#it's gonna be 30k minimum

[mieczyhale]

update on the insurance and residency situation::

shits fucked

HOWEVER

this particular system has never met me or my family. specifically, but not only, my mom

we're the most determined and stubborn bastards you ever did see once we decide something

yesterday i felt hopeless

today i am furious

through bullheadedness and god i'm getting in, and i'm going to get better, and none of y'all fuckers (u.s insurance agencies eat shit challenge, call centers with no answers do better challenge, people with the actual answers never calling back do your job challenge) can stop me.

[filet-o-feelings]

okay, I opened the doc... what next?

(counting this as my inspiration Saturday... it's more of plea for inspiration but it's what I'm working with. Anyway, thanks for the tags @hippolotamus and @lemonlyman-dotcom 🥰)

[thesugarhole]

quick venting post just as i finally began internalizing 'oh well play the cards im dealt' and try to find some comfort in the life i currently have and making future plans to go for an easier get-by once i have a safety net (savings) its like. im suddenly and steadily bombarded by messages like 'make sure you do what you want now dont let life take you on the predicted path its a risk you gotta take' like fucking hello??? theyre not mutually exclusive to a degree but its also... idk to explain its like if you dont have it planned from 10 years old then you might have some good experiences but its never the life youll want. and its direct conflit with 'never too late to start doing something'

yesterday night for example i opened the 'news' (its more articles full of advertising and soccer than actual news) tab on my phone and there was one like 'tips from CEO who retired at 44!' and it w

boiled down to, quote 'having life planned to the microscopic detail by the time she was 20' (im 27 this year, fucking come on) studied hard, worked hard for the first youthful years, made it to portugal microsoft ceo(?) and amassed enough to retire early.

it was mentioned she lost her parents early (at 50yos, but how old was she then?) that helped push her to plan it like this but like. well first of all i guess im still too bright eyed because i dont believe this ceo thing possible without loosing morals/ideals along the way (ive yet to met a ceo thats not incredibly out of touch and wants to fuck over everyone and everything for their own gain), but i find it harder to believe there was no silver spoon, especially for those first years. granted if shes 44 now she probably had an easier economy then, but hm. millions work hard from the moment theyre born, how come they don't retire at 44?

the investments. there it was. 'oh i invested in real estate and other small things' thats not hard work, thats gambling. and thats the exact moral loss i expected, the way real estate in portugal is now. and god this pisses me off so much what the FUCK does 'invest in real estate' EVEN MEAN?? you want me to buy stocks off some company?? you want me to buy a house and become a landlord?? i dont even have a place for myself, much less for the tourists and digital nomads. and for every one person saying they got rich off investing, oh you gotta invest smart etc theres 10 currently trying and bleeding money and about 30 that already gave up on it. like it genuinely feels like any other get rich quick scheme where its disheartening that it worked for a couple people and those couple people already had money to begin with

idk if any if this is gonna make sense im writing from heart and whatever the text leads but you understand this right. like my current goal is to just find something later on that will pay decent, not make me slowly but steadily give up on it and have personal time for hobbies. and then i get this shit thrown at me. in 4 months ive been broken down enough that the ridiculous honey pot that is 'invest! stocks! etc!' is starting to appeal to me. like i am not going to be different from the other failure cases im not one lottery away from being set for life. and at the very least im not putting money in the machine selling 40m2 studio apartments for 1 million euros to foreigners while throwing people in the streets if they had houses, jail if they were illegally occupying abandoned houses with no roof. fuck sakes

[sad--tree]

i want 2 travel i want 2 go back 2 school i want 2 get my lotr tattoo sleeve i want 2 move out i want 2 have my own shitty tiny space that's Mine and i want 2 come home and be Okay i want i want i want

[thebestestbat]

ok so WHO is gonna get the ao3 name 'alise breka' and post 30k minimum of fucked up misericorde/cor'ina porn

[ot3]

Sorry that was supposed to say: I love your narumitsu Christmas fic, do you ever think you’ll write other fic?

Thank you very much! and probably, at some point. god knows i have so many ideas. i really want to someday get back to writing my leverage au. I started a direct sequel to the christmas fic over 2 years ago, set 25 years afterwards for more christmas shenanigans, but there was just way way too much i wanted to cram in there like it'd probably be bare minimum 30k and it just got really daunting. I've also got a Phoenix and Trucy centric fic i've been tossing around in my brain for a couple years i'd really like to finish someday, but what's been written of it so far is just really not good.

I'm not much of a prose writer, i don't enjoy doing it a ton and i'm not super confident with the results, so it's really a last ditch effort for when an idea truly will not get purged from my brain. right now pretty much any of the time i would theoretically spend writing goes to working on my comic.

Anyway I had like the first thousand or so words of that sequel fic written up and then just stopped but ill stick whats there below the cut. YMMV.

Neither of them love Los Angeles, but they stay. Sooner or later everyone ends up back there. like a cat neglecting a sunbeam in favor of lying on the worn down arm of a highly trafficked couch, all Phoenix and Miles have to do is wait. The house feels cavernous when it’s just the two of them alone, but the days bleed by fast, sometimes distressingly so, and that emptiness only lasts as much as anything else does.

They’re alone now. Over a year or two since they’ve had a houseguest stay for more than a handful of days at a time. It makes the empty rooms feel frivolous. Perhap there’s something sad about it in the abstract, so many beds gathering dust. Miles doesn’t really mind it.

In the kitchen: Phoenix standing in front of the island chopping peppers and onions, Miles shuffling up behind him. Wraps his arms around his husband’s stomach, in the airy privacy of broad windows looking out to nothing but a generous yard. One hand slips under the hem of his shirt.

“Mmm… making breakfast?” He mumbles into Phoenix’s neck before laying a row of kisses along it.

“Yes, I’m making an omelet. For myself.”

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Miles pushes Phoenix’s shirt up a little further, and starts working his mouth across his jaw.

“I asked you if you wanted breakfast, and you said no, and to let you sleep more, and I did,” Phoenix huffs. 

“Yes, but now I’m awake,” he says, “and I’m hungry.”

One of Phoenix’s hands is still working the knife on the cutting board. The other reaches up over his shoulder to weave into Miles’ hair. Miles steps forward, pressing him insistently against the countertop.

“What? What is this?” Phoenix asks, tapping the flat of the knife on Miles’ wrist. “What are you doing here? Are you trying to have sex with me or do you want me to make you breakfast?”

“I want you to make me breakfast, and then I want to have sex with you.” It has been a long and busy week, but now that week is over. Miles intends to enjoy himself. 

“So needy! Pick one or the other, I’m not running a charity here.”

“Breakfast.” 

“You’re not even gonna pretend to think about that one?” He clicks his tongue. Sets the knife on the counter, turns around in Miles’ grip to loop his arms around the other man’s neck. “Don’t even have to consider if you want me more than an omelet?” 

“I’m being efficient and cutting out the part of this conversation where you pretend you’re not going to want me to fuck you in an hour or so regardless.”

“I don’t know about that. Maybe I’m finally over it. You’ve been working so many late nights, maybe the spark is gone. What if it’s now or never?” 

“I suppose,” Miles says, “that that’s a risk I’m willing to take. In pursuit of an excellent omelet.” 

“Then I guess I’m making omelets.” Phoenix disentangles himself and turns around. Picks the knife back up and – and immediately hurls it onto the floor as he startles, caught completely off guard by his phone ringing further down the counter. “Shit!”

He answers it. Miles tries to lean in and pick up the other half of the conversation, but Phoenix plants a hand firmly across his face to keep him at bay. Smudging his glasses, the nerve. On his end, Phoenix doesn’t say much. Mostly ‘uh huh’ and ‘yeah’ but he sounds excited, topping off the call with a ‘great!’ He sets it back on the counter when he’s done.

“That was Apollo,” he says, with more gravity than Miles thinks a phone call from Apollo warrants, not that he isn’t fond of the man.

“And?”

“And he called to tell us that he and Klavier are good. For Christmas, I mean. They can come.”

“Is that-”

“Yeah, I think so. Pretty sure.” Phoenix starts counting on his fingers, mouthing something but not saying it out loud. “Yeah. That’s everyone.”

Miles fails to resist the urge to double check. He mentally runs over the list himself. Trucy. Franziska and Ema. Maya and Pearl, and her girls, and whatever other sprog the two of them will be bringing up from Kurain. Apollo and Klavier and the kids. Kay. That’s it. That’s everyone. How many years had it been since they were last able to wrangle all of these people in the same room? Five? Closer to ten?

“Goodness,” he finds himself saying.

“Yeah,” Phoenix says again, and then, a pause. “Yeah. Hey. We should do presents.”

“Christ. You had to go ahead and ruin it already, didn’t you?” Miles picks the knife up off the floor and sets it into the sink before handing Phoenix another from the block. “I’m not doing this on an empty stomach.” 

Phoenix offers him a shitty little salute. “There’s that holiday spirit!” ----

Later, when they’re in the shower, Phoenix is thinking about it. They don’t do presents anymore. It had just trickled to a natural stop, unspoken, as everyone had gotten older and wealthier and more traveled. Houses and suitcases ending up with less and less empty space as years went on. If you saw something and thought someone just had to have it, you got it for them, but the expectation of it had long since flamed. Birthdays and Christmases marched by without much fanfare beyond a big dinner and a few too many drinks.

[blocksruinedme]

A Bad Boys fic. I want them to kiss, it takes awhile. It was going to be a sex farce that was mostly farce. Now it's a whole lot of character study and so much sexual tension that idek what is going on? Why is Jimmy so bad at letting himself believe people genuinely want him??? (let's explore this over my next 35 fanfics...)

This is the fic that was gonna be one chapter, one day, maybe 2k-3k. Instead ch 1 is 7k and ch 2 is likely longer. This one's not E, but ch2 will be so i'm just marking the rating now. (It would fall under M under some technicalities but I'm not letting Grian get away with that shit.

The timing ain't great cause I know the fanbase is off watching content, but I'll give myself a cheeky little reblog tomorrow or something. In 6 minutes i get my 48h mcyt extreme exchange challenge megawatt overworld whatever assignment, so except a new fic from me sunday at noon eastern. minimum is 300 words, so here's hoping i can stay under 30k.

[onlyjaeyun]

tbh I mayhaps started writing again. Currently I have 30k of a Sunghoon fic(idk how long it's gonna be but lets just say it just hit the climax), 12k of a Heeseung fic, 6k of a Sunoo fic, and finished a 7k Yuma fic and 11k Jo fic. Like I can't just focus on one thing at one time, I get writers block and start a whole new fic. I also have a bunch of other ideas, I have at least one plot for each and every member of &Team and Enhypen, some have multiple, to give a little taste of some I have ideas for but I haven't started yet kitsune Taki, guardian angel which turns into fallen angel Euijoo, enemies to lovers Jay, and a the Little Mermaid fic with Jake(since tell me Jake is not Prince Eric coded). And it's so sexy to see you using some of the ideas I've sent you for Strictly Business, before long we'll all be sending you Strictly Business thoughts and headcannons.

Of course Sunoo and Niki may have been in it sparsely, but they are still family, and ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. Allow me to leave you with a few last, last for now I'll probably think of more later, Poison future thoughts:

Everyone always takes vacation together once a year, all 14 of them and their 15 kids, they all rent a private jet, thanks to sugar daddy Jay and his extremely extremely well paying job. They all enjoy an amazing two week vacation together each summer, all the kids and adults alike. It's a tradition that started back when only Hee and y/n had a child and the only married ones were Hee and Hoon, the rest were just dating. It however, has turned into a long standing tradition; they all set aside two weeks each year and just enjoy being together, no responsibilities or anything, except for their children until they get old enough to handle themselves. It is on these vacations that their children grow closer, the ones that aren't in the same grade.

Each birthday within the group is celebrated with everyone, a minimum of at least 30 people, since Jay's sister will come when he asks her too, will come to each party; even if none of the kids friends come, they have a full party regardless. Sunghoon plans each and every party, wanting nothing but the best for all their kids, he even offers to help Sunoo and Niki plan their kids birthdays. He's also prepared for everything, like once his daughter wanted a Princess Elsa birthday party, but the princess he booked got the flu the day before and had to cancel, so instead of that Elsa, they had a 6 foot tall Elsa that looked oddly like Hoon singing Let It Go off-key, but his daughter had the time of her life at least.

Hoon's daughter is an absolutely princess and he's dreaded the day she comes home telling him she has a crush, like he knows how he reacted to his little sister having a crush, his daughter having a crush would be even worse. And worst it is, she comes home saying she's in love with one of the Sim boys and Hoon's heart just about stops, he loves Jake and all, they are besties, but she had to fall for his son. Hoon however encourages it, and little does he know that crush a 15 year old girl had on the 14 year old son of Jake, will turn into him walking her down the aisle with tears in his eyes to marry that son only ten years in the future.

Jungwon's daughters are all princesses as well, but not as bad Hoon's, he however dreads the love talks even more, I mean how can he not when he has to deal with 3 times compared to Hoon's 1. When his middle daughter comes home with hearts in her eyes, he'd terrified of what to say and of course their mom isn't around, so he has to deal with it. He's even more terrified when the name out of the girl's mouth is the name of Jay Park's son. What starts as a simple crush turns into Jay's son attending family dinner, taking Jungwon's daughter to prom, and before long asking Jungwon for his daughter's hand in marriage with tears in eyes. Jungwon might be a protective father, but deep within his heart, he knows there is no one that would love his daughter as much as Jay's son does, and he happily gives her away, crying tears of happiness at the wedding, that quickly turn to tears of sadness as it hits him he has to do this two more times.

All their children remain friends even once meeting adulthood, their friendship reminiscent of the friendship between their parents. Jake, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon's sons are carbon copies of them, forming their own little group, the six of them being just as bad as their dads were. Meanwhile Sunghoon, Jungwon, and Heeseung's 5 daughters form a somewhat similar group, all the cousins being best friends.

bestie you're a MACHINEEEEE and im afraid very much needed for this fandom so pls do reconsider coming back on here and blessing people with your talent 😭😭😭💞 and pls its so sexy of YOU for the ideas to strictky business you've sent me like its an honor for me to use those and i hope you know how much i appreciate your input 🥺💞

and please every time i think im over poison you send me headcanons like these and i get all emotional bc i lit teared up thinking about the boys creating mini mes and having them gang uo as well like i just 🥺 i'd marry your brain if i could and since i cant pls accept my kisses 💔🩷💞💗

[orcelito]

Been over a fucking month since I've written Anything largely bc of the new girlfriend and also the BG3 and also. Ykno. Life.

Cooking up an au tho for this reverse bang thing I entered. Got paired up with a friend, so that's fun! It's probably gonna be much longer than I'm necessarily Supposed to write (like I'd be lucky if it ended up under 30k when the required minimum is 5k....) but ykno what ain't that just the way for me.

That's only gonna be released in July tho. Not supposed to talk about details either in public (this is gonna be a Real test of strength for me...) but it will be lots of fun once it's out!

And. I do plan to continue writing ITNL before too long. I do. Life has just been....... ykno. Pretty overwhelming. But I'll get there. I'm hoping to start writing again soon.

[piease-iove-me]

can u answer all of them????

omg! i wasn't expecting this but happily! thank you!!!

When did you start writing? How?

. mmm i think it was about 2018? around that time i started trying my hand with writing small drabbles for this au on here

2. Has your writing changed over time?

. it has!!! incredibly so! especially lately since i've started writing for the tw fandom. though i still have a long way to go TT

3. Do you read your own fics?

. mmmm depends? i mostly do to see what's going on and if it's making any sense. rarely just for the sake of it

4. Do you write every day? If so, do you have daily goals?

. i have taken a break from writing regularly the past couple months. but before that? especially since i was in this twt fix exchange, i wrote a minimum of 2/3k words per day, 5k on my free days TT i kind of miss those times.

5. Do you plan? Or do you “wing it”?

. winging it gives me incredible amounts of anxiety. so yeah. i totally plan plan plan until i can find no hole anymore. chances are there will be some anyway but at least i can fool myself

6. If you plan, what does your planning process look like?

. mostly i go with an idea, that's often just a scene or short dialogue and then i try see how everyone got to that place. and from there i fill in all the holes that inevitable form. i don't stop planning/start writing until all my own nagging questions are answered. if i end up stuck, i drop the idea :') i'm kind of a perfectionist so... couldn't do otherwise TT

7. How would you describe your writing style?

. oh uh... idk??????

8. Have any comments/tags/responses on a fic of yours ever made you laugh, cry or both?

. mmm laugh yes, quite some, actually. and i'm so thankful for them? funny comments are just such a balm to the soul sometimes

9. Have you ever made yourself laugh with something you’ve written?

. omg yes TT but i can have quite some very dark humor so i'm not gonna expose myself and say what did the trick TT

10. How many unfinished works are in your drafts?

oh good god. i know for sure it must be about 30, afraid to check the actual number though TT and that would be without counting the scribbled away ideas i have collected in my notes (20 last i checked) and docs TT

11. Do you write for yourself, or for the readers?

. thankfully, i started to mostly write for myself. or rather, i write what i want and hope people will like it, but either way i know my story won't be molded by others' likings and wants. so that's a good enough compromise/achievement imo

12. Do you feel pressured to write some days?

. i used to. especially when writing for my previous fandom cause of all the pressure to update. but now? here? not really, it'a all so chill and nice i can take it slow

13. Multichapter fics or one shots?

. admitting most of my works start as one shots, i can't do one shots. once i go past the 20k mark ik i'm screwed. but! sometimes i make them 30k-isk one shots and say fuck it overwhelming lengths :')

14. Do you take requests?

. would love to! but anxiety and low self-esteem don't really work in my favour here

15. Angst or fluff?

. angst! tho i'm never sure how much of what i write actually is angst? let's say it feels more something like hurt/comfort

[swftlore]

one thing about byler fics is they always gonna be long as SHIT. like every single one ive seen is like at LEAST 30k minimum. and i love that

[hollygolightlyclub]

hey! i'm a fan of longer fics (like 25k minimum) so i was wondering if you have any recs? i think ive read all the ones in your long tag. hope youre well!

This..... is unfortunately a very wide spectrum. Half way through, I realized I could have just given you (slightly tedious but effective) instructions on how to search my blog for word count (which is in the tags if this doesn't sate you 🤣). However, I do understand the struggle of how ass the blog tag search is (seriously, like half the fics under any given tag don't show up for exactly NO reason 😭), plus I've spent several hours putting this together, so. Giant list of 25k+ fics I have rec-ed over the years 👍 (very much abridged to keep my sanity, believe it or not)

Just remember, you asked for it 💀

25k - 29k

Tie Your Monster Down by stereomer

Spun by Dear_monday

Momentum Keeps Us Going, Gravity Makes Us Strong by Akamine_chan

Echoes of Mercy, Whispers of Love by Stoplightglow

No Experience Necessary by Ladyfoxxx

In All Our Lives by stoplightglow

Break the Walls (& Kill Us All) by Tabulaxrasa

A Natural Reaction to Ruff Housing by Bexless

Carpe-Fucking-Diem by Chimneythunder

Try & Keep The Faith by Chemicalcandy

Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where by Kitoko_kun

Mikey Way and the Quest for the Stone by Roxy_palace

The Good Life by sinsense

The Life of Dinosaurs by Akamine_chan

Purgatorio by Tuesdaysgone (all together)

30k - 39k

In chains made of gold by Hangmans_Radio

The Happiest Fuckin’ Place On Earth™ by Roxy_palace

And Me Here on the Ground by Frequentlybees

Not Smashing Windows by Inlovewithnight

Six Degrees of Frank by stoplightglow

A Constant Work in Progress by Ounceuponamoon

Twisting Fate by Throwupsparkles

Variations On Fugue by Mrsronweasley

And I Dream Of What I Need by Blindmadness

Shadows Fall Behind by Anoceanmonster

All The Broken Pieces (Keep Cool, Stay Tough) by Lucifuge5

A Shot That You Can Chase by stoplightglow

40k - 49k

Ain’t Nobody Gonna Love You Like The Devil Do by Dear_monday

King of the Rodeo by Fluffontop

Everyone Goes to Pan’s by Roxy_palace

Skin of the Canvas by Sinsense

This Tornado Loves You by Theopteryx

Empty With You by Akamine_chan & Jiksa

Thing-Thing by sinsense

Septicemia by Innocent_wolves

1930s Dragverse by wordslinging

Waiting (For the Hammer to Fall) by mausoleumheart

Through the Trees by Modern_dion

Kill This Need To Be Someone Else by Throwupsparkles

Custom Made by Kitoko_kun

Let The Darkness Lead You Home by Rivers_bend

50k - 59k

The Fall & Rise of the Black Parade by Wordslinging

Gunpowder & Lead by Prophetic

Living on a prayer by beforethesungoesdown & Kitoko_kun

Somewhere In Neverland by Chimneythunder

Up The Line by Tabulaxrasa

The Holly Golightly Club by fluffontop

A Crack in the Sky by Wordslinging

Ad Astra by Doctorkilljoy

60k - 69k

D is for Dangerous by Kitoko_kun (all together)

To Solve a Paradox by stoplightglow (all together)

The Way of the Voice by Fleurdeliser, Tuesdaysgone, & Frequentlybees

70k - 79k

In The Walls by Thesamefire

Masterpiece by Innocent_wolves

Settle for me by Kitoko_kun

Brian Schechter’s School For The Gifted by Casesandcapitals (all together)

24 Frames Per Second by Leandra (all together)

Strange Things Happen at The One Two Points by Lovebashed

80k - 89k

Fate Don't Make Mistakes by Cedarbranch

The Sad Dad Club by Mousefrnk

Pinkish by Antspaul

90k - 99k

Glory-Hole’verse by Kitoko_kun (all together)

In Your Sweetest Torment, I'm Lost by Throwupsparkles

The Science of Sleep by Chimneythunder

100k+

Take Me By The Hand by Mychemicalrachel

Drawing Down The Moon by Hangmans_radio

Monsters and Kings by Hangmans_Radio

Gerard Way's (Vampire) Detective Agency by jjtaylor (all together)

[quaranmine]

Hiya!!!

I don't remember if I saw you mention it anywhere, but what are you planning for nano?

also I wish you luck in completing it!!! ^^

hi!! the only mention I've made of it was last week, since this was a rather impulsive decision, but my goal is to just work frantically at bringing the sequel to my fic HTBAHB closer to completion. So my goal is to add 30k to my wip IBW (which is already sitting at 20k.) 30k won't finish it since it's gonna be a long fic, but it will get it within the realm of "sufficiently far enough for me to feel comfortable beginning to post chapters" haha

I think it's doable because I basically wrote 85% of HTBAHB through a daily writing challenge. The only difference in this is that I'll just be doing it faster this time (i.e. need to average approx 1k per day instead of my 250 word minimum last time)

and thank you!!! i am determined to finish this fic even if it kills me

[commander-gloryforge]

okay get some dio lore. when the pandemic started i was in a HORRIBLE place mentally and literally one of the only things that got me through and kept me alive was. a fanfic.

im not gonna talk about what fandom it was or any specifics but i had started writing a fanfic, and i had started posting it, and it kind of semi blew up in my fandom. so over the course of maybe a year or so, maybe a bit less, i wrote this 110k word slowburn fanfic, and to this day it has somehow reached 30k hits on ao3.

i think this fic has genuinely changed my life, and even if rereading it now is a bit cringe, there are still parts that are genuinely good, i still love it to death. i do, however, no longer write fanfics, at least not for this fandom

so right now i'm starting to rewrite it. im turning the characters into OCs, i'm changing a few things, a LOT of things actually, and right now I'm working on the new main characters.

i had a playlist for this fic back then, and I'm redoing that as well, so i'm listening to it again to see which songs i want to reuse. honestly. it hits so much. it really is so nice to just think back to that story and revive it. there are so many themes that i get to implement now, i get to shape the characters so much more to my liking, this is all so. SO. damn exciting.

ill keep the ranting to a minimum on this account but i just felt like talking about it because this is such a joy...

[acerikus]

for the fic rating: friends to enemies to friends to lovers

In response to this ask game:

A! Wouldn't say I really 'comb ao3' for tropes as much as just whatever fandom or ship I'm currently into, but this is one of my big favourite tropes for sure. I love a good long fic (30k minimum to count but 100k+ is best), and fics w that kinda dynamic are usually pretty damn long.

The conflict is super important, as is the history!!!! The loop back is always really satisfying too, plus you get to do the thing where you get to them fighting and just sit and grin at your screen like 'yeah yeah, whatever. I know how you guys are gonna end up lol'

[areyouafraid]

im really gonna crack up man like im really gonna lose my shit one of these days.

ive sent application after application to all these different dumps for the last 3 months and none of them have come back. none of them pay more than maybe 15 an hour at best. and this fucking freelance thing i just tried to look into to at least supplement me with a form of income while i look for a job is a total shitshoot its garbage i flat out dont even know if i can do it. im 19 right now im lucky im not like fucking paying rent or anything. but i sure will have to eventually! it's bad enough i feel like a fuckup who can't keep a job after i got fired from my last dump but like. only so much time

virtually all of my family and friends age 20 - 30 live in fucking dumpy little tenement apartments and those are the ones who can even get places of their own. dont know if i even know anyone who makes more than like maybe 30K a year. and i think we're still the lucky ones. my parents got a 3 bedroom house back in 2001 and i live with them. but i cant live here forever, like financially socially emotionally thats just not... feasible for me. i think they said a little over 11% of americans live under the poverty line? and then there's a study that says america has the worst poverty rate out of 26 "developed" nations. this country is a fucking sick little joke. an empire built off of genocide that brutalizes the rest of the world while its citizens rot in the streets. a twisting labyrinth of dead-end jobs and unwalkable cities with nothing to do but toil and die. what is new york city if not a giant factory town? and this does not even cover one one-eighth of what is wrong with this stupid shitshow of a country

and whatever i know i should just be grateful for what i have (what do i have?) and i know it's a common sentiment among poor / impoverished people to be like well you just need to hustle harder well this is just how it is etc etc but like just what an absurd fucking way to think like you guys are fucking high. people shouldn't live like this. people can't live like this. it's not sustainable. it's not realistic. we have to have a right to shelter and food and literally at the bare minimum to fucking survive like... i mean for fuck's sake there are wild dogs who live in tiny rock dens smeared with their own shit and blood who still have a better quality of life than human beings in our beautiful utopian capitalist society. at least ants and wolves look out for each other. what happens when you fall sick or become homeless in america? what happens if you don't have enough money in america?

with every new day i feel more and more like anything resembling a fulfilling life is just not possible here. i don't know where else i would go. i know travel is expensive. idk i just like. i know this is my home and it does feel like a cop-out but i can't live like this. nobody can live like this. fuuuuck this. honest to christ even if north korea was actually one quarter as bad as US propaganda says it is that would be better than this. at least under the Cold Cruel Hand of Communism i'd have something to fall back on. i'd be insured and have a place to live. what do we have in capitalist america? a weak nod of acknowledgement? and you know what my least favorite part of "patriotic" american bullshit is? if this is really the "best country on earth" we might as well just start organizing mass suicides.

and now with senile old fuck biden regurgitating israeli propaganda and encouraging the senseless murder of palestinians i just think. and this is the guy democrats wanted. this is the guy that republicans were shitting themselves over telling themselves he'd turn america communist or whatever. god if youre still even taking calls from this fucking tragedy of a planet i hope some sort of incurable and highly infectious plague breaks out inside the white house and all of those stupid fucks end up with abscesses forming inside their brains. it might not fix anything but it'd take some of those perverted vultures off the face of the earth so it'd be a nice pick-me-up at least. UGHHHHHHHHHH