#it's *serious* otp level when i create multiple tags

[mrsreginagold]

Fic: Fill The Spaces Inside Of My Heart

Fandom: Nikita 

Pairing: Ari Tasarov x Nikita Mears (Nikari)

Rating: R

Spoilers: Canonically refers to events in 3 x 12 but diverges drastically. Nikita is also not engaged to Michael. 

Summary: Nikita has been avoiding Division’s latest guest, though whether it’s because of her own guilt or a different emotion entirely is something she can’t quite figure out. 

Author's Note: We Go Down Together by Dove Cameron and Khalid is essentially their theme song, particularly in season 3. Tragic, doomed by narrative OTPs have long been a problem of mine, but at the very least I attempt to fix things for them when canon doesn't comply.

On AO3

Fill The Spaces Inside of My Heart

                  It was arguably the rarest of circumstances for Nikita Mears to overthink her actions. Part of what made her so excellent at survival was her ability to perform quick judgements while under pressure. 

                  And yet – there she was, standing, frozen, hand raised to knock at Ari Tasarov’s door, and completely uncertain of how to proceed. 

                  The former head of Gogol had been in Division’s custody for roughly two weeks. In that time, he proved useful in gathering intelligence for missions, but remained at their headquarters while his wounds healed. 

                  Injuries, as it happened, that Nikita bestowed upon him. 

                  She was sure that the overwhelming guilt regarding how severely she had treated him would pass, but his proximity also resulted in something unexpected. 

                  From the moment that the pair met, there was an undeniable simmering attraction between them. However, Nikita had never taken the time to dwell on it. Now, with Ari around consistently, she found herself distracted by him more often than not. 

                  It did not help that the man was frustratingly handsome, but what really disarmed her was the intensity in his gaze when it was directed at her. 

                  She feared that if she stared too long into that ocean of clear blue – she would inevitably drown one day. 

                  It was often difficult to form coherent words while in his presence, and though she’d rehearsed her apology about ten times over in her mind, it was of no use. She was entirely at a loss as to what to do or say. 

                  She was also so lost in her own reverie that she didn’t notice she was no longer alone till a strong hand landed on her shoulder. 

                  “What are you doing here, Nikita?”

                  Her response was a startled shriek while she pivoted around to find herself face-to-face with Ari. 

                  He blinked several times, surprised by her reaction. “Perhaps you should lay off the caffeine my dear.”

                  One hand flew up to her chest, her breathing erratic at the unintended jump-scare. “Or maybe you shouldn’t sneak up on someone who knows over a hundred ways to kill you!”

                  His lips twitched in amusement, and he crossed his arms over his chest before replying. “A fair point. However, it doesn’t answer my question: what are you doing here?”

                  “I…” cohesive thoughts rapidly deteriorated once the shock subsided and she got a better look at him. “Did you go for a swim?”

                  His short, dark hair was damp, with errant strands swept to one side and falling across his angular features rakishly. There was still moisture evident on the skin revealed by the vee in his white tee-shirt, which clung to the surprisingly sculpted planes of his torso in a manner that left little to the imagination. This was paired with black sweats, while his feet were bare. 

                  “I had a quick shower,” he explained, concern crossing his face over how intently she was staring. “Are you okay?” 

                  “Y-Yeah,” she stammered, bringing her gaze back to his. “I’m just not used to seeing you wearing something like that. I figured you wouldn’t touch anything that wasn’t Armani.”

                  “Right now, I don’t exactly have a choice,” he chuckled. “And I highly doubt anyone would appreciate it if I wandered around naked.”

                  Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure, she thought, idly, and then flushed at the lustful turn her musings had taken. “Right. That would be a bad idea.”

                  “And cold,” he teased, taking a step forward. “But I doubt that you came all this way to chat about the finer details of fashion. What’s on your mind?”

                  She inhaled sharply, trying to calm the butterflies that had begun to flutter around her stomach. “Actually, I came to apologize.”

                  His brow furrowed. “Apologize? Whatever for?”

                  “What for? I hurt you. Repeatedly. It took a week for the swelling to go down! I nearly cut off your hand! Take your pick!!!”

                  He moved closer, seemingly undaunted by her outburst. “Nikita, you were doing what you were trained for. You don’t need to apologize for what’s essentially your job.”

                  There were sole inches between them now, and her heart rate picked up as she trailed her gaze over his mostly healed face. The cut on his left cheekbone had yet to disappear entirely, and the bruise was still fading on his right eye, but other than that: there was no evidence of how badly she had beaten him. 

                  Unable to resist, Nikita reached out and delicately traced along his jawline. “I’m so, so sorry…” she whispered. “I should have given you the benefit of the doubt and instead I lost control.”

                  His hand caught hers, stalling the motion. “It’s all right. If what you need is my forgiveness, you have it.”

                  Relief flooded her senses and without a second thought, she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips lightly to his cheek, murmuring her gratitude when she pulled back slowly. 

                  Those stunning eyes of his searched hers immediately after the impromptu affection, the air between them becoming charged with emotion. 

                  “Why did you really come all this way, so late at night, Nikita?” He queried.

                  She drew in a shaky breath and then answered, honestly. “You. I wanted to see you.”

                  It was evident that this was the response he had been waiting for, as his next action was to gather her into his arms for an appreciative, passion-filled kiss. 

                  The world around them shattered as they gave in to the embrace, Nikita draping her arms over Ari’s shoulders, a delighted squeal escaping when he abruptly lifted her up and carried her the short distance to his temporary quarters.

                  There was a tell-tale click as the door shut behind them, offering complete privacy. 

                  Her pulse jumped considerably when his mouth strayed from hers to gain purchase on her throat, her head falling back to grant him better access. 

                  He nipped teasingly at her clavicle and then slipped the cardigan she wore down her arms, leaving her in a simple black camisole. 

                  Goosebumps erupted due to the cool air and the contact of his elegant fingers while they travelled along her back, eventually sliding under the silk to trace over bare skin. 

                  She mumbled something incoherently against his lips, finally parting for air to communicate what she wanted with an insistent tug at his shirt. 

                  It was peeled up over his head rapidly, her hands eagerly discovering the beautifully toned chest and stomach now exposed to her touch. 

                  She yanked him close for another fervent kiss, the pair toppling onto the bed in the corner of the room. 

                  Clothing quickly formed a pile on the floor, naked limbs entwining once there were no more barriers, and they sank together into a welcome nest of blankets. 

                  Ari proved a very giving lover, pressing lingering kisses to every inch of Nikita’s skin and dedicating time to areas that proved more sensitive. 

                  She raked her nails through the hair on his chest and hooked one leg over his before twisting and bearing him beneath her, amused when an astonished look crossed his face due to her actions.

                  “I told you I was here to apologize,” she tilted her head, a playful smile crossing her lips while she straddled him. 

                  “I think this goes above and beyond an apology,” he eyed her, hunger evident in the sea-colored depths of his gaze while one hand slowly inched up her stomach until he could thumb along the underside of her breast. 

                  She shivered, her nerve endings exploding into overdrive from the slightest brush of his fingers. “Or maybe I’m just being thorough.”

                  “I’m not minding,” he admitted, sitting up just enough to follow the path he had created with his lips instead. 

                  Coherent thoughts drifted away instantly when he purposely lavished devotion to sensitized skin. She coiled her legs around his waist as they settled into a sitting position instead, exchanging a meaningful look before joining together with a fluid thrust. 

                  They continued this way – as equals – exchanging romantic kisses while they found a perfect symmetry of movement. 

                  She clawed at his back hard enough to leave marks when their motions began to lose grace, which he took as a signal to gently recline her beneath him.

                  They reached completion not long after. 

                  “How many recruits do you think have engaged in this exact scenario?” Ari’s tone was thoughtful as he stroked idly over the curve of Nikita’s hip. 

                  They had resituated to face one another, a tangle of sweat-streaked skin and rumpled blankets, basking in the afterglow from multiple rounds of love making. 

                  She reached out and traced an invisible pattern across his chest. “Given the average age tends to be in the late teens, I’d say most if not all?”

                  He chuckled, low and incredibly attractive, filling her to the brim with want all over again. “I can’t say that I’m surprised.”

                  She sighed, stretched lazily, and then curled further into his arms. “Neither am I, though I don’t envy anyone on sanitation duty.”

                  There was a huff of laughter before his lips grazed her forehead. “Any port in a storm, as they say. At least these beds are more comfortable than the ones at Gogol…or whatever prison awaits me.”

                  Reality came crashing back as she remembered their situation – and the fact that she was partly responsible for it.

                  Nikita peered up at her lover, noting the serious expression on his face. Her heart clenched. “Ari…”

                  “It’s all right Nikita,” he threaded his fingers through her tousled hair, risking a nuzzle before whispering: “There’s much I still have to atone for.”

                  “Maybe you can do that here. I could talk to Ryan, ask if there was another option.”

                  His eyes widened at the sincerity in her voice. “Is that even possible? I don’t blame anyone here for wanting to shoot me on sight.”

                  “Division isn’t the same now. I have more sway. Ryan is much fairer than Percy or Amanda without even trying.” She crawled half-way on top of him and looked intently into his eyes. “Ari, please let me help you.”

                  The silence stretched between them for a long moment as he searched her gaze. 

                  She found herself holding her breath in anticipation for his answer. 

                  Slowly, a tender smile was directed her way and he swept her into a loving kiss.

                  “Is that a yes?” she mumbled.

                  “There’s nothing I’d love more than to remain here with you.”

                  Judging by how eagerly she returned his affection – it was clear that she wished for the same thing, and to remain exactly where she belonged. Namely, with him. 

                 

 The End 

[allisonilluminated]

The Seven Sins of Fanfiction

Hey all,

This blog is primarily focused on helping newer writers (and maybe some older ones) improve their fanfiction and increase their views.  Since that’s the case, it’s important to understand exactly what not to do when you’re writing.

These are the worst things you can do while you’re writing.  I can guarantee everyone reading this post has done at least three of them, and probably all in some shape of form.  This is the sort of thing that makes you want to click away immediately, that you cringe at when it’s in the first paragraph or laugh at how bad it is.  These things that make you stop reading other stories, just think about it for a moment.  What if fewer people are reading your own work because you’re making the same mistakes?

Yeah.  If you want to improve, you gotta know what you’re doing wrong.  Number Seven is the least worst, then the list descends to Number One, the worst thing you can do in fanfiction.

Note: This is a subjective list.  There are people who disagree with some of these points (especially the non-grammar ones), so it’s important to remember that these are the things I find most degrading to the quality of the story being written.  As a writer, you have the creative liberty to write whatever you want.

#7 – Bad Romance

“Wo-o-o-o-o, o-o-o-o, o-o-ah, caught in a bad romance fanfiction but it’s the only 100k fic for my OTP so I’m like contractually obligated to read it.” - Lady Gaga, mostly

We’ve all been here.  You know that moment when two characters meet, then suddenly decide to kiss, and the next thing you know they’re screwing on the patio with some kinky ass BDSM shit.  What about those cringe fics where suddenly Harry is spouting some creepy possessive stuff like “my only” or “softest light of my life” to twelve year old Ginny.  You know what I’m talking about.

Good romance is an art.  It’s about flawed characters (later) coming together in a beautifully intimate way (later) to make something even more beautiful.  There is so much bad romance on FFN and AO3 that it just blows my mind.

Giving tips would take an entire post, so here’s a good article on the absolute basics you need to write a good romance: https://www.nownovel.com/blog/romance-writing-mistakes/

#6 – Bad Dialogue Tags

“No!” he howled.

“Yes,” she growled angrily.

She retorted snarkily, “Well, screw you.”

“Fuck you too,” he scowled sadly, before gratingly mumbling “I still love you though.”

Alternatively:

“No!” “Yes.”  “Well, screw you.”  “Fuck you too.  I still love you though.”

There’s a glorious word in this social construct we call English, and it’s “said.”  Use it.

You don’t need a fancy word for every tag.  You don’t need a fancy word for almost all tags.  Eighty percent of your tags should be said, exclaimed, and asked, and more of said than the others.  Maybe a whispered or a yelled for some flavor.

Adverbs are your enemies.  I struggle with this, but you should use them extremely sparingly.

On the flipside, if your reader doesn’t know who’s talking, your dialogue is meaningless to them.  Also, use line breaks every time there is a new speaker.

The trick is finding some happy medium between the two examples.  A handful of fancy tags, a lot of said, and if there are two people talking back and forth you don’t even need to tag every sentence.

#5 – Bad Messaging

I don’t want to put down an example for this one, because I think writers feel liberated to write some really awful shit in fanfiction because it’s “not a serious medium” or “it’s the internet, I have free speech.”  Let me say this right now:

Stories that make rape a positive thing are not okay.  Stories that portray suicide in a glorified light are not okay.  Stories that show slavery, or torture, or all of the other horrendous things human beings do to each other in a romanticized or glorified manner are not okay.

I don’t care if it’s your fetish.  I don’t care, it’s just not okay to write about these things in a positive light.  The only reason this is so high on this list is because these stories aren’t as common as the rest, and are mostly marked M/Explicit so you can avoid them.

#4 – Overdescription

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). [[I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow – My Immortal

Oh boy.

Writers, let me introduce you to this wonderful thing called your profile.  Assuming you aren’t drowning in copypastas, this is the perfect place for your character descriptions.  Alternatively, have you heard of Tumblr? Literally, stick them anywhere except the middle of your story, and I can guarantee you the readers that actually care will find them if you mention them in your A/N.

Show, don’t tell is one of the fundamental principles of writing. When you’re describing a character, you probably don’t need more than three adjectives and a one sentence description of their outfit. Yes, that applies even if your character has a special non canon outfit.  If we must know, work the details into the story. Info-dumping description is telling, and is one of the worst world building and characterization mistakes you can make.  Period.

#3 – Epithets

The blond girl walked to the door, and started as a burly man opened it.  “May I help you?”

“Yes, I’m here to get a consultation,” the graying businessman said as he ran a hand through his oily hair.

The youthful therapist nodded as she shut the door behind him. Rummaging on her desk, she asked, “Why are you here?”

“Well,” said the jaded economist to the buxom woman.  “This author thinks they’re being clever by not giving out names, but they’re ruining this story.”

The best way to get someone to leave your story is epithets.  

Epithets do not create mystery.  Epithets are not a good substitute for proper nouns.  Epithets will not make a clever opening, or add variety to your dialogue.

Epithets will ruin your story, and should not be used.

They come in varying degrees of horror.

The noun.  You might be able to get away with saying just “the woman” or “the child” under certain circumstances. This is almost an excusable offence.

The noun with one adjective.  This is already unacceptable. If you though you were going to solve Sin #4 by doing this, you’re digging yourself an even deeper hole.

The noun with one modified adjective.  Because they can’t just be sexy, they have to be shockingly sexy.

The noun with multiple adjectives.  This is automatically overdescription on top of being a horrible thing to subject another person to.

The noun followed by a relative clause.  Because there’s always a way to make it worse.  “The girl who was now holding his hand” is absolutely disgusting, and so is “The girl that was sitting across from her” or especially “the girl she knew had a chocolate bar somewhere in her pocket.

The noun followed by a relative clause with adjectives.  Put it together and what have you got?

Compound Epithets.  Oh. My.  God.  This deserves its own sin.  Even if your character has blue hair, you should never ever ever call them a bluenette.  Ever.  Ever ever ever. AAAAAAAAH!

The author has made her point.

#2 – Bad Grammar

I find bad grammar extremely agitating, mostly because there are a lot of great tools and easy fixes to solve the problems.  Most word processors have a built in spell checker, and a lot of them check for grammar as well.  If you need an alternative, grammarly.com has a good free version that’ll catch a lot of mistakes.  Of course, proofreading your work before posting is always a great idea.  Here’s a quick list of some of the most common grammar issues you should be on the lookout for:

A new paragraph for a new idea.

A new paragraph for a new speaker.

Dialogue formatting

Periods

Commas

Run on sentences

Using line breaks

Spelling

Capitalizing starts of sentences

Capitalizing proper nouns

Choosing CONSISTENT capitalization for canon terms (Pokemon vs pokemon, for example)

Repeated words.

Sentence fragments

Tense

#1 – Bad Characterization

“What?” you’re probably asking yourself right now.  “How is bad characterization possibly worse than poor grammar?  Than epithets?”

Allow me to explain.

When an author writes a story, a good story, they are creating characters who act like people.  They have wants, needs, hates, motives, and a concept of who they are, even if they’re only fictional.  The author gives them life, spirit, a spark that keeps you reading and wanting to learn more about them.

That sense of identity is what makes them real to us.  Why you binge a show on Netflix, or read a novel in one night.  Reading is a connection with these characters on a deeper level than you might realize, and this connection brings them to life.

Take that away, and your story is dead.

Your gray OOC Gary Stu overpowered Ravenclaw Harry who grew up with Snape and has a goblin half brother AU is not a story about Harry Potter.  It’s a story about an OC named Harry Potter, and Harry loses any integrity he had as a character in Rowling’s books.

That’s why there are fics with horrible grammar and massive following, alongside fics with incredible grammar and sentence construction but no followings.  Unless you maintain a basic level of your character’s identity, the essence of what makes them empathetic, you’re not writing about that character.  This is the worst sin, because even with all of the others in play, if there is good characterization you can still create an incredible story.

Just by fixing these seven problems, your fic can instantly jump from bad/meh to incredible in the way people perceive it.  Hopefully this list can help you determine things to either go back and revise or work on for future chapters.  When have you committed one of the seven sins?  What other sins do people make all the time in their writings?

Thank you to all of the amazing people who have followed, Allie

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