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e1ana · 5 years ago

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e1ana’s favorite fics!

i have read (and reread) so many good fics recently-

man, people are just so talented. i wanna share the good reads with all of ya’ll, so im making a lil rec list! i’ve included rating, main ship (but many are not ship-centric), any aplicable TWs, title, author, and what i liked :) these are all bnha, but i will make a non-bnha list soon too

let me know if you want a part 2 sometime in the future. my fic rec list is almost as long as my big ass dick. recs in the keep reading >:D please let me know if i got any of the links wrong or if theyre wonky!

★ A Demolition boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (T | bakudeku) ngl i was kinda iffy to read this at first. the idea just didn’t appeal to me as i don’t usually like youtuber AUs. but BOY am i glad i read this!! it’s so freaking funny and cute, and also super well formatted. that last thing is mega important because i cant STAND badly formatted social media fics, but this was so clean looking and streamlined. i just super loved it

★ Sonata for Two - Ohiknowlotsofthings10 (G | tododeku) OH MY GOD. this really just hit all the spots mmm it was so incredible! i absolutely adore music AUs because im a musician, but i’ve literally never seen anything about classical or instrumental/orchestral music. i absolutely love all the description and detail in this. also the dynamics are fucking spot on. basically its cute, well written, and emotional. this was SO GOOD!!

★ Kids - ReminiscentRevelry (NR | no ships) wow this was like the cUTEST THING EVER- ugh, baby class 1A just hits super different. there’s not much else for me to say except that this is absolutely adorable and i may or may not have literally cried from cuteness overload after i read it. dadzawa reigns supreme!

★ a fairytale with a few plot holes - anonymous (E | todobaku | rape/non-con, parent/child incest, child neglect, psychological trauma) this is one of the darkest things ive read in a long time. it’s so incredibly fucked up, but SO incredibly good. like, its obviously very trauma/angst heavy because young shouto is literally getting raped by his dad, but i love angst so... yeah. very fucked up. once we get to the todobaku, i... beyond words. beyond. words. it’s not rushed at all, they have to take their time and work each other through trauma. it’s very beautiful and just... damn. so well written and engaging.

★ lights up and they know who you are - futurehearts (T | kiribaku | non-graphic suicide attempt, discussion of suicide) VERYVERYVERYEVRYEVRYGOOOOOOOOD!! if you’re in the mood for a really, really fucking good future fic, this is like one of my go-tos. i’ve read this so many times - its very engaging. like, once you start reading, you physically can’t stop until it’s done. i so rarely see a well done vulnerable bakugo, but this fic absolutely NAILED IT on the head. marvelous work, beautiful, awesome, lovely.

★ Starlight - gliteringeva (T | dabi(touya)hawks) THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE! this is the fic that got me balls fuckin deep into the actor AU. i feel like its SUCH a hard AU to really do well, and this fic absolutely does that. it’s very, very detailed, but not to the point where it feels like a ‘how to act’ manual instead of a fic. does a greeeeat service to the ‘secret relationships’ trope. it really showcases how complicated that can make a relationship, how it can fuck things up, but that is possible to fix it. just very, very good. like one of my ALL time fave fics EVER. jeez i cant even verbalize it. just... read it. like now. go on. shoo. (also ALL of eva’s dabihawks is just... ugh it has me absolutely gagged. go read it all.)

★ Lessons Learned - Sif (T | familial Best Jeanist and Bakugou | child abuse) yes, this is another one that made me cry. i ABSOLUTELY had zero idea that dadjeans was even a thing. like, no clue. but now im addicted. this is one of the most unexpectedly good reads i’ve ever had - not because i didnt expect to like the writing, but because i didnt expect to like the whole concept lmao. but oh BOY was i proved wrong. this made me feel so many things... i also usually despise the ‘abusive mitsuki’ hc for many, many reasons, but... i couldnt bring myself to hate it here. it was very well done. this fic is just very good, and emotional, and wholesome. if you like family/found family fics this should be at the top of your list.

★ Thus With a Kiss, I Die - DomineeringScarves (T | shinkami) this was the book that inspired me to write how to get a bf. jeez man, idk where to start. this book is so well done. im an absolute feen for Shakespeare and id just gotten into shinkami when i found it, so this was like hitting gold. jeezzzzz. just... so well done. beautiful characterization, wonderful writing, accurate ass dynamics, romance that made me go OH MY GOD... this book has it all. like ALL. (also absolutely read Caged too. a+ dabihawks) (also??? the tumblr cursor on their blog drops FUCKING SPARKLES???)

★ I Would Understand - deafmic (T | familial Aizawa and Shinsou | child abuse/neglect) AHHHHHHHHHHHH. that’s the opener to this review. i absolutely adore anything and everything deafmic puts out, and this was no exception. Shinson and Dadzawa are, like, one of my favorite bnha dynamics ever, and this does them SO MUCH JUSTICE!!!! this fic made my cry and smile repeatedly so fast i think my face is deformed. very good fic if you want to Feel Things. shows just how much Shinsou idolizes Aizawa and how in turn Aizawa really cares a lot about him. one of my favorite Shinsou-centric fics of all time.

★ Written in the Stars - Ichesmia (M | shinkami) A Really Very Good band AU. again, im a sucker for well executed music/band AUs, and this was some good ass food. like GOOD ass food. obviously im a sucker for shinkami, and this is the fic that put the nail in the coffin for me. also incredible dynamics, both in and out of relationships. the whole band feels like a big family and it just makes me wahhhhh. i seriously laughed my ass off, cried my eyes out, shit my pants, swooned, sighed, and did everything else while reading this. one of the best shinkami ANYTHING ive ever gotten my hands on. absoLUTELY read it if youre looking for bakusquad as well - the friendship is real in this one.

I hope you read these and enjoy them as much as I have! Also consider reading the other stuff the authors have to offer - these people are some of the most talented writers ive gotten the pleasure to read from :)

#bnha #bnha fic rec #rec list #fic rec #my hero academia #not my writing #e1ana's bs #go read them and support the authors!!!!!#good reads

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domitiann-blog · 6 years ago

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Who am I?

I recently did an interview with my friend who works as a social media influencer for her newly launched website. Im reposting the content here & I hope the answers give some insight into who I am & perhaps the misunderstood world of sex work...

So tell me more about yourself. What do you do for living and how would you best describe your job?

Hey! My name is Ethan and I am a male escort based in London working both within the UK and internationally. Perhaps adult entertainer better describes what I do as I do/have done strip teases, live performances and adult party hosting (there are probably a few things I’m missing out)

On a functional level what I do can range from helping individuals to access intimacy all the way through to exposing people to a variety of sex or a quality of sexual experience they may not typically have. This might mean a quiet date, a holiday somewhere exotic, a tantric massage, a night of wet & wild fun with multiple orgasms…or all of the above!

More generally, I have a degree in Politics, Philosophy & Economics. I do gymnastics and triathlons for fun. I guess the typical view of an escort is of someone looking to make money in the short run to support an addiction of some kind but for me sex work has been the most fulfilling job I’ve had and I’ve had some pretty good jobs. I certainly wouldn't recommend it for everyone but for a very select group it can be a very positive lifestyle.

Tell me about the first time you received money? What motivated you & how did you feel after your first client?

The first time I received money from someone it was actually the second time that I had been propositioned and based on stories I have exchanged with friends this is not uncommon! I was approached by a man who said that he was involved with a modelling agency and would like to put me on their books and so I gave him my contact details. It later turned out that he wanted to spend sometime simply looking my body and then to watch me masturbate for, what was to me then, a large amount of money. So as a young man with a high sex drive and exhibitionist tendencies there seemed like very little downside. Afterwards he cooked me dinner in his penthouse apartment and we played on his playstation. Although the nature of our sexual encounter was different in some ways, it was actually quite similar to other sexual relationships i was having at that time.

I encounter quite a lot of interest overall (i hope this doesn’t come across as big headed, its more a reality which has lead to what i do) and am very sexually active. At that time, i felt the financial incentive was more of a way of deciding how i was going to spend my time and plentiful sexual energy rather than for any ‘service’. I’ve always just been myself and that slowly became quite lucrative. At the start it was definitely not a conscious career choice like becoming an accountant or an actor or anything like that.

What’s your price list?

This varies too much based on currencies, locations and time scale for me to give you an accurate picture. I will say that unlike many female escorts, prices are for time rather than a specific ‘act’ or ‘service’ and I always make full use of that time and sometimes run over having lost track. Escorts who formulate their prices in the first way i described are mostly working in a very different market though and are not in fact formulating their own prices. However this is a topic that i think we will touch on later in the interview.

Can you describe the people who pay for your time and services? What gender are they? Which services are they usually asking for?

Wow, how much time do you have?! Haha. The spread is more diverse than you might be able to imagine and some of them you may actually know! In fact one of the things i love about escorting is how diverse a spectrum of people I know and connect with. I am quite a people-oriented person and people will sometimes trust me with a side of themselves they don’t show anyone else. Over time, i have acquired a vault-like inventory of insights on how people think and feel in their most secret thoughts & when they are most vulnerable. When people meet me they will often remark that I have a different outlook on life and i believe this is partly responsible.

I see females, males & couples. As an assertive 6 ft 4 male i tend to attract individuals of a more submissive disposition who access intimacy most readily through strong guidance & instruction both inside and outside the bedroom. This means that most frequently individuals will come to see me to experience domination, tantric massage or for me to be their ‘boyfriend-for-the-night’.

What are you’re limits in your job?

My sexuality aligns more strongly with what my role in the bedroom is than what the gender of my partner is. Submissive acts of any kind simply don’t turn me on and its important as a male that i am enjoying myself if you catch my drift haha 😛!

Drug use and unprotected sex are also major no’s for me and are unfortunately highly prevalent in the world of escorting. I did once spend a week with an individual who wanted unprotected sex but we both agreed to get a full sexual health screen before and after! I also get tested every 3 weeks.

Humanity and escorting/prostitution. What is your personal and honest opinion about the work you do? Were you ever judged harshly when you revealed that you are an escort..? If yes, how and why do you think people judge the job you have negatively?

I touched on this briefly earlier but the first thing to say is that there are two clear & distinct fields within “escorting”.

First is what I would refer to as the “independent” escort. These range from the student looking to make some extra money to highly intelligent individuals who have found success leveraging their social & sexual skills into a fulfilling lifestyle. We advertise through independent advertising sites or agencies that take a pre-agreed percentage of what we make and make arrangements for us.

The demand for ‘sexual services’ is deep rooted in society and using a currency to expedite that process is fairly well established in not just human civilisation but the animal kingdom. One study into our closest animal relatives, the chimpanzee, showed that when a currency was introduced into their social ecology the first thing they did was trade it for sex! So sex work in some manner was always there, it remains here and is here to stay; so should our response as a society be to condemn something that is an upshot of who we are as humans? No. In my opinion understanding and accepting the independent sex worker is the best way to prevent escorting becoming the dark, exploitative activity which people confuse with what i do. The best way for society to deal with it perceives to be its ills is to, to quote Karl Jung, ‘integrate its own shadow into the whole’…

The second type of escort is the “trafficked” escort. These are mostly female and are brought into the country either by a boyfriend or a cartel of traffickers usually against their will or under false apprehensions. The entire business end is managed by minders and little to none of the money reaches the woman doing the ‘work’. These girls are advertised through ‘massage parlours’ and occasionally through independent sites. A couple of my friends have worked as ‘madams’ in the brothels where these girls sometimes work and the stories are so bad that they would never even find their way into the most explicit documentary. This is the part of escorting that is damaging to peoples humanity, is exploitative at every stage of the operation & has practically no cross over with what some of my friends & I do.

Was I ever judged harshly? Once or twice...but escorting is only one small part of who I am. I also have a degree from one of the best universities in the UK. I do gymnastics & triathlons, I read loads, love art, etc. so i don’t need to hide any part of myself. I simply try to be tactful so that the preconceived notions people have don’t prevent them from seeing all of who I am

I expect people to always challenge what i do. It makes me question where i am in my life. Is escorting still right for me? It is right now but in 6 months or a year who knows where life will take me...

What is the the most unforgettable experience or moment from your job?

Thats a difficult question to answer. Australia was my favourite travel location although its sufficed to say that I enjoy sun, sea and sex! I am always happiest being active and healthy outdoors.

What does love mean for you? Have you ever been in love? Does your heart belong to someone at the moment?

It’s rare that someone engages me on an emotional level. It’s not my natural posture. However, conversely my friends would probably describe me as verbally and emotionally articulate. As I see it this comes down to a preference for remaining in control but doing so by understanding what’s going on rather than shutting things out.

Amorous love for me is. Hmmmm. Well i’d most succinctly describe it as - surrender, but defined within reason; not to a fatalistic degree like teenagers or Romeo & Juliet haha! I think there is surrender involved in finding the compromise that it takes to form a bond with someone regardless of whether you call that person your partner, your lover or even your submissive!

I was in love a few years ago but right now my heart belongs to myself, the gym & my passport and I’m happy just like this right now haha.

How do you imagine that right person with who you would like to live and build your life together..?

I don’t have a clear picture of anything for my future in that way. I am the author and director of what is to come. I don’t have any intention of releasing myself into the hands of fate and hoping my future turns into a dream i once had or a story i read if you see what i mean. I have hopes for the future but not expectations. When i meet someone, regardless of who they are, i hope that they will meet and surpass everything i believe about the positive capacity & potential of humans but I expect that a lot of the time both them and I will fail to live up to this because we are all imperfect. For me its important that people I’m with treat me with this same reasonable attitude and understanding. Sometimes when people meet me and know what i do and see my pictures and social media they forget that i have my own idiosyncracies and flaws like everyone else.

The only firm criteria I have is that I am able to have the same wild adventures with that person that I have on my own or with friends. I’ve been fortunate enough to have seen some amazing things and anyone i am with longer term needs to expand the scope of my life not limit it.

What are your plans for the future?

My goal is to continue to do what I’m doing and over time develop the personal training that i also do into a fitness business. I am going to become qualified to instruct swimming, yoga, gymnastics & triathlon in addition to qualifications i already have and use them to build a company that focuses on truly functional fitness through sport. When i go into gyms I find it hard seeing how poor most peoples general understanding of training, sport & their own body is. There is so much to learn from sport that can be applied to those with more of an interest in general fitness.

Please, share with me your secret dream?

Unfortunately if i told you…it would no longer be a secret 😛

Thanks for talking with me!

No problem

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ajramseyart · 7 years ago

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Thoughts on Inkober

First off! Congrats to everyone who completed the challenge! You did great! Congrats to everyone who participated that includes the ones that didnt finish, like me! You did Great! We all did great and be proud of what you accomplished!

So this year I only made it to 20 drawings. I have never made it that far for inktober. But this year I feel like I learned some things and noticed some stuff.

I did notice some improvements. Last week I started working on paintings I had started earlier in October and September and noticed some mistakes, fixable ones, thank god. But I also feel like approaching drawing a little bit different now to add more depth to light, shadows and form. Its hard to explain. Ill have to do some tests to see how my thought process on that works.

Posting everyday for inktober on all different social media didnt work out as i planned. For instagram it seemed to hurt my growth and engagement like crazy but noticed it went back to normal after posting every few days so maybe posting on instagram everyday now is bad? Not much growth on twitter but more engagements and conversations which i really enjoyed.

I saw the most growth on here (tumblr) holy cow! Im not sure what brought you all here, if it was my inktober drawings or my autumn witch painting but thank you and I will start posting more painting content soon, actually earlier today I did.

Inktober for me this year was exhausting and I started to burn out pretty quickly. I found myself not enjoying October, which is my favorite month of the year.I even got sick this week. Just not a good month. It was just too difficult juggling creating a new idea everyday, completing that idea, taking pictures, fixing pictures, posting to multiple websites and working and with the posts comes the comments, which i loved! I put responding to those first before starting another picture because I appreciated them so much.

I just realized that i am not the type of artist that can create a completed drawing everyday. I need time to work on something, I am way more happier spending a week on a drawing than a few hours. So I have decided that I will not be doing any more daily drawing challenges. I will still participate in some challenges but I will approach them differently. Maybe do a drawing a week instead of a day.

Its important for me to go at my own pace instead of rushing and making myself miserable. Its supposed to be fun.

For those that follow me and participated in inktober how do you feel now that its over? Will you try it again? Did you learn anything new?

#inktober #inktober2018 #its finally over #art talk #artist on tumblr

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missdipsomaniac · 5 years ago

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This is a funny thing to write , really. It’s quite not cute to write about your singleness is it? But i think I have enough good reason to blog about this season I’m currently at. And I hope this speaks plenty to the many still singles around.

The past few months, I was filled with thoughts of getting married. How could I not? most of my friends are getting engaged, getting married and getting pregnant. And dang, I’m in my late 20’s ! As compared to men, we can get frantically worried about building a family before hitting 30. As I can recall back when I was a little younger my age, I pictured and hoped to be married at the age of 28. Lo and behold, I am still single and no I dont consider myself exclusively dating-just yet.

The past few months I was having these thoughts were the same months I was being given attention by men one after another. From coffee invites to movie dates to just simple constant messaging on social media. I dont for the life of me consider myself a drop dead gorgeous woman. In fact, there are certain days I feel completely opposite. I don’t strike conversation ahead of them neither allow myself to do the first move no matter how attracted I may be to someone (the boldest thing I did was to add some men I admire on facebook). despite my somewhat old fashioned belief, to my surprise, some find me interesting-at least-probably. And honestly, just like any relational human being , I was finding it cute and uplifting.

So why am I still single despite few others expressing their desire to want to get to know me? I’d simply put it this way-which may be ambiguous but speaks affluent truth.. You see, I was no longer looking for a boy who’ll sweep me off my feet and make me giggle every time. I was no longer looking for mere sweet-somethings, I was looking or should I say, waiting for a man who may not have it all together but has the backbone to have to try.I was looking for a commitment, a partner and a help-meet. .I WANTED TO FEEL A CERTAIN CONNECTION. To date, I haven’t really felt it yet.

It’s not about having high standards really. Men would always box us in as if we placed ourselves too high on a pedestal we seem unreachable. LIE. Women’s standards are realistic and attainable. Men just dont have the balls to exert effort and see if they fit the bill. Much more, courage to endure if they don’t.

Connection. Why is connection important ? Tight Relationships are more likely to form and endure when couple shares the same ideas, values,desires, principles and interests and oh I dont mean to say we have to be the exact DNA of each other, no. We have to understand that a common ground has to be established. They say opposites attract but that didnt prove to be always true . Even scientific studies prove its unlikelihood. If I were an adventurous, outgoing , well rounded woman, what are the chances my relationship with someone who is a stay at home kind of person, introvert be of much success? I mean no offense to others whose relationship is a success despite being completely opposite because certainly, there are and there will but I was talking about the likelihood. Percentage and numbers on quite a few studies proved to be true -that successful relationships are those that share similarity more than the differences.

Waiting is gaining. Cliche as it may seem, singleness is a gift not everyone had a chance to enjoy. I cannot downplay this gift for this is where I found myself more productive, more purposeful, more knowledgeable, more independent and more mature. This season is riping me up for harvest (next season). It’s quite funny that the books I’ve been raving to read are books about marriage when I am not even in a relationship and no way near to it because apparently, no one has levelled up , to say the least. Nonetheless, it gives me so much wisdom I am sure to thank myself for having to know early on. Marriage is no walk in the park and just as news about divorce and annulments arise left and right, we may be quick to question if not get fearful about it. Surprisingly, even hollywood superstars are no exception. The couples we were rooting for ended up seperating their own ways. You see, money, fame, status and beauty cannot make a relationship work. It’s an uphill journey one must be willing to endure. There’s no specific formula nor a book who could offer a perfect relationship advice, really. But given the ample time to prepare and learn about it seemed to be more beneficial than having none. The waiting season has had smoothen my rough edges and more importantly, had me countless realizations on self discovery. There’s no greater joy than feeling happy on your own skin and being able to accomplish anything at your own pace and time. Sure, waiting is not as easy as cutting potatoes- it may be tedious, tiring and demotivating but having a positive perspective on its process makes a whole lot of difference.

What to do. Single hood is the season for cultivating yourself, your relationship with others and your relationship with God among others. This is the perfect time to hone your skills, to build community and to know God more deeply in a personal level. For self discovery, go travel, dine alone, watch a movie alone, read more books, attend trainings, hone your talents , learn to cook, do the laundry, volunteer to outreach events and anything in between you could think of to become productive. Build a strong relationship with the people around you specifically your family. Meet with friends, be present on family occasions, organize gatherings , socialize, be present. And above all, in whatever you do, include the Lord heartily. Engage in church activities, read your bible, be consistent with your devotions, join a ministry and share His love to others. There is no specific checklist really. How you make use of your time determines your priority. A productive , fulfilled and happy single life will most likely lead to a happy and fulfilled marriage too.

Who to choose. I’m no relationship guru and not trying to be one. I have had a fair share of relationship mishaps over the years. I saw the difference between a man who fears God and a man who doesn’t manifest a God in his life at all. It’s clear to me what kind of partner I’m looking for. Whether you are a man searching for the right fit or a woman waiting for the right one , pray for someone who loves God more than anything. Sure, Every person who marries is a sinner, so the search for a spouse isn’t a pursuit of perfection, but a mutually flawed pursuit of Jesus. If it scares him that I have a relationship with God, should it not scare me more to have someone in my life intimidated by what’s supposedly he should be looking for in a partner? When push comes to shove, will he stick with me after finding out we were not as “compatible” as we once before? Or will he marvel at God’s love and live it out in light of our differences? We gotta discern well.

Yes, society may pin down on our throats the urgency to get married but clearly, we should know better than them. Giving parts of our hearts to someone is a significant risk. We don’t really need to have our hearts broken, shattered and bruised to find what we’re looking for. Timing has been one of God’s little secret. Not too soon and not too late. I always remind myself of the verse from Habakkuk 2:3 “for the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.“

Yes, I may be single in my late twenties but that doesn’t make me any less of a woman. Im saving the best of me and not what’s left of me for my spouse.

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morningpages-louise · 7 years ago

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November 01 - Setting intentions for November, looking back at 2018 so far, and Reminders and affirmations of life.

it's fucking november. what the fuck. this month, no this year, it went by so fast. i literally say that every year tho. we all do. why is that? the worst part is, most of us, including me, go by it without being mindful. without appreciating the things happening before us. we just kind of let these moments slide right through us. we forget to be mindful. we forget to take a breath, look around and appreciate. appreciate all that we have. appreciate this moment right here which will never ever be replicated. instead, we thinkin about what's lacking. we think about what could make these moments better. we bring in negativity into an otherwise perfect moment. it's annoying as hell but we all do it, we do it unconsciously. this negativity should not and will not rule over our lives. that's why this November, I VOW TO BE MORE MINDFUL--take deeper breathes. take things slower. not overthink every single fucking situation and just allowing each moment to pass. i really want to spend less time infront of my screen too. engaging in mindless social media which is so damn bad i dont know why im sucked into it so much :( but yeah. i just want to go back to the basics. slow down. appreciate. and cherish these last 2 months that I have left. because i will never have these months left. appreciate and take into grattitude.

i would also really like to just look at this year that went by because it's almost coming to a close. 2 months. you know what i find myself being so busy but I must never forget who i am and who my values are and what i value and why i took up all these opportunities in the first place -- for growth, to develop myself, to step out of my comfort zone and become more of the person who i am bound to be, whoever that is. sometimes i really feel like im being sucked in the system. it's like i forget the reason why i decided to do this work in the first place. and it's so damn important to never lose that. never lose that meaning and that reason and that drive that pushed us to try this new thing out in the first place. so damn important. huhu i feel like im on my flow. i love it when these moments come. work starts to be on autodrive and my mind is clearer, and i feel more motivated to work and all. but yes, it's november 2 now. i started writing this november 1. I feel like when i started this term, i had a grip on my life. i had so much free time. i had a routine set in motion, but then it felt at times like i was just doing certain things for that tick on my planner, which is one of the reasons i stopped using my green bulletjournal. and i was just setting myself up to do so many things -- listen to the news, meditate, write, yoga, and all that stuff and the reality is, as simple as these tasks may be, i just didn't have the time to do most of the stuff and i wanted to do it out of impulse and not out of force, although i do know that that force is what makes certain tasks habits but you get what i mean. so yeah ive completely gotten rid of that way of living. now, it's just me and a black empty canvas and i kind of just choose how i go about my day. the things i want to do more of are

--> Find more time to Read. god, it's been so hard to slip in a quick 30 minutes or even a goddamn chapter :( i get so anxious man gud. so even if i do find a little hole for me to do what i love doing so much, i get an anxious feeling in the back of my mind which is annoying as hell.

--> Indulge in creative projects. no, not write for the sake of my damn internship and shit but create projects that give me joy. i feel like its so important to find time to do these things because being creative is a sort of portal to your soul. it taps into your consciousness and what interests you, what aspects fascinate you and all that stuff. for me, i'd really love to create more personal videos about important moments in my life. i've only done one video about my birthday but it felt so damn great to be honest. the next one i would like to do would be a video about my unit because that unit i hold so close to my heart man. so many memories. so many moments. so many people whove spent a certain amount of time at one point of their lives. im really obsessed with memories. i love saving them. i love keeping them and organizing them so i can look through them from time to time. yup i guess im floating. that's the song im listening to now. it's awesome. it feels like im stuck in a particular moment. held within time. that kind of stuff. god writing feels so good. it gives me a fucking high. makes me tap into my consciousness and check in on how im feeling. okay anyways getting a bit off track.

--> spend more time appreciating things and being in the moment rather than on social media. cmon guys, it's practically the last 60 days of 2018 and im gonna spend it attached to my goddamn phone? nuh-uh. the time for living should be now. the time for being aware and savoring every little moments and creating memories and cherishing them and just taking moments to feel goddamn alive you know. make this year worth something.

but honestly, it's hard to really look back at this year and see the growth that has transcended over the course of the few months. it's hard to look back because im living in it right now and i don't know. right now, it doesn't really feel like much has changed. it doesn't really feel like ive grown. or ive changed or ive bloomed which was literally this year's motto dba. that's why my peg for the whole year was a sunflower, inspired by tylor the creator's album sunflowers or whatever it was called. i still feel the same. i have felt like im the same person for so long to be honest. it never really feels like ive changed, but i bet i have. i just fail to see it. but honestly in terms of headspace, i can honestly say that i feel like im in a better place. im more at peace with certain aspects of my thoughts. ofcourse, i don't think we can ever really be fully at peace with ourselves, but in some way i feel like ive mended certain parts. i'm not in so much pain anymore. when i started the year, i had just broken up with my boyfriend of almost three years. ofcourse i still think about him every now and then, how can you not honestly especially when you spend so much time with a person like that, and it does still pain me when he chats with me to ask something or when i see him because i get a little hope extinguished in me of us getting back together even though i know in the end, despite everything, that we're better off apart. we're better off not together. because it was getting so bad. there was no fire. there was nothing. i felt like i was just forcing myself at times to like him. i didnt even look forward to seeing him whenever i came back from Manila, and that's not a good sign at all. so yeah, i know the most annoying advice ever is when people say time heals. it's so frustrating because you can't really do anyhing but let time heal you and well, it's true. it sucks but its so true. in time, you will just hurt less. there will be a time when his name comes up and it doesn't hurt so much or your thoughts don't start jumping up into nostalgic memories of the both of you. strangers again. it sucks but its the reality, i guess. i knw we shouldn't be together. we weren't a good match no matter how much nstalgia tells you otherwise. but i really really really hope to become good friends with him atleast. not be so fucking scared whenever im about to see him. not feel like i have to drink a whole fucking liter of beer before i see him. because in all honestly, he was such a good friend. so caring and so kind and he always tried to make a positive situation out of something so negative. his optimism sometimes annoyed the shit out of me especially when we were together because it's not as easy to just say like oh don't think about it like that. life is so much more complicated than that. its' a lot more complex. hay i really miss talking to him. he was such a good person to just let everything out to. i miss that the most. but it's okay. i have this morning thoughts now dba? to let everything out and just dump my thoughts and whats been circulating nonstop in my mind. cge anyways, what else. i feel healed. i feel like my headspace is better. well--i also feel like ive gotten better with regards to my connections. i love how this year, ive added new people to my circle. my favorite part. i love how this year has opened me to meeting more people. it has also let me become closer to my existing relationships. made it stronger and that makes me so happy. probably the most important thing i learned this year was the importance of connections, and that no man is an island. no matter how introverted we may be, we can't survive without having connected with other people. i really just want to have more of those throughout my life--genuine connections. where i can be myself and they can be themselves. and where we actually enjoy each others companies. not lackluster, shallow relationships that never seem to go beyond a certain level you know. i want deep, loving, intimate connections. i wish to find a tribe of people where i feel supported and everything. my life goal. but yeah im happy ive opened myself up to meeting new people. probably the biggest development of this year is well the fact that i now have an internship-say what? and or a company ive been following for quite some time nonetheless, mad travel. this whole year i feel like ive been trying to get a job and now i finally have found the time to do so and it makes me happy :) atleast. i know i am capable of gainig jobs and putting myself out there. i feel more confident applying for my jobs and my resue is looking fine. and although my internship is actually sort of a source of stress and anxiety these days, i shouldnt take it so goddamn seriously because in 2-3 years i will just look back at these moments and it wont even matter. what mattered is i did my best. i shouldnt take my work so seriously gyud. that's why i hate turning down friends or turning down invitations for my fucking work because in the end we all fucking die. in the end whatever titles we may have at the moment wont even fucking matter you know. we all die in the end so just live unapologetically and bear yourself to the world. that's so damn difficult and i feel like we take life so damn seriously. we really need to loosen up and have fun and not overthink every single fucking thing. why are we all so damn anxious? it makes me so angry like goddamn get it together. we have lost the true essence and meaning of our lives. we have forgotten why we are here in the first place. to love. to feel. to experience. to learn and most of all, to enjoy. okay that's my ted talk. goodbye and sayonarra.

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kindofabigdealyo-blog · 8 years ago

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Youtility Jay Baers Real-World Helpful Marketing Smarts

Are you tired of social media pundits who claim that the key to social and online success is to get engagement!, create virality, just be awesome!? What does that even mean, anyway? Most business still struggle with engagement, no one can create guaranteed viral content and being awesome (as in, the next big, exciting thing) is just not something most business can do!

What is Youtility?

Youtility to the rescue! The phrase used by Jay is meant to replace content marketing. Though they mean the same thing, Youtility takes some of the mystery out of the term and makes it seem much more attainable to the average business owner. Both terms mean creating website pages, blog posts, email messages, ebooks, mobile apps, whitepapers, and videos that are helpful to your audience. Content that is so useful people would pay for it but they dont have to.

Wait, Isnt He Telling Me To Give Away My Business Secrets?

On our blog, we give away tons of information. From how-tos to strategy and blogging checklists, its all there for anyone who wants it. I have had some people tell me that Im shooting myself in the foot by giving away so much. If you tell them how to do it, why should they pay you to do it? Well, the truth is, and this is covered in the book my best customers are those who have tried to do it themselves, maybe even with the help of my free content. These business often come to the conclusion that it is too complicated and time-consuming and that it is well worth their money to have me do it instead. By the time they have come to this conclusion, they know the value of the work we are going to do, and they understand what theyre paying for.

Youtility Features for the Short-Attention-Span Reader

For those who dont particularly like to read an entire book, Jay included an Easy Reference Guide section that outlines key points of each chapter. Trust me, after you read them, you will want to read the whole thing. This is so helpful for going back to find key points you want to remember.

The book is full of compelling facts and figures, In B2B, customers will contact a sales rep only after independently completing 60 percent of the purchasing-decision process. But he doesnt leave you wondering what to do with the information. Through real-world examples and adaptable suggestions, hell help you put it to use for yourself.

My favorite quote might be this, stop trying to be amazing and start being useful. We cant all be amazing, but we CAN all be useful.

I received a free copy of Youtility after I attended a conference at which Jay spoke (thoroughly enjoyed his parts, too). Funny thing is, I received ANOTHER free copy a few days later. As much as I love this book, I dont really need two of them, so Im giving one away with our first Pinterest giveaway. Get the details here.

If You Do Nothing Else

Check out one example of Youtility: look up Charmins mobile app, Sit or Squat. Yup, its kind of funny, but its also incredibly useful, and thats the point!

Interested in making your marketing more useful? We can help! It starts with a free review of your current marketing programs, so call 800.305.9420 x1 or book your consultation here!

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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41 People Confess The Secret Theyll NEVER Tell Their Significant Other

Found on AskReddit.

1. Our son is not his, but his brother’s.

That our son is not his, but his brother’sbecause his brother stayed with us for a period of time before he found a job, and when he would go on business trips his brother would lay in bed with me.

2. I’m gay.

I’m gay.

3. I might be gay.

That I might like guys as well.

4. Her best friend is better in bed.

Her best friend is better in bed…

5. Ive jerked off to the thought of her sister.

That my girlfriend’s sister looks kinda like porn star Gianna Michaels and that I’ve jerked off to Gianna Michaels’ scenes but imagined my girlfriend’s sister.

6. I don’t love him anymore.

That I don’t love him anymore.

7. I think its time to break up.

That I think it’s time for us to go our separate ways because we are not right for each other.

8. I feel unappreciated and unloved a lot of the time.

How unappreciated and unloved I feel a lot of the time.

9. I think hes boring.

That I think he’s boring…Im pushing him more to go out and meet new people and find hobbies he’s interested in, also for the sake of his mental health, but I just really don’t want to be the only person coming up with ideas for activities or having friends to meet up with.

10. Ive become a closet alcoholic in response to her alcoholism.

That I’ve become a closet alcoholic due to the stress caused by a) her losing her job because of her own alcoholism and leaving me the sole burden of keeping a roof over our heads and b) helping her maintain her sobriety. The irony is crushing me.

11. My wife is stupid.

My wife is stupid and I hope she’ll never find out. I love stupid people. When 2+2 = rocket ship its impossible to predict anything. It keeps the relationship fresh.

12. I secretly want to peg my boyfriend.

I secretly want to peg my boyfriend.

13. I think about suicide…like, a lot.

I think about suicide…like, a lot. I don’t have any plans to go through with it, but I’m currently living with some major medical problems. I have chronic pain, and I need help for a lot of day-to-day activities. It’s bad enough that I have days where I think about ending it, but as much as I’m hurting, I couldn’t do that to my wife or my family.

14. Im no longer in love with her.

That I’m no longer in love with her but she’s been suicidal and I’m scared of what will happen if I tell her…

15. I’m pretty sure we’re on the path of breaking up.

That I’m pretty sure we’re on the path of breaking up. Not right now, not in a week, not even in a month but that’s where we’re going. I know he loves me but I don’t think he’s in love with me anymore and I also think he hasn’t realised this because there isn’t really someone else he likes. Once he realizes this or someone he likes more comes into the picture, we’re done.

16. I was the one who ate her leftovers.

One time I ate her leftovers and when she asked if I knew where they went I said no. I still feel guilt about it to this day.

17. I masturbate a lot.

How much I masturbate. He thinks it’s like a few times a month — a conclusion he came to on his own and I never corrected. It’s really a few times a week.

18. I am an atheist.

She was religious, I pretended to be religious, too. I am an atheist.

19. I still smoke cigarettes.

If I’m away for whatever reason I will have a few cigs. She thinks I quit years ago but all I want is to smoke, endlessly. Like that episode of friends where chandler smokes a carton.

20. I have $100k in a secret, separate account.

I have $100k in a secret, separate account not to hide it from her but to be the hero if we ever need it in an emergency.

21. Sometimes I pretend to go to work.

Once in a while I pretend to go to work but instead I’ll go have breakfast while my wife goes to work then once she texts me she’s at work I go back home and chill all day watching Netflix or playing Fifa.

22. I really REALLY don’t want to move to her hometown.

That I really REALLY don’t want to move to her hometown when my current contract is up. There’s not much work for me there and what little there is is badly paid. Add to that that I’ll know nobody, that I don’t speak the language all too well, etc. etc….

23. I’m glad when sometimes he is away on a business trip.

That I’m glad when sometimes he is away on a business trip. It’s nice to be alone sometimes. I’m an introvert.

24. I watch porn sometimes when he isn’t home.

That I watch porn sometimes when he isn’t home.

25. Im in tons of debt.

How much debt I’m actually inour finances are completely separate so it’s not hurting him or his credit score…I would be completely embarrassed if he knew just how often I was completely broke by the next payday. if it stay on course, I should be good in 10 months….just paid one thing off this month, and have 8 payments left on 2, and 10 on anotherthen all I will have is my car paymenthopefully then I can start making extra payments on either his jeep or mine.

26. Im afraid Im not enough for her.

How insecure I am of not being enough for her. It burst out twice and she confirmed I am more than enough but the feeling that she deserves better doesnt leave.

27. I’m attracted to women twice her age.

That I’m attracted to women twice her age.

28. I was sexually assaulted.

That I was sexually assaulted. Not something that comes up in everyday conversation, and something that is especially hard to reveal to someone you are currently engaged in a sexual relationship with. Always a fear that they will somehow see you differently. I was only able to admit it to my ex after we broke up.

29. I stalk his ex on social media.

I stalk his ex on social media and have no idea why.

30. I dont need sex.

That sex is not something I want or feel I need. I love him. He’s attractive. I enjoy the intimacy but not the actual act. It’s not him. I often just feel… not sexual. I could take it or leave it but it means so much to him (understandably so).

31. I don’t like crowds of people.

I don’t like crowds of people. But when he wants to go mingle at a party or gathering I keep the fact that I wish I was anywhere else to myself.

32. I have a gambling addiction.

I have a gambling addiction. We don’t yet live together and it so far has no effect on her. I’m doing my best to break it before it becomes a problem for both of us.

33. I still smoke pot.

That I smoke pot even after I said I quit a few years ago, I know its no big deal in this day, but it is to her.

34. I legally changed my name when I was 18.

That I legally changed my name when I was 18. I just dropped my first name and made my middle name my first name. I moved after high school (I never ever liked my name and I wanted to change it since I was 12). He hasn’t met any of my childhood friends or family and we’re going back to my hometown in April so he can meet them. But I’m nervous. I don’t expect people that knew me up until 18 to call me by my new name all of a sudden but I’m also sure they’ll be surprised that he calls me by my new name. Maybe I’ll just tell him the truth or say that the name they call me is my middle name and everyone just called me that for some reason. And I’ll tell my childhood friends/family that I told everyone to call me by my middle name when I moved away since they all know how much I hated it.

…my family/friends don’t know I legally changed my name either. Just one, and that’s because I needed someone to testify that I’ve lived in my province for longer than a year.

35. I had an abortion.

That I had an abortion.

I was young, in an immature relationship and in no position to be able to look after two lives.

I’m now in one of the best relationships in terms of love and friendship and we have the most beautiful daughter together.

Maybe I’ll tell him one day. Just maybe.

36. My life would be over without her.

That my life would be over without her and I’ll never find someone better.

37. I cheated on her while she was in jail.

My current is the first few months we dated she got put in jail for a month, and I cheated on her with a girl who I used to work with that I’d ran into. Wasn’t planned thing, we hung out alot, they knew bout each other..One day .One thing led to another and..I broke it off w friend a day later BC I wasn’t bout to lose the hpoa I had.

38. I will eventually break up with her because she does not want kids.

That I will eventually break up with her because she does not want kids. It’s killing me to delay the talk because things are so good, but that right there, is a deal-breaker for me. I figure I’ll tell her after this summer since we planned a vacation.

39. I want her to be bisexual.

I want her to be bisexual.

40. I put all the stuff on the high shelves just to see her butt when she reaches for it.

That I put all the stuff on the high shelves, in the wrong place, on purpose just to see her butt when she reaches for it to put it back.

41. Im a straight dude, but I really want to try sucking a dick.

I’m a straight dude who’s happily married to a woman, and I really want to try sucking a dick.