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alj4890 · 4 years

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Love/Angst Prompt

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda) as requested by many for the twins birth.

(Thomas x Amanda) from the storyline of And Then I Met You

A/N: Here's the end to this three part look. We've had it all with this couple during the pregnancy: joy at discovering they were having twins, sweetness with Kathleen, fear, angst, and now we have the birth.

Masterlist

@lxaah11 @alleksa16 @penguininapinktuxedo @blackcoffee85 @stopforamoment @hopefulmoonobject @krsnlove @annekebbphotography @cora-nova @hopelessromantic1352 . @sunflowergirl05 @desiree---1986 @greywitchyshots @lilyofchoices @emceesynonymroll @dr-nancy-house @aworldoffandoms @ab1901 @lolablackwrites @flyawayboo @i-bloody-love-drake-walker . @trappedinfandoms @kate-mckenzie

Catch up Part 1, Part 2

The Unexpected: Part 3

"We'll be fine." Maxwell insisted. "Go and enjoy breakfast with Kat." He placed a hand on Amanda's shoulder. "Unlike Liv, I'll panic and call you immediately if something happens."

Amanda narrowed her eyes at Maxwell. He met her gaze and shrugged. "You can't convince me otherwise when it comes to something like this that is so far out of my comfort zone."

She made a slight frustrated sound and focused on her husband. "You should get going."

"Will you give us a moment, Maxwell?" Thomas asked.

"Sure thing." He smiled at them both and left the room.

"You're not allowed access to your phone." Thomas began.

"What?!" Amanda's jaw dropped when he moved it from her bedside table and plugged it over across the room. "I am not some little girl who--"

"The only reason I am leaving is because I can trust Maxwell." His expression hardened. "After the stunt you pulled with Olivia--"

"I apologized and explained my reasons. Many times this past week." She snapped. "You need to--"

"You have yet to earn my trust back when it comes to your health." He interrupted. "I do not hold it against you, since you were somehow under the delusion that it was better to leave me in the dark." He pressed a kiss to her creased brow. "I am merely removing the temptation away from you trying not to interrupt my having breakfast at the palace with Kathleen."

Amanda grumbled about being treated like a child.

He tilted her face up and coaxed a kiss from her. "I'll be back in a couple of hours." He tenderly caressed her cheek. "Be good for all our sakes."

A laugh escaped her lips. "It's not me. It's our troublemakers."

He smiled and kissed her once more. "Only five more days left until we can scold them properly for this." His humor dimmed. "I know you feel uncomfortable. Is anything else bothering you?"

She shook her head. "That is pretty much it other than the occasional twinge from babies bouncing around on my bladder. And of course being so tired." She squeezed his hand. "Go on. Kathleen was so excited when you said you would be there for breakfast."

Maxwell knocked on the door and poked his head in. "Is it safe to come back?"

Thomas kissed her while whispering his love for her and said goodbye to the two of them.

"See you soon." She promised.

Maxwell took over the chair next to her bed. "So? What kind of trouble should we get into?"

She laughed and shook her head at the thought.

*************

"Daddy!" Kathleen ran over to Thomas when he walked into the dining room.

"Good morning." He kissed the top of her head. He greeted the royal family and took a seat beside his daughter.

"How's Amanda this morning?" Riley asked.

"The end is approaching, making her more anxious, but other than that she has been handling everything well." He answered while he helped Kathleen cut her waffle.

"Who's with her?" Liam asked.

"Maxwell." Thomas said with a rueful grimace. "Out of everyone, he’s the only one who won't listen to Amanda when something happens out of his control."

*************

An hour later...

"Maxwell?" Amanda struggled up. "I need some help with--"

"I'M CALLING THOMAS!!" He shouted, backing away from her.

"Stop! I need help out of bed." She yelled back. "I have to go to the bathroom."

"Oh." He put his phone back in his pocket. "Here we go." He helped her stand up. "You good?"

"Just a little light headed." She mumbled. "You pull me up much faster than everyone else." She grabbed her IV stand while he unplugged it.

"You want to cruise the hallways or go outside when you're done?" He called out when she shut the door. "I can find us a wheelchair."

"I don't think I'll be able too." She called back.

A few moments later she weakly walked back to her bed. "Max."

"Hmm?" He looked up and noticed how pale she was turning. Her lips were tinged gray "Amanda? What--"

She slumped sideways on the bed. "Call for the nurse. The bleeding...is...so much... worse." Her voice trailed off.

He looked down at the thin streams of blood trailing down her legs and ran out of the room, yelling for a nurse.

*************

Thomas chuckled at the story Emerick, Kathleen, and Ellis were telling him when he felt his phone vibrate. He quickly answered it while standing.

"Maxwell? What's--"

"The hemorrhaging became worse." Maxwell interrupted. "Dr. Vasco rushed her into surgery. He said they can't wait any longer."

"I'm on my way." Thomas said. He turned to the anxious group at the table. "The doctor is operating now."

Kathleen lowered her head as her tears built.

Thomas tried to comfort her. "I'm going to go see how she is." He held her tight when she threw her arms around his waist.

"Can I go?" She pleaded. "Please."

Thomas hesistated. If his worst fears came about, he didn't want Kathleen to suffer with waiting and then the news that one, two, or possibly all three were gone.

Liam and Riley stood up. "We'll all go." He called out for Bastien and made travel arrangements. Riley sent out a group text to everyone else.

"Us too?" Emerick asked.

"Yes." Riley decided "You two can help keep Kat company while we wait."

"I need to go." Thomas told them. Kathleen gripped his hand. "We'll see you there."

************

Two hours later...

Being a part of nobility had its benefits. With the press taking note of the sudden activity at the palace and hospital, reporters flocked to the waiting room in the hopes of getting an exclusive. The medical staff destroyed that notion and had a private waiting area that the group was put in.

Thomas paced back and forth before the door. His mind went from one outcome to this nightmare to another. His fear grew with each minute that passed with no news. The thought of hearing he had lost his wife made every moment one of acute agony.

Kathleen was sitting beside. She leaned her head against the duchess's side, wishing she had her mother holding her.

Olivia's face was pale as she wrapped her arm around the little girl. Her own past came back to haunt her with memories of being Kathleen's age when she lost her parents. She thought of the night Liam had found her crying while holding her mother's dress. Knowing that something similar could happen to the little girl next to her made her heart break.

Drake stood against the wall beside them and gently laid a hand on Olivia's shoulder. He knew what was going through her mind, the fears she rarely gave words to. His eyes touched on their two children, Jackson and Juliet, for once sitting quietly. He then observed the darkening frown growing on Thomas's face the longer they were stuck here with no word. He sympathized with him, knowing he would be the same if it were his wife so near to death's door. Drake couldn't stand the thought of seeing his two without their fierce mother.

Liam's jaw spasmed as he tried to hold onto his patience. His own childhood memories with his mother's murder were tormenting him. He didn't know how they would be able to help Thomas, Kathleen, and possibly two newborns heal from what might happen. He knew firsthand that nothing they could do would ever make things right.

Riley reached over and took his hand. She smiled softly at his fingers gripping hers, simultaneously giving and taking the comfort they both needed in this hour of uncertainty.

Maxwell paced on the other side of the room, unable to sit still. He didn't think he would ever get the image out of his head of his best friend fainting and bleeding. Somehow he had a calmness settle over him after it happened and he had gotten a nurse. This waiting though, he couldn't stand it. It reminded him of when his mother died. Maxwell and Bertrand had been shut away in a private waiting room, hoping for hours that a miracle would occur. He rubbed the spot on his chest where the tattoo in memory of her resided and focused on thinking more positive about this situation. Any moment now, they would hear--

Nadia jumped in her spot by the waiting room phone. The shrill ringing cut through the prevailing silence and made everyone freeze. When Thomas seemed to be immobile, she braced herself and lifted the receiver.

"Hello?" Her voice cracked. She lowered her eyes to see the little dimpled hand of her daughter's slipping into her own. Mia looked up at her, trying in her own way to comfort her mother. Xavier came closer too, as if sensing his mom needed support. Maxwell felt his heart tweak at his family leaning on one another during this trial.

"Yes, he's here." She held the receiver out toward Thomas. "It's one of the nurses."

He forced himself forward. He took a deep breath and lifted the phone to his ear.

"This is Amanda's husband." He choked out.

*************

An hour later...

"Don't make me laugh." Amanda, pressing a bed pillow to her abdomen, pleaded to everyone. "I really don't want my stomach to burst open."

"Again?" Maxwell teased.

She groaned at his joke and cuddled a giggling Kathleen closer. "I would prefer to never relive that moment again."

Joy and tears of relief had flooded the private waiting room when Thomas had been given the news that all three were doing well. Dr. Vasco had been able to operate before circumstances turned critical for Amanda. Their many prayers for the nightmare to end had been answered.

Thomas relinquished Elizabeth to a demanding Olivia and took a fussy Ian from Nadia and Riley. He gently swayed with him in his arms, smiling at the creased brow and slight frown forming around his pacifier. It seemed his son didn’t care for being the center of attention anymore than he did.

Drake leaned down to get a closer look at Elizabeth. "I think she's going to end up looking like Kat."

"I thought the same." Thomas added, smiling at his daughter's new interest in her baby sister. "She'll be a minature version of her."

"I think Ian will take after you." Amanda said, watching with happiness as her husband cuddled the bundle in his arms.

"I think he might." Thomas replied, fighting against too proud of a smile.

Kathleen and the other children went back and forth looking at the babies and then talked Maxwell and Nadia into taking them outside to the courtyard to play.

"How are you feeling?" Liam asked quietly while sitting in a chair near Amanda.

"Sore." She whispered. Her smile dimmed. "I didn't think I would survive when the bleeding began again."

"But you did." He said firmly. "And the twins are perfectly healthy. That's all that matters."

"A miracle." She whispered, smiling at Olivia and Drake arguing over who Ian looked like while Riley stole a chance to hold Elizabeth again. "That's the only way to explain it."

************

That night, Thomas placed the sleeping infants back in their shared bed.

"We have about two hours before the next round of diapers and feeding." Amanda whispered with a sleepy smile.

He sat down beside her on the bed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Now that they were finally alone, he was able to come to terms with all that had happened.

"Thomas?" She whispered when she noticed how serious he looked.

He cupped her cheek and kissed her in a long, tender fashion. He pressed his forehead against hers and softly breathed the words thank you.

"For what?" She asked.

"For them. For Kathleen. For nearly a decade of putting up with my grumbling and stubborn ways." He ran the back of his fingers down her cheek. "For working so hard to bring my children into the world." He swallowed at the emotion building. "For loving me and staying alive for my sake."

She pressed another kiss to his lips, brushing her fingers across his stubbled jaw. "I could thank you for the same things." Her teasing smile formed against his lips. "Except for the grumbling."

He smiled softly. "I love you with all my heart, Amanda. All that I am is and has been yours from the moment we met."

She tugged him closer to her. "I love you just as much and have since you took my hand to reassure me when we first met."

He glanced over at one of the twins moving and letting out little cries. He got up and checked on which one was upset. He softly shushed his daughter while lifting her in his arms.

Thomas thought back to the time before meeting Amanda. He had been so satisfied in a life where all his passions had been poured out into his film projects. He didn't think he was the kind of man to marry and have a family. He thought he had all he needed to have a productive, fulfilled life.

He felt a great deal of sympathy for his misguided former self. This was what now fueled his existence. This was what had allowed him to experience true happiness. His wife had opened his eyes more than once to what life had to offer. He stood there, gazing upon the two new pieces of his heart, and knew how blessed he truly was.

How could he not when he had been given everything?

#thomas hunt #thomas hunt x amanda #rcd thomas hunt #choices thomas hunt #thomas hunt x oc

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thewritingstar · 5 years

Note

Here we go again 1-40 😂🙃

hhah 1-40? Nah im doing 1-45!!! I aint backing down.

B E T!

enjoy

1. Do you read fic? Do you write fic?

-I do both obvi

2. Favorite genre of fic?

-Angst and fluff

3. Favorite fandom?

-This is hard because i am in alot..... Fairy tail, My Hero, Ducktales, Star vs Forces, Gotham, etc

4. Favorite pairing?

-Gruvia and Kiribaku

5. Favorite fic author?

- oh shit thats alot. I have already made posts about tagging people so I love all of them.

6. Favorite fic (or one of them)?

-My fav fic is prob...um..um.ummmmmmmmmmm tooooo many but for now....

7. One-shots or longfic?

-I love both. Sometimes a oneshot is all you need but Ive started getting into long fics

8. Do you read WIPs?

-yep!

9. What is the longest fic you’ve read?

-oof um maybe one that was 25 chaps? I know ive read a wattpad story that was like 50+ and still going.

10. Favorite trope/element/scenario in fic?

-Soulmate aus get me or the fake dating

11. Least favorite trope/element/scenario?

-hmm idk

12. What turns you away the most from a fic?

-if its nasty like pedo and shit like that i wont read it. I really hate reading about self harm too.

Angst:

13. Has a fic ever made you cry?

-Yes, its kinda hard to make me cry but there has been a few. Oh @thewritingorchid one of his fics made me cry hella hard and im still mad about it.

14. What tropes/elements/scenarios get you the worst?

-oof maybe when the other is holding their dying partner

15. Do you mind when characters cry?

-No not at all. I love making my charcters cry

16. How do you feel about character death in fic?

-Hate watching them die but ya know

17. Any characters who you can’t stand to see in pain?

-hmmm I hate seeing my favs in pain but also i do

18. Favorite angst fic?

-too many to post

Porn: i prefer the term Smut

19. Do you read porn or does it make you uncomfortable?

-we love a good smut novel

20. Do you like PWPs?

-idk what that means and im not gonna google it lol

21. How and when did you get introduced to smut fic? Any horror stories?

-hmm it was prob when i was reading a fic that had a scene and i was like why not? and yeah we here now

22. Biggest turn-ons in fic?

- when they be fluffy before the bang bang

23. Biggest turn-offs in fic?

- no consent or forcing them into it

24. Do you have any dirty kinks that you’re ashamed of?

-yeah reading it lol

25. Any kinks that you’d love to try in real life?

- ill let you know once i get into a real relationship...so like 20 yrs

26. Any kinks that you don’t want to try in real life (but are still hot in a fanfic)?

-^^^^^^^

27. Rough sex or gentle sex?

-either in the fic

28. How do you feel about masturbation in fic?

-it fine

29. How do you feel about non-con and dub-con?

-..idk what that really is

30. Favorite porn fic?

-anything written by @bakugou-loving-hours

AU:

31. Do you read AUs?

-YES

32. Favorite AU tropes?

-soulmate aus, fanstay aus, modern

33. Least favorite AU tropes?

-not a huge fan of military

34. Do you like UAs (universe-alterations, when the main universe and characters are the same but one plot point/decision/outcome is altered)?

-oooh ye but i havent read any yet. At least i dont think

35. Do you like high school and college AUs?

-lol im writing one

36. Do you like crossovers? If so, favorite crossover?

-hmm havent read any crossovers but id be down maybe

37. How do you feel about parent!fics/lovechildren? How about mpreg?

-love them!!! Im sorry is that when the guy is pregnant? Do people right those? Of course they do

38. How do you feel about genderbending? De-aging? Animalizing?

-hmm ive seen a ton of animal ones but i havent read any genderbent ones. As for de-aging if its them as kids sure why not

39. Favorite AU fic?

Fluff:

40. Do you like fluff?

-yesssssss

41. Favorite fluffy tropes?

-soft fluff or when they havent seen each other in a while

42. Least favorite fluffy tropes?

-hmm havent read any i didnt like

43. Do you like fluff on its own or in conjunction with other elements (angst, sex, etc.)

-i like it alone and mixed

44. How fluffy is too fluffy?

-nothing is too fluffy

45. Favorite fluff fic?

-ohhh there are too many. Litrally anything written by anyone Ive mention before

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grigio-bone · 5 years

Text

personal lupat thoughts

under the cut

i think that one of the reasons that people are getting frustrated with it isnt necessarily that the story is bad, its that the setup and outcomes of the show have this kind of... slight disconnect? or rather, not a disconnect- its as if the show itself can’t figure out if its going to be lighthearted or serious til the end, when its too late to give a satisfying conclusion either way.

its absolutely fine if lupat is a show with light plot. shows like that have been some of my favorites. but i feel as if frustration is inevitable and understandable when the show keeps hinting that things are happening and either never follows up or follows up far too late to allow for a nuanced exploration. for example, noel not being human was hinted at as early as ep 28, when tsukasa wonders why noel wouldn’t use the vs vehicle that he he made himself, and seemed intent on making the other rangers use it. but by the time the big reveal rolls around, who remembers this? mysteries are fine, but if theyre dragged out for so long that viewers have started to forget there was a mystery in the first place that... kinda makes me sad. if lupats going to be a show with a light plot!!! thats perfectly fine, just make sure to resolve the plot points at the core of your story and stop teasing things that wont get resolved for like more than a dozen episodes?

on that note, theres also this... hm. the worldbuilding in lupat is incredibly weak. theres very little sense that this is an actual world that has people living in it and ive got a zillion questions about everything. why is france hq in france?? what about the lupin collection black market trade that canonically exists? whats public opinion like on literally every aspect of the conflict thats happening? actually i could seriously go on for like hours about this so ill cut it short: basically, i think that the fact that there are hardly any reoccurring or tertiary cast members and the fact that hilltop + jim carter + kogure are vastly underutilized puts all of the focus on the rangers themselves, which is nice but also leaves them stranded in a world not quite real

one last thing. i think that lupat tends to take the cheap way out of things. not in terms of effects or whatever, just that it seems intent on distracting viewers from the fact that it didn’t offer us a solidly emotional conclusion to some arcs? ok this is gonna be controversial so im going to add another disclaimer here that i did think that it was cool that the lupins loved ones became thieves in turn to rescue them, etc, it was a really sweet reunion, they look fantastic in those outfits, i did cry a little bit. however. lets take the finale piece by piece

1) patoranger side. their big speech in the final episode was about how they had to protect the world from a bloodthirsty monster like dogranio, because he made people suffer (people that the patos had failed to protect). ultimately, at the end keiichiro is offered a choice: he can kill dogranio at the cost of knowing that he would be killing 3 people that he knows and loves. we dont get to see what happened to dogranio right away, but the show lets us think for like 5 min that keiichiro too the shot. which... why? almost everything we’ve seen of keiichiro up to this point indicates that he would never do something like that, and if he would consider putting anyone in danger in order to do better, then tsukasa will punch him because that means hes seriously lost sight of things. its not as if hes been struggling more with the notion that he might not be able to save everyone as the series goes on- which isnt a downside at all, lupats characters are its strongest point and keiichiros solid lawful goodness is a core part of his character- but ultimately, we’re left at a point where there is no way that keiichiro would shoot dogranio and kill the lupins. there was never a chance. and with this being the case, the patos last big hurrah is ultimately a failure: they cant get the lupins out, but they also cant get rid of the threat of dogranio for good.

2) lets talk about the loved ones becoming thieves. honestly. i loved it. but its not as strong a reunion as it could have been. the problem with the lupins loved ones becoming thieves is that it raises like a hundred questions in the last 10 min of a show, and we don’t have a good understanding of what the loved ones are like as people without the lens of the lupins’ perspectives to look through. and again, all the meaty episodes with reminiscences about the loved ones were in the first half of the series? i dont feel that the lupin magnum ep bc that vibes more like a i am the shadow the true self type deal, but it does show that the lupins are bringing their loved ones back for at least partially selfish reasons: its not about what they would have thought about it, its about what the lupins want. but with this in mind... we don’t know enough about the loved ones to know many of the nuances of what theyre like, either as people or as thieves? were they worried? angry? would they blame the patos for failing to rescue the thieves? (also theres this whole thing about how if theyre acting as phantom thieves then the gspo should know about them but theres no time to get into that, i suppose) im not saying it was bad! outfits were super cute and kairi and his bros reunion was super touching but im sitting here in complete conviction that their appearance as thieves ultimately raises more questions than it does answers, and this close to the ending (like 10 min!!!!!), hinders a satisfying conclusion

(TBC LATER)

#grigiopost #lupato

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harryff · 7 years

Text

Chapter 2 Aria Part 1.

Trigger warning: Sexual assault, domestic abuse. Please call the 1−800−799−7233 if you have suffered from any abuse.

In the next upcoming months Aria and Harry reconnected. Her album was to be released soon but she longed to go back to the days she sang background for the band.

Laying in bed she remembered the day Liam and Harry got into a fight over whose part she will sing along with and somehow she managed to appease them both. It was the first time Harry truly noticed her as he tells it to people.

It was currently 10pm in New York which meant it was 3am in Manchester where Harry was working on his album. Aria was supposed to be asleep instead her mind raced filled with anxiety she couldn’t relax instead her thoughts took her to the worst possible outcomes for performance the next day. To help pass time she texted him

Aria: I miss you big head lol😚😙😋

Aria: I can’t sleep😣😣😓😓☹

Aria: I wish I could call you but you’re sleeping beauty and you definitely need 6 hours of sleep at least or youll be evil lol 😴😴😴

Aria: Remember the time i made you stay up for 24 hours and you were grumpy the whole day and I had to make it up 😉😂

Aria: I have to perform tomorrow. I don’t want to. I’d much rather go back to the good old days where no one knew I existed

Aria: I still laugh at the memories of you falling on stage…. clumsy prince

Aria: I’m gonna have diarrhea tomorrow theres no way I’m gonna survive

Aria: Sorry TMI 🙊

Aria: Since I cant bug you you’ll wake up to like 20 texts. 😜

Aria: she sent picture of her sleeping with the teddy bear he got her 2 years ago

Aria: Me and Mr. H miss you

Aria: I had to give him surgery awhile back. Roxy the little shit ripped his eye out. I almost cried 😢😢😢

Aria: Imagine me a grown woman crying over a stuffed animal. 😂😭😭😭

Aria: I went into panic mode!! That was not a contingency I planned for she just bit his eye and yanked it out! Then she starts running with it! In her mouth! Chewing it! I never truly knew what panic was till that moment!😲😲😲

Aria: Damn dog😒😒😒

Aria: Arent you supposed to be up running? It’s 3

Aria: I miss you again

Aria: I don’t want to perform Harry

Aria: Will you be disappointed in me if I quit?

Aria: Will you call when you wake up?

When Harry woke up at 5am his time he read the texts laughing she was definitely panicking her nerves were getting to her because she was a chatter box.

He called her via Skype

Her computer facing her she raised up hearing the call she clicked the mouse before falling back in bed.

“Aria” he said watching her move around

“Yes”

“I see Roxy is around Mr.H” he said noticing the dog by her side

“Yes she was on 1 month probation after she did that”

He chuckled

“It’s not funny” she said sitting up

“Yeh ok?”

“No” she said looking down

“Yeh’ll do good!”

“I don’t like performing in front of people”

“Yeh did when we went on tour”

“Yes but no one knew it was me”

He sighed

“I have to perform for the executives at 9. Practiced my ranges”

“Don’t strain your voice”

“I know… what are you doing today besides calming my nerves”

“Just tha'nd recording”

“You’re working on your 3rd album?”

“Yes”

She smiled “you have great bed head”

He laughed “are yeh not sleepy?”

“I am I keep jerking in my sleep”

“Just relax poppet”

“I’m trying”

“I have to go for my run”

“Ok i’ll call you when I get done”

“Ok” he said blowing a kiss

She caught it.

Harry: How’d it go? He asked when she didn’t call by the end of the day he wondered how things went

Aria: 😭😭😭😭😭😖😓

Harry called her

Harry: Pick up poppet

Aria: No 😭😢

Harry: howd it go

Aria: ‘need more practice’

Aria: Tommy said ‘on a scale of 1-10. 1 being pretty bad and 10 being the worst performance ever that was a 7.’ 😭😭😭 I can’t do this

Harry:😒😒 drop him he’s a shitty manager

Harry: Pick up poppet please

She took a deep breath before answering his call

“Hey” she said

“Where are you?”

“At home” her voice broke

“Aww pet”

“I can’t do this Harry”

“I think yeh need another manager”

She sniffed “I wish you were here”

“I’ll be there soon pet”

She remained silent

“Wanna tell me what happened?”

“My voice shook the whole time….sang off key sounded like shit”

“It’s alright Aria”

“It’s not,” her voice was soft. “I’m not made for this.”

“Aria yeh are” he stressed

She sighed “how was your day”

“It was wonderful recorded 3 songs”

“Good”

“My album is done will you listen to it?”

He paused “i don’ kno’ if i should.” He was hesitant. In the past she depended so much on his opinion he got frustrated with the search of approval from him.

“Ok fair enough i’ll have Mr. H listen to it”

He remained silent

“Maybe i can do like a Sia thing but cover my whole body be in dungeon somewhere”

He was still quiet

“Ok Harry good night.” She said ending the call. She knew him too well he was asleep.

As she sat aimlessly looking at the ceiling she contemplated all the different things she could do to put an end to her contract. Get sick with a virus, purposely damage her larynx, car accident etc. When Harry awoke at 3am his time he called her she stared at the phone contemplating whether she would swipe right or left. The screen went dark she thanked the gods for not making her make that decision.

At 10 in the morning she found herself in the studio listening to Thomas or Tommy berate her

“ARIA! Im talking to you!” he said snapping her out of her thoughts

“Sorry” she cowered away

“WHY” he paused “why didn’t you perform like you did in this video? you were so good then what is it now?” he was showing her a video of her singing at a local jazz bar. There were only 10 people, people she would never meet this was different this was executives and produces people who had the power to build or destroy her career with one move.

“I dont know im just nervous”

“ABOUT WHAT? WE HAVE DONE EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN TO GET YOU TO NOT BE NERVOUS? SO WHAT ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT NOW?

“EVERYTHING!” She argued back before looking at her phone Harry had called her 5 times already.

Harry: Aria are you ok ive called you multiple times

She recorded Tommy

He hit the wall beside her “YO YOU A FUCKING EMBARRASSMENT IT’S A WASTE OF TALENT YOU HAVE. I GOT A 10 YEAR OLD WHO WOULD KILL TO BE IN YOUR SPOT!” He walked away from her “…SO YOURE TELLING ME YOURE GONNA LET SOME 10 YEAR OLD OUT DO YOU? DO WE NEED TO MAKE YOU SING NAKED NEXT TIME?”

She spoke softly “Im sorry I can’t Tommy”

“DONT TOMMY ME! TELL ME YOU CANT! YOU JUST DONT WANT TO! YOU KNOW HOW HARD I HAVE WORKED FOR YOU! YOU OWE ME THIS!”

She sat silently and hit the send button

Harry: get up and walk away. He texted feeling his anger rise if he was there his fist would be connecting with Tommy’s jaw

Aria: I cant

Harry: Aria get up and walk away

Aria: he’s blocking the door.

She remained quiet waiting for the vent session to be over.

“You have a show tomorrow Chicago Bulls so get ready. Ya ass aint making a fool out of me again” She nodded leaving the studio. She ignored Harry for the rest of the day working on her vocals. She sat at home working on her ranges.

“You sound good Ria” her grandmother said cooking

“Thanks Grandma”

“Whats wrong?” she noticed her behavior

“Tommy screamed at me… told me lots of things i was an embarrassment to him… grandma i don’t know if i can do this”

“Youre too good dont let him ruin you!”

“I know”

Her phone lit up it was Harry texting her.

Harry: can you call me please

She stood up and went to her room to call him

“Aria” he said looking at her on the camera

“Hey” she said getting comfortable on the bed. Her eyes were puffy her nose was red. “How was your day?”

“Good.. are yeh ok?”

“I’m ok” she sighed

“Wha’ happened with Tommy”

“Have to perform tomorrow”

He tilted his head in confusion

“Yea”

“Don’ wan yeh to be sad pet”

“I’m ok Harry. Me and Mr. H will be tough” she joked

He chuckled “I’ll be there soon so save some luvin for me yea?” “No you dont get any”

“Wha’? Why?” he smiled

“Well see me and Mr. H have a bond even you can’t break. I have been there with him through thick and thin” her eyes welled up “and he wont” her voice started to break “and he wont let me down and i won’t do the same to him… sorry i dont mean to cry”

“Aria dont cry pet”

She chuckled wiping her tears “I don’t even know why im crying Harry thats the problem. With Mr. H i know i cant let him down"

“You never let me down" he spoke softly

“I have, i know that, but im trying not to.”

He sighed not knowing what to say. She was always too hard on herself. Her worst critic never letting up on her imperfections. “ ‘M gonna go to bed” he mumbled

“K good night” she said before ending the call

The next day she walked onto the court her hands shaking getting ready to sing the national anthem. Tommy had softened his tone but his words were still harsh. She found herself panicking 30 minutes prior, hunched over with a paper bag to her mouth. The cameras flashed she brought the microphone to her mouth. She closed her eyes imagined she was at home. When the song was done people jumped to their feet cheering her on. She thanked them and rushed off court. It was one of her best performances.

“WHOO!“ Tommy cheered “THAT WAS IT! THAT’S WHAT YOU DO!… You sounded so good. Thats what you do in front of the execs don’t worry about them you got this Aria!”

She smiled taking a deep breath in she wanted to leave there was no celebration for her this only meant the inevitable an album release and a music career.

“Thanks Tommy can i go home now?”

“Nah lets go party!” “I really dont want to”

“Look its for your image just one drink” he begged

“Ok” she sighed as they made their way to club she texted Harry

Aria: I think i did ok everyone is happy

Aria: Going to the club with Tommy

Aria: Text you when i get home

It was supposed to be the club but they pulled up to his house, there was a party going on

“Tommy i thought you said club” she said giving him a look

“I know but house parties are fun!”

She shook her head this was her first time in his house “I’m not”

“Please just one drink you promised”

“Fine one drink and i’m done”

An hour passed one drink turned to two and two turned to three she thought. Her head was spinning, Tommy was being too friendly, he was groping her in places he shouldn’t have. When she tried to leave his grip on her wrist tightened when she fought back he put her arm behind her making her face the crowd as he dry humped her from behind. When he dragged her to the bathroom she used the opportunity to escape.

“Come on!” he stressed in a playful tone licking her neck forcing her against the wall

“No stop” she said weak from the concoction she was never a light weight so this was not the norm for her He hit her thigh “I said come on!” his thigh wedged between hers his tone changed he was being forceful

“Stop Tommy” she tried to fight him off

He held her hands above her with one hand while the other groped her body “You know you want this dick, Harry can’t do you like me”

“Please” she begun to cry she was too weak

Abruptly the door swung open. The man looked at Aria’s face “Yooo chill!”

“I’m not doing nothing” he said stepping away from her with his hands up

She quickly maneuvered from him he reached out for her but her arms were too quick on her way out she fell to the floor. Only managing to stand up and rush up the steps she found a room and locked herself in it. Quickly she dialed Harry’s number forgetting he wasn’t in the US, when she remembered she called her grandmother

“Aria do you know what time it is? im asleep!”

“Grandma please come get me” she sobbed on the phone

“Whats wrong?” she sensed the urgency

“He almost raped me i dont know whats wrong with me”

“You stay there i’m calling the cops”

“NO! please”

“Where are you?”

“Tommy’s house on 3rd bellavue house with all the cars”

“Stay where you are I’m coming!”

It felt like eternity waiting for her grandmother. She was finding herself waking up from an unconscious ous state every 5 minutes. She was fighting to stay awake. Her phone rang 4 times before she awoke

“Hello? Hello? Aria!?”

“….Grandma?”

“Where are you? You tell me now or i’m coming in with my shot gun!”

“I’m coming don’t” she said weak

Slowly she stood up her legs felt like jello, she opened the door and walked to the staircase held onto the railing with a death grip the party was dying down. She saw him at the corner of her eye he was mingling slowly she walked down the steps trying her best to not draw any attention to herself. When she got to the bottom of the stairwell. The door seemed so far away there were so many people in the way she tried to quickly move around them

“Aria? Is that you?” she heard his voice

“ARIA! I’m calling you!” fear took over she was pushing people out of the way, when she reached the door she opened it and collapsed her grandmother already standing outside her car ran towards her

“Aria” he spoke in her ear as pulled her up. She winced away

“YOU GET AWAY FROM HER!” her grandmother threatened

“I’m just trying to help her out”

“YOU TOUCH HER I’LL BLOW YOUR WHOLE FACE OFF!”

His temper rose “CALM THE FUCK DOWN OLD BITCH!” “I GOT YOUR BITCH TOUCH HER AGAIN AND YOU WON’T HAVE A DICK” She whimpered standing up

“Aria are you ok?” she spoke to her helping her up

She limped to the car her ankle sprained

When they got to the house it took her grandmother 10 minutes to wake her up

“Oh thank God! Aria what did you drink?”

“I don’t know” she said turning her head away from her

“Let’s get you in the house”

She slumped on the couch her grandmother close by the whole night.

The next morning she woke up with a splitting migraine confused about what happened

She groaned her memory was hazy, she remembered drinking a blue motorcycle and Tommy being aggressive she remembered him walking her to the bathroom his smile on his face his eyes telling her something else

“Oh mi nieta you’re awake!”

Her voice raspy “Grandma what happened?”

“Thomas tried to rape you!”

She thought “No… what?”

“Aria you called me you couldn’t even stand! you need to call the cops i think you were drugged”

“He what?” she sat up needing to piece things together

She picked up her phone there were texts from Tommy

Tommy: i hope you had fun i had too much to drink

Tommy: im sorry about what i did I love you😗 Aria i would never hurt you i was just fucked up Tommy: shit you were too,

Tommy: grinding on me i miss read the signals, you know that right? You know how i get when im fucked up

Tommy: tell your g ma to chill i was fucked up too shit you were too

Tommy: call me when you get this

Miranda: 😁😀YAY bestfriend you did good!

Her mind tried to remember what happened but it couldn’t dnt her wrist was bruised, she rubbed it to sooth the pain.

“Aria you need to call the cops!”

She shook her head “I don’t”

“Well freshen up clear your head”

“How’d i get home?” she looked around

“I came to get you! that rapist was trying to pull you back in”

She stood up and fell to the ground

“Ahh!” She grimaced grabbing her swollen ankle

“I think you sprained it” her grandmother picked up her foot “here put it up let me get some ice”

In the bathroom she undressed she noticed bruises on her neck, her thighs and knees when the skirt fell she covered herself with her hands, she had no underwear, she could not remember what happened to it. In shower she tried the best she could to remember she couldn’t. But she also knew something wasn’t right. she scrubbed hard feeling dirty. She felt a sick feeling from the pit of her stomach she hunched over unable to stop it. She vomited.

In her sleep it came to her in a flash

She saw herself drinking her drink.That nauseous feeling intensified

“I gotta go I don’t feel good.” she steadied herself by holding his shoulders

“No stay” he rubbed her sides

She shook her head “I’m leaving”

“I said stay” he insisted pulling her back, her back to him he breathed on her neck. She moved her neck away “Mmmm you have a nice ass” he said before smacking it

She shot up in cold sweats her head pounding was it true? Did he really do that?

She looked at her phone there were texts from Harry. He sent her a screenshot from the tabloid the caption “Looks like you and Thomas had fun, you did great! I watched it! what a way to celebrate😂😋” the picture her hair on her face with one arm behind it looked like they were in the middle of a dance. Her wrist ached as if it had a memory of the pain that was inflicted upon it. Harry was oblivious to the dark truth. feeling nauseous she jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Rising slowly she cried looking at herself in the mirror.She blamed herself she should have known better. She should have been more careful.

Picking up her phone there was another message from Harry

Miranda: Bitch call me you look lit😂😜

Miranda: Umm that picture doesnt look right call me 🙁😕😞

Harry: call me when you wake up pet I miss your voice😗.

She snatched her laptop from the floor quickly she searched flights to Manchester leaving the next day. She was willing to pay any price once she got the confirmation email she hopped off the bed and three clothes into her suitcase

Her grandmother walked into her room “Where you going you can’t leave!”

“Manchester”

“Are you going to tell him

“I can’t even remember what happened! if it happened will he believe me?”

“Aria he can’t get away with what he did! now I don’t know how the music industry works but that man cant walk away from what he did to you!”

“I know mimi”

“So call the cops”

“I..” she looked to the bathroom

Her grandmother stressed her point “tell him.. Harry will know what to do…. have you talked to him?”

She shook her head

“I’m not going to let this go”

“I know”

“How’s your head?”

“Pounding”

“Well relax I will finish packing for you”

The next day she found herself in Chicago O’hare limping around she hadn’t told Harry about her plan to stop by.

Tommy: You haven’t called are you ok

Tommy: just call me or send a text to tell me your ok

She felt sick looking at the texts holding onto Mr.H she walked around till her flight departure time. When she landed at 2pm she made a beeline for his condo.

She knocked in the door she quickly wiped away her tears

“Yea yea!” she heard his voice through the door

He stood confused for a second before his face lit up

“Poppet! Wha’re yeh doing here?“ he asked lifting her into a tight embrace

“I missed you” she confessed

“Yeh should have told me!”

“I just did!” she said forcing a smile

He leaned down to kiss her she could only manage a few kisses it was killing her.

“What do I owe this delightful surprise?” she shrugged walking in

“Hey” she greeted his band

“ARIAAA!”

She smiled

“Yeh should have told me really” he said pulling her down on his lap. “ ‘M flying to London tomorrow family time”

“Oh” she said looking down

“Yeh’ll come with me?”

She nodded

“Wha’ happened to your foot?” Weezer asked

“I fell... heels”

“All that partying yeh ‘nd Thomas did” Harry commented “yeh never texted by the way”

She swallowed hard smiling at him “sorry forgot”

He raised his eyebrow

“So what are you up to today?” she asked

“Last recording session are yeh ok?” he noted her pale complexion

“Yea, just cold”

“Yea we gotta go mate” Stevie said noticing the time

“Oh shit! Yeh want to come?” he said standing up

She shook her head

“Jet lag?”

She nodded

He leaned down placing his forehead on heres “Ok well yeh kno’ where the food is. Don' eat all my bananas. I’ll be back ok?”

She forced a smile fighting the tears “yes”

“Are yeh sure you’re ok?”

She hated that he could read her like an open book

“Yes” she said kissing him

“One more” he said biting his lip

She wrapped her arm around his neck. It took all the energy she had to put passion into the kiss

“Oi! we gotta go.” Stevie said

As the day turned to night she sat crying on the couch. She checked her emails wanting to tell her grandmother she was safe. Her heart dropped seeing Tommy’s name on the list she hesitated to open it. When she did it was a picture of her in the airport the title read Aria party girl rushed to Manchester to see Harry. The caption read Rumor is he called her screaming mad about the picture of her and manager Tommy G. His email: Im fucking calling you and you in UK? We got sessions you better be back by Tuesday. She felt sick to her stomach they couldn’t be more wrong. Sleep finally seeped in after hours of laying awake. Her memory flashed through her dreams

“Come on” he says grabbing her hand he had a goofy smile on his face pulling her towards the dance floor

“No Tommy” she tries to resist

He pulled harder making her collapse into him “damn baby! I didn’t know you wanted it like that?” he chuckled

“Stop” she pushes away from him

His hands grab her ass he is holding her in place as he rubs his nose on her neck “you gonna feel so good on my dick”

She sat up immediately tears flooded out of her eyes this couldn’t be happening she thought. She got off the couch and went to lay in bed. A migraine already thumping through her brain she lay in bed when she heard the door open she turned on her side pretending to be asleep.

Harry quietly took of his clothes and retreated to the bathroom. She could hear him humming behind the water. When he got in bed he cradled behind her kissing her cheek before falling asleep. As she begun to get sleepy she prayed she wouldn’t wake up from a nightmare. In the morning her prayers were answered she softly got out of bed and got ready. Harry woke up an hour later.

“Wha’ do yeh want for breakfast pet?”

“Nothing this is fine”

“ ‘Re yeh sure? you’ve been pushing around the cereal for 5 minutes” she was in a daze she didn’t notice

She shook her head “it’s fine I promise” she lied

He grabbed her hand “Ok are yeh sure? cuz i’ll get yeh anything yeh want”

“I promise” she said forcing the spoon in her mouth.

When they got to his mother’s house she was greeted with love

“Aria come in we have missed yeh oh I always knew yeh two would get back together!” Anne hugged her

She smiled

“Aria!” Gemma greeted her “finally someone we like… no love”

“When are yeh goin to marry her Harry?”Anne asked

“Oh muuum” he fussed

“ ‘M just saying she took yeh back it’s a sign”

Gemma chimed in “Yea no one wants yeh but her so yeh need to be in your knees”

“These’re strangers not my family I don’ kno’ wha’ alien planet they come from” he joked causing them to laugh

Gemma grabbed her hand dragging her away from Harry “We have to catch up that dress at the wedding to die for where did you get it?”

“Michael Castello designed it”

There was a lot of catching up to do which Aria gladly agreed to do anything to take her mind off that night

At dinner she sat once again pushing her food

“Do yeh want something else?” Harry whispered

“No!” she got scared “this is fine!” she put a mouthful in her mouth

He gave a look she was definitely being strange. She had no appetite there was a raging migraine she was trying to calm down. After yawns went around the room after dinner every one retreated to their rooms

“Ok off it pet what’s the problem?” He asked while they lay in bed. He was trying to find out what was wrong with her

She spoke softly “Nothing”

“No there’s something big show comin’ up?”

“No just thinking”

“About?”

She shook her head and smiled

“Yeh don’ wan’ to talk ‘bout it?”

She shook her head

“Ok” he looked down at her holding Mr.H “You’ve been holding him awfully tight can’ yeh hold me like tha’ too?” He joked

“No you might break” she teased

“Wha’?”

“You might break” she held back her smile

“Are yeh saying I’m weak?” He asked towering her

“……..Yes”

“Yeh wanna test tha’ theory?” he asked before kissing her deeply his kisses made her forget momentarily but when he started grabbing her thighs and kissing her neck is when her mind refused to let it go. She froze eyes shut tight. He noticed the tension in her body he raised up to look at her

“Aria wha’s wrong?”

“Nothing”

“You’re stiff as a board look at me” she opened her eyes “wha’s wrong?”

She sighed “I can’t…. not tonight”

He huffed “ok” he gave her sweet kisses

“Sorry”

“Don’ be luv is just sex… I can take care of myself” he said winking

She giggled “Perv”

“Hey only for yeh”

“I guess I should feel special”

At night her prayers were not answered. Her mind took her back to that night

She looks around people are dancing she doesn’t know where she’s going but Tommy is pulling her towards it.The bathroom door is kicked open and he pushes her inside

“Stop it Tommy” she says trying to walk passed him. He closes the door with his foot. He charges towards her stuffing his tongue in her mouth. She pushes him away and slaps him. His hand is immediately around her neck his eyes cold and dark he pushes her against the wall. “bitch ill kill you matter of fact” his other hand loosens his belt

“please” she begs clawing at his arm he pulls out his penis, "you know you want this dick" he jams his knee into her thighs forcing them open. “shut up.” He reaches up her skirt to rip off her underwear. He pulls hard making her body jerk forward before the fabric gives way. "Harry cant do you like me" He gets closer kissing her neck she tries pushing him off he places both arms above her head holding them by the hands he reaches between her thighs she’s crying “please” she begs. He stops and looks at her he licks his hand before he palms her vagina. He moans “you wet already, just how i like it”

She shot up from her sleep in a cold sweat immediately she ran to the toilet a violent vomiting spree was to begin.

Harry groaned “Aria?” he turned to his side to confirm she wasn’t there

“Aria” he called sitting up hearing the vile noise. Slowly he got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. He knelt down beside her rubbing her back

“Something yeh ate?” he offers explanation

She nods in agreement

When she’s done her hands are shaking she can barely wash her face. She was pale as if she saw a ghost

“Wha’s wrong?” he asked noticing her expression

She turned around with tears in her eyes if he only knew

“Shhh it was just a dream” he sooths her hugging her tight.

But it wasn’t was it? Tommy really did those things. The reality was setting in.

In the morning she continues to rub Harry’s arm unable to fall asleep she lay awake against his chest

During breakfast she checked her phone

Tommy: Where the fuck are you at

Tommy: you think it’s funny you fucking with my career

Aria: I need more time please

Miranda: so you really gonna ignore me your bff?

Mimi(grandmother): Aria have you told him

Aria: Not yet I will soon I promise

As Gemma and Aria shopped around she tried her best to act natural.

“Are yeh ok?” Gemma asked during lunch Aria even though trying her best was very distant

“Yea!” she said putting on a happy face

“Sure? yeh look pale”

She smiled “Yea lack of sun” she joked

“Tell Harry he owes you a vacation”

She smiled Gemma her biggest advocate always made Harry go out of his way for her “Only if you come too!”

“You know it!”

As the day wound down she hopped the night would be gentle on her she couldn’t wake up from another nightmare.

“Did you see this?” Harry laughed showing her a picture of her crawling up the stairs. Who would possibly take that picture and furthermore insinuate she was going to have sex with Tommy?

She smiled

“Yeh were having fun weren’t yeh?”

She remained silent

“But ’m glad yeh ‘nd Tommy handled your differences” he said falling asleep

She melted into his chest not wanting to remember anything

The next day she Aria, Anne, and Gemma decided to clean up then treat themselves to dinner. She got multiple texts during the day. People were asking her about the picture.

Miranda: uh you need to call me NOW! i know your ass didnt fuck tommy

Miranda: you disappeared to Manchester whats up☹

Miranda: ARIA what did Tommy do to you? Why did Mimi call me crying???😭😭

Aria: i can’t talk about it Miranda, not now

Mimi: have you told him

Aria: not yet Mimi

Mimi: im not playing do it or I will

Aria: ok ok

~With Harry~

“Whoa Harry have you seen this?” Weezer asked

“Wha’?”

“Look” he looked at the heading Tommy G accused of sexual assault 2 victims have come forward the caption: ‘Both victims claim it happened in his house we will keep you posted’

He frowned “he didn't” he paused to think remembering the dirty glances he gave women

“I gotta find out more” Weezer said scrolling through his phone

As the day went on he couldn’t help but think about it. It gnawed at him this was her manager, someone who was close to her.

“Oh shit! Now they are saying one of the girls was assaulted the night he partied with Aria”

Harry tried to shake it off. “no he couln’ have”

Stevie rushed to him“Harry have you seen?”

“Yea” not wanting to be bothered by it

“No look!” Stevie said shoving the phone at him

Harry looked at him before grabbing the phone he read the words ‘A witness has stepped forward caught him in the act.’ As he read the details his heart rate picked up ‘…. walked in on him with his female artist.’ Tommy only managed Aria and another female artist who was absent that night

“Have yeh talked to Aria maybe its someone else” they tried to reason

“Did she tell you anything?” Gigi asked

He looked at them “no she would tell me”

When the day ended even Gemma got notifications on social media people were tagging her on the posts. Aria’s phone was buzzing nonstop.

Miranda: Aria

Miranda: dont ignore me im your best friend,…. thunder buddies for life

Miranda: Aria

Miranda: did it happen?

“Aria wha’s this?” Gemma asked showing her the article. Her heart sank reading the article Tommy was getting charged with sexual assault. Two victims identified one had yet to come forward. She was the remaining piece.

She shook her head “its nothing”

“They’re saying you’re the other woman is it true?”

“Other woman for what?” Anne asked taking the phone from Gemma’s hand

As Harry rushed to his mother’s house he thought to himself those pictures that were taken, she did look uncomfortable in Tommy’s embrace. The bruised wrist she explained away seemed to be the one he was holding behind her back. She also never got that drunk in public so it was strange that she got that drunk, even when she got drunk she was never that sloppy, falling all over the place hair in her face.

As Aria tried to convince Gemma and Anne that wasn’t her her phone lit up

Miranda: Shit is hitting the fan I hope you told him

Tommy: you bitch

Mimi: hope you told him

Aria felt her breathing hitch

“Aria this sounds like yeh!” Gemma said reading more articles

“It’s not” she whispered

Harry rushed through the kitchen door he walked in “Aria” he called

She smiled at him but stopped soon after his face was one she couldnt read ”….yes” she answered warily

“Yeh promise to tell me the truth?” it was supposed to be a statement but came out as a question

“Yes anything” she half smiled

“Wha’s wrong Harold?” his mother asked noticing his expression

He paused before speaking standing across from her. His eyes burrowing into her soul. “Wha’ happened that night at Tommy’s house?”

She looked down. Her nightmare was coming to life. It seemed forever when she heard her name being called.

“Aria” Harry called his eyes were becoming more bewildered by the second, her silence was confirming his gut instincts. She looked up at him before looking down. Pulling at her sleeves occupying her hands. She was losing the battle on holding back her tears. It wasn’t long before he called again.

“Aria… I asked yeh a question” his voice assertive he walked closer to her searching for her eyes. His breathing uneven. He needed her to tell him nothing happened. Everyone was looking at her waiting for an answer.

“ARIA!” he screamed in frustration. He startled them.

“Oi! Wha’s going on in here?” His dad asked walking in

The tears won they poured out of her eyes

“Aria tell me wha’ happened!” anger spewed in his voice

“Harold!” his mother scolded in a whisper

“Oh my god!” Gemma said in shock

The whole room came to the realization something dark happened that night. Her behavior made sense now the lack of appetite,the pale look on her face, the vomiting, the insomnia, the night mares.

“Aria” he whispered she had yet to speak. He needed her to say it was a joke. That there was no way it happened.

She looked up at him with tears rolling down her face, her hands were shaking pulling on her sleeve “please don’t make me go back to that night” she spoke softly

“Oh!” Anne grabbed her chest “yeh poor thing” Anne immediately rushed to her side and held her in a tight embrace.

“Harry he didn’…. did he?” Gemma looked at him hoping he could offer up a reason

He squatted down. Holding his head. There were no longer butterflies in his stomach from fear of the truth. Fear was replaced with anger which started from his chest and radiated out “ ’M GONNA KILL HIM!” He said standing up

“Oi! Stop that!”

“Dad not right now!” He paced the floor “…. That BASTARD put his hands on yeh? im going to kill him!

“CALM DOWN HAROLD!” His father said grabbing his shoulders

Aria sobbed in the background. He should have known something was wrong. Her eyes told him something was wrong they were filled with sorrow. He pushed passed his father going outside.

“Oi! come back’ere!” His father chased after him

Gemma knelt down next to her crying and hugging her “Im so sorry Aria”

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askullandbones · 7 years

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Hi, thx so much... ugh, where do I start? I hope this doesnt seem too open or anything. Basically, Ive been having some problems with my best friend. Were both in 2nd-year uni and we go to school in diff cities. Weve been close since we started high school. And I love her, and shes usually my goto person to talk to or shoulder to cry on. But the thing is, shes much more social and Im not. She was my only friend in high school and while shes still closest with me she had others. (1/?)

Now in uni she still has tons of friends and I haven't really been able to make any. We havent rlly drifted apart but our convos are mostly limited to FB texts. Shes now rooming with another friend & I just have this crippling fear of being replaced. Bc it would be so much easier for her. And sometimes she does things that are sort of weird. I feel like im always shifting plans to suit her needs. She doesnt respond to half of what I text her. (2/3) (3 is the limit I promise, so sorry!)

Ive also begun a big Undertale fic and Im super excited about it, but even tho I've started posting it she doesnt seem to want to read it, she said she might someitme "if she has time" & "if shes bored." Which hurts. I tried to talk to her abt all this stuff last year, but she seems to have... forgotten. & I feel so bad & dont know how to deal with it, much as i ❤ her i dont always like the way she treats me. Its so hard to tell the line b/w actual worry and bein whiny. (3/4 sorry!!!!)

I know she has her own stuff going on and I try to be there for her but its so hard. Parts of me have stopped caring about her stuff as much as I should which I KNOW is awful of me as a friend, like when she told me the girl she loved didnt love her back, stuff like that, and I just dont know what to do. My loneliness has gone into hyperdrive basically, and its very confusing. Am I just being self pitying? Any advice would mean so so much to me. (4/4 I am SO SORRY for spamming you with this)

Wow this got long. Gonna put it under a cut.

Hey. Hey? First, deep breath. This might seem like the end of the world, but it isn’t. Trust me.

When you reach this point in your life your whole social dynamic is going to shift into what I’ll call ‘adult friends’. When you went to school it was super easy to make friends (or easier than it is now), because you were put in a small group of people your age and you were basically forced to interact. You might still have some of that in college, but it’s much less forced. The things that held you together with your peers isn’t really guaranteed as much to be there anymore.

First thing you need to tell yourself is that friends typically don’t get ‘replaced’ when you’re older. At least, not if you’ve stopped acting like a kid. Most of the time the friends you had in highschool are just gonna... drift apart. It happens all the time and it’s natural.

And while I can’t relate, I know a lot of people just have a large circle of friends they talk to about various things. Each friend has a different appeal. It’s not so much ‘replacing’ as it is ‘adding’.

Now I won’t speak for your friend, but from what you do mention about her not being flexible and not responding to texts, it could be a whole host of things. Maybe her schedule is just super rigid. Maybe she just forgets to respond to your texts, especially if she’s got about five different other people she’s talking to. Maybe she has nothing to say. Unfortunately these are things you’re probably going to have to talk to her about if they’re bothering you. Friendships thrive on communication.

As for her not getting into your fic... it might hurt? But try not to let it bother you.

When I was getting into Undertale and back on the writing bus I did the same thing with a friend of mine. While she’s always been supportive, she never really wanted to read it even if I asked what she thought, and after awhile I realized it just wasn’t something I could really engage with her back and forth with. She just didn’t know what to ask, didn’t really want to read a subject she knew very little about.

It hurt a little at first, but then I just realized she didn’t have the same interest in it as I did. I just sorta pushed it to the side when it came to talking to her even though it was such a big thing in my life. Instead of saying “I’m working on this Undertale fic omg you wouldn’t believe what--” I’d change how I worded what I wanted to say to be a little less restrictive. Instead I would say “I’m working on some writing and these characters are being--”

See the difference? The second is much more inclusive to someone who has no idea what the fuck Undertale is. They can still engage. I can’t force her to enjoy something I do just like she can’t force me to enjoy something she does.

And no, you are not being self-pitying. You’re worried about a friendship you cherish. You’re worried about how your friend treats you. You’re worried that things are coming between the two of you. You care enough about this friend that you don’t want to lose them, but that also means you’re going to have to work on it. You’re gonna have some awkward, intense moments coming up even if they’re scary.

You gotta be brave.

What you need to do is think. Think about your friendship. You mentioned that you think she treats you bad sometimes. Make a list of the things she does that make you feel bad. Can’t come up with an answer as to why she might do these things? Ask her. Bring it up. It’s scary, but if she values your friendship she’ll listen and you two can work things out.

But friendship is a two-way street. There are ways you can improve too. Find interests you share. Try not to feel bad when she doesn’t like the same things anymore, you’re both starting to grow up and get different interests.

Set boundaries and stick to them. You say you’re always shifting your plans and not the other way around. Stop. Put your foot down. Say no, you can’t shift these around. Don’t bend to her whims all the time. Set a hard line. She will work with you and bend her own plans too if your friendship is valued.

Most importantly though, as scary as it is, don’t be afraid that you two might just be drifting apart. A lot of friendships end after highschool and most of them aren’t because of fights. They’re just... from drifting apart. It might seem like you won’t find more friends, but you will.

I’ve been friends with the same girl since I was a teenager. She lives in Canada. I love her so, so much. When I got a divorce and she started college again we kinda just... didn’t talk much. We used to talk every single day but we didn’t anymore and that bothered the fuck out of me. I thought we were drifting apart, and in a way we kinda have.

She has a boyfriend she plays games with a lot, games that I don’t enjoy. I like to roleplay and write and play games that she doesn’t enjoy. She’s busy as fuck and I’m absolutely incompetent at conversations half the time. We don’t have all the same interests anymore and sometimes we go a full week without saying a word to each other, and we both realize things have changed a bit, but it hasn’t changed how we feel about one another. We still love each other a lot.

College is when you’re going to start to realize that, maybe, a lot of your friends you make are gonna be online. Chatrooms. Games. Writing. Roleplaying. They’re gonna scatter the globe. I have friends from Canada to the states to Indonesia and Germany. I visit the friends within an hour of me maybe... once or twice a month. That’s fine with me. It doesn’t bother me much. I talk to one friend I had in highschool maybe... once every... three months? I don’t hate them, I just don’t have much in common with them anymore. It happens.

But I should wrap this up.

Breathe. Take a nice, deep breathe. This isn’t the end of the world even if it’s scary and you wish you didn’t have to deal with it. You’ll survive even if the outcome is the worst thing you can imagine.

Friendships change over time.

Communicate your feelings.

Evaluate your own role in the relationship and if you need to make some changes too.

Set hard boundaries.

If you need more advice, I’m here.

#life advice #relationships #anonymous #skull answers

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sherristockman · 7 years

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Medical Mistakes Affect 1 in 5 People Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Medical mistakes are made in the operating room, in the emergency room and in the doctor's office. And, unfortunately, the mistakes made by doctors, nurses and pharmaceutical companies still are the third leading cause of death in the U.S. Statistics from a study originally published in 20001 have not changed in the 17 years since its publication. Authors in the Canadian Journal of Surgery believe medical errors represent a serious public health problem and a threat to patient safety.2 The definition of a medical error often rests on patient outcome, or rather if there was a negative outcome from a medication or procedure. Some research suggests 250,000 people die each year from medical errors and millions more who are harmed by drug-related mistakes.3 However, as frightening as the number of people dying from medical error is, some suggest it is only the tip of the iceberg.4 The purpose of understanding the numbers is not to scare you, but rather to help you understand how you can take control of your health even inside the health care system. Making informed choices and using proven tools to reduce your risk of illness by maintaining optimal health are strategies you may use to reduce your personal risk of injury at the hand of another. Some medical errors have resulted in drastic changes in the standards of medical care, but often only after tragedies and long years of work to change an ingrained system. For instance, in 1982, ABC highlighted cases of anesthesia mistakes that resulted in injury or death, but it wasn't until 1985 before a program of standardized anesthesia care and monitoring was put into place to avert those errors.5 As a general rule, one of your best ways of preventing unnecessary injury or death is to stay healthy and out of the hospital. This is why I am so passionate about sharing preventive health strategies with you, such as eating right, exercising, reducing stress and getting quality sleep. The exception is in cases of accidental trauma or surgical emergencies when modern medicine can be truly lifesaving. Survey Reveals 1 in 5 Patients Has Experienced a Medical Error In a nationwide survey of more than 2,500 people, researchers found that 1 in every 5 adults had been on the receiving end of a medical error and 1 in every 3 said someone whose care they were closely involved in had experienced a medical error.6 The results from this survey found most of the errors were involved with diagnosis of a medical condition and occurred in an outpatient setting. The press release begins:7 "The vast majority of Americans are having positive experiences with the health care system, but 21 percent of adults report having personally experienced a medical error, according to a new national survey released today by the IHI/NPSF Lucian Leape Institute and NORC at the University of Chicago." Other notable findings from this survey included: Almost half of the participants who discovered an error brought it to the attention of medical personnel or other staff Most believed that although the medical staff are predominantly responsible for safety, patients and families also have a role to play People identified on average seven different factors that played into the medical error While the survey does demonstrate a willingness to be involved in patient safety, it is also important to note the average rate of error was 21 percent in this sample size, and medical mistakes continue to rank as the third leading cause of death in the U.S. Dr. Tejal K. Gandhi, chief clinical and safety officer and president of the IHI/NPSF Lucian Leape Institute, commented on the results of the study: "The survey results show that Americans recognize that patient safety is a critically important, but complex, issue. The focus on diagnostic errors and the outpatient settings closely parallels other research in this area and confirms that health care improvers need to take a systems approach to safety that encompasses all settings of care, not just hospitals. I think one of the most valuable findings is the degree to which patients are willing, and expect, to be involved in their care. The fact that many people who experienced an error spoke up about it confirms that patients and families are vital to informing health care organizations about harm and how to prevent it in the future." What's Acceptable Human Error? Any time humans are involved in an equation, there is room for error. No human is error free. And, like most other human behaviors, the average rate of human error has also been picked apart, studied, analyzed and discussed. Human error rate tables confirm that the "human factor" is real and unavoidable. Human performance falters when tasks require great care, or are complicated and nonroutine, in much the same way medical care functions. However, in most human error rate tables, the highest percentage of error is 10 percent performing complicated, nonroutine tasks.8 Mechanical error rates outside of medical care average 0.5 percent to 1 percent.9 Researchers measured pharmacist error in a busy VA hospital where 1.9 million medications were dispensed over one year and found a 0.0048 percent error rate during the busiest shifts when verification of over 400 medications was done in one eight-hour shift.10 IHS Automotive, an auto industry research firm, reports there are nearly 253 million cars on U.S. roads.11 There are an estimated 5.8 million car accidents each year.12 Of those car accidents, 94 percent are caused by human error.13 If each car drove just once each day, accidents occurring as the result of human error in the 253 million cars is equal to 2.1 percent. Each of these statistics is a far cry from the 21 percent of patients in the U.S. health care system that experience medical errors. You May Be Shocked by These Medical Mistakes In many instances, medical error is preventable as it's often the result of human error. Patients and family members may help reduce these mistakes by staying vigilant when receiving medical care.14 • Getting the wrong treatment To give you medication, radiation, physical therapy or even surgery, medical staff are required to verify your identity. Most hospitals use identification bands with your name, birthdate and a unique barcode. Make sure this is checked before you receive any medication or treatment. • Waiting in the emergency room Hospitals and emergency rooms have a finite amount of space, so when they are full, you may be forced to wait for medical care. Most hospitals will prioritize patient care based on the extent of the trauma or urgency of the medical situation. Be sure the staff is aware of any changes to your medical condition while you're waiting. • Waking up during surgery If you receive an underdose of anesthesia, your brain may be "awake" even if you can't move your muscles. Unable to move or speak, you may still feel the surgery taking place. Express any concerns you have with your surgeon and anesthesiologist before surgery, including asking about options for local anesthesia in lieu of being put to sleep. • Surgical mistakes Surgeons may perform a procedure on the wrong body part, or leave a “souvenir” inside. Between 2005 and 2012, nearly 800 instruments were left inside patients after surgery, drastically increasing their risk for infection and necessitating a second surgery.15 This number doesn't include other potential objects, such as sponges or electrodes. Alert your surgeon and attendants you are aware of these issues, confirming with the surgeon the body part on which surgery is planned and asking them to be especially careful when counting instruments and sponges at the end of the surgery. • Fake doctors Not all medical mistakes are made by medical professionals. In some cases, con artists pretend to be doctors or therapists to scam you of your hard-earned money. They sell potions, braces or exercise programs advertised to make you healthier, faster, better or prevent surgery without the research or expertise to back up those claims. CNN gave the example of Sarafina Gerling, who wore a back brace advertised online by a man found guilty of insurance fraud. Gerling thought the brace would help her scoliosis, but it only made the condition worse. Iatrogenic Infections Result in Nearly 50,000 Deaths Each Year Iatrogenic (caused by a medical treatment, diagnostic procedure or physician) and hospital-acquired infections kill more people each year than diabetes. Each year 1.7 million are infected at the doctor's office or hospital and 99,000 die from health care-associated (HAI) infections.16 These infections affect up to 10 percent of all patients hospitalized each year and add an estimated $20 billion in additional health care costs. Also called nosocomial infections, the most commonly acquired in-hospital type of infection include infections in central line IV catheters, urinary tract infections from Foley catheters, surgical site infections and diarrheal illness from Clostridium difficile (C. diff). In many cases, these infections can be prevented using simple handwashing techniques required of hospital personnel when coming into contact with patients. Unfortunately, many of these infections are triggered by superbugs or bacteria that have become antibiotic-resistant. Inappropriate use of antibiotics and overuse have contributed to the development of antibiotic-resistant superbugs, but the largest source of exposure is actually through antibiotic use in your food. Nearly 80 percent of all antibiotics sold in the U.S. are given to livestock to reduce disease and make the animals grow bigger faster. Residue from antibiotics is then passed along to you in the meat and dairy products you eat. For example, at least 80 different antibiotics are currently allowed and may be detected in cow's milk. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)17 has concluded that as much as 22 percent of antibiotic-resistant illness in humans is linked to food. Death Certificates Hide the Real Numbers At this point, no one knows the real number of deaths that may be attributed to medical mistakes as most death certificates do not list the trigger. For example, Dr. Barbara Starfield, author of the Journal of the American Medical Association study that documented a staggering 225,000 deaths from medical mistakes in 2000, was herself a victim. Her husband, Dr. Neil Holtzman, attributed her death to an interaction between aspirin and Plavix, which was not mentioned on her death certificate.18 Researchers from Johns Hopkins Medicine believe these shortcomings in how vital statistics are recorded hinder research and keep the issue out of the public eye. They wrote an open letter to the CDC, calling for medical errors to become a recognizable and reportable cause of death.19 The data analysis showed the coding system used to categorize death certificate data doesn't capture information that may have led to unrecognized surgical complications, inappropriate medications, diagnostic errors or poor judgment. The inability to capture the full picture of medical errors may stunt research and public knowledge of a problem that continues to grow inside the health care system. The researchers have recommended a number of different strategies that increase transparency following an error and communication within the health care system and with reporting agencies, such as the CDC. These types of changes may help researchers evaluate the issues and find solutions to reduce patient injury and death. As long as providers and administrators don't acknowledge the severity of the problem, very few corrections are likely to be made. Dr. Martin Makary, professor of surgery at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, led the research and commented on the irony in the results, saying,20 “It boils down to people dying from the care that they receive rather than the disease for which they are seeking care." Staying Safe in the Hospital Download Interview Transcript In this interview with Dr. Andrew Saul, who has written a book on the issue of safeguarding your health while hospitalized, we discuss the importance of being your own advocate. Once you have walked through your doctor's office door or have been checked into a hospital, you are immediately at risk for becoming the recipient of medical mistakes. You and your family are the best safeguards against experiencing a medical error. This is particularly important for children and senior citizens. Anytime you are hospitalized, be sure you have a personal advocate present with you to ask questions and take notes. It helps reduce the likelihood of mistakes when someone can ask, "What is this medication? What is it for? Who is supposed to get it? What's the dose? Are there side effects?" Another step you may consider if someone you know is scheduled for surgery is to print out the World Health Organization surgical safety checklist.21 The checklist can be downloaded free of charge here. If a loved one is in the hospital, print it out and bring it with you, as this can help you protect your family member or friend from preventable errors in care. Needless to say, avoiding hospitalization is your safest bet. You may be able to reduce your risk of hospitalization by maintaining optimal health following specific strategies you'll find in my previous article, "Medical Errors: STILL the Third Leading Cause of Death."

#VitalityPath

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whatamitochondriac-blog · 7 years

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Facebook August 11, 2017 - This is a difficult update to make. I've been waiting until I had a few remaining pieces of information but I have enough to let you know what is going on.

As you know, I was diagnosed with toxic mold exposure and I am in Tampa at a facility that specializes in treating mold toxicity. The fact that there is a facility that has successfully treated hundreds of thousands of people is something I'm extremely grateful for.

You've seen pictures of the port through which I will get my treatment every day. Most likely beginning on Monday. All of this is good, and it's the positive I am clinging to right now.

The rest of the news is not unscary. I am sharing this without much censorship because I'm feeling afraid and even though I have a lot of love in my life, this is in many ways a solitary process and I want to feel a little less alone as I begin it.

This stuff won't be super easy to hear for those who love me very much - much less easy to say - and I'm sorry if it freaks anyone out... but here it is in all it's glory. These toxins, called mycotoxins (from mold exposure), that I am infected with, are extremely poisonous, because of what they do. This is what I have been learning about in excruciating detail.

1) They compromise the liver's ability to produce the enzymes needed for detoxification required to keep the body healthy. 2) They compromise the body and brain's immune systems. 3.) They destroy the blood brain barrier and gut lining. 4.) The destruction they cause allows parasites and bacteria into the blood, brain and nervous system cells; all of these organisms and toxins produce toxic matter while they simultaneously destroy healthy tissue and organs. I'll let that one sink in for a moment. :(

5) As this is occurring and the body is preoccupied with trying to keep itself running, the nervous system is inevitably exposed to additional environmental toxins (e.g., petrochemicals in the air and water which cause neurodegeneration, cancers, etc). And here is where it gets sad and scary. 6) As a result of all this toxicity and invasive organisms, cell walls are destroyed, premature death of vital cells happens with increasing speed and regularity, and mitochondrial function is totally compromised. (Mitochondria are essential to life, and mitochondrial dysfunction is responsible for many diseases you know the names of. Multiple sclerosis is one example.)

This chain reaction has happened because I am genetically unable to create immunity to mold. So this destructive chain of events has likely been underway a long time. There was standing water in our basement that we used to roller skate around. Many of our basements were musty as were my friends. And I lived in plenty of water damaged buildings and apartments. When Mom's basement flooded I was sitting amongst the mold growing on the walls and on our ruined photo albums for hours at a time for months, including after the mold was remediated (killed) which meant I was just marinating in mycotoxins. Many people have asked me why this is just now happening but it hasn't - it's been slowly creeping up.

Most people who have known me in the past 10 years have known me as a person with health problems. Panic attacks, increasing body pain and weakness, cognitive changes and sensitivity/electrical activity in my brain that no doctor could diagnose - until I found one trained in environmental medicine (which is not taught in medical school, apparently). The past year I have been unwell quite a lot, and in the past couple months have lost a lot of function as a result of this electrical activity in my nervous system.

I learned this week that this electrical activity is caused by biofilm which these many foreign organisms create and live in, inside the fatty tissues of the body - most importantly in the brain. This biofilm becomes an ecosystem, complete with communication from organism to organism, and functions with a lot of electrical activity independent of the brain's function and in response to the brain's function.

This is a photo of my brain - my precious and only brain - which is so electrified that even in a sleeping state it is never turned off. All that red and orange and yellow is activity - activity that should not be there in a resting state (which is the state in which the PET scan is taken - which required quite a lot of drugs to achieve just like sleep does for me, now, every night). The lower portion, from my understanding, is tissue, and anything not black is non-brain matter. So all that blue stuff is parasites and bacteria and mycotoxins and petrochemicals. :( I learned this week that all of this has led to significant organ damage; my liver is in early stages of failure, fatty tissue destruction in my brain/nervous system is occurring at a record rate (worst 5% of the population), and is on track for multiple sclerosis and scarier things I dare not even mention. The visual and hearing changes I am experiencing along with my balance/coordination issues and difficulty walking, etc are on the list of things that we will address in treatment.

Next week I will slowly begin the "kill" infusions to deal with all this foreign matter in my brain/nervous system/liver. I'm scared about it, because the body has to go through a very intense process to deal with this.

Various killing agents are introduced to kill bacteria and parasites, alongside various substances that bind to toxic matter and bring it out of the system. This is delicate business. I have seen much illness, weakness, seizures,etc, in my short time in the clinic.

But I have also seen dozens of people leaving having concluded their treatment ... and they are walking around even though many came in unable to walk at all. I see people talking and laughing who were catatonic when they came in. I said goodbye today to a really nice man who has the same mold genetics as me, who had to retrofit his entire house to make it safe to move back into. But he was able to do it. It took him 3 months to repair his immune system and cellular state/activity. I took a picture of him with his final IV drip and watched him get his port access closed for hopefully the last time. But while this was happening, a girl about 10 feet away was having her 3rd seizure this week (that I have seen), and the man with very bad Parkinson's (who also has bad mold genetics and had extremely high mold tests and astonishingly high levels of industrial toxins) was crying softly for a very long time.

So nobody is pulling any punches - it's clear that I will have good days and bad days. But the people who stick with it get better. There are literally thousands of before and after pictures on the walls of people who, with the help of these doctors, were able to break through the biofilm, kill the foreign organisms in their brains/nervous systems, restore healthy gut and brain barriers, rebuild cell walls and repair mitochondrial function, reverse autoimmunity and leave with functioning immune and detoxification systems. And all along the way what's happening is explained and the research and outcomes supporting the approach is readily available and extensive.

It might be very hard but if these other people can have these outcomes, I have good reason to be hopeful. And it's time. Because its very hard to watch those closest to me suffer while I have been suffering. And because I want to have a positive active, happy life again. I want to have a family, and to spend time with my friends and my relatives who miss me, and whom I miss. All of you, for example.

I am so grateful to those of you who have reached out to the incredibly special people who have been supporting me during this time. I wish I could be taking more care of the people I love right now the way I used to. I feel sad about the modifications my loved ones are having to make to their own lives. I keep telling myself this is all happening to make us all stronger in the end. For now I just feel alternately grateful and also sorrowful for the circumstances.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers - but please try not to worry. I believe in the underlying energetics of things (don't get me started on the energetics of mold) and I know that only positive energy best be pointing in my direction. I will be doing - am doing - all I can on my side to focus on the positive* as well.

*This might seem like a gloomy update but this process is the first time I have ever opened up so candidly about something so personal, so I consider this a positive step.

I am thankful to you for reading this and for all the care, kind thoughts, wishes and prayers I am lucky enough to be receiving. I really love you all, and I look forward to the day we can talk and hang out again soon.

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