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#it's so impractical BUT i rolled really well for my stats so IT WORKS
det3rra · 2 years
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hot monk alert
☆☆☆☆
[ID: A digital drawing of Juniper Saiorin-Foxe, a tan-skinned, athletic half-elf with braided dark brown hair. She has a septum piercing and several earrings, and two scars on her face and one on her upper arm. She is wearing a blue top and is winking at the viewer. The background is blue with yellow stars. End ID]
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nodesiretogrowup · 5 years
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That episode was ADORABLE!!! spoiler-y thoughts below:
It was cute seeing Team Magic together, even if it was only for a few seconds. I’m gonna pretend that they were fighting Launchpad’s wereduck ex.
Would really love to see a Dewey-Beakley episode now.
“I mean, this is very wrong, but it’s not this either.” Don’t be a hater, Scrooge. I’m surprised Huey hasn’t made himself a costume like Della has. More mother/son bonding in the future?
Goldie is a BOSS ASS BITCH and I LOVE HER.
Louie is already being adorable. I love my green son.
Louie has to stay on brand. He knows who he is.
Goldie is WORKING that necklace.
“Don’t let her get too close.” I wonder if that will come up in future episodes.
“HOW DID THIS GO SO WRONG SO QUICKLY?!” #youtried
“You gotta get close.” And theeeereeees the conflict of the episode.
“I’ll have you know I’m the evil triplet!” “Suuuure, you’re the scariest bunny in the pet shop.” I love their dynamic already.
I think there was some sincerity in Louie’s ploy. He does know feel like he’s not as good as the rest of his family.
“You know your cons.” I think you might be genuinely impressed there, Goldie.
“So you’ll teach me?!” The kid just wants a mentor he can relate to.
Poor Louie. The kid is legit TERRIFIED of Doofus. Was that invitation actually gold?
Della, you do need to sleep.
Of course Huey has a different version of epic. My sweet nerdy son. I wonder if Fenton plays this game too. It seems up his alley.
Love the art style of the game and cyborg Della.
Princess Username and the Heartthrob Goblin. I feel like Della had a crush on both of them. Though NOTHING can beat Princess Unattainabelle.
“The impractically giant weapons, the high stakes adventures!” I’m siding with Della on this one. Big weapons=Big fun
 “The whole village won’t have turnips this season” I highly doubt that is part of the game.
YAY LAZORS!
Doofus’ party looks pretty dope, not gonna lie.
My poor baby Louie. I love that he and Goldie’s outfits kind of clash. Louie is dressed to the 9s while Goldie is super casual. Possible foreshadowing of the two not being on the same page?
“Not full of hair.” WHY IS THIS CHILD LIKE THIS?!
I love that Goldie and Louie can just look at a pile of loot and know exactly how much it’s worth. Even Goldie looked impressed.
“Guhmeemama.” That’s...upsetting.
“Can’t wait to tell my therapist about it when I’m older.” HELP THIS POOR CHILD.
“No, that’s just being a bad party guest.” Lessons in etiquette from Goldie.
“Also I don’t know yet.” Honesty, I can respect that.
 Perfect widdle angel? Is Gideon around? (Two Gravity Fall references. I’m on a roll.)
SERIOUSLY, THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS KID?!
“Hellowen, Llewellyn.” BURN THE CHILD!
I like the Goldie saved Louie from falling in the pool. She’s already attached even if she won’t admit it.
“The only parent I’ve even known.” “Why does he hurt me?” “You know why.” THE FLYING FUCK IS UP WITH THIS FAMILY?!
WHY IS DOOFUS SO UPSETTING?
Wow Goldie, that was harsh.
Percival P. Peppinton. A.) that name is AMAZING B.) digging the Willy Wonka look.
“Hey, I got range!” Johnny is too cute.
The honey bin. Yikes.
Hey, the Beagle Boys are a legit family, even if their mom wasn’t actually there!
Sharkbomb. Just beautiful. I think Glomgold has some issues to work out.
“Super young aunt.”
Digging Mark’s casual outfit.
Boyd is BABY AND MUST BE PROTECTED.
I saw that Goofy Movie reference. And the Flounder hat.
I love that Mark has a phone charm of himself. Sidenote, I miss phone charms.
I wish Glomgold had covered my eyes too. CANNOT UNSEE.
Glomgold’s pics are GREAT. I feel like he’s had those for awhile, just incase.
Quick thinking Louie ftw!
That hug was TOO CUTE. Louie really NAILS affectionate gestures.
Louie is as...photogenic as his Dadnld.
“POOL TIME.” I had the same reaction as everyone else.
Impressed Goldie is impressed.
Oh Glomgold, you keep doing you.
I get you Huey.
“THE DUKE OF DESTRUCTION!” The crew really likes dukes.
A WILD LAUNCHPAD APPEARS.
“I’M THE MASTER OF THE SKY!” I love that the dragon looks like the Sunchaser/Cloudslayer. It’s the little details.
“I’M SURPRISING MYSELF, THIS IS AMAZING!” LAUNCHPAD IS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE HIM.
“What a great life lesson!” Solid parenting. Anyone else want to see Launchpad and Della play this together. I mean, what better way to bond than playing video games together (that aren’t Mario Kart or Smash Bros)?
“WOO, JETPACKS!” SERIOUSLY, the two of them would get along SO WELL.
Doofus confirmed for masochist on top of sadist.
Did the invite say to bring bathing suits? Also, Goldie is looking FINE in that gold one piece.
Glomgold, are you...ok? Do you ALSO have daddy issues?
God I love Goldie and Louie bonding.
Notice how Boyd never touches the water? Love that he keeps the bowtie on. And again, BOYD IS BABY.
Goldie is DUMMY THICC
“The greatest adventure of all-waiting.” Oh sweetie.
Della, you should chill on the whole danger thing.
“Every journey begins with a single step.”That’s much better.
THAT IS WHY I NEVER LET MY GUARD DOWN!
“I SHOULD NEVER TRY ANYTHING NEW!” I feel ya.
HE’S A PINBALL WIZARD!
DO NOT TOUCH MY BABY BOYD!
“Beaks would NEVER miss out on that sweet clickbait.” “Click-what now?”
Aren’t acronyms fun?
“Do you know how many evil robots I’ve face? *nervous laughter* Too many.” OH MY SWEET CHILD!”
POOR BOYD! That legit made me sad. LET HIM BE A REAL BOY!
BUTLER DAD OUT!
“DO NOT PEER behind the curtain of reality, bud.” That’s a great line.
THIS POOR KID IS HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS! HELP HIM!
Butler Dad, noping out again.
Louie looked legit sad about what happened. He’s a good boi.
“I’m gonna need a really big bag of rice.” YOU DON’T DESERVE BOYD.
Money, Money, Money. I’d like to play that game.
LOUIE JUST WANTS SOMEONE HE CAN CONNECT WITH! I’m kind of hoping it ends up being Donald or Della that fills that role for him.
“I swore after last year no one’s EYES WOULD MELT OUT OF THERE HEADS.” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
Et tu, Goldie?
They really are two peas in a pod. I bet she would have ended up giving Louie a cut.
“Hi, I’m BOYD a DEFINITELY real boy, and I’m going to DESTROY YOU.”
“YOU’RE A REAL, SWEET, KIND BOY, I SWEAR!” No arguments here.
Someone is concerned for Louie’s well-being.
THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS CHILD!
I legit want Louie and Boyd to become friends.
Aw Goldie, you DO CARE!
NOT RIGHT.
DELLA LOVES HER BABIES!
“IT’S OVER 9000!” You can NEVER go wrong with a Dragon Ball reference.
SUPER SAIYAN HUEY!
“Well, at least he’s out of his comfort zone.” You might have created a monster there, Della. At least he’s getting out his aggression in a safe and health manner.
Louie could never truly be a conman, he cares about others too much to let them take the fall. And that is noble of him.
Goldie is BRUTAL.
SUPERHERO LANDING!
Louie understands the power of family.
“YOU SENTIMENTAL TOASTER.” Burn?
Yay for Doofus’ parents standing up to him! THAT’S THE POWER OF BOYD!
“I’m...free.” THIS MAN NEEDS THERAPY, STAT.
“YOU’RE IN TOO DEEP.” It’s ALWAYS the quiet ones.
“I’d say you get used to it, but that would be a lie.” The words of a man who has had his heart broken.
LET LOUIE FIND A FRIEND/MENTOR!
THE PHOTOS! GOLDIE DOES HAVE A HEART!
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snarglefoop · 5 years
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The Trouble with 5e (Fit the First)
You've presumably seen the edition wars, and you've heard the complaints. 5e is too dumbed down, 5e characters are too overpowered, 5e druids are ruining my game because they keep summoning herds of elk ... whatever. If they're 2e players they probably complain that 5e is "like a video game". But in my humble opinion, all of that could be summarized as "5e is different from my edition". However, there's actually a deeper problem, which I've encountered in DMing 5e. Interestingly, it's not just a problem; it's also part of the "5e solution". I'm talking about....
Balance
In earlier editions, at first level wizards were total wimps and died like flies, while first level fighters were reasonably tough. At really high levels, fighters got somewhat tougher, but wizards practically became gods. High level characters became capable of dishing out huge amounts of damage per round, and essentially ignoring armor. Trivial case in point: In 3.5, a "straight" cleric might be hardly more than a heal stick at level 1. But by L15 that same cleric could consistently blow through spell resistance, reliably hit most targets' touch ACs, and, if the target failed its save, deliver Harm for 150 points in damage, boom, no damage roll required. In short, the game wasn't balanced. In 5e this was solved with a sledge hammer. Absolutely every decision about game design seems to have been tempered by the question, ''How does this affect the balance?'' Anything that's too strong is called "broken" and ruled out. In fact the result is a very playable game, and the streamlined rules mean you can spend more time playing and less time leafing through books (though at my table we manage to spend a lot of time leafing through books anyway, but that's just us). However there are a number of consequences which are, in my humble opinion, really not so good. I'll be exploring them in my next few posts (unless I see a squirrel and get distracted). And right now, we'll start with the most annoying one, because it crops up instantly, as soon as you run the introductory "Lost Mines" campaign.
NPCs
Adventures tend to be built around powerful, colorful NPCs who do interesting Bad Stuff. So, you need to be able to construct characters like that within the context of the game. Unfortunately, in 5e, as soon as you try you start bumping up against the limits which have been placed on everything. Case in point: There is an evil mage in The Lost Mine of Phandelver (the introductory campaign). He is stated explicitly in the text to have control over 12 zombies. He's a necromancer; that should be a no-brainer, right? Stats for the "evil mage" are given in the book as well. He's a level 4 spellcaster (so far so good); his list of known spells are given along with his stats. I won't repeat them here; I'll just observe that there are no spells for creating or controlling zombies on his spell list. So that's just a glitch, right? Patch up his spell list and you're good to go, right? Wrong. He's fourth level (says so right in the text) and Animate Dead is a third level spell. He can't cast it. I find it disturbing that in the starter set, the introductory campaign, they couldn't think of a way to build their bad guys that didn't involve end running around the rules. First, I think it says something about how restrictive the rules are, and second, I just don't like it. The world should work, according to its own rules. This one doesn't. But, OK, so they cheated a little, right? Let's cut them some slack. They want him to have zombies but they want him low enough level so the party can "take" him if a fight breaks out, so his level is knocked down one notch. No biggie, right? They only cheated a little. If you want everything to be "by the book" just knock him up to L5 so he can cast "Animate Dead", and he's good to go! Wrong. You can't fix it that easily, because Animate Dead, the goto spell for building your zombie army, limits control of the created zombies to 24 hours. After that they're on their own. You can cast the spell again the next day to get control back -- but you can only control four zombies at a time with it. So, to have twelve zombies under his control, he'd need to cast Animate Dead three times every day just to keep them in line. To cast three third level spells a day, he'd need to be at least sixth level and he'd need to burn off all his level three slots every day just to keep his zombies in line. This is really impractical, but the authors wanted a necromancer to have zombies, so they just ignored the rules. Good on them; he's a nifty character, and the adventure is most excellent; I have no beef with that. But bad on the rules. When you scale this up to something a little more epic the problems just get worse. Suppose we wanted a Big Bad who had a "zombie army". How many zombies would that be? More than 12, certainly; that's a zombie platoon, at best. Let's say fifty zombies. How could you control them? That 24 hour limit is lethal; you'd be spending all your time over breakfast, every day, just casting "Animate Dead" to keep your army going. When I ran this, I .... actually it's conceivable that somebody in the game I'm running might read this so I won't say, exactly, beyond saying I stuck a patch on the adventure so the necromancer would work. Again, that should not be necessary; the rules are just too tight. In the name of Balance, the system has been pared down so much that a great deal of the flavor and flexibility has been lost. One more example, then we'll end this comment (and leave further whining for another day): There's a Spectator in the adventure. It's been bound to its current task for about 400 years, by in-game calculations. According to the monster manual, a spectator cannot be bound to a task for more than 101 years. Oh, dear... To get around it this one is said to have "gone mad" and (apparently) lost track of the time. But that kind of escape hatch shouldn't be necessary -- and certainly not in the introductory adventure! Enough for today. -- S.
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get-fcking-reddie · 7 years
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Give You Hell (5/5)
Pairing: Reddie (Main), Stenbrough (Side), Benverly (Side)
Previous Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four
Summary: When Richie Tozier moves into the apartment across from Eddie’s, they nearly start a war. Richie keeps Eddie up at night and Eddie keeps Richie up in the morning. If only they got to know each other, they’d realize they’re actually not that different.
Note: Thank you all so much for your love and support! <3
Inspired by the song Give you Hell by the All-American Rejects
Taglist: @princesschelliebelle, @lolrichie, @breakmyreddieheart, @reddie-to-go, @richietoaster, @i-believe-in, @imakittehkatt, @beepbeeprichiellc, @reddieismygazebo, @donvex, @basic-internet-trash, @aristosachaiov, @bitchardtozier, @richiestoziiers, @officiallyreddie, @ihavesympathyforthedevil, @birdie-greenthumb, @the–sun–and–the–moon, @zoinkstoto, @megelizabethvh, @eternitynurarms, @burymestanding, @finnwqlfhard, @80srichie, @doctor-lobster, @drunkrichietozier, @1picklepup2, @onesmallgeese, @tapetayloe, @exxervescence, @reddieforanything, @phantomkayyy, @allison0609, @jem-carstairs-is-perfection
Eddie never sleeps in. It’s not that he doesn’t want to sleep in, there have been days when he would have gladly given an arm or a leg for a few more hours of sleep, but he always wakes up early and once he is awake there is no turning back. That doesn’t mean he is an early riser though. He loves to stay in bed a little while longer and hear the city come to life. This day was no different except for the fact that he didn’t wake up in his own room.
           Richie was still sleeping next to Eddie or at least that’s what the soft and slow sounds of his breathing suggested. Eddie didn’t turn around to check, because he was too afraid that he would wake Richie and rob him off some desperately needed hours of sleep. So instead he let his eyes wander across the room to try and gain some insight in Richie Tozier.
           Richie’s room looked like a record store and a movie theatre had a baby which was then adopted by someone who sold vintage clothing. The walls were covered in posters from bands, concerts, and movies. Eddie recognized a few of the classic rock bands, but there were a lot of band names and logos that he couldn’t place. Richie appeared to have a preference for the weird and the obscure anyway and the movie posters were mostly from bad horror movies that had gained cult status over the years. Eddie had seen almost all of them because of Bill, and he had to admit that he had developed somehow of a soft spot for B films, At least they had that in common.
           There was a closet opposite the bed which held a record player and was filled to the brim with vinyl. Richie seemed to have sorted them by color instead of alphabetically which was impractical but oddly charming. It meant that he knew the records well enough to find them that way. Eddie imagined that Richie was the kind of prick who’d tell you that you have to listen to the whole album in one sitting to really appreciate the story. He had to admit that, yeah, he was that kind of prick too.
           Next to the closet was a clothing rack that seemed to burst with color. Eddie could already spot several leather jackets full with pins and studs, jean jackets with patches onto them, a neon windbreaker, and several hawaii shirts. He thought it would be nice to see Richie in one of those instead of the black and white band shirts. He imagined him strutting through the streets dressed in colorful, mismatched outfits and making it work through cheer confidence.
            Eddie smiled at the life he imagined Richie lived: a life filled with music; late-night screenings of films; popcorn and midnight pizza; thrift stores and crazy patterns; road trips without destination; shouting you love someone into the night; and jumping off cliffs into the water. In his heart, he already imagined himself doing this with Richie. He imagined a life where he could be proud of who he was, a life of us against the world and winning for a change.
           He thought all this as he pulled the blanket up a little higher and inhaled Richie’s scent. Eddie heard some mumbling behind him and he figured shifting the blanket had woken Richie up. He was about the apologize when he felt an arm sneak around his waist and pull him flush against Richie. Eddie closed his eyes contently when Richie nuzzled his neck and placed soft kisses on his skin.
           “G’morning” Richie’s voice still sounded hoarse and it made Eddie shiver and press up against him a little harder. “Are you cold, babe?” Eddie nodded and let Richie turn him around in his arms so they were now face-to-face. Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie and even one leg as he tried to rub him warm. It made Eddie heat up sure enough as he nested his face in Richie’s chest. He could still smell a hint of last night’s cologne on Richie and inhaled deeply.
           “How long have you been up for?” Richie asked, resting his chin on Eddie’s head.
           “About half an hour.”
           Richie reached for his glasses which were on the nightstand on Eddie side, apologized when he nearly elbowed Eddie in the face, and put them back on. He looked away while he pushed them up his nose, avoiding Eddie’s eyes. Eddie noticed for the first time how thick Richie’s glasses where and he figured his prescription must be pretty bad. It was strangely comforting to think that even a cool guy like Richie had something he was insecure about.
           “Fuck, I forgot how good you look.” Richie said, tangling his fingers in Eddie’s hair.
           “Shut up.” Eddie said, burying his face in Richie’s chest. “My hair is a mess and I probably have the worst morning breath in the world right now.”
           “Don’t worry, Eds, I love the smell of beer and vodka in the morning.” Eddie groaned into Richie’s chest while Richie laughed at his own joke. “I’ll go make us some breakfast and you can do whatever you need to do. You can take my toothbrush and a clean shirt if you like. Mí casa es su casa.”
           With that said, Richie let go off Eddie and left him alone in the cold bed. Eddie watched him walk away and bent over to grab some clothes of a chair. Eddie’s eyes shifted to Richie’s briefs for a moment. He quickly looked away and mentally slapped his wrist. What if Richie had seen him looking at him like that? He would think that he was some kind of pervert, that he was eyeing him up like-…
No, he wouldn’t. The all too familiar train of thought came to a screeching halt. Eddie wondered not for the first time this week, why he was still thinking like this when he really knew better. Richie and he had spent all of last night kissing and had then fallen asleep in each other’s arms. Why would Richie think it was weird if Eddie was attracted to him? At this point, it would be weirder for Richie to find out that Eddie wasn’t attracted to him.
So, Eddie found himself looking back at Richie and the way the thin fabric of his briefs pulled over his pert ass. He gripped the sheets and bit his bottom lip as he looked at him. Of course, that was the moment Richie found a clean enough shirt and turned around. He smirked when he saw the look on Eddie’s face and slapped his ass.
“So, what’s the doctor’s verdict?”
Eddie’s first thought was to lie and pretend that he wasn’t looking, but his second thought persuaded him to keep going. He tried to regain some of the boldness that had gotten him through yesterday night and into this bed.
“I think I need to have a closer look, maybe pull those briefs off.” Eddie said, and he saw a glint in Richie’s eyes as he turned his body towards Eddie a little more. Eddie thought he might have bitten off a little more than he could chew at the moment, so he added a sheepish: “But, maybe some breakfast first.”
Richie smiled and looked away before pulling the shirt over his head. Eddie felt a knot in his stomach at the thought of having lead Richie on for a moment, but Richie seemed to bounce back in no time.
“Let’s get some breakfast for the docteh, stat! Chip-chip off to the kitchen!” He said dramatically in a British accent. Eddie smiled and shook his head as Richie marched off to the kitchen while whistling God Save the Queen.
Eddie got out of bed as well and took one of Richie’s shirts with him to the bathroom. He went through his morning routine as usual: he relieved himself; took a shower; brushed his hair and then his teeth. Richie didn’t own a hair brush so Eddie had to improvise somewhat with his hands. He didn’t get his side-part exactly the way he liked it, but he was at least glad that he had gotten rid off all the product that Beverly put into it.
Eddie changed into the shirt which he had picked out. It was a pink hawaii shirt with yellow flowers that had caught Eddie’s eyes when he was looking around the room. He picked it because it was colorful and seemed large enough to cover his underwear. He appears to have been right. It took him a while to decide whether or not he wanted to button it up all the way or not and eventually he decided to leave it.
He left the bathroom, tugging at the hem of the shirt, and was greeted by the smell of eggs and bacon. His stomach grumbled and he made his way over to Richie a little more greedily than he had intended.
“That smells really good.” Eddie said, very much aware of the fact that he was eyeing their breakfast as if he hadn’t eaten in days. “Do you want me to set the table?”
“Sure, plates are in the top cupboard over there.”
Eddie walked over to the cupboard and had to get on his tiptoes to open it. He didn’t see any plates, however, just mugs and some cups. He looked back at Richie in confusion when he saw the dirty grin on his face and he noticed that his shirt had ridden up and exposed his own briefs.
“You tricked me!” Eddie said and he lightly shoved Richie who just laughed.
“I can’t believe you fell for that.” Richie grinned. “But then again, you’re here with me, so you must fall for stupid things all the time.” Eddie rolled his eyes at the comment, but he couldn’t hide his smile completely.
Richie helped him find plates and cutlery, and they sat down on the couch to eat their breakfast. Richie had made coffee as well which almost looked as good to Eddie as his bacon, almost. After a few comments about the food, they settled into a comfortable silence. It seemed that the only time Richie was able to shut up was when he had food in his mouth.
Eddie looked at his half-eaten smiley face made out of fried eggs and bacon and suddenly he wondered how many people had sat down on this couch next to Richie and done the exact same thing. Richie had been the first guy he had ever kissed, and if this were to go further he would be the first person he ever dated. He was certain that Richie had had other partners before him, so this might not mean that much to him. It would be unfair to put the pressure on him of being Eddie’s first, well, first everything really when he might just be looking for something casual.
“What’s wrong? You don’t like the eggs?” Richie asked. Eddie noticed that he had been staring at his plate with a frown on his face, and he quickly looked up to meet Richie’s eyes. Richie looked genuinely worried even if he was joking about the quality of the breakfast.
“No, they’re great.” Eddie assured him and when he continued speaking he choose his words very carefully. “I’ve just never done this.”
“Eat breakfast? Maybe if you kept the music down, you would have more of an appetite.” Richie joked, but he was bouncing his leg and his eyes were searching Eddie’s.
“You know what I mean…” Eddie said, keeping his eyes fixed on his plate as he stabbed at his breakfast. “I’m… I’m a virgin.”
“You’re kidding? Look at you! I’m sure you have boys and girls lining up around the block to sleep with you.” Richie said, but his smile fell when he saw the pained look on Eddie’s face. “Wow, you really are serious.”
“I know it’s stupid, but I grew up in a small shitty town where being gay would get you your ass kicked or much, much worse. So, I tried really hard to not be gay.”
Eddie look at Richie defiantly, challenging him to laugh at him again, but he didn’t. In fact, Richie said nothing. His leg had stopped bouncing, but his hands were clenching his cutlery so hard that his knuckles turned white. And when he looked back at Richie’s face, he thought he saw a small scar above his lip.
“And then I stopped trying when I met you.”
Richie snapped out of whatever painful memory was holding him prison. His eyes met Eddie’s and he frowned a little.
“You did?”
“Yes, and I know that’s a lot to put on a person and I’m really sorry.” Eddie said and he felt actual tears stinging his eyes. “If you want us to go back to just being neigbors that’s completely understandable. I won’t ever bother you again, I won’t even turn the stereo on.”
“No, I don’t want that.” Richie said, and he put the plates away before pulling Eddie into his arms. “Eds, I don’t care that you’re a virgin, I honestly don’t. I like you. I like that you’re sassy and spunky, and don’t let me get away with my shit. I like your button-ups and your freckles. Hell, I even like your corny taste in music.”
Even though a few tears were making their way down Eddie’s cheeks, hes laughed at that stab at his music taste. Richie held him a little closer and pressed a kiss on his forehead. He rested his chin on Eddie’s head while Eddie buried his face in Richie’s chest and inhaled his scent.
“I’ve never done this either, you know?” Richie said, wetting his lips before continuing. “Or do you think I talk about every cute guy I meet on the radio?”
“I guess not.” Eddie said, wiping the tears from his cheeks with the heel of his hands. His breathing was still a little unsteady, but he had stopping crying for the most part at least. He hated that he was so emotional, but he figured that he had bottled everything up for too long already.
“Definitely not, you’re the one and only, Spaghetti Man.”
“What did you just call me?” Eddie said, wrinkling his nose and he stopped crying in the confusion.
“Spaghetti Man! Like, Eddie Spaghetti, you know?”
“Don’t ever call me that again.”
“Should I stick with Eds or do you hate that too?”
“Definitely hate it.”
Richie threw his head back and laughed, and Eddie found himself smiling at how dumb they were being.
“So, what can I call you then? Baby? Babe? Princess? Lover? Sugar? Honey?” Richie said, punctuating every nickname by pressing kisses across Eddie’s face, before whispering in a low voice. “Daddy?”
“Gross!” Eddie shouted and he shoved Richie, but soon enough they were both laughing again. He felt like all his worries were just rolling off him, and in that moment, he felt invincible. When they were done laughing, Eddie managed to say in a semi-serious voice: “I prefer Eddie, but you can call me anytime.”
“Does that mean I get to take you on a proper date?” Richie asked, tangling his fingers in Eddie’s hair. “Because, the drive-in theatre is showing Grease tonight and I thought that might be perfect.”
“Are you serious?” Eddie asked, shaking his head before giving in with a dramatic sigh. “Fine, after all you are the one that I want.”
Richie gave his best Danny Zuko impression by shouting “Eddie!” in the way that he shouts Sandy’s name, but half of it got lost when Eddie pressed a deep kiss on his lips. Their teeth knocked together and they both laughed against each other’s mouths.
Richie pulled Eddie on his lap, his knees on either side of Richie’s hips, and drew him into a kiss. Eddie licked into Richie’s mouth while he tangled his fingers in Richie’s hair and tugged a little. Richie moaned into the kiss while his hands roamed across Eddie’s back.
Eddie felt a little breathless when they stopped kissing. His lips were still buzzing and his cheeks were flushed. His heart was racing and his blood was flowing elsewhere. He traced the freckles on Richie’s cheeks and tried to memorize every one of them.
Eddie always thought that he knew himself very well: he was someone who liked rules and planning; someone that liked to play it safe; someone who might waste their life on the side-lines. But, that wasn’t who he wanted to be. When he looked at Richie, he knew exactly who he wanted to be. He wanted adventure, romance, and spontaneity, and he only had to reach out to get it.
“I’m so fucking gay.” Eddie sighed, and they kissed again.
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askmicrowaveayem · 7 years
Text
MAYEM: Just Like Me - Pt. 11
[Previous]
[Archive] [Cast]
Gaster hoped that was okay. He really, really did. Trying to ignore his worries he flicked open the window in front of his double’s soul. It would either work, showing the inner workings of his twin’s soul, what it was, it’s state of health and being and who it belonged to, or… well he half expected it to be made up of so much information his whole window would just be a mess of this and that with no discernible stopping or starting point.
--
It was really, mostly, a mess of 0’s and 1’s. But there was some semblance of order to it. There were definitely categories marked, ready to display the composition, ownership, and health status, but only about half of them made much sense. The ownership was clear enough, and the composition flicked into the soul colors that they used to identify traits in humans, but information on the actual substance holding the soul in the shape of a soul, its health, and many of the other stats were simply messes. Any diagrams looked like someone had shifted and overlaid various patterns over it multiple times until it was a scratchy mess.
Still, some of the information was usable enough they might be able to compare it to another subject, and the rest? Maybe it could one day be decoded.
--
It was about as much of a mess as Gaster had been expecting. He sighed through his toothless mouth and pulled out his phone to take a picture before closing the window in front of him. “About what I thought. It’s a mess of too much information. It would need to be decoded.” He turned his phone around for his double to see the picture of the window and the mess of code and diagrams plastered all over it.
--
Gaster nodded, looking it over and sighing. “All right. That’s another project for later, then. Right now we should probably just focus on the ones in front of us, I guess.”
He turned to look at the mess of the lab in front of them again.
“At least this one we can fix, right?”
--
“Right.” Gaster sighed and turned to look back at the lab. After staring at the mess that remained for a moment he looked to his twin once more. “... Now I need to know what mine says.” Curiosity was a bitch.
--
He looked up at his double. “...can you point it at yourself, or does that not work at all?”
..he kind of wanted to know, too, now. Maybe there were similarities?
What would it look like now that the second soul was added to the original?
It would be really, really cool if they could somehow get a look.
--
“I think so.” He said, flicking open another window. His hand hovered on the corner for but a moment before he spun it around to face himself. It twitched before going blank, then being filled with scrolling ones and zeros flying across the screen at such a fast rate it was almost impossible to keep up with. --
“Ah!” He said, startled at the sudden speed the information was taking. “Can you see from your angle, or?!” He said, not sure if the window was always visible to his double or not. Either way, he quickly pulled out the phone he’d been given, but instead of taking a photo, set it to record. There was no way a single photo, or even a series of them, could manage to catch all of this.
--
“Ah what!?” He said in a panic. “No I can’t see shit. What’s it doing!?”
The binary continued on and on and one, never seeming to stop. --
“It’s, uh,” he said. “You’re really going to hate me for saying this. But it’s fucking infinite.”
He kept holding his hand steady, trying to record as much as he possibly could while also keeping his eyes trained on the window, looking to see if maybe he could find a pattern at a glance. But the information was going so fast, that was unlikely.
--
“Oh motherfucker.” Gaster threw up his hands. “I was expecting the opposite. I wonder if your soul has anything to do with that.” --
“That might make sense, but my soul was doing nothing like what yours is doing right now.”
--
He groaned. Could nothing ever be fucking simple? “How much more do you think you should record?” Gaster asked, having no idea what his double was looking at. --
“....I’m honestly not sure. I kind of want to see if it does ever end. But that’s probably really impractical. ...gimme a few more seconds.”
He did finally end the recording and hand the phone over to his double to see what had been happening in the window.
--
Gaster closed it and then took the phone to watch the recording. His expression didn’t change from mild annoyance. “... Fucking really.” He said flatly. --
“Fucking really,” Gaster confirmed. “Now you know why I was freaking out a bit.”
He moved over to watch his double watch the clip. “...yeah, I’m really not sure what to make of it at all, unless maybe your window just. Flipped the fuck out at being turned on itself, kind of?”
--
“Maybe? I mean it’s possible.” Gaster shrugged, “I’ve never flipped it around on myself before.” After the video finished he sighed and handed his twin’s phone back. “Whatever. Like you said, a problem for another time.” --
Gaster nodded and pocketed his phone. “Well. We won’t be bored for a while. I’ll work on your soul, you work on my, and we’ll be each other’s pet projects?”
--
He laughed at that, “Sure, sounds fun.” Gaster rubbed his eyes and turned to look back at the machine again. “But… first things first.” He stood, “I should get back to work. Sooner we get this fixed, sooner you can get home.” --
Gaster nodded. “Yeah... “
He was ready to go now. But at the same time. He was grateful that it was being delayed. And that was awful.
He shook his head. “Still. Take a break and sleep if you need it. You’ve got more energy than me, clearly, but at least I’m taking breaks occasionally.”
--
“Don’t worry, I’ll take a break if I feel I need it.” He smiled, “Or if I don’t feel I need it, but I do, I’ll suddenly pass out somewhere. That’s happened before.” --
Gaster gave him a flat look. “If you fall asleep working with a torch or drill, I’m not saving you.”
--
He threw his hands up to say ‘oh well guess i’m dead again’ and then strolled back towards the machine, leaving his double to either continue working on the wires or take a nap.
--
Gaster shook his head and went back to the wiring system.
He’d get home.
--
Gaster went right back to work. He would work and work and work, the boys eventually coming in the following morning after breakfast and helping once more. They would work throughout the day just like before, then go home. Their father worked another full day and half the night before he started to slow down a little. At one point he sat down to look over his work and his body started to slump, head rolling a bit before he eventually finally drifted off while still sitting up. --
Gaster noticed after about fifteen minutes of wondering why his twin had suddenly paused.
It was about time, though.
He stopped the stopwatch on his phone, decided to tally it up to an approximation, and then got up to haul his twin’s sleeping butt over to the makeshift sleeping area he’d created for himself over the last day.
He set his twin in it without waking him and went back to work.
What a loser.
--
Gaster was out for a solid few hours before waking up with a start. He kicked off the blankets and sat up abruptly, eyes wide as he looked around. Once they found his double he had to ask, “Was I asleep?” He didn’t sound too certain. --
“Out cold,” he nodded, and glanced down at the clock. “For… a full few hours! Go the fuck back to sleep.”
--
Gaster made a few mumbling noises and sunk down a little again. “I really don’t like sleep anymore.” It frightened him. --
That caught his attention. He turned and looked at his twin questioningly. “...because of the void, or?”
--
He shook his head, “Because of losing consciousness. It doesn’t feel the same as it did when I was slipping, but… I don’t like ‘shutting off’. It feels similar enough that I don’t like it.” --
“Ah…” he said, not sure how to respond. “That… makes sense. ..is this the first time you’ve slept since then?”
--
“Yeah.” Gaster folded his arms and leaned against the wall the bed was set up by. He was definitely tired, but… ugh. He rubbed his eyes.
--
“...do you want me to… try and use my magic on your soul while you sleep? It might make you feel better held together?”
It was a pretty silly idea, but… well. If it worked, it’d probably be worth it, right?
His double looked exhausted. After seeing all his boundless enthusiasm before, he didn’t want to see him this tired.
--
It was a pretty silly idea. “I… sure. Why not.” He shrugged, apparently too tired to really argue about it.
--
Gaster nodded, and activated his magic, taking ahold of his twin’s soul as he had many times over the last few weeks. It was much, much easier this time, now that he no longer had to worry about accidentally shattering his soul, but still, he kept the hold tenuous and light.
--
It was… very comforting. After that he found himself slumping down a little more and falling back to sleep. With that ‘hold’ over him he didn’t feel like if he relaxed he would fall to pieces and go unconscious for the last and final time. He would sleep until sunrise.
--
He had to stop working.
After a while of keeping the hold on his twin’s soul, he just didn’t have the concentration to do both. So he stopped, climbed out of his chair, and rested beside him, just focusing on the hum of magic and trying to rest without sleeping for a while.
If this was what it took, it would be worth it. But they’d have to figure out what to do for when he finally left. Because this couldn’t go on forever, even if his double could apparently go almost an entire week without sleeping.
--
Eventually Gaster opened his eyes again. He didn’t wake up startled this time, blinking and looking around to spot his double beside him and feeling the magic still around his soul before sighing. That was nice. But he wondered the same thing, how scary was falling asleep going to be when his twin was gone? “How long was I out?” --
Once his double was fully awake and talking, Gaster blinked blearily and released his magic, sighing as he did. “Uh… most of the night, actually, it looks like,” he said, checking the time again.
“How are you feeling?”
--
“Good. Better. Thanks.” He offered his double a smile. “Sorry if that tired you out.” --
He shook his head. “It’s fine. I recharge easier than you do, apparently.”
Still he yawned.
“Move over. My turn for the bed.”
--
Gaster stood up and moved out of the bed, sure to dramatically cover him up with the blanket and cooing, “Sweet dreams.”
--
“Uuuuuugh,” he said. “How did your sons survive you?”
--
Gaster just laughed and turned away to go right back to work.
The following days would be much the same. Work, work, work more, occasionally pass out for all of five minutes. The boys would come at daybreak and go during the night. Very, very slowly, things were looking better. The lab became cleaner. The parts were replaced. After over a week of solid work by all of them, it was finished. The next few days would be nothing but checks, double checks, and more checks. --
There wasn’t anything he could do during the checking period. He was mostly useful for small repairs, individual parts that didn’t affect the actual time-travel component, and getting his double to sleep consistently.
The next few days would be nothing but waiting.
He spent most of his time on the mountain side, taking in as much of the surface as he could while he was still there.
He had yet to bring up the subject of how his double would sleep once he was gone. He thought maybe they were both a little nervous of the idea of leaving at all.Of him getting home.
Soon, even the checks were finished, and he headed back down into the lab, to wait for a final time.
--
With the final checks done they would be leaving the following morning, first thing. The boys still needed to sleep. This would be Gaster’s last night in his ‘own’ world with his double. Only after the boys were gone did he turn to his counterpart and ask, “So… gameplan is I find your Sans first?”
--
Gaster nodded. “Right. We’ll probably know more once we actually arrive and see the state things are in, but… yeah. Basically.”
--
He nodded and took a deep breath he didn’t need. “Is there anything in particular you want me to say to him?”
--
He looked down and shuffled a bit, thinking. “...that I’m sorry, and I understand if he doesn’t want to see me. Or doesn’t want Papyrus to see me. It’s all his decision. He’s in charge.”
--
Gaster frowned and opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. It might just make his twin feel worse and he truely didn’t want that.
“... Okay.” As alien as the idea felt, he wondered if his Sans would tell him to go away and not come back. But… there was no way. Surely. How could he say that? It sounded impossible.
--
Gaster nodded. “...They’ve figured out a life without me. And he’s been through a lot I always promised I’d never let happen. I…” he huffed, reading at least some of the look on his twin’s face. “...If he’s upset, it’s understandable. They’ve already been through too much.”
He looked over at the machine again. They’d be going in just a few more hours. That was… a lot more imminent than it’d felt all week.
--
“You always have a home here.” Gaster said it before he even thought about the words coming out of his mouth. Even so, he looked very resolved with what he said.
--
He was startled, but smiled a moment later.
“Am I spending the rest of my life eating pineapple for you to record, or am I helping hunt down the anomaly?”
--
He smiled back, “That’s up to you. Hunting is dangerous, but… I won’t make you be the housewife.”
--
“As if I’d let you run out and do stupid things without me,” he said, shaking his head, still smiling.
He wasn’t really sure how to explain to his double how much the promise of a home meant.
So he’d just have to hope his other had an idea. Somehow.
--
He had a little bit of an idea.
“Your boys too. If anything ever happens and you need to bail, just yell. We’ll come get you.” Gaster reached into himself to pull out two communicators, then handed one over to his double. It was small with only a few switches. One flicked on a green light, one a red light, and another was for Morse Code. On the back in wingdings was ‘IDIOT #2’ in marker.
--
He took the communicator, raising his eyebrows, and holding out his hand for the other.
“I just want to check.”
--
Gaster handed his over. “Go ahead.” --
He flipped it on the back to see if there was wingdings on it as well.
--
It read ‘IDIOT #1’ and, in smaller wingdings underneath ‘LEGS’.
--
It was the ‘LEGS’ that did him in.
He snorted, handing the communicator back before doubling over a bit and trying to hold in his laughter. “Did you need to reassure yourself about your legs or something??”
--
“Not all of us can be a prettyboy you know.” Gaster said, trying to sound offended through his stupid grin. He took his communicator back and put it inside himself.
--
“I turned into goo and I’m still wearing an oversized sweater,” he said, still laughing. “I think you need different standards.”
Still, he also stored his own communicator and looked back up at the machine. “...so. Almost there, I guess.
--
“Yep.” Gaster said, turning to the machine. He pulled out his tablet only halfway from his chest just to check the time. “The boys will be here any minute.” Now was his turn to worry. Would his Sans accept him back? What if he didn’t? Would they even be alive? What if they were dead? What if Chara had found them? He closed his eyes tight for a moment and tried not to think about all of those possibilities. His twin would get a happy ending. He deserved to get a happy ending.
--
He nodded. “What should we do until then? ...Want to get a bit more sleep?”
Now would’ve been the time to bring up what was going to happen once he was gone, but… he didn’t.
--
“Nah. They’ll be here in a few minutes I think.” Gaster said. He didn’t want to think what it was going to be like when his double left. His double needed to leave and be with his kids. If he had to suffer a bit for that then it was fine. It would only be 15 minutes or so later that the door opened and Sans and Papyrus stepped into the room.
“TODAY IS THE BIG DAY!” Papyrus grinned, not knowing of any of the fears either of them had. In his mind there was no way a version of himself or Sans would turn him away, even if the younger Papyrus didn’t even know who he was.
--
He turned and smiled at the kids when they arrived, nodding. “Yeah, it is. You both ready?”
He resisted the urge to glance back at his double or grab his hand, because, haha, his heart was absolutely freaking out at that moment. This was it.
--
“OF COURSE!” Papyrus grinned, “EVEN IF WE DON’T GET TO SEE OUR OWN DOUBLES AGAIN I WILL BE HAPPY THAT YOU’RE REUNITED.” Even Sans looked a little happy, or happier than his usual smile implied.
The two climbed into the machine and strapped in. Gaster must have noticed the small amount of body language his double gave off or, perhaps, could feel it somehow in the piece of his soul holding him together, but no matter what the cause was he reached out and took his hand to lead him into the machine as well.
“You can take my seat. I can stand. The harness does fucking nothing for me anyway.”
Or perhaps now maybe it would have. He was more solid than before.
--
“If it does fucking nothing for you, what’ll it do for me?” He said, but still ended up taking the seat. “...we’re both going to end up squished on the wall, aren’t we?”
Somehow, thinking about that calmed his nerves some, maybe because it was really stupid and didn’t involve meeting his kids all over again.
--
Gaster chuckled, “Maybe? Who knows.” He started to punch in the sequence, watching the monitor above the control panel before his hand hovered over the lever. Before he pulled it he looked down at his twin and put a hand on his shoulder. He smiled, “Ready?”
--
“As I’ll ever be,” he said, giving a shaky smile back and holding on to the edges of his seat.
….huh. He hoped he didn’t suddenly burst back into light and sound when they passed through the void. That would be uncomfortable.
Too late now.
--
Gaster squeezed his double’s shoulder before turning and thrusting the lever forward.
They and the machine all jumped, passing through the void before softly landing in the forest outside Snowdin.
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Update & Potentially resuming soon(?)
I recently got a new replacement Rise of the Valkyrie master set, which means that I can now start playtesting the units I’ve converted thus far. However, I also had an idea as of recent. A local game shop I frequent has had a MTG Creature Forge gravity feed for sale for $70 for quite some time. Since it’s sealed and full, it should have a large majority of the 28 different figures. If nothing else, it’ll be a great start, and converting these shouldn’t be too difficult.
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My plan is to use these figures to make Common creatures for AOP. The rulebooks mention Commons, but they were never implemented. Since all the Uniques were based on Creature Spells, I figured it’d make sense to base the Commons on Creature Tokens. Since these figures are also relatively easy to buy online, it should open up plenty of extra fun for AOP players everywhere.
I’ll list any plans I have after the list below the fold. There are 28 different figures, so here’s a rundown for anyone interested:
6 white creatures:
4/4 Angel flying
1/1 Bird flying
5/5 Horse
1/1 Pegasus flying
1/1 Soldier
1/1 Spirit flying
1 blue creature:
2/2 Drake flying
5 black creatures:
5/5 Demon flying
1/1 Faerie Rogue flying
2/2 Pirate menace
1/1 Rat deathtouch
2/2 Zombie
2 red creatures:
5/5 Dragon flying
1/1 Goblin
10 green creatures:
2/2 Bear
3/3 Beast
3/3 Dinosaur trample
*/* Ooze
0/1 Plant
1/1 Saproling
1/1 Snake
1/2 Spider reach
2/2 Wolf
5/5 Wurm
1 gold (mixed) creature:
1/1 red/blue Insect flying, haste
3 colorless figures:
3/3 Golem (Artifact Creature)
1/1 Sliver (Creature)
Treasure (Artifact)
I’m planning to make a majority (if not all) Common Creatures have only 1 life, but I may instead opt for this to only apply to Common Squad Creatures to balance out their numbers. I want to avoid the need for too many damage markers with just how many commons you could potentially stuff onto a field.
As for Power/Toughness, I want to carry those over directly, but I’m not sure how well that’s going to go. I’ll probably have to see what the average number of figures/gravity feed is for each Token. This will influence my decision for the figures/card. Right now, I’m thinking common = 3-figure squad, uncommon = 2-figure squad, and rare = hero creature (based on their rarity, not their uniqueness). This will also help determine cost and PPF cost. Movement and Range will likely be the most difficult. Height is the easiest, since it’s based on the physical height of the figure (height # = levels of terrain tile figure occupies).
For menace, I’ll have to look at what the ability does to translate it into AOP. As for reach, I think the most sensible thing is to allow reach to ignore flying when making opportunity attacks, meaning that figures with flying will still have to disengage if they’re adjacent to a figure with reach. This should allow the most logical transition from the the TCG to AOP, and with the fact that 2 of the 3 options for green Planeswalkers are dual-color, this allows red and blue to also have access through Kiora and Arlinn. Since a lot of flying is with white and black, this should balance well.
With deathtouch, I’m thinking it would work best as an ability that gives the target -1 Toughness when attacked by a creature with deathtouch. I’ll have to play around with it and see if allowing this to stack is too overpowered, as I dread bringing about the next “Zergling rush” meta. More than likely it will not stack, since many of these Tokens only have 1 Toughness to begin with.
As for the Ooze and its “*/*” P/T, if I go with the figures/card method above, they’d be 2 Oozes per army card. This works well with my idea, where their P/T is equal to the number of ally Oozes adjacent to it. Thematically, this means they all are merging into a really big Ooze that can split apart freely. Of course, anything in the center of a horde can’t really attack, but can give bonuses to all surrounding Oozes. This works well with green’s focus on growth and pack tactics, and still offers plenty of limitations. Only 2 Oozes can be activated in a turn, since they’d be 2 per army card. This means that moving a large congregation of Oozes would be slow and impractical. They’d mostly serve as a zone-of-control hazard, and they become weaker as more of them die, making them only as strong as they can stay whole.
Finally, for the Treasure artifact, it would have either an army card or, much like the cryptoliths, a section for their rules as an object. I think giving them a card is the easiest thing to do, but they could still have special rules as “objectives” for custom scenarios. My thought is for the Treasure to let you replenish 1 spell card from your graveyard upon using it. It could also have a d20 roll feature where rolling a 1 causes you to take damage (trapped), and rolling a 20 lets you get 2 spells back rather than 1 (rich treasure).
The rest of these tokens are either plain or have abilities that have already been converted to AOP officially (flying, trample, and haste). Thus, they don’t need anything particularly special beyond basic stat tweaks. I’ll also be using the same card templates I made before in order to make proper army cards for these. I’ll also scan the artwork for the token card (I believe they come with one in each corresponding pack) and use that for the army cards’ art, thus keeping them consistent and looking right at home with the rest of your AOP collection.
Thankfully, this will add some much needed variety to both green and black. Red and especially blue won’t get much, but red doesn’t need further variety than the dragon and goblin, and blue is so focused on control that rush tactics aren’t very helpful. The drakes will offer more of an “emergency button” by being decent fliers who can zip around and aid an important figure who’s being chased, forcing the pursuer to disengage in order to avoid being attacked in their efforts. White will have a few options, which is good with its focus on armies and defense. The only issue I foresee is that - and this sounds weird - the Pegasus and the Bird are exactly the same. Uncommon white 1/1 with flying. I think I’ll mix this up by giving the Bird only 1 Life/figure with much more Movement, while making the Pegasus slower but healthier. I’ll do the same for the Wolf and Bear respectively. There will be plenty to do, but I’m excited to see how this goes.
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asforetold · 7 years
Text
RPG Recommendation: Apocalypse World
If you like the idea of exploring a dead world that feels alive in ways most living worlds can only dream of, if you feel like playing a stone-cold badass from the very first session and only getting stronger and more fascinating from there, if you want to use roleplaying to tell an honest-to-goodness story... this may well be the game for you.
Apocalypse World is an award-winning, post-apocalyptic indie RPG created by D. Vincent Baker, and it’s one of my favourite games of all time. After the jump, I’m going to tell you why.
Iconoclasm
I once saw someone describe Apocalypse World as an indie storygame built almost entirely out of components from traditional RPGs, and I think there’s a lot of truth in that. When you take it apart mechanically, it’s got a lot of the same features (roll dice plus a stat to do things, damage and health handled as numbers, and so on), but it goes on to throw a lot of the supporting traditions and norms out of the window.
Apocalypse World’s Game Master is styled as the MC, and that’s an incredibly appropriate moniker. This is a game that tells you loudly and repeatedly (in all-caps at one point) not to pre-plan a story or a world. It’s a game that explicitly frames roleplaying as a conversation and a cooperative rather than competitive exercise with your players, and that tells you that your agenda should be built around “playing to find out what happens”. It looks at a lot of the principles of conventional RPGs, and tells them, in no uncertain terms, to go fuck themselves.
Mastering Apocalypse World is far more about wits and improvisation than it is about careful, measured preparation, and being just as willing to be surprised by how it all pans out as your players are. This game is carefully designed to produce entertaining stories in a way that feels completely organic, and the end result is brutal, raw, unexpected, and fantastic.
Simplicity
Apocalypse World is extremely straightforward to set up and play. For a start, every single game-relevant action is handled using the same mechanic: roll 2d6 plus a modifier. 10+ is a really strong success, 7-9 is just a regular success, and 6 or less is a miss. The modifier will almost always be one of your five character stats, which are expressed as simple pluses or minuses.
The game also gives you an extremely robust framework of moves to handle almost any gameplay action. A move is a set of rules for doing a specific thing - it might begin “When you do something under fire...”, and then it’ll explain what you add to your roll and what happens for each possible outcome. The “basic moves”, which cover more or less everything you’ll want to do outside combat, trade, and a few other special actions related to psychic malarkey, fit on a single A4 sheet. The “battle moves”, which are the main options you have during combat, fit on another. That’s all the generic stuff - the special abilities that make your character really stand out are found in your playbook.
A playbook is Apocalypse World’s equivalent of a character class. It’s a neat little one-sheet dossier that covers your stats, your special moves, gear, appearance and some rules reminders, and it’s a thing of beauty. Creating a character is as simple as picking from a series of menus, for everything from name to appearance to the gear, followers and holdings you start with. That may sound restrictive, but the options are usually broad and allow a lot of room for player interpretation or adjustment. Playbooks can’t be duplicated between players, so they ensure that everyone has a niche to fill. Character creation also includes setting up some initial relationships with the rest of the group, and forces you to think a little about what kind of person your character is - it’s an instant characterization exercise that ensures that everyone starts with some depth.
Player Agency
I’ve never seen a game that gives its players quite as much power as Apocalypse World. This isn’t just about character power, though that’s certainly a factor - it’s perfectly legal to create a starting character who runs a small town, leads a biker gang or cult, or drives a fucking tank. (No, really.) It’s about players having a big, real impact on the world and the story, and being able to shape things to their own preferences.
When you roll high in Apocalypse World, instead of a flat power upgrade, you usually get more control over what happens. For instance, when you’re in combat and choose to seize something by force (which can include your target’s life), if you can choose to ensure you get control of the thing, inflict more harm, suffer less harm, and/or awe your enemy - but the strength of your roll indicates how many of these things you can pick. Similarly, when you try to read a charged situation, you can ask the MC more questions about what’s going on with a high roll.
Even if you fail, though, you’re rarely without choices. A lot of moves give you a small benefit even on a miss, or let you choose between not getting what you want or getting it at a serious cost to yourself. And it goes even deeper than that: players are actively encouraged to pitch in with worldbuilding and development of character-relevant NPCs. To top it all off, almost every playbook gives a player something they can customize, improve, and call their own, whether it’s the driver’s custom car, the battlebabe’s custom weapons, or the chopper’s savage biker gang.
Player Interaction
The best thing about Apocalypse World’s attitude towards its players, however, is that it incorporates a strong mechanical incentive: the Hx stat. Hx stands for History, and you have a Hx stat for every other player character in the group representing your relationship with that character. Hx ratings represent closeness or distance rather than good or bad relations - you get the same Hx modifier when someone causes you harm as you do when someone heals you. It also doesn’t have to be symmetrical. You can feel very close to somebody who thinks of themselves as distant from you and vice-versa.
You use Hx as a roll modifier instead of the other stats whenever you try to help or hinder another character, but the real kicker is that Hx is also one of only two ways to advance your character. Every time your Hx with another character reaches a certain threshold, either positive or negative, you reset it to a neutral value and gain an experience point. Five experience points equal an advance, which lets you increase your stats, learn new moves, or, at high levels of play, even change playbook or create a second character.
Barring certain moves, there’s only one other way to gain experience: rolling with highlighted stats. Of your five stats, two are designated as “interesting”, in that they’re powerful catalysts for storytelling, and you gain experience whenever you make a roll involving one - but you don’t get to choose them. The MC picks one, and the player with whom you have the highest Hx at character creation picks the other. You can ask for your highlighted stats to be changed at the start of any game session, but it’s always someone else making the call.
Thus, your only two reliable methods of improving your character are directly tied to your interactions with the other players. This is easily my favourite thing about Apocalypse World.
Sex
Apocalypse World is the only RPG I’ve ever seen that handles sex in a reasonably mature way. The game is somewhat notorious for its “sex moves”, and I wouldn’t be surprised if my initial description puts you off a bit, but do bear with me. Basically, each playbook has a specific mechanical thing, the “special”, that happens whenever your character has sex with another character. Sometimes that applies to anyone, but in other cases it only works with other player characters.
The important thing here is that the sex moves aren’t really about the actual sex. They’re about what happens afterwards, when you look over at your lover lying beside you and wonder where the hell you’re meant to go from here. They’re also extremely flavourful. The gunlugger gets a bonus to their next roll after having sex - it gets them fired up - and they can give that bonus to their partner too if they want. The driver’s sex move can open up whole subplots: they have to roll to see if they can keep a healthy distance, and, if they can’t, they suffer penalties until they can prove their partner doesn’t own them (what that means is up to you and the MC). Perhaps most intriguingly, the savvyhead gets to use their object reading ability, which usually only works on inanimate pieces of technology, on their lover.
With all that in mind, these moves aren’t integral to the system by any means, and you could just as easily play without them if your players are younger or it’s not a topic you’re comfortable bringing into the game.
Other Perks
This rulebook is legitimately fun to read. The prose is liberally peppered with quips and profanity, but still manages to be extremely clear and lucid.
When you choose your character’s gender, there are explicitly options for “ambiguous”, “transgressing” or “concealed” gender presentations as well as binary male and female options. It’s a small thing, but it made me smile.
The game’s very light on specialist equipment - you just need 2d6 and a lot of paper and pencils.
Apocalypse World is built from the ground up to be very easy to hack, and D. Vincent Baker actively encourages people to twist the rules to fit whole new settings. There are a few other “Powered by the Apocalypse” games extant already, including Avery McDaldno’s paranormal teen drama hack Monsterhearts, Michael Sands’ investigative horror hack Monster of the Week, and Sage LaTorra and Adam Koebel’s Dungeon World, an attempt to port old-school D&D to the engine (which I think kind of defeats the point, but that’s just me).
Caveats
Apocalypse World’s improvisational ethos makes long-term planning impractical, so if you like the idea of mapping out a story in advance, it’s probably not right for you.
The focus on character development and arcs necessitate a slow burn - even the author acknowledges that Apocalypse World doesn’t usually get really good until around session six. This makes it rather unsuited to one-shot games.
There’s a lot of violence and gore, a lot of sex, and one hell of a lot of swearing, and at times it does feel a little bit gratuitous.
The radical approach Apocalypse World takes to roleplaying and storytelling can come across as preachy, and certainly won’t suit every gaming group.
Conclusion
I first read Apocalypse World at a time when I was immersed very heavily in D&D-alikes, and it was an incredible breath of fresh air. If I had to recommend one game to demonstrate how you do a narrativist game right... well, Fate would certainly be up there, but I think this game edges it out. It’s not for everyone, and it needs time to get going properly - but, once you’re in high gear, it might just be one of the most memorable things you ever play.
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