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#im petty and im angry and im selfish and i want my cat back
epaily · 9 months
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im glad everyone else on earth had a good holiday and new years i am still grieving and in horrible agony and i will be for quite possibly years to come. cheers.
#pretty sure my mom thinks ive gotten over it because i played trivia tonight#i just know my parents will bother me if i dont do shit and i cant be assed to find the energy to argue with them#i miss my girl. so much. every day. i want her back.#i cant stomach the thought of going on without her. i cant. even typing this 43 minutes to midnight makes me feel nauseous#it feels like leaving her behind#i want her here with me#i cry every night and i barely sleep and i barely eat and doing any hobbies feels like a violation of her#why love anything. whats the point#im petty and im angry and im selfish and i want my cat back#its not just that shes dead. its that they cremated her against my wishes so i dont even have a body to grieve over#i cant talk to her anymore. shes just not even in the world anymore. my best and only friend isnt even bones.#it isnt right. it isnt meant to be right#one of the reasons i stopped trying to kill myself every few months was because if i went she would look for me and now its swapped#its collaselly incorrect#thats spelt wrong but idgaf#im hurting. thats it. she took part of me with her#i dont want to be in a world where she isnt#i miss her. so much. so so so so so much.#adventures#it isnt fair#this is so awful to say and i know it doesnt work like this im not the main character etc but also like#since the 5th its just been a perpetual -how dare you be happy and be celebrating the holidays when shes gone-#i would give absolutely anything to go back to before it happened#anything#fucking anything in the universe and beyond#i dont believe in the afterlife or spirituality or god or any of that shit. none of it. but i hope i get to see her again#my dad was yacking about getting a new cat and its just like. just shut up. for the love of god shut up#even the night we were at the fucking vet he said we could get another cat. fucking disgusting. i dont want another cat i want HER#when we got her in 2012 i was so mad. i didnt want a cat. i locked myself in my parents room and screamed#if we get another cat im going to hate the poor thing. hang on ive hit 30 tags i need to reblog this and keep going
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stcrmys · 5 years
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god !! i hate that i had to rush this but i promise i am so beyond excited to write with all of you ! stormy , thanks kylie jenner for the name idea hehe , is a brand new muse and i am so excited to explore her and see where she goes !! i love plotting, like i find it so fun and am a hoe for angst and drama and friendships ! god if i dont get a cute bff plot you will see me pouting until the end of my days !! asdfg . basically though my point was if you want to plot please just like this ?? message me ? i have to switch to mobile but ill still be here !! also i still have to figure out my tags and finish my plot so i repeat do not desktop my good sis’s blog . anyway please let me shut up !! 
*  lawless  paparazzi  flashed  photos  of  a  2019  ,  zenvo st1  pulling  into  the  sparkling  gates  of  quincy  park  ,  indicating  that  stormy  of  the  prosperous  villeneuve  lineage  has  returned  home  .  college  ended  for  the female  in  2018 ,  but  they’re  already  flourishing  in  their  field  , proclaiming  that  their  bachelor's  degree  in  music  production   is  being  put  to  prolific  use  .  the  general  public  may  be  unworldly  enough  to  believe  that  her accomplishments  were  earned  honestly  ,  but  the  people  of  new  york  city  are  painstakingly  aware  that  it's  impossible  to  snag  a  top  paying  position  as  a  music artist  right  out  of  university  .  the  family’s  been  tormented  with  a  well  -  known  rumor  that  they buy out every record company to eliminate their competition and when that goes south they have a tendency of releasing career damaging scandals to the public to ruin the company’s reputation and their talents career’s  for  years  ,  so  it  was  news  to  no  one  when  the  villeneuve’s made  local  headlines  claiming  the  only  reason  their  obstreperous  progeny’s  career  is  what  it  is  is  because  her father paid spotify, billboard, and apple million of dollars to make sure that her first album went number one and stayed number one .  tempest has  done  a  splendid  job  of  keeping  the  bloodline’s  furtive  truths  confidential  ,  but  their  reputation  of  being  effervescent  &  gaining  a  postgrad  inheritance  of  724.8m  hasn’t  been  enough  to  cease  the  counter  blast  from  new  york’s  angry  civilians  .  if  they’re  not  heedful  ,  not  even  quincy  park’s  sturdy  golden  gates  will  be  capable  of  keeping  out  the  city’s  vengeance  .  (  madison beer  ,  twenty one ,  the skookum  /   )
  ‧  *   i.   ╱   stats    .
name : stormy avania genevieve villeneuve
nickname(s) : storm , storm - storm, little villeneuve, honeybee. 
age : twenty one .
birthday : november sixteenth .
zodiac : scorpio .
gender ╱ pronouns : cisfemale , she and her.
sexual orientation : heterosexual 
romantic orientation : heteroromantic 
languages : english, french, italian.
occupation : music artist 
 voiceclaim : madison beer.
 ‧  *   i.   ╱   summary    .
hazel  hues  dipped  in  virescent ,  locks  of  chocolate  that  sits  on  honeyed  skin  .  the  tempest . boisterous .  captivating .  a  goddess  true  to  the  name  that  carved  itself  into  her  flesh ,  stormy .  her  arrival  itself  being  chaotic  winds  and  whispers  of  a  mistress  who  had  set  themselves  out  to  tear  apart  a  home .   a  concept  twisted  and  concealed  by  the  hands  of  the  villeneuve’s . sob  stories  and  apologizes  along  with  the  preaching  of  “ i’m becoming a better man everyday, “ clinging  to  the  ears  of  the  media  , and soon  the  world . expected . andres   villeneuve  could  do  not  wrong . a  powerful  man  within  the  world  of  music . respected  and  adored . someone  whom  inherited  the   ability  to  make  the  world  drop  to  their  knees  and  worship  mediocre  musicians .  why  would  they  stone  him  for  one  single  mistake  ?  or  at  least  , why  would  they  stone  him  for  one  single  mistake  for  the  rest  of  his  life .  they  forgive  him  in  the  name  of  everyone . and  soon ,  the  villeneuve  became  a  family  of  seven .  
she  was  privileged  . her  tiny  feet  walked  on  thousand  dollar  carpets  ,  the  fabric  that  clung  to  her  body  should  have  been  carved  from  the  hands  of  an  angel  at  what  they  were  cost . private  school .  tutors  .  cheerleading  and  then  volleyball  and  then  soccer  and  then  back  to  cheerleading  . the piano  .  the  saxophone  .  the  drums  .  the guitar  .  her  childhood  consisted  of  experiencing  everything  there  was  to  experience .  sports .  music .  art .  learning  at   two  languages  by  the  time  she  reached  ten .  she  was  raised  to  be  intelligent  . athletic .  talented .  she  had  to  be  talented .  within  the  arts ,  if  she  was  not  picking  up  an instrument  or  holding  a  note  her  dad  grew  bored  and  annoyed .  something  that  the  small  brunette  learned  quick . and  so  like  most  children ,  she  impressed . she  really impressed .  she  was  polite  and  respectful  .  well  mannered . the  strictness  of  her  father  and  step  mother  weighing  on  her  shoulders  .   they  wanted  perfection  . 
being  with  her  father  and  his  wife  and  kids  was  almost  as  if  she  stepped  into  a  dream . flashing  lights ,  luxuriousness . and  while  her  mom  had  a  status  of  her  own , her  dad  was  shaped  and  formed  different  .  the  fame . the  respect .  it  was  everything  to  him . bouncing  back  and  forth , stormy  felt  like  two  different  people . with  her  father  ,  she  was  all  work  no  play . and  her  mother ?  she  was  play  and  whatever  she  wanted  to  do .  her  mom  taught  her  the  importance  in  life  was  not  the  cars  and  the  houses  and  the  clothes  ( “although they are nice.. reallly fucking nice )  but  the  character  behind  the  objects .  and  she  refused  to  let  the  vibrant  child  of  hers  be  locked  into  a  box  of  running  to  fame  like  it  was  the  only  thing  that  would  make  her  life  and  her  impact  important . her  mother ?  she  was  all laughs  and  giggles . jokes  and  shopping  days  . sky diving  in  greece  and  pretend  music  videos  in   italy . the  one  that  mostly  shaped  stormy  into  who  she  is  now . 
for  the  last  twenty  one  years  is  one  person  that  reflects  a  childhood  split  into  two  .  the  ambitious  sometimes  selfish  sometimes  ruthless “ ill  pretend  im  stone  cold  if  that  what  it   takes “ and  the  vibrant  boisterous  life  of  the  party   and  the  light  of  your  life  .  the  twenty  one  year  old  girl  who  has  heard  be  yourself  and  be  better  from  two  different  voices  and  is  still  trying  to  decide  who  she  even  is  underneath  the   all  the  expectations . 
‧  *   ii.   ╱   personality    .
she  is  an  animated  laugh  escaping  parted  lips  ,  affectionate  hands  reaching  out  to  pull  you into  her  embrace  .  she’s  the  sound  of  her  own  heart  beating    in  her  ears  as  her  foot  is  on  the  gas  or  her  hues  pear  out  at  the  sky  of  blue  she’s  about  to  jump  in .  she  is  tired  eyes  in  result  of  not  sleeping  and  instead  writing  song  after  song .  she  is  one  am  studio  sessions  and  three  am  shots .  she  is  the  small  girl  who  pears  up  at  her  daddy  and  just  wants  to  feel  like  she  is   more  then  just  another  way  to  benefit  him  . she  is  the  desire  to  be  wanted  .  to  be  loved . she’s  spontaneous  trips  to  tropical  islands  and  dramatic  scenes  .   she  is  harmless  teasing  and  a  goofy  smile . day  dreaming  about  falling  in  love .  she’s  the  whisper  in  your  ear  that  she  loves  you  but  the  coldness  in  your  bed  as  you  reach  out  and  realize  that  she’s  no  longer  there . she’s  not  thinking  about  consequences .  the  honeyed  dipped  voice  that  tells  you  to  do  it . she’s  gentle  kisses  against  your  skin .  she’s  feeling  everything  all  the  time  and  feeling  it  deeply . she’s  the  girl  you  just  cannot  take  your  eyes  off  of .  she  talks  to  you  and  suddenly  you  feel  as  though  the  world  revolves  around  you . she’s  scattered  thoughts  and  rosy  lips  that  never  stop  moving . a  broken  heart  that  never  knows  if  it  wants  to  grow  cold  or  have  someone  come  and  fix  it  . 
‧  *   iii.   ╱   headcanons ??   .
asdj she’s a mess? basically that’s all i got for her.
she’s the second youngest out of five. 
is an artist under her dad’s label, and while she loves making music she does not love him having a say in her creative process.
she’s such a light !! 
affectionate, playful, ambitious, careless, boisterous, hard to control, talkative, an adrenaline junkie! jealous and petty, vehement. 
is such a different person around her dad? basically blocks him from seeing her true personality.
truth is she still fears his rejection. 
she has a journal that she carries everywhere. 
craves feeling important to people? if she doesnt feel like her bond with you is meaningful she gets all weird and annoying!
is hot and cold in romantic relations.
but so god damn affectionate! with everyone! let her hold your hand or lay her head against your shoulder or run her fingers up and down your arm !!!
is the ultimate adventure buddy .
needs excitement twenty four seven sorry. 
will give you a nickname, she doesnt care if your name is cat. its not just c ! asdfg.
i have so much more but ill add later, im kind of rushing asdfg !! 
‧  *   iii.   ╱   connections    .
best friend, platonic soulmate, ex best friends, group of friends preferably all girls, family friends, childhood friends, other clients who are signed to her father, first love, ex lovers, toxic relationship, toxic friendship, on and off relationship, confidants, partner in crime, the mom friend who always moms her, rivals, friends who drifted apart, friends with benefits, ex friends with benefits, one sided friendship, one sided relationship, unlikely friends, cousins, hardly related cousins, love hate relationship, forbidden romance or friendship??? 
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toomanyfeelings5 · 7 years
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2 5 & 13 for: ginny Weasley, cho Chang, hermione, gay nuns (never reblog these things while I'm online lol)
THANKS SAM I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Ahhh Ginny:
2. Their emotional/moral weak spots:
Ginny will hate you forever if you don’t support the Holyhead Harpies. You could be the best person but if you talk shit about the Harpies you’re dead to her. On a more serious note, she’s afraid of being vulnerable with people after the diary possession, and she hates losing control over her life, or feeling like she’s lost control over her life. On a moral note, she can sometimes do stuff for her own reputation and not because it’s necessarily the right thing to do.
5. Guilty Pleasures: 
She takes REALLY LONG BATHS, like she gets all pruney and doesn’t care, she loves it. Ginny also secretly watches the Great British Bakeoff but is ALSO obsessed with cooking shows in the USA. she gets very passionate about it all. which is hilarious, because she can’t cook for shit.
13. What Gets Them Flustered:
for harry/ginny: whenever harry says, “your hair is a sunset,” (he says this a lot) whenever harry kisses her in public (with tongue, because neither of them have any fucks to give), whenever harry says, “thank you for being my wife,” in a very conversational, matter-of-fact way, whenever harry helps ginny cut her hair short.
for ginny/luna: whenever luna kisses her hand, whenever luna braids her hair, whenever luna calls her, “darling,” whenever luna shows her some really cool magical creature specimen and smiles really wide and tells her, “it’s not as pretty as you, of course.” sometimes luna is telling a joke to people and winks at ginny, like they both know what’s funny, and ginny blushes every time. 
the thing to remember here is that ginny is a bisexual sap no matter what. 
Cho Chang!!!!
2. Cho can be too forgiving–she’s no pushover, but she avoids conflict like the plague with the people she’s close to, and would rather keep her friends instead of potentially making them angry at her. She hates being alone. She hates talking about difficult things. At her most afraid, she can choose what’s convenient over what’s right. She always knows when she does something wrong, but often does it anyway.  
5. CHO READS SO MANY TRASHY WIZARD ROMANCE NOVELS. SO MANY.  She loves and over-analyzes every single one of them. She also secretly loves playing against Harry or Cedric at Quidditch matches but DON’T TELL HER TEAMMATES THAT. 
13. ok so cho blushes all the time, it’s just a fact, but that being said, here’s what gets her flustered: whenever harry leaves terrible little poems for her on the fridge before work, whenever cedric gives her flowers he picked himself from their garden, whenever harry kisses her collarbone, whenever cedric puts his hand on her thigh in public and it’s (mostly) innocuous and casual but cho has read too many romance novels, whenever harry and cedric ask her about the book she’s reading. 
Hermioneeeeeeeee:
2. i feel like her emotional and moral weak spots are explored pretty well in the books, but i will add that hermione has a lot of internalized misogyny to get over, and also that she can be impatient and insensitive with others when wanting to achieve a goal. 
5. hermione and cho have a book club where they talk about the latest TRASHY ROMANCE NOVEL they’ve read. ginny is nominally a part of this club except she tends to skim the books and ends up with only like, 20% of the plot. it’s great. anyway, hermione also loves knitting even though she’s bad at it, and she is ALSO a huge secret fan of those reality tv paranormal detective shows. she points out when it’s a real ghost and when it’s a fake ghost and gets really into it. 
13. hermione gets flustered whenever she’s like, mid-rapid-fire-rant about nothing in particular and ron just gets this big goofy smile and says, “i’m so glad you married me,” and also whenever ron beats her at chess, which they play regularly, it’s like one of their date night things. also whenever her and ron are in a heated debate and ron bites his lip. let’s be real, they both like to solve (ultimately unimportant) arguments with making out. 
IT’S TIME FOR THE GAY NUNS:
Ana:
2. she has a lot of deep-seated insecurity and as a result tends to lash out at the slightest criticism. she can be cruel to preserve her reputation and her self-image. she doesn’t care about the rules, but she PRETENDS that she does with the right people–hypocritical. will back-stab and cheat and gossip and do almost anything to feel valued. wants attention all the time. can be willfully ignorant about her flaws/what’s right–stubborn. can be petty, selfish, melodramatic. loves pranking people, causing chaos, being purposely obnoxious (when it suits her). 
5. she secretly loves going to church, but not because she’s very religious or anything–it’s calming, and she can ignore her family under the guise of prayer, and she can vent to God. she’s like “animals are kind of gross who needs them as pets,” but she loves cats, and no, she’s not projecting, she’s just going to make sure that this random kitten found starving in the convent is going to be LOVED and APPRECIATED LIKE SHE DESERVES. 
13. where do i fucking start. you’d THINK that she’d be like, super smooth and coy and shit, and she is sometimes, because she’s a terrible flirt when she wants to be, but mostly whenever juliana like, smiles right at her, ana internally combusts. ana also gets flustered whenever juliana kisses her knuckles, or says, “god loves you, as i do,” or whenever juliana laughs at a joke ana tells. it’s like, literally any time whenever juliana is really gentle and soft towards her. they could be making out and it’s all good but then idk, juliana’s like “you have such nice eyes” and ana is like “im deceased” bless her. 
Juliana:
2. she can put her spiritual needs above everything else–ie, thinking, “i have god who needs anything else.” can get in her own head too much. she gets irritable and snide when she lets stuff pent up, which is often. proud, hates change, holds grudges. is incredibly strict with her morals because she’s super catholic, (and pedantic), BUT she can also put the institution of the church over god/what’s right. she acts rigid and cold and self-righteous, and she can be all of those things, but this masks her deeply-felt loneliness and exhaustion over not being understood. hates feeling out of control. 
5. juliana actually really loves dancing. she’s not that great at it, but she loves it. she also loves hearing all about conrad’s illegal pirate adventures, even though they’re technically sinful. she also secretly loves to sing. AND she secretly loves watching plays. and bad jokes. 
13. ok so juliana gets flustered whenever ana is super flirty with her, whenever ana kisses the back of her neck, whenever ana says, “you’re lovely,” whenever ana looks at her after juliana is done praying, whenever ana sends her that classic gay smirk when some rando visiting the convent is like, “it’s so great that you’re friends.” also omg here’s the thing. juliana gets Especially Flustered whenever anyone talks about shit about her, and ana gets really protective. juliana doesn’t need to be rescued 24/7 or anything like that, but she really loves it when ana is like “I’LL KNIFE YOU” if someone is like “juliana is uncool” or whatever and juliana gets v flustered. these gays are ridiculous. 
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