#it's also about how beautiful and wonderful love and imagination are perhaps ESPECIALLY bc shit's so bleak but.. anyway

[skrunksthatwunk]

wait you're a little prince fan? it's been one of your favorite books since you were young and you always found it compelling in a way nothing else ever quite was? bc something in it captured a pure and indelible sadness within you and gave it not a name but a face? oh you were SO depressed/suicidal as a child weren't you

[wallyaxiom]

𝚆𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴: 𝙵𝙰𝚅𝙾𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝚂

hey besties it’s me coming to do the waltmeme thing. I couldn’t just pick one character to call my favorite. it also felt unfair to do that as well when there’s so many amazing characters here. so grab a snack, put on your favorite tangled song in my honor and buckle up as i go through the list of my fave characters here at walt each person plays. present gen only. sorry to my next gen faves. maybe one day i’ll write a list for you. or not. i’ll keep you on your toes. 

𝕔𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕣𝕒 𝕛𝕒𝕘𝕖𝕣

cassandra is a character i love so much. tangled is a movie that means everything to me. kiara is the person who understands my tangled feels. the way you play cassandra...like how you said i have a grasp on reagan, you have such a perfect grasp on who cassandra is as a character. her voice is so clear. you understand who the character is and have transformed her into something more than what was given in the bio i wrote and also in the show that’s used for inspo. she’s a spectacular character and i love her so much. it’s an honor to be one half of elssandra but also cassunzel. she’s such an amazing character. you should be so proud of what you’ve brought to life, kiara.

𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕔𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕖𝕟

listen i told you every day how much i love monty. i literally scream it to you in your living room sometimes. i’ve seen every iteration of monty but i think this one is my favorite. i didn’t even know lightning’s real name was montgomery that was all you. so much of yourself is in monty. it reminds me of myself with wally and i think that’s the biggest reason why i love monty is because he’s bits and pieces of you and i love you very much. as much as i love cocky era lightning i love dad lightning even more. i wish i had a dad like him i’m not gonna lie but we’re not gonna unpack that on the man lmfao. i’m glad i’m more enveloped in his story now because he’s such a good character dude. like such a good written and played character. he’s second in my heart to sulley but is inching closer to number one by the day. 

𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕠 𝕓𝕖𝕣𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕚

fran !!! my bestie !!! my fave !!! i would die for them !!! like bee, i love talking to you about fran and all the tomfoolery they get into. you’ve played them for so long and each time you transform them into something better than the last. they age like a fine wine. in the past almost two years i’ve been able to be part of their story more & i’m so happy for that opportunity. you’ve put so much love, care and devotion into fran. you’ve added so much to their story. like they’re so fleshed out, how does your beautiful brain come up with all this backstory ??? lemme know i need some of those brain cells. they’re amazing. you’re amazing. i want fran to buy me and island and make me pasta but i’ll just them do that for caspian the favorite child. 

𝕠𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕓𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕨

hands down i had to put orion my future father in law. i’ve had the honor of watching you develop orion into something incredible over these past six years. ( holy cow !!! six ??? insane. ily ). he was a big bad, misunderstood boy and you’ve humanized orion. you’ve brought life into him and created such a beautifully crafted character. he has a heart now. perhaps a tiny one but it’s there. the backstory you’ve created for him and the future he has - all stunning and wonderful. i love this man. he deserves so much after the shit he’s been through. i’ve had the privilege of being in his orbit for a bit when i played logan. I still get to watch him and enjoy the light chaos he brings. i’m ready for the new era of casino owner orion and what trouble he’ll bring now. 

𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕘𝕘𝕪 𝕣𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕤

the boy !!! the legend !!! i love shaggy so much. first of all, the future you planned for him. how dare you ?? do you like to see me cry ?? is that it ??? i’m glad he hit his happy arc now because WOW. pain. shaggy is just a nice guy, man. he’s so nice to everyone he meets. i want to be friends with shaggy and scoob. i love mystery inc. i can’t imagine anyone else playing shaggy but you. to me, you are him. he’s the heart of the group. it’s not mystery inc without him. therefore, you’re the heart also. it’s not the same without you. 

𝕤𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕖 𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕘𝕦𝕖

i could easily write an essay about how i love all your characters and how you play them all so well but i had to give this spot to sadie. the teagues are my og loves. every time i see sadie the part of my brain where logan resides lights up. she’s such a good character. she’s a little devil and it’s exactly what we need. we need someone to stir up the pot and throw eggs at kids. sadie is a product of her environment. she’s so tough and had to be so young. no one her age should have to grow up so fast the way she did. i would like to wrap sadie in a blanket give her some coco with bat marshmallows and tell her to take a break. hug her. maybe give her some therapy to. i love her. you’ve brought her to life in such an amazing way. i hope her brothers join her soon so we can have that sibling goodness. 

𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕒 𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕒

i was tempted to put ian here because ian lightfoot is joel and we already know how much i love al and wendy but i decided to show the og love so i put nala. from the get go you knew who nala was going to be and where you wanted to go with her. you always bring so much to your characters. you develop them in ways that amazes me each time. go bestie go you’re so talented. i love how devoted she. how fierce she is but also the vulnerability you bring to her. she was thrown into a world at a young age fighting a war she wasn’t meant to and THAT’S a lot on someone. and we see that. i love the way you play her and i’m so happy you decided to take her up. sorry you have to deal with simba tho. pour one out. 

𝕘𝕖𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕩𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕙

everyone and their grandmother knows the oliver and co cast means everything to me. i’m so glad that you decided to join them ! you’re a wonderful addition. i love miss george. she’s fabulous in every sense of the word. sharpay evans is shaking in her lil boots. i just love divas. i love them. i am one. she’s perfect. and we know that’s not easy for her. i know your beautiful mind works wonders so i know there’s a lot of growing that georgette will be going through in the future and i’m excited for it. prayer circle for a jenny and oliver. 

𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕓𝕚𝕟𝕩

when you auditioned for thackery you already had an idea of where you wanted to take him and how you wanted to add to his character while staying true to the bio. that is the kind of stuff i like to see. this man has seen some shit and also has been through some shit. i do hope one day his soul can be at ease. he needs a long cat nap. you care a lot for thackery and it’s lovely to see. he may be a hamilton hoe but we have to respect the drip & love him for it anyways. 

𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕣

timmy boy deserves a hug. a hug and a nice space movie to take the edge off. you always put so much of your heart and yourself into your characters. you care so much for them and that’s evident in buzz. he’s goofy, he’s cool and he’s just so wonderful. i’m excited to see where buzz will go from here and how he’ll develop over time. i’m hoping some happiness. maybe some resolution with woodrow just to spice things up. that metal arm is still cool too. 

𝕕𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕟𝕖 𝕓𝕝𝕒𝕜𝕖

hey bestie !!! wow !!! daphne ??? gives me so much pain. I am so glad to be going on this angst journey of mystery inc and fred/daph with you. your love for her and the gang makes my heart so happy. i will happily spend hours talking about them and sending tiktoks to each other that remind us of them. you went beyond the assignment. you were just born to play daphne. you write her so well and understand her past the bio, past the inspirations of the live actions and mystery inc. you get her. you see her. she’s in good hands. i’m ready for all the pain she’s about to cause me. 

𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖

i love penelope. i really do. i am penelope’s number one stan. it was discussed before but it’s so easy to play miss piggy as unlikeable since she is such a brash character but you bring so much light and love to penny. it’s hard not to be in love with her and want her to succeed in everything she does. she’s the miss piggy we all grew up with but she’s also special because you’ve added your own personal touches to her. she’s an amazing character. i would punch anyone who’s wronged penelope. i’m excited for the layers to start peeling back and we see more of penny - especially her badass ways. i just love the way you play her and i love penelope hainline okay. i lovoe divas as stated above what can i say. 

𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕠𝕣𝕒 𝕔𝕒𝕡𝕦𝕝𝕖𝕥

ANNIE !!!! WOW AURORA ??? genuinely she is the love of my life. I love her so, so much. she’s so sweet and wonderful and deserve to be tucked in ??? read a bed time story ??? and not be cursed ??? why’d i do that. she deserves the world and so do you. in the short amount of time you’ve had her you’ve added so much depth to her story. which is not always easy the first few months you have a character but you’ve put in a lot of love into aurora already. you understood the assignment and & went beyond.  i’m so excited to see where she goes on her journey and what will happen when he hopefully get a maleficent one day. also is it an aurora shoutout without me saying philip loves her ??? bc he does. 

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Athenas Masterpost

This is going to cover everything Athenas, like the official page and trailer, both new trailers, the art book preview, and some stuff shown in the ign trailers. It’s a lot.

There will NOT be endgame spoilers in this post. If there’s anything that comes up that I want to discuss, you can find it in a spoiler post I’ll be making soon :) I DO discuss a thing that occurs during the first 3 hours of BL3, though I think that’s pretty okay with y’all lol

tl;dr: there’s too much to summarize. 13 days until bl3. lmao im screaming on the inside.

“A misty, tranquil planet that has recently attracted the wrong kind of attention. Athenas is mostly uninhabited, save for a sect of monks known as the Order of the Impending Storm who have made their home in the high peaks of the mountains. What secrets do they guard here, inside ancient walls that were built long before humans set foot on Athenas?”

We definitely got a lot less info for Athenas than the other planets, and I can see why. They want to keep it mysterious.

Also, I’m not saying I totally called it that the pyramid was Eridian, but I totally called it. I am surprised it’s implying that the entire area was built by them, but what can ya do 🤷‍♂️

Anyway, since this post is long overdue, let’s just jump right in!

The Athenas video is nearly half the time of the Eden-6 one, so there’s not a lot to cover unfortunately:

We’ve seen this shot multiple times before

also the emphasis that Athenas is ‘tranquil’ and ‘peaceful’ ahahahaha no it’s not.

i love these dudes! Order of the Impending Storm!!! I wonder if their funky goggle things have anything to do with Sirens, like how they have Siren-trackers. I also really love their outfits. lowkey want one of these robes.

a great overview look of the area leading up to the pyramid. I got more to say about this... but it’s probably best if i leave it for later on in the post after we get more info

also, note the water and the rocks and stuff on the left there. This will come into play later... not even in this post. a later post.

also i totally called this being an ancient aliens reference lol

Vault logo on the flag there. definitely shows how much these guys worship the Vaults

This!!! I have so much to talk about here!

alright so now that we know what the vault keys look like.... this doesn’t appear to be part of any of the Vault Keys we’ve seen. especially not the Promethean one. not even the pyramid shaped one.

im mostly interested in this because this is obviously a monk, her robes match the ones we saw above with the hood. she doesn’t appear to be Eridian because we’ve seen the Watcher and the other Guardians, who are built in the image of the Eridians, and she looks wayyy too human. We’ve also seen statues of the Eridians in that one shot of the Pandora temple.

so it seems like the monks have gone inside the pyramid before and... built this statue? for some reason??? It’s interesting that she has an extra pair of arms as well. I wonder if she is like the Siren ancestor of Amara. which could prove my theory that the next successor of Amara would have another set of arms... it might also explain why Amara’s tattoos are everywhere on the buildings (outside of her being the Tiger)

it would also explain this shot, the skeleton with the book, which we now know we’ve seen before with Maya:

so even though they’re protecting the pyramid/temple, i don’t think they’ve been avoiding it entirely- at least not for the first time after discovering it. maybe they stopped going in after they discovered something bad, somethin like iunno... the Rampagers?

it would be Really Weird if the Eridians built that statue, especially when they probably didn’t know what humans looked like at the time. unless of course they helped shape humanity or smth. meaning they probably personally created Sirens. oh that’d be wild... i wonder if we’re going to learn about how early Sirens shaped humanity in that case. discovering fire could be entirely different lol

“hallowed land” 

i wonder if this is where we’ll have anointed gear explained to us... i imagine the order is still worshipping Eridian/Siren stuff, so them having all sorta knowledge of this stuff would make sense

more Maliwan. you guys notice we see cultists purely on Eden-6 (outside of the crashed ship), but Maliwan purely on Athenas? a mix on Promethea, tho that’s bc we’ve actually gotten gameplay. 

So my guess is Maliwan has joined up with the cult (be it through whatever means: Maliwan is in) and they’re looking for the Promethea key. which makes sense. they’re attacking Rhys on Promethea, so when he helps us out, word probably gets back to Maliwan (somehow) and they swap from wanting to take over Atlas (either by defeating them w/ Zer0/that giant space laser/whatever or just changing priorities) to wanting to open that fuckin Vault. Teaming up with the CoV is the best way to ensure that happens. I’m sure there will oodles of betrayal going on between the two parties.

I LOVE THESE THINGS

THEY’RE AMAZING

GOOD BOYS

in all seriousness, actually, im curious why we don’t see these good boys on Promethea. maybe they’re only for the top-tier squads? (mechanically, probably higher-level enemies) they look super high tech, so i would not be surprised if Maliwan thought Atlas would be an easy takeover so they didn’t send everything they could have

Nog! not much to say here tbqh

“Protect Athenas Before It’s Too Late”

I imagine before Maliwan gets the Vault Key or some other wild power, like power over the Rampagers. seriously, in the We Are Mayhem trailer, there’s a rampager are fighting on the side of Maliwan (altho if this is The One Rampager, or just One of Many is hard to tell. it could morph depending on which element it is. we just don’t know. personally i think there’s 1 per planet... i’ll explain later)

From the Art Book Preview:

Alright yes. “Maliwan forces have already seized control of the monastery, where part of the Promethean Vault Key has been located, turning a simply recovery mission into a vicious firefight...... A large and foreboding crypt built into the side of the mountain was also designed, and might perhaps have housed the Vault Key fragment deep within its gloomy interiors”

i don’t think this means the crypt is like an actual area. it would be interesting to discover that the pyramid is a giant crypt because... jesus. it would fit with the whole pyramid theme, at least. altho im wondering if this is more like a labyrinth situation where they’re trying to keep a Rampager inside as well as the treasure... which MAY be a Vault Key Fragment

Actually, this brings up a great point: did Atlas spread the Vault Key out throughout the planets? Is this where Typhon originally found that Key fragment? wtf was in the Vault that Atlas needed to disassemble the Key and return its fragments? oh boy i hope it’s something scary

From the Moze Eden-6 E3 Gameplay:

oh ye this. okay so this is definitely 100% Eridian. I’m guessing we get this from Athenas because this seems like a fairly important object and, well, Athenas is all about Eridian stuff. When we go through the next few videos, keep an eye out for the temples. You’ll see the glowing red diamond shape constantly reappearing there.

one of the devs admitted that there are hunks of Eridian Writing left around the world that will ‘open up’ things for the players, so I imagine this is exactly what we’ll use to get to it. If this IS only for endgame stuff I’ll be slightly disappointed. I know we have access to this before Eden-6, since there are gameplay videos that show the player breaking the Eridium chunks with this thing. the above one is from the Moze Eden-6 gameplay, tho I’ve also seen newer footage from the Balex gameplay with this same tool

The following clips can be found in this video:

im mostly interested in the wall art here

what looks like a sun or a planet

this symbol which makes an appearance elsewhere

these two are the same area, im imagining this is the fight up to the pyramid, with Maliwan forces and barricades everywhere

the sun again in the background (middle top)

this cool piece (bottom left of the above pic) which looks like a hand covered in glowing blue. i imagine this is some sorta representation of Phaselock? mainly because of the blue orb in the palm of her hand

not much to say about this area tbh. looks like a residential area to me, so possibly not in the residential district

writing on the top mid-right. 

idk why i just noticed these trees are green and not red but yeah, that’s interesting. so probably a different area from Amara’s trailer aka: not Partali

and yet we see amara’s tattoos on the building in the back right. sorry for such terrible quality btw, tumblr ate these images and spit them back out

These clips can be found in the Borderlands are Yours trailer:

looks like the small building we see directly next to Maya and Ava

altho very clearly not the same exact area so im curious what these are supposed to represent. tbh im kinda reminded of graveyards. i really hope there aren’t corpses in those omg

another better look at the two pieces of art. i imagine the one on the right has something to do with the eridians given its in a diamond shape, which we know has something to do with the eridians now

also im not playing amara first (possibly last. depending on how i feel fl4k may go last) but HOLY SHIT her action skills are beautiful

THIS FUCKER

i know he’s probably a vault monster but like... 

idk i feel its kinda sad gearbox is showing off a VAULT MONSTER of all things in so much promo material. like why is he fighting with Maliwan/the cult in the We are Mayhem trailer??

sup with that?

does he have multiple stages?? is that’s why he changes elements? goes from two heads to wings to extended necks. like wtf is up with this guy?? he definitely looks like he can be elementally charged given his eye sockets aren’t glowing when he emerges like they do

here but then

this dude looks like he has an entirely different skull like...

this dude is a corrosive one who also seems to be working with Maya (who i guess IS probably the corrosive aligned siren)

and we’re guessing the nuclear charged one is the one from Athenas... for reasons i’ll explain below

AND honestly i've been thinking and maybe the fire one is actually from Promethea? and maybe there’s another that’s on Eden-6 and another on Pandora?

alright so i have 2 reasons for this. one involves spoiler talk with the cloth map, so that won’t be discussed here (but if you see the map and the planets, you’ll understand what i’m alluding to here, most likely). the other is that in this screenshot of all the quests from the Eden-6 demo:

we see immediately after “hostile takeover” is the quest “the impending storm”. which is, indeedy, a reference to the Order of the Impending Storm. We know they’re on Athenas, so I imagine we run over to Athenas to get part of the Vault Key. We’ve established from the art book that’s where it is.

but then after The Impending Storm, Space-Laser Tag (which we all know is that giant-ass laser thing in the asteroid belt), and Atlas, at Last, there’s a quest called Beneath the Meridian.

And we know this area... is definitely underground. we’ve seen with the fire-y boy that the ceiling is just rocks

then we see this shot with the nuclear (?) one where the window outside is clearly showing off mountains/sky, which we know is kinda Athenas’s deal

and we know these two areas are the same v ^

since there’s the same ‘Vault’ in the background

so my only problem with this entire theory that there’s multiple rampagers is that

we see the twins killing/absorbing the red/fire one’s power which is also on athenas since the background is the same as the vault area from the above two pictures. unless there’s a similar vault-thing on promethea and eden-6. we know there’s one on Pandora, but that one is outside so.

so i guess they are the same beasty boy but... why why why show us one of the vault monsters

it’s so cool going in blind and not knowing what you’re going to get out of it.

so im going to say this is a minor vault monster (especially given it’s not exactly the same rock-like design as the other vault monsters) and the ‘vaults’ are actually something smaller. maybe they hold keys, or the pieces of the keys, or they’re part of that teleportation network i keep talking about (and i guess i should just make a seperate post about it) but i don’t know if these are actual Big Boy Vaults. especially when the Rampager doesn’t match actual Eridian-created Vault Monsters

that said given we see a bunch of dead guardians on the floor, its possible the rampager killed them? but i get the feeling we might actually be the ones to pull the trigger cause... combat is fun

so. yeah. if the rampager is guarding something that’s fine. i wanna believe teleportation network. i’d love to see the twins come in, walk out of that vault, absorb the rampager’s powers, and then walk out after locking us in like ‘peace’ and we have to use the teleportation system to make it back to promethea with the vault key fragment or whatever

[im here after the cloth map reveal like... uh huh. i see. u dumb bitchard.]

idk i just thought this was a fun screenshot lol

BoRdErLaNdS

ah yes

that’s eridium

this also appears to be in the temple, but, like, again if there’s more than one temple this could also be on Pandora or even Eden-6. Kinda leaning towards Pandora. HOWEVER since we only know for certain this sort of temple area is on Athenas (from that one statue shot), we’re gonna analyze this bad boy right now (also lowkey think this is Pandora because of the varkid nests but shhh)

what do i actually have to say about it? uhhh not much tbh. i think i’ve said all that needs to be said concerning the twins mutating cultists with slag/eridium. 

i will say im pretty shocked at, like, the eridium HORNS and shit. so maybe this is just some cool little miniboss. (okay not mini because look how big he’s gotten!! just like Bloodwing :D)

you know what, it looks like he’s standing on one of these

floor tile things, and now im super curious. is the fire part of a trap? is it powering this lad up? i definitely know he’s a cultist because he’s got the neon light tubes on his shoulder pad

see here

you can see these on other cultists like goliaths and such and such

also this is pretty similar to what we’ve seen in the LLE (especially the powersuits) given their bodies also form eridium crystals when they’ve ascended

i feel like its powering him up

you know during the fight with bloodwing when Jack powers up bloodwing using the elemental flamethrower things? would be interesting if this is similar to that.

like dis

yeahhh

the radiation boy is back and he’s actually elementally charged this time

huzzah

also i love the chest mouth lmao

has anyone here seen stretch armstrong? like that one episode where Gabe (crostini man) gets turned into a bunch of flexarium monster chunks

but yeah, awesome mouth my guy.

im curious if it’s being elementally charged to cryo or if it’s stopped being charged. if this is like a cutscene between different stages in the fight, etc etc. 

this also looks fairly similar to this area here

but red this time. which... may tie into the elemental stages. which maaaaay tie into those floor platforms elementally charging that demon baby up above. bloodwing 2.0!

You can find the following clips in the Official Guide to the Borderlands:

god i keep telling myself to be on the lookout for athenas clips but i get so distracted by the gorgeousness of this fucking game i forget and have to keep going back

if that dude in the back floating was t-posing i would have lost my shit

new Siren tattoos!!! we haven’t seen these before. they’re very flowy, i love them. i hope we get to meet the siren with them!

i also loooooove this area in the back. i hope we get to climb it and explore. i would love to just be able to climb to high up areas in bl3 and look down and see the area i just came from. it’s possible! we have the technology! thousand cuts / bnk3r ascension 2.0!!!

more of amara’s awesome looking powers

zane has 2 trans pride skins im so happy 😄

also look at how teeny tiny that ‘Vault’ is in the back!!! it’s only like 2x the size of Iron Bear!!! gimme BIG vaults!! GIANT VAULTS

also also

the VOID vault

i get a feeling these are connected somehow.

sniper spoooot

not much to say about this tbh. zane’s claw things look fucking dope tho. i want one irl.

we’ve seen this shot a few times before already

alright before you get mad, let me explain why i think this is athenas

you see this picture

this maliwan jackass. the building to his left is 100% athenas architecture.

the rocks in the top picture look identical to the ones next to him. plus we’ve seen water in the distance of some of the areas of Athenas

it could also be Eden-6 (which honestly i would not be surprised if it is instead) but given the ivy and the rocks i felt it was worthwhile to put in. plus the moving eridian structures are so cool looking. i feel like that’s going to be a puzzle.

oh oh also

maybe that area leads into/exits from here? because they’re both underground in cavern-like areas

but like... it could also be eden-6... because of that one shot of the temple area in the side of the cliff ASDFHDGJFJGFHSD

still radiation charged. 

also seriously this ‘Vault’ is wayyyy smaller than a regular Vault. like... the one in BL2 that you can walk right up to... huge. and nothing even comes out of it. the Warrior climbs up from over the edge

the bl1 is much bigger than this one, too. also the vault of the traveller, i would argue is the biggest out of all of them but eh

for the Vault of the Sentinel, the actual arch we see... i’ve already gone over why i don’t think that’s a ‘real’ vault and that its all more of a simulation, but you can read that whole thing here bc i am trying my damndest to not get off topic for this post because holy fucking shit. this got long.

Alright so. Onto the website pictures

another cool shot of the academic district, really showing off the pyramid in the background. god i wanna know what that is. could be the temple (underground things notwithstanding). it’s probably holding that statue with the vault keys in either arm

you know the one, it’s at the beginning of this post. but damn that thing is huge!! i am hoping it holds more than just the promethean vault key. 

did i already talk about how there are siren tattoos written along the edges of this area??? because... damn.

also the symbol for what is probably Vault Key sitting right smack dab in the middle??

also sorry i just noticed those blue shapes are moving. like a fountain or something?? weird light.

i mean... the trees are also warping in the background. wonder wtf is going on here... 

anyway whatever she’s holding actually doesn’t match up with any of the vault keys we’ve seen so... wtf are you???

a very nice shot overlooking the water. also a wind turbine in the background. i think the area on the left is where we’ve seen ava and maya? but dont hold me to that lol

definitely looks the same. even has the tree

another shot of that area i think we’ve seen Amara fighting in

big shot of the pyramid with the vault symbol everywhere. and the planet with the beams coming out of it. which in retrospect...

anyway that’s spoiler talk so let’s talk in another post.

another shot of athenas from a slightly different angle, we’ve seen this one before, too, and i remember because i complemented the road signs

annnnd im tired. good night everybody.

[djemsostylist]

I watched Captain Marvel...and I think I hated it.  A Review

So like, I really hated Captain Marvel.  Well, hate’s a strong word I guess.  But given what it could have been, and what we were given instead, well.  It’s better than Gagnarok, which is faint praise, I suppose given how much I despised the last Thor outing.  

This movie had so much potential.  So. Much. Potential.  Because they actually had the bones of a good movie.  The casting, as per usual for Marvel, was spot on.  They created some really interesting characters who weren’t actually cliches like they very easily could have been.  And the idea of an origin movie that merely exists for its own sake, especially this late in the MCU lineup, is an interesting one. 

Thing is though, this one...well, it sucked.  And I think it’s entirely because of the writing and directing.  It read like a YA version of a Marvel movie.  And it’s the first time in a while that I read reviews and thought “What am I missing?”  Most of the round-up that I saw prior to the movie claimed that Sam Jackson and Ben Mendelsohn were a delight, the humor and nineties references were subtle and delightful, and that the whole movie didn’t force things on you but rather allowed the moments to breathe.  Even here--the majority of the people I follow are gushing over the movie and the relationships and the subtle building of Carol’s backstory and I’m just like....?  Because I got none of that?

Fury, as a character in this movie, makes literally no sense.  He seems a whole lot more like Sam Jackson than Nick Fury, and if this movie was attempting to show us how a young and bouncy Nicholas J. Fury became the jaded leader of SHIELD, than they fucking failed.  Fury cooing over cats and completely trusting aliens makes no sense, and rather than have him grow over the course of the movie into the Nick Fury we see today, he does...none of that?  He was frankly kind of obnoxious, and the amount of moments he dropped a not so quippy one liner the writers desperately wanted us to laugh at made me actively irritated by the end. 

Maria was a fascinating character, or she could have been?  She and Carol are wingmen test pilots, working under a female scientist developing cutting edge technology.  She’s a single mother in the military with a precocious young daughter and together with her best friend they’ve made themselves a family.  Her best friend is then killed in a horrible accident gone wrong, and she...actually I don’t know.  I’m assuming she left the Air Force perhaps because, like Sam Wilson, she had a hard time finding a reason to stay in.  At least that would be what I assume.  And maybe she always thought Carol survived and the Air Force covered up something they shouldn’t have been doing and maybe she took a quiet retirement in return for not asking questions, and maybe she always wondered what happened the day that Carol died.  I don’t know, really, since they don’t ever really allow her to do much of anything except tell Carol who she is 5 times and then suddenly decide to go into space because her daughter told her to.  We were robbed of Maria, is what I’m saying, and I think they could have given us so much more.  (Give me a story where Maria takes the retirement and the payout and moves to Louisiana but never really stops looking for answers because Carol wouldn’t just have died like that and one day she digs too deep and she runs into an Agent named Nick Fury who was looking into something too and together they discover what the Air Force tried to cover up all those years ago.  Frankly, I feel like this should have been the plotline that Earth had sans Carol, but I digress).  

Carol’s team was criminally underused.  Gemma Chan, Jude Law, Djimon Hounsou (and those other dudes)--they had virtually no part.  And it could have been fascinating.  Carol was with them for 6 years.  6 years.  That’s a ridiculously long time actually.  And she has a life there.  At least, we can assume?  She appears to have an apartment (or quarters), access to public transit, etc.  She is close to Jude Law (I refuse to call him Yon Rogg bc that is a fucking stupid name), and she is also, again ostensibly, close to his team (hereafter called Kree Team 6).  The scene with them boarding the plane for their first mission together (which totally did not feel like that at all) was interesting, and a lovely glimpse in to team and the dynamics.   I liked seeing how they fought together, their ethical views (they go out of their way not to hurt the locals/refugees, which we’ll get to later).  And I loved the look into Kree society--it felt more real and grounded than any of the alien societies (beside Asgard) that we’ve seen before.  But we get nothing from them.  Like, Gemma Chan has 3? lines?  Hounsou has maybe 2?  And Jude Law 100% feels like he was supposed to Mar Vel (and likely her lover?) before someone, sometime after way too much of the script had been written, decided not to go that direction.  Which leads me to the next question, of why not?  Because Carol doesn’t need a love interest? I mean, sure I guess, but Thor, Steve, Bruce, and Tony have all had a love interest, and I don’t think it detracted from their stories?  Like, Tony still has his bond with Rhodey, Steve obviously has his with Bucky, Thor is still codependent on Loki.  Would Carol being in a relationship with Jude Law prevent her from having an equally or more important relationship with Maria?  Like, I would have loved for about half the movie to take place with Carol still with the Kree, if only so that we could have felt something of Carol’s relationship and connection with them, which would make the revelations that much more crushing when she does find out.  Like, how much worse is it if Carol has an actual life with them (which has likely only been a little bit shorter than the amount of time she’s been in the Air Force) only to find out it’s all based off a lie?  Only, it wasn’t totally a lie because she had friends and a home and a job and a lover and a life which she wouldn’t have had if they hadn’t taken her, and yet.

I loved Carol.  Or at least, I think I did?  Reviews kept whining that Carol was brainwashed half the movie, which sure, but she was no Bucky Barnes.  And I loved that.  I loved that she has awful nightmares that wake her up and make her seek out her lovermentor to spar, but she is still herself.  Like, she isn’t deadened and unemotional and tormented.  She’s happy and scrappy and sarcastic and goofy and bouncy and a little bit of a hothead and she is still herself.  I loved the scene when she looks at the guy over the newspaper, the sly little half smile she gets when she says “Heroes.  Noble warrior heroes” like she knows she’s being a little bitch and she loves it.  I love that when she knocks on Jude Law’s door at 2:00 in the morning he can’t even pretend to be irritated with her.  I love that she banters with her team and loves her powers and isn’t afraid of dying.  I loved who Brie Larson made her in the spare few moments she had between the awful directing and the horrible lines and the things that didn’t really make sense.  I can’t wait to see her in Endgame, and much like I did with Hawkeye in Civil War, go “Oh, there’s Carol!” because she had been hiding behind a shitty plot and horrible dialog and suffocating directing for far too long.  (Also, I loved her costume and her design and the mohawk is beautiful, and her powers aren’t OP at all.)

Like, imagine if the movie is divided into Carol with the Kree slowly realizing shit ain’t what it seems and the other plotline is Fury and Maria trying to find out wtf is going on, and then they meet up in the climax to take down the bad guys.  We get to know Carol, Maria, and their relationship to each other and everyone else.  Imagine if we didn’t have to guess at literally everything.  And imagine if, in the end, Carol leaves, not because she has to guide the fucking Skrulls to a new home, but because she’s functionally immortal now, and what kind of a life does she have with Maria and Earth any more?  (Like, the movie doesn’t address this at all, but I mean, this is a Thing.  Whether it’s because she’s Kree (wtf did the blood transfusion do?) or because of her powers, she is immortal now, yes?  Or as immortal as Thor or Steve, theoretically.) 

The thing is, the Russo’s and Markus and McFeely are really, really good at taking little things and tiny moments and making us know and understand backstory, and showing us how relationships grow and develop in the things we can’t see or don’t have time to see.  These writers/directors...are not.  They suck, frankly.  Who is Mar Vel, what is her relationship with Carol and Maria, what was Carol’s life like in Kree land, why is Maria retired and living in the Bayou, why is Fury on uppers, how did Carol become a Kree, why did they give her the disk control thingy and why doesn’t she take it off, what did they tell her about her past, and most importantly, WTF with the Skrulls and Kree.  How did you manage to tell us how to feel to for an entire movie while also telling us nothing at all.  (Also, The Russo’s and M&M are good with continuity while still writing new things, while these people, are, again, not.  Like, don’t even get me started on the Tesseract.)

And then, okay, when the Kree Team attacks that first planet to save their operative, they are all super specific about making sure the locals don’t get hurt, they protest the innocent, etc.  Gemma Chan immediately pulls up her rifle when they say they are just civilians, Jude Law goes out of his way to put up a shield to protect his dudes and NOT hurt the locals, and he seems sorta grossed out by Ronan and his zealots.  So...wtf with the “all Kree all evil murdered who kill babies and the Skrulls just want to be with their families.”  Like, it’s so fucking tired.  A twist for twist sake, which if you didn’t see that coming...well, that’s on you.  I’d be much more here for “everyone sucks a little bc people can suck sometimes” rather than the shlocky bullshit family reunion I was forced to endure.  The Skrulls were fucking insufferable frankly, and the entire reveal with Talos and the Skrulls from then on was like an embarrassing episode of Stargate.  

And look, I’m not opposed to humor in Marvel movies. I’m not, I swear!  I legit loved both Antman’s, Peter always fills my heart with smiles, and Sam Wilson refusing to move his seat up made me legit cackle.  I don’t like when I feel like the writers spend an entire movie nudging me in the ribs with increasing brutality while screaming “Isn’t it FUNNY THO???”  Because no, dear writers, no it’s not.  And yes, yes I do get the jokes, but good god could we have a minute?  I mean, by the end, the jokes were literally being telegraphed a few 30 seconds before they dropped.  (The Kree scanning people--Cat, High danger level.  I bet Fury’s going to be...oh yeah, hahaha he is a nonexistent threat isn’t that hilaARIOUS?  No, it’s fucking stupid.)  

It was, frankly, awful.  I hated it, so much so that by the end I couldn’t even muster up enough of a Give a Fuck to care that her callsign was Avenger (and I fucking LOVE callsigns) or care that the stinger had all of my children.  I really didn’t.  This movie was so fucking disappointing because it didn’t have to be bad.  It really didn’t.  If they had hired competent writers and directors (I should have known when they hired the Tomb Raider lady this was going to be awful), they could have made it work.  They really, really could have.  And they didn’t and everyone loves it and I’m happy because shitty butthurt fanboys are being legit gross about this and I want them to be crushed by money, but.  I want the next movie to have better writing and better directing because it’s what we deserve.  I don’t want to have to keep settling, because it’s good enough.  

[its-love-u-asshole]

Twelve Hours [Ch. 7]

Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou has dealt with a lot since he was eighteen, each year bringing the same depressing challenges on the same depressing night. He expects this time to be no different, but the universe is trying desperately to prove him wrong in the most bizarre ways imaginable. So screw it, Kuroo’s only choice is to buckle in and hope he doesn’t die. Easy enough. And hey, with some new allies at his side, maybe he has a chance. Who knows? At least Kuroo is sure of one thing in life when it comes to March 15th, and he stands by this unwritten law, no matter what happens:

If you try to kill pizza delivery boys on Purge Night, you’re irrevocably a bitch.

Rating: T

Tags: Purge AU, mentions of violence but nothing graphic or too bad, no character deaths here okay, this is borderline crack and idk what I was thinking, first meetings, other characters, shenanigans and just…a lot of fun (it seems angsty but its not)

Note: I'm finally back! This chapter was tougher to get through bc emotions, and I took some time away to finish a majority of my other multichapter! Soon it'll just be this fic to worry about, for a little while at least. But until then I hope you all enjoy this longer chapter <3 Thank you to @emeraldwaves for reading this over! 

Read on AO3!

“I’m starving, do you think McDonalds is open during the Purge?”

And naturally, thirty minutes later, they were back to this shit. Albeit, with a bit more admiration towards Yamamoto, and each other. Oh, and no back bumper.

But still. This.

“Ew, I sure hope not. Can you imagine dying in a McDonald’s if you’re an employee?” Suga spoke up from where he was flipping through a magazine, not at all approving of Futakuchi's craving. As a pizza delivery man, Kuroo tried not to take offense, and thinking about it, he sure hoped he didn't die in this uniform. As if recognizing the joke, Tsukishima's eyes flashed in the rearview mirror, twinkling in delight.

Jerk. But Kuroo's grin pretty much negated any real bite.

Futakuchi stared out the window from his new seat in the second row, behind Terushima. He seemed more or less fine, and Kuroo had to say he was impressed with how he'd managed to regain his cool. “Well with all the high calorie food and processed McNuggets at least I can say I died doing what I loved.”

Yamamoto squinted. “Er...eating McNuggets?”

“Dying.”

Good lord.

Then again, perhaps Futakuchi coped with trauma in less conventional ways. Kuroo couldn't help but be a little jealous though; at this point, coping was pointless for him. Each experience got added to the burden on his back, that was all.

He wondered if Tsukishima's shoulders were as heavy.

"Can we just...have some silence please?" Tsukishima sighed, making another strange turn down an empty road. They'd stopped questioning him after three or four detours, he seemed to know his way around enough. Plus, how much more car trouble could they possibly have?

To his surprise the car didn't protest. It must've been the exhaustion or the hunger, because everyone sat back quietly, like a rowdy bunch of kids on a road trip. Kuroo figured that was the most innocent analogy, given their situation. Not even Futakuchi argued as he burned a hole into the back of Terushima's head.

Ah yes, the other elephant in the room.

...car.

The fearless leader occupied the passenger seat now, something Kuroo hadn't questioned despite his reluctance. Tsukishima knew it was important for Terushima to be at the front of things, this was his expedition after all. Kuroo had moved farther up to the second row though, because no way was he not sitting behind Tsukishima. If that was as close as he was allowed, he'd stay there.

As time passed, he'd wondered if it had been the best course of action though, isolating Terushima in the front when Futakuchi's concerned stare begged for him to join the rest of their friends.

Terushima hadn't spoken since they'd moved back into the car, after the relieved tears had been shed. Kuroo could see the lines of tension in his shoulders, begging to be pressed, the gritting teeth he wasn't even trying to conceal. It was enough to make Kuroo feel like a coil, and he was the most relaxed he'd been all night.

Again, Kuroo caught Tsukishima's eyes in the mirror, the same question sitting between them.

Should we say something?

The option felt clunky and unnatural, even as he imagined it. What would he say?

Tsukishima sighed, turning back to the road as his fingers curled around the wheel. Guess that meant he didn't know either.

To think he and Tsukishima were so capable when it came to fighting, strategizing, watching everyone's backs...

And yet, who knew when the last time they'd dealt with emotions had been? Kuroo at least had Bokuto and Akaashi, and his family out of the country, but...

Images of an empty living room and bland walls flashed in his mind. The lack of chairs at a dinner table...

When did Tsukishima talk about these things? Did he ever get the chance?

Kuroo surely didn't. No matter how Bokuto pried, he kept his shit locked up behind double steel doors guarded by mutant crocodiles in his heart.

Point: he and Tsukishima could do a lot, but he wasn't so sure about this.

Kuroo sighed, leaning against the tinted windows as the streetlights passed, the remnants of barely burning bonfires blurring on the side of the road every now and again. He had to give it to Tsukishima, his route made no sense, but Kuroo had barely seen any people in the last half hour.

He knew feeling safe was never one hundred percent during the Purge, but with Tsukishima here, it was the closest they'd all get. He couldn't help but wonder how knowledge of this route had come to the blond though.

Had he once been lost in this city too? On the worst night of the year no less?

Facing something like this alone was something Kuroo did all the time without even realizing, but Tsukishima lacked Kuroo's false indifference and mundane delivery routes. When Tsukishima had gone out into the Purge, he'd done so with a goal, one he'd kill for.

Kuroo's pretend bravery didn't compare, nor did his occasional wrong turn in a suburban neighborhood. If Tsukishima had ventured out into the limitless city, Kuroo could only imagine how afraid he might've been.

It almost made him feel guilty, because now those experiences had become their salvation.

It was also a reason Kuroo barely worried when they got a flat tire minutes later. He was the only one though.

"Oh fuck, oh no," Suga began fretting as the car slowed to a stop, maneuvered expertly to the side of the road by a still silent Tsukishima. "I can't believe this! What now? How are we supposed to get there now?"

Tsukishima unbuckled his seatbelt gently, reaching into the glovebox as hell broke loose in the car.

If Kuroo didn't marry him, he'd be so disappointed in himself.

Kuroo could've been worried himself, but what was the point? If he could survive Honda Rodeo he could survive anything.

"We're all gonna die aren't we? This is the end of the line," Yamamoto said, and Kuroo didn't mean to judge him, but c'mon. The man was hyperventilating, seconds away from breaking a window which would be a real problem. Suga also fidgeted roughly in his seat, looking out every window like the plague of Purgers would descend on them any minute now.

Relax, holy fuck.

Futakuchi seemed preoccupied with his not-boyfriend still, a problem which sat at the front of Kuroo's brain way more than this car situation, especially when Tsukishima finally graced them all with his words of encouragement and patience.

"Shut up," Tsukishima hissed, stuffing a car rag from the glove box into Yamamoto's mouth. Oh, so that's what he needed from there. Thank you. "I know how to change a damn tire. There should be a spare in the back."

Silence filled the car; Kuroo tried not to propose on the spot.

Yamamoto let the rag fall out of his mouth like it was no big deal, and honestly none of them would've tried to fight the blond anyways. It plopped to the floor pathetically. "...oh. Cool."

Jeez.

The car relaxed again, and Kuroo allowed himself to glance at their surroundings, trying to be somewhat smart about things. They were by the beach now, a coastal highway with hardly any buildings lining it. Not exactly a fun place to find people to murder.

Once more, Tsukishima had thought so much through, and knew so much.

Wait a second...

Kuroo perked up, glancing at Tsukishima as he stepped out of the car. "Do you really? Know how to change it I mean?"

Tsukishima stopped right before closing the door, his shock at the question palpable. Kuroo didn't think it was that weird. Hesitance flashed in those beautiful eyes as Tsukishima shyly nodded, his voice small and a far cry from moments before. "My dad was a mechanic before...yeah. He taught me."

"Oh," he replied pathetically, his curiosity dimming. "I'm sorry."

Tsukishima's smile was small, but it was enough to soothe Kuroo anyways.

As Tsukishima busied himself, Kuroo sat back, letting the information sit with him. He was all too aware of the blond's movements behind him, getting the tire and the toolkit out, wasting no time in setting out all his equipment. He did it with such calm efficiency, Kuroo couldn't put a finger on why it bothered him. He thought the feeling was admiration, and some curiosity, and most of it was, but...

"At least now we'll survive," Yamamoto said, getting ready to hop out of the car while Tsukishima changed the tire. Ah yes, the worst part. But seeing no threats in the area, Kuroo hopped out like it was any other day, indulging in the fantasy.

Plus, he was happy to be facing Tsukishima again. The back tire had been the one to blow, and Kuroo wasted no time in helping him get the jack situated, his fingers grazing Tsukishima's every so often.

He would've gladly worked in the comfortable silence, if a familiar voice hadn't stopped him.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Terushima scoffed, unmoving from his seat, and even Tsukishima thought it necessary to pause.

They'd both been expecting something like this.

The rest of the group jumped, all heads turning to what usually meant lighthearted jokes, an easy tone. Not this time, and Futakuchi must've caught onto that too.

He tried to open Terushima's door, but the leader denied him that, solidifying the wall he'd haphazardly placed around himself. Kuroo tried not to stare at how the brunet's expression cracked. "Yuuji..."

Terushima's breathing sounded like simmering heat, threatening to boil over.

"You can stop making jokes about it now, it's a flat tire, not life or death," Terushima snarled, and Kuroo could feel the fire raging beneath, waiting. He and Tsukishima didn't move. They knew.

Yamamoto did not. "Actually it kinda is tonight. We're just trying to stay positive..."

"As positive as we can be given the Fast and Furious remake we just lived through," Suga said, fanning himself with his magazine. Beside him, Yamamoto giggled, but Futakuchi just backed away from the car, catching onto what Kuroo had anticipated thirty minutes ago.

It was all apparently the last straw.

Terushima whipped around, and his voice trembled, the storm of emotions in his expression stronger than the tide Kuroo could hear rushing in his ears. A tumultuous sea.

"Can you guys shut up!" It's not funny okay? You almost died not even a fucking hour ago, and you're here joking about fucking McDonald's and the car and everything! What's wrong with you?" The desperation made his friends flinch, and Kuroo felt Tsukishima rise to his feet beside him, ready to intervene.

But he stayed put, like he knew this whole thing was necessary. How closely did he relate? More than Kuroo did, probably.

"Hey," Yamamoto began, the guilt seeping into his tone. He didn't get the chance. "I didn't--"

Terushima hand slammed against the middle console, and he stared at it, offended, like he wished the car would just completely fall to pieces. "No! We all could be lying in the road right now but I guess none of you care that we--I almost lost---just fuck this! Okay? What's the point anymore? Why...why are we doing this?"

It was an after shock of doubt, much like how Terushima had felt back in Tsukishima's home, but worse now. Realer. Experienced.

The group stared on, appalled, and Kuroo could tell where their thoughts had gone. How could Terushima ask such a thing after how far they'd probably all come? Kuroo could imagine the nights of planning, the shared worries, the goodbyes they'd said to their families with no explanation...

There were a million reasons why they'd done this, Terushima's mom, justice, many more stupid, human things. None of them felt anymore childish than the last in Kuroo's mind, his hatred of naivety be damned. They all had their weaknesses, he was no exception.

They'd all believed in this night, in Terushima. Maybe that's why Kuroo's heart ached at seeing Futakuchi's hand touch the glass window, seeing Suga curl in on himself as he sat on the dirty road.

And beneath it all, an insecurity Kuroo was all too familiar with shone through Terushima's words, an echo of what Kuroo had always known to be something which linked their experiences together.

Why did I think I could do this?

Kuroo looked to his side, watching Tsukishima's neutral expression contemplate the words, absorbing them without judgement.

Tsukishima would know best about this right? Regret. His words from earlier reverberated in Kuroo's head, wistful and weighed down.

"Back then, it made sense. Now I'm not sure, but it's done."

Terushima couldn't say that yet, he was giving up too soon. Kuroo knew one or two things about being a coward, but even he knew some things were better to see through.

Especially when it concerned something he believed in.

The wind blew, and Terushima's anger didn't cease.

"Well...because," Futakuchi began, small and not anything like the cutting banter he usually threw out. His thought faded into the air as he lost it, not knowing what to say. Kuroo doubted any of them did. Terushima had been their rock, and now...

The leader huffed, leaping out of the car finally, slamming the door with little care to how loud it echoed in the darkness. He walked right past Futakuchi, past his friends, walking alone across the street to sit on the beach. He didn't care.

No one moved, most kept their eyes on the ground, defeated. But Kuroo followed Terushima's every move. The frustration, the anger, he understood.

The sound of the waves hitting the rocks didn't have the relaxing quality they usually did as he saw Terushima sit on the edge of the road, where asphalt met sand, curling up like he wished the world would dissolve around him. Soon he'd discover as Kuroo had, the world wasn't that nice.

Kuroo wondered if he should go talk to him, if they should fix the tire first, if they should talk about anything or just let Terushima blow off steam at his own pace. He wasn't used to this anymore. He wasn't the natural leader he'd been in high school, he didn't know how to pat people on the back or offer them advice or make them feel like everything would be okay. His plan of attack wasn't even in the first draft stages, and he hated it.

But he should've known by then, where he faltered, Tsukishima pushed.

Wordlessly, the blond set aside his tools, dusting off his hands on his sweater, and began to walk across the road as well. Tsukishima threw one look Kuroo's way, eyebrow quirked, and no explanation was needed.

Are you coming?

Kuroo was powerless to follow. Guess he would find out about his emotional advice skills after all, but Tsukishima would be there to pick up his slack, filling in the blanks.

Kuroo nodded for him to go ahead, and the promise was sealed.

Not everyone else was so gung-ho about that.

Yamamoto perked up as he watched Tsukishima leave them, and hey, relatable. "H-hey! Where is he going?"

Without answering, Kuroo checked his surroundings one last time, and made sure the doors were locked before trailing after the blond.

"Wait! Not you too! Hey! I'm talking to you!" Yamamoto bellowed nervously, and Kuroo would admit, he and Tsukishima were the most capable people in the group. But damn, they could survive on an empty road with clear vantage points for at least ten minutes.

"You'll be fine," Kuroo said, rolling his eyes.

Eek. He hoped the universe hadn't been listening to that.

"That's what everyone says," Yamamoto whispered, like now that their defenses had deserted them, they needed to be extra careful. Please. "And then something terrible happens."

You're not wrong, but oh well.

Kuroo sighed roughly, his hand carding through his hair. He really was glad he'd decided to join these losers tonight, he didn't want to think of what would've happened otherwise. "Just, please, watch out for each other. Keep your weapons out, look around at all times. No sweat."

Or, he hoped as much.

Saying 'no sweat' on a night like tonight was like comforting someone by telling them the dead had risen, but the government wasn't going to nuke them all in response.

We won't be long, it's fine.

Yeah.

As he turned towards where Terushima and Tsukishima sat, Kuroo actually felt it was true, and with each step, the anxiety became a bit more tolerable.

He watched Tsukishima put ample distance between himself and Terushima, either for his own sake or the leader's, but Kuroo didn't doubt Terushima appreciated it. His head barely rose when Kuroo arrived.

The ocean stalled, listening, before the waves began to rock steadily again. To Kuroo's shock, Tsukishima didn't press, didn't break the ice with a scolding or a question.

So, Kuroo followed his lead, and leaned against the old lookout rails.

Terushima dipped his head lower, fixated on the vastness in front of him, eyes murky like its depths. Guess Terushima still let himself cry. Good. "Are you guys here to tell me I'm overreacting or something? Because if so, you don't have to, I know..."

Kuroo could've laughed; there was no such thing as overreacting tonight, Kuroo had more freakouts than he could count and his shift would've barely been half over. So really, Terushima was just reacting, and to some pretty fucked up shit too.

Tsukishima had to know that, his long sigh just a preparation to recite similar thoughts with more profoundness than Kuroo could manage. Tsukishima, with his reserved posture and calculating stares which only gave away bits and pieces at a time. The experience locked in there surely had insight to give, and Kuroo waited, trusted.

The raw honesty which left the blond's lips carried more like a punch to the gut, gentle advice turned atom bomb.

Tsukishima's eyes were dead as he waited for Terushima to raise his head, a disturbing patience, before everything was dropped into the air like the words meant nothing. "Once, I drove all night to a new city," Tsukishima said, shrugging. He squirmed, pulling his legs in as he watched the water. "I'd...never been there, I hadn't eaten, my car wasn't fancy or armor plated like yours, but I went anyways. Not my best idea, kind of on the same tier as taking a group of friends in a van and getting lost, but worse still. It was just me, all alone, because I was angry. So angry, like you."

'I'm just like you.'

Terushima sat there, frozen, listening. The comment about his own actions hadn't even stung, not that it was meant to. No, even Kuroo knew, this part of the story was Tsukishima telling him he'd done almost everything right. Terushima was no better or worse than any of them.

But that wasn't the whole story.

Kuroo's ears strained for any sound, and he should've been focused on Terushima, how each admittance made his posture open and his tension fade, but he couldn't find it in him. His world was Tsukishima, and another pit of suspicion lodged itself in his gut.

Tsukishima shook his head, breathing hard, and Kuroo had never seen him so unable to piece his words together. They were cracked, not fluent and cutting like usual. They were just sad. Kuroo wanted more than anything to make that stop, to go back in time so he could've helped. "My parents lived there, that city, in some stupid fancier house. Without us. And they...they needed to be taught a lesson. Kind of like your rich doctor I guess."

Tsukishima paused, waiting for Terushima's small, child-like nod.

"I took stuff from them, not everything but enough, a lot. Enough to lock myself in that big empty house you smashed a hole in," Tsukishima said, and Terushima bowed his head. Then, almost imperceptibly, Tsukishima's head tilted towards Kuroo, his voice smaller, like he actually cared about embarrassment. As if Kuroo would care. "Enough to pay off the debt for the college degree I didn't finish, enough to pay for whatever I wanted."

The mention of college had Kuroo's mind swimming again, something missing, always missing.

Tell me everything.

Tsukishima breathed.

"So no, I'm not going to tell you you're overreacting. I don't really think I've earned the privilege. I'm just here to ask why you're so upset," Tsukishima finished, simply, like his voice hadn't been crumbling like plates during an earthquake.

"But...you, you weren't overreacting," Terushima spoke, loud enough over the waves to make Kuroo flinch. "I don't think so..."

Tsukishima arched a brow, the question clear. 'If I wasn't overreacting, neither are you.'

Terushima's eyes widened, but Tsukishima still thought it necessary to hammer the point home, to expose the parts of himself he'd been so carefully pulling apart. "Do you wanna know why I robbed my parents?"

Yes.

Kuroo remembered how relieved he'd been when he'd found out Tsukishima wasn't a typical Purger. How much he'd always hated those who contributed to the danger and culture. Really, Tsukishima was part of the issue, no matter what Kuroo tried to justify in his head. But he couldn't fault the blond, not when he saw the look in his eyes, heard the edge in his voice. Tsukishima hadn't had a choice, no matter how he was trying to spin this, to paint himself as less than. At the end of the day, Kuroo wanted to know what he'd done and why more than anyone, but if he never did, he'd support Tsukishima regardless. He was that confident in his character, in the desperation which had pushed him so far.

Kuroo hated the Purge, but the basic foundation of ignorance he'd built had withered away over the past few hours, that hero complex altered. He couldn't stop Terushima from changing completely like he'd originally wanted, just like no amount of company could’ve helped Tsukishima all those years ago.

But they were here, and they would do what they could. Kuroo would give his all, bad advice or not.

"Yes..." Terushima whispered, like he was scared, but he needed to hear it.

Tsukishima had once said he and Terushima were the same. Kuroo hadn't fully understood then, but now...

"They tried to kill my brother." Tsukishima glared out at the sea, remembering. Kuroo and Terushima didn't breathe. "They were going to profit off him to make their lives better, like Takahashi wanted to do with your mom and countless others. I tried to stop them, but I guess I only half won."

"Since he's in a wheelchair now, he needs all the peace he can get."

Tsukishima had been an amateur too, once upon a time.

Kuroo bowed his head, but Terushima's reactions didn't stay hidden, he understood. And of course, Tsukishima must've known why Terushima was upset all along. Kuroo had as well. That self-doubt, the guilt over dragging his friends into this.

But at the end of the day, Terushima wasn't wrong.

"Your revenge isn't misplaced, you're not a bad person for wanting to kill this piece of shit," Tsukishima managed out, the snarl in his voice barely contained. "Your friends feel the same. You need to stop focusing on all your stupid mistakes and just do what you have to."

The goal is worth it.

Maybe not right, but worth it. The Purge should've never been a thing to begin with, but if the Purge wasn't going to get justice for these things...

"He's right," Kuroo finally said, and Tsukishima's head whipped around to look at him, like he'd expected Kuroo to dismiss him altogether. Yeah right. Kuroo smiled at him, small and weak, but certain. "For the longest time, I thought the Purge and anyone who used it was no better than the worst criminals. And honestly, I still kind of believe that...nothing is ever going to be able to completely get rid of that feeling."

Tsukishima nodded, felt the same.

"But sometimes the lesser of two evils isn't all just bullshit excuses," Kuroo sighed, because in this day and age choices were so damn limited. "If people like you...both of you, didn't go after these assholes, no one would even get close to them."

Tsukishima stayed staring, his bitten nails digging into the sleeves of his sweater. It pained him to look away, more than Kuroo could make sense of. He looked to Terushima, channeling his eighteen year old self for what he hoped wasn't the last time. "I know that deep down now, so do your friends. They believe in you, and what you're doing, no matter how much you think you're messing up."

And Tsukishima, bless his soul, knew he had to put this lesson ahead of his own emotions. He turned back to Terushima, rising to his feet alongside Kuroo. "He has a point. That lot wouldn't accept the danger for nothing, I know I call them fools but you have to have more faith in them than that, they know more than you think, more than you apparently. They saw the leadership quality in you and put their money on it. So maybe they cope with trauma with bad jokes..."

"Don't we all?" Kuroo added, sighing wistfully.

"...but that doesn't mean they're not serious. Far from it, if they weren't I doubt you could've even gotten them outside the door."

Yeah seriously. They're more nuts than we are.

And they had bad taste in food, but irrelevant.

Terushima wiped at his eyes, mouth torn between a grimace and a laugh. Sometimes it was hard to accept things weren't all one's own doing. Kuroo knew it was hard to explain every feeling, every conflict going on inside the heart, but Terushima was strong. He could do this, sort of had to. Kuroo had pledged to help him realize that. "I just...I didn't want them to get hurt. It should've just been me out here."

Kuroo and Tsukishima shared a look, and the blond felt no need to sugar-coat things anymore. "It's too late for that. They accepted those risks, so did you. They're not going to blame you for whatever happens."

Not even in death.

Not to mention, Kuroo had no doubt Tsukishima would've appreciated the help back in the day. He hadn't been so lucky to have the support system Terushima had. They loved Terushima so much, didn't resent him. He had to respect that.

"But--!" Terushima stopped, his teeth gritting together to keep the arguments back. He knew they were useless.

Usually, Kuroo would worry for the wellbeing of anyone willing to argue with Tsukishima, especially after a confession of that caliber, but Kuroo wanted to hear the things he too had never allowed himself to admit. Terushima had to let it all out, or they'd never get off this damn beach.

"But?" Kuroo prodded.

Terushima sighed, his feet digging into the sand, and he vomited the insecurities, the things Kuroo and Tsukishima had encountered more than enough times. "What if I'm too scared to do it? What if...what if I can't kill him? I'm not like you Tsukishima, what if I can't make those hard decisions? If I can't, then what was the point of doing this to everyone?"

'What was the point of hurting everyone?'

Yeah. Worthless risks.

Reasons why Kuroo didn't finish school, didn't try to find a better job, why he just tried to visualize and work towards a better future while he lived in the shitty present.

It couldn't continue, and he didn't want Terushima to feel the same. Some things had to be seen to the end, no matter how painful or uncertain.

Tsukishima only huffed, as if the logic needed to disprove Terushima's fears sat as clear and present as the world around them. "But I didn't make those hard decisions."

Kuroo and Terushima's collective expressions screamed 'what,' but Tsukishima continued like it was the most normal thing in the world. Again, Kuroo knew he was a goner. "I was going to kill them, you know, that was the original plan. I wanted to so bad, I walked up the stairs and into their bedroom and I was so close, they were right there, and...I couldn't do it. I didn't do it. And...I've had to just..."

The glazed look told Kuroo a lot, like the fact Tsukishima still dealt with the horror of that fucked up fork in the road years later, that maybe Tsukishima still hadn't completely let himself accept it. But Kuroo would help him, after all this was done, he promised he would.

"Deal with it," Kuroo finished softly, since that was all everyone ever did for the past seven years.

"Yeah," Tsukishima whispered. "That."

Kuroo's fingers wrapped around Tsukishima's wrist with no hesitation, and felt the goosebumps against his fingertips.

Terushima stared down at his own hands. Kuroo couldn't help but smile. None of them had really expected it to go this way. After a few moments, Terushima spoke, barely above a whisper, the last thing he needed to know. "Do you regret that?"

Kuroo and Tsukishima shared another look, and Kuroo could see it more clearly, the dampness in those gorgeous eyes, the reluctant honesty, everything. Kuroo never wanted to look away.

The blond shook his head, slow, like he needed to be sure. "No, no I don't think so. Not sure I would've regretted doing it either honestly, but I'll never know. I did what I thought was best then, and that's what you should do too."

They both watched as the understanding fully seeped into Terushima's shoulders, chipping away at the last block of second guessing. It made the next words easy to find for Kuroo, they flowed nice and sure, like they used to. And finally, Kuroo didn't doubt his advice.

"Look, no one is saying you have to make one decision or the other," he said, placing his hand against Terushima's shoulder. He felt Tsukishima watch him, like he needed the words too, like he constantly needed the reminder he wasn't a terrible person. Any other night, Kuroo would've gladly stayed put and told him for hours.

But for now, they both had someone else to pull up onto their feet.

Kuroo sighed, and he felt strong again, like he could do anything. He wanted Terushima to feel the same. "When the time comes, you'll make one, and we'll be right there beside you. The thing is, if you're gonna decide..."

If you want the chance to decide...

Kuroo shrugged, grinning softly up at Tsukishima. After all, if the blond needed the words, he needed to say them too. That way, they'd stay drilled in.

The blond nodded, the lines of tension fading away as he unclenched his hands. "You have to actually get to the destination first. Preferably without more car accidents."

And yes, the joke was wholly necessary. But in all truth, they needed to see things to the end, no matter how they'd feel about the consequences later. Such was life. Such was this life, no matter how shitty it was.

"That's life," Tsukishima whispered, as if he could read Kuroo's mind, and Kuroo tried not to blind the world with his grin.

Yeah, Kuroo thought, much better than how I would've said it. Or maybe he knew Tsukishima was simply the best person to deliver the message. Judging from the way Terushima sighed, he knew he'd been right.

They watched as Terushima nodded, wiping the unshed tears from his eyes. The sniffles were drowned out by the waves as he rose to his feet, eyes slowly filling back up with that familiar light. Good. Kuroo would hate if he lost that.

He looked to them both, a new stubbornness back in his face, one that would surely stay.

"Thank you," Terushima said softly, placing a hand on Tsukishima's other wrist. It was enough, more than enough, and Kuroo delighted in the blond's shock, the realization he'd helped.

Tsukishima deserved to feel appreciated like that, more than anyone else.

As Terushima walked away, Kuroo thought it was only right that he told him as much. "He looks up to you, you know. We all do."

Tsukishima turned to him, startled, but Kuroo wouldn't stop himself even under the blond's intensity. "Whatever you did doesn't change that. You made your decisions."

You made the best decisions you could.

Tsukishima stared a second longer, maybe waiting for Kuroo to look away, but Kuroo liked giving in even worse than the blond did. Didn't matter how much he'd been beaten down. He needed to make sure Tsukishima heard him, loud and clear.

Then, the blond's head dropped, the clear loser, and he laughed softly. "Where do you get off, saying things like that so easily?"

Ah, music to Kuroo's ears. He smiled, shameless. "Sorry, but you kinda bring that out in me."

You do a lot for me.

And okay, he sorta meant it in a 'you're really hot way,' but only a little bit. Kuroo had eyes, alright?

He wondered if Tsukishima really could read his mind, because his smile fell, his cheeks lighting up beautifully in an innocent red, so different from the usual seriousness. Kuroo loved it.

Tsukishima bit his lip, his breathing stuttering, like he wanted so badly to second guess his next words. They rushed out before he could. "Just me?"

Oh. Oh.

Tsukishima's eyes closed, and he turned back to the ocean, letting the mist spray. He looked like he wanted the ground to eat him. Adorable.

But he didn't pull away, he let Kuroo's hand stay resting against his way too skinny wrist, the smooth skin warm under the touch.

What kind of answer was he expecting, Kuroo wondered. What an overthinker.

Kuroo sighed, like a fawning high-schooler, and tightened his grip. "Well, yeah. Of course."

When Tsukishima looked back, Kuroo thought for a moment he saw a similar expression. He tried not to die on the spot.

Then, he almost did.

"You make me angry you know," Tsukishima sighed, ignoring the way Kuroo's jaw nearly dropped onto the floor. Well then.

"Me?!" After all that?

"Yes," Tsukishima said, as if it was nothing. "You look at me like I'm so great, but we're the same too, are we not? No degrees, no concrete future, all this baggage..."

Kuroo ignored the stalling of his heart. "Amazing senses of humor..."

"Kuroo."

"A love for dogs?"

"Some stubbornness," Tsukishima shot back.

"Some?" Kuroo asked, jostling Tsukishima's shoulder. "Try mountains of it."

They laughed, and Kuroo wondered if that would be the end of it. If Tsukishima was going to try and comfort him, he wouldn't survive.

The same? As Tsukishima? Not in a million years, but if Tsukishima thought so, Kuroo had to try his best to live up to that view. He wasn't worthy of it, and yet...

It made his heart expand, seeing Tsukishima smile at him like that. "I'm just saying, I think they look up to you plenty," he said glancing towards the car. "Not just me."

Then, before Kuroo could unleash a string of denial, Tsukishima walked away, his back turned. Kuroo missed his touch. "And for good reason too."

And Tsukishima had judged him. Just where did the blond get off, saying just what Kuroo needed to hear, and shyly on top of it. Like Kuroo would hate him for it.

For good reason huh?

For the first time, Kuroo thought about believing it.

Kuroo followed after him back to the car, where Terushima was standing waiting for them. Seemed he'd started the tire change job. Kuroo helped Tsukishima finish it in silence, the rest of the group eyeing Terushima with poorly concealed concern. But Kuroo knew there was no reason to worry now.

As Tsukishima piled the toolkit back into the car some minutes later, with everyone loading back into their respective spots, the leader finally allowed himself to speak.

Before he climbed in, Terushima opened the back door, revealing a rather amusing, shell shocked Futakuchi.

The brunet stuttered, his seatbelt not even properly fastened yet, and they stared at each other, what Kuroo guessed to be years of tension and friendship accumulating into a singular moment. And then, relief.

"I'm sorry," Terushima ended up saying, after too long of a silence, small and fragile in the night air. Futakuchi's entire being softened, so instantly, like he'd never been mad at all. Kuroo knew Terushima had chosen the right team, and the best second in command.

Terushima dipped his head in Suga and Yamamoto's direction, because he knew it was necessary. Wanted to. "I'm sorry to all of you."

Kuroo got into his own seat, right behind Tsukishima, looking one last time at the group's silent meeting.

From the looks on their faces, Kuroo could tell there was nothing to forgive.

--

With all other problems somewhat put to rest, it was no wonder the conversation came back around to Tsukishima.

"I still don't get how you know where you're going," Suga whispered, watching as old beat up buildings passed them by. They'd abandoned the coast some time ago, the smell of ocean salt replaced with familiar city smog. "I don't think I've ever been to this neighborhood and I've lived here my entire life."

"My brother liked to explore, and I got tired of always getting lost after..." Tsukishima stopped, and Terushima looked up from where he'd been flipping through his phone. "After things started."

The tension Kuroo and Terushima could now pick up on stayed below the radar, but Kuroo wondered for how long.

And besides that, the knot of something suspicious hadn't left him. He had questions, he knew it, but didn't know what they were.

"A marksman, a navigational expert, and a mechanic," Futakuchi said, fake awe drenching his words. "What are you, a Barbie?"

Tsukishima's shoulders tensed up, but no one wanted Tsukishima's eyes off the road, so conflict resolution was in order. Thank god Terushima was a good leader when his head was clear.

"Hey man, leave it alone," Terushima said, but his voice had lost the edge, had regained his amusement, but with newfound respect. Tsukishima's shoulders seemed to relax, and Futakuchi shrugged.

All should've been left alone, but Kuroo never was good at ignoring gut instincts.

"It is cool though," Kuroo said, swallowing. "That you know how to do that stuff."

"Useful things from my loving father I guess," Tsukishima said with a stiff shrug. "My brother used to say he could change tires faster than me but that's a lie, and it always will be."

"I'm sure your brother would most assuredly disagree," Suga said with a laugh, and Tsukishima's eyes twinkled in the rearview mirror at the thought of a challenge.

"He hasn't had practice in a long time," Tsukishima said, confident in the way Kuroo normally loved. "Though...I might be a little rusty, before tonight I haven't changed one since..."

And as heavy as that beat of silence was, Kuroo latched onto it.

"Since?" He encouraged, too eagerly. He felt Yamamoto's eyes on him.

Tsukishima shrugged, but it was different this time. His voice tried to remain flippant, casual. It failed. "Year one maybe, not sure."

When are you ever not sure?

Right.

"If you two could stop drooling over each other that would be good," Futakuchi said, unaware of the vortex of strain present between them. Kuroo's admiration wasn't uncommon after all, it was the best assumption. But...

"Seriously, just date already," Suga agreed.

Again, no denial from Tsukishima. None whatsoever. It just added to Kuroo's theory, bolstered it.

"You're one to talk," Tsukishima muttered, going along with it, now steadfastly ignoring glancing into the mirror.

"Hey!"

Kuroo did not listen to the rest of the pointless arguing.

Tsukishima had never, not even once, pushed those accusations away. Of feeling something for Kuroo. Kuroo didn't care, he was pretty sure part of him would adore Tsukishima no matter what, would probably come to love him beyond this one night if given the chance.

But they'd just met. In any normal situation, it wouldn't make sense for Tsukishima, someone so logical and reserved, to feel that way.

Unless of course, Tsukishima knew more than he let on, had far more in his heart than he allowed to slip.

"Hey, Tsukishima," Kuroo asked, interrupting something Futakuchi seemed to be babbling about. His voice must've been scary, because all conversation immediately stopped. "Where were you the first year? When the Purge started. Do you remember?"

Now, that was something they all wanted to know, and they leaned in. Except Terushima, who by now must've detected the brewing storm. He watched Kuroo like a hawk.

Tsukishima's eyes stayed on the road. "I was leaving school, I was running late."

Kuroo's hands tightened against the leather of the chair in front of him. He hadn't even noticed he'd leaned forward. "How come?"

And then, the blond's defenses kicked in, and Kuroo knew.

You're--

Tsukishima snapped, the speed of the car picking up, like the acceleration would drown out the speech. "What does it matter?"

"I want to know," Kuroo replied, speaking above the sounds of the car. Suga squawked from the new, sudden speed somewhere behind him.

"Too bad then," Tsukishima replied, taking another nonsensical turn onto a desolate street. "I don't like to remember stuff like that."

I know, but that's not what I meant, you know it.

"You're lying," Kuroo replied, and he wondered if in any other situation, they might've looked like a fighting married couple. "How much did you know me back then? How much really?"

Terushima spoke up, trying to get Kuroo's attention with a few taps to the glove box. "Hey! Hey Kuroo, dude, calm down, what--"

"I didn't," Tsukishima hissed, entirely too unconvincing for someone who had experienced his genuine honesty. He had to know Kuroo had figured it out. Why was he still on about this? "I just...knew you, everyone knew you. You were popular and I--"

You what? Why wouldn't you just talk to me?

Then, he couldn't take it anymore. Such an important event, it had altered Kuroo's opinions, his life, and now he knew who was responsible. "You were the one who changed my tire, weren't you?"

You saved me.

Tsukishima saved more than his life too, his will to go on, to believe in people.

"Why--why would you do that for me?" Kuroo asked, breathless. He wanted to shake Tsukishima and kiss him all at once. This beautiful, stubborn bastard.

The car turned again, the tires screeching, and Kuroo didn't care where they were or where they were going. He just wanted to hear Tsukishima admit it.

Suga yelled something about slowing down, Terushima's scoldings got lost in the mix, and then the car jolted.

"Enough!" Tsukishima yelled, slamming on the brakes as he pulled perfectly into one parking spot in an otherwise empty lot, the fog of the early morning filling the space. The car's ignition was cut, and quiet filled the space apart from Tsukishima occasional huffs. Kuroo squinted, looking out towards the only other source of light.

Where were they--oh are you serious?

"Oh hey," Yamamoto said happily, like the past few minutes had meant absolutely nothing to him. "McDonald's."

No one else seemed to share the immediate enthusiasm, at least, not for the same reasons.

Tsukishima sat frozen, staring ahead, the inevitable coursing through his mind.

Kuroo sighed to himself, leaning back. Okay, he could've handled this better, but knowing he'd been right...

He didn't know where to start.

But Terushima seemed willing to push.

"Welp," the leader said, awkwardly patting his thigh. "Thanks Tsukishima, we sure were hungry. Right guys?"

"Uh duh."

"Absolutely."

"Mmhm."

The strained chorus made Kuroo's ears hurt.

"Yeah see?" Terushima fastened his gun to his hip, glancing out the window. No threats in sight. "So you know what, we're just gonna...go on ahead of you guys and see if we can get in. You just...stay here and talk about...stuff. 'kay?"

No response.

"Alright then, bye." Terushima flung his door open, scurrying out with the rest of his group towards the fried safe haven.

God.

Each door slammed collectively, quickly, until the silence settled in again. Kuroo watched the group as they got smaller, footsteps heading towards the golden arches with purpose. They couldn't leave them out there too long by themselves, even Kuroo with his current mindset knew that.

So, he needed to find his courage for the thousandth time that night it seemed. For Tsukishima, Kuroo had no problems with it. The blond had been brave enough for all of them all night.

Plus, Kuroo had sort of ambushed him...

Whoops.

Yet, looking at those tense shoulders in the seat in front of him, Kuroo only felt fondness in his heart. He owed Tsukishima more than he realized, and he wanted nothing more than to repay that kindness as soon as possible.

And maybe for the rest of time.

With that in mind, Kuroo opened his door.

[wannawrite]

sweet crazy love [ pt.1 ]

who?: Wanna One’s Ong Seongwoo genre: 🌸🌺 type: bullet point - bc fic would be too long so I broke this into smaller parts  TW: blood, biting, fights, mention of PTSD, depression and psychiatry, supernatural experimentation - poison 

blog navigator. part one / two 

part two

vamp! AU

experiments don’t always work out.... and when they don’t, they go to the psychiatrist 

that sounds dark already ^ it gets better, I promise! please do not read if this is triggering!!! thank you for requesting this anon, aha you asked twice/two anons, so cute sorry I’m never on here anymore :( this week was rough and next week, I have tests all week until CNY.

- Admin L 

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners. 

everything written here is purely fictional. 

you never found out why there was always this boy who would glare at you with the most menacing eyes from across the hall 

 behind his locker in the hallway 

in the cafeteria  

across the hall when your paths crossed

from his seat in a classroom, you were merely walking by 

his eyes held such fire and flames it seemed like they were going to roast you alive 

sadly, you never got a name or a reason 

all you knew was how his face looked like and he was downright gorgeous 

even when he looked like he had -4 hours of sleep every day without fail, with those purple and bruised eye bags forming under his inky black orbs 

he always seemed to be thirsty, running his tongue over plump lips, a finger toying with his bottom lip, yearning for a drink 

but you never knew what 

honestly, it did bug you from time to time since he kept glaring but never confronted you on anything 

besides, whenever you moved to talk to him, he would only vanish into thin air, as if he was never there in the first place 

however, he would be seen drinking chocolate milk with his best friends a while later 

you just figured you probably punched his nose in kindergarten, never apologised, he never forgave you and that’s why he held such a huge grudge against you 

he also tried to avoid you at all costs, at least it was good that there were no joint classes 

how childish, you often thought. It’s high school, he should grow up a little 

if he is mad at me, shouldn’t he at least try to talk it out instead of just glaring at me all the time? I can’t exactly read his damn mind 

well,,, he could 

the years wore on like that, as in, you ignoring his icy stares and trying not to be bothered by them. Seongwoo continued to slink in the shadows, keeping a low profile 

in fact, he became a prominent factor in your life. Your friends even nicknamed him. 

you wondered how this mysterious brooding bad boy constantly hung out with Hwang Minhyun, the school’s beloved prince 

in fact, that guy was the only best friend Minhyun seemed to have from high school 

you rarely saw that guy at school functions, maybe once or twice at the homecoming game but never at dances or anniversaries. You figured he wasn’t one for those 

Senior year changed a couple of things...

you had a study period in the study hall with him. Curiosity piqued in you

but contrary to your expectations, the mystery boy seemed to dwell in darker ends of the study hall, plugging into his own music and diligently taking his own notes in black ink 

he paid no attention to the world around him, absorbed in his textbooks 

you started to realise as the days passed, he seemed more beat up than the previous day 

physically 

the bruises framing his eyes darker and he seemed exhausted of all energy. 

He wore long-sleeved sweaters, you wondered what he was hiding 

your classmate seemed more quiet, sticking only to himself, he seemed more wary of others 

however, that only lasted for a week before he returned to his usual self, chatting with his friends and sipping more strange looking juice boxes that didn’t resemble his typical chocolate milk

but who were you to judge? And since when did you ever pay so much attention to detail? 

were you intrigued by him? 

you shuddered and spun away, forcing yourself to tune in to other, more relevant things 

finally, graduation rolled around the corner

Ong Seongwoo 

you caught his name from the roll call don’t judge

he was just too SECRETIVE otherwise 

even with his name, there wasn’t much you deduced from the school gossip realm 

he just drank peculiar coloured juices to ‘keep his skin youthful and preserve his clear skin’ 

Seongwoo N E V E R left the safety of a building into the sun without slathering on an unholy amount of specialised sunscreen 

if he had PE that day, he would bring two different types of nutritional juice and only shares his f&b with Minhyun 

no one dared to get close to him 

or rather, he was just too problematic to get close to 

it appeared he only appreciated his friends he had known since diaper days and that everyone else had to go through a selection to enter his circle 

okay so graduation 

it’s one of the most exciting days in your life and you couldn’t be gladder to graduate with a 4.0GPA 

also, you’re determined to fix things with Seongwoo on the very last day of school, might as well right? 

right after the valedictorian’s - minhyun - speech, you scan the hall to find Seongwoo as the closing speech is given by your principal 

he’s there in his seat 

the speech ends, you’re out of your chair, moving through the crowd of students throwing caps to where he was seated 

but he isn’t there,,, not anymore at least 

the girl beside him said he just took off, along with Minhyun 

before you can register what happened, your feet take your along a corridor, maybe down a couple of flights of stairs 

right to the old lacrosse locker room which was under construction works 

why the hell would you walk here? you don’t even know where it is by memory 

perhaps because you could hear two roaring voices, one calm and collected while the other panicked and raging 

‘calm down, you need to get your shit together Seongwoo. Breathe!’ Minhyun instructs, a growl in his tone 

pressing an ear against the door, all you hear are strangled cries from Seongwoo 

you wonder if you should call the police 

‘CONTROL YOURSELF SEONGWOO!’ 

yup, that doesn’t sound shady at all

‘the side effects have been getting worse....’ you hear Minhyun mutter to himself, a rustle of plastic or paper following suit 

the shower runs, someone seems to be spamming the knobs. All grows quiet.

you don’t even realise you’re holding your breath until you release it

 now 

you burst into the room, ignoring the red warning tape, ripping it away to fall at your feet. Your phone was already ringing, the police on the other side 

The room was empty, despite all the yelling you heard, making your heart complete somersaults as realisation sets in 

were you imagining things? 

hammers knock nails into your head as you try to comprehend whatever had happened 

there’s nowhere to hide, yet no other door to escape out of, you can’t believe two of your batch mates have just vanished into thin air 

choking out a chuckle of disbelief, shaking fingers turn the call off, one hand covers your mouth as you slowly back away from the two graduation gowns and caps were strewn on the floor, blood staining both of them 

well...no one knows exactly what happened that day because when the cleaner discovered it, it was too late to identify anyone by then 

only you knew the real answers 

but honestly, time wore on and you became much busier in college, whatever happened to your batch mates wasn’t your concern anymore 

you just couldn’t afford any time to care or ponder about it 

yes, you wondered and dreamed about the possibilities but most of your time was spent studying hard, medicine majors can’t afford sleep 

all you wanted to work as since you were little was a psychiatrist especially since your father was a scientist, specialising in biological sciences 

you wanted to follow in his footsteps and join the scientist life 

your father often joked that you and him would be the greatest scientists in the world someday, him as a biologist and you as a psychiatrist 

and that was your real motivation, you genuinely wanted to achieve that seemingly far-fetched dream 

your parents were supportive, your professor sort of favoured you, your college was Ivy League...what else could you want? 

life was perfect 

until one day...a Friday morning, which meant morning coffee and cake run with your roommates

that day, it also meant encountering people you never once thought you would see again 

Hwang Minhyun and Ong Seongwoo 

they clearly didn’t resemble the pesky 18-year-olds you remembered but they looked like elegant, poised and well-refined college upperclassmen

certainly, they dressed the part 

Minhyun was wearing a sleek black turtleneck sweater paired with camel coloured slacks, draped over his chair was a classy caramel and tartan blend of a Burberry trench 

his coffee was Americano, his shoes embossed with the Louboutin stamp and a pair of thin circular framed spectacles rested on the bridge of his nose 

wow

is that really Hwang Minhyun? 

you kinda saw his style coming anyway lol 

but then, is that Ong Seongwoo sitting across from him? 

Seongwoo had changed 

okay he still kept his bad boy, had -2 hours of sleep for 3 decades look but there was a different aura around him now 

he looked...dare you say it, attractively stylish 

his dark hair was swept into boyish bangs, just passing his eyebrows, it looked thick and silky. 

Seongwoo wore an oversized grey flannel which he tucked into dark wash skinny jeans with rips at the knees.

To finish the look, he wore a pair of polished white sneakers 

yes, I’m talking about the look from ‘Beautiful’ photos mhm

in his grip, was a familiar packet; he still drank the same juice since high school 

some things just don’t change  

cute 

WAIT NO NOT CUTE REMEMBER HE’S THE BOY WHO HATED YOUR GUTS AND YOU STILL DON’T KNOW WHY

AND HE ALSO MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED THROUGH THE RENOVATING LOCKER ROOM ON GRADUATION DAY 

SHADY 

QUICK LOOK AWAY BEFORE HE SEES YOU

hastily, you place your order and join your friends at the table, trying to blend yourself in with the bubbling chatter, a distraction from the two people seated by the window 

...awkward...

mhm but you had really exciting news to break to your friends 

‘you’re awfully quiet today,’ your best friend pointed out. ‘Are you hiding something?’ 

yes 

‘nah...I just have news to break to you guys,’ you said, trying to seem nonchalant 

but it is true that you have amazing news to break!!! 

‘tell us!’ your friends chorus excitedly, eager to find out 

on the opposite side of the cafe, both Minhyun and Seongwoo have taken notice of your presence 

Minhyun chuckles. ‘Remember when we were 118, our graduation? You freaking out and succumbing to the side effects? Good times.’ 

‘good times my ass, I lost my graduation gown and cap!’ Seongwoo whines. ‘My mum was making a collection of all our graduation gowns. I think she’s still holding a grudge at me.’ 

Minhyun cleared his throat and lowered his voice. ‘Your family still doesn’t know about...it...right?’ 

Seongwoo shakes his head and his friend sighs. 

‘you know how much I hate it! Why can’t you just go to the authorities about this! It’s putting your life in danger and I hate seeing you hurt all the time!’ Minhyun sighs. He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a long sip of his coffee

Seongwoo wrinkled his nose. ‘You know what will happen if I don’t show up for even one session. It’s happened before.’ 

Seongwoo finds himself tuning into your conversation instead of engaging with his friend 

okay let’s be honest, he’s never really liked you 

‘you need real help, Seongwoo. You really think drinking all these plasma juice boxes are going to make a difference? Are all these helping you one bit?’ 

‘I can’t take blood bags because of the injections you know it,’ Seongwoo retorted. He was only half-heartedly paying attention to his friend and he was straining his supernatural hearing to listen to your conversation 

‘Exactly! Stop the process, take real blood so your body can survive and I’ll get help from a psychiatrist. Seongwoo, this can make everything better.’ 

‘I’m going to be an interning at Dr. Im’s clinic!’ you announced happily, gaining gasps and congratulations from your friends. 

huh...good for them. Looks like they’re following their father’s footsteps into science and medicine. Notable. 

he gave you a side glance, noticing how much more good-looking you had become 

hmm 

Seongwoo felt colour slowing draining from his face. He quickly stabbed a straw into yet another plasma juice box 

was he angry? was he disappointed? was he glad? he didn’t know either

perhaps just slightly stupefied, stunned......

he never imagined Doctor’s so-called ‘work’ would continue, would ever become anything 

a pair of fangs began to protrude, his temper began to flare 

what? how many more of us are they going to take? no, I must stop them

‘Seongwoo helloooooo’ 

I have to protect my family at all costs 

‘SEONGWOO!’

the impact of Minhyun’s fist on the table made Seongwoo snap out of his angry thoughts. It also caused time to freeze as curious customers peered round to have a glance 

the table now had a small crack forming in its wood 

blushing, Minhyun briefly apologised, downed the remainder of his coffee in a shot before grabbing Seongwoo’s arm and dragging him out 

what a scene, you thought

 deep down you wondered when you would see them next 

probably on campus somewhere,,, but with your new internship and all, you would be increasingly busy 

there just wasn’t time to think about those kinds of irrelevant subjects

there was no time to waste on thoughts of Ong Seongwoo 

crazy 

I’m going crazy right now 

week two of the internship was definitely not treating you the best 

sorry, this part may not be so accurate 

 all you did for week one was sit at the reception, drop by the lab a couple of times, restock medication and occasionally, bring coffee in for Dr Im

honestly, you wanted to see patients or watch a session but those were all private and personal 

it was just you and the medicines for a bit :\ 

suddenly, Dr Im marches into the supply closet, court shoes, sparkling white coat and all. She smiles, handing you a clipboard and a form

‘There’s a new client today coming for consultation. I spoke to him and surprisingly, he agreed to let my dear trainee sit in. As long as you sign this protection of personal data form, you’re welcome to join this time,’ she explains 

OH MY GOSH 

what you’ve always wanted :”) 

WHY ISN’T IT 8PM YET 

why did he have to book the latest time slot what the hell there wasn’t anyone in the 5.30pm one how dare you make me wait 12 hours 

but you get yourself a coffee and tell yourself to suck it up 

at precisely 8pm, two well-dressed and tall men walk into the posh and pristine office 

you don’t realise who it is until you emerge from the medicine storage room just in time to see one of the guys remove his black mask

Ong Seongwoo 

>:(

luckily, he doesn’t seem to notice you yet. He and - supposedly - Minhyun turn in the direction of the waiting area 

they look out of place in their dark coats and masks. It’s a stark contrast from the white and grey interior, maybe a vase of pinky-white lilies sitting on a counter 

or a few paintings of scenery in sand coloured frames 

someone like Ong Seongwoo doesn’t belong here 

you wonder what problems he could even face.....

the second Seongwoo stepped into the room and sensed your presence, he wanted to turn around and storm right out 

getting help was Minhyun’s idea and when he said he knew of a psychiatrist that was fine with the supernatural, he placed his life in Minhyun’s hands 

clearly, it was the wrong choice

but he had to keep cool and wait for his best friend’s real intentions to be made clear 

his best friend was sacrificing him to Doctor, he had no doubt about that right now 

you were Doctor’s child and also training in the field of science and medicine

...Minhyun had a lot of explaining to do later on 

the shock was written all over Seongwoo’s face when you sat next to Dr Im during the consult, taking notes and all 

so, the intern was you 

throughout the session, you genuinely wondered why Seongwoo would be here 

there was a section that you were asked to step out for a second and your best guess that it was an extremely sensitive matter 

somehow,,, you wanted to help Seongwoo 

isn’t that why you were a doctor anyway? 

even if he despised you, you wanted to help him so badly 

he left unscathed, that was astonishing to him too

when interrogated, Minhyun seemed to have 0 knowledge of your existence and that you were related to Doctor 

‘I-I’m so s-sorry. I really had no clue,’ he choked out, holding back a sob 

Seongwoo brushed it off, believing and forgiving his best friend 

‘how are things with Jaehwan? More roommate trouble?’ 

‘ugh, don’t remind me. He keeps teasing me about my crush on our neighbour.’ 

laughter resounded on the drive back to their dorms 

all was back to normal 

but both your lives wouldn’t be 

Doctor: 1.45am. Usual place. Don’t be late 

‘Dr Im, if you don’t mind me asking, what was your diagnosis?’ you questioned carefully, afraid of setting off an explosion of fuming fireworks

Dr Im sighed, she pressed her hand to her forehead. ‘He’s a difficult one if I’m honest. However, my brain is telling me it’s PTSD or depression, worse case scenario and it could be both.’ 

I’m not an expert on both even though I did research so I’m sorry if there are any inaccuracies, I tried to exclude it for the majority of the work

you kept silent, the information unable to fully sink into your mind.

Ong Seongwoo? PTSD? Depression? 

was it related to whatever happened at graduation? Was he struggling then? Is he losing hope now? 

 he was never my friend, your mind indicates, why am I so worried? Why am I freaking out over this? He’s hated me all this while, yet I’m so concerned

I’m becoming a lunatic 

‘Dr Im,’ you call out meekly 

‘hmm?’ She hums in response, still scribbling words down on her writing pad 

you swallow hard, throat closing at the thought of saying your next words

‘you’ll do your best to help him right? Seongwoo would be okay? Would he?’ 

her pen pauses for a prolonged period as if that question required an extensive amount of consideration to answer 

Dr Im nibbles on her bottom lip, nervously, you note 

‘yes. Seongwoo will be just fine.’ 

Doctor: No blood, just plasma. 

......to be continued

[darthsuki]

Hey dad, I've got a problem. I've known this friend of mine for years and we dated for a while but it didn't work out. I dated one other guy in the time where he and I didn't talk (I'm the anon that also talked about the admin whom we could call Daddy, if you remember) and now we're friends again. Our conversations usually end up with a lot of sexual tension and while I've decided that I don't love him anymore I still take advantage of the tension, if I can call it that. (1/?)

I still live with my parents and they’re on vacation this week so I told him I’d be cool with voice/video calls. Again this ended with sexual tension and we ended up doing some mutual masturbation (we were both reading doujinshi) and it was okay. We both weren’t noisy (but I did let out a lot of sighs especially during the end) so it almost felt like I was just masturbating alone. Now he knows I don’t love him and the chance of us getting together is p much zero but he still likes me. (2/?)

He doesn’t care what I want to do, he trusts me enough to do basically whatever. I know he’d never use anything against me if that makes sense. Now the worrying part. While we were chatting I had fun but I keep wondering if maybe I do like him, but I always come to the conclusion that I don’t. The other guy I dated (I’ll call him W) I know for sure that I loved him. I felt comfortable doing whatever with him and that we were a good couple (even tho I ended up being wrong in the end) (3/?)

With this friend (I’ll call him P) I know I can tell him anything but I don’t want to date him. He told me after last night that we don’t have to speak of it again if I didn’t want to, or could try again. Thing is, we were looking for a time where we could meet up again (since we’re long distance) but after overthinking a lot again last night I don’t wanna see him for a while. When I thought about dating him I just couldn’t see it. P’s romantic, but I don’t want to be part of it. (4/?)

With W, I could imagine us doing everything, to just normal couple stuff and anything on a sexual level (we had almost exactly the same kinks) but I just don’t even like imagining myself with P. With W I felt beautiful and happy and such, with P I guess it just feels more platonic than anything? I feel really bad “using” him to feel less lonely. W has a new gf and I’m happy for him because I still lowkey love him, but I feel that it’s unfair because I’m a great gal as well.(5/?)

My relationship with W was ldr so I never saw him outside of my phone’s screen. That’s why I tell people I haven’t ever been in a relationship. I see people around me dating and being happy and I love tumblr imagines but I get scared when thinking of dating. Like I’m not worth being loved, but I have a lot of love to give. I’m a little clingy, love romance (and my kinks) (6/?)

I’m a senior in high school this year and I’ve accepted I won’t get a good relationship until I go to college. I’m trying to lose weight to feel better about myself but I also know relationships aren’t everything. What I’m trying to ask is, what should I tell P? I don’t wanna hurt his feelings but I feel uncomfortable doing “couple things” with him. And should I be worried about a relationship? Tysm (7/7)

Long answer short: you should absolutely tell P that you do not feel the same way that he seems to feel for you. I have a very personal story about a similar relationship that I myself had in high school, which I look back on with some regret because I was too passive and didn’t communicate or work for what made me happy.

Longer answer under the cut bc it’s a bit long

I started dating someone in high school that I had a mutual friend with–for the most part, he was part of my friend group that sat together at lunch, hung out during in-school free time, ect. I was at a time in my life where I wanted to be in a relationship and utterly romanticized the idea without being very knowledgeable or experienced in myself or what I wanted (I was questioning my sexuality, gender, and a billion other things at the time). Though my ex at the time (lets call him R) was more or less a sweet guy, he was obviously very inexperienced and had way more romantic (or perhaps only sexual) feelings towards me. I wanted to be in a relationship and so I stayed with him, even though I eventually decided that my feelings for him were purely platonic. This became an increasing issue for me; it made me stressed and anxious, constantly second-guessing my own wants simply so that I didn’t upset anyone. 

I was with R for a total of years, and while he was a good friend, he was definitely not someone I should have been dating, and not nearly for that long. Among problems that made it a bad romantic relationship, I simply didn’t share any romantic or sexual attraction to him, and almost got to the point where I told myself I was straight-up broken and that fictional relationships had ruined my ability to feel love for other people (a total cop-out excuse, but I nevertheless believed it). It wasn’t until shortly I graduated that I finally stood up for how I felt and told him that I didn’t share his romantic feelings and we broke up, but not without a shit-ton of guilt-tripping where he tried to convince me otherwise (keep in mind this was the SECOND break-up attempt, because the first time a year prior, he guilt-tripped me and won, furthering my self-doubt).

Because I didn’t prioritize my feelings over others, I was in a relationship for 3 years that I was absolutely unhappy with and, to some degree, felt extremely uncomfortable with. I like to blame that for my inexperience and lack of self-confidence at the time, along with the turmoil that came with trying to figure out my sexuality and gender in a very cisheteronormative home.

Always prioritize how you feel when it comes to any relationship–the moment you start to make excuses, that’s when its worth really flies out the window. You will definitely hurt yourself when you don’t remember to keep your wants and needs in the forefront of your mind, and I absolutely say that you need to tell P how you feel, regardless of how he’ll feel or take it. He is not entitled to your love, your feelings, your anything. A relationship is based on mutual respect, adoration, and a desire to encourage and help the other people involved in it. It is ALWAYS mutual.

If he can’t respect that you don’t share romantic or sexual feelings for him, if he can act like an adult and understand that no attraction is obligated to become something more, then you shouldn’t affiliate with him at all in all honesty.

On the same topic of relationships, I learned a bit of a hard way that you’re honestly better off looking for them once you’re out of high school. I know this can seem weird, but the romanticism of being in a relationship–especially when you’re younger/still in high school–can lead to a lot of inexperienced people hurting themselves and others because they don’t yet understand what they want out of a relationship. 

It wasn’t until I got my feelings and self together that I was emotionally prepared to be in a relationship I would consider deep and fufilling in all honesty, and that’s the one that I’m currently in with my two partners. I’m gonna be 23 next month, if that’s any sense of an anchor-point for where you’re at. It’s nice to be in a relationship, I won’t deny that! It’s helped me learn even more things about myself in a healthy environment, such as me being trans and asexual, but it’s also because the people I’m with understand that we have to put our needs first and worth them out together. 

As long as you stay safe, focus on your needs and desires, and work hard on being confident to stick to your guns to make sure that whatever relationship you may find yourself in is healthy and mutual, then you don’t have anything to worry about. Just enjoy life one day at a time as best as you can, and I’m always here if you ever need any other advice or help with something.