#it’s like less than a mcdonalds combo to put it in perspective

[roaringroa]

wish my friend would allow me to pay for his stuff sometimes :((

[rekas-writes]

Valorant Agents and Their Fast Food Sins

Pair: Implied! Individual Agent (Neon, Killjoy, Raze, Jett, Chamber, Harbor, Sage, Reyna, Viper, Phoenix, Yoru)/GN! Reader - more so Individual HCs Source: Valorant

Type: Headcanons/Bulletpoints - 652 words Genre: Comedy/Fluff/Crack Perspective: Second-Person (You/Your)

TW: None

A/N: Hi! It's been a while! I hope you've had a wonderful New Year and a fantastic winter holiday/winter in general, my lovely customers! I'll be wrapping up some orders before diving back into my October series! ❤️

Further A/N: It was my birthday on the 31st December and I've just come back from the Philippines. I was dealing with a couple things but I'm hoping to get back into writing! This was just a fun, little thing I thought of while out in London. There was a Wendy's and a Taco Bell and those things are hard to come by here in the UK, haha- and so naturally it evolved into fast food habits nobody asked for.

Of course if you do any of these combos, more power to you! This is all in jest and I just wanted to write a light-hearted comedy/joke piece :D

. . . . . ╰──╮꒰ 🍡 ꒱ ╭──╯ . . . . .

Neon: Cuts a donut in half and then sandwiches her McDonald's apple pie with it. It helps with her sweet tooth and she swears it's the perfect dessert combo. Will also make you one in an effort to get you to appreciate this sugary goodness as much as she does. She might also wink and say it's not as sweet as you... and then cover her face with a hand because she can't believe she just said that

Killjoy: Puts chicken nuggets in her chicken sandwich and if you tell her that's too much chicken for the bread to filling ratio, she'll just add more out of amusement. If you encourage her? She'll get you to help her put as much chicken as possible in there

Raze: Mixes all the sauces together. All of them. And then she will ask you to grab more sauces/your leftover sauces. Sauces are boring on their own apparently. If you ever raise an eyebrow at that, she'll just shrug and tell you not to bash it ‘till you try it. Somehow it doesn't taste bad at all

Jett: Puts chicken nuggets and other random fillings from different fast food joints on pizza and then folds it like a calzone. Has and will defend this to the end of time. If you ask her why she doesn't just make her own custom pizza/calzone, she says it doesn't taste the same

Chamber: Puts onion rings and fries in his burger. It's not really a sin, but he genuinely thinks this is a weird combination/thing to do so he never does it in front of people. He'll wait for you to go to the bathroom or something, and then add them in. Might steal your onion rings and/or fries too while you're gone. I'll cut him some slack, only because he doesn't really eat enough fast food to know the common food 'hacks'.

Harbor: Eats the fillet-o-fish and a random other burger/sandwich combined. If you give him a look, he will take another bite slowly and chew obnoxiously with a smug look. He does the exaggerated "mmm" too and closes his eyes just to hear you laugh and roll your eyes

Sage: Likes the good ol' fries in the milkshake and pineapple on pizza. She really likes the salty-sweet combos and has more of a sweet tooth than she'd like to admit. She also thinks the fruit/shakes help(s) make fast food feel less greasy

Reyna: Uses human blood as ketchup She mixes coffee and soda together to feel something. You don't even question her, mostly because she refuses to explain herself and doesn't feel the need to. She'll just shrug, smile and then offer you a taste- saying it's like devouring a soul. It tastes like battery acid

Viper: Doesn’t commit food sins but she did try to poison someone’s fast food. She just wanted to test out a weaker poison she had on hand, and decided her target would be that one person who wouldn't take a hint and leave you alone. Never leave your food unattended around her, especially if you're going to blatantly annoy her S/O.

Phoenix: Puts popcorn chicken in his munchkin donuts. He claims to be a food connoisseur every time you question it, and that it'll catch on as a food trend one day. You tried it once and didn't know how to feel about the fact you didn't hate it. He gets really excited every time he gets this particular combo and you can't help but smile at his childlike giddiness

Yoru: Probably puts salt in his cheap coffee, it tastes awful but he does it anyway- maybe out of spite. He got the salt from the tears of his enemies. He never stopped to consider that just because he could, maybe he shouldn't. You don't say anything because the last time you did, he drank it faster and then got another