the wheel, turning to him as if they’d been passing jokes between them. The man’s familiar laugh echoed in his head.

 Absent-mindedly, Willie grabbed Alex’s hand. Pulled out of his trance, Alex looked at him with concern.

“I just remembered something,” Willie said, sounding like he’d received divine communication. It almost felt like he had. That image was supposed to be locked away, he’d been told. Never to be known again.

“What, like you left the stove on or something?” Alex asked in confusion.

Willie shook his head seriously. His hand was still squeezing Alex’s but he couldn’t get it to loosen its grip. It wasn’t because the memory had scared him, but fear was present anyway.

“No.” His eyes had trouble focusing on Alex’s face, now. “I think I remembered my dad. Like we were driving together. I remembered him.”

Alex dipped his head lower as he tried to figure out what Willie meant.

Willie bit his lip and looked at him apprehensively. This wasn’t the intended topic of discussion tonight. It wasn’t a subject he was usually allowed to speak of to begin with. He opened his mouth and clamped it shut, and then opened it again.

“I have retrograde amnesia,” he confessed.

Alex’s jaw slacked and hung open for a minute. Willie wasn’t sure how long he could handle this gorgeous boy blinking at him in disbelief before Alex closed it again.

“Oh my god, Willie,” he started, still sounding unsure but remaining gentle.

“I’m sorry, that’s sort of a really big thing to just drop on somebody,” Willie started.

“No, no, you don’t need to be sorry,” Alex soothed. “But, oh my god, you just remembered something.”

Willie ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath.

“Yeah… I did,” he said, just realizing the significance of that himself. His past wasn’t entirely under lock and key. That...brought a lot of emotions with it.

“Wait, so how long have you been like this?” Alex asked.

“About a year and a half,” Willie told him solemnly. “Caleb told me I was hit by a car when I was out skating. I even have a scar.” He lifted his hair and turned his head so Alex could get a look. Alex grimaced and shook his head, clearly not liking the visual he’d received in his mind.

“You’re lucky you’re not dead,” he said.

“Yeah, Caleb said that too.”

“Wait, who’s Caleb?” Alex blurted.

“Oh,” Willie looked downcast. “He’s my legal guardian. And my boss. You saw him this morning, remember?”

“That’s your legal guardian?” Alex said, sounding slightly upset. “Guy gave me the creeps.”

“That’s fair,” Alex said, sounding a little unconvinced of his own statement. He sat quietly for a minute. Willie studied him, worried about how he would respond next. Any fun had been sucked out of the air due to his own personal business.

“Yeah, well,” Willie shrugged. “He does that. But, what can I do, you know?”

“So, for the past year and a half,” Alex started. “You’ve had nobody except your boss?”

Wow, that hit him right in between the eyes. Willie hadn’t actually considered that before. He blinked momentarily and then looked directly into Alex’s eyes as pain slowly took over. Then hot tears welled up, causing him to look away.

“I guess not,” he said quietly, his voice already trembling. Before he could huddle into a little ball, Alex’s arms were around him, pressing his head to his chest. Heaving a sigh, he let the tears fall as quietly as he dared to be. His hand crept up to hold onto Alex’s shoulder and gripped tightly. A funny weight was felt on the top of his head, and he realized Alex was running his fingers through his hair. It was so soothing, so...sweet. Willie didn’t realize that was something he missed from his many forgotten memories.

Soon, he straightened up and wiped his eyes.

“Thank you,” he said to Alex, knowing he couldn’t possibly convey how grateful he truly was.

“Of course,” Alex assured him, still gazing upon him tenderly.

“I guess I killed the mood, huh?” Willie attempted to joke. Alex simply smirked and shook his head.

“For what it’s worth, I was totally lost in your eyes, so I needed to come back to reality.”

Willie couldn’t help but smile, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“That was for free,” he said, already getting back into step with his sense of humor. “I charge everyone else.”

Alex quietly entered the hotel and slipped into the door of their room. The guys had thankfully left it ajar so he wouldn’t be locked out. Luke was already lightly snoring on the couch, and he saw that Reggie and Bobby had both taken the larger bed. Carefully pulling his fanny pack over his head and setting it on the side table, he kicked off his shoes.

“Hey, Alex,” he heard Reggie whispering. Dammit. “How’d it go?”

The entire night replayed on fast forward in his mind, and he couldn’t get over the beauty of it all. The weight of it all.

“It was good, Reg,” he whispered back. He quickly changed and climbed into the bed that came down from the wall. Too many thoughts and feelings swirled in his mind like a cajun soup. Willie was amazing. There was nothing else to it except smaller details that attested to the same fact. Today had been all he would have of him, though. His mind paused on that thought as silence filled his ears.

“Did you kiss him?” Reggie whispered out of the blue in curiosity.

“Hey, bigger spoon,” Bobby mumbled groggily. “Be quiet.”

Alex didn’t answer, but smiled quietly to himself. He should have kissed him.

[aww-writing-no]

For @winterhawkbingo Round 3, Square G1: Eddie Brock

Ao3 Link

Changement de pieds:

They were halfway through the Act III of Spiderman and final act of the performance when Eddie came spinning offstage and grabbed Clint’s arm as he went past. Clint held up his hand for a high five, but Eddie just sagged against him, sucking in deep gulps of air.

“You okay there?” Clint whispered, giving him a concerned look. “You don’t look great.”

It was hard to tell under all the stage makeup, but Eddie was looking paler than usual. Clint pressed a hand to Eddie’s forehead, realizing how useless that was after the fact. Of course he would be hot and sweaty after the performance he just gave.

Eddie looked up at Clint, desperation in his eyes. “I’m so fucking dizzy,” he whispered.

Clint raised his eyebrows in concern. Dancers got desensitized to getting dizzy while spinning at a young age, so if it was enough for Eddie to be mentioning during a performance it must be really bad. He glanced across the stage where Bucky, as Spiderman, had called up his army of spiders. The chorus was doing a bunch of chasés across the stage and Clint looked around to see if he could spot a stage manager.

“Can you keep going?” Clint asked, making sure to keep his voice low.

Eddie closed his eyes and leaned over further. Clint could feel him start to shake as he clutched Clint’s arm for support.

“I have to, right?” Eddie said, putting more pressure on Clint’s arm.

Clint continued to look around for a stage manager. Eddie looked like he was either going to puke or pass out, and he didn’t think it would be a great idea for either of those things to happen onstage.

It was almost time for Clint to stumble across the stage in a comedic moment to join the rest of the chorus of spiders, but he still couldn’t see any of the stage managers. It looked like something was really wrong with Eddie and Clint panicked.

“Give me your costume,” he demanded, ripping off his wig and running his fingers through his hair to flatten it out the best he could. They were just going to have to have a blond Venom in the second half of the act tonight because Clint was barely going to have time to put on Eddie’s costume, much less his wig. He started rapidly unlacing his tutu as Eddie unzipped his unitard with shaking hands.

Venom was also going to be in pointe shoes, Clint realized as he yanked the unitard on over his tights. He had about eight more measures before Eddie was supposed to be onstage, and he was just praying he remembered all the choreography from when he was doing that extra practice with Bucky.

“What is going on here?!” a stage manager hissed, finally appearing in the wings. Clint didn’t have time to answer her before he leapt on stage, but he heard Eddie throwing up and figured that should be enough of an answer.

Bucky’s look of shock as Clint appeared on stage was more realistic than artistic. “The fuck?” he mouthed when he was facing upstage away from the audience.

Clint gave him a tiny shrug before going into a fouetté jeté.

He lunged at Bucky, and Bucky jumped back, bringing his arms up to mimic shooting webs at him. Clint danced back, weaving as he went.

They repeated this a couple of times before Clint backed into the waiting arms of two of the other dancers. They lifted him up, and he beat his legs in the air. They lowered him down enough for him to kick off the floor and toss his legs backwards over his head. Thank goodness Wade and Junjie were there to guide his jump, because he’d forgotten about the pointe shoes and almost lost his footing on the landing.

Clint flung his arms back and the two spiders released their grips. He raised his arms and stalked towards Bucky, getting ready for the big finale. Bucky continued to mime shooting webs at Clint, who grabbed Bucky’s right wrist on one beat, then his left wrist on the next. Bucky twisted his hands to grip Clint and swung himself between Clint’s outstretched legs. Clint pulled Bucky back through, using the momentum to lift him in the air. As he came down from the lift, Bucky wrapped his legs around Clint’s waist and they dropped hands so Bucky could do a backbend. Clint held his waist and guided Bucky into a handstand.

From there Bucky flipped upright, facing Clint and raised his arms, flicking his hands towards Clint. The chorus surged to surround Clint, holding hands as they did a series of pas de chat in a tight circle around him. It wouldn’t have been so tight, Clint thought wryly, if he’d been in their number like he was supposed to.

As they formed a dome with their arms over their heads, Clint dropped to one knee. Their arms pulsed in time to the music, and Clint curled up on the ground, face pressed into his knees and arms wrapped around his legs. The music swelled and the circle of dancers opened to reveal Clint, who stayed curled in the fetal position. He hugged himself tightly as two of the spiders dragged him off stage before running back for their victory dance. It would be uneven without him, and he briefly considered putting his tutu back on to join them for a very late entrance before he looked up to see a pair of angry stage managers standing over him.

“What was that?” one of them whisper-shouted, shaking Clint’s abandoned wig in one hand.

“Eddie looked like he was dying and I couldn’t find either of you,” Clint explained as he got to his feet. “Is he okay?”

“He’s on his way to the hospital,” the other stage manager grudgingly admitted.

“That was still incredibly stupid and dangerous!” the first one continued to whisper-shout and shake his wig.

“Uh huh,” Clint said, raising an eyebrow. “Can I get my wig back?” he asked, holding out his hand so the stage manager would stop abusing his poor wig.

He handed it back to Clint, asking, “Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, but I’m not seeing what other options I had,” Clint explained. “It was either switch places with Eddie or go on with the chorus and have Eddie try to push through and throw up or collapse on stage. I think I picked the better option.”

“You’re not even the Venom understudy!” he said, glaring at Clint. “You or Bucky could have been seriously hurt!”

“The Venom understudy is Marcello, who was already onstage,” Clint protested. “Neither of you was here to tell me what to do, so again, I’m not seeing what other options I had.”

The stage manager was prevented from answering by the flood of chorus members streaming off stage. They were greeted by a bevy of quiet “what the fuck”, “what happened”, and “where’s Eddie”.

Before anyone could answer them, the chorus was running back onstage for their bows. Clint watched them go before turning back to the stage managers with a raised eyebrow.

The calmer of the two rolled her eyes and said, “go ahead,” with a deep sigh.

Clint shoved his bedraggled wig back on his head, and ran out for Venom’s bow after the audience slowed their clapping for Steve’s Mary Jane. The crowd roared as he came out, taking a deep bow before stepping back to hold hands with Junjie on his right.

Bucky waited a few beats after the applause died down before slowly walking out to take his bows. After he stepped back to join the rest of the company, he gestured down to the orchestra pit, up to the crew, and then took hands with Steve and Clint to lead the bows as a company.

The second after the curtain dropped, Clint found himself surrounded by Trocks demanding to know where Eddie was (Steve), why he’d taken over as Venom (Marcello), and was he trying to give him a heart attack on stage (Bucky).

Clint threw up his hands in a futile effort to stop the torrent of questions. “I don’t know what happened with him, he’s on his way to the hospital, and I didn’t know what else to do,” he blurted out.

“The hospital?”

“Is he hurt?”

“What happened?”

“Did you shank him?”

“Which hospital?”

“Are you sure you didn’t shank him?”

Clint put his head in his hands as the questions continued. “I don’t know guys,” he told them again. “I saw him for like two minutes and he said he was dizzy and looked like he was gonna pass out or puke, so I made him give me his costume so we could finish the show. I definitely didn’t shank him, what the hell Wade?”

The buzz of questions continued as the company trooped down to the dressing room. Most of them had just finished changing out of their costumes and washing off their makeup when the artistic director stepped into the room. The room slowly went silent as they all turned to look at her.

“As I’m sure you all know by now, Eddie had to be taken to the hospital after being unable to finish his performance as Venom tonight. He wanted everyone to know he’s going to be fine, but is being admitted for an emergency appendectomy. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it if you all keep him in your thoughts during his recovery.”

The room burst out in a heated chatter at her announcement, but Clint whipped out his phone instead of joining in.

“Dude, did your appendix burst onstage???” he texted Eddie.

The text notification popped up a few minutes later.

“No but it was close/ Thx for going on/ Everyone ok?”

“NP, we’re fine, but HOLY SHIT MAN/ glad you’re gonna be okay”

Bucky walked over and peered over Clint’s shoulder. “Is that Eddie?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Clint said, tipping his head back to knock gently into Bucky’s.

“What the fuck?” Bucky exclaimed. It took Clint a second to realize he was reading the latest text from Eddie, not commenting about the head bump.

“Yea, after emergency surgery and a bunch of antiparasitics to kill off the tapeworm that was blocking my appendix” he’d written.

Clint squawked before texting, “THE TAPEWORM!??!?!?!” and a bunch of scream emojis.

Eddie replied with four sweat-smile emojis before writing, “guess I ate some undercooked meat” with a shrug emoji. “guess that’s why I was feeling shitty and losing weight too”.

“Oh my god,” Bucky groaned, beating his head against Clint’s shoulder.

Clint turned to face Bucky, who was looking absolutely miserable. “Hey, what’s with that face?” he asked. “Don’t tell me you’re having tapeworm appendicitis too.”

Bucky shook his head. “No, it’s just… he was my partner for how long and I didn’t see this? Was I that self-absorbed that I didn’t notice my dance partner’s declining health? The whole reason I kept doing all those extra practices with you was because Eddie kept saying he was too tired for the extra practices.”

Clint laid his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Hey, we’re professional dancers. We hide everything under a thick layer of pancake makeup and a smile, you know that. Besides, if we hadn’t done all those practices together I probably would have dropped you on your head tonight.”

Bucky gave him a wry smile. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. You probably wouldn’t have dropped me on my head, though.”

“Well, not by accident at least,” Clint joked, sticking his tongue out. “Hey, you wanna come with me to buy Eddie a get well basket and fill it with gummy worms?”

[clumsyclifford]

bella! I don't know if you're taking requests/prompts? but if you ever feel like writing anything based on just friends by saint morgan, that'd be cool? xD (whichever ship you think it fits, but it reminds me of that cake fic you wrote based on "silent confessions at the foot of your bed") anyway yeah that's all

shal !! it took me two months but i finally got around to writing this. since you mentioned g&c cake i made it cake, and yes i did loop the song the entire time i was writing it (29 times!). also i have to say, EXCELLENT taste. listening to that song 29 times really made me love it. also i recommend listening to it while reading for optimal experience. anyway i hope i did it justice <3

- 

They go to the river.

River is a generous word for what’s really a racing stream, but the ambience is nice. It’s a warm Tuesday in December, and Calum’s restless for adventure. Luke can tell — somehow Luke can always tell; Calum doesn’t think he’s an open book but Luke only needs to give him a critical once-over before he’s got Calum figured out — so Luke suggests they go to the river, and Calum eagerly agrees.

Neither of them bothers to put on better clothes for swimming. They’re not really planning to swim, though it might happen anyway. It’s just nice to be outside on a gorgeous day like this. And Calum will take any and all opportunities to spend time with Luke.

“Dare you to go in,” he says as they approach the bank. Luke laughs.

“Darers go first.”

“Fine.” There’s no way Calum’s getting in; it’s warm but not that warm, and he doesn’t want to be cold the rest of the afternoon. Maybe he can manipulate Luke into getting in, though. He’s seen Luke caught in a rainstorm before, so he knows from experience that nobody looks quite as pretty while drenched. 

It’s too late for Calum to pretend he’s not thinking it, or convince himself that he doesn’t have the world’s worst crush on Luke, so he’s learning just to let himself indulge when he can.

“You so won’t,” Luke scoffs. Then he shrugs. “It’s nice out, though. Maybe in a little bit.”

Calum concedes this with a tilt of the head, and in tandem they sit down on the grass nearby, claiming a shady spot under a tall tree. Luke leans back, stretching his arms behind his head like a pillow, and closes his eyes. Calum props himself up on his elbow and watches Luke.

Some people are winter people, best framed against clean white snow and wrapped up in layers. Luke is a summer person. His skin gleams under the sun, eyes and sky competing to be bluest. T-shirts and shorts suit him best, and even hidden in the shade of the tree, he’s dappled with sunlight through the leaves. Pretty is hardly sufficient; he’s one of the most beautiful people Calum’s ever met, ever seen in his life.

They don’t talk for a minute. Luke’s eyes flutter open, as if by accident, but when he sees Calum they stay open. “What?”

“What, what?”

“Don’t stare at me,” Luke says, pink-cheeked.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“No,” Luke says immediately, and then, “but just — don’t.”

Calum shifts so he’s on his back, side by side with Luke but not quite touching. “Fine, weirdo.”

“You’re the one who was staring!”

“Well, you’re the one who made it weird.”

“It’s weird to stare at your friends.”

“I don’t think it is. Not when they look like you.”

Luke is quiet. “Still,” he finally says, and that’s a soft rejection, but it had been a soft attempt anyway, so Calum takes it with a grain of salt.

Another couple minutes pass. It’s not humid, but the warmth lingering in the air makes Calum feel a bit drowsy, so he closes his eyes also, allowing them both to soak in the summer silence.

Luke breaks it by saying, “Um, this is a stupid question, but we’re really friends, right?”

Calum frowns without opening his eyes. “Of course we are,” he says. “That is a stupid question.”

“I guess you wouldn’t tell me if we weren’t,” Luke continues, like he hasn’t heard Calum.

“I wouldn’t be friends with you at all if we weren’t,” Calum argues. He opens his eyes and turns once again onto his side to look at Luke, who’s now gazing up at the branches above them. “What are you even saying?”

“I don’t know,” Luke says. He’s blushing deeply. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

“Why do you ask?” Calum presses. “What are you thinking about?”

Luke shakes his head. “Nothing. Never mind.��

It’s obviously not nothing — Luke’s leg is bouncing, the way it does whenever he gets nervous — but Calum can’t imagine he’ll get any further with the third degree, so he backs off.

“I’m gonna get in the water,” he decides. He’s not totally sure what makes him say it, but it gets the result he’d hoped for: Luke purses his lips and says, “Me too, then.”

They both get to their feet and brush themselves off. “Is there dirt on my back?” Calum asks, turning out and attempting to look over his shoulder.

Luke steps behind him. “A bit, yeah,” he says. With one hand he braces Calum’s shoulder, and the other brushes the dirt off Calum’s t-shirt. Calum swallows, trying not to squirm under Luke’s firm grasp. As soon as he’s done, Luke moves away, and Calum reaches for the collar of his shirt and pulls it off.

Luke makes a noise. “What are you doing?”

Calum turns to him. “I’m not getting my shirt wet, I’ll just be colder,” he says, drawing his eyebrows together.

Luke bites his lip. “Oh. That makes sense.”

It does make sense, but it also does exactly what Calum had intended. After a moment’s hesitation, Luke also tugs his shirt off, and they both head for the stream.

The current is slow today, and when Calum trudges into the water it goes up to the middle of his stomach. He bends his knees and watches Luke slowly wade in after him, staring once again. Luke is skinny, but there’s something sculpted about him, like none of him is by accident; like someone built him, or sketched him with a ruler and then brought him to life, clean lines and sharp edges. Calum is dying to touch him, just to see if his skin is as hot as the sunlight it’s made of, if dragging a hand down his arm makes him bleed, if his hair is as soft as it looks. 

More than all of that, Calum wants to kiss him, so much he thinks he might lose his mind if he doesn’t get to.

Luke sinks low in the water, digging his heels into the riverbed so he doesn’t drift away. Calum lets the current bring him closer.

“Kinda cold,” Luke says, giggling. Calum looks at him and can’t look away.

“Kinda,” he says. “Bet you’re glad you’re not wearing a shirt now.”

“I am,” Luke acquiesces. “You’re a genius, Calum.”

“That is true. I am a genius.” There’s a pause. “You should dunk your head,” Calum says. “We should both. On three.”

“Really? You want to put your head in this water?”

“It’s just water.”

Luke ponders this but fails to come up with a decent counter-argument. “Fine,” he says. “Promise you’ll actually do it?”

“It was my idea,” Calum says, rolling his eyes. “Yes, I promise.”

“On three, then.” Luke bobs up and down. “One, two — three!”

True to his word, Calum submerges himself completely, then surfaces and shakes his head out. Luke has also kept his word, and his hair is plastered ridiculously to his forehead until he reaches up and pushes it back with one hand. The light is threading itself through the sheen of water over Luke’s shoulders and chest. Calum is helpless against it; Luke was made to be gazed at, and Calum is just a lucky spectator.

“You’re staring again,” Luke says quietly. Calum smiles and floats nearer to him.

“Yes I am,” he says easily. “You’re very easy to stare at.”

Luke’s cheeks turn red. “Don’t say things like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Luke says, flustered. “Because — I don’t know.”

“Do you want me not to?”

“Not to…what?”

Calum bites his lip, waving a hand underwater and sending the flow this way and that. “Whatever it is you’re telling me not to do.”

Luke shakes his head. “It’s just — never mind.”

“You can tell me, you know,” Calum says. Luke’s not moving away, which is a good sign, so Calum straightens up. He feels like he’s towering over Luke until Luke also straightens up, and then, hesitantly, Calum takes a step closer. One more step and they’ll be touching; one more step for Calum to be the first person ever to make contact with the sun. “You don’t have to say never mind. I want to know.”

Luke looks away, down at the rocks and sand under their feet. “My mum says she thinks you’re trouble.”

That’s not what Calum had been expecting. “What?” he says, strained. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Luke mumbles. “She says she thinks you’re going to be one of those people who takes the shy kid under their wing and then just ditches him a few weeks later. Like, one of those popular kids.”

Calum makes an offended noise. “I would never do that!”

“She’s looking out for me,” Luke says, and he sounds tired. “I mean, I…I’ve never really had close friends, so I think she’s just being overprotective. I don’t know. She got in my head. That’s why I asked you that, earlier.”

“Luke, I’d never. You know I’d never. We’re really friends. You’re one of my best friends.” Calum takes a deep breath. “You believe me, right?”

Luke finally lifts his gaze to meet Calum’s. “Yeah, I do. I just don’t think my mum will. I tried to tell her that and she wouldn’t listen.”

Calum is itching to take that last step, but there’s something stopping him. Maybe it’s just the look on Luke’s face. “Is she — does she hate me?”

Luke shrugs. “It’s more like she really doesn’t trust you. So…I guess that’s the same. Sorry, Calum. I mean — I like you, though. And I know she’s wrong.” Something occurs to Calum. “Does she know you’re with me right now?”

Luke laughs a bit, though it’s clear he doesn’t find it funny. “No, uh…I told her we’re not friends, anymore.” He winces. “I know that’s — I know that’s not — I’m a coward, you know? But —”

“It’s okay,” Calum says with difficulty. “You don’t want to upset her.”

“It’s more like I just wanted her to stop shit-talking you,” Luke says. “She doesn’t talk about you anymore, so.”

“That’s good.” Calum bites his lip, hesitant. “I thought you were going to say it was something to do with, like, hanging out with the gay kid or something.”

Luke’s face twists into an expression of horror. “No! Calum, no way.” He breathes a nervous laugh. “She couldn’t have a problem with that anyway. I also, um, like boys, and she’s never said anything about that.”

Calum blinks. “You do?”

Through the water, Calum can see Luke kicking up pebbles. “Yeah,” he says. “I thought I said.”

“You didn’t. Just boys, or…?”

“And girls,” Luke says. “But, um, it’s a bit — it’s not like I’ve ever dated anyone, or kissed anyone, or anything, so, you know, I could be wrong.”

“You’ve never kissed anyone?”

Luke blushes with his whole body, Calum notices, with distant amusement. It creeps up his neck and tints his ears before crossing his cheeks. “Uh, no.”

There’s a beat of silence, and Calum does a quick pro-con analysis, but in the end it’s nothing but hope and recklessness that makes him ask: “Do you want to?”

“Obviously I want to,” Luke says, rolling his eyes.

“No, I mean.” Calum licks his lips, which feel suddenly dry. “Do you want to right now. With me.”

The quiet that follows is the heaviest Calum’s ever been in. It stacks itself onto Calum’s shoulders, daring him to cave, to back down even an inch, but Calum just stands still and watches Luke. If he doesn’t want to, he can always say no. He has to know that Calum will back off if he says no.

Luke swallows hard. “Really?” Calum nods once, holding his breath. There’s another moment of silence while Luke studies his face, and finally he says, “Okay. If you’re sure.”

Calum’s never been more sure of anything in his life. At last the invisible barrier breaks down, and Calum takes the final step to bridge the distance between them. “Stop me if, um, whenever,” he says. Luke nods. Calum settles his hands delicately on Luke’s shoulders — electricity racing up his arms — and Luke moves his hands uncertainly around for a second, so Calum grabs his wrists and settles them on his own waist. “Okay?”

“Sorry,” Luke mutters. Calum shakes his head, a small smile on his face.

“It’s all good,” he says. “Can I…”

Luke nods slowly, so Calum wastes no time. He leans in and Luke meets him in the middle, and for a second everything in the world stops moving, stops existing, except Luke’s mouth on Calum’s, clumsy and unsure but decidedly Luke, who Calum’s wanted to kiss basically since they met. 

Not only is it exceptional for a first kiss, it’s exceptional for a kiss at all. Calum quickly wraps his arms around Luke’s neck and Luke’s wind around Calum’s waist, pressed together at almost every point. Despite the chill from the breeze catching on their damp skin, Calum feels like he’s on fire. If this is what it’s like to touch the sun, Calum never wants to stop. He’d burn himself up to kiss Luke forever.

Though Luke had been tentative at first, he surrenders immediately when Calum slides his tongue over Luke’s bottom lip, with a small sigh that makes Calum’s heart skip a beat, or cease altogether. Around them, the current pushes the two of them impossibly closer together; when Luke’s tongue finds its way into Calum’s mouth, Calum fails to suppress a shiver, and immediately Luke breaks away, concerned.

“Are you cold?” he asks breathlessly.

Calum laughs and shakes his head. “Not even a little bit,” he says, and pulls Luke back in.

The feeling of Luke under his fingertips is overwhelming, and Calum is sure that without the kiss grounding him, he’d float away entirely, or disintegrate, or burst into flames. He feels like he’ll do one of those things as it is, or maybe all three. Kissing Luke is also overwhelming, but in a completely different way, because it’s a two-way street. He’s kissing Luke, but Luke is also kissing him.

(Shamelessly, hungrily, lips and teeth and tongue against Calum’s. Calum has a hard time believing that this is Luke’s first kiss. Nobody should be this good on their first try.)

Eventually, and with a gasp, Luke breaks it again. Calum chases his lips for a last kiss, something soft, because as far as he knows he’ll never get to kiss Luke again. It fills him with dread to think it, but this had ostensibly only been a first-kiss offer, and now they’ve checked that box.

(They’ve destroyed the box. The box is in tatters. The box isn’t even recognizably a box anymore.)

Both of them stand there, unmoving as the stream brushes up against their skin, breathing heavily in each other’s space. Calum can’t think of anything at all to say, and Luke says nothing either; for a long time they just stay there, reluctant to separate and equally reluctant to shatter the silence. If they acknowledge it, then they have to move past it. Calum doesn’t want that. He wants to live in this moment for the rest of his life, to always be suspended in the moment just after kissing Luke, when he can still taste him.

Luke opens his mouth finally, and what he says is, “Oh. Um. Thank you.”

Despair floods Calum. “It wasn’t a favor,” he blurts out. Luke frowns in confusion. “I wanted to. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time. We don’t have to again if you don’t want to, but you should know.”

Luke exhales. “Oh.” His gaze skids lower, away from Calum’s eyes. Calum becomes hyper-aware of how close they still are. Luke hasn’t made any effort to move away, and Calum certainly doesn’t want to. That has to be a good sign, right? “I — um.” He takes a sharp breath. “My mum…”

Fuck. Luke’s fucking mum. Calum’s never hated anyone more. “So don’t tell her,” Calum says. 

Luke looks up at him. “I couldn’t do that to you. I don’t want to be with you like that.”

For a second, Calum’s throat closes up with the bulk of words building up, question marks all trying to force their way between his teeth, tangling up his tongue. “Wh— do you want to be with me at all?”

“Of course I do,” Luke says timidly. “I’m just. I don’t know.” He shakes his head. “It’s kind of scary.”

“Yeah,” Calum says, infusing his voice with as much comfort as he can muster while reeling from the force of Luke’s answer. Of course I do. “Yeah. It’s scary. Sure. Especially if it’s a secret. If it’s too, um, too much — I don’t want to put you in a position —”

“No, no,” Luke says. “I’m saying I want to anyway.” The blush has taken up permanent residence on his face, but somehow Luke’s voice is clear and unflinching. “If it’s okay with you, then it’s okay with me.”

Calum wavers. “Are you sure, Luke? It’s kind of a, you know.”

“I’m sure,” Luke says firmly. His eyes flit around Calum’s face, maybe searching for something. “We should probably, like, get out of the…the water.”

Calum tightens his arms around Luke’s neck, leaning his forehead against Luke’s. His heart is beating irregularly, and it might be from the cold, but it’s probably not. “Or we could not.”

Luke chuckles weakly. “We’ll catch cold or something.”

“It’s December,” Calum says, barely a breath. “Live a little.”

Luke doesn’t answer him, but he surges forward and kisses Calum with none of the reservations he’d had minutes earlier, and if the current washed them both away right now, or sunk them under and mysteriously claimed their lives, Calum knows he’d die happy.

[not-close-to-straight]

Bad Ideas (Chapter 2)

Welcome back to the story! Catch up on Chapter One HERE!  *********************************************

“Wade, this is not a filing system.”

“I don't know what you mean by that honey buns, all those papers are in a filing cabinet. Therefore, they are filed, therefore in a system.” Wade looked up from replacing the battery in his drill and frowned. “What more do you need?”

“Yeah, well.” Peter pushed his glasses up on his forehead long enough to rub at his eyes. “Just because you toss random papers in a file cabinet doesn't mean it's filed. Or sorted. Or organized. Or looking like anything other than a rats nest.”

“You’re awfully rude for someone who hasn't combed his hair in three days.” Wade snipped back. “You want to talk about rats nests?”

Peter sighed in exasperation. “First of all, I combed my hair. It just always looks a little--”

“Rat-nesty?” Wade huffed and stomped out of the office dramatically. “I'm not paying you to talk about hair, Peter! Shut the hell up and do the secretary thing!”

“You’re not paying me at all!” Peter yelled to his retreating back. “Pay day was last Friday!”

“Damn, I'm sorry about that.” Wade did an abrupt about face and started digging for his wallet. “Seriously, Petey that was shitty of me. This is like the third payday I’ve been late on isn't it? Here. I'll give you some extra because I'm a forgetful bastard.”

“I was just--” Peter stared when Wade started counting off hundreds. “I mean, it's not like it's a huge deal. You feed me and I drink all your beer and it's not--God, Wade, seriously. Not a big deal. Stop counting out money. That's way too much.”

“Here.” Wade slapped a handful of bills down. “Sorry about that. Next time just use that plump pretty mouth of yours for something other than holding a pen and maybe use it to --”

“Wade!”-- the plump, pretty mouth in question dropped open in shock and Wade held up a hand.

“--to remind me it's pay day. Jesus, Peter, where did you think I was going with that sentence? What kind of person do you think I am?”

“Not gonna answer that.” Peter picked up the money, and started to protest again as he counted it, but Wade shook his head warningly. “Alright, I'll just say thanks for the obscene amount of cash you just handed me and pretend it doesn't feel sketchy at all.”

“Good boy.” Wade murmured approvingly but teasingly. “Good omega, such a pretty young thing, obeying me like that. Gonna give you all sorts of money and buy you things and--”

“Get out you pervert.” Peter threw a handful of pens at him, and the mechanic just laughed and went back to the shop.

Sitting back at the desk, Peter sighed and looked mournfully at the mess of papers. Working for Wade this past six or seven weeks certainly hadn't been easy, but it definitely was better than any other option. Besides, Wade him laugh, and treated him well, which is something that never happened while working freelance for the Bugle or being Spider--

He shut his thoughts down hard, picking up a blank file and labeling it determinedly, setting his mind on the task of organizing several years worth of paperwork for his new boss, so he wouldn't think about New York or anything he left there.

But paperwork was hardly interesting, so inevitably, unavoidably, his thoughts wandered again, and landed where they always did these days- on the broad shoulders and wicked smile of one overly Alpha Wade Wilson.

Peter hadn't even been sure at first if the man was completely sane, as he often caught him muttering to himself as he worked on whatever car was in the shop, but Wade had caught him looking once, smiled sheepishly and explained that when you worked alone all the time, even talking to yourself was better than the silence. Peter couldn't argue with that, he had taken to talking to himself lonely nights on patrol, so he guessed that was normal.

And then of course there was the time Peter had bent over to pick up a box, and turned around to find Wade openly leering at him. The mechanic had pointed a big wrench in his direction and simply said “Speak now or forever hold your peace, because from now on I will be commenting on that ass loudly and often. Are you sure you aren't looking for work as an escort? Or do they call you ‘models’ these days because damn I could just--”

Peter had rolled his eyes, shrugged, tuned out the man's rambling and went back to work, and as a result, a steady litany of ‘honey buns’ and ‘sweet cheeks’ and ‘sugar butt’ followed him wherever he went. He didn't mind, he didn't, because the Alpha never pushed it, never did more than occasionally look, and always said the words as casually as he would Peter's real name. It was actually fairly innocent, all things considered.

And really, if Wade hadn't brought up their secondary genders in such a straightforward way that very first day, Peter wouldn't think the man even had one. While most Alphas tripped over themselves to feed, clothe, protect, and provide for an unbonded Omega, Wade was content to leave Peter be. When he had nightmares and knew waves of tired, fear, uneasy were rolling off him, Wade didn't even look up from whatever project he had in front of him. Every Alpha in the world was wired to respond to a hurt Omega, but the other day a toolbox had fallen on Peter's foot, and he had very nearly screamed and Wade had glanced up and asked if it was broken, and went right to working.

In a way it didn't seem fair, because even with his suppressants and scent blockers, Peter was too fucking aware of everything the Alpha did. The way Wade stretched after getting out from under a car. The way his throat moved when he drank a beer. It was distracting as hell. Even with the mysterious and honestly, kind of terrifying scars, Wade was a good looking guy. All cheekbones and strong jaw and deep dark eyes. Big hands and bigger arms and so many muscles Peter wanted to weep. Easily 200 pounds, probably more, and it was all just so many muscles.

Distracting. As. Hell.

“Hey, pretty boy, you done staring into space? Just got that last car out the door. Lets call it a day.” Wade interrupted his thoughts, startling the hell out of him, and winged a bottle of his favorite brew across the room. Peter's hand shot up lighting fast and snatched it out of the air.

Wade looked a little impressed. “I was aiming for your face, you know. Those reflexes of yours are pretty quick.”

“Or maybe you should just aim better next time.” Peter twisted the cap off the beer and took a long drink. “I supposed I’ve put a big enough dent in this disaster today.”

“Caught up much? Or still slogging through the jungle?” Wade jerked his head toward the outside, and Peter got up to follow him.

“I've gotten through one year so far. Receipts, bills, more receipts, work orders, purchase orders, random shit you keep for some reason. And it only took me a month. So you know, another year or so and I should be done catching up, and ready to tackle all of the paperwork from this year that you haven't done.”  

“It's your job to do the paperwork, not my problem if you are behind. And congratulations.” Wade kicked his usual chair over and Peter dropped into it with a loud sigh. “You're a fourth of the way caught up.”

“So what, then? If I'm only a fourth of the way there, you've been here four years?”

“Yeah. Just about.” Wade took a pull from his bottle and Peter knew to drop the conversation. Wade could talk bull shit all day but the second it turned into anything remotely related to his past, he shut it down. It was alright with Peter. He didn't want Wade asking questions about him either. Their arrangement was fine. It worked just fine.

“So. You gonna be moving on soon?” Wade asked suddenly, all too casually, staring off down the driveway.

“Uh, I wasn't planning on it?” Peter scratched his head awkwardly. “Is this not working out? I thought we were getting on alright.” He spread his hands in confusion. “Should I be moving on?”

“Oh no. No, no. We’re getting on just fucking fine, sweet cheeks. You just don't seem like the type to stick around for real long, so I was trying to get a timeline on your departure date, is all.”

“Why would you say that?” Peter frowned. “I live here, don't I? I've moved in, am here every day for work, we have drinks together half the time. Does that not seem...I mean that seems pretty stable.”

“Yeah but you showed up with just a backpack.” Wade pointed out. “And it's not like you sent away for any boxes or anything. And I know you're running from something. So I just assumed…”

“What do you mean, you know I'm running from something? How could you possibly--why would you assume that?” Peter's voice rose anxiously, and Wade shook his head.

“I’ve done a lot of running in my day, kid. I just know the look. Now I don't care what you’re running from-” Wade assured him, “so stop panicking. I don't care, either. Don't want to know. If you want to stay here, you are welcome to stay as long as you want. But if you want to leave, I just don't want to wake up one morning and you be gone. So a little heads up is all I'm asking for.”

“That's fair.” Peter reached for another beer, and handed one to Wade when he held his hand out. “Well, I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon. So.”

“Good.”

They sat in silence for a long time, nursing their beers, watching the sunset behind the hills across from the garage. This was Peter's favorite time of day. After work, after any errands, when Wade would hand him a beer and they’d just sit on the deck of the house. Sometimes they talked, most times they didn't. Sometimes Wade sat a little closer to him, other times Peter sat clear on the other side. Most nights they parted ways after one beer, others they sat out until the stars came out, and the night wind turned cold.

Tonight, Wade finished his second beer in silence, then stood and rubbed a hand over his bare scalp. “Want to come in for dinner, then? I don't know what you eat all the time, but it certainly isn't fattening you up at all.”

“Uh, sure? Dinner sounds good. But um, can you cook?”

“Can I cook, he asks.” Wade mocked him in a high tone, heading into his house without waiting to see if Peter was following. “Why no, Peter, I thought I would invite you over and feed you ramen and chips. Jesus Christ, fucking kids these days just thinking--”

“I'm walking right next to you Wade! Quit talking to yourself like a psycho!” Peter sounded annoyed but was laughing and Wade shot him a completely affronted look, but held the door of his house open so Peter could walk ahead of him.

“You could at least thank me for holding the door open for you.” he scolded and the gorgeous brunette tossed a grin over his shoulder.

“I would, but you only did it so you could look at my ass.” Wade leaned forward and licked his lips exaggeratedly and Peter started laughing.  “Down boy! Stop looking at my ass! Or at least be subtle about it!”

“But honey it's sooo pretty!” Wade whined, and Peter laughed all the way inside.

*******************************

A surprisingly good dinner and several beers later, Peter was feeling loose and relaxed, sipping slowly from his last bottle, head tipped back against the back of Wade’s couch. The house was cozy, but uncluttered. No pictures on the wall, but the bookshelf was over flowing. Hardwood floors but thick rugs under all the furniture. One bathroom and bedroom downstairs decorated in the most outrageous floral print Peter had ever seen, and the master suite upstairs was all modern design, and black and white and red colors. The entire house was odd, and funny and just right.

Peter felt at home almost instantly, surrounded by the scent of Alpha, and he sighed, long and slow, and closed his eyes.

He'd never really been around an Alpha like this. As Spider-Man he had spent so much time teaching himself to not react to Alphas or Omegas that he'd never learned exactly how comforting an Alpha's scent could be, or how distressing. And Wade was a disconcerting mix of the two. Sitting in the house, surrounded by so much of Wade, Peter didn't know if he wanted to bury himself in a nest of blankets and never leave, or run away because the scent made him so aware of absolutely everything about himself and the Alpha.

So for now, he just leaned farther back, taking small sips from his beer, letting himself sink into the couch and be warm and comfortable.

Damn it. Wade thought, coming around the corner with a fresh beer and stopping in his tracks. Peter was draped over the couch, all long legs and lean muscles, eyes closed and rolling the rim of his drink over those pretty pretty he's just so pretty lips. He looked completely relaxed, entirely comfortable, and like he fucking belonged and deep in Wade's chest, his Alpha stirred.

Hell no. Big nope. Nopety nope.

“Dial it back.” Wade instructed brusquely and Peter raised an eyebrow, disconcerted.

“Dial what back?” He looked genuinely confused and Wade wanted to kiss him. Wanted to kiss that confusion right out of those deep dark eyes.

Nopety nope big guy. Terrible idea. Abort mission, abort mission.

“The ‘I'm so relaxed all I want to do is be touched’ vibes. You're killing me, so dial it the fuck back so I can sit in my own living room. What did I tell you about your omega pheromones?” His voice was harsher than he meant it to be, but it was too late to take it back, and he saw the change in Peter's demeanor instantly.

“Sorry.” Peter sat up, hunching his shoulders, averting his eyes. “Sorry, I thought you weren't interested, or-or were immune to all that or something. I wasn't trying to--”

“I'm might not be interested, but no Alpha is immune to all that, baby boy. Relaxed happy Omegas call to all of us.” He flopped into a recliner still a good distance from where Peter was blushing and rolling his bottle between his fingers, and trying not to react to the annoyance coming from the big alpha.

“You want to talk about what you're running from?” He said after a minute, trying to soften his voice so Peter would stop looking like a kicked puppy. But if it was possible, Peter folded even farther in on himself.

“No.” He shook his head firmly. “No thanks. Hey, uh, you know...thanks for dinner. But if it's alright, I think I'll head out now. Don't want to accidentally overwhelm you with any...vibes or whatever, and I should stop drinking if I hope to wake up in time tomorrow. So yeah. I'll head out.”

“That's fine.” Wade felt bad about being so short about earlier, so he caught his gaze as the kid passed and grinned. “Sleep tight Peter-pie.”

That got a half smile from the boy, and Wade absolutely did not want to growl in approval.

I am 100% not interested in that omega.

[the-excursion]

Fictober #31

Prompt: “I’ve waited so long for this.”

Original Fiction

Story: Vibes/Faded

((We’ve waited so long for this to be over lol))

~Ramona dreamt about a boy with orange hair. His eyes shadowed and obstructed by the haziness of the dream, he wore a bright and cocky grin he flashed her way when she was near. She held him close and felt a sort of comfort being wrapped in his arms. She refused to let him go until he was suddenly ripped away.~

Ramona woke up and realized she was flat on her back on her bed. She took a breath then moved her eyes and looked over to find Selena was on her own bed asleep as well. She wondered what happened between the time of their meditation and now that got her fast asleep. Ramona anxiously tapped her fingers against the bed, wondering if it had worked at all and if she was able to sit up on her own. She was admittedly nervous to try.

“Yo. Hey, Sel. Get up,” Ramona called to her to wake her up. Selena slowly opened her eyes.

“Good morning beautiful,” Selena said right after yawning.

“I know, that’s obvious. Would you get over here,” Ramona began sternly. Selena quickly got up and moved over to Ramona.

“What's wrong? Is the floor lava?” Selena jokingly asked.

“I’m not risking further injury just because I chose to believe what you said,” she began as she rose her hand. “Help me sit up.” Selena slid off of her bed and started helping Ramona sit up. Ramona shut her eyes tight and held her breath as she gripped Selena’s hand and gradually sat up. Once she was sitting straight, she put her hands to her abdomen then her back and gave a short sigh of relief.

“Hey, those mind games do work for something,” Ramona said with a raised brow. Selena nodded.

“I wouldn't really call it mind games, but I'm glad they worked,” Selena said as she stood up.

“Just some soreness but it’s bareable. I guess I should say.. thanks,” Ramona said with a shrug.  Selena nodded.

“Yeah, no problem. So what's our plan now that you're better?” Selena asked.

“Now that we have somewhat of an idea of where they’re at, we’re catching Void and finishing them,” Ramona said confidently as she stood and put her shirt back on while Selena gathered her things and put on her mask she had on hand.

They soon exited the motel and were back on Ramona’s hoverbike. Ramona was set on finding Void but couldn’t help her mind occasionally drift. The meditation helped with her body but only enhanced her innermost thoughts in her dreams momentarily. She shook her head and gave a short sigh, taking her mind off anything distracting or in her way.

“Ah alright, we’re in the area rumored they hang around. We can slow down and look around,” she said as she slowed the bike. Her and Selena looked around their surroundings on the bike.

“I doubt they're really going to be out and about considering what happened yesterday. They should be laying low,” Selena said as she continued looking around.

“You never know, there could be one idiot hanging around thinking he’s keeping guard,” Ramona responded.

“Or making an alci run for the rest,” Selena added with a smile. Just then Selena spotted someone who looked nervous. They were looking back at them and walking with a faster pace than everyone else. Selena drilled her gaze on him. Once he noticed this he started running.

“I found one!” Selena yelled out as she pointed towards him. Ramona wasted no time and accelerated her bike. Upon closer look he was one of Void’s slim Vensykan gangsters. Ramona was able to catch up to him and grab him by the back of his collar. With the force of her bike she was able to pull him off the ground and drag him. In one motion she threw him into a nearby alleyway. She stopped with a hard brake and hopped off the bike as Selena followed close.

“Alright I’m not giving this guy any options, we’re making him talk the hard way,” Ramona said as she extended her staff with its blades as the two approached him. Selena took a look around their surroundings. She grabbed the Vensykan gangster by the collar and dragged him further into the alley way. Once she was sure they were deep enough into the alley she dropped him to the ground. She took out a pair of hard light handcuffs and latched him to a pipe. Selena crouched down and looked at him.

“She's bad cop, I'm neutral cop, unless you piss me off. Then I'm bad cop number two,” Selena said after pointing at Ramona, showing the gangster she was not one to play with.

“And a couple of pretty faced girls are supposed to scare me?” The Vensykan snapped. Ramona shortly twirled her staff before sending the sharp end straight into his leg. He promptly yelled and struggled against the cuffs.

“How pretty are we now?” Selena asked as she lightly pressed her foot against his wound.

“I’m not saying shit,” the Vensykan spat out. “I’d rather die here then die at the hands of the boss if he finds out I told.”

“We could have that arranged,” Ramona said in a cold serious tone. Selena took out her phone and took a picture of him. She started doing a quick search through social networks using his face in number of repositories. She was able to find a number of private and public accounts.

“Your boss might kill you sure but would you want us to kill you and then for me to send this to my friend here,” Selena said as she showed the gangster she was scrolling through his friends list. The gangster’s eyes widened until he tried and failed again to struggle against his cuffs.

“You’re fucking crazy!” He said as he glanced up at Ramona. She subtly licked her lips and winked at him.

“Fine! Don’t hurt anyone. The gang hides out in the heart of the city. Hiding in plain sight. They work underground since Vensykans easily adapt to environments. Let me fucking go, I’m out of here,” he exclaimed.

“Thank you buddy,” Selena said as she put her phone away. She gave a short glance to Ramona letting her know to do what she saw fit with the captive gangster. Ramona stared into his eyes for a moment and was about to make her call before she stopped herself. She wasn’t feeling exactly herself since she woke up that morning. She then rolled her eyes and passively waved her hand.

“Let him go. You’re useless now so get out of my sight.” Selena promptly removed his cuffs, the Vensykan swiftly sprinting away as soon as he was uncuffed.

Selena looked at Ramona and nodded.

“Come on then. Let's get going now just in case he tries to warn them,” Selena said as she started walking back to the bike. Selena took a long look back at her. “Are you fine by the way. Looked a little dazed back there?” Selena asked. Ramona ran her hand through her hair and was silent for a moment.

“Just a bit distracted since this morning. Never did that meditation thing correctly before then. But it’s nothing. I have to push all other thoughts aside. I’ve waited so long for this, and I am not letting it slip away,” Ramona said before walking back to her bike as well. “Remember we only have one goal in mind, as per our agreement,” she added as she playfully yet roughly shoved her. Selena smiled.

“Okay let's get this done then,” Selena said catching back up to Ramona.

Ramona and Selena rode through the city until they reached the center. They got off the bike and walked around for a moment.

“There aren’t any subways around here. How are we getting underground?” Ramona thought aloud. Selena raised her eyebrows.

“Sewer system silly,” Selena said as she pointed towards a nearby sewer grate. Ramona’s eyes widened.

“Are you kidding me? We aren’t actually going to do that are we?” She asked exasperatedly.

Selena looked a little confused.

“You don't do sewers. If you want you can borrow my mask if it's really gonna bother you,” Selena said as she tapped her rebreather mask.

“Keep your stupid mask. I want the last thing they see to be my face and the last thing they remember to be this face being the one that took them over,” Ramona said confidently. Selena nodded and started opening the sewer grate.

“Let's hop in then,” Selena said as she held the grate open for Ramona. She reluctantly went down into the sewer shortly followed by Selena as they closed the grate behind them. The two pulled out their phones, turning on their flashlight modes to see.

“Ugh it’s dark and shitty down here. We better find them soon. Now I have more reason to take them out,” Ramona said as they walked along. Selena chuckled.

“It's not as bad with a mask,” she joked. “But I will say back in the city I grew up in, sewers were where you went to ditch swine,” Selena added.

“So I’m assuming that’s where you hung out?” Ramona responded.

“Well I didn't hang out in the sewers like these guys, but if the cops were on me for some reason or another you bet I went under to lose them,” Selena answered.

“I’m not one for these kinds of places. I’d prefer the street over a sewer any day,” Ramona said passively.

“Sometimes you gotta wade through some shit,” Selena said with a shoulder shrug.

They continued along the sewer until they heard something just ahead. They heard the scattered conversation of Void.

“I made the call last time. What do you want to do this time? Sneak up or hit them hard?” Ramona asked.

“Hmm we'll go in stealthy and then wing it when shit pops off,” Selena answered. Ramona nodded before the two split off and went for the gangsters farthest away from anyone. Ramona extended her staff and detached it from the middle, making it into two spears. She kept one attached to her belt while she used the other to choke out the gangsters while snapping their necks.

Selena unsheathed her short katana and krept up to one of the gangsters. She quickly but quietly slid the sword through the side of his neck killing him and stopping him from making noise. She made sure she guided the gangsters bodies to the ground as Ramona and her cleared a path closer to the center. Eventually they cleared all the straggling gang members. All that were left stood in the middle.

“Yeah there's a large shipment of hardlight cartridges that comes through the main port on a weekly basis. Hitting it is going to be easy. Even with the few guys we lost yesterday,” the large Vensykan leader spoke with a firm tone. Void's leader and his followers sat around the center of their messy hideout. Selena hid behind a stack of large speakers. She looked passed the gangsters to confirm Ramona's position.

Ramona sat at the ready clutching her pistol watching the gangsters talk.

“Boss aren't we gonna try and get payback for the guys we lost?” One Vensykan asked.

“Why would we go and jeopardize our safety for some members who got themselves killed,” the leader dismissed the question.

“But they were one of-” the Vensykan couldn't  finish his sentence before catching a hardlight bolt to the head. Ramona made the first shot before charging in. Selena followed suit and started sending off her own fire. Once close enough to the group she put away her pistol and took out a custom weapon she called a chain and claw.

'I don't think I've used this thing yet,’ Selena thought as she twirled the claw shaped tool around.

Ramona sent a volley of hardlight into the group once her cartridge was empty she holstered her pistol and grabbed the other end of her staff and threw it at one of the gangsters hitting him in his chest. One of the gangsters charged at Ramona holding a knife; with a quick dodge she grabbed his wrist, twisting it, grabbing the knife, and driving it into his neck. In the corner of her eye she noticed another gangster trying to steady a shot. She flung the other spear ending his focus. Now unarmed Ramona resorted to hand to hand combat.

Selena swung the chain and claw at one of the larger Vensykan’s leg. The chain wrapped around his thigh and the claw automatically latched on. Using her body weight she managed dropping him to the ground. With the claw still latched to downed man she whipped the chain at a combatant severely injuring their leg and disabling their movement. She unlatched the claw and finished off both gangsters with her katana. Selena took a quick look at Ramona to find she was fighting off the gangsters without her weapons. Spotting one end of Ramona's staff in a corpse she used her chain to fling it to her.

“Hey catch,” Selena said as she flung the spear to Ramona.

Ramona saw the oncoming spear and rather than trusting herself to catch it she put one of the last standing gangsters by her in a hold and guided his head to the falling spear. Once it spiked into the Vensykan's skull Ramona reclaimed one half of her staff. With the spear in hand she quickly dispatched the other gangster by her. Now clear of combatants by her she grabbed her other spear.

“Good catch right?” She winked at Selena.

Void's leader stood back watching in awe as his gang was decimated. Shock had overtaken him, he was unable to move. Even as Ramona slowly approached him he was only able to tremble in place.

“Hope you enjoyed roughing me up before. Cause that’s all over now. It’s my turn now, asshole,” she said. Ramona's words snapped him back into place.

“No fuck that I'm not letting some bitch kill me like this,” he said as he lunged for the pistol that laid by one of his fallen comrades. But before he could get far the chain and claw wrapped itself around his neck. He now stood struggling trying to use his fingers to loosen up the chain’s grip, only managing to cut his fingers.

“I got you this time,” Selena said as she kept a firm grip on the chain's hilt. Ramona smiled as she used her two spears to create tension on the chain.

“A shame you won’t be there for the new era of Void,” with that she pulled her spears in one full force motion, choking him which soon ended his life.

Ramona retrieved her spears and attached them together to make her staff.

“About. Time.” She said stubbornly.

“Yeah I'm glad it's over. Though I will say when I started hunting these guys it wasn't my original intention to start a blood bath,” Selena said as she wrapped up her chain and claw, and stowed it away.

“Well things don’t always go to plan. Except for me right now. Things went just as they had to and as I wanted them to. Now can we get out of here it’s going to smell way worse than it already does down here,” Ramona responded.

“Yeah, no problem. Just let me confirm I got this bounty,” Selena said as she took a few scans and pictures of the now dead leader and surrounding area. She sent a pin with the location along with the images and scans. “Come on let's get going before they swing by to clean this up. It's crazy the shit they let a licensed bounty hunter get away with,” Selena said with a head shake.

“Yeah well I wouldn’t know,” Ramona said passively. The two then made their way out of sewers and found their way back to Ramona’s bike. “Well, since I’ll be taking over Void with my crew and you’re a bounty hunter, it looks like this is where we part ways,” she said as she sent her location back to her ship.

“Yeah guess so. Though I will let you know this whole bounty hunting thing is really just a means to my goal,” Selena explained.

“Regardless, this is my last time associating with any bounty hunter. If you’re only doing this temporarily, maybe we’ll see each other again by chance and your pick up lines will actually work on me,” Ramona joked. Selena laughed.

“Yeah maybe we'll hang out sometime. After you used me to help kill those guys you at least owe me a diner if not another motel room,” Selena said with a wink.

“Maybe something more worth my time like those meditation lessons. See ya, Sel,” Ramona smirked then got on her bike and drove off to where her ship communicated to her it would be at. Selena gave a quick scratch of her head before making the walk back to her ship.

[cranktrash-blog]

GOOSE movie script

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a GOOSE should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The GOOSE, of course, flies anyway because GEESE don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. ETHAN! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - ETHAN? - MARK? - Can you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! ETHAN, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, MARK. - Hey, ETHAN. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, ETHAN. - Artie, growing a PINK MUSTACHE? Looks good. - Hear about WADE? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, FUCK someone, you die. Don’t waste it on THE KING OF THE SQUIRRELS. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, MARK, today we are men. - We are! - CRAZY BOYS. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished GEESE, please welcome Dean HONKwell. Welcome, New L.A. graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a GOOSE, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. SUBSCRIBERS begin when our valiant YOUTUBERS bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… SUBSCRIBERS! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of GOOSE existence. These GEESE are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Catches that little strand of SUBSCRIBERS that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most GOOSE jobs are small ones. But GEESE know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that GEESE, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 1 BILLION years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, MARK, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re GEESE We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Check it out. - Hey, those are YOUTUBERS! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can’t just decide to be a YOUTUBER. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. GEESE make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Couple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a YOUTUBER. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - ETHAN! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, HONKy-boy? Are you GOOSE enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the SUBSCRIBER field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a FUCKER. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into SUBSCRIBERS! - ETHAN, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into SUBSCRIBERS. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some SUBSCRIBERS and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. DIAMOND PLAY BUTTONS counting, stunt GOOSE, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A GOOSE died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt GOOSE, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. ETHAN, what do you think I should… ETHAN? ETHAN! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re CRANKY! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their GAMERS today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, GEESE cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, GOOSE law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK! HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK! HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - FUCKER, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have GAMERS visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. GAMERS! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some DIAMOND PLAY BUTTONS here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON power. More DIAMOND PLAY BUTTONS, more flowers, more nectar, more SUBSCRIBERS for us. Cool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Could be daisies. Don’t we need those? Copy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Chemical-y. Careful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet DANK MEME LORD OF GEESE! Candy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Coming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, SUBSCRIBER, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a GOOSE in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, GOOSE. - He’s back here! He’s going to FUCK me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t FUCK you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Can’t fly in rain. Can’t fly in rain. Can’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! GOOSE going down! ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, could you close the window please? ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, could you close the window please? Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! GOOSE! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, TYLER. Thanks. - TYLER, next week? PEANUT BUTTER night? - Sure, ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. Alright, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a GOOSE law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Come on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a GOOSE! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a GOOSE. - Yeah. I’m talking to a GOOSE. And the GOOSE is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, SUBSCRIBER.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. GEESE are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Can I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. STARBUCKS VANILLA DOUBLE SHOT ENERGY DRINK? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just STARBUCKS VANILLA DOUBLE SHOT ENERGY DRINK. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Come on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you alright? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a GOOSE joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, ETHAN? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new QUEEN AMY was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You alright, ma’am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of STARBUCKS VANILLA DOUBLE SHOT ENERGY DRINK! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the STARBUCKS VANILLA DOUBLE SHOT ENERGY DRINK. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Can I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, ETHAN. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and CRANKY. They talk CRANKY. They eat CRANKY giant things. They drive CRANKY. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - CHICA. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out your job and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she GOOSE-ish? - A DUCK?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a DUCK. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a GOOSE law. You wouldn’t break a GOOSE law. - Her name’s TYLER. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so FUCKIN’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Cinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking GOOSE, my friend. Thinking GOOSE! - Thinking GOOSE. - Thinking GOOSE. Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, ETHAN? I gotta start thinking GOOSE? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a GOOSE! Would it kill you to make a little SUBSCRIBER? ETHAN, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? ETHAN, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! TYLER! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s GOOSE-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the CONVENTION OF GAMERS, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A CONVENTION. Do the GAMERS compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. Alright, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb GEESE! You must want to FUCK all those jerks. We try not to FUCK. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Cute GOOSE, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - GEESE make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just SUBSCRIBERS, ETHAN. Just what?! GEESE don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, KATHRYN. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice SUBSCRIBER out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset GEESE! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the SUBSCRIBER coming from? Tell me where! SUBSCRIBER Farms! It comes from SUBSCRIBER Farms! CRANKY person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To SUBSCRIBER Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, CRANKY stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, GOOSE! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Carl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - GOOSE! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, BLUE BOY? Hey, Blood. Just a row of SUBSCRIBER jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that SUBSCRIBER’S ours. - GEESE hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You gotta be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, GOOSE! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y’all down here. Did you bring your CRANKY straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A GOOSE’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Check out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the SUBSCRIBER, and we make the money. “They make the SUBSCRIBER, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our QUEEN AMY was moved here. We had no choice. This is your QUEEN AMY? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag QUEEN AMY! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! GOOSE SUBSCRIBERS. Our SUBSCRIBER is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, ETHAN, stop. Who told you humans are taking our SUBSCRIBERS? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? ETHAN! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The GEESE! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those CRANKY legs kept me up all night. ETHAN, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than GEESE! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our SUBSCRIBERS? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one GOOSE do? FUCK them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can FUCK the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more GOOSE beards! With BOB MUYSKENS at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm FUCKER. Sports with HONK Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. - Good evening. I’m BOB MUYSKENS. - And I’m Jeanette Chung. A tri-county GOOSE, ETHAN NESTOR, intends to sue the human race for stealing our SUBSCRIBERS, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on GOOSE Larry King, we’ll have three former QUEEN AMY here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to ETHAN NESTOR. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? GEESE have never been afraid to change the world. What about GOOSE Columbus? GOOSE Gandhi? GOOSEjesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The CRANKY COMMUNITY is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the GOOSE century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard ‘em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. She’s 81. SUBSCRIBER, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same GOOSE? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, GOOSE. This is ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go ‘cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our PEANUT BUTTER night! Bye-bye. Why is PEANUT BUTTER night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and MARK here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? GEESE have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent FUCKERS, pointless pollination. GEESE must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “SUBSCRIBER, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a SUBSCRIBER GOOSE can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, ETHAN? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the GOOSE team. You CRAZY BOYS work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Court of New York, ETHAN GOOSE NESTOR v. the SUBSCRIBER Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. NESTOR… you’re representing all the GEESE of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. NESTOR imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking GOOSE! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. NESTOR? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary GOOSE. SUBSCRIBERS are pretty important to me. It’s important to all GEESE. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us ‘cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our SUBSCRIBERS, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Call your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of SUBSCRIBER Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own SUBSCRIBERburton and Honron! Yes, they provide GEESEkeepers for our farms. GOOSEkeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any GOOSE-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free GEESE. You keep GEESE. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of SUBSCRIBERS. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, FREDDY FAZBEAR, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill GEESE! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. FUCK, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The IIIM TYLER Police. But you’ve never been an IIIM TYLER police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of GOOSE culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. FUCK? Because I’m feeling a little stung, FUCK. Or should I say… Mr. GERALD O.G. CHAN! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless GEESE so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, NESTOR! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called ETHAN. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, ETHAN was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? GEESE have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, I let ETHAN borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old FUCKER. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, I’m wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like SUBSCRIBER! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little GOOSE! And he happens to be the nicest GOOSE I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking GEESE, no PEANUT BUTTER night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. ETHAN NESTOR GOOSE to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about GEESE. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. NESTOR GOOSE, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a GOOSE documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your QUEEN AMY give birth to all the GOOSE children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, ETHAN… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate GOOSE, aren’t you, NESTOR? He’s denouncing GEESE! Don’t y’all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! MARK, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! FUCKING’S the only thing they know! It’s their way! - MARK, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the SUBSCRIBERGEESE versus the human race took a pointed turn against the GEESE yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to FUCK someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. MARK, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Could you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. GEESE don’t smoke. Right. GEESE don’t smoke. GEESE don’t smoke! But some GEESE are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. GEESE are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a GOOSE smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a GOOSE. Look at what has happened to GEESE who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as SUBSCRIBER slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these GEESE! Free the GEESE! Free the GEESE! Free the GEESE! Free the GEESE! Free the GEESE! The court finds in favor of the GEESE! TYLER, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the SUBSCRIBERS will finally belong to the GEESE. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, NESTOR. You’ll regret this. ETHAN, how much SUBSCRIBER is out there? All right. One at a time. ETHAN, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve GEESE living the GOOSE way a long time,1 BILLION years. Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all GOOSE work camps. Then we want back the SUBSCRIBER that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate GOOSE-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of SUBSCRIBERS in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Can’t breathe. Bring it in, CRAZY BOYS! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. HONKwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shutdown SUBSCRIBER production! Stop making SUBSCRIBERS! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Cannonball! We’re shutting SUBSCRIBER production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. MARK, you wouldn’t believe how much SUBSCRIBER was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your UNCLE GIZMO was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our SUBSCRIBER back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our SUBSCRIBERS? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. SUBSCRIBERS really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess GEESE. GEESE? Specifically, me. I didn’t think GEESE not needing to make SUBSCRIBER would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need GEESE. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll FUCK you, you step on me. - That Just kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, ETHAN… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. TYLER? TYLER? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final CONVENTION OF GAMERS parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. TYLER, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. CONVENTION OF GAMERS. GAMERS can’t do sports. Wait a minute. GAMERS. GAMERS? GAMERS! TYLER! GAMERS?! ETHAN? - GAMERS are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, GEESE, DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? Could you slow down? ETHAN! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the GAMERS, the GAMERS have the DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON. I know every GOOSE, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - GEESE. - Park. - DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! CONVENTION OF GAMERS, Pasadena, California. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. TYLER SCHEID, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma’am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your FUCKER. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough DIAMOND PLAY BUTTONS to do the job. Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is CAPTAIN BRIAN. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. ETHAN, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. CAPTAIN BRIAN, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. GOOSE! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, ETHAN. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your CAPTAIN BRIAN. Would a Miss TYLER SCHEID in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another GOOSE joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is TYLER SCHEID. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - ETHAN NESTOR. From the SUBSCRIBER trial?! Oh, great. TYLER, this is nothing more than a big metal GOOSE. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, ETHAN! We’re headed into some lightning. This is BOB MUYSKENS. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. ETHAN NESTOR, fresh from his legal victory… That’s ETHAN! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a GOOSE on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. NESTOR and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a GOOSE shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “#SMILEALWAYS.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making SUBSCRIBERS takes a lot of GEESE doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get GEESE back to working together. That’s the GOOSE way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. beep-beep! beep-beep! ETHAN, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! TYLER, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Come on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? NESTOR, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The YOUTUBERS! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Can you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Come on. You got to think GOOSE, ETHAN. - Thinking GOOSE. - Thinking GOOSE. Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 1-BILLION-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! - TYLER, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on GOOSE power. Ready, CRAZY BOYS? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of GEESE! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, ETHAN! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Come on, already. ETHAN, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. ETHAN, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make SUBSCRIBER, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be GEESE, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re GEESE! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, ETHAN. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a YOUTUBER! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our ETHAN. Mom! The GEESE are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who’s next? Would you like some SUBSCRIBER with that? It is GOOSE-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. ETHAN, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! ETHAN, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, ETHAN. Can I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, ETHAN! That GOOSE is living my life! Let it go, ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking GOOSE, my friend. - Thinking GOOSE! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

-brooke (aka cranktrash)

changes:

goose for bee

ethan as barry

mark as adam

wade as frankie

tyler as vanessa

andrew as ken

amy as the queen

kathryn as hector

chica as the poodle

bob as bob bumble

gizmo as uncle carl

G as gordon m. sumner

brian as captain 

fuck for sting

honk for buzz

subscribers for honey

youtubers for pollen jocks

diamond play button for pollen

gamers for roses

convention for tournament

duck for wasp

crazy boys for boys

cranky for crazy

l.a. for hive city

king of squirrels for squirrel

pink mustache for mustache

1 billion for 27 million

cranky community for bee community

blue boy for bee boy

dank meme lord of geese for lord of bees

peanut butter for yogurt

starbucks vanilla double shot energy drink for coffee

#smilealways for “surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense”

added - “iiim tyler” and “freddy fazbear”

[ngirl64]

Similar Interests 23

This is the last part that is recorded in mine and @ask-the-dark-angel‘s roleplay, I do believe we are gonna be starting a new one, or we may be working on this one again. Sorry for this being so long, click the keep reading to get to the actual content of this part.

Pit: Heheh, well that does sound nice. We haven’t really gone out anywhere, just the two of us yet have we? *He goes back to helping Vallerie with her food while keeping up the conversation*

Carol: *She thinks for a while before speaking* No, we really haven’t. Most of the time if we do leave together it’s for a mission for Lady Palutena. It would be nice just for us to go out. 

Pit: RIght!

Dark Pit: Just, never drop your guard. *He mutters his words. He thinks to when he and Rose were on the beach together and, while not showing it, doesn’t want something similar happening to Pit and Carol*

Carol: *Hearing Dark pit she frowned but quickly put her smile back up* We should go to the park, or fly around. You decide Pit.

Rose: *She held Dark Pit’s hand under the table and gave it a gentle squeeze for reassurance* 

Dark Pit: *He looks to Rose and gives a small smile as she does*

Pit: *He thinks for a little bit. As much as he loves flying, he thinks it’d be nice to go to a park, do something different.* Well, i like the idea of the park, so how about we do that?

Carol: *She nodded and smiled* Yeah I like that idea.

Rose: *After finishing with her breakfast she got up from the table* Well you two make sure you have fun, and be careful. I’m sure it’ll be a perfect day for it.

Dark Pit: *He finishes soon after and nods* Mhmm. Don’t worry about your Angel duties today, Pit. *He pauses and sighs* I’ll do them for you. So, Palutena, if there’s anything that you normally have Pit do, i’ll do it for today.

Pit: Really?! Thanks, Pittoo!

Dark Pit: Shut up…

Palutena: Thank you very much for the help, Dark Pit.

Rose: *She smiles and gives Dark Pit a small kiss on the cheek* You’re too sweet. *She walks over to Vallerie and cleans some of the food off her face* You and Pit go enjoy yourselves. We’ll hold the fort for you.

Vallerie: *smiles* Yay! Spend time wif Rose!!!!!!

Dark Pit: I really am… *he quietly groans, knowing how much he hates angel duties.*

Pit: Thanks a lot, guys. Vallerie, make sure you behave yourself while we’re gone.

Vallerie: OK!

Carol: *She smiles* well then, shall we head off?

Rose: *Cuts up some more food for Vallerie* 

Pit: Sure thing! *When ready, he begins to leave with Carol. He then turns and waves* Bye for now!

Dark Pit: *He holds up a hand as to wave* See ya.

Carol: *She spreads her wings and takes off flying next to Pit* You know, I actually planned with Rose to do this. She helped me to make the dress. I hope you’re not too mad.

Pit: Oh? Aww, well it’s a nice surprise. I’m not mad, in fact, i’m happy. I get to spend time with you! Did you get Pittoo to help out too by having him do my Angel Duties for the day?

Carol: *She keeps her flight steady with Pit’s* Yeah, it took a bit of pushing, but once Rose spoke up and said that you deserved a break and that once we were back she’d let him pick their next date spot. I never thought that Pittoo would be such a softie in this situation.

Pit: Heheh, he’s full of surprises. Well, good job on getting him to help.

*Meanwhile with Rose, Dark Pit, Vallerie, and Palutena*

Vallerie: Water warm!! Love warm!

Rose: *Giggles* Yes the water is warm. *She lifts Vallerie up out of the water*

Vallerie: Dry! Quick!

Rose: *Looks at Dark Pit Sitting by the edge then whispers in Vallerie’s ear* Go splash Dark Pit.

Vallerie: *She wades through the water and weakly splashes Dark Pit* Sploosh Splash!

Dark Pit: *He smirks a bit, getting a bit wet from the splashes. He plays along and splashes back, holding back on the bigger splashes as she’s just a child.*

Vallerie: Yay! Sploosh!!!

Rose: *Sneaks up behind Dark pit and pushes him into the hot spring* Surprise!!!!

Vallerie: *She giggles* Hehehe, get splooshed!

Dark Pit: Woah! *He falls in, getting some of the water in his mouth. When he resurfaces, he gives Rose a mischievous smirk and pulls her in*

Rose: Ahhhh! *She pretends to flail causing waves to form in the water*

Vallerie: Noooo! Rose! *She climbs on top of Dark Pit to try to make him fall again* Splashy Pittoo!

Dark Pit: *To continue playing along, he pretends to fall in the water again*

Vallerie: Yay! I save Rose!

Rose: *Picks up Vallerie* Yes you did Vallerie. Good job

Dark Pit: *He once again resurfaces, lightly chuckling as he does* Fiesty Child

Vallerie: *Yawns* Tired. Vewy.

Rose: Well then let’s get you to bed. *Picks up Vallerie* Dark Pit will you let Palutena know that I’m putting Vallerie to a nap?

Dark Pit: Alright. *He gets out the hot spring and shakes his wings to dry them off a bit, heading off to Palutena*

RP Master Post

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

‘A World of Fragile Things’ Chapter 2: Long Lost Words Whisper Slowly to Me

Okay, so I’m putting a warning here that this chapter mentions an old Japanese urban legend that ends violently, just in case anyone wants to skip past the end of that part.  It is based on the Legend of Kuchisake-Onna, but I changed the circumstances of it to fit my KP universe. Also, does anyone know the band whose lyrics I’ve been using for the story title and chapter titles?

It was just a typical day; nothing special. Shego sighed at the thought of what her life has become. It seemed to be the same routine constantly now that she was living without the villainy. She didn’t regret turning back to side of do-gooders, but she didn’t particularly care for the humdrum of what constitutes a ‘normal life.’ She loved adventure, and while Drakken had adjusted too easily to such a life, Shego hoped he’d be up for switching things up a bit. It was just a boring, uneventful day up until she stepped inside the old lair.

Boxes. Were. Everywhere. The lair was so barren with all of their belongings packed away. For what reason, Shego hadn’t the slightest idea. Most of the furniture seemed to be gone too.

“Uh, Doctor D?” she called out, but no reply came forward. Her fingers skimmed the flaps of a box labeled Shego’s CDs. “Drew?” She raised her voice slightly.

“Hmm? Shego! You’re back!” he approached her, a little too enthusiastically, those ridiculous pink-lensed goggles strapped to his face. They always made his eyes comically large. She’d never say, but it never failed to make her laugh after a particularly grueling day.

“What’s with all the boxes?” Shego asked him impatiently.

“Oh”—he paused a moment—“we’re moving.”

“Say what, now?” This wasn’t the adventure Shego was looking for. They were perfectly fine living where they always have been.

“You didn’t expect us to live out the rest of our days in this dump of a lair did you?” Drakken asked, mulling over which things he should throw out or pack.

“Please tell me we’re not living in Go Tower.” Shego was still getting used to being part of the team again. Living with her brothers would be the last straw that sends her over the edge into insanity.

“Not a chance,” Drakken replied, tossing out an old ratty t-shirt. “I found us an apartment in Go City. It’s quite spacious, and surprisingly affordable.” Shego had to admit, she was impressed. He really seemed to have thought this all through. The only thing that annoyed her is that he did it all without even consulting her. After all, they’ll be living together like they have been for the last six, almost seven, years.

“As much as I appreciate your thoroughness of this whole idea, don’t you think you should’ve talked to me about this first? It’s not just your life you uprooted; it’s mine too.” Shego shook away the annoying voice in her head that told her to pick her battles, but she refused to listen. Drakken was partially in the wrong here, and it needed to be pointed out. Though she couldn’t understand why she was so upset over it. No, he didn’t consult her on this major decision, but he was still doing the right thing in her eyes.

“It was supposed to be a surprise; I can’t even begin to list the countless times you complained about not having a real place to live, so I took initiative,” Drakken explained. “Now I see that was probably the wrong way to go about it. I’ll consult you from now on. Scout’s honor.” He held up his fingers.

“Why do I have a hard time believing you were ever a boy scout?” Shego folded her arms, a look of amusement on her face.

“Because,” Drakken turned to her, “you’re a smart woman.”

And that was all it took. Shego felt warmth spread throughout her, her face flushed for the first time since she had turned her back on being good. She was blushing. The moment she realized it, she turned away so he couldn’t see, but the small smile on his face was enough to let her know he already had.

“I’ve got you in my sights now,” Kim muttered to herself. She waited for the perfect moment to strike. This took precision from her position. Ready, aim, fire. Kim launched the water balloon at Ron from where she sat among the tree branches, laughing so hard at his reaction, an embarrassing snort came from her nose.

“Oh I see how it’s gonna be,” Ron shouted up to her, fighting the smile that was so plainly on his face. Kim hooked her legs over the branch, swinging herself upside down to face him.

“So, what cha gonna do about it?” She smirked, ignoring the blood rushing to her head. He brushed his lips against hers, both caught up in the reverse Spiderman moment. “Truce?” Kim asked between kisses. A cold splash of water spread over her black tank top, and she opened her eyes to see Ron’s smug expression. Sitting right-side up on the branch once more, she hopped down effortlessly from the tree, facing her opponent. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” she told Ron, tugging him closer by the belt loop on his jeans.

“I think I’m luckier for other things,” he replied, tucking Kim’s copper hair behind her ear.

Kim’s face softened at his words. “That’s so sweet, Ron.”

“Oh,” he began, “you thought I was talking about you? I obviously meant it for all these homemade nacos.” He gestured toward the picnic table.

“Shut up,” Kim told him playfully, giggling as if they were in the honeymoon stage of their relationship once more.

“Kids! Burgers are done!” Mrs. Stoppable called out to them, a bright smile on her face. Just like Ann Possible, Andrea Stoppable had always hoped Kim and Ron would end up together. She even remembered a time that she joked with Ann about refusing to approve of any girl Ron brought home for her and her husband to meet, unless it was Kim, and they already knew her. He had dated Zita Flores for a short while, but they were never serious enough for that step. Seeing the two of them together always made her happy. They’ve been through a lot together to get where they are now. Call it mother’s intuition, but she had a feeling, deep inside, that the worst had yet to come.

He had watched and learned his surroundings in Middleton for a week now. The daily routine of the Stoppable family was a fairly simple one. Three-year old Hana would be an easy target. He needed her to begin his plan…and to complete it. Tonight will be the night he takes the girl under his wing. Little did he know, someone was watching from the trees in the Stoppables’ backyard. Fukushima leapt onto the roof, making his way to the girl’s room. Upon approaching it, the figure in the trees sprang into action, blocking his path.

“Ha! Yori,” he laughed. “I should have known you’d be here.”

“I won’t let you take little Han. To get to her, you’ll have to go through me,” she challenged him. He made the first move, attempting to knock her legs out from under her. Yori lunged at him, gripping his gi to try and swing him off the roof. They fought stealthily in the night, evenly matched in every way. Just when she thought she had the upper hand, Fukushima revealed the Lotus Blade. Though he was unable to command it, he used the hilt to hit Yori on the back of her head, knocking her out cold with a loud thump.

The sound must have been heard, because he saw a light from the house next door turn on. The face that appeared in the now-open window was that of Kim Possible.

“Hey!” Kim shouted up at him, grabbing her grappling hook. She hooked it around the Stoppables’ chimney, launching herself up to the roof, slamming her feet into his chest. The Lotus Blade slid off the tiles and onto the ground. Fukushima flipped onto his feet, fighting Kim so close to the edge of the roof, she slid, hanging by one arm grasping the gutter. He took this time to rush into the bedroom window of Hana Stoppable, emerging from the front door victoriously.

Dropping down onto the ground carefully, Kim attempted to carefully get Hana out of his arms. Neither wanted the girl to be hurt, making it nearly impossible to fight one another. Kim saw an opening, and took it. Hana was nearly in her reach when Fukushima blew a strange crackling powder onto her, rendering her immobile. She felt herself going into stasis, unable to even blink.

“Until next time, Possible,” he waved her off, escaping with Hana Stoppable. Ron’s little sister.

“KP!” Ron shouted, running out the door in only his pajama pants. Fukushima had taken Hana, and now Kim wasn't moving. Having brought his kimmunicator with him, he contacted Wade, who appeared on screen looking extremely sleepy. Upon seeing the panic on Ron’s face, he became wide awake all at once.

“Ron, what happened?”

“Kim’s not moving, or speaking,” Ron told him. She’s still breathing and her eyes are open, but that’s it.”

“Scan her with the kimmunicator so I can take a look at what may have caused this,” Wade spoke calmly. He analyzed the strange powdery substance that stuck to Kim’s clothes, but seemed to seep into her skin. Ron stroked Kim’s hair while waiting for the results. “It’s strange.”

“What? What is it?” Ron asked frantically. This had Fukushima written all over it. Just as the thought crossed his mind, Yori landed beside him, having finally come to.

“It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before,” Wade told him. “It walks the line between mad science and magic. I’ll contact you if I find anything.” Just like that, the screen went black.

“It’s a mixture born of science and old magic,” Yori explained. “I’ve only ever heard of such a weapon used in the War of Darkness.”

“The what now?” Ron questioned, lifting Kim up in his arms.

“Centuries after founding Yamanouchi, in the Heian period, Toshimiru, found himself on the battlefield once again, facing his one true enemy, Yakunan. The name itself means evil and misfortune.” Yori paused to give Ron a chance to bring Kim inside his house, laying her on the sofa.

“Centuries? How was he still alive?” Ron kept a hold of Kim’s hand as he and Yori settled on the floor.

“For all the good deeds he had done, Toshimiru, being the very first Monkey Master, was granted a sort of immortality. He would not live forever, but he would live for a thousand years. Yakunan wanted to take over the world, and there was a woman he wanted by his side while he did it. She trained at Yamanouchi, and was in love with Toshimiru, who thought her as the most beautiful woman in the village.”

Ron was captivated by the story, wondering how it all fit together. “I take it this woman was an important part of the war?”

“She was,” Yori confirmed. “You see, though the two warriors had been battling on and off throughout the years, it didn’t turn into a war until the woman, Kuchisake-Onna, came into their lives. Originally, she had been kidnapped by Yakunan to be his bride, but was rescued by Toshimiru, and was brought to Yamanouchi to train alongside him. They fell in love, which angered Yakunan enough to sneak into the school, and effectively slit her mouth so that she’d no longer be beautiful.”

“That’s…dark. What does this have to do with the weird magical powder?” he asked.

“Yakunan used the powder to put her in stasis. It is because of that event that the War of Darkness began. The quest to take over the world was thwarted by Toshimiru, but he could not save his love, for he had no antidote. She remains in stasis, even now, buried deep within a temple. It’s only temporary as long as you have an antidote for it, but I do not have the means to make one. We would need the help of a mad scientist.”

“I happen to know just the mad scientist to help us,” Ron told her. “Stay with Kim; there’s a certain doctor I need to visit.”

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