#it's just dirty mind

[k-3nd]

I want dirty dungeons and dragons.

I want real seduction instead of rolls. Clothing removal as penalty for failed checks. Cockwarming in exchange for better loot. Vibrators controlled by the DM. A whole room full of horny players squirming in their seats trying to remember simple addition.

I want ‘The BBEG is casting a charm spell- stare into this spiral and edge yourself for the rest of combat.’

And

‘You failed your wisdom save and are now the Naga’s slave- now take off your panties and sit on the battle board, she wants to make use of her new toy’

[ignoremeow]

Oh, yeah! I do that from time to time.

# people hate me for it.

[obligatebureaucrat]

I haven’t seen a single person be horny about the elephant powerup in Mario Wonder, but I’ve seen like a thousand Twitter Comedians be like “HOLY SHIT IT’S A FETISH! LOOK A FETISH! NINTENDO PLEASE DONT UNLEASH THIS CURSED SHIT ONLINE”

And like, yeah some people are gonna be into it (and more power to you), but it’s obnoxious that a good chunk of the discourse about Wonder is people seeing the most benign kids-show-grade animal character and pretending like Nintendo just unveiled Ball Gag Mario or some shit.

[inklessletter]

Baby.

Yeah, just--trust the very slow process with me, yeah?

[buckttommy]

umm. pause. guys. guys. gay tommy has been canon this entire time. what the fuck. like. oh my god. no. like. okay. okay. so. 2x9 (hen begins), sal [deluca] is talking about his girlfriend dragging him to see twilight. he makes a homophobic joke about tommy being team jacob and tommy's like "i don't even know what that means." chimney says "he's insinuating that you're gay" and tommy blows deluca a kiss. fine. whatever. but THEN you skip to 2x12 (chimney begins), and—i stg it's a blink and you miss it moment—tommy and gerrard (racist captain) are having this conversation in the background

tommy: what about that burger place? gerrard: tommy i hate that place. hey wasn't your girlfriend supposed to come and cook us dinner? tommy: uhh. next tuesday. gerrard: promise? tommy: uhh. uh. yes. yeah. i will promise.

and it's like. number one, this sounds like a conversation they've had before. something to the tune of "hey, how come you never bring your girlfriend around" which i can't help but think was intentional considering the members of the old 118 were entirely familiar with deluca's girlfriend gina. but number two, no straight man who has a girlfriend sounds that unsure that they have a fucking girlfriend. it was very much giving "ah yes. this human lady that i love that most definitely exists. absolutely. also i like breasts." and it's just like. ok. what the fuck. like. i don't know if this was the plan all along. i don't think it was. i still maintain buck/eddie were supposed to go canon after the shooting and the powers that be got in the way. but. but. the idea that this canon queer character has been hiding in plain sight (subtext) is just. wild to me. like. i've always headcanoned tommy as gay, mostly because every character he plays seems fruity as hell. but bro. i don't think it's a headcanon anymore. and i don't think it ever has been. what the fuck.

there's also the idea that. like. so i've been watching the begins episodes again trying to figure out what, exactly, tommy's crime against the members of the 118 has been. like. he worked in a -phobic/-cist environment. he was definitely complicit in making hen/chimney feel like outsiders in their workplace yes yes all these things are true. but as far as i can tell, tommy has rarely ever actively been anything except spineless. deluca makes a homophobic joke? tommy laughs. gerrard makes a bunch of sexist and racist comments? tommy looks, but doesn't say anything to encourage (or discourage him). hen gives her monologue? he looks chagrined.

and his complicity would be absolutely shitty and inexcusable if he was just a cishet white man. no questions asked. but if — if — you view his behavior through the lens of the fact that tommy is queer himself? that tommy is, and always has been, a member of a marginalized community who felt it was easier and safer to assimilate than it was to be openly queer and have a target on his back? his behavior becomes a whole hell of a lot more understandable. yes, it's still shitty, but. there's a purpose behind it. and this idea is supported by the fact that, when gerrard leaves (flashing forward to bobby begins again), even before bobby gets there (because we always credit bobby with making the 118 the family it is today), like. the atmosphere is completely different. tommy and hen? are friendly with each other. chimney and tommy? also friendly with each other. which we also know because in 2x14 broken, he calls him up for help. which lends credibility to the idea that the problems tommy had (or thought he had) with henchim were not about them as people but more about whatever manufactured conservative boys club bullshit gerrard fostered.

and it's just like. motherfucker. bitch. what the hell. like. first of all, leave it to 9-1-1 to tell a story like this in the most subtle way possible. like if that was indeed the intended implication, i'm throwing my tv off a bridge immediately. but also. second of all. what is wrong with this show. they're crazy. i want to eat it like a loaf of bread. just shovel it in my mouth because the idea that tommy has been queer all along, that he wasn't brought back just to be a stopgap on buck's queer journey to eddie, but that he's been haunting the edges of the narrative like a gay ghost is sooo like. ohhh. okay. [throws up]. like????? okay. anyway. i'm going to be thinking about this the rest of the day.

[koszmarnybudyn]

They are creatures.

[itachanta]

I am looking not very respectfully

[hogwartslegacypics]

Sebastian’s Wand

My personal headcanon: aspen wood, dragon heartstring core, 12-13 inches, unbending flexibility

Starting with the wood, I’m fairly certain that Sebastian’s wand is made from aspen. The description for aspen wood wands scream Sebastian, and given how prominent dueling is for his character (and being one of the first things we learn about him), it seems like such an intentional choice on the developers behalf to have chosen this while designing his wand. Like “Ah, this one’s all about dueling, it’s perfect for Sebastian!”The color of aspen wood is described as “pale light yellow to nearly white” which matches the color of Sebastian’s wand perfectly.

“Wand-quality aspen wood is white and fine-grained, and highly prized by all wand-makers for its stylish resemblance to ivory and its usually outstanding charmwork. The proper owner of the aspen wand is often an accomplished duellist, or destined to be so, for the aspen wand is one of those particularly suited to martial magic. An infamous and secretive eighteenth-century duelling club, which called itself The Silver Spears, was reputed to admit only those who owned aspen wands. In my experience, aspen wand owners are generally strong-minded and determined, more likely than most to be attracted by quests and new orders; this is a wand for revolutionaries.” – Mr. Ollivander

Now, let’s move on to the core! I’m more conflicted about this one. All I know for sure is that I highly doubt his wand has a unicorn hair core because we know those don’t mix well with dark magic, and Sebastian wouldn’t have been able to cast all three of the unforgivable curses so easily if he had a unicorn core. It’s possible yeah, but they seemed to come so naturally to him which makes me highly doubt it.

Side note: Draco had a unicorn hair core wand, and even if he did end up attempting to use AK on Dumbledore, I believe it would have failed due to this. His intent would have needed to be foolproof to overcome the core, and he was hesitating to begin with. It would take a very dark wizard like Voldemort to turn a unicorn core wand dark, and that’s not Sebastian.

That leaves either a dragon heartstring or a phoenix feather core.

Dragon: As a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner. The dragon wand tends to be easiest to turn to the Dark Arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord. It is also the most prone of the three cores to accidents, being somewhat temperamental.

Phoenix: This is the rarest core type. Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn or dragon cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike. Phoenix feather wands are always the pickiest when it comes to potential owners, for the creature from which they are taken is one of the most independent and detached in the world. These wands are the hardest to tame and to personalise, and their allegiance is usually hard won.

I’m leaning towards dragon because “The dragon wand tends to be easiest to turn to the Dark Arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord.” While this certainly doesn’t narrow out the phoenix feather (Tom Riddle had one), it does make me think about just how easily Sebastian was able to cast the unforgivables. Dragon wands are also “capable of the most flamboyant spells” and flamboyance does describe Sebastian well, along with “somewhat temperamental.” These traits are supposed to be about the wand itself though, not necessarily the owner.

The only thing with phoenix feathers that seems Sebastian-like to me is that the wands “show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike.” We know Sebastian acts this way, but this is supposed to be about the wand itself, and I don’t think Sebastian would be happy with a wand like that. Phoenix cores are also so rare that Harry and Voldemort are the only people in original series confirmed to have had one. It’s a very MC-esque core.

We should also keep in mind that, according to HP Wiki, certain wand woods can react with certain cores in unique ways, affecting the wand's personality and/or magical abilities. Based on what we know, dragon cores do seem like they’d be more suited for an aspen wood wand because I’m sure the power of the core goes along well with a wood suited for dueling. Phoenix feathers are even more powerful though, they just take time for their power to show. I’m still kind of conflicted so POLL TIME!!

Next up is wand length! According to Ollivander, “longer wands tend to be drawn to bigger personalities, and those of a more spacious and dramatic style of magic.” Longer wands also work well with taller witches and wizards and are best suited to bold personalities. This is 100% Sebastian! He has such a big personality, so I think his wand would be on the longer side.

Obviously we will never know the exact length, but based on those descriptions, it’s safe to say Sebastian has a long wand. I’m estimating 12-13 inches because his wand appears to be about the same size as his forearm, and I measured my own forearm and got a little bigger than 10 inches (as a 5’6 woman) so I added 2 inches since he’s a guy, and maybe another inch because his wand does seem a little bigger than his forearm. Very scientific, yes.

Lastly, we have wand flexibility. Wand flexibility denotes the degree of adaptability and willingness to change possessed by the wand-and-owner pair. Based on this and what we know about Sebastian, his wand would be somewhere on the unbending scale because he’s stubborn as fuck. If we want specifics, I found some descriptions here and if they are canon, I think either “hard” or “unyielding” fits him the best.

Hard: A wand of this flexibility is very difficult to work with and its loyalty is not won easily. Hard wands are great for complex and advanced levels of magic, so beginning wizards and witches may find extra difficulty with this wand when it doesn't perform well for simple magic. As such, this type of wand is best suited for wizards and witches who are gifted, stubborn, and never give up. Owners of this wand also have a tendency to view things in absolutes; black or white. Some people may find them intimidating or difficult to approach.

Unyielding: A wand of this flexibility finely tunes itself to its original owner's preferences and doesn't stray from those preferences, even in the hands of a new owner; the new owner will just have to get used to it. It is particularly good for combative and healing magic. Unyielding wand owners tend to be very confident in themselves and/or in the things they believe in. They tend to be intelligent, somewhat cynical, and usually have well-defined principles that they will not stray from ever. Sometimes, this combination can lead to arrogance because of them insisting on how right they are without considering other points of view or whether or not they might be wrong.

[fenokey]

TW: Body horror

Despite the shit 1.0 release of the game i still care for him deeply

[riuhere]

Y'ALL. LOOK WHAT MY FRIEND GOT ME!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I'm gonna be honest with ya'll I did NOT think that she would actually listen to me ramble about LMK AAAHHHHHHH- 😭😭😭💖💖💖

She gave this to me at school before class started in an envelope and vaguely said that there were two pieces of polaroid photos inside. Keep in mind that before she gave this to me, she messaged me first saying that she commissioned a photo of me from three years ago and I mistook it as two copies of the exact same photo because when I opened it, my picture was at the front and the other picture was very much clinging to the back of it and I thought nothing of it because I thought it was the same pic (because again I didn't think that she would actually acknowledge I love LMK 😭) . I found that out later at my house that no, it was not a copy of the exact same pic of the other because when I separated it from the other photo, I froze and screamed because gurl??? What??? I literally thought I was hallucinating 😭😭😭 because I just woke up from a short nap after coming home from school. And then I messaged her and thanked her from the bottom of my heart because this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done to me HSHSHSHHSHSHSHS

I shall forever cherish this U.U.

[fizzytoo]

next time ama offers to help her papa with the garden, she's making sure he promises not to get all sentimental

[andy-clutterbuck]

3x01 | Seed

[heartsoji]

BABY

synopsis: nagi wants your attention, but you're working on some pain-in-the-ass school project.

warning(s): light swearing but nothing really

notes: i tried to do like the lazy nagi speaking i always see ('s instead of 'its,' jus' instead of just) but i think i kind of failed

used prompts from here! (12, 14, 20)

nagi was fed up.

you had been working on some sort of school assignment for how long? days? weeks? months? maybe years.. all nagi knows is that you've been doing it for way too long.

“sad…i have a blanket with all this extra room and no one to share it with.” he droned, hoping you would drop whatever useless school thing you were working on and just come cuddle with him instead, but alas, that was not the case.

"i'll be done soon enough, sei."

'sei.' the nickname would make any outsider think that you loved and cared for him, which you clearly didnt, seeing as you decided that that so-called 'important project for school' was more important than your wonderful boyfriend.

"how much longer?"

"maybe an hour or so,"

an hour? mhm, mhm, no. nagi didnt know if you just suddenly hated his guts, but personally, he wasn't putting up with whatever elaborate scheme to annoy him and deprive him of love and affection you had going on. although it was a pain to get out of his bed, (your bed, actually) he slid out from under the covers and sauntered over to your seated back.

he groaned as he leaned over ("'ts such a pain to bed over to your height," he says) to wrap his arms around your neck, inhaling your scent happily. you giggled and hugged him back, affectionately nuzzling his arm.

"someones feeling clingy." you quipped, smiling.

"ah, that's mean." he pouted, still tightening his hold on you further.

he sighed. "come back to bed. please?"

you looked into his beautiful, grey eyes. those pleading orbs were reaching into your heart and tugging on the strings. he gave you his best puppy eyes and the cutest pout that made your heart so happy.

"no."

dun dun DUUUUUN. nagi's jaw dropped in shock at your coldness. (actually, it was more of a slight part of the lips but thats as much as you're gonna get) where did this newfound heartlessness come from? did you suddenly hate him? why were you being so cruel?

"..please?"

"no."

"pleeease?"

"no."

"..."

"...?"

"pleeeaaaaaase?"

"sei, it wont be long until im done! i have to finish this, though."

maybe he should just let you be. you were working so diligently to work on your studies and he was just being a burden to your academic success. it wouldnt be much longer, so he should just go back to..

"SEI! PUT ME DOWN!"

"no way. your precious boyfriend who you love very much 's right here and he's not waiting any longer."

nagi gently placed you on the mattress (lowkey threw you) and immediately crawled underneath the covers beside you, immediately pressing his cheek to your chest.

"seeeeeei... i need to finish my project,"

"mm-mm. you've been working on it for way too long.. 'ts such a hassle being by myself.."

you sighed, wrapping your arms around him. "alright, but only for half an hour."

he didnt say anything, but he'd knew he'd have you staying longer than that.

he smiled warmly into your chest. "your hugs are nice..."

you giggled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "you're so sweet,"

"mm.. 'ts no need to say. i know." he smiled lazily before adding a quick, "'ts ok though. i dont mind jus' hearing you say it.."

you rolled your eyes but still held him lovingly. soon enough, however, his half an hour was up.

"sorry, sei, but i need to get back to work now." you said, pulling yourself out of bed.

he groaned. "why can't we stay here forever?"

you chuckled. "because i have work to do."

"but 'm right here.. y're really gonna leave me all by myself?" nagi pouted, trying to coax you into coming back.

"yeah." you grinned, chuckling at his pout growing wider. "im gonna get back to work now, ok?"

"no."

his long arms circled around your waist quickly before he pulled you back into bed, smushing your head into his beautifully wonderfully toned chest, enveloping you in his ginormous frame. (overgrown mf) "gotta have you with me.. work on it later.."

"nagi! i gotta get back to-"

chomp.

"WHAT THE HELL?! DID YOU JUST BITE ME?!" you screamed, rubbing the cheek he nibbled on.

he held you tighter, smushing his cheek against the top of your head. "dont call me by my last name.. 's rude."

you sighed. "you big baby."

"yeah. your baby."

you rolled your eyes but snuggled up to him regardless.

"yeah. i guess so."

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 💗

[soupy-sez]

Prince rehearsing with the band in a St. Paul studio before the Dirty Mind tour in 1981, © Allen Beaulieu [X]