#it's not a karmic result of you being gay. nothing is. sometimes a motherfucker is just gay. sometimes it rains. you know? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magdaclaire · 2 years

Text

i know deep within me that claire novak has read every single page of the winchester gospels trying desperately to find a reason why her life was upended, devouring them like she used to sit, calm and pretty, at sunday school, like she used to bow her head for prayer, with a dedication she was sometimes ashamed of, but there’s always something in her that needs to know

did she deserve it? for being like this. or is this just one of the many consequences of living your own life when god already knows that you aren’t the main character?

#i think claire is very protective over her agency in her own life after cas because she recognizes that in that time her agency was none #like she can teach herself to love and even like cas and the winchesters because she needs to #because she needs to be able to move on #claire novak #i think it's that you have to make yourself understand the person who destroyed your life if you're later going to re-involve yourself with #or if they're going to get reinvolved with you or whatever #and to me i don't believe that claire would have just wanted to listen to everyone else's stories. i think she would have wanted to read it #to know the monster inside of her father. to know the man who walks beside him. the legends of winchester #also i think dean winchester is her blorbo from her novels #but that is neither here nor there #mer rambles #mer rambles in the tags #internalized homophobia #because i do think that's... when you're a kid and you're gay sometimes you think that everything is a karmic result of that #and trust me dude if you're in that stage of your development rn #it's not a karmic result of you being gay. nothing is. sometimes a motherfucker is just gay. sometimes it rains. you know?

16 notes · View notes