#its collaselly incorrect | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

epaily · 9 months

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im glad everyone else on earth had a good holiday and new years i am still grieving and in horrible agony and i will be for quite possibly years to come. cheers.

#pretty sure my mom thinks ive gotten over it because i played trivia tonight #i just know my parents will bother me if i dont do shit and i cant be assed to find the energy to argue with them #i miss my girl. so much. every day. i want her back.#i cant stomach the thought of going on without her. i cant. even typing this 43 minutes to midnight makes me feel nauseous #it feels like leaving her behind #i want her here with me #i cry every night and i barely sleep and i barely eat and doing any hobbies feels like a violation of her #why love anything. whats the point #im petty and im angry and im selfish and i want my cat back #its not just that shes dead. its that they cremated her against my wishes so i dont even have a body to grieve over #i cant talk to her anymore. shes just not even in the world anymore. my best and only friend isnt even bones.#it isnt right. it isnt meant to be right #one of the reasons i stopped trying to kill myself every few months was because if i went she would look for me and now its swapped #its collaselly incorrect #thats spelt wrong but idgaf #im hurting. thats it. she took part of me with her #i dont want to be in a world where she isnt #i miss her. so much. so so so so so much.#adventures #it isnt fair #this is so awful to say and i know it doesnt work like this im not the main character etc but also like #since the 5th its just been a perpetual -how dare you be happy and be celebrating the holidays when shes gone-#i would give absolutely anything to go back to before it happened #anything #fucking anything in the universe and beyond #i dont believe in the afterlife or spirituality or god or any of that shit. none of it. but i hope i get to see her again #my dad was yacking about getting a new cat and its just like. just shut up. for the love of god shut up #even the night we were at the fucking vet he said we could get another cat. fucking disgusting. i dont want another cat i want HER #when we got her in 2012 i was so mad. i didnt want a cat. i locked myself in my parents room and screamed #if we get another cat im going to hate the poor thing. hang on ive hit 30 tags i need to reblog this and keep going

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