#its going to be okay though!! dont worry (:
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Sun and a Moon plushie...
You think Sun sought a lot of comfort from Moon, who was quiet for a long while in their shared headspace after getting rid of the virus. So you, their dear Starlight, managed to get a plushie in the shape of their beloved Moon.
You would often find him there on the couch. Sun softly speaking tender promises to Moon that once he awoke, they would go on new adventures now that they weren't in the pizzaplex anymore and that they could now be together with their dear Star without fearing getting abandoned again.
#dca fandom#dca fanart#fnaf security breach#fnaf sb#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#sun x reader#moon x reader#moondrop#sundrop#daycare attendant x reader#doodle#comic panels#more softness#with some sadness#its going to be okay though!! dont worry (:
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I got bit by the Sparkling bug and really wanted to give Bumblebee and Breakdown a child for my unnamed AU I'm working on but then I remembered I can't draw children :( big shout out to that post floating around here that's like "imagine a Sparkling but they come out full sized then what." traffic tickets and impound fees that's what
(pssst look at their knees)
#its my first time drawing a transformer can you tell#maccadam#tfe bumblebee#tfe breakdown#transformers#transformers oc#OKAY story time!!!!!!#I went with a 1971 corvette bc my grandfather used to race street cars in the 70s and was a mechanic and has a fleet of muscle cars#im going to make Jazz a Chevelle look out for that#BUT i went with F8 green bc my dads wife has a challenger that color green and Blue + Yellow makes green :3#their pointy things are supposed to be a combo of Bees horns and Breakdowns side thingies#also i mixed in some of Bees Cyberverse design bc i like that#their pose is a reference to Fuck Cops meme#okay so i was screaming the entire time i was drawing them bc Hard but also not very precious with the doodles which was a lot of fun?#i used to love to draw but i gave it up bc i was so focused on how bad i was doing and not having fun with it#but this time i was just having fun with it and WOW i finished it???#so for the AU it's not REALLY earthspark its more me pulling verisons of characters i like and putting them into the Scenario#like Ratchet from tfp and Smokescreen are also there along with Skywarp and Ambulon and Prowl and Jazz and Hot Rod#oh just you wait i also gave Skwarp and Ambulon a sparkling thats a search and rescue plane but nobody cares about shipping those two!!!#jazz and prowl also get a sparkling dont worry#the timeline is very long though with lots of flashing back and forwards and other things that probably people wont like but this is for ME
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just finished isat rn. here have some doodles (i have many emotions)


also uh. this
#(dont worry its water)#BUT ANYWAY#PEAK GAME#ITS SO GOOD#GO PLAY ISAT RIGHT NOW#so yeah. to express my love i made some doodles (from this past week)#“why is the artstyle so inconsitent” i am Struggling#also half of those were made on my phone on a different drawing app#AND the reason the quality is so bad is bcus i have the curse of only drawing super small doodles on the corner of the page#and yeah its incurable#also. siffrin is me. unfortunately. i am no different than the average isat player#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#shoutout to isabeau for being the only one i didnt draw. i will one day#yeah okay imma tag odile mira and bonnie (even though theyre barely there)#isat odile#isat mirabelle#isat bonnie#drawinsometimez#brb im gonna go watch an sasasaap playthrough. because i havent yet byeeeeeeeee
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Saintly 'destroyed by your own devotion', part 2. Angled photo and WIP below.


#hugin scribbles#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls#fiddleford fanart#gravity falls fiddleford#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#implied... as is billford#really like how the little bill ended up#anyways... oooops! your old college buddy you definitely didnt have a thing for called and you drop everything including your family to be#there with him except aliens and mythical beings are real and Threatening and you just saw your worst fear because your#definitely-not-a-crush has no sense of self preservation so you do what any sane person does. make a gun to erase your memory cause#godforbid you leave this man to go back to your family. im sure its fine! even though your crush is horrified when he found out but hey no#now he doesn't remember so its okay! also the thing im working on for him definitely is ominous. but hey its fine.#also totally started a community help group surrounded around the memory gun! i have strong convictions that my choices are the right ones#theres nothing to worry about. i dont even remember that there was something to worry about!#stanford pines fanart
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from a bit back. sorry to you yesod in particular the bees called
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#man its vauge. should i. should i. ahhhhghhhsmgmbsvnosoc yes inwill#lobotomy corp spoilers#one spoiler tag as a treat#made when my stability was significantly less . stable. wanted to get the noise and buzzing and overall no good very bad why do i feel so#horrific out of the systems. thus 1.0 brush to vivid color i go and let the wrist go wild with whatever it wants. yesod apparently#its very.. badly drawn? as in very very sketchy type of bodily harm. not sure if i should tag it ill see how it goes and then edit it later#if i need to. hope its fine though. first one was named zipper second named just screaming abt the buzzing under the skin#er a bit more as to why it was made? personal. when inside the freakout mood i have no idea what to call it i tend to scratch at the neck a#if there is something to pull off or as if i could shed and rip off the skin or body. even though i cant. but it just. feels like it? kinda#like trying to get a grip on a hidden or stuck zipper near the back and attempting to desperately writhe and pull it off. to get it off. to#get it out. to remove it from the body. the flesh or what is beneath it isnt quite known. just feeling. irrational and ANNOYING but there#anyways posting because its been a lttle bit. and also a filler post for when i ACTUALLY FINISH i should get it done and posted in the next#three days though FOR REAL . HUZZAH!! its mostly just tweaking dialog/expressions and making the backgrounds like. exist. total other hting#im not happy w it. it iwll exist though. its just a silly thing. its just silly. u dont need to worry about it cent. its okay. its FINE. AH#my anxious ass forgot to add yesod himself in the tags for navigation good HEAVENS#yesod#yesod lobcorp#okay its DONE. FOR REAL . send this bad boy into the queue .
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[ ooc ]
helloo !! i know its been a week since posting, but im going to take a break from posting for a little while, it hopefully wont be too long but theres just some irl situations that i need to focus on for the time being until further notice, thank you all for always being patient with this blog though, hopefully ill be back to posting in a little while when this all eases up <33
#[ ooc ]#sorry i take like 500 breaks but i promise this time isnt rlly the one where i come back 2 days later :'3#i wont go in detail but everything will be okay & its nothing directly pertaining to me just incase so nobody worries or whatnot#but technically ive been focusing on that the past few days as to why i havent been posting#but i feel like this'll be longer than i thought as to why im just now saying something#appreciate you all for being patient 🫶🫶#ill probably try to get around to the orange reply when i can but other than that ill keep interactions & asks to minimum/zero#just so i dont have to worry about this blog when my focus needs elsewhere :'3#ill still be semi active on solariex though & because making silly posts about stick figures is a GREAT distraction anyways for me#but i hope you guys understand & once again thank you for bearing with this blog through the mass amount of recent breaks 🫶🫶
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if chibnall was the one writing this season you lot would be talking VERY differently
#anti rtd#oomfs ur so right#s14 is the kinda mid that people think his era was#and yet#you throw in that razzle dazzle written by rtd and all of a sudden there's no criticisms!#or worse somehow#is how its a polite and gentle reframing of chibs criticism#like with him it was hey he ate this singular one thing But I KNOW CHIBS IS BAD HE'S TERRIBLE DONT WORRY I KNOW IT#and with rtd its oh i disliked this nonsensical and objectively bad writing but ummm guys i lOVED LOVED everything else i swear#its soooooooooooooOOOOOOOOO#it must be studied#but i knew yous were a lost cause when we had 14/15 running around calling men hot bc yes totally something the doctor just does#not ooc at allllll#bc this is how we know the doctor is queer now guys#dont you know it#i have like a million other complaints i miss being like oh hey that was mid/bad and moved on with my life 😭😭#god i think 13 era killed me bc now i do care about u hypocritical losers#rip 15ruby i wish i cared and that you had any development#ncuti millie i would like to hang out with you though#15 maybe you'll cry less next season so that the emotional scenes have impact perhaps 🙏🏾🙏🏾#ramblings of an insomniac#god i just remembered the whole real mum antics#fuck i need to go i gotta go!!!!#ps the ncuti conundrum where he's the most charismatic dr in nuwho whilst also being the worst actor is driving me nuts#idk if its the characterisation or his lack of ability in creating that inner psychology that connective tissue between his louder acting#which he's great at btw!#idk maybe that one monologue in boom made me go yes okay here we goooo#but then every other moment has been like hmmmnnnmtgodhd okay whateve#i think he needed more acting prep before he got this role bc he's got Something he could be Great but the subtle stuff is lacking#sooo hoping he can grow into that but it's giving perfect actor wrong time.... and if ur white ur not allowed to agree with me shush go away
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telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person
#they live rent free in my head as you can tell#ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney#tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship#aughhhh i just. love them so much#and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens#because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!!#like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he#after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak#meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes#just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even#though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein#shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for#one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right#okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them#platonic alecourtney
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Tired. Sad. My head hurts. Stressed??? No time to really relax at all. And my country about to be taken over by the literal devil and there is no counting on anything after that.
#cant even book a therapy appointment#i will self medicate instead 😔#all i asked for for christmas was top surgery stuff#cause i thought that might be soon#but it likely wont be until summer at least#so this is just going to suck really#i am#so goddamn sad#and on top of that its the anniversary of the biggest betrayal in my life#how do you pin down when the betrayal happened if it was a sustained lie#is it when the lie started when they shouldve told me or when i actually found out?#idk#i bought myself a really nice gift though that im really looking forward to#its a drawing tablet with a screen. no computer plugin necessary#ive wanted this for over a decade#so its nice that i finally get to have it#i hope it will get me to start drawing more again#i also still have some good bonuses for this month and the next month#its giving me a lot of hope for my surgery fund#im still so tired though#i just need to get through these next stupid weeks#and then things will start to be okay again i hope#i really really hope#sorry for posting this on my sideblog i dont want my main blog moots to see this and get worried
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( cw - guts? well, you can’t really see it, but still! )
im going to ramble a bit, or i should probably say I am Messing around with toyhouse! at least, with Rainy’s! it doesn’t really mean much, but i just think it’s fun to add small things here and there. I suppose i should just say I’m making his toyhouse the welcome home website! or of similar vain anyways, it’s quite fun!

i promised myself i would keep all their “secrets” behind their toyhouse, but i liked this particular one so much i couldn’t help myself! all the little secrets i put in are probably going to just be me messing around with filters and what i can do differently outside of the norm. This is only secret i’ll probably share, since i know my friends want to go looking for them, haha!
#welcome home#welcome home oc#rainy dewdrop#i cant wait for artfight- its going to be so much fun!#i hadnt really put much effort into last year#i will this year though!!!#myart#dont worry about rainy. he'll be okay with a few stitches!
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22 isn't very much at all, I think.
#5am rambles#anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out#first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay#cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope#i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.
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not a vent but discussion of sui (i am FINE do not WORRY ABOUT ME)
every time i debate sui, every single time, the one sole thing that keeps me from it is this tiktok i saw. crazy i know but hear me out
this tiktok, wasn't a sui note or something. it was a tiktok about this person apologizing for trying it.
to their cat
and, i have a cat. two cats, but one of them in specific seems to love me very much. i do a lot for the cats in the house in comparison to everyone else here, and thus, he's taken a liking to me.
and one thing in that tiktok that stuck out to me was: "i'm sorry i didn't put food in your bowl when i got home." (or something along those lines)
and it hurt me, as a cat owner, and i think i cried reading that because the cat must have been so scared, worried, confused. must have been waiting for food, must have been trying to figure out why there were men coming inside that they didn't know
and honestly, what if that was me and my cat in that situation. i'd feel awful. terrible owner, and i'd never live it down if i survived but my cat was so, so scared, and confused, for however long it would have been
tldr when i live on my own my immediate goal, is to get a cat. of my own, for an incentive to not try anything drastic. because i need to be there for my future cat. to feed them, water them, love them, everything. that's my plan, and it'll work because every time i'll think about it, i'll remember that tiktok. and i'll almost cry, and i'll find my cat and i'll pet them and love them out of my own thoughts, until i realize i need to live for that cat, if not for myself.
#tw sui talk#cw sui mention#I AM FINE GUYS IM FINE my thoughts are just very silly rn#i keep remembering that tiktok and going Oh My God#ANYWAY IM FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT ME IM OKAY#I PROMISE <3#because its kinda a really fucking heavy topic tho im gonna TAG this with#xanvents#even though im nOT venting because i am fine#its just me having some randomm thoughts at 1036 am on a wednesday#im FINEENEENJTSHJKDFNG#cannot stress enough that i am okay
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oh yeag i made spotify playlists of(inspired by?) two of my comfort characters :) 🎉 🚬
#only two of them though#i actually have three :)#but two are. the same person but in a different flavor#so unfortunately the one i have a stronger attachment to gets the playlist 😔 sorry bud#too similar to make two different playlists too different to share one#its okay he has more merch of him#i SCOURED etsy trying to find stuff of 🚬#i found... two things#👍 awesome#meanwhile i found 6 things for the other guy#not counting the sticker i already have of him#yall ive been doing so much sorting stuff since i started taking 20mg of adderall#its wonderful#and doing so much hyperfixation stuff#however i am a little overwhelmed with it#so sorry if yall see me kinda neglecting(in terms of content) some characters i like#lets say theyre on vacation while i get my shit together#i dont lose interests dont worry :)#also if anyones read all of this this is your sign to make some playlists of your favorite characters/comfort characters >:)#go... be free
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the urge to finally watch gomens vs the horrible gremlin that lives in my brain and says that to watch things with [redacted] is most unwise and scary vs that same gremlin in a different hat reminding me that there was Discourse over whether the show should have been made at all morally speaking and additional Discourse over whether s2 should have been made and that is a little bit more than i want to be dealing with on this fine saturday morning so instead im just gonna throw myself in bed & spend several hours watching stargate sg1
#wah wah the little gremlin says. gomens Problematic?? watch gomens make you Bad and Disrespectful???? horrible little man?????#like okay if ur soooo worried abt Problematic Content how about#we dont watch that and we go watch this Other thing instead. which has its own set of Problems#due to no media is free of them u absolute buffoon#really though stargate is like. it's so. u watch it and ur like. man#this really WAS a late-90s early-00s show huh#u can taste it. in the everything#havin fun though#this is NOT an invitation to discourse i dont care about gomens existing i dont care about people watching it#this is just greg being a dipshit again. the rules only apply to me etc.
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ahhhhhhhhhhh genuinely NOTHINGGGG helps my exec functioning issues/self esteem/hygeine/anxiety/ETC more than having a good hair cut!!!!!!!!! my hair lays and feels exactly like i want it to it doesnt fall in my face or bother my ears im literally unstoppable unfuckwitable
#its all layered and thin enough that it goes slightly past my shoulders in the back but i can still comb thru w my hands#the front is short enough i can move it anywhichway so it hides the spot i was pulling at while undermedicated#tbf its grown back a lot since my pulling compulsion stopped (picking compulsion never left while medicatedits just controllable so im not#worried abt that) but still i have everything i want AND i got a c in my soc class instead of a d bc he changed his grading scale hee hee#i tink i failed 2 classes though which is rly sad bc i like my psych cohort .-. oh tf well. i wanna take 1 over summer but idk if fafsa will#cover it or nawt. lol.#idk maybe ill work my ass off during summer and load up on classes next semester..?#40mg celexa 30mg adderall is a more. Normal dose rather than a beginning dose so. i should be able to keep my shit togethe#hopefully.#i think i have ocd tbh ive been on celexa since i was 12 so i didnt have a chance to dig in to a lot of obsessions and compulsions and#complexes n whateva but like.#right b4 i was medicated the trich started and my eyebrows were gawnnn#then recently like. i have never felt such anxiety at leaving my home since i was a younger teenager/in my unmedicated era in like 2022#I LOVE MEDICINE YAY#idfk what ill do when i presumably have to go unmedicated for fertility treatment stuff cause i want to get my eggs frozen#but im SCARED bc i dont know if thats. okay#like... im scared something will happen to those facilities and the eggs and whatever...#and there is literally. not long term enough research on transmasc hrt. to know if my eggs will be in good shape if i go back on t#but id be willing to stop t again cause the effects dont just Go Away at once#like ive stopped it forrrr ig nearly 2 yrs and i still grow darker hairs on my chin/neck lol#but thats all i have leftttttttt 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#im like fr starting to get dysphoric about it its not even funny. at least my voice doesnt bother me like it did#woah i got off topic fast#<- is it really that shocking to the stoner?
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I hate revising !!!!!!
#ripping my hair out trying to answer questions on the effect of video games on aggression#i dont know !!!!!#my first exam is in 13 days and i just dont wanna#that paper is fairly okay though#its psych paper 2 and english lang paper 1 I've got to worry about#they're both on the same day and i hate them both#psych paper 2 is evil and awful and the worst thing ever#and i just dont like english#actually going to swim in a volcano#mr-ladystardust#a levels 2025
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