Deidara, speaking out-loud in the living room: Uchiha. Let’s go on a date.
Itachi and Tobi, answering at the same time: Okay, where?
Deidara:
Itachi:
Tobi: I … I mean … w-where are you and Itachi going? B-because HE’S the only Uchiha here. Yep. Nobody else. Sharingan? What’s that?
Deidara:
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oranges comic. im tired so youre going to just have to figure out the order on your own
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*at a bar*
Hidan: Damn, blondie, slow down, will ya? Ya know your gay little body can’t handle that much booze!
Deidara, downing his 6th shot: Fuck off, Hidan. Oi, Oi, hey though, hey, Uchiha?
Itachi, sitting next to him: Yeah?
Deidara: Me and you. When we gonna bang?
Hidan, to bartender: No more for him, please. He’s way too drunk.
Deidara: Not drunk. Itachi is fucking hot. You don’t see it?
Hidan: You —
Itachi: It’s okay, Hidan. Even if he hadn’t had those drinks he’d still be saying this. He does every Thursday. He says it’s normal to have one day a week where you hit on the people you “hate”.
Hidan: And that shit don’t bother you?
Itachi: No. Why would it? I never hated Deidara. He knows that. And truth be told … I think he’s very attractive, too.
Hidan: What the fuck? If ya both actually like each other, then why don’t ya just fuckin’ date??
Deidara: What? And ruin my “I hate Uchihas” aesthetic? C’mon Hidan, get real, hm!
Itachi: And I’ve gone too far with my “I subtly think I’m better than everyone else in the Akatsuki and wouldn’t stoop so low as to date anyone in it, much less an immature brat like Deidara” persona.
Deidara: *puts his arm around Itachi* So I’ll just keep hitting on him on Thursday’s and the rest of the week pretend I hate his guts.
Itachi: And I’ll pretend to ignore the flirtation and act like it doesn’t bother me that true happiness and love could be so close within my grasp.
Deidara: *raises up his seventh shot glass* To Thursdays!
Itachi: *clinks his beer to Deidara’s glass* To Thursdays.
*the two down their drinks and then start to sloppily make out*
Hidan:
Hidan, getting out his cellphone: Oi, ‘Kuzu? Can you come pick me up? I’m … I’m scared …
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