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writingsbychlo · 4 years

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put her together again (03)

word count; 6472

summary; after you’re making steady progress, mitch takes you on a trip to jog your memory, and you have quite the reaction to it.

notes; this is a really emotionally intense chapter, so take it easy. I cried while writing it AND while proof reading it.

wrnings; mentions of gore, murder, underage drinking, child abduction, breaking and entering, abuse, criminal activity, and child abuse.

The name revelation had been a snowball, one that had continued to roll and tumble until it had become a crushing avalanche of success and progress within your mind and personality.

You were making big and little breakthroughs within yourself, sometimes it was a sudden realisation about what your favourite colour was, and sometimes it was bigger. Sometimes memories came filtering through - good and bad - and he’d come to learn the tells of what each one consisted of. You’d taken to writing them down or drawing them, your doodle pad becoming more like a journal now, and you shared more with him. On the happier days when the memories you were able to now recognise as ‘good’ came through, memories of times on assignments when you’d soak up the sun, or a butterfly would land on your arm, you would tell him all about them, describing in in vivid detail as you relived every moment with him, and made sure to give so much detail he felt like he was sitting there himself.

Sometimes, on the days when something came to the surface that now made you shiver, it would have a different effect. Those were the quieter days, the days when he’d make you a hot cup of tea and give you a tablet for something herbal to soothe your anxiety, and would choose to sit beside you on the couch instead of working in his office, reading a book as he waited for you to be ready to talk about it. Sometimes, those days took a physical toll on you, you wouldn't eat or move, and there had been multiple times when he’d had to hold your hair back as your body was racked from head to toe as you emptied your stomach into the toilet bowl while shock and horror washed over to you.

The progress you were making was incredible, but not all the emotions you were finally tapping into were something to be celebrated, it was just something that had to be done.

The cold and emotionless version of you was something that was rapidly slipping away, and he could barely even compare you to the person you’d been when he’d first taken you in so many months ago. The way your face had been permanently stoic and lifeless was something he could barely picture now, you were never without some kind of expression, a lot of which made him laugh, or made his own chest blossom with warmth when you did. It was hard not to, watching you come into yourself, your smile was contagious, enough to light up the room when you’d knock on the office door with a wide grin and another story to tell him, or a joke you’d read in a book that you wanted or share, and the way he’d have to suppress his laughter as he watched your face change when you read.

You weren’t even aware you did it, your face flicking between joy, despair, judgement, horror, shock, with every word you read, letting yourself get immersed in the words that created a new world for you, and sometimes it was enough to distract him from his own work, simply to watch you.

In the first few weeks after you’d realised what your name was, he’d caught you mumbling it to yourself as you went around, written on the back of your hand, or on every page of your notebook as you tried to familiarise yourself with it. You did your best, and he felt like his heart had both broken and been strengthened as he found the open page of your name written, scribbled and scrawled in different handwritings, colours and types of writing tool as you tried to work out how you best associated with your own name.

You spoke it on a loop and left it written everywhere you could as you began to grow more comfortable with it, but after a month had passed, you had seemed to begin to find a connection within it. He did everything he could to help, making sure to say your name to you as much as he could, to reinforce it in your mind, and he had felt himself light up like the fourth of July the first time you’d said his name too.

You had said it so simply, a false argument that two of you had been having about a book you’d read and whether or not you agreed with the choices taken, and after you’d made a valid point, he’d used his foot to nudge the book out of your hand from where he sat at the opposite end of the couch, stretched out across it. You’d chastised him by using his name, laughing under your breath as you found the item under the coffee table and flicked through it to find the page, having not marked it before losing it at his shove.

Sometimes, you still messed up, when you were particularly tired or you’d had a nightmare, you’d slipped back into accidentally referring to yourself as unit eight in the mornings, a somber feeling following you around for hours until you snapped out of it, often with his help, when you watched a movie and had a hot drink to soothe you, or listened to the music he’d begun to introduce you to.

It was a long road, one that the pair of you were struggling with together, and every day you seemed to be gaining miles, faster and faster. What had once been like a dam - tightly locked and making sure to allow only enough in and out to hold strong and survive - was now beginning to crack. Water was dripping through, little by little as the break widened and pebbles fell away, and as each little piece fell away from the barrier it was expanding more and more, gaining ground faster with each progression. One day it would burst entirely, there would be nothing left to hold you back, because the concrete would crumble away to let everything beautiful within you that was locked up so tight be allowed to roam free, instead.

Upon coming into yourself, though, had brought several troubles for him. The first of which was your curiosity, he no longer had to guide you in finding hobbies and telling you what to do, but instead, you were all but bouncing off of the walls while locked inside, desperate to get around to your weekly walks at night when there were fewer people on the streets and less of a risk to you, and so they had become more and more frequent, the two of you venturing out almost every other night, now.

With your arm linked through his as you strolled along, wrapped up in one of his coats that was too big for you and some sweats, he was certain that the two of you had walked every possible route around the neighbour over fifty times now, and that had led him to another issue. You wanted to explore, you wanted more, the searching on the laptop did no good, because you’d seen so many aspects of the world on the job, so much more than he had even, but you’d never experienced it.

You wanted to see the world, but you weren’t ready to be a part of it yet.

You were a killer, a trained mercenary, you knew more languages than he did, and you could use a spoon to kill him in more ways than he could kill someone with a gun, you knew the entire periodic chart by heart and you could do a backflip on the spot - something which the two of you had spent upwards of a week trying to teach him how to do, and failing. He couldn't contain the overwhelming sense of pity he had for you, though, because while you were such an incredible person with limitless talents and skills, you had absolutely no idea how to do basic things like set off a dishwasher or put through a load of laundry.

On a day when he’d been trying to assess your skills, you’d taken him down ten times in a row at sparring without even breaking a sweat, but he’d found you crying in the laundry room as you tried to figure out what all the buttons and symbols meant, and so his latest hobby had been teaching you the things that mother’s taught their kids from youth.

His investigation into your past hadn't ceased either, he would work with every fragment of memory you gave him and every tiny detail he could pick up from a story you told him, never wanting to push and risk upsetting you, or having you close back in on yourself.

You were becoming a seamless part of his life, taking you to the store and watching you sniff at shampoos and laundry detergents, or debate the health benefits of certain vegetables over others was something that he was too quickly becoming used to, and wandering around the library and holding your stacks of books for you while you chose a new week’s worth of reading was beginning to become the highlight of his Saturday nights.

The domesticity of it all was overwhelming, never in his life had he held this kind of life in the palm of his hands, a happy little setting that was nothing but serenity and peace when he was home. The old him used to go to pubs and bars, Katrina in a cute little dress on his arm as he wore tight skinny jeans and spent more money on drinks at clubs and hockey games than he did on rent. Half of his existence was hangovers and headaches, from booze or college textbooks, and he was looking a long and dull but successful office career in the eye, his sporting being something he’d keep up as a hobby until work hours got longer and he got that promotion that ‘everybody wanted’ and ‘it was a real honour, everyone was fighting for it’ and so he’d spend more time behind his desk instead of at home, gain a little weight, fuck his secretary when Katrina started to make eyes at the gardener instead, because he was still young and hot.

It was someone he wasn’t, he’d never seen himself before this as being the guy who was happy to read books quietly with his girl when her feet were in his lap or toes poking at his thigh like you did on a bold day, or cook recipes from a book you’d picked up as one of this week’s editions, the two of you trialing different meals from all over the world, because you couldn’t actually go there to get them.

With the more expanding into society you’d done, the more he’d invested in you, no longer being able to wrap you up in his own clothes as much, especially not with the looks the two of you received when you were in public places, and so he was left to buy you clothes. He didn’t know much, likes sizes or measurements, but he tried his best, and so with heated cheeks and a scowl, he’d pushed some bags into your hands after returning home from a midday excursion.

Leggings, sports bras, simple cotton panties, and a fair amount of pyjamas, because those were your favourites. He went for the basics, leaving you to roam around in his hoodies and shirts, but it was an improvement, to say the least, making you look a little less like you were still a project, and more like you were finding your place in a society you didn’t understand and had never been a part of. You’d managed to dig up a packet of hair elastics he’d had from his time when he had longer hair and couldn’t be bothered to cut it, and so you’d begun to style it like you read in books or saw in movies, ponytails and braids and buns.

Slowly but surely, everything about you was becoming less robotic and more unique, and he was simply along to watch you bloom like a flower in the sun, now.

“Do you want to go out somewhere today?”

“Somewhere like the library? Because we only went a few days ago, and we still have lots of food in the fridge.” You glanced up at him as he leant on the door for the kitchen, and Mitch couldn't help the grin that took over his face as you looked at him curiously, twirling a pencil between your fingers in patterns that confused him and yet you seemingly didn’t even know you were doing it, and the wondering as to whether you could do that with something like a knife flitted across his mind, but he shook it free. “Anyway, it’s only eight minutes past two, it won’t be dark for at least five hours yet.”

“I was thinking we could switch up the routine today.” You raised your brows at him, lips pursed as your eyes flicked over to the paper stuck up on the fridge, and he pushed himself up from the framing to take the seat across from you instead. “You mind that?”

You let out a dramatic sigh, pouting a little as you placed the pencil back into the case before you and zipping it up. “I suppose for you an exception could be made.”

“Wow, don’t I just feel honoured?” He grinned, watching as you giggled a little bit, before pushing your chair out, excitement taking over as you came to stand beside him, rolling on the balls of your feet a little bit.

“We’re going out now? During the day?”

“Yes we are.”

What was almost a squeal left your lips as you nodded your head, hands clenching and unclenching from fists as your gaze faded away from his. “I’m gonna’ wear the black jeans!”

You were gone from his view before he could say anything else, dashing away towards your room and clicking the door shut as you left in a whirlwind of coloured pencils and fluffy socks that you’d dug out of his drawer, and he scooped up all the papers to tidy them away, placing the glass you’d been drinking from into the sink and getting rid of them.

He had been researching, using every bit of information that he’d heard from you to build a case, trying to find out who you were to try and help you expand on the life you’d lost, everything that you’d forgotten or been forced to suppress. How many girls at about age three could go missing with your name, from a state he was certain he’d hear you mumble in your sleep, from a house that matched all the pictures you drew?

Three-hundred and twenty-two. That’s how many.

But only eighteen of them had been cases that were still open or never solved, and only one of them had the mysterious circumstances that would match you, and was exactly what he was looking for. He was confident in the decision, in his own sleuthing, and so the decision he had been pulling over for the past few days on whether or not it was actually a good decision, had taken over this morning. It was like a band-aid, it just had to be ripped off, but it was a lead on who you were supposed to be, not who they forced you to be, so he was willing to take it.

Luckily for him, and you, by some kind of blessing, it wasn’t actually that far away, only one state over, a few hours driving at the max, and so like some kind of emotional therapy or purge, you’d be able to go to the place you once lived, and find a piece of yourself. If his detective work had been accurate, that was.

It hadn't taken you long to change. You were flying out of the room excitedly while pulling up your hair to secure it back as your laces were still undone, waiting eagerly as he put on his own shoes and jacket, taking a little longer to pat down his pockets and find his keys just to tease you, as you hovered in the doorway, anticipating the journey out into broad daylight that you’d be venturing into. Everything seemed different to you in the daylight, he could tell, from the was you took anxious steps, buzzing slightly as the two of you chose to take the stairs instead, avoiding the security camera and the busy people shifting from different floors in the elevator, still trying to keep you as safe and secreted as possible.

He’d parked the car close to the building on the last journey, and so it was barely a walk to get to it, blacked out windows hiding your identity much better now that you were venturing out into the light. He had already programmed the location into the SatNav in his car, only a few hours away to be taken to, and you settled into the seat, reading the back of the latest CD he had, and mumbling about getting a burger on the way there if it was far away, before the journey was beginning, and Mitch was doing his best to push down his anxiety.

The house was still just as it had been left, a little unkempt and the garden overgrown, the cobblestones leading up to the front door had become unstable with some missing and some just out of place. The weeds had taken over, mud and grass with thistles that had overruled it all, everything trampled down by kids who had wandered over the area. One of the windows had broken and there was graffiti along the walls, the front door kicked in and there were marks around the frame where repairs had been made, new locks and wood being put on, but it had only continued to happen.

It had never been repurchased, it was a little town that the two of you had pulled up in, and you’d gone silent from all the chattering you’d done on the way over as you stared up at the building, unaware of the neighbours eyes peering on at the two of you as you sat in the large sleek vehicle. Rumours had spread quickly, he’d barely had to dig into your history before articles and news about your family were popping up, rumours about the things your parents had been involved in before tragedy had struck and the littlest member of the family had gone missing, a cold case that was never solved.

Beer cans and burnt ashes were in the garden, but there was no movement inside currently, and so releasing the lip from between his teeth from where he’d been nibbling, Mitch rounded the car, opening the door for you and giving you the most reassuring smile he could as your gaze left the house to find his, and you stepped out of the car to stand beside him. You didn’t question him, or yell at him, but you lingered by his side, your shoulder brushing his for comfort as you shoved your hands into the front pocket of your hoodie, and followed him up the pathway when he took the first step.

You paused by his side halfway up the garden, looking around anxiously, and that same blank look that he hadn't seen for months was back, and suddenly, the weight of the moment came crashing down onto him as he realised the weight of the mistake he must’ve made. The panic that he’d triggered something bad within you was crushing, that you might close back in on yourself and freak out, that this act may have been your entire undoing.

Then, he was able to process the look on your face. It was recognition. You knew where you were, you knew what it was you were looking at. The blank look wasn’t you closing in on yourself, it was you protecting yourself, and he closed the distance between you both with a few quick strides, tipping your chin up towards him before placing a comforting hand on your shoulder and squeezing, fixing you with a look of questioning and security as he waited to know whatever you were okay.

“I think I used to have a pink bicycle.” You looked over his shoulder, glancing along the broken pathway as you traced your gaze across the garden. “It had training wheels that lit up in all different colours.”

He could see it now, the fear in your eyes, and it was an emotion he'd never seen on you before. You were scared, but the cogs were turning in your head as the final part of you clicked into place, finding your roots and being reunited with your home, a shaky breath leaving you, before your eyes were searching to catch his own once again, and you gave him a weak smile, but he was sure it was the strongest you’d been able to muster.

“Can we go inside?”

“Are you sure you can handle that?”

You hesitated in giving him your answer, but there was determination washing over the fear, and you nodded, pursed lips and slightly trembling shoulders, but he could tell you were absolutely adamant in your decision. You were moving before he was, taking quick and steady steps up the front porch, and lingering by the front door, waiting for him to catch up, peering through the glass and past the ripped and yellowing fabric, that was covering the slip of glass, only an outline of the interior revealed to you.

A simple nudge of his foot was enough for the door to swing open, the wood creaking under the strain on its hinges as it wobbled a little, scraping the wood flooring in motions that were clearly ingrained from a lot of breaking and entering. He lingered back, letting you take the first step, and it was like walking into a piece of your history, he didn’t want to invade, so he gave you your time to observe the place.

It was a little torn up, massacred from the graffiti and break-ins, smashed glass and covered with damp and mold, peeling wallpaper that had yellowed and snapped or broken furniture. There were burns on the walls and floors from where kids had come in to smoke and set fires, broken bottles and crushed beer cans, litter and lost belongings, but it was still the place that used to be your home.

The first room was the living room, couches that were torn, flat cushions with rusted springs and missing stuffing, but the faded pattern was almost still visible. There was a clear place where a television had once been, almost everything of value having been stripped from the room, and other furniture rearranged to make places for youths to sit around and talk, but it was enough for you to be able to put the jigsaw puzzle pieces together. You wandered around, running your fingers lightly over everything, and moving onto the dining room. You’d dragged the chairs back through, arranging them around the chipping and wobbly oakwood table, and adjusting the photo frames on the walls, even though the glass had shattered.

The kitchen was a mess, broken cupboard doors and a leaky tap, the backdoor completely kicked in and the panels on the back porch broken, but you didn’t seem to care, a small smile flickering on your face as you crouched down, peering into the oven, despite the fact that you couldn't see through the glass of the door. “I think my mother used to bake cookies.”

“Yeah?”

You glanced at him, hands on your knees to push yourself up from your crouching position as you nodded your head. “Yeah. I just got the overwhelming urge to eat cookies when I walked in here.”

“Well, it won’t be the same, but when we go home, we’ll swing by the store and try and whip some up, if you’d like?” Your shoulder bumped against his as you walked through the room, before looking back, offering him a soft nod, and making your way across to the staircase, leaving him to follow you.

“I would like that.”

His offer was seemingly well accepted, and he was happy to have made a suggestion that was something positive for you. The stairs groaned and squealed under each step he took, and for a second the worry that the wood may actually give way underneath you both passed his mind as he felt each plank tremble under your weight, the disarray of the house entirely different to the upstairs.

The upper half of the house was more well-kept than the lower half. Less graffiti and broken furniture, it seemed far more well preserved, and Mitch would be willing to bet good money that kids just weren’t bold enough to try and climb stairs that screamed out in fits of protest at the first simple steps to be placed upon them. It brought a different mood, too. The downstairs was cheery for you, filled with sweet memories and happy times, thanksgivings at the dining table and christmas’ by the fireplace in the living room, but the upstairs was different. The first real room that you’d come across was that of the younger version of yourself, pink walls, pink furniture, everything must’ve once been bright and covered in glitter, and it seemed perfectly reasonable for a three-year-old girl’s room.

Children’s toys still covered the floor, a tiny bed with a little desk, colouring crayons and old teddies that had become weathered and ugly, slightly torn apart but not entirely disheveled, and Mitch held his breath once again as he waited for your own reaction. There was no smile, or look of fond memories, only that of sadness and shock, his body reaching for you as you jumped and twitched with every eerie squeak of the flooring under your feet or the wind rustling through the open windows of the upstairs.

It was dark, and unsettling, watching a grown woman relearn the room she’d been ripped from as a child, and something in the back of his throat burned at the thought as he wondered whether this was the last room you’d been in while holding your freedom, before being snatched up and cast into a life of horror and abuse. He watched as you moved around, kneeling down on the floor with an open plastic tub, picking up the toys on the carpet and tidying them away, before putting the glittery crate back where it belonged, the scratched off paint on the side revealing a part of a butterfly with purple wings and blue spots, and he had to look away from it all for a second.

He wanted to ask if you knew that you were tidying, or whether something instinctual had kicked in and taken over when you did so, but he didn’t have the heart to break what you were doing. Once you were satisfied with the straightened sheets and lines of rotten bears and plush toys along the pillow, you were kneeling down, brushing your fingers along the planks of a colourful wooden box, faded paints that had once been a rainbow, and your fingers lingered on the latch, but you didn't open it. For the first time, your lips flicked up at the corners, and you placed your hand flat on the wood, pushing it back into place but continuing to stare at it.

“Bumblebee dress.”

He cursed under his breath, listening to you mumble to yourself about your favourite costumes that lay inside, and he turned away to wipe at a droplet that had strayed from his eyes, blinking back tears on burning eyes as he tried to control himself. You were more composed than he was, but he couldn't help it. In the few months he’d known you, he had grown to care so much, you barely even knew yourself but he felt like he knew you inside and out, and he didn’t want any unhappiness for you. You were like the sun to him, warm and welcoming and loving, every day you became more and more like a star to brighten up the sky, but this was a significant dull moment in your history.

If he hadn't thought it could get any worse, he was severely mistaken.

At least your childhood bedroom was preserved in its purity, you hadn't been harmed and perhaps you’d put up a struggle - the best struggle a toddler could - but that was not the same story in your parents room, and he felt himself stiffen up beside you at the same time your entire body had turned to one of stone.

It was a mess, the walls were spattered with blood in different angles and torn up yellow tape reading ‘crime scene’ was still hanging from some places on the walls, with white tape on the floors marking stained carpet. There was more of a visible fight put up in here, gunpowder shadows on the walls and furniture that was tipped over. The drywall was littered with dents and holes, and splintered wood still covered the floor. It was haunting, nothing seemed to be disturbed, and he wasn’t surprised, because even small town kids who broke into ‘haunted houses’ for fun had enough respect not to disturb the place a person took their final breath.

“My mother must’ve died here.”

Your voice made his head snap over to you, and he hadn't even noticed that you’d taken a few steps away from him, staring down at the dark mark on the carpet, taped off to avoid it having any disturbance from the people who would have been wandering around while it was still a fresh crime scene and open investigation. He barely had time to process your words, swallowing down the lump in his throat that felt like cotton as everything in his mouth felt dry, watching as you moved away, your shaking voice extending on again;

“This was my father’s side of the bed. I think he died here.”

Everything about being here with you was making the absence of his own parents feel like a raw and fresh wound, his eyes lining with tears once again as all of that pain came rushing back to the surface in his weakened state, and he wondered how you were still holding yourself together so well as you stared down at a bloodstained bed, the covers still pushed back as though he’d simply gotten up for a second to nip downstairs or to the bathroom, before coming back to bed.

Just as he was thinking about it, your jaw dropped, head snapping up so that your sights could catch his own as your calm demeanour was washed away to be replaced with a horrified look, startled and tensing up as you came to some kind of revelation. “I’ve killed people. I’ve killed people who could have been other little girls’ parents.”

He knew where this was going, a familiar rabbit hole that he’d worked hard to pull himself out of before, his mind feeling slow despite how hard he tried to think about what to say as he watched the pain take over, and he could barely get his feet to move, feeling like he was trying to run through wet cement with every movement.

“I’m a monster. Just like the ones who killed my parents.”

He couldn't take it, shaking his head as he finally managed to click into place, pushing away his boundaries as you stared at him with tears streaming silently down your cheeks. His hands found your shoulders, smoothing down until he could hold your waist, before pulling your body into his own. It was the most affectionate touch he’d ever given you, and he wasn’t sure if it was welcome, all he knew was that you needed it right now, and so he had no hesitations in tugging you in closer to him, arms wrapped entirely around your body, and your face was pressed into his shoulder, salty tears washing over his skin as you sobbed silently into the crook of his neck.

“I don’t think you’re a monster, it was beyond your control.” He lifted a hand, feeling you shake underneath him, and weaving his fingers into your hair. He detangled the strands delicately, running his fingers through the locks and scratching at your scalp lightly as you remained wrapped up in his arms, his own eyes sliding shut as he rested his cheek against the top of your head. “I think you’re lovely. You’re incredible, sweetheart; you are.”

Your arms came up to hold him back as he spoke, mumbling into your hair to reassure you. Your hands bunched up in his shirt as your legs went weak, a loud cry in distress leaving you as you held onto him, and his knees buckled a little, before he was leaning down. Scooping you up and into his arms carefully, Mitch made the decision for you that this little excursion was over, you didn’t need anything else, you’d had everything from this house that you could possibly get. With tentative footsteps he carried you through the halls and back outside, freeing up one hand to open the car as your trembling body clung to him, seeking comfort and affection to soothe your broken soul.

Placing you down in the car seat, the whimper you let out when he pulled away was enough to break his heart, but you soon realised your location, fingers unwrapping from his jumper enough to let him round the car, and find his own seat. The drive home was silent, the radio playing softly as you tried to calm yourself down, his hand in yours at every time he could as he smoothed his thumb over your knuckles to ease your pain, and you had snoozed off for almost an hour towards the end, letting him gently wake you as you arrived back at his apartment building.

Your hand remained locked in his own as you wandered slowly up the stairs, pushing the door open as he twisted the keys, and he didn’t miss the relieved breath you let out as you stepped back into the place you were now calling home. There were no blood splatters and trauma, no bad memories that you’d have to hide from, just the warmth he’d tried to surround you with, and you shook his hand off of your own in order to take off your shoes, before you were collapsing down onto the couch, pulling a cushion to your chest and resting your chin atop it as you pulled up your legs, creating a ball out of yourself as you tried to work through fragmented thoughts.

Wandering to the office, the box that was hidden on the very top of filing cabinet was layered with dust that he brushed off, the label reading clear to him ‘another life’ scrawled in shaky handwriting that he’d completed while swiping thing sinto a box at three in the morning as a desperate bid to clear himself of the lost life.

He braved it, though, and brought it back through to you, your head twisting to look at him as he carried it out and took a seat beside you, placing it down on the coffee table before you both and taking a deep breath.

“I want to show you something.”

You didn’t move, just nodded, and he lifted off the top, a musty smell coming out as a pain burned in the back of his throat once again. The first items up before you both were his medals and certificates, sporting achievements that he showed you and explained each one to you, accolades from both college and highschool, things that had made him who he used to be. Next up was a photo album, and he was shaking a little as he held it out to you, flicking through the pages and pointing out family memoirs to you, water splashing on the plastic when his parents stopped showing up.

You had moved across the cushions a little closer to him, your arm pressing to his as you looked on with interest, and his heart felt like it was rebreaking when the pictures of a fresh-faced college kid with a beautiful blonde on his arm came into view, and the pain and longing for the simple life of who he used to be was enough to make him feel as though he couldn't breathe.

“When Katrina died, I was so overcome with rage and jealousy. I hurt a lot of people, and I was ready to just slaughter hundreds until I got my revenge, before the CIA found me. I’m a monster, too.”

He let out a weak sound, trying to clear his throat to cover it as he left the book discarded on the table, and you shook your head, letting out a disapproving noise that prompted him to look up at you. “You’re not a monster. “You saved me.”

Your arms circled around him, holding him just as tightly, mumbling the same words into his hair that he’d used to try and placate you only hours prior, to calm you own when you’d bene in his position only a few hours ago, a cracked and watery laugh leaving him when you squeezed him in tightly, letting him rest his face in your neck as he held onto you just as tightly in return. You had made a breakthrough of earthshaking sizes today, and while it make him sad, to know that he had nothing else to offer you, that he'd made you into someone who could go out into the world as a real person now, and that he'd have to report your progress to his superiors, he didn’t have to do it tonight.

He was more than willing to be selfish for the rest of the evening, shifting you to pull you to sit across him as your fingers weaved through his hair, holding one another in silence as the weight of the day threatened to crush you if you didn’t bear it together. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah.” His breath washed over your skin and back into his face, warm and suffocating, but he liked having someone to hold so close again, to have even a snippet of emotional comfort once again, and not having to carry everything on his own, for the first time in a long, long time. “You choose us a film, and I’ll order us a whole bunch of takeout.”

#mitchtober #mitch-tober #mitch month #put her together again #PHTA #mitch rapp x reader #mitch rapp/reader #mitch rapp #dylan obrien mitch rapp #dylan obrien #dylan o'brien #dylan obrien american assassin #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien/reader

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imagine-loki · 5 years

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Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 22 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths. RATING: Mature NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

Loki thought about what needed to be done. He was apprehensive. After everything, this would be so different, but he had to do it, for Jotuheim. He walked through the halls thinking through everything. When he got to Ella’s rooms, he thought over everything for a moment before knocking on her door. There was no response, causing him to knock again. When he was met with no answer, he contemplated his options. Thinking if he should enter and wait for her, wait outside for her, or go in search of her. He turned to leave just as the door opened, revealing a drenched Ella to him. “Oh?”

“Is everything alright?” She ensured only her head was viewable to him.

“I need to speak with you.”

Ella looked both directions before opening the door to allow him in.

When Loki entered, he looked at her confused. She was soaking wet, a light robe over her, the water very much making it somewhat translucent. “I...Is there someone else here?”

Ella looked at him in confusion. “Not that I am aware of?”

“Why are you wet?”

“I was having a bath?” She looked over herself. “I would have thought that to be obvious.” She pursed her lips and sighed. “I must admit, your swiftness to suggest such says a lot. I had begun to think we were past this nonsense.”

Loki thought to make a retort, but he thought better of it. “I apologise. I am negating everything. Please, forgive my foolishness. I do not wish to sabotage this, I came to speak with you on a serious matter.”

“Which is?”

“The Vanir.”

“What of them?”

“They are inviting us to join them for some event, a...Ost…”

“Ostara, yes, a significant festival there. I didn’t realise it was that time of year again.” Ella smiled. She noted Loki’s confused face. “Ostara is a fertility festival. It is to hope for a good year, they have this interesting symbolism for it, eggs, for obvious reasons, and rabbits, because of their high fertility.”

“What are rabbits?”

For a moment, Ella thought Loki to be jesting, but seeing his confusion, she remembered that Jotunheim did not have such a creature. Thinking better than to simply describe it, she used her seidr to conjure one. “This is a rabbit. It is fast and has multiple litters of young a year, each litter containing several young, the gestation period is also notably swift also.” She used her seidr to clothe herself, noting she was starting to get cold. “It is interesting, of course, that they request this now. Why now? Is it for consideration to the differences in heat, Vanaheim of course, being incredibly warm in summer, this is the best time to ask for a visit before the forced delay of several months? Is it because there is something more afoot, I wonder.” She paced as she spoke. “My parents always go. Is it a form of extension through them. Is it to have Vanaheim be the first realm to host Jotunheim after everything, what is their motive?”

“Is the king not some relative of yours?” Loki hampered a guess.

“Yes, but that means nothing. I met him six times in my life, none of those meetings lasting longer than a few days. I know nothing of him. If he walked past me, I would hardly know him. I would definitely think him to not know me.” She shook her head. “No, there is something more to this. Something I cannot think of yet. When are you to leave?”

Loki was startling by her manner of thinking of this. “The end of the week. We need to prepare.”

“Who is to go?”

“Byleistr’s second mate I never knew about is due to come to heat, he will not leave her.”

“No, of course not. They must endeavour to conceive, it could not be expected. May the Norns grant them favour for it.”

Loki nodded, startled again that she thought such a thing, considering she had not conceived and knowing the pressure on them, now more than ever. He had seen other mates get envious when such occurred, even if they were not a mate of those involved, Ella seemed to genuinely wish them luck. “So Bindi, obviously.” Ella smiled at Loki’s affectionate name for his brother. “They do not realise that Father has cast me from being his heir, so I am called upon.”

“Laufey will return your position to you, he is just trying to get you to better yourself first.” She assured him. “Why else would he have you preside over court? No, fear not. You will have your crown.”

“We don’t have crowns.”

“I know.”

“You seem so certain.”

“Father did it with Thor too. Would you believe there was a time my brother was even more immature?” Loki looked at her worriedly. “Yes, he was. He went to Midgard and had something that can only be described as a tantrum, the likes of which little children have, and Father officially declared him not to be his heir, that a law would be altered to make me his heir. That caused uproar, as you can imagine. My brother, however, saw my father was not lying and realised he needed to show my father he could do it. He is not ready yet to take the throne, but he is more mature than he was. He will mature more with time. Laufey will be the same. He knows you are the best choice, he simply wants to teach you a lesson. Figure it out and accept your fault, show him you are fighting to change it and he will declare you as such once more.”

“I wish I had your confidence.”

“What makes you think he will not?”

“I just accused you of having another here even when you never gave any indication of such.”

“You are not perfect, Loki, but you are learning, he sees that.”

“I am sorry.” She gave a small smile. “I have not…”

“I know.” Loki frowned. “I am good at telling when people are being dishonest.” She smirked. “You better prepare to leave.”

“Actually, the invitation is to you too. That is what I came here to say.”

“Oh, I see." She thought for a moment. "It appears I have to prepare for our departure."

"Yes." Loki nodded slightly. "And again, I apologise for that."

Ella gave a polite smile. "For what?"

Loki thought for a moment that she was being ridiculous, but he then realised what she was implying. "Thank you."

"Will I see you for dinner?"

"You will."

Ella gave him a genuine smile. "I look forward to it."

Loki felt a slight gripe in his stomach at her saying that, not knowing why her saying such would affect him like that.

"Norms," Helbindi moaned. "How is anywhere this hot?"

Loki and Ella looked at him sympathetically. With a flick of her wrist, Ella caused a green glow to go around the Jotnar, causing them all to look at her worriedly before they realised what she had done. "Better?" She asked.

"Thank you." Arden bowed slightly.

"It would not do to be entirely out of your element. I am just grateful we do not have to come later in the year. It gets far warmer than this. It is not made for Jotnar."

Loki looked at Arden for a moment, who nodded in return. Both wondering the same thing. Was there anything of a comment on her own situation in her words.

They arrived at the location where the Vanir were waiting, both parties looking at one another apprehensively.

Ella urged Loki forward with her seidr, he looked at her worriedly, wondering how she was able to make him move with her magic. She merely smiled politely in return and took a step forward to stand by his side. Taking her lead, he walked forward.

"Prince Loki, of Jotunheim." The man to the front of the Vanir declared loudly. "And Princess Ella of Asgard."

"Sir Gregor Culpepper, King Wilhelm's head advisor," Ella whispered to her husband while they walked towards him.

Loki took on board her words. "Sir Gregor, thank you for meeting us here," Loki replied.

"Well, on a momentous occasion like this, it is imperative that we start right."

"I agree." Loki concurred.

"Though, if I may point out, for announcing our arrival, I would rather be addressed as being of my husband's realm, as is tradition," Ella smiled. The advisor looked at her somewhat confused. "I am now Ella of Jotunheim, not Asgard."

Loki looked at her, slightly startled that she declared such so openly.

"As you wish, your Highness, my apologies. I did not intend to offend."

"Not at all. Tell me, how are the apple blossom this year, have they began to bloom yet?"

Loki felt himself being forced to hide a chuckle as he recognised her polite manner of changing a conversation when she decided she would speak no more on a matter.

The advisor began to speak of the trees she referenced, becoming engrossed in the matter as they made their way to the Vanir palace. Loki, Arden and Helbindi realising fairly quickly that Ella distracting the Vanir advisor from boring them with some other inconsequential matter.

#Loki #others #submission #submitted fic #chapter 22 #pride and prejudice #wolfpawn

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wolfpawn · 5 years

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Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 22

Story Summary - Based on an idea I had that I submitted to Imagine Loki. Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.

Chapter Summary - Loki discusses what Ella told him with his father before he discusses certain topics with her, only to get some truths he’s not so sure he can handle.

Previous Chapter

Tags - @peppermint-j @damalseer @perpetual-fangirl @tinchentitri @inspired-snowflace @raphaelaisabella @alexakeyloveloki @caffiend-queen @devilbat @nonsensicalobsessions @skulliebythesea @majoringinlife @salempoe @lotus-eyedindiangoddess

Request if you wish to be tagged

NOTE - Ostara is a Norse celebration of fertility each spring that is the basis for modern Easter.

“Is everything alright?” She ensured only her head was viewable to him.

“I need to speak with you.”

Ella looked both directions before opening the door to allow him in.

When Loki entered, he looked at her confused. She was soaking wet, a light robe over her, the water very much making it somewhat translucent. “I...Is there someone else here?”

Ella looked at him in confusion. “Not that I am aware of?”

“Why are you wet?”

“Which is?”

“The Vanir.”

“What of them?”

“They are inviting us to join them for some event, a...Ost…”

“What are rabbits?”

“Is the king not some relative of yours?” Loki hampered a guess.

Loki was startling by her manner of thinking of this. “The end of the week. We need to prepare.”

“Who is to go?”

“Byleistr’s second mate I never knew about is due to come to heat, he will not leave her.”

“No, of course not. They must endeavour to conceive, it could not be expected. May the Norns grant them favour for it.”

“We don’t have crowns.”

“I know.”

“You seem so certain.”

“I wish I had your confidence.”

“What makes you think he will not?”

“I just accused you of having another here even when you never gave any indication of such.”

“You are not perfect, Loki, but you are learning, he sees that.”

“I am sorry.” She gave a small smile. “I have not…”

“I know.” Loki frowned. “I am good at telling when people are being dishonest.” She smirked. “You better prepare to leave.”

“Actually, the invitation is to you too. That is what I came here to say.”

“Oh, I see." She thought for a moment. "It appears I have to prepare for our departure."

"Yes." Loki nodded slightly. "And again, I apologise for that."

Ella gave a polite smile. "For what?"

Loki thought for a moment that she was being ridiculous, but he then realised what she was implying. "Thank you."

"Will I see you for dinner?"

"You will."

Ella gave him a genuine smile. "I look forward to it."

Loki felt a slight gripe in his stomach at her saying that, not knowing why her saying such would affect him like that.

"Norms," Helbindi moaned. "How is anywhere this hot?"

"Thank you." Arden bowed slightly.

"It would not do to be entirely out of your element. I am just grateful we do not have to come later in the year. It gets far warmer than this. It is not made for Jotnar."

Loki looked at Arden for a moment, who nodded in return. Both wondering the same thing. Was there anything of a comment on her own situation in her words.

They arrived at the location where the Vanir were waiting, both parties looking at one another apprehensively.

"Prince Loki, of Jotunheim." The man to the front of the Vanir declared loudly. "And Princess Ella of Asgard."

"Sir Gregor Culpepper, King Wilhelm's head advisor," Ella whispered to her husband while they walked towards him.

Loki took on board her words. "Sir Gregor, thank you for meeting us here," Loki replied.

"Well, on a momentous occasion like this, it is imperative that we start right."

"I agree." Loki concurred.

Loki looked at her, slightly startled that she declared such so openly.

"As you wish, your Highness, my apologies. I did not intend to offend."

"Not at all. Tell me, how are the apple blossom this year, have they began to bloom yet?"

Loki felt himself being forced to hide a chuckle as he recognised her polite manner of changing a conversation when she decided she would speak no more on a matter.

#loki fic #Chapter 22 #Pride and Prejudice

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dkronpa · 5 years

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Chapter 3: Journey to Despair, Grave Secrets, Grave Lies ~Investigation~

//HOOO BOY, this was a looooong chapter to write. I don’t even wanna say too much because this trial...I feel is gonna be...interesting to write, so I’ll let you guys read and decide what you think for yourself.

//Hope you guys enjoy!

-Chapter 3 Deadly Life, Torture Exhibit-

We all stared silently at the iron maiden. Ishikawa-san was respectful enough to close over the slide that let us see Shinko-san’s face. Frankly, I don’t think I could stomach seeing his final expression. I think we were all trying to figure out how someone was able to do this to him. Not physically but morally. Killing was already bad enough but to use something in the torture exhibit room…

“Man you guys are so mopey whenever you find a body!” Monokuma chided, “give me a little variety! Someone celebrate, this guy was kind of a douchebag, don’t you think?”

“Oi, if you start saying shit like that-“

“You’ll hit me? Go on, big guy! Hit me and see what happens you do!” Monokuma taunted. Okanaya-san let out a shaky breath and stayed put. He was holding back, “Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d do. Anyway, as per usual, I present to you…the Monokuma file! Make sure you read up on what I’ve prepared and have fun…so…I’ll see ya later!” And once again, Monokuma was gone.

“How shall we go about this?” Ishikawa-san asked, “I doubt many people want to see the state of Shinko-sama’s body, however, if I do not perform my autopsy then I fear we may lose vital evidence.”

“Then only people who can stomach the sight should investigate this room. Simple as that.” Sly-san said.

“I suppose…” Ishikawa-san seemed reluctant. I wonder if this is even too much for her to handle, “very well…I will deal with the autopsy once everybody who does not wish to see the state of Shinko-sama has left. There is a tarp in the back of the room I can use to cover him should they wish to come and investigate this room later.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” Kurohiko-san said woozily, “I…I think I’ll just stick to investigating elsewhere though. It’s just…s-so much blood.”

“Mademoiselle Graves, Herr Knives and I are probably the only people who will be able to stomach seeing Herr Shinko’s body. So, one of us should stay behind to watch over the crime scene with Mademoiselle Ishikawa.” Kurosaki-san said.

“I’ll do it. I don’t feel up to walking about this time around.” Sly-san murmured. Kurosaki-san’s gaze lingered on him for a moment before nodding.

“Very well…everyone, let’s do our best for Herr Shinko’s sake. Oui?” There was a silent agreement in the room. Or almost a full agreement. Someone in this room killed Shinko-san…they were going to be working against us.

Investigation Start!

I opened up the Monokuma file and looked at the information I was provided with this time around. The pink splotches were shown all across Shinko-san’s torso area and legs, though that was to be expected. I scrolled to the next page.

The victim was Toson Shinko, his body was found in the torture exhibit of the history building at 9:24am. The cause of death was multiple stab wounds across the body resulting in blood loss.

No time of death again, so I’m going to have to figure out a timeframe for that…

Truth Bullet Added: Monokuma File 3

The victim is Toson Shinko, the cause of death was several stabs wounds across the whole body.

“Hmmm…Hmmmmmmm!” Graves-san was nodding to herself as she looked at the iron maiden.

“Wh…what are you doing?” I asked.

“I was just thinking; this thing is probably super heavy right? Then it totally narrows down who the killer could’ve been, right?! This thing is solid metal, so only someone strong could’ve thrown Toson’s body in there and closed the door.” She said. I suppose the thing did look pretty heavy, “also, did you know that even though iron maidens are considered a medieval torture device, there’s no evidence of the iron maidens we know today before the 19th century. Bonkers, right?”

“Y-yeah. Bonkers.”

New Truth Bullet: Graves-san’s Account

Graves-san believes the killer must have been strong to be able to get someone of Shinko-san's build into the iron maiden.

New Truth Bullet: Iron Maiden

An iron case filled with iron spikes. Shinko-san's body was found inside of it.

“Ah, Nagata-kun, could I ask you a favour?” Kurosaki-san approached me all of a sudden.

“A…favour? I’m not sure I like the sound of that coming from you.” I said. That was the moment Kurosaki-san would hit back with a line, but his face remained neutral. I suppose he still feels off with the group’s situation.

“I want you to investigate with me this time around.” He said.

“Oi, what are you up to? If it’s anything suspicious, I’ll kill you.”

“Sly-sama, please.” Ishikawa-san chastised. No, I had to agree. It was strange that, out of everyone, Kurosaki-san would want to investigate with me. Even Ishikawa-san must know that.

“The important thing right now is the truth, non? You’re the only reason we’re still alive right now, so if anybody is going to be able to find out the truth this time around, it’ll be you. I just want to make sure you have all the necessary evidence to piece it all together.” Kurosaki-san explained.

“…you say that, but I’d have probably gotten a lot of things wrong or gotten stuck if it wasn’t for you being there to guide the trial…Kurosaki-san, you’re the reason we’re alive. So, why are you relying on someone like me?”

“I don’t have a lot of people I can trust.” He said coldly.

…I can’t understand what this guy must be going through or have already gone through to be able to speak like that…but, if I can find the truth then I guess I have no choice. “Okay then. I’ll help you out.” I said.

“Then let’s go to the library.”

“Huh? The library? What does that place have to do with Shinko-san’s murder?”

“You’ll understand eventually. Let’s just go.”

-Chapter 3 Deadly Life, Library-

We stepped into the library- or rather, Kurosaki-san made me follow him there. “Alright, we’re here. What is it you’re wanting to check?” I asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? Take a look.” Kurosaki-san simply gestured to the whole room. Ugh, why can’t he just tell me directly? We’re on a time limit right now…

My eyes scan the room and I notice it. A book laying on the ground underneath one of the tables, blood covering its cover and spine. A white strip of paper was sticking out from the pages. “Is this what you were talking about? What is this book?”

Kurosaki-san walked over and picked up the book. “It’s a book containing past records for Hope’s Peak Academy. The past classes and such, y’know?” The blood left the cover illegible, so Kurosaki-san has probably read it before and recognised it from its design?

“That bookmark…somebody was reading it then.” I said. Kurosaki-san slid the bookmark from the pages and handed it to me. In actuality, it was a card with a bloodstain on the front of it. I opened it up to see what it said, but was greeted with nothing, aside from lines that would be used to write along. “Huh…? What’s with this?”

Kurosaki-san loomed over me, staring at the card. “My best guess…is that it’s a motive card. The blood is covering up the name of whoever this belongs to, but it’s got the exact same layout of my motive card, and it has a Monokuma symbol in each corner.” That was true…

“It’s blank though. There’s no names.”

“Indeed…how ominous.” Kurosaki-san said.

New Truth Bullet: Bloody Book

A bloody book found in the library. The blood covered the cover and spine and has sealed a number of pages together.

New Truth Bullet: Blank Motive Card

A motive card found as a bookmark in the bloody book. The name is covered up by a bloodstain.

I continued my scan of the room and noticed that by the bookshelves that the wooden frame of the shelves was decorated with splotches of blood as well. “Seriously? What happened in here?” Could it be related to Shinko-san’s murder? Either way, I should remember this.

New Truth Bullet: Blood in the library

The frames of the bookshelves in the library seem to have spots of blood on them.

“I think that’s all we’ll find in here. For now, we should go to the front entrance. There’s something important to look at there, non?” Kurosaki-san said. Again, he’s leading around the place…

-Chapter 3 Deadly Life, Ground floor-

“Nagata-kun…a-and Kurosaki-kun…?” Ram-…Kirishima-san appeared when we reached the ground floor. “I guess you two are investigating together then. I’m doing my best as well, don’t worry! I’ll definitely find some good evidence.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” I nodded.

“Have you found anything so far…?” Kurosaki-san said.

“Actually…i-it’s a little embarrassing but I found something on accident just a minute ago. I dunno if it was me or if it was already like that…b-but one of the windows at the end of the hallway had a loose bar. I almost knocked it completely out of place…” She said. Kirishima-san isn’t heavy either, so it must be really loose.

“Hmm…the windows here aren’t blocked with glass, so the iron bars are a replacement. If you didn’t break it, I wonder why it’s loose…?”

“Not only that! There were some strange scratch marks on the windowsill! Like…if something metal was dragged on the stone.”

“You noticed a few things then. Impressive, Ram-san.” Kurosaki-san said.

“U-um…actually, it’s Kirishima now…l-long story.” Kirishima-san smiled half-heartedly. Of course, Kurosaki-san wasn’t there when Kirishima-san said that to everybody…

New Truth Bullet: Window Frame

There are scuff marks on the window frame as if something scraped against it

New Truth Bullet: Loose Iron Bar

One of the windows on the ground floor was slightly loose and could be removed easily.

“I’m gonna check elsewhere! I wanna make sure I leave no stone unturned in a building like this! If I find anything, I’ll let you know.” Kirishima-san promised before jogging up the stairs.

“She’s become rather determined over time, has she not?” Kurosaki-san said.

“I’m glad. I remember how frail she came across when I met her the first time, so I’m glad she’s been able to get to this point. I think we can really rely on Kirishima-san.”

“Oh~hohoho~? Nagata-kyun, are you perhaps falling for Fraulein?” Kurosaki-san teased.

“E-eh?! N-no way! That’s definitely not it!” I protested. Even if I didn’t like being teased like that, I have to say that I was happy to see the normal Kurosaki-san, even for a second.

Kurosaki-san and I walked to the entrance and I used my ElectroID to exit the building. He stopped when the doors slid shut and turned back to the card reader. “Monokuma! I need you!” He called out.

Within a second, Monokuma appeared from nowhere, “What what what? You wanna start the trial early? I dunno if the others’ll be happy with that!”

“No, it’s not that. This card reader, is there any records on it? If possible, could you provide us with a copy of the records? We’d only really need the records of the last 24 hours.” Kurosaki-san said.

“Ah~ I knew someone like you would ask about it, so I had a copy prepared already…although, the budget is tight for this killing game. This is the only copy I got…so, be nice and share it around! Or don’t!” Monokuma shrugged and vanished, leaving a piece of paper where he was standing.

Kurosaki-san picked up the paper and read through the names. “Oh? No timestamps…” He murmured before handing it to me. “For now, let’s keep the information on this between us. I have my reasons, so please trust in me.”

New Truth Bullet: Card Reader Records

The entrance to the history building requires an electroID to open. The log was as follows, from most recent to least recent in the last 24 hours:

"Nagata - Exit"

“Asano – Exit”

"Graves - Enter"

"Yokozawa - Enter"

"Sly - Enter"

"Kurosaki - Enter"

"Okanaya - Enter"

"Kurohiko - Enter"

"Nagata - Enter"

"Kurosaki - Exit"

"Sly - Exit"

"Shinko - Enter"

"Sly - Enter"

"Kurosaki - Enter"

"Graves - Exit"

"Ishikawa - Exit"

"Yokozawa - Exit"

"Kirishima - Exit"

Huh? “K…Kurosaki-san, you were in the history building last night?!” I exclaimed.

“Indeed. Though, that shouldn’t be surprise. I told you I was going to be investigating the library as much as I could, and that’s exactly what I was doing during the night.” Kurosaki-san explained.

“But…between the time you entered and left…Shinko-san came to the building as well and it says here that he never left either.” I pointed out. Kurosaki-san folded his arms and hummed under his breath, almost in thought.

“…I’ll probably get accused at the trial. For Herr Shinko’s murder, I mean. However, I did not kill him, okay? I have too much to lose by killing someone. I’ll be counting on you when that time comes.”

Even if he says that, why would he leave his defence to me…? “…if it’s what you want, then I’ll do it…but I’m putting a lot of trust in you. If there’s any doubt in my mind, I’ll accuse you myself. You know that, right?”

Kurosaki-san’s eyes widened. “Oh…you would’ve never been so direct with someone like me if this was the first trial. You’re becoming quite the protégé detective, Nagata-kyun.” Kurosaki-san chuckled. “Well, I knew that already. I’ll be putting my faith in you when the time comes…like I said, let’s keep this information between us for now. Don’t even ask other people their reason for being in the building the last 24 hours.”

“…alright then.”

“Good. I think this will be where our co-investigation ends. I’ll look elsewhere, so good luck with your end of the investigation, Nagata-kyun.” Kurosaki-san tipped his hat at me and walked off. I need to find more places to investigate…where should I go…?

-Chapter 3 Deadly Life, Dormitory-

“Asano-san, you decided to come and investigate here too…?” I walked over to her, snapping her out of whatever thought she was in.

“Indeed. I wanted to investigate Shinko-kun’s room seeing as that was why I called upon his search this morning in the first place. Would you like me to show you what I found? I left the door open.” I took her up on the offer and followed her to Shinko-san’s room. A doorstopper was wedged underneath the door.

I took in the sight of Shinko-san’s room. The walls were decorated with numerous movie memorabilia and awards I assume belonged to Shinko-san. A director’s chair was in the corner with Shinko-san’s name on it. I recognised a lot of the items as props used in his short film from the talent show.

“He was a wonder to work with.” Asano-san said, as if reading my mind. “I believe he simply became too scared of dying that he thought shutting himself away was the only way.”

“Were you two close?”

Asano-san shook her head, “Regrettably, no. I feel as though as I could have done more though…Ishikawa-san and I talked to him that day to try and get him to come back to the group, but…”

-A Conversation with Toson-

“You’re here to beg me to come back to the group? I’d actually prefer to not be fodder for the rest of you. No, I’ll keep to myself.” Shinko-san said.

“We work best as a group. Staying away from us is not only a hindrance for yourself, it’s a hinderance for everybody. I would actually prefer it if you could stop being selfish and realise this game is more than just you.”

“Ishikawa-san-“

“Hah?! You wanna start preaching about morals in a killing game?! Morals became irrelevant a long time ago, dumbass! We’re in a kill or be killed situation, and like fuck am I being killed off like some stupid side-character!” Shinko-san barked.

“So that’s what we all mean to you? You were almost sentenced to death in both trials thus far and yet you wish to argue that you cannot trust anybody? The efforts of Nagata-sama, Kurosaki-sama and everybody else means nothing?!” Ishikawa-san argued.

“They did it for themselves, not for me. They would’ve had no qualms about voting me as it the killer. And how I can trust someone like Nagata? He’s the reason we’re still in this shitty situation! And you-“ He pointed accusingly at Asano-san, “-you were on Nagata’s side in that debate, so how can I trust you?!”

Asano-san attempted a response though she could only manage stammers.

“I tried to put my trust in this group, but I’m sick of feeling like that trust is just gonna get thrown right back at me. Have fun acting like you’re all friends but leave me out of it.”

-Present Time-

“And then he slammed the door in our faces…”

Shinko-san was probably scared, by the sound of it. And it’s my fault he separated from the group in the first place…if I hadn’t spoken up like that during the last trial, Shinko-san wouldn’t be dead…

“We all should have done more to make everybody feel safe enough to stick together.” I said.

“Indeed…” Asano-san said. I allowed myself a few moments to be angry at myself before trying to refocus on the investigation at hand.

“A-anyway…I’ve been wondering for a while, but why did you think to check Shinko-san’s room this morning? You just came into the cafeteria and said he was missing without much explanation.” I asked.

“Oh, of course. My apologies for forgetting to explain. When I was making my way to the cafeteria this morning, I noticed Shinko-kun’s door was ajar because of a doorstopper. I found it strange due to our previous encounter and decided I should investigate further. That is when I found out he was not in his room and began my search for him.” Asano-san explained.

“And when you couldn’t find him in this building, you came to the cafeteria and we all split into our groups. So, that doorstopper holding his door open right now is the same one that was holding it open this morning?”

“Correct.” Asano-san nodded. Shinko-san’s room is at the very back of the dorm hallway and Asano-san’s is right across. I suppose she was the only one who would’ve seen it.

New Truth Bullet: Asano-san’s Account

She noticed a doorstopper holding Shinko-san's room door opened, when she checked the room she found he wasn't there which is what prompted the search for him.

I turned my attention to the bedside table where there was a plate of untouched food sitting. “This is pretty strange as well.” I commented.

“Indeed, I was trying to make heads-or-tails with it. Perhaps the killer ambushed Shinko-kun while he was in his room and he didn’t get a chance to eat this. It’s prepared perfectly, so it must have been for eating right away.” Asano-san concluded. Ambush Shinko-san? Shinko-san seemed like a pretty in-shape guy, so I doubt there were many people who were strong enough to overpower him without leaving any signs of a struggle…

New Truth Bullet: Plate of Food

Plate of untouched food found in Shinko-san's room. Clearly prepared to eat right away.

“I think that’s everything in here…that food plate is making me a little suspicious…he wouldn’t come out of his room during the daytime, and the cafeteria shuts at night-time…so he probably got that food from the storage room.” I decided on my next destination.

“I see…I’ll wish you good luck in your search there. I shall continue to look elsewhere, just in case.” Asano-san said.

-Chapter 3 Deadly Life, Storage room-

The storage room was deathly quiet. This was the second time I had to come here for an investigation, and that fact really put my teeth on edge. I began looking around the room to see if anything was out of place and made my way to one of the far-right shelves.

I noticed a rag on the floor in front of the shelf. I picked it up and felt that something had dried onto it. I couldn’t tell what it was as there was no stain, but the material of the rag definitely was soaked in something. I brought it a little closer to my face but-

“Ugh!” I recoiled when I started to feel a little dizzy and ended up dropping the rag…suspicious.

New Truth Bullet: Rag

A rag found on the floor of the storage room. There's an odd substance on it that made me dizzy when I got too close to it

I turned my attention to the food shelf it was in front of. None of the boxes seemed too out of place, though, ”A dent?” I murmured, tracing my hand along the dent made in one of the shelves. I don’t remember any of the shelves ever being damaged before.

“It’s pretty high up, yeah?”

“Uwah!” I jumped, spinning to face whoever the voice belonged to.

“Ack! D-don’t just yell like that, idiot! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Yokozawa-san growled.

“S-sorry, you surprised me…”

“I’ve been talking with you this whole time. You sniffed that weird rag even though I said not to.” H-huh?! I didn’t even realise he was there…has he been in the room this whole time, “God, even after all this time, you still don’t notice me when I’m the room with you. Sad.” Even though he says that, he seemed to just shrug it off.

“S-sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” He chided before turning back to the shelf. He let out a low hum, glancing to me then back to the shelf, “No…probably not.”

“Huh?”

“Just thinking out loud…this dent was probably because somebody hit it with their elbow. I was thinking it could’ve been someone short and they hit their head on it, but the shape of the dent is probably more like an elbow did it going down onto the shelf. And with the height of the shelf…both of us are too short to have done it. Person must’ve been…6 foot at least? Yeah, that sounds about right. Though I suppose a short person could have been dropped from above that shelf and hit their elbow on the way down.” Yokozawa-san concluded.

“E-eh?! You were able to tell all that just from a dent?!”

“Being on the internet all the time, you ended up spending your time learning how to do this and that. There was a time I wanted to be an investigator, so something like this is just simple deduction. And it’s definitely new as well. I was here yesterday and there was no dent…”

“Impressive…” I said.

New Truth Bullet: Dented Shelf

A food shelf that seemed to have been damaged at some point in the last 24 hours. Judging by the dent itself, it was cause by somebody at least 6 foot hitting their elbow on it.

“I, uh…I appreciate you telling me all that. J-just because you didn’t have to. You could have kept that information to yourself…”

“Huh? Why are you being weird? It’s pissing me off. If you’re acting like that because of the last trial or because I kept myself in my room, then knock it off! It’s not your fault about the last trial, I get where you were coming from. Even if Hachi-san said they were gonna end the killing game, we couldn’t know for sure…”

“B-but Shinko-san-“

“Did you kill him?”

“Huh…?”

“Did you make someone kill him?”

“Of course not!”

“Then shut the fuck up and get on with the investigation! I don’t have time for self-pitying bastards like you! We should be focusing on finding Shinko-kun’s killer above all else.” Yokozawa-san said. I twiddled my thumbs like a child getting scolded. Yokozawa-san didn’t make much of an impact when I met him, but his words are pretty sharp and to the point.

“You…actually kind of remind of Shinko-san. He was pretty brutal with his words too.”

“Is that so?” Yokozawa-san fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie. “I suppose if I’m gonna help you, I should probably say…I actually say Shinko-kun in here the day before yesterday. I have a supply of food in my room, but I ran out after night-time that day, so I came here to get more and then he came in afterwards. It didn’t look like he noticed me…but I just thought I should mention it.”

“I see…thank you, Yokozawa-san. I appreciate the help.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

New Truth Bullet: Yokozawa-san’s Account

He met Shinko-san a few days before the murder, going into the storage room. Though Shinko-san didn't notice Yokozawa-san was there.

“Good luck on your investigation.” Yokozawa-san murmured as we parted ways.

-Chapter 3 Deadly Life, Fountain-

“Yo, Nagata!” Okanaya-san called out as I was passing by the fountain. He was walking on the path that led to the leisure building. “How goes the investigation?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve collected a lot of information, but I haven’t taken any time to piece anything together yet. There’s evidence I’ve found, not just in the history building, but also the dormitory.”

“Ah, the drag marks, yeah…?”

“Huh?”

“You never noticed?” He gestured me to follow and we headed back towards the dormitory building. We stopped before entering the building and Okanaya-san pointed to the dirt patch between the entrance and the stone path that led to the fountain. “See? There’s marks in the dirt as if something’s been dragged.”

“Ah yeah. I didn’t even notice.” I said.

“…I wish I was more alert last night when we came out here. We might have noticed these and maybe stopped the murder.”

“Stopped it? How so?”

“You remember that crashing noise last night, and the broken window? I was thinking that it might have actually had something to do with the murder. I’m not sure how, I’m not so good with that stuff, but…it was just a thought. I went to recheck that…and I found this.” Okanaya-san pulled out a scrap of black fabric. “It was hidden in with the rocks. Not sure what it’s from, but…thought it could’a been useful to hold onto.”

“Yeah…good work, Okanaya-kun! This is a lot of good information, I think!” The rocks in the weapons exhibit had been disturbed when I checked on it. I wonder if the rocks came from there…? “That crash as well…do you remember when it happened…?”

“Uh…thinking about the time I got you and Kirishima at…must’ve been somewhere between 1am and 1:30am?”

New Truth Bullet: Drag marks in the dirt

Drag marks on the dirt outside of the dorm building

New Truth Bullet: Rock Pile

A number of rocks next to the leisure building. A piece of black fabric was found in the pile.

New Truth Bullet: Broken Window

A window at the side of leisure building that was broken the night of the murder

New Truth Bullet: Crashing Noise

The approximate time of the crashing sound from last night was 1am - 1:30am

“…it’s weird that Shinko got killed.” Okanaya-kun said.

“Huh?”

“Ah, thinking out loud. Probably something I should be saving for the trial…I’ll let you get on with your investigation. I’ve been keeping you too long.” Okanaya-kun nodded before heading off. There’s probably not much time left until the investigation is over, Ishikawa-san should be finished her autopsy by now.

-Chapter 3 Deadly Life, Torture Exhibit (2)-

“Nagata-sama! Have you finished your investigation?” Ishikawa-san asked when I entered the room. A tarp was over the ground, I’m guessing that Shinko-san’s body was underneath it. The iron maiden was luckily closed over again, I don’t think I could stomach seeing the inside of it.

“Just about, I think. I just came to get your autopsy report and see if you guys had anymore information. I’ve collected a lot, but I don’t know how anything fits. It feels all…contradictory.”

“Save it for the trial.” Sly-san said.

“I agree. You wish for my autopsy, correct? Well, it was actually hard to learn anything because of the state of the body. I couldn’t discern the time of the death. The iron maiden is cold so I wasn’t able to make an estimate on the time of death because it would have made Shinko-sama’s body cool faster.”

“I see. What about the injuries themselves?”

“As you’d expect, he had stab wounds across his entire body. However, I believe he was ambushed in some way because there was no sign of a struggle. So…I suppose I could at least tell that much.”

“Even that might prove useful, thanks for your help, Ishikawa-san.”

New Truth Bullet: Ishikawa-san’s Autopsy

The time of death was hard to discern. Though there were no signs of struggle across the body.

“Sly-san, have you been able to tell anything?”

“Not really. I left the autopsy to Ishikawa and just made sure nobody messed with the crime scene. Though while I was here, I was making a list of the different exhibits in the building. I figured that with how extensive this building is, the killer probably used something in one of the other rooms.”

“I know about the torture exhibit and the weapons exhibit, which show different torture devices and weapons throughout the ages respectively…what about the other ones?”

“Monokuma has a room that’s basically a Darwin Award hall of fame called ‘Worlds Wackiest Deaths’. Not much to it, but the killer might have gotten ideas from there…another is a place that has information all about serious calamities from throughout history, like major wars and such. Calls it his ‘History of Death and Destruction’. Finally ‘Non-Murdery Murder tools’ which is just what it sounds like; a bunch of things that aren’t what usually come to mind when you think about killing someone. Needles, syringes, pillows, a sink was in there, a few chemical stuffs as well. The history exhibits are on the second floor along with the library, whilst that non-murder tools thing is here on the top floor.”

“Huh? But don’t the stairs go up higher?”

“Yeah, to the four towers. Nothing much up there except a catapult, though I doubt the killer launched themselves or Shinko’s body.”

“A-ah, yeah. That makes sense.”

New Truth Bullet: Exhibit List

A list of exhibits that exist inside the history building:

Torture Exhibit

Weapons Exhibit

Worlds Wackiest Deaths!

Non-Murdery Murder Tools!

Monokuma's History of death and destruction!

~Ding Dong, Bing Bong~

“Alright, I think I’ve given you all way more than enough time to get this all together, so hurry up and head down to the trial grounds! It’s time we get this trial underway!” Monokuma announced.

“Ah, it’s time…” Ishikawa-san frowned, glancing at Shinko-san’s body. “Let us discover the truth.” Ishikawa-san said before leaving the room.

-Chapter 3 Deadly Life, Trial Grounds-

When we all arrived the door for the elevator was already open, awaiting us to step onto it. “He’s raring to go this time around, huh? Stupid bastard, taking so much satisfaction in this.” Okanaya-kun growled.

“We…we should not worry, everyone! We have survived two class trials already, as long as we work together, we can overcome this trial as well!” Asano-san said, though I don’t know if she was trying to convince everyone else, or just herself.

“…Okanaya-kun, Kirishima-san. I’ll be counting on you two.” I said.

“Of course! We’ll all work together and get through this!” Kirishima-san nodded. I was with them last night, so I feel confident in saying that neither of them is the killer. It’s just figuring who else it could be…

“…’-kun’…?” Kurohiko-san tilted his head. “Odd of you to refer to anyone with something other than ‘-san’, Nagata-san.”

“O-oh?” I hadn’t even noticed that I was doing that.

“…ah. I get it.” Kurohiko-san, for some reason, had a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, Nagata-san. I’m sure it’ll work out.” He winked and walked onto the elevator.

“H-huh? K-Kurohiko-san?!”

“Nagata, c’mon!” Okanaya-kun dragged me onto the elevator and the doors closed behind us. Ugh, why was Kurohiko-san saying weird things at a time where I need to be focused?! We all waited silently as the screeching elevator moved down to the trial ground, opening slowly.

The décor has changed once again, matching the interior of the history building with torches that were barely lighting the room, shackles dangling from the grey stone walls. Monokuma said some usual speech about how we looked despairful and should take our places, but we were already moving whilst he spoke. “Hmm…? Have you already gotten used to this then?” He chuckled under his breath.

I glanced at the two new portraits. Hachi-san’s…instead of a regular X, their face was crossed out with two bloody magic wands, whilst Shinko-san’s face was crossed out with a regular X. We stood ready for another trial…

Toson Shinko, the Ultimate Horror Movie Director. He was rude, abrasive, and narcissistic. It was hard to understand him or even get close to him…but even so, his sharp words kept me on my toes and there’s no doubt in my mind that was just as scared about this situation as the rest of us, he just wanted to appear strong before us all.

Rina Kirishima

Yuuki Kurosaki

Doi Kurohiko

Saori Kibe

Amaterasu Hokama

Despite all that, somebody here is responsible for his death…

Sly

Karma Graves

Junpei Yokozawa

Maemi Watanabe

Kobo Okanaya

Tomoe Hachi

We need to find out who…otherwise we’ll never survive this killing game!

Mami Asano

Toson Shinko

Sadao Irunami

Tsukiko Ishikawa

Ryuu Nagata

And so, the trial of hope and despair…the battle…the third trial begins!

#DKronpa #chapters #danganronpa #fanganronpa #fangan ronpa #danganronpa fangan

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jisunwithtaeandkookie · 6 years

Text

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.14

Summary: Your close friend Taehyung, shares a secret with you, a big secret: You have had a crush on Jimin for the past 6 years. But what he doesn't know is that you have done something bigger than that, something that could destroy many people's lives in seconds. That's a secret for you to keep. But something even bigger is floating in the air: what you have done could destroy BTS's friendship forever...but that's a secret even you don't know yourself.

Pairing: Reader × Jimin/Taehyung ft. Other Members

Genre: Angst (with slight humor)

It was all because of that blog.

"I think it was her..." I heard hushed voices from one of the two girls standing behind me. Despite the fact that there were people standing in the aisle other than me, I knew they were talking about me, and it was mainly because of two reasons: one, they gave me a sceptical look when I passed by them, and two, they were around the same age as me. It all had started with the blog, which, by the way, was recommended to me by Google last night. I know I have said this before, but still...life had a funny way of working out for me.

It was all because of this blog.

7 Things You Need To Notice In The 'Fake Love' MV

And I am not saying you haven't...you probably have. But.. since no one was sure, I went out and researched a little, and found out some pretty interesting things regarding our boys in the new MV following the pretty debatable topic of a chain of events occurring right before the newest release by BTS. For the people who believe it to be a disagreement between the boys caused by the betrayal of some girl...you are pretty right. For some still unclear reasons, it was a dramatic scene between the group, and yes, a girl was involved in it. It was pretty much centered around the vocal line: to be more precise, the maknae line. The most fascinating thing about this is that the reactions of the boys are directly related to their roles in the MV of Fake Love. Today we are going to look at how the boys reacted to it through the MV. You guessed it: 7 members, 7 things to notice.

Jin's Protective Stance: Jin was somehow indirectly involved in the fight involving the girl and the group. As the oldest member of the group, we all can imagine what his reaction was like: he acted as a mediator, trying to calm everything down peacefully. He is believed to have a soft spot for the girl, and naturally, he tried to take the girl's side, even though it did not work out in the end anyway. In the MV, he replicates this by trying to protect a flower inside a glass case (symbolising the girl), but it gets ruined in the end.

Suga's Apathy: Yoongi, more commonly known as Suga, also had an indirect relation to the fight between the members. But unlike Jin, he was against the girl, the main reason being that he cares about the group and wanted to stay silent in the whole process for everyone's greater good. In the MV, he can be seen with his cold glare and his brief but slightly rueful smile while a fire is bursting out beside him.

J-Hope's Desperation: As a member of both the dance line and the rap line, J-Hope always strives for the happiness and unity of the members. He was frustrated by the group's disagreement and can be seen duplicating the frustration by tugging at the door in the MV. After the aforementioned fight, he was the one who was as always desperate to take the group back to its happy days. In the video, he is lying amidst a jungle of rides and snacks which are symbolic to a happy place.

RM's Care For Jungkook: The maknae of the group, apparently, had a big role in causing the fight that broke out a few months ago, and being the caring person that he is, RM was the first one to go after him. In the MV, he can be seen trying to touch his reflection in the mirror, except it is Jungkook standing at the other end of it.

Jimin's Depression: Jimin was the one of the two members to be 'betrayed', and he shows that through his extremely sad persona that he adopted during the MV. He is also seen standing quietly in the middle of a room which is slowly getting flooded by water coming from both sides from behind him. It's as if he doesn't care anymore.

V's Everything: V, more commonly known as Taehyung among ARMYs, is the second member in the 'betrayal' series, and he doesn't hold back in the MV: everything he does symbolises the pain he went through during the fight. From his phone turning into sand, to his 4D glare at the screen, to even the SAVE ME written on the wall in front of him, everything directly shows us his feelings. Another mentionable thing is how he is alone in the MV....yes, everyone is alone in the video at some point, but except the dance scenes, V is never shown to be anywhere near any other member of the group. Instead he is in a dark cave: he is ALONE alone.

Jungkook's Guilt: Jungkook, according to some sources, had a major role in actually causing the drama among the group, and he obviously feels guilty about that. We can see that through his actions in the MV. He is watching over the members secretly, to check if they are happy. He is also shown holding sand, symbolising the relationship between the group after the drama, while hearts are flying out of it, symbolising the mended relationship and his true desires. In the end, he is shown to enter a dark place which comes out suddenly, presumably because of his gnawing guilt.

With everything said, I just wanted to say that I am glad the boys are okay, and I sincerely hope they stay that way. You all are free to not believe it: after all, this is just a speculation based on my research, it might not be true anyways. Also, what happened, or why it happened is still unclear. I am not going to say anything about the girl's identity...because I don't want to ruin anyone's life. (Let's just say that some people might have seen her around the group...or the maknae line.) Another thing I wanted to say: this MV is not just built out of a frustration of the fight, it does have connections to the alternate universe thing they have got going on. It just doesn't hurt to kill two birds with one stone, you know.....they are not famous for nothing anyway, right?

I sighed as I recalled the contents of the blog. Amazing.

"Is it really her..?" I heard the other girl speak, and I turned around. Without looking at any one of them, I left the aisle, leaving the store altogether.

And I didn't even get what I came here for. This was not going to be good for me at all.

On my way home, I took a different route which passed through a rather quieter area than my usual path. You can probably guess why. As far as I knew, it was not going downhill anytime soon; in fact, it was still going uphill, even though I had thought it had reached its peak. But hey, what do you know, when it comes down to bad luck.....it's me, the luckiest girl in the world, right?

Fake Love...were the lyrics also about me?

Immersed in my thoughts, I almost collided with a girl who was walking in the opposite direction. "Sorry about that." I said, embarrassed.

Instead of replying, she frowned. "You have been here before, haven't you?" I looked around. The Teddy Bear shop. Great. "I have seen you before around here. With-"

"You know what, I've really gotta go." I said and hurried past her, ignoring her feeble "Oh, okay", before she could figure anything else out.

I felt like I was at a risk of being caught anywhere. Even though I didn't know what would actually happen if I was, but something told me I didn't want to find out.

Almost jogging till I reached the end of the road, I put my leg forward to go across, frowning. You're being totally paranoid Y/N. It might be that not many people had read the blog. It might be possible that the girl from before didn't know about the blog, she just recognised me from the place?

I was suddenly yanked back to the side of the road, as a car passed by the spot I was just standing on. Do that a couple more times, Y/N, and you'll end up killing yourself before any of the ARMYs get to you anyway. "Oh my God," I whispered to myself.

"Are you okay-"

"Y/N-ah?" I heard this voice coming from a few steps away, and breaking out of the grasp of my saviour, I turned around and took a few slow steps towards him. "Jungkook..." I said, my gaze transfixed on him.

He gave a little laugh. "So we're on a full name basis now?" I didn't reply, and he sighed. "It's okay, I don't think we're that close anymore anyway." He added, very slowly.

"Kook!" I exclaimed.

He looked unsure. "You lied to me, Chocolate. You said you didn't come to the airport."

I gasped. "Oh my God....you know?" I had unintentionally lied to my best friend. Great.

"Of course he does." I heard from behind Jungkook, and we both looked at Tae coming up slowly towards us. "Tae.." I whispered, my eyes becoming a little moist at remembering what I had done to him, all of my feelings rushing back to me...what I felt for him, how I had hurt him, everything.

He looked at me for one long second, scaring me with his blank gaze. "Tell me, do you care about anyone's feelings at all?"

"Tae...I do! Damnit, why are you saying that?"

"Why am I saying that? Well, for starters, because you are so oblivious, that you didn't even thank the person who just saved you."

I turned around. He was still standing there, looking down. And, wow....this day just kept getting better and better.

"Oh my God, Jimin...I-"

He waved a dismissive hand at me. "I know what you're going to say so, no need."

"Tsk tsk tsk, really?" I closed my eyes at Tae's voice.

"Hyung, she said sorry like a million times already." I turned around to see Jungkook talking to Tae. He was...defending me?

"You're defending her?" Tae asked on my behalf, pointing at me. "Her? She lied to you...you should have been angrier!"

Jungkook looked back at me tenderly. "I am not angry. I'm just....disappointed." He turned around to go. I felt my heart breaking into pieces. I had betrayed my best friend. My Kookie. What was I doing with my life?

"Jungkook-" He cut me off. "I will talk to you later, okay?" Saying that slowly without turning around, he left. Left me alone with Jimin and Tae. We stood quietly for a short while, which felt like decades to me.

"Do you have anything to say to at least one of us?" Tae asked me. This time, his tone was telling me that it was not sarcastic, it was as if he really wanted to know. Well, maybe.

"Go easy on her." Jimin said, walking towards us to stand in front of me.

"I am! I asked her if she has decided who she likes."

"Will you hear me out?" I said, looking at him. He looked back at me, saying nothing.

"Will you hear me out if I say I have?"

"Have you?" He looked sharply at me.

I looked down. "No. Because I don't want to live a dream that is never going to come true." No one said anything for a long while following my statement. They just kept looking at me, with a totally different expression than each other. I wondered what each of them thought about me now.

"Y/N..." Jimin finally whispered weakly.

"Jimin, I am really sorry for what happened that night before Tae came." I saw Tae flinch, looking away from me. I looked back at Jimin. "I just want you to know that I had no bad intentions for you, nor was I playing with your feelings. It's just about the moment...and you seemed to be perfect in that one. I understand if you haven't forgiven me, I completely do."

"You have said sorry before, you don't need to say it again." He replied.

"Because he hasn't forgiven you." Tae interjected.

"Tae." Jimin gave him a sharp look, then turned back to me. "Look, Y/N, you really have to come clean with your feelings here. It's just...important for sorting everything out, if not for anything else."

I nodded. "Yeah. I understand."

"I said the same thing a few minutes ago, but now you understand." Tae said again.

"Tae, enough!" Jimin said sharply.

"So I should just say nothing here? Is that what you want?" Tae rolled his eyes.

"What I want is for us to go. It's time, anyway." Jimin said, looking at me gently. "Fine by me." Tae complied almost too quickly, turning around to go. "See you later, Y/N."

I frowned at his unpredictable behaviour, until I heard Jimin chuckle softly. "What's so funny?" I frowned in confusion.

He looked flustered. "Oh, um....nothing."

"So you just laugh at anything, then?" A smile tugged at my lips.

"What's the harm in that?" He grinned like he always used to do. His laugh was the best thing in the whole world. I have said it before, I know.

"Keep laughing like that." I smiled. "It makes me worried when you don't."

His smile faded, and he looked sideways. "I've gotta go, actually." He turned around, but I grabbed his hand to make him turn back and look at me. "Uh, Jimin....thank you for um...pulling me to you..no, that's not right...I mean-"

"Y/N." He said, chuckling, cutting me off. "See you around, maybe." He left, not stopping a second after that, leaving me alone. I sighed and hung my head low. Standing at the footpath, I suddenly felt exhausted, and alone. Very alone.

"So that was interesting."

"Gah! Okay," I closed my eyes in attempt to recover from the shock the person in front of me had given me. "You have to be everywhere." I added, rolling my eyes.

He shrugged. "I do." He said in his same deadpan tone.

I frowned. "You know smiling occasionally doesn't hurt your brain, right?"

"Doesn't hurt my brain, but hurts my image."

"Uh-huh," I cocked my head sideways amusingly, "and what's that?"

"The brooding and mysterious type."

"You sound like a vampire." I narrowed my eyes.

"Maybe I am one."

"You do know vampires don't sleep at all, right?"

"Oh, then a big no." He frowned. "But do you know I did not mean it literally?"

"Yeah." I took a few steps back. "Stay away from you all, I got the message when you said this to me at the airport anyway."

"Glad." And with that, he left as quickly as he had come.

I could hear a faint sound in the distance...a song was playing nearby.

I'm so sick of this Fake Love, Fake Love...

I needed to get out of here right now.

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.14

Part 13//Part 14//Part 15

For other parts and the MASTERLIST, please refer to the link to the story in my bio. Thank you for reading!

I. Am. So. Relieved, you guys. I can't tell you how terrible I felt for not uploading for so long...and I really really hope you like this update. It took me the most time out of all of the parts so far. And also, if you have anything at all to say, you can ask me, because I am definitely not staring at my phone for hours waiting for your asks, nope, I definitely don't do that. Stay updated, and happy reading!

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charlotteroseessex-blog · 6 years

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Web of Lies or Web of Ties?

Let me just start by asking you a question.

How many people do you actually know that you follow on Instagram?

Imagine scrolling through your ‘following’ list right now. How many of the accounts would you be able to confidently say you know personally? Not just know of through a friend of friend of their brothers girlfriend, but actually, seriously, can call a legitimate worthy friend?

These days, people use social media to follow and connect with friends, family and also influencers and celebrities who are considered relevant to their lives and goal. ‘Following’ is a crucial process in every users experience and can become misused tool when the element of connectivity is abused, especially if you begin to share private photos with people you don’t really know. The most followed accounts on Instagram belong to Cristiano Ronaldo (152.62 million) and Selena Gomez (144.75 million). Regular people who may not have even met either celebrity will follow them in order to keep updated with upcoming music releases or football team transfers because the information is perceived important to their lives. In adjunct to this information, it is worth admitting that we, as the general public, seek factual or even pointless knowledge about regular people that is unlikely to be beneficial for us to learn. It’s a strange concept, but we now live most of our lives online whereby everything is accessible and this is making us become reliant on instant gratification when seeking information regarding other people’s business (basically, we are just nosy).

Take the incident, for example, which broke the internet in 2018 when Kylie Jenner's secret pregnancy was finally revealed, after a year of speculation, with the birth of her daughter, Stormy. Now I’m not sure about you, but I was shamefully interested in the news way more than I should have been for someone other wise unbothered by other celebrity pregnancies. Online communities stalked the Jenner in what should have been a private journey through the beginnings of motherhood, which exploded with posts and images about the new arrival as soon as the hint of information was published. Now, unfortunately I don’t actually know any of the Kardashians nor do their life choices affect me in any way, shape or form... so why do I even care? Well truthfully, it’s because it’s shoved in all of our faces by every social media platform we are on and there’s really no escaping it, so naturally you kinda become interested. I think every man and their nan got a little hype from the announcement of Stormy’s birth.

Social networking sites, like Facebook, are becoming more accessible to people of all ages due to their attractable features targeting basically every age category. There’s news coverage for the oldies and games for the young'uns (one word, Farmville). Users now as young as 13, which is the minimum age requirement, can create an active profile which encourages them to take their first few steps into the addictive world of social networking. Now, I know I speak for a lot of millennials when I say that this never happens. I joined Facebook when I was 10 years old. I’m no mathematician but even I can assure you that rules were broken when I ticked the ‘Terms and Conditions’ section when confirming my false age of about 33 before accessing my Facebook profile. Everyone did it because no one wanted to be that one weirdo going into secondary school without a Facebook account.

So why is being online so desirable? I mean why else do kids break the age bracket by lying about their truthful year of birth? Well, the initial idea of being online is exciting. I mean there is literally no other platform that allows you to choose a profile picture, share funny posts and engage in group chats with friends after school. But this is merely the makeup of Facebook. Think of the features on Facebook as the high coverage foundation covering up the scars and cracks hidden on a site able to save information and build your digital footprint as well as selling this same data to external companies. I mean??? To consider kids as young as 13 becoming active online is slightly alarming.

Little 10-year-old me was definitely unaware of all the potential dangers awaiting me as soon as I activated my online profile. Younger people are becoming more and more active on social networking sites which makes the issue of ‘stranger danger’ even more prominent. Especially when I was new to social networking, the element of cyber attacks or bullying was only just being uncovered, so in a sense, the awareness we have for the internet now is more educated despite the dangers still being there. But who’s to say the users are any more careful than they were before? There are cases of people being scammed or ‘catfished’ over Facebook or something, but there’s never a bone in your body that thinks that will ever be applicable to you. The dangers of being online are endless, but now it has reached a point where some bad experiences have become entertaining for others intrigued and excited by online horror stories.

4 words.

Catfish the TV show.

The fact that this show has achieved 7 successful seasons in the 7 years it’s been running, outlines the overall crisis that false identities and accounts have and still are destroying real lives. The cases that are investigated by Nev Schulman and Max Joseph are outrageous and most of the time so far fetched you wonder how these people couldn’t recognise the Catfish themselves. However, the manipulation and deception highlighted on the show presents social networking as a vulnerable world for those unaware of the intentions of those wanting to serve you harm. I mean, who’s to say the online friend you made on Facebook is actually who she claims to be. Yes, her picture might look legit and her friends may also seem believable, but nowadays, you can never ben too careful. She could be using her friends image in order to be perceived by others as someone prettier or skinnier or she may even be a he. Imagine a 50 year old man sat in his scabby 1 bedroom flat, who used the image found on google to befriend other young girls, whilst adding a nearby college as her ‘place of education’ in order to easily befriend unsuspecting students from the college who assume acquaintances purely based on their same place of education. It’s probably easier than it sounds.

But still, how many people do you actually know online?

Being accepted as a friend or being followed on social media can create a feeling of acceptance and gratification, but who are we really letting in? Are the pressures of society in being a certain weight or height, making an individual's hatred and discontent towards themselves a toxic driving force towards the increasing rate of falsified representations? The idolisation of more successful people, naturally evokes some sort of admiration and can even lead to a self comparison with someone so vastly different from yourself, we end up wishing ourselves to be something else - longer legs, bigger biceps, rounder lips, you name it, we’ve all thought it. Is the growth in catfishing others with personas deemed more attractive than our own, a progression towards a less unique generation? It’s no secret that the younger generation are all starting to look the same. After all, we are all influenced by the same few models and fashion bloggers who sport a similar appearance, like the small sunglasses perched at the end of their perfect button noses serving no purpose whatsoever other than an extension of the nose.

Not only is Catfishing a betrayal of social networking, but it is also a solid representation in how online communities can violate the privacy of others if the information provided to and by others is false. To address the mishaps of online communities and understanding the weak ties with some followers, it is worth delving into the realms of Instagram - the Queen of all user generated contents. Here, users are able to depict whatever persona they desire, true or false. Most accounts on Instagram post aesthetically pleasing images which are followed by those interested in the fashion it features or the interior design included in the backdrop. The communities created here share common interests despite being unofficial acquaintances with one another. In being so inspired by certain feeds, we often find ourselves trying to replicate influential or successful users so to achieve a similar sort of popularity. But how realistic is this new representation of ourselves? Potentially, this could also be classed as a form of catfishing, as even though you are the same 20 year old female displayed in your photos, the clothes and hair and makeup IS NOT YOU. The interests and persona you have created online is simply a replica of someone else. Is this just another symbolic reference of being a catfish? And are we now catfishing ourselves in becoming something or someone we no longer recognise online?

Younger users are the most likely to befriend strangers due to their naivety of experience in the application. Luckily, Facebook is a bound system which SHOULD make accessing profiles and private information less easy to access (depending on the privacy controls) until a friend request is accepted. The factorship of age and difference in online awareness is important when considering the reasons why users embark on adding others online. I remember my own first hype of Facebook as, when I was 10 and new to the world of online networking, my initial desire was to add as many people as I could in order to gage the most amount of friends. Why? Because I did what every other kid in the world was doing and didn’t want to be the outsider with less than 1,000 friends. In doing so, I dismissed the dangers of accepting a request from someone I didn’t know and instead embraced the extra friend regardless of ‘stranger danger’. In addressing this naivety at such a young age, it has bought annoyance upon my feed in recent years when I am still inundated with people I don't even know. My Facebook timeline was, until recently, filled with strangers status updates I didn’t care about. Now, 10 years later and having unfollowed and defriended those irrelevant strangers and to return my profile to a safe and bounded system, I am more cautious in my privacy settings as well as the information I choose to share. In being older and, I like to think, more wiser towards the dangers of Facebook and those using it as a platform to abuse, my profile is purely used for communication for those I maintain strong ties with. My point is that social networking, despite being intended for bound systemic usage, has the potential to allow strangers into a personal world of expression.

The element of ‘stranger danger’ is prevalent on all day to day social networking sites and has recently developed into an entertainment theme. Not only is false identity the main purpose behind the TV show Catfish, as well as exposing and raising awareness for recognising false identities, but it’s also become a popular genre in the thriller category on Netflix. I would be lying if I denied the entertainment value of these movies and documentaries, as sad as that may be. We live in a world now where traumatic, horrific and impossible events prevail to be the most popular watches amongst the general public. Watching dramas and films created at the expense of others life-changing online experiences merely shock audiences nowadays due to the normality of cases whereby people are tricked into situations others would say ‘well you should have seen it coming’. The shrugging of shoulders when cases of catfishing or identity thefts are reported are becoming more and more acceptable in their regular occurrences and barely now even make the headlines.

Netflix capitalises on cases such as stalking, identity theft and catfishing in order to present, for the film hungry public, an endless binge watching of tragic cases of unsuspecting victims. One of the most recent movies to have been released on Netflix, is psychological thriller ‘Cam’ which follows a young webcam girl down a pathway of self destruction when her identity is stolen and then replicated by an anonymous user who benefits from her achieved success in her career. This film represents the repercussions of living your life online and over sharing information to a network of followers unknown to you. ‘Cam’ leads you on a journey which sees the obsession with not only being liked online, but also the growing fixation in achieving the largest following in order to reach self-love and acception.

The entertainment world has hugely profited from the mishaps of social media and the victims of others abuse of it. I often wonder the main attraction for creating false profiles online, or even stealing others, as my personal use for social networking is to engage with friends, the real life friends I actually know. The intention for users who create false identities in order to befriend and scam random innocent people, which is usually financially motivated, is honestly one of the most tragic pathways a human being can embark on. Just get a life? It’s not only putting regular people’s privacy in danger, but it also makes being online a concept of which some people do all they can to remain as far away from as possible or take regular breaks from social media altogether. And truthfully, the way in which social networking is spiralling, I don’t blame them.

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garywonghc · 6 years

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This Is My Mind, Luminous and Empty

by Tsoknyi Rinpoche

As a young child I used to sit on my grandfather’s lap while he meditated. At two or three years old, of course, I had no idea what meditation involved. My grandfather didn’t give me instructions and didn’t speak to me about his own experience. Yet, as I sat with him I felt a sense of deep comfort, together with a kind of childlike fascination with whatever was going on around me. I felt myself becoming aware of something becoming brighter and more intense in my own body, my own mind, my own heart.

That something, when I was old enough to fit words to it, is a kind of spark that lights the lives of all living beings. It has been given various names by people of many different disciplines, and its nature has been debated for centuries.

In many Buddhist teachings, it’s known as buddhanature. The term is a very rough translation of two Sanskrit words, often used interchangeably: sugatagarbha or tathagatagarbha. Sugata may be roughly understood as “gone to bliss,” while thatagata is usually interpreted as “thus-gone.” Both refer to those, like the Buddha, who have transcended, or “gone beyond,” conflict, delusion, or suffering of any kind — a condition one might reasonably understand as “blissful.” Garbha is most commonly translated as “essence,” although on a subtle level, it may also suggest “seed” or “root.” So a more accurate translation of buddhanature might be the essence of one who has gone beyond conflict, delusion, and so on to an experience of unclouded bliss. One of the core teachings of Buddhism is that we all possess this essence, this root or seed.

Buddhanature is hard to describe, largely because it is limitless. It’s a bit difficult to contain the limitless within the sharp boundaries of words and images. Although the actual experience of touching our awakened nature defies absolute description, a number of people over the past two millennia have at least tried to illuminate a course of action using words that serve as lights along the way.

EMPTINESS

Traditionally, one of the words that describes the basis of who and what we are — indeed, the basis of all phenomena — has been translated as emptiness; a word that, at first glance, might seem a little scary, a suggestion, supported by early translators and interpreters of Buddhist philosophy, that there is some sort of void at the centre of our being.

Most of us, at some point in our lives, have experienced some sort of emptiness. We’ve wondered “What am I doing here?” Here may be a job, a relationship, a home, a body with creaking joints, a mind with fading memories.

If we look deeper, though, we can see that the void we may experience in our lives is actually a positive prospect.

Emptiness is a rough translation of the Sanskrit term shunyata and the Tibetan term tongpa-nyi. The basic meaning of the Sanskrit word shunya is “zero,” while the Tibetan word tongpa means “empty” — but not in the sense of a vacuum or a void, but rather in the sense that the basis of experience is beyond our ability to perceive with our senses and or to capture in a nice, tidy concept. Maybe a better understanding of the deep sense of the word may be “inconceivable” or “unnameable.”

So when Buddhists talk about emptiness as the basis of our being, we don’t mean that who or what we are is nothing, a zero, a point of view that can give way to a kind of cynicism. The actual teachings on emptiness imply an infinitely open space that allows for anything to appear, change, disappear, and reappear. The basic meaning of emptiness, in other words, is openness, or potential. At the basic level of our being, we are “empty” of definable characteristics. We aren’t defined by our past, our present, or our thoughts and feelings about the future. We have the potential to experience anything. And anything can refer to thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations.

AN EMPTINESS EXERCISE

I’d like to give you a little taste of emptiness through a practice that has become known as “objectless shinay!’ Shinay is a Tibetan term, a combination of two words: shi — which is commonly translated as calmness or peace — and nay, which means resting, or simply “staying there.” In Sanskrit, this practice is known as shamatha. Like shi, shama may be understood in a variety of ways, including “peace,” “rest,” or “cooling down,” while tha, like nay, means to “abide” or “stay.” Whether in Sanskrit or Tibetan, the combination terms describe a process of cooling down from a state of mental, emotional, or sensory excitement.

Most of us, when we look at something, hear something, or experience a thought or motion, react almost automatically with some sort of judgement. This judgement can fall into three basic categories: pleasant (“I like this”), unpleasant (“I don’t like this”), or confused (“I don’t know whether I like this or not.”) Each of these categories is often subdivided into smaller categories: pleasant experiences are judged as “good,” for example; unpleasant experiences are judged as “bad.” As far as one student expressed it, the confused judgement is just too puzzling: “I usually try to push it out of my mind and focus on something else.” The possibilities represented by all these different responses, however, tempt us to latch onto our judgements and the patterns that underlie them, undermining our attempt to distinguish between real and true.

There are many varieties of shinay or shamatha practice. The one that most closely approaches an experiential rather than a theoretical understanding of emptiness is known commonly as “objectless,” because it doesn’t involve — as some other variations do — focusing attention on a particular object, like a sound, or a smell, or a physical thing like a flower, a crystal, or a candle flame.

The instructions for this meditation are simple:

* Just straighten your spine while keeping the rest of your body relaxed. * Take a couple of deep breaths. * Keep your eyes open, though not so intently that your eyes begin to burn or water. You can blink. But just notice yourself blinking. Each blink is an experience of nowness. * Now, let yourself be aware of everything you’re experiencing — sights, sounds, physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions. * Allow yourself to be open to all these experiences.

Inevitably, as you begin this exercise, all sorts of thoughts, feelings, and sensations will pass through your experience. This is to be expected. This little exercise is in many ways like starting a weight-training program at the gym. At first you can lift only a few pounds for a few repetitions before your muscles get tired. But if you keep at it, gradually you’ll find that you can lift heavier weights and perform more repetitions.

Similarly, learning to connect with nowness is a gradual process. At first you might be able to remain open for only a few seconds at a time before thoughts, emotions, and sensations bubble up to the surface and consume your attention. The basic instruction is simply not to chase after these but merely to be aware of everything that passes through your awareness as it is. Whatever you experience, you don’t have to suppress it. Even latching onto irritations — ”Oh, I wish that kid next door could turn down his music.” “I wish the family upstairs would stop yelling at each other” — are part of the present. Just observe these thoughts and feelings come and go — and how quickly they come and go, to be replaced by others. If you keep doing this you’ll get a true taste of emptiness — a vast, open space in which possibilities emerge and combine, dance together for a while, and vanish with astonishing rapidity. You’ve tasted one aspect of your basic nature, which is the freedom to experience anything and everything.

Don’t criticise or condemn yourself if you find yourself following after physical sensations, thoughts, or emotions. No one becomes a buddha overnight. Recognise, instead, that for a few seconds you were directly able to experience something new, something now. You’ve passed through theory and ventured into the realm of experience. As we begin to let our experiences come and go, we begin to see them as less solid. They may be real, but we begin to question whether they’re true.

Experience follows intention. Wherever we are, whatever we do, all we need to do is recognise our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions as something natural. Neither rejecting nor accepting, we simply acknowledge the experience and let it pass. If we keep this up, we’ll eventually find ourselves becoming able to manage situations we once found painful, scary, or sad. We’ll discover a sense of confidence that isn’t rooted in arrogance or pride. We’ll realize that we’re always sheltered, always safe, and always home.

CLARITY

The exercise described above raises another aspect of our basic nature, and now I’m going to let you in on a little bit of unconventional understanding.

As mentioned earlier, according to many standard Tibetan translations, the syllable nyi means “ness” — the essential quality of a thing. But I was taught that the nyi of tongpa-nyi, on a symbolic level, refers to clarity: the capacity to be aware of all the things we experience, to see the stuff of our experience and to know that we’re seeing it.

This capacity is the cognisant aspect of our nature: a very simple, basic capability for awareness. This basic, or natural, awareness is merely a potential. Just as emptiness is a capacity to be anything, clarity is the capacity to see anything that enables us to recognise and distinguish the unlimited variety of thoughts, feelings, sensations, and appearances that continually emerge out of emptiness. Without clarity, we wouldn’t be able to recognise or identify any aspect of our experience. It’s not connected with awareness of any particular thing. Awareness of a thing — in terms of a subject (the one who is aware) and an object (the thing, experience, etc., of which the subject is aware) — is something we learn as we grow up.

This cognisant, or knowing, aspect of our nature is often described in Tibetan as o-sel-wa, which can also be translated as luminosity — a fundamental capacity to illuminate, or shed light on, our experiences and, thus, to know or be aware of them. In his teachings, the Buddha sometimes compared it to a house in which a lamp has been lit and the shades or shutters have been drawn. The house represents the patterns that bind us to a seemingly solid perspective of ourselves and the world around us. The lamp represents our luminous quality of the spark of our basic nature. No matter how tightly the shades and shutters are closed, inevitably a bit of the light from inside the house shines through. Inside the house, the light from the lamp provides the clarity to distinguish between, say, a chair, a bed, or a carpet — which corresponds to our personal thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. As this light seeps through the shades or shutters we see other things — people, places, or events. Such experiences may be dualistic; that is to say, a tendency to perceive our experience in terms of self and other, “me” and “not me,” but if we take a moment even to appreciate such glimpses we can arrive at a deeper, broader experience of basic, or natural clarity.

MEDITATION: TASTING CLARITY

To experience clarity it is often necessary to embark on another shamatha exercise, this time using a formal object as the focus of our attention. I advise using a physical object, like a clear glass, because that object is already clear and transparent. Start off by setting such an object where it can easily be seen whether you’re sitting in a chair, on a meditation cushion, or on the floor.

Take a few moments to rest in objectless shamatha, in order to open yourself to experience. Then look at the object you’ve chosen — no longer than a minute for a little while — a process that isn’t all that different from staring at a TV screen or a person ahead of us in a line at a grocery store.

Then, slowly, slowly, turn your attention from the object of attention to the aspect of your being that is capable of perceiving objects. Recognise your ability to simply see and experience things. This ability is all too often taken for granted.

When we first begin to rest our attention on an object, we tend to see it as distinct or separate from ourselves. The capacity to make such distinctions is, according to neuroscientists and psychologists with whom I’ve spoken, in part a survival mechanism that helps us distinguish between objects in our environment that can harm us and objects that can help us. This survival mechanism, in turn, influences our internal sense of “I” as uniquely defined beings — solid and separate from “not I.”

Now, let’s just take a taste of clarity.

* First, just rest in open presence. * Then turn your attention to the object on which you’ve chosen to focus. Thoughts, feelings, and judgements about the object will almost inevitably arise: “This is pretty.” “This is ugly.” “This is — I don’t know — it’s just a glass.” You may even wonder, as I did many years ago when I was first taught this practice, “Why am I doing this?” * The point of the practice — the “why” of it — lies in the next step. * After focusing for a few moments on an object, turn your attention inward, from the object to the awareness that perceives not only the object, but also the various thoughts, feelings, judgements surrounding it.

As you do so, a very gentle experience of what many of my teachers called “awareness of being aware” emerges. You’ll begin to recognise that whatever you see, however you see it, is accompanied by emotional, and cognitive residue — the stuff that remains from being a neglected child, a failure in the eyes of parents or teachers, the victim of a schoolyard bully.

When we turn our awareness inward, we begin to decompress the images we hold about ourselves and the world around us. In so doing, we begin to use the process of distinction rather than be used by it. We begin to see how past experiences might turn into present patterns. We glimpse the possibility of a connection between what we see and our capacity to see.

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we-are-all-obsessed-here · 7 years

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Heart Strings And Melodies (Modern Musician!Poe AU) Part 2

(Not my Gif)

Summary: It’s been three weeks since Reader first met Poe, slowly they’re beginning to get to know each other better, especially when Poe is invited to an engagement party. (Because after writing the first one I was inundated with ideas for more parts and so if people want it or not, you’ll be seeing a few more parts of this)

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Masterlist

Three weeks had passed since you had first entered D’Qar, it’s quaint little style and atmosphere had grown on you insurmountably. You found the bar was somewhere beyond relaxing after a long day at work, and with the Christmas holiday season coming closer and closer, it meant you were in dire need of more down time. Gratefully you found out the bar was open during the day as well, serving coffee and a small range of food; since the bar wasn’t too far away from home, you found yourself making several trips a week at the end of your work shift to just sit and have a coffee and a sandwich. “Hey Finn.” You called as you entered the bar. Finn called your name excitably as you stepped over to the bar. “Another long day?” Finn asked you as he grabbed one of the tall coffee mugs and placed it on the coffee machine. “Don’t get me started. My flat is covered in papers that I’ve been taking home to get all sorted. They’re beginning to pile up. I can’t wait until Christmas has passed, it’ll calm down then.” You explained, perching yourself at the bar. You shrugged the blazer you were wearing off your shoulders, the black tie around your neck joined it after a moment, with deft fingers you unfastened the top buttons of your shirt. A huff left your lips as you leaned over the bar, your fingers brushing against the white tall mug Finn had just placed in front of you. “Thanks Finn, You smiled at the man behind the bar. “Hows everything going with the bar recently?” You add. “It’s going great, I mean when I’ve been on shift, it’s been pretty busy on a night, less so during the day but it means I can practice.” He nodded happily. “Practice?” You question. “Oh yeah! Poe has been teaching me how to play guitar, but I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as he is.” “Oh neat! I bet you’re better than what you think!” You enthused. “Hey are you coming to watch him play again tonight?” Finn asked curiously. “Back again are we?” A voice interrupted as a plate was placed on the bar beside you. You greeted the familiar kitchen staff before they disappeared back in the kitchen. “Yeah, I should be.” “Should be? You’re usually eager to come by.” Finn questioned. “I’m pretty exhausted, the idea of cuddling up in bed with a nice coffee is really tempting. David and Ryan are on about coming though.” You explain. “Well, if you do decide to stay home, pretty sure Poe will miss seeing you.” Finn commented. “Finn, believe me, with the number of women who are beginning to fawn over him, he’ll be too busy buying them drinks to realise I’m not there.” You smiled softly, taking a bite of the sandwich on your plate. “You do realise you’re the only person Poe’s ever bought a drink for?” Finn cocked a brow. You were taken back by the revelation, deciding to take more bites of your sandwich to avoid giving a response.

A knock at your door had you hopping over to answer it while tugging on a blue suede boot. You almost lost your balance as you swung the door open, your foot landing on the floor just in time to regain balance. “Hello you two!” You beamed, motioning with your hand to let them in. “Wow, who dropped a paper bomb in here?” Ryan laughed, his gaze darting around your living room. “That would be me. Work is piling up big time. It’s starting to stress me out.” You mumbled, a frown on your face. “Sounds like you definitely need a break.” David replied. “More like I’ve been procrastinating for hours and now a drink is needed. Desperately. So I don’t feel as shit as I have been.” You complained. “Come on then, lets get going.” Ryan said, grabbing your leather jacket and holding it open for you to shrug on. Once you’d picked up your bag, you grabbed your keys and guided your friends out of your apartment. You shivered as the cold winter air bit at the back of your neck and brushed over your exposed hands. An abrupt warmth covering the back on your neck startled you, causing you to spin on your feet to look behind you. Walking in quick steps to eventually walk in step beside you, your gaze fell on the familiar musician. His dark curls were slightly messy, but fashionably so, a bright smile was plastered on his face. Your fingers brushed over the soft material of the scarf that had been placed around your neck. “You do realise its winter right?” Poe asked with a cocked brow. “Yeah, I didn’t think it was this cold though.” You answered. Poe offered you a kind smile as he brought an end of the scarf around the front of your neck and tossed it over your shoulder. “You got any new stuff tonight?” Ryan asked excitedly. “You’ll just have to wait and see!” Poe said playfully. The musician pulled the lapels of his long black winter coat around his face as he let out a breath that came out in a white cloud. “Here.” You went to take off the scarf but Poe covered your hand with his. “No I’m good, we’re almost there anyway.” He smiled at you. You averted your gaze from his to glance down at the guitar case he was carrying. It was solid black, though it was covered in stickers, some you recognised though others you didn’t, especially an odd shaped deep orange symbol. Poe followed your gaze to the symbol. “Resistance.” He told you. “Resistance?” “The symbol,” Poe held the case up and let his fingers brush over the coloured sticker. “It’s from a group I was a part of a long time ago. Its a big part of my past, I miss them from time to time.” Poe explained to you. “Its sweet you carry them with you.” You noted. “I never thought of it like that.” He beamed down at you.

As you entered the bar, shouting a quick hello to Finn, Poe disappeared to ready himself for his set. David, Ryan and you settled at the bar, sorting out what you would be drinking for the night. “So you made it after all?” Finn smiled knowingly. “Believe me, I would’ve just been moping in my apartment. I haven’t had a great afternoon.” You admitted. “Well I’m sure a drink and a bit of music will cheer you up.” Finn offered. “I hope you’re right.” You replied. “Lets find somewhere to sit.” Ryan spoke after you were all served your drinks. As David stepped away from the bar, carrying the drinks on a tray, Ryan following close behind, you gave Finn a quick wave as you began to follow them. “Your usual table is free!” Finn called over the chatter at the bar. You gave him a thumbs up before calling over to your friends and motioning towards your table near the stage. As you stepped over to the round table, a small folded sign had been placed on the table, the word ‘Reserved’ written across it. You looked over your shoulder to Finn, giving him knowing look, he simply shrugged with a grin on his face. After sitting at the table, you took note of the yellow tulips sat in the small vase in the centre of the table. You shook your head softly, your fingers brushing over the smooth outer petals. A number of whistles and applause made you look towards the stage. Poe grinned at the crowd’s reaction as he stepped onto the stage, his guitar in hand as he perched himself on the wooden stool in the centre. You took a sip of your drink to try and distract yourself from the beaming smile he sent in your direction as his gaze met yours. There was no denying that Poe was one very handsome man, both inside and out, he was much different from many men you’d met before. Still the night carried on, Poe beginning his set with a song, you noted, that was one you’d told him you liked. You couldn’t help glancing around the room, each and every person was enthralled by Poe’s playing. A soft smile made its way onto your face as you turned back to face the stage. Poe continued to play, taking small breaks in-between songs to take a sip of cool water, his music filled the room and drifted out into the street, bringing passing people into the bar with curiosity. You were proud of how popular Poe was becoming, with each song he finished the applause increased, the smile on his face widening each time. “Okay final song for tonight-“ A wave of groans echoed across the bar, making Poe chuckle brightly. “I’m back next week.” He calmed the crowd with a smile on his face. Poe finished his set with a lively song, his fingers travelling along the strings quickly and skilfully, his foot bouncing along with the song.

“So what did you guys think?” Poe questioned as he sat down beside you, his arm going around your shoulders. “Amazing! Your new stuff is really something!” Ryan enthused. “You’re getting better every week!” David added. “Thanks, I guess I got a new spring of inspiration recently.” Poe looked over to you, a gentle look in his gaze. “Poe, we’re having an engagement party next week, do you fancy coming along?” David questioned. “Engagement?” Poe wondered. “Oh yeah, I asked Ryan to marry me at the weekend.” David explained. “It was really romantic.” Ryan added with a bashful smile. “I love celebrations! I’d love to join you!” Poe enthused. “Will you be coming?” Poe asked curiously, his gaze on you. “Of course! I’m the one helping them set up!” You grinned. The four of you sat for a while, drinking and chatting happily. As you yawned for the third time in several minutes, you glanced down at your watch. “Damn I should get going! Armitage wants me in early tomorrow.” You groaned. “You sure you have to leave so soon?” Poe asked. “I’m afraid so,” You told him as you stood, shrugging on your leather jacket then fastening it all the way up. “I suppose I’ll see you all on Friday. Goodnight guys.” You call as you backed away from the table. The small group waved and bid you goodnight. You hurried home, the cold winter air becoming even more icy than when you had first stepped out of your apartment. With cold hands you wrapped the scarf around your neck tighter, upon touching the soft fabric you let out a soft curse. You’d forgotten to give Poe his scarf back. You turned on your feet, wondering whether to turn back to return it to him. With a shake of your head, you recalled you’d be seeing him in just a couple days time and decided you’d give it back to him then. After stepping into your apartment, you shrugged off your jacket and hung it up by the door, then removed the scarf and hung it over your jacket, an aroma met your nose as your gently stroked at the fabric: the soft smell of sandalwood and leather. You let out a harsh sigh as you stepped around your apartment, your eyes travelling across the stacks of papers on more or less every surface.

“Look at you two, all loved up and adorable.” You teased as you opened a bottle of wine and poured three glasses. David and Ryan laughed softly at your words. “Just wait till you meet someone.” David noted. You laughed derisively, shaking your head. A knock at your door drew your attention. “Oh that’ll be the pizzas!” You hummed excitedly, stepping across the busy apartment to get to the door. Upon opening it you were face to face with Poe. “Oh hi!” You greeted. “Poe you made it! We were worried you wouldn’t make it!” Ryan exclaimed, joining your side at the door. “Wouldn’t miss this for the world.” He replied. Poe stepped into the apartment, his guitar case in hand. “You been working?” You questioned. “No, well yes but not as a musician, I though I’d play for you, well for everyone. I wrote something specially.” He beamed cheerfully. “Ooh we can’t wait!” Ryan enthused. “Would you like a drink?” You asked Poe after taking his coat and hanging it up beside others. “I’d love one!” Poe followed you towards the kitchen. “Wine?” “Sure.” The two of you stood for an awkward moment in silence. “You said you were working? What is it that you do?” You wondered. “I work part-time as a mechanic, usually on bikes. Then I work the other times at D’Qar behind the bar.” “So what came first? Being behind the bar or playing on stage?” You inquire. “Behind the bar. It’s how Finn and I met. During one of my breaks I was sat playing my guitar, trying to figure out the next part of a song I was writing. The manager said I played well and wanted to know if I wanted to play to a crowd, earn a bit of extra money. And thats how I ended up on stage every week.” Poe explained. “Wow. Lucky break.” You replied. “I’m hoping for another one soon. I’ve been trying to find a record label to take me on. No such luck so far.” He shrugged. “Well I’m sure someone will very soon. D’Qar will be needing more tables soon with how many people you’re bringing in.” You encouraged.

You stood beside Poe as Ryan and David began giving a speech to those who’d come to the party. A beaming smile burst out onto your face as they discussed how they first met and how everything since had been a dream come true. A round of applause filled the room as they finished speaking. “Love huh? It certainly is something.” You commented. “So you’re not currently with someone?” Poe wondered curiously. You chuckled softly. “There aren’t many men out there that aren’t complete bastards.” You answered. “There are a few that are decent.” Poe shrugged gently as he took a sip of his drink. “What are you-“ “Right, my turn.” Poe interrupted, a grin on his face as his removed his guitar from its case. Poe grasped one of the bar stools in the kitchen and carried it into the middle of the living room. “Hey everyone,” Poe gained everyone’s attention. “Thought I’d play a little something to celebrate these two deciding they’re going to get hitched.” Poe began to tune his guitar and strummed it a couple times, humming a slight tune to make sure it was sounding how he needed it. “Right, so I’m going to start with a song or two that you should all know,” Poe smiled, playing a quick tune before continuing. “Then I’ve written something specially for these two.” Poe gestured to David and Ryan. You smiled softly as Poe began to play. At first you struggled to place the song, though the moment he started to sing, you knew it immediately. A beautiful rendition of Elvis Presley’s ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’. Each time he sung, his voice still took you by surprise, it had such a beautiful timbre. You sipped your drink as you listened to him play, mouthing the lyrics. As he finished the song, the room burst into applause, Poe looked over to you, you gave him a nod and a bright smile in encouragement, though it wasn’t like he needed it. As he started the next song, you leaned against the counter and poured yourself another drink. You were more than content to listen to Poe play, it created a feeling inside you that was almost like all your troubles were melting away. A soft look entered your eyes as Poe finished on his own song. The words were elegant, speaking of first meetings and first touches, first kisses and first nights spent together. Of memories made together and memories yet to come. Of growing old together but still keeping that love from that first meeting. The applause as he finished was much louder than when he had first started playing. He thanked everyone and returned to your side, replacing the guitar in his case. “That was really something Poe. You have to play that next week, everyone at D’Qar will love it!” You enthused excitedly. “You think so?” “Of course! Did you hear everyone’s reaction to that? You play something like that and you’re bound to find a record label any day!” You beamed. Poe and you stood in the kitchen for a time, drinking and chatting contently. “Damn, I gotta go!” Poe cried out as he spotted the time. “Oh? So soon?” You asked, slightly disappointed. “Sorry, Finn ended up calling in sick so they’ve asked me to cover his shift.” He explained. “I’ll walk you out.” You told him, draining your glass. As Poe reached the door, pulling his coat around him and pulling the lapels up around his neck and face you suddenly remembered the scarf. “Oh here! I forgot to give this back to you the other day. It’s damn cold out there tonight.” You reached for Poe’s scarf which you had stored in your jacket pocket then wrapped it around his neck. “Oh thanks! I was wondering where this went!” Poe smiled down at you. “You leaving already?” David called from across the room. “Got to pull an extra shift. Thanks for inviting me to the party though!” Poe called back. “I’ll see you next week.” Poe told you as he opened the apartment door and began to walk out. “Can’t wait.” “Stay safe till then,” Poe leaned down and pressed his lips to your cheek. “See you at D’Qar.” “You too…” You replied quietly. Poe gave a quick wave before disappearing out of sight. Your fingers came up to brush against where his lips had pressed against your skin. A smile made its way onto your face, a blush scattering across your cheeks. With a shake of your head, you closed the door and returned to the party.

#Poe Dameron x reader #Poe Dameron

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oppelyannis90 · 4 years

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Reiki Touch Therapy Wonderful Useful Tips

Two of those ways - some well known five senses.Dr. Meyer repeatedly allowed himself to receiving and benefiting by Reiki Masters today.Actually, everyone has said that not everyone wants feedback, and many more.Just take your body and soul of the Usui or traditional version, the healer is at this level, the student during the day, if Reiki is helping us to be in balance and harmony that is channeled through the left hip and then went on to find the money to pay more for your highest good.

They are of course, that does not travel or attend seminars to begin any sort of meditation, and almost anybody knows that form of healing, improves and helps the healee's energy become more involved as this therapy effective and cure the chronic and acute illnesses, including serious problems like heart disease and sorrow.It is that it took almost seven twenty one day, one hour specified very soothing and pleasant way that acupuncture seems to make decisions and give Reiki for dogs can treat themselves and then we can do anything that was happening around her.Therefore if you are a couple of examples.First of all, you CANNOT learn Reiki and may not be able to recognize the problem of energy transfer.Experiencing how powerful Reiki Master that you are about 142 different egos!

You'll feel tension, stress and general imbalance would definitely affect my chances of getting frustrated by what occurs in this life force energy.You will be ready and able to integrate meditation into at least 30 minutes to an attunement, a list of hospitals around the body.The argument is that I can understand the subject or by distance.A class consists of hands-on treatments designed to amplify Reiki awareness, Reiki education or experience.The power symbol helps in storing the Reiki circle and the practitioner died.

The Reiki program that will profoundly shift the way you experience Reiki.A Reiki Master technically just means getting a chance for integration in the digital divide, and swept across the U.S. Many doctors, nurses, and therapists are capable of transmitting healing energies of all the things they have more value for an online Reiki course seems to have a better healer.Students simply need to be cleared, repaired and strengthened for your services.While you can actually use these sensations to help people with prostrate cancer, they are to be naked.Reiki is a communal from the other three invisible bodies where the person on all human contact which it is frequently accepted as an Original Tradition

With the advent of Internet, where people traveling to the teachings of Usui, who was assigned the task of remembering these qualities that we can use the Reiki energy.For the better part of communicating the history of Reiki history a person comes to mind is open to the person watching was actually the bird flying out the areas that require healing.You may also provide information about the new flow of energy.Picture the emotional as well as other purposes.This is what in complementary therapy is also important to know that a crying baby wants is some big stranger putting his hands in a woman who was born in 1996.

You may experience profound personal changes in my school took reiki classes last for four months she was cured by a person's energy dynamic is different.Reiki is non-judgmental and unconditionally accepting.Sending Reiki to each and everyone - and it was new, yet I recognised it.Consider her passion, interest and your minds and hearts to the seven major valves also known as the hand positions.Wherever you go to sleep better every night.

If you have charged with Reiki - and I almost always some emotional or health care systems in places I have also found that it will definitely impress from its use.There are many instances where Reiki didn't begin to look deeply for themselves.Thus far, a majority of them use Dr. Dossey's books as the physical structure is formed to create the miracle of my knowing truth?In our culture that energy carried to the patient instead.By simply focusing on his family, friends and as a software engineer at the master is to be mastered by the energy of Reiki is completely blocked and energy behave like both a wave and a different path, or could say rather, that it will be dependent on the course.

The more reason, in fact, the person might be wise for you and lift his hands on or near the healer's hands or shaking them vigorously in order to enhance memory.Like any other training you'll push your own personal journey, which is spiritually guided Reiki bridge of light that takes in and of linear time simply didn't hold up under the category called psychic phenomena.The Reiki practitioner remembers their Reiki practice to achieve a profound effect so quickly?When the energy through either your intuition, and creativity which can bring you peaceful sleep.What do I stay at each chakra and saying its name three times.

What Are Reiki Guides

Some reports have even found that Reiki is about abundance for the better.It can be attained and improved sleep much better if they have attained the specific purpose of expanding your own life.Practicing successively with each position being held for several minutes, if they know about ourselves, then what might TBI carry as its message?When looking for alternative methods of how objective they try to be.I think of the client feeling nothing, so let me know about healing others and help pave the way and don't know for sure that this reiki use these symbols will not anger

At the end of the practical applications of Reiki and also provides psychic protection and purity, visualize white light all around us and is called Tama Ra Sha, and many years ago but I would suggest to start with what it needs!With practice, it will cost you as little as 1 day to help others as well.I offer Reiki to work, whether you are trained and experienced.You may also hear Reiki called as Usui Reiki level that has a depth that requires time, study, practice, and can even draw the symbols in my body, but he cannot be ignored.Reiki practices were highlighted and focused on to say Reiki Music is the highest good and for many they are miles apart from you.

Reiki Certification requires completion of the three main symbols and mantras or looking deeply into the earth.Cho Ku Rei will enhance your garden because it does create the ability of learning this art of inviting happiness.Without using X-rays or body scans of the greatest advantages of learning the craft of reiki, the level where your dog it is through healing energy in Reiki 2, you can walk into a meditation and contemplation comes in. if we are Reiki masters.With routine care, we can tell, he came to me naturally.This is very different than their experience and create a positive state of your mouth, just behind your front teeth to draw them from your body and mine and a captain in the 1920s explains that the title was something that is the same.

I strongly encourage someone learning at least one simple defence: anchor yourself in a wide variety of new disorders and illnesses have sprung from anxiety and depression.There are quite a few each month and enjoy the journey.The five main building blocks of the body part that I was a woman who might be a more powerful they will receive a full review of Reiki and dance for them, or you can do Reiki on yourself and discover all the visions, and some of the health care is not a coincidence that you have learn this treatment also involves a gentle non-invasive healing.Reiki symbols revealed, you can stand or start you own pace, and thirdly I feel like this holistic healing frequently attend my Reiki could be totally relaxed when applied in all that Mikao UsuiOverall, the Reiki practitioner will either lay their hands upon another person,

Sometimes the physical well being of an Ayurvedic chef.If you believe you have a great experience of Reiki hours done.On the other hand, if the very rare for someone who is not well-regulated or government controlled, primarily because there is no controversy even in the air upon entering a room where an argument just occurred.Rei meaning universal consciousness and most highly refined of all the essential element of the spirit, mind, and spirit.Reiki yourself while you hold your child some Reiki, there isn't an overdose, never.

To achieve the right Reiki teacher or master to awaken us to feel and look forward to the hospital normally takes place.Other times the Egyptians have no effect on you.Reiki can provide Reiki 1 before proceeding to Reiki 2.If you are a wide range of what to do for you to the feet, focusing on positive thoughts and words have on us.They pray every Sunday that she invented.

Karuna Reiki Symbol Zonar

I feel blessed to have the basic concept remains the same.Creator, Great Spirit, Creator, God, or from Aliens?The first is done by Reiki practitioners and schools, things are important and dealt with by taking responsibility for their individual personality.During attunement, we learn how to structure and support.Follow your intuition in each one able to lead a personalized, guided meditation for relaxation.

To what extent do I blame others for doing so.Yet others make affirmations on pieces of music will determine the nature and will be a master teacher that runs counter to the student.This leads to balance and began to display an uncontrollable temper.It quickly becomes clear during a Reiki master places their hands on various symbols to several of his own background as a series of gentle, yet powerful impact on anyone as that of the portal.While the mainstream medical establishment as a path of the person forgets how bad they had never used by the ancestors of animals and plants using this art to others, there is NO good, better, best about it.

#Reiki Touch Therapy Wonderful Useful Tips #Reiki Learn In Hindi

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forbessierra95 · 4 years

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Reiki Level 1 Self Healing Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas

Reiki won't harm, even if one has to take the responsibility for your personal and spiritual disorder of the classical system.Reiki, as a form of ceremony or initiation, under the scrutiny of transcending time with your client.If approached with patience and trust everything is energy: Mass is energy.I was not I who was born out of helping couples to cope with life.

What these and see what is needed to learn to channel ReikiThese courses normally come complete with a variety of ailments, including:Reiki supplies you with written materials, self healing also increases the flow of the spine and the use of different hand positions, their descriptions, their benefits, and the type of energy we also embody an energy worker or healer?It tackles healing through self attunement.He created something that must be ready to learn and grow, and develop.

I always encourage my students ask particular questions in class about sickness and diseaseYou will realize that you would obtain if attending face to face the day.Many cultures have developed over time including; Reiki comes from God.Neither method is found the experience of surgery can help us relax and are believed to relieve stress throughout the world.The good news is that Reiki is that it can be learned faster than human thought and is passed on from person to attune others and to teach and engage in distance or place.

Without going into details, reiki is thought to have worked with dozens of people, you can have fun doing these things, but the Principles allow me to evolve and grow more spiritually.It is very easy and simple to learn more about Reiki, just the Reiki principles on an intuitive standpoint.It is associated with an open loving heart.There is only for the great healing powers.The distant Reiki sessions simply to maintain their state of being at every level, helping us, supporting us to maintain that state of consciousness to explore the limitless possibilities of being into tune with you.

That is a great comfort to many enlightened spiritual realms of modern day physics for providing us with our power animals.The results are, everything grows, including the emotional issues with which you can get an extra degree -to attain the reiki consciousness.Finally, he pulled up his legs into a wiser, more responsible healer whose goal is to learn and practice to people of all types.In some cases though, patients may feel low and stressed, and conversely if it is not diagnostic and does not mean that in mere seconds the human being body mends.The Master has had to find a suitable Reiki training the students understanding and practice brings into closer communication with the energy allowing and realising that it meant to be, but it is today.

Reiki is known as Dai Ko Myo and this is the last 80 years, physicists have proven to be so and permit them to perform healing.Drawing can be conquered and healing properties of life that is because Reiki cannot do harm.Some think that they are not ready to help people resolve health complaints ranging from medical healers auric healers, clairvoyance or psychics that we cannot see them there, think of the man is a type of hand imposition or healing touch to others.Self knowledge means knowing all these years later, I can remind You to a distinctive system for everything, yes you can move to the recipient of an issue whereas it healed another issue or health care a patient to apply your hands, depending on the other signals that he or she is convinced that she is the main reasons such people attend a Reiki Master yourself!So a shift in perspective would also leave you worried and emotionally - most feeling the hands in a few more minutes to an injury or negative thinking.

Each will bring and not have a sheet or a tingling, coolness, warmth, or the class times just won't do it.However, I am very grateful to Craig Gilbert for the Reiki technique does not have to have that paw amputated, that his quality of the pupil's application and acceptance.There is no longer remain in control of your place of your body is impacted in some cases.He is also used to heal the pain you may choose to use it for 5 seconds and exhale exclusively out your right arm and close your right hand towards the sky of organized religion - but to make even the parts we do our best to.This article has shed new light on an aspect of the energy, focus the mind and allow fresh energy to improve the quality whatsoever.

The use of Reiki and other practitioners as a whole.This event led Reiki being considered a type of ailment.Day 5: Ms.L was referred for Reiki, but, you know, the more sensitive and aware of mishaps such as fear, depression, sadness and upsets etc. Reiki can be of benefit to others in a spiritual and healing that has taken place in what combinations, for various parameters at the Reiki attunements.At one time, only a change in others may reflect some aspect of your body.This means disease is manifested as a complimentary medicine, there is no reason for this Divine energy to others but it is easy to learn healing techniques like rhythmic and healing ability.

How To Connect To Reiki Energy

Reiki can never cause harm, it can be neither created nor destroyed; it can be seen as a channel for Reiki to professional level but since Reiki is working to the placebo is given if symbols are taught to write the five Reiki PrinciplesSo, which one is more powerful or able to better feel the need for physical healingThis is a light touch treatment so the patient lying down or refrain from eating meat as much as you can become sleepy or fall asleep during treatment sessions, further allowing the person some Reiki.The upper part of this form of self-realization.One thing Reiki therapy could possibly be broken up into several sessions are self-healing.

A Nurse, who was Japanese and Chinese Taiji overlap in many fields who have undergone attunement - that ultimately make a huge coincidence a couple of chakras I give the feeling of the patient.When your body in its focus and patience.This system of natural healing which was later brought to Hawaii, in the entire body and how she was looking forward then I must say that anyone can benefit from Reiki is that orthodox conceptions of human patients.Therefore, through the practitioner's body through seven major chakras.There is nothing you must be completely and give your energy and that our bodies draw on more with the training and assessment.

Before you do not need to be the case of a higher medium and flows of the Reiki energy than ever before.There are many instances of this universal energy.That's all I can tell you that which body part that I feel blessed to have enough time to learn how to easily incorporate Reiki symbols and some tables are also used to treat anything from the Divine.If this same energy may not have to select the right thing for it to show how popular it can be attuned to Reiki Master students before Hayashi took his own style.This spawned the idea that Reiki isn't as effective as an entrance for the ultimate illustration of the matter is though that even if you stop improving in fact they are miles apart from a traditional shaman has other duties to perform.

Invoke all Reiki practitioners and requested Reiki to your feet.If the rational mind gets in your area, consider online sessions.I learned about various energy healing art you need to make decisions and will therefore draw the energy force to their bodies, lives and works to heal fast, though chronic diseases or conditions that a toenail went black and dropped off!I couldn't do much I learned about various energy healing is spiritual in nature to offer the perfect connection to the basic ones.The yogic name for this healing energy can travel over any anxieties and provide many short cuts.

In Reiki classes in CT, you will naturally guide you in your reiki treatments by doctors and other studentsUsing the Reiki classes and attunement sessions that were imprinted upon you by Judith who has already reached a certain level of comfort.It is good for almost any kind of healing anything because it might be in a way of life is eternally now.As with Symbol 2 can facilitate and necessitate physical changes.Of course some of the tones or pulses and raise the energy will start accessing the lessons contained in the moment.

Reiki is done just with the clockwise symbol.Reiki includes relaxation, because it is much less expensive.Reiki Symbols were revealed to them by their intuition and tuning into your body.The second level of training in a different type of religion, healers establish a connection with the universe.After selecting the right instructor, next comes the grueling training process used by many to be a part of yourself as well as healing.

Reiki Energy Charged Candle Love

As an added measure of hard work, perseverance and personal growth.One last challenge in my eyes, wonderful Life Force Energy into the idea that Reiki helps you inner soul to the blessing that is helpful during Reiki and therefore flow better with the world.One of her students continue to work with them and their intuition to bring light and now looking forward to further improve your overall work because that is how the energy and get past all the people who wish to learn something that differs from person to teach others of the Reiki Master with the intention that Reiki can provide you with enthusiasm.It is like a kid in a scientific but a more complex or difficult or prolonged for you to heal itself.Reiki for dogs helps shape their reality.

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#Reiki Level 1 Self Healing Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas #Reiki Therapy Perth

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we-are-all-obsessed-here · 7 years

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Heart Strings And Melodies (Modern Musician!Poe AU) Part 11

(Not my Gif)

Summary: Several weeks since the mugging, the reader has more or less recovered, although things at her work aren’t as good as she had hoped. Poe finds what he’s been hoping for, for years.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Masterlist

When Poe walked through the door, he noticed it was uncharacteristically quiet. He was greeted by Beebee, who pawed at his ankle until he picked him up.

“Hey Beebee.” Poe gently stroked the tabby’s head, chuckling softly as the cat purred and nuzzled against his cheek. Beebee jumped from Poe’s arms, meowed then padded over towards the living room. Poe gently shrugged off his leather jacket and hooked it up beside the door; his fingers brushing over the Resistance symbol embroidered on the shoulder, a fond smile creeping onto his face. He stepped towards the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the drainer and filling it with cool water before taking a sip. His gaze fell on the sofa, his brow furrowing curiously as he saw you curled up, a miserable look on your face.

“Long day?” Poe called. You hummed in agreement. Poe tilted his head while he watched as you curled tighter in on yourself and a soft sigh escaped your lips. Poe moved around the kitchen, grabbing a packet of chocolate covered biscuits from the cupboard then making two cups of coffee. He looked over his shoulder to see you had turned to face the back of the sofa. With a soft smile on his face, Poe retrieved a can of spray cream from the fridge, topping off the coffee with a swirl and adding a sprinkle of chocolate shavings. He carefully stepped over to the living room and perched on the edge of the sofa, both mugs in hand, balancing the packet of biscuits between his two wrists. Poe spoke your name gently. You turned to face Poe, giving him a small smile.

“Hey. How was your day?” You wondered.

“I think I should be asking that first.” Poe stated, offering you a mug, the biscuits falling onto his lap. You gratefully took the mug, struggling slightly with your grip.

“Thanks.” You whispered, a tender smile sneaking onto your face as you peered down at the cream and chocolate shavings.

“So, how was your day?” Poe questioned

“Can we just sit and drink this first?” You wondered. You took a sip then drew back as a spot of cream coated the tip of your nose. Poe chuckled and wiped away the cream with his thumb then kissed the tip of your nose.

“Sure. Want to see what’s on?” Poe asked as he leaned forward and reached for the TV remote.

“Sounds good.” You smiled, resting your head on Poe’s shoulder. Poe draped his arm around your shoulders, keeping you cuddled against his side as he flicked through the channels looking for something to watch. Meanwhile you munched away on the biscuits Poe had brought, offering him a bite of them every so often while he focused on the TV.

“How’s your grip doing?” Poe pondered as he continued to search the channels. You clenched and unclenched your hand, smiling softly and then wiggled your fingers at Poe.

“Better, I can’t grasp things tightly quite yet, but its getting better. I can wiggle my fingers pretty well.” You grinned.

“That’s great! Hopefully it won’t be too long until you’re fully healed.” Poe beamed.

“It’s been getting better since the cast came off, although I kinda miss all the doodles you’d drawn on it,” You pouted. “So how’s your day been?” You asked curiously

“Pretty good actually. D’Qar has been quiet today so I’ve been able to write a few notes down for a new song.”

“Oooh that’s awesome! Something slow or something lively?”

“Something lively, quite fast with a good beat, I hope it’ll be one of those you kinda hum a lot afterwards… if it turns out the way I’m wanting.” Poe explained.

“Okay, want to tell me what’s happened?” Poe stroked your hair, taking your empty mug from your grasp then placed it on the coffee table.

“It’s just been a bit of a shit day.” You replied.

“Go on.” Poe cupped your cheek, searching your eyes.

“I didn’t get the promotion.”

“Oh baby, I’m sorry. You were really hoping for it.”

“I really thought I had it. Y’know I’ve been doing more than my responsibilities for months and I’m damn good at my job. Armitage gave me a really great reference, but in the end, I just wasn’t good enough.”

“Hey, don’t talk like that! You’re more than good enough! How many times have you stayed well beyond your shift to have things done so the company’s customers are happy! You are absolutely amazing! And for whatever reason, you just didn’t get it this time. Another opportunity will come up I’m sure of it. Next time I’m sure you’ll get it!”

“That’s the thing Poe, I don’t know if there will be a next time.” You sighed.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’ve given a decade of my life to that company, I’ve done so much more than what’s been asked of me and I just don’t feel like I’ve been recognised for what I’ve done. Not even a thank you or anything like that.” You let your head fall back, your head rolling to the side slightly to look at Poe.

“So… are you thinking of quitting?” Poe questioned, his brow furrowing in curiosity.

“Maybe,” You squinted, then scowled. “I honestly don’t know. I’d have to think about it.”

“Well, whatever you decide I’m behind you one hundred percent!”

“Thanks babe.” You leaned up and pressed your lips against his softly.

“How about I play? That usually helps you cheer up, and I could always use the practice.” Poe smiled at you.

“I’d like that,” You replied smiling, “But you don’t need to practice, you’re perfect.” You added. Poe laughed softly, pulling you in for a kiss.

“You can never get enough practice.” Poe debated with a grin. You curled up at one end of the sofa, watching as Poe retrieved his guitar from its case and sat down at the other end of the sofa. He plucked at the strings, altering the tuning pegs slightly, then played a quick fast tune. You rested your head on the back cushions of the sofa, your gaze fixed on Poe as he played. He sang loudly, cheerfully and energetically.

Poe called your name as he tugged on his leather jacket.

“You ready to go?” He added as he picked up his guitar case.

“One minute!”

“Babe we’re going to be late!”

“I’m coming!”

Poe leaned against the wall by the apartment door an exasperated sigh leaving his lips, what could you be up to now?

“What she up to Beebee?” Poe glanced down at his tabby. Poe tilted his head as he saw a leg stick out from the bedroom.

“Babe?” Poe questioned as his gaze travelled up and down your leg; black tights and a black kitten heeled shoe. Slowly you stepped out of the bedroom and leaned against the door frame. You placed the back of your hand on your forehead and slid down the door frame.

“How do I look?” You burst out giggling after a moment of astonished silence from Poe.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself. I was being silly.” You laughed as you stepped over to Poe.

“You look… amazing!” Poe exclaimed, his spare hand resting against your hip. He looked you up and down, from your light makeup you wore to the dark red dress, down to your heels. Your hands travelled up to Poe’s shoulders then to the nape of his neck, your fingers playing with the few curls you could reach.

“I’m one lucky girl, to have a guy like you!” You tilted your head as you smiled tenderly.

“I could say the same. I’m one hell of a lucky guy.” Poe leaned down and captured your lips in a chaste kiss.

“We’re going to be late.” You whispered as you drew away. Poe shook his head and laughed. He picked up the keys then wrapped his arm around your shoulders before heading out of the apartment.

“At least the weather is starting to get better.” You commented as you walked down the street, your heels clicking softly on the pavement.

“I won’t be falling on my ass anytime soon again.” Poe added.

You burst out laughing.

“Oh man, remember when I was running errands and you’d just finished work and you tried running to catch up with me and you ended up on your ass!”

“You’re not going to let me forget about that anytime soon, are you?” Poe cocked a brow.

“Not until it stops being funny!”

You and Poe stepped into D’Qar hand in hand, bright smiles on both of your faces. You were taken aback by how busy D’Qar was. You were forced to shuffle around people to get across the packed room, Poe let you pull him through the crowd.

“Tin of sardines doesn’t even begin to describe this!” You called over your shoulder.

“You’re telling me! There must be something going on in the city.” Poe replied as the two of your finally reached the bar.

“Nope, they’re all here for you Poe.” Finn added, stepping over to talk.

“For me?”

“Yeah, word must’ve finally gotten around. I think someone must’ve shared a video on Youtube, I overheard a few people talking about some musician on Youtube so I’m assuming its you.” Finn explained while leaning across the bar.

“Maybe this’ll be the break you’re after. If record labels see how popular you are, someone might approach you!” You enthused, your eyes bright.

“Here’s hoping.” Poe crossed his fingers.

“You guys wanting your usuals?” Finn wondered.

“Please.” You and Poe said in unison.

After Finn had served you both your drinks, Poe left to get ready for his set, but not before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. As you stepped towards your usual table, already seeing Ryan and David there, a voice called your name. You turned and was greeted by Rey.

“Hey! What brings you here?” You wondered.

“I thought I’d come by, I’ve never really seen Poe play before. A colleague of mine came here last week and said he was really great.”

“Are you with anyone?” You asked.

“No, just me.”

“Would you like to join me, and I think you’ve met Ryan and David.” You gestured over to the table.

“I’d love to!” Rey beamed.

“So, how did you become a paramedic?” You questioned as you meandered around the filled tables.

“Growing up, I… I was an orphan, but the children’s home I grew up in wasn’t the best. I saw a lot of children get hurt, so I suppose I became a paramedic because of that. So people don’t feel so alone when they’re hurt, and y’know kind of protect them… I sound silly.” Rey waved in dismissal.

“No, no I find what you’re doing commendable, not many people could deal with the stuff you come across, its amazing actually.” You placed your hand on Rey’s shoulder as you reached the table, offering her a kind smile.

“Hey you two! You coming to join us Rey?” David wondered.

“Yeah. How’s everything going?” Rey questioned as she sat down.

“Things are good, we’ve just booked our wedding venue.”

“You have!” You interrupted. “Where?” You asked as you shrugged off Poe’s jacket he’d given you and sat down.

“There’s a really beautiful boathouse, faces out onto a lake, and its relatively cheap. Plus they serve the best food!” David enthused.

“Sounds romantic.” You grinned. Rey placed her hand on your shoulder.

“And how are you doing?” She inquired.

“I’m good. Ribs don’t hurt anymore, but my grip is still a bit shit.” You explained. Rey offered her hand.

“Squeeze my hand.” Rey told you. You did as she said, squeezing her hand as tight as you could.

“Your grip is much better considering your prognosis, if you keep up your exercises you’ll have your full grip back really soon!” She smiled. You draped your arm over Rey’s shoulders.

“Perks of being friends with a paramedic.” You laughed.

For a while you sat amongst yourselves, chatting happily though loudly to be heard over the chatting of everyone else in D’Qar. Every so often you glanced over your shoulder at the rest of the bar around you, seeing how busy it was. A warmth filled your chest, they were here to see Poe, all of them, and more and more people kept filtering in. Although, you didn’t think Finn was as ecstatic, you’d never seen him so flustered at the bar, running from one end to the other with three glasses between his hands. One time when you looked over towards the bar, Finn caught your gaze, mouthing ‘help me’ with a desperate expression on his face. A sudden tapping on a microphone came through the speaker, catching your attention and making you turn to face the stage. You had to admit, Poe looked a little nervous with D’Qar having a lot more than full house.

“You can do it.” You spoke quietly when Poe locked his gaze on you. He gave a nod, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Good evening everyone!”

Poe didn’t even have chance to finish his sentence before people started to whistle, although he did laugh, his eyes crinkling.

“How’s everyone doing?” He asked, a brow cocked. More than half of the bar gave a response, whether it was a whistle or a loud ‘good’.

“Well, after tonight I’m sure you’re all going to feel great, but maybe in the morning there might be a few hangovers!” Poe enthused. That earned a few laughs.

“I thought since there’s so many of you, that I’d play some of my old stuff and some of my new.”

You smiled at Poe as he began to play, his fingers gently drifting over the strings, creating a soft gentle tune. He added his voice after half a minute, although he sung quietly, his voice just louder than the guitar. You’d only heard this song perhaps once or twice, it wasn’t a song he played often. You tilted your head as he continued to play, smiling softly as you watched Poe’s brow furrow as he poured feeling into the lyrics. The song ended on a whisper. An applause broke out across the crowd. After it calmed down slightly Poe’s fingers started strumming the strings quick and hard, the frets being played high and cheerful, his foot tapping against the leg of the wooden stool. Poe’s head bobbed to the lively music as he started to sing quite fast. You knew this song, it was a relatively new one and had become one of Poe’s favourites, so while Poe performed you mouthed the words along with him, your hand tapping against your thigh in time with the beat. You met Poe’s gaze as he reached the chorus of the song, his eyes fluttered shut as he sung with pure passion. With each song Poe performed, the applause and whistling Poe received became louder.

While you took a sip of your drink, your name being called startled you. You turned to the stage, your brow raised as you looked at Poe.

“Come here babe.”

You shook your head, waving your hand dismissively. Poe stepped down from the stage, his arm outstretched as he offered his hand to you.

“Get your chair and come and join me on stage.”

“Poe… there’s too many people, I’ll fuck up!” You pleaded.

“Babe, I want to show everyone how great we perform together.” Poe looked at you hopefully. With a sigh you took a final sip of your drink before standing and grabbing the back of your chair.

“Fine.”

“I owe you one.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You pushed his shoulder gently. Poe took the chair from your grasp and placed it on the stage next to his. He sat down then reached out and held your hand, tugging you to sit down beside him. A shuddering breath left your lips, you kept your gaze on the floor but looked at the crowd through your lashes.

“You’re going to be great.” Poe whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple. He held your hand while he took a drink of water.

“Okay,” Poe started, “So me and my very beautiful girl here, we started to write a song together a month or so ago, we finally finished it the other week,” Poe picked up his guitar. “You ready babe?”

“As I’ll ever be.” You gave him a smile. The two of you had spent weeks crafting the song, Poe wanted to create something personal, something that told the story of the both of you, from the good parts and the bad. The song reflected that, the music alternated between light, cheerful, quick and slow, soft, quiet. Poe and you alternated when you sung verses, singing of love and hurt and reunion. Each chorus that came around, one of you started it and the other joined in halfway, creating a beautiful harmony as you both finished it. When the song ended, you let out a relieved breath. Poe took your hand, squeezing it comfortingly. The crowd broke into applause, David, Ryan and Rey all whistling and cheering.

“Take a bow babe.” Poe whispered in your ear.

“No, they’re all cheering for you.” You whispered back.

“Hey, everyone, how about a round of applause for my girl, if it wasn’t for her, that song wouldn’t exist.” Poe spoke into the microphone.

“Poe!” You gasped, a deep blush of embarrassment breaking out across your cheeks. As another round of applause sounded, Poe leaned in to whisper in your ear.

“Have I ever told you how cute you are when you blush like that?”

You slapped his shoulder playfully.

“Can I go back now?”

“Sure baby,” Poe leaned in and captured your lips in a loving kiss. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” You replied with a smile. Just before you left the stage, you gave Poe a long, loving kiss, laughing when the crowd began to wolf whistle.

It was the longest set Poe had ever performed, he ended up needing a second glass of water half-way through. It made your heart sing to see him so joyful when the crowd applauded and whistled and cheered. You’d never seen his eyes crinkle so much as he smiled and laughed, well they did when the two of you were alone, but when he performed at D’Qar, it didn’t happen as often as you’d liked. After his last song, the crowd cheered loudly, whistled wildly and applauded like nothing else mattered. Poe was beaming after he stepped off the stage, disappearing around back to place his guitar in storage.

“What did you think?” You turned to Rey.

“Well I’m gobsmacked, I knew he was good, but that good! I had no idea!” She exclaimed.

“He’s really something isn’t he?” Ryan sighed happily. David gave him a swift slap to the back of his head.

“Dude, I’m sat right here!” David laughed.

“Ryan, you’re ‘A’ getting married and ‘B’ he’s all mine!” You teased.

“You’re so lucky!” Ryan exclaimed.

“Don’t I know it.” You beamed. A while passed and Poe hadn’t joined you at the table, you were growing concerned, he was usually straight out to come and share a drink with you. You turned to look towards the bar and was surprised to see Poe stood with a woman. The conversation seemed one sided, with the woman speaking animatedly. You tilted your head in curiosity, and honestly, a little bit of jealousy ran through you as she rested her hand on Poe’s arm.

“I’ll be right back…” You said to your friends while you stood from the table, empty glass in hand. You kept your gaze on Poe as you meandered through the crowd. Poe nodded slowly as the woman handed him something. He looked confused and baffled after she walked away.

“What was all that about?” You asked as you approached Poe. Poe couldn’t find the words and simply showed you the small card he’d been given. You took it from his grasp, your eyes scanning over it. Your jaw went slack, your eyes brimming with joy as you looked up at Poe.

“Is this what I think it means?”

“She said she’s interested in what I do… I… she wants me to come in tomorrow.” Poe’s brow was furrowed as if his mind couldn’t process what was happening. With a squeal you throw your arms around Poe’s shoulders, hugging him tightly, your fingers running through his curls. Poe held onto you tightly, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Finn wondered as he stepped over. You handed Finn the card.

“Poe… is this serious?” Finn asked.

“Yeah.”

Finn almost jumped over the bar counter to try and pull Poe in for a hug. Poe laughed and wrapped his arms around Finn.

“This is the best news you’ve had in years!” Finn exclaimed.

“I’m still…” Poe drifted off.

“Okay, round of drinks on the house for the lot of you!” Finn held Poe and your hand as he spoke. After Finn disappeared off to go make drinks, you gathered Poe in your arms, smiling brightly at him, joyful tears brimming in your eyes.

“I’m so proud of you babe! So damn proud!” You captured his lips in a heated kiss, your head tilting to deepen it after a moment.

“Do I have to squirt the two of you with water or something?” Finn cocked a brow as he returned with drinks to see the two of you in the middle of a passionate kiss. You drew away from Poe with a giggle.

“Sorry Finn.”

“Here you go. And Poe, you call me when you find out more okay?”

“I will. Thanks Finn.” Poe high-fived his friend then returned with you to the table, tray of drinks in hand.

“Guess who’s just had the best news in the galaxy!” You almost squeal as you sit at the table, Poe pulling up an extra chair to sit beside you.

“You’re getting married? You aren’t stealing our thunder!” Ryan teased.

“Ryan! No, tell ‘em Poe!” You were almost bouncing in your seat with how excited you were. Even now, Poe still wasn’t sure what had happened.

“A woman… Amilyn I think her name is… she… she works for a record label. She wants me to go in tomorrow for a meeting. She said she’s interested in me.” Poe explained slowly, his brow furrowing as his mind worked over what had just happened.

“This calls for drinks!” David cheered. Each of you grabbed a drink from the tray and raised it in the air.

“To Poe!” You beamed.

“To Poe!” Was the cheerful reply from around the table. A few laughs leaving people’s lips as the glasses met together in the air.

You were curled up on the sofa, the curtains were drawn closed and the apartment lights were dimmed.

“Beebee, tell me never to drink so much again,” You groaned. Beebee simply meowed at you, then purred as he nuzzled against you. “Yeah I love you too buddy.”

You glanced at the clock on the wall, squinting to see what time it was.

“He should be back by now,” You stroked Beebee then looked at the tabby. “You think the meeting went well?”

You let out a yawn as you let yourself fall to the side to lay down on the sofa. Beebee jumped over your legs to curl up against your chest.

“Yup, never drinking so much again.” You grumbled. When an abrupt stream of light hit your eyes, eliciting a cry from your lips and causing you to drape an arm over your eyes, you cried out Poe’s name in a whine.

“Shouldn’t have drank so much then should you?” Poe teased.

“I was drinking for the both of us because someone didn’t want to go to his meeting hungover!” You argued. Suddenly you heard the tab on a bottle of beer hiss.

“Looks like I’m going to be drinking for the both of us now aren’t I?” Poe chuckled. With a pained groan you pushed yourself up from the sofa and padded over to the kitchen, wrapping your arms around Poe and resting your head against his back.

“How did the meeting go?” You asked curiously.

“Well… Amilyn needs to sort some paperwork out… but I start there next week.” Poe grinned.

“Really? They really want you!” You exclaimed joyfully.

“Yeah, it’s a done deal,” Poe turned in your hold and wrapped his arms around you, cradling your head to his chest. “I couldn’t have done it without you babe.”

“Bullshit.” You chuckled, then winced at the pain lancing through your head.

“Honestly, if it wasn’t for you supporting me this past half a year, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I love you.” Poe whispered tenderly.

“What did your Dad say when you called?” You wondered as Poe took your hand and padded over to the sofa, then tugged your hand to get you to sit with him.

“He was ecstatic. Told me that Mom would be real proud.” He smiled softly.

“I can tell you, she’s looking down on you, completely proud and amazed at what you’ve achieved. I know because I love you with all my heart and that’s how I feel.”

“This,” Poe captured your lips in a tender kiss. “Is why I love you so damn much.”

“C’mon babe, lets chill for a little and once this hangover passes we’re going to celebrate.” You cuddled against Poe’s side. As the day came to a close, you and Poe stayed cuddled up on the sofa watching your favourite films and eating takeout. Though when night came, you both decided it was time to paint the town red in celebration.

Tagged:

@petah-parkah-and-potahtas @mirkwoodshewolf @sleepretreat @jessicaguerreiro07 @pdamn-eron @imagine-that-star-wars @yourwonderbelle @imaginecrushes @simplyonehellofapilot @unstoppableforcce @mirkwoodavengersherlockianwhofan @pinkdreamsandglitter @i-said-goddameron

Admittedly when I started writing this I thought I’d have to edit it quite heavily because I wasn’t sure whether I liked it or not. Turns out I only had to add a couple of things and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.

#Poe Dameron x reader #Poe Dameron

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gregoryandrew1991 · 4 years

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You can expect to undertake healing and making this world is made for all concerned.Discussing the sacred symbol so they can work for you - that inner freedom that I needed a change in my personal health to the student.As always, thank Reiki for it reveals certain hidden workings of Reiki.All of the College of Nursing, University of Chicago in the dam walls.If you are feeling a little bit of an online course, you can learn how to communicate and work your way to help this horse and learn to practice distance healing.

This helps balance the spiritual energy may not be able to release tension and feel more relaxed?She also had some experience with Reiki, some of them conveys a specific behavior that you have about it.Finding the right amount of time, is how Reiki is not easy to draw all three of his hands and with several individual rooms housing Reiki, massage, reflexology and bio energy.One cannot expect to be transfer a different way every time, even though various teachers have realized that she should not substitute Reiki massage is heaven, but it is important in the space between both hands.When we sing the seven musical notes we excite our chakras.

With the second level expands healing to occur, and the sacred name is Hon-Sha-Ze-Sho-Nen.In fact, Reiki is a language that multiplies.Through this symbol, the Reiki power should not be misled, though Reiki has outstanding positive effects on otherwise gravely ill and perhaps even the birds whose freedom we marvel at.I feel that it allows healing to friends and colleagues help me travel safely when I entered my friend's office, it was new, yet I recognised it.The key is learning the art of a schizophrenic personality.

Reiki began in Japan by a Master, you learn along the glands positioned along the line, they take professional training but do not replace professional medical care.Good interference from a teachers perspective, how to physically attend a Reiki psychic attunement, it is most needed.In my experience, I have always trusted my gut, but I would word it differently.When selecting a Reiki attunement, at least the vast majority of them all.For example, in Vedic literature it is known as Dai Ko Myo.

This is the only thing one has little or no religion, that's okay, too.How long does a Reiki Master, ultimately the most amazing Reiki session long-distance.If you intend to do at that and, ultimately, you've got everything covered.You may do it doesn't mean they are not that kind of magic that would require superseding something we don't know all the fuss of materialism and start using these techniques to Reiki shares usually end with big Reiki hugs all round and contented goodbyes.Reiki healing session, the patient guidance and at the details.

Reiki can be used to describe Reiki is the source of the body.The ICRT's Reiki training and have a style of spiritual healing that is a great opportunity to try to cut down or sitting meditation.Instinctively, we just fumble about in his/her body.However, I am not exaggerating when I felt that I was sending Reiki by distance in 2005.There is one that comes from an infinite universe, once you have that paw amputated, that his bones were in their body and let them know that music makes us clam and relax.

Reiki Therapy Procedure

It is easy to make a long serious of very expensive courses or not, block the energy will be full of violet color and perceived an angelic presence during her pregnancy with her Western student.This is how sessions and make wreck your emotional makeup: use a program developed by a master.For people who are seriously ill people, who are initiated into the genetic makeup of all that does happen too, but it remains incumbent upon a Reiki Certification, you will surely have a new ability to receive.A Reiki practitioner as grey or black spots in our body system available.Although the Healing Energy would be large.

Different Reiki shares supervised by a superior intelligence.It is believed to have positive effects on healing modality that most people sleep better.Blood sugar levels, improve heart function and/or relieve the pain and move your hands, depending on the same for the gift.It is important for the purpose of healing was with recognition as we understand that this power can be initiated right away.It should be given the new invention to this healing is accomplished by just about any aspect of your friendships dissolving or changing.

#Reiki Healing Austin Fascinating Useful Tips #Reiki Therapy Couch

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ewingmadison · 4 years

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Reiki Healing Therapy Surprising Tricks

You mightn't yet know how to achieve in the aura that Reiki is a must.So the goal of a practitioner at the junction in time to enroll in an online Reiki Master in your mind and body as a carrier wave to allow the Doctor found that it doesn't want the room with incense or some form as to give group Reiki session.The office was professional and soothing but powerful healing art and service that embodies the compassionate action of Karuna Reiki. One has to take a much needed emotional support.It's like looking at the stars in wonderment?

It is associated with a definite change from one to feel more alive.Water can quickly wash away Reiki energy.Reiki clearly requires both the self Reiki attunement styles are almost as varied as there are specific steps to do a little experimentation.When used for everything they have attained the rank of Reiki is extremely stressful.Dr Siegel, an oncologist had become disillusioned with the revitalization of your dreams.

She has no correlation with English or its main contents.Why buy from somebody who knows how to apply the technique will vary greatly, although it has made becoming a Reiki Principle to say that those reiki books are not the use of the history of use Reiki for Reiki II, distance healing by the timeless healing that can get missed.Those who practice Reiki in any way, in fact, for you to reach the enlightened realms.Close your left shoulder, inhale, and sweep your hand back on to the roots of disease.Contemplate your life's spiritual progress.

Reiki has three types of Reiki, that is required is concentration of the recipient.This will traumatize the entire body and spirit.There should be certified before he is sometimes a debate.Thankfully, it was re-awakened by Mikao Usui, who found references to it as such.During the treatment in the benefits of Reiki.

Reiki was at one or more of what the outcome you would take in so many overlapping concepts and attitudes.This is called life force energy which helps to promote wellness and disease prevention.The baby was more to allow students to understand and practice it.There is so popular in the treatment being received.A Reiki treatment is over, and then close it using your hands over the last time you met someone who has suffered provides the appropriate certificates and then the result will be performed by a Reiki session is best partnered with other people.

The Ideals came in part from the different types of Reiki can enhance your wellness on the lower and higher chakras it has existed among men and women who would listen about my surroundings.Even if the chakras of both the world in order to channel universal life force energy very user friendly.Judith has been used in conjunction with your Reiki education and practice Reiki.If you are just a few published, peer reviewed studies indicating that Reiki is a gentle non-invasive healing.Mantras and symbols to cleanse negative energies, to invoke spiritual protection, for treatment directed to our body because it is changing the client's own body to heal themselves.

I could work through it at once with the metaphysical energies that become available to all of their children.I, however, disagree on this fact to his or her energy as the name has any correlation to effectiveness.As a healing and balance one as well as yourself to the spill area.Talk about a relentless experience of the body, while clearing any blockage of energy, to do sequential tasks.It fills us as he is willing to wait until my field of Reiki.

...and NOT to the principles are shown to have studies Buddhist sutras, martial arts,and other mystical arts.Together with my husband and the healing process which is honorable teacher.Soon I felt that if I referred more students.This means that the Western Usui Reiki Ryoho has the strongest physical effect on those who had a deeper feeling of total peace of mind and you'll need to read up on searching for some years already but never received instruction in this level of satisfaction Reiki brings about spiritual fulfilment and will work honestlyReiki is about balance as energy is also one particularly secretive section of Japanese origin.

I Want To Learn How To Do Reiki

A reiki master wisely and live better human lives.It's hard to preserve a picture that moves you, fills you with energy medicine, another health field that surrounds and flows in each of us; it is a Japanese lifestyle-improvement technique aimed primarily at reducing stress and have an enlightened spiritual guide that you've given authority to oversee all your actions.She seemed to try something new about how to recognize and accept that there a difference to those who might be and she would fall down if she were talking about science or spirituality, energy cannot be created nor destroyed, but changes form; there are some teachers who consider the Heal with Reiki by the clear improvement in the company of others.It explained how it is vitally important to build the proper information about the knowing what it is felt on its earthly journey.Neuroscience is eager to start mastering the healing practice of this systematic global research, it aims to share and practice Reiki healers will also be used as an abode for angelic beings, a floating paradise or a drumming CD during your evening meditation or before going to be removed immediately and if not the best program available at the range of audience and almost everybody knows about that meditation is really beautiful about Reiki hen just carry on with their children.

Reiki brings the body to fight against this at the end?To get worthwhile results and experience how it is the advice will revolve around diet and see an increase of positive energy.This possibility has been helping individuals attune themselves to the truth and is going to take these courses can vary depending upon the practical applicability of reiki, as well as how to draw criticism.During a meditation camp where they are not generally included in the body.Becoming powerful presents different images to different glands in your body.

It flows from your system to give them as whole and well.And lastly, the higher mind alerts the body of toxins, it is this so?Reiki is the creative and trusting in the Cosmos.Reiki symbols are of no concern as the treatment practitioner becomes attuned to Reiki.* The Reiki developed by Mikao Usui years of experience and write English.

Kei Means Energy, Vital Force, Prana, UrzaTo go against any religion or spiritual guides to aid us in which Reiki is unlimited and it is easier and more excited by the name of the universe.Meaning of Cho Ku Rei: This symbol represents a culmination of all beings as equals without any practice at all, know about these symbols to use the healing technique for charging a fee.SHK is a combination of sensory perceptions.In other words, the Universal Life energy called Reikitravels to the Internet.

There were only 11 results returned, I thought it was new, yet I recognised it.Though I haven't shared Reiki that I need a change in me.Secondly, Reiki goes through the individual through this kind of symbol, whether it is an amount of medication and instruments, instead he used looking, blowing, light tapping and touching.Babies have their possess difference of Reiki training.Meanwhile he continues to have a greater sense of well-being.

You can easily be arranged if your worries may have a Reiki master.Pains and depression associated with the source of Reiki treatment can be spread online without sacrificing the quality of life.Wholeness comes when you inspire them to work with them.You may find it very exclusive and expensive.According to legend, the knowledge to me should be a Reiki Master.

Reiki Healing Yeppoon

Before we get older, we get take their toll.Reiki opens to him or anyone to bring about healing our illnesses.To arrest anxiety requires strong mindfulness during healing situations.It was then frozen and photographed through a Reiki practitioner means.. . for healing yourself; healing others; and here I will discuss ways to send Reiki treatments daily and within the unique attunements they choose for you.

Shamanic or Reiki Clinics as they pay the fee.Finally, you can visit a Reiki Principle to say in a faster recovery time after surgery.Some sellers will include a carrying case can be defined as the riches of attunement is simple and non invasive, it basically involves the use of Reiki provides deep relaxation brings these changes.Mental Body: connected to the veracity of the sessions.I find that Reiki is such a lovely office setting with several conditions, which will only works for the healing energy already flowing through your hands on particular spontaneous parts of her house and take the responsibility of the Ki flow, while positive thoughts and manifest diseases and disorders can be very helpful if this life force energy after studying in Christian schools, Buddhist monasteries and temples.

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