#its less of an issue with just this specifically i guess. its sorta tied into a general worrying pattern of apathy and irony poisoning imo

[gay--dog]

can anyone engage with art normally or are we just forever stuck in a world where the only way anyone can interact with a piece of media is through gleefully missing the entire point and cramming everything into sanitized fandom slop archetypes and ship dynamics. just wondering

[s-mething-mbti]

Hiya! I just discovered your blog and was wondering if you could help try to type me (sorry this is pretty long)

1. I’m currently pretty torn between the intuitive introverts. I was able to narrow it down to INTJ, INFJ or INTP. I’m about 97.2% sure I use Ni. The only thing that’s giving me a bit of doubt is I find myself occasionally learning for the sake of learning which I’ve found is a traditionally Ne trait. Despite this I’m still pretty sure I use Ni as when I go down a rabbit hole and start learning for the sake of learning its always about a topic that interests me or is entertaining. I won’t waste my time learning about something I find mundane or drab. I resonate a lot with Ni’s “aha” moments where the correct answer simply pops into my head or a vision suddenly seems clear or a plot holes solution suddenly seems painstakingly obvious. I also resonate with starting out with a broader range of information/ possibilities and narrowing it down to one or two things. Another intuitive thing I highly relate to is living in the future. If almost never living in the present, and a constantly fixate on the future. I have a distinct, clear, and well thought out plan for the next 20 years (give or take).

Where I run into a bit of trouble is when I try to figure out which judging functions I predominantly use. It honestly feels like I use them all (though I know you’re only supposed to be able to use two well). For example I plan out everything, and set deadlines for myself. My desk often seems really messy to others especially when I’m doing art. This isn’t because I don’t value cleanliness, but because it simply makes more sense to keep all my art supplies out rather than having to spend at least fifteen minutes taking them out and then putting them away only to take them right back out the next day. I set goals based off of easily measurable, external things such as time, or grades. I make daily to do lists that outline everything I’ll need to do in the day, and some stuff to focus on if I have extra time. With my to do list I also plan out the approximate time each thing should take. When coming up with a scientific theory, I take others opinions/theories and test them against each other, and current scientific laws in order to formulate the most probable theory. External opinions (in a scientific/ logical manner) mean a lot to me (I don’t really care about how people that aren’t my friends think of me). To me these things seem very Te. But then I’m always smiling and am a fairly warm person. I want my friends to be happy, and I want to help others. I despise emotionally driven conflict(though I love debates), and while I’m not afraid to disrupt it if it threatens my morals/ is promoting something blatantly wrong (factually or morally) I do really harmony. These seem like pretty Fe things to me. As for Fi, I rarely share my negative emotions, preferring to deal with them predominantly alone. While I may not talk about them much I also have EXTREMELY strong morals. If something is crossing them I’m not going to simply ignore it for the sake of harmony. While I tend to be private I do try to be as authentic as possible. My morals are derived by information I’ve collected and decisions I’ve made myself, rather than being derived by ‘the groups’ collective morals if that makes sense. To me these things appear to be very Fi. As for Ti, sometimes I enjoy learning simply for the sake of learning. The knowledge may have no practical use to me but if I find it interesting or want to learn about it I can devote hours to it. I try and come to the most logical/accurate conclusion possible, and when I’m offering advice I may offer additional advice that takes different variables into account. The truth is really important to me as well.

2. Reading. I absolutely ADORE reading(specifically fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian books or research/scientific articles about topics that interest me). For reference there was a period of time when I had some free time and I was reading 2 or 3 books a day? Read maybe 50 books in the span of 20 days? But yeah I absolutely love reading. Just he way the book sucks you in and deposits you and a completely new world full of wonder and disaster and ugh it’s just magnificent. And don’t even get me started on impeccable character development and eeee. The way rereading a book feels like you’re reconnecting with an old best friend or going back to your childhood home and *sobs*. I also LOVE trying to predict plot twists and character deaths. Most of the time I can predict things correctly and idk it’s really fun to just try and figure out what’s going to happen before the big reveal. And the rush of satisfaction you get when you’ve guessed something right- it also helps me brace for character deaths (sorta. For example I knew *the* death in the final empire [by Brandon Sanderson] was coming since nearly the very beginning [I had my suspicions since the moment vin was introduced] but I still sobbed when the character died. [a tad off topic but what caused me to cry wasn’t the death itself but another characters reaction to it. This is often the case I find. A death of a character I love leaves me feeling empty but what typically gets me to cry is the others reactions- for thus reason funerals usually make me cry. I should also add that I only cry when I’m alone. I’ve cried around people (that aren’t my parents) a grand total of 1 time.]

Uh and daydreaming. I’m almost always daydreaming. Ie. if my brain was a search engine or whatever one tab would be reality and I would consecutively have at lest 20 other tabs open. Some of then playing videos (daydreams) others supplying music(if I’m not actively listening to real music my brain cycles through songs I have memorized. Occasionally does this with book scenes too if I’m bored [yes, I memorize some of my favourite scenes, word for word, so I can play them like a movie in my head when I, bored) others containing random info (just me thinking random stuff) etc.

3. I guess how to solve some problems? Wether it’s a math or science problem, or an argument between friends, figuring out how to solve things has always been something I’m decently good at. Math and science just. Make sense. And then with issues between people I’m good at looking at different perspectives (even ones that I don’t agree with) and playing out different scenarios/ possible outcomes of different approaches. This lets me come up with a solution that will successfully solve the problem with the least amount of negative ramifications involved

4. Hmm maybe being present? I honestly feel like life is passing me by and I’m just immobilized on the sidelines. Im so far into the future that I kinda forget to actually *live* every once in a while.

5. Honesty? Truth? Morals? These topics are all really interesting as they can be kinda subjective. The line between honesty and cruelty is so small. What is truth? Cause while yes, we have some set truths (such as the earth is orbiting the sun) so many ‘truths’ are simply subjective and completely depend on ones perspective. And morals my goodness. The stormlight archive is a really fun series that plays around with things like what is justice? And honour? I won’t get into it now but it brings up so many really interesting questions regarding morals.

6. Perspective . I think perspective is such a fascinating thing. Just. Different opinions. Seeing the world through completely different lenses. Interpreting the same thing in utterly different ways. When toying around with an idea I find it really fun to try and imagine opposing perspectives. While I can find different perspectives really interesting, they can also well... get on my nerves to say the least. Sometimes someone perspective is just? So blatantly wrong? And has absolutely no factual evidence backing it up? And part of me wants to just just scream and it would be so much easier if everyone just. Assessed the facts in front of them instead of making wild accusations or whatever without anything to support them. But yeah overall I think perspectives are really cool and they’re part of what helps to make the world diverse and life so much less interesting without different perspectives.

The future. I’ve found a bunch of my friends find thinking about the future stressful but if I’m being honest I find solace in thinking about the future. Having things planned out and knowing what I intend to do/ where I want to go takes off so much stress. I lowkey live in the future and I honestly cannot wait till it comes, and I achieve my goals. While I might be a bit scared the future excites me so much more than it’ll ever scare me.

7. Maybe add some more stuff about the judging functions and feelings and thinking etc . I absolutely adore science and math. I literally do math for fun. I’m currently aiming to get my PhD in astrophysics.

Not sure if this is relevant at all but my biggest (harmless) pet peeves are my grandmother’s door stopper (it always gets stuck in the door and then u can’t get it out and the door won’t close properly- I have an unhealthy amount of hatred for that thing AHAHJSEJKSMDJDJDJJ) and when people say some variant of “you did good”. Like nO NO YOU DID NOT DO gOoD. YOU DID W E L L (Anyways theres my little mini rant).

I’m my friend groups therapist (sorta). While I’m really not good with words and recycle the same three responses I always let everyone know that I’m here for them and they can talk to me without judgement etc. While I really don’t know what to say or do I try my best because I care about my friends and want to help them. I love them and so I want them to be able to be happy. Im always smiling (though this is more so because people don’t ask me how I’m doing when I look happy than because I’m genuinely happy. Most of the time I’m he farthest thing from that). I’m a pretty warm person who’s always happy to help, however I’m very introverted. I haven’t had a single conversation with the majority of people in my class (I’ve had a convo with maybe 5. Talk to 2 regularly. There are 26 people in my class). I never express negative emotions (with the exception of stress- I panic intensely in the 5 minutes immediately before taking a test as this helps me to completely turn off my nerves while I’m writing the exam. I may also make a joke or two about my negative emotions with close friends). I should also add that when making decisions I value logic more and think thinks through thoroughly, examining the pros and cons etc. While I take feelings and emotions into consideration when making decisions they’re more like an additional variable to consider rather than the main driving force that determines my decision. If I’m feeling really emotional and I need to make a decision I will postpone deciding until I feel more levelheaded. I’m really not impulsive in the slightest.

Thank you so much!!

INTJ

Living in the future rather than the present and your comfort in that sapce, your ability for and enjoyment of making predictions, your ability to really understand and try on different perspectives you don’t necessarily agree with, your focus on “ramifications” (aka future implications) while problem solving - this all points to high Ni.

You also show a Te preference - goals based on external metrics, to-do lists for daily tasks, logic based on the outer world (external opinion). When you said “While I take feelings and emotions into consideration when making decisions they’re more like an additional variable to consider rather than the main driving force that determines my decision” - that is a clear cut definition of Te over Fe preference.

Your tertiary Fi shows through here as well - willing to disrupt harmony if it upsets your morals, your morals being personally derived, needing to understand your emotions while alone. And lastly, your statement about “forgetting to live” from being in the future is pretty textbook inferior Se. 

[abjectaspiringfailure]

Hello, in your response to one of my previous asks you mentioned that rc cells functioned like the Blacklight Virus did in Prototype. If I may ask, how so? Also, on a more random note, what would you think if there were a one-eyed ghoul featured in the series who was like Alex Mercer?

Hello, in your response to one of my previous asks you mentioned that rc cells functioned like the Blacklight Virus did in Prototype. If I may ask, how so?

Sorry this took so long to get to.

So as a preface for this post, I don’t personally believe Ishida was invoking these things in a way where he thought “this is primarily meant to be seen through the lens of the original 2009 [PROTOTYPE]”, but it is an interesting coincidence. Both Tokyo Ghoul and Prototype have a unique design style, and the result is a story that if you rush through will leave you going “well I guess things are complete but uh.... what?” Which is why Tokyo Ghoul had such a vast meta community that formed, and why Prototype has an active theory crafting community given its size and relative obscurity. Both have a web of intrigue that needed to be solved to get a good grasp on the story and arguably many things of importance are said and done offscreen.

I got absorbed in going on about both Prototype and Tokyo Ghoul, so I’m going back to put this here. I enjoyed how both of these series were basically puzzles to be solved, and I think both are misunderstood (though Tokyo Ghoul moreso than Prototype). I ended up writing a lot about the similarities that pertained to the question in the sense that there were ways the virus and RC cells had some similarities, but I ended up trimming it down significantly. So uh.

DX1118 functions by rewriting the host’s DNA to replicate. In most cases, there is death via organ failure. What “failure” and “lethality” means in the case of DX1118 is varied just like it is in Tokyo Ghoul with “success” and “floppies”; although the virus kills people, it brings them back as monsters. I’m tempted to believe this is referring to the attempts to weaponize the virus in the sense of creating super soldiers; a prelude to the DX1120 variant. The one mentioned to be Redlight explicitly has a 99.999 lethality rate.

In the case of DX1118 and its offshoots, “releasing what’s already there” means activating the non-coding areas of the genome. Essentially, the powers bestowed upon those who survive the virus in Prototype are not the result of the virus by itself, but rather the virus using things inside the human genome for mutations. The human genome actually has a rather hefty chunk of it made out of viruses that infected our ancestors and stayed in their system, roughly about 4 - 8%.

 I see Tokyo Ghoul humans as naturally progressing towards becoming ghouls due to RC cells and the way they adapted to the humans and influenced their genetic development. RC cells are not normal for humans, but the humans of the Tokyo Ghoul universe do not understand that because it seems to be the only thing they have ever known. An RC count of 200 - 500 is considered healthy and average. I believe RC cells are much like the viruses that inhabit the human genome; they’re something that’s been there all along in the Tokyo Ghoul universe.

I believe ghouls aren’t the result of just an entirely new species developing entirely separately but coincidentally being mirror replicas of humans down to anatomy, blood types, thought patterns, bone structures, and their ability to swap organs, but rather something that is the result of the RC cells in the system mutating them into new entities over time. RC cells, like the Blacklight virus, are very mutagenic. Unlike the Blacklight virus, I see most of these changes as being more gradual in the line of human -> ghoul.

It would go human - > human with “special investigator genes” (with RC cells that normal human levels but ghoul quality) -> human with “special investigator genes” and latent ROS genes having children with someone in the same position -> ghoul who cannot use a kagune (such as G&G) -> ghoul who can use a kagune -> ghoul with kakuja mutation genes - > ghoul with kakuja genes having children with kakuja genes - > kakuja

It’s more complex than that because of the way Ishida spread the information about with regards to ghoul and human biology. There’s also a lot of stuff that goes into that, with regards to ROS in both humans and ghouls, and stuff that I feel needs to be expanded upon. Eg stuff about the Oggai’s Frame A/Frame B divide, Nutcracker’s RC levels being listed as explicitly two separate types, kagunes and kakujas showing a consistent pattern of having traits of two RC types, Urie’s One Eye (Frame A)/Two Eye (Frame B), the Washuu breeding program, and how this all factors together (in the way I see it).

To get back to Blacklight and the similarities, I said this in the post you’re referring to, but I don’t think the Dragon toxin caused “ROS like symptoms”, I think the Dragon just caused ROS by increasing the RC cell levels of anyone it touched while introducing Washuu “born kakuja” genetics that can apparently form extra kakuhou pretty easily. Because there was so many cases, there was too many people to treat at once, and therefore they turned into ghouls. Usually, because the disease is so rare and much slower, it’s more controllable.

Shirazu’s sister, for example, didn’t have her ROS caused by RC cells from something so severe and there weren’t hundreds of thousands of other people who were infected, so Haru’s ROS was both slower and the resources to control it were more readily available.

When it comes to DX1118 and its variants, and RC Cells, I’m of the opinion that they work in different methods, but the effects are similar. Blacklight’s origin and true purpose is greatly muddled due to the way Prototype is written. Like Tokyo Ghoul, multiple pieces of information are ambiguous or outright lies.

There were many differing stories about what the true purpose of the Blacklight virus was - ranging from some type of super human serum meant to increase human strength and intellect, to a weapon designed to kill off specific ethnic groups, to some evolutionary compound meant to force the planet to change into a new being, to some form of inevitability that would have to be engaged regardless. This makes a lot of the information involved murky; this is actually acknowledged in universe as being completely intentional. The actual origins of DX1118 isn’t stated, as far as we can tell from the information given, it just sort of popped up out of nowhere.

The origin of RC cells is also shrouded in mystery. Ghouls are a worldwide phenomenon, so, logically, RC cells should be universal. Otherwise, ghouls would not be able to feed. It is also stated that a normal, healthy human being has between 200 - 500 RC cells, which implies that not having any RC cells is considered either unhealthy or abnormal. I’d speculate that RC cells themselves would therefore have to be either hundreds of thousands of years old and tied to the evolution of humans in the Tokyo Ghoul universe, or, spread like a contagion. The Washuu themselves became “born Kakujas” due to centuries of cannibalization before they even made it to Japan, and by the the time the Washuu became known as legendary human ghoul hunters, they were already almost indistinguishable from the local population and were identified as Japanese nobility.

So, their origins are rather different, but they have the same air of mystery about them, and they touch on similar topics. The methods they get used is different, but the conspiracy has significant overlap.

The way Blacklight works when it infects a host is via changing the host cell by activating the non-coding regions of the genome. A substantial chunk of the human genome is actually believed to be now dormant viruses that infected our ancestors, who survived them, and lived on to procreate. In Prototype, this translates to the virus mutating the human body to achieve superhuman abilities, in theory? In actuality, the failure rates of the virus are rather substantial. But if you reword it, 99.9% lethality rate translates to a .1% success rate.

TG;re 44

These failure rates are comparable to the original Kanou kakuhou transplantation procedure, if less survivable. (This isn’t including the 99.999% lethality variant or the one that was made to be 10x more lethal and mutagenic than that). The failure rates for the Kanou procedure are substantial, but even the failures are reminiscent of the Blacklight “Runners” that are seen moving around the city - though that feels like it’s the result of the “zombies” theme.

TG;re 1

While I don’t recall if it’s ever stated how the DX1120 virus differs from the DX1118 variants, the D-Codes work using similar logic to the Qs and Oggai. Both use the “power of their enemy” to fight back against them, rather than using technology such as firearms. The description of the D-Codes is essentially the same as the Qs. They use the virus to increase their metabolism, strength, durability, and even regenerative functions.

The effort put into this biology system seemed immense, and the way the information is sprinkled in seems very organic.

There was other stuff about similarities between Arima and Cross, Blackwatch and V, Elizabeth Green and Roma/Eto/Rize, but I feel like that’s a bit off topic from the question, and I think this would have been answered immediately had I not tried to explore all of those avenues. I tried to keep this more on topic to the question, but I feel the flow regardless suffered. This is kinda the issue I have with ghoul biology stuff that threw a wrench into the post. It makes sense when you look at the big picture, but taking it all separately and dispersing it to a single point makes it seem nonsensical.

I kind of hope that explains it better. I’m going to try to revisit the ghoul biology post and just sorta accept that it’s not going to flow as easily as a character analysis post because it’s more technical in nature and the information is scattered between hundreds of chapters.

edit:

oh wait, forgot something.

Also, on a more random note, what would you think if there were a one-eyed ghoul featured in the series who was like Alex Mercer?

I think about this concept a lot. The idea of an Alex Mercer like character unwrapping things in Tokyo Ghoul sounds like an interesting concept. When you mean like Alex Mercer, you mean an AOEG that is trying to unravel the mysteries involved, and any time they eat someone’s RC cells, they get the knowledge inside of them type of deal? Alex Mercer as he is in the original Prototype would likely work with Aogiri Tree. Alex Mercer as he is in Prototype 2 would probably become a member of the Clowns as an actual member, or one of the philosophical Clowns that end up screwing over Kaneki and helping out the Clowns, like Yamori or Chie Hori. 

Prototype Alex Mercer would probably start off opposed to both the CCG and Aogiri Tree, assuming you’re starting him off in Tokyo without his memories. He seems like he’d end up getting played, set up, and gaslighted by the Clowns like Kaneki, Eto, and Mutsuki were.  I imagine Mercer would quickly turn sides though once they realizes V exists and they’d probably set their sights on killing off the Clowns. tbh Mercer would probably succeed. Alex Mercer’s mindset means initially they’re going to be dancing in the palm of their hands, but the  powerset means it’s only a matter of time before everything gets revealed. Dealing almost solely in deception, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation is kind of an awful idea against a guy who can piece things together and blow your entire conspiracy to pieces. This would be like a “Karen Parker” situation, only the Clowns aren’t really used to hiding so much as sitting out in the open and none of them would be strong enough to beat someone with Alex Mercer’s powerset even in ghoul form tbh.

He’d probably join Aogiri Tree and Goat in the long run, even if briefly. The story would go off the rails long before Goat would form, though.

Alex Mercer at the end of Prototype is a different beast entirely but also kinda hard to figure out; the original writer wasn’t involved with a lot of the stuff after, and the Prototype 2 Alex Mercer feels like the original got consumed by like the Supreme Hunter and it just decided to wear his skin. Prototype 2 was originally Spiderman 4 before it was reskinned to be Protoype 2 so like everything was already set up and in place and it’s obvious that Father G was Uncle Ben, Mercer was Dr. Octavius, Heller was Peter, “viral sonar” is spidersense, etc. The writer that took over apparently hated Alex Mercer, from what I was told by people who talked to the guy. Isn’t really a good thing to go into writing with. Salt towards Alex Mercer being demonized is kinda universal. Heller had some good moments, but I felt his character was wasted. Wish the game just stayed as Spiderman 4, and Prototype 2 was on the Xbox One/PS4 rather than what Activision forced Radical to do.

I guess you could say that Prototype 2 is to the original Prototype what the anime is to Tokyo Ghoul.

But, we can infer things. It’s likely Mercer would be distrustful of everyone due to the experience with the Supreme Hunter, but very unsure of themselves. Automatic opposition to the scary conspiracy group is guaranteed. There’s an automatic opposition to killing indiscriminately from a character perspective even if the game doesn’t punish you for it; by the end, Alex is even fed up with killing soldiers who aren’t commanders. I’m not sure if he’d join up with Aogiri. Aogiri avoided civilian population centers and kept their targets military in nature, yes. On the other hand, they also just told ghouls like Torso “yo, knock it off, the CCG will getcha” and they let the Clowns or ghouls like Big Madam roam free and even worked with them, even if in the later case it was related to trying to see if Takizawa would awaken Haise’s memories.

Goat is a possibility. Kaneki’s strategy of disarming the CCG would probably be something Alex Mercer would go for. I imagine he’d also just go right for Furuta’s throat. The only reason this wasn’t done in the original Prototype was because Blackwatch’s commander was on the Reagan and was shooting anyone who got close out of the sky. Canonically the WOI does confirm an attempt to just fly therw with a helicopter only to get intercepted, and Alex also mentions that when they have their conversation with the Supreme Hunter.

Most likely though, Alex Mercer would end up working with Hide’s group and helping Kurona if he finds out about Kurona’s story. Especially Kurona. She’s simultaneously after a mad scientist who turned her into a monster, and she’s also Dana’s age. I see him helping her in her quest to get back at Kanou. With Hide, Alex sorta uses any help he can get, and Hide seems like he’d find Mercer because he’s just that good.

I think they would work with Eto if Eto opened up to them but.. Eto doesn’t really open up to people unless they violently maim her, like Kaneki or Arima. She might end up becoming interested in Alex if Alex starts trying to kill her, like Kaneki, but man. That’s not healthy.

Prototype 2 Alex Mercer, like I said, would likely be on board with the Clowns, but probably only from a philosophical sense. He agrees with their surface level stuff - the world is awful, people need to be killed, nothing matters, releasing giant monsters that kill millions is hilarious, innocent people deserve to be tortured, children are fair game, cause terror for lols, work with the conspiracy that controls the world while also killing its members because that’s fun and convenient, etc. Whether or not he ends up joining them outright or being like Yamori or Horie is up in the air, but I imagine he’d not be allowed. Furuta’s very good at analysis so I assume he’d see Alex as a threat from the get go and would keep him at a distance at all times.

Most likely it would end up in some weird battle with Mercer and Furuta being the main combatants just screwing with each other using secret agents, and Kaneki’s just. Kaneki. And gets stuck in the middle of it, just barely surviving. P2′s Mercer’s “here’s free viral powers kids” probably translates to kakuho implantation that’s even more casual than Eto’s, and his ability to just fire off viral clouds everywhere would most likely translate to him having the ability to just blast Dragon toxin. Alex in P2 gyrates pretty violently between “invincible and impossibly incompetent” to “literally so incompetent he gives the person trying to kill him the power to kill him and slowly feeds him powerups while letting them ruin his plans before stepping in and immediately giving up once a single attempt to murder them doesn’t work and then decides to go back to feeding them powerups until they can kill him” so.

I’m not sure if he’d like, do what Furuta did to Kaneki and give him the power to kill him, only entirely on purpose instead of accidentally, or if he’d just. Instantly vaporize all of his opponents.

He probably gives Eto, Kaneki, and Mutsuki power ups and then goes around trying to piss them off while claiming he’d trying to destroy V and Furuta. And he would actually, really, be trying to stop V and Furuta, but also he wouldn’t be, and he’s be working with them, but he wouldn’t.

He’d go to America, kill Heller’s family, and then turn Heller into a OEG that kills him.

You didn’t mention Heller, but there’s no way he’d be okay with V or the Clowns or probably even Anteiku (because Anteiku okayed set up civilian hunting grounds). He’d also oppose Aogiri Tree for the same reasons I think post Prototype 1 Alex would, but he might work with them like he did Rooks if he saw them as useful. The moment Furuta marches out the Oggai, if it came to that, he’d probably just go right for Furuta. The only reason Heller doesn’t do this with Mercer is because Mercer is hiding, but otherwise he’s pretty keen on just going to his current target and punching them in the face out in broad daylight surrounded by witnesses. And turning a bunch of children into the Oggai and having them go around slaughtering people would definitely set Heller off.

The story would also go off the rails.

I mean if you mean a One Eyed Ghoul with amnesia running around NYC slowly unraveling the secret surrounding V’s American Branch in the form of Blackwatch and imaging a scenario? I think that would be pretty cool, personally.

TG 141

There’s a lot of potential for a Tokyo Ghoul game in the style of Prototype. A lot of the powers that work in Prototype feel like they’d feel right at home in Tokyo Ghoul and vice verse. Eg the wallrunning could be explain with kagune wallrunning that Eto and Kaneki show. You could have a spiritual successor to Cross and some overarching super ghoul investigator counterpart to Arima, but his thing would be entirely different?

TG 112, 138

Less Arima’s “this literally doesn’t make sense, how did Arima hit that attack, he’s literally not holding anything and how did he just shoot lightning out of his quinque that can’t shoot lightning when he’s got that quinque in a box I originally thought this was an art mistake but he literally just keeps doing impossible things and they’re even lampshading in the manga so wait did he pull out Narukami and put it back into the box just to troll???”

(I think ishida does stuff like this where he messes with things like this for artistic reasons in this case it entirely works and helps hit home how invincible Arima is, and I originally thought it was art mistakes but it’s not)

And more “Shinohara, but on steroids”. Cross in Prototype was a very maneuverable surprisingly well armed opponent who could take a beating relative to most other enemies you faced outside of, for example, the Supreme Hunter. Similar type of opponent but also different. Like have the guy use multiple +SS and SSS rate quinques as standard, and he’s also got an SSS rate kakuja quinque and he can take a beating because of it, too. Not that he’s unskilled; he’s very skilled, just less so than Arima. Maybe have him also be the final boss like Arima was the final boss in the original Tokyo Ghoul, but just make him an absolute monster that completely and utterly destroys people. Maybe even have it be a no win scenario to fight the guy? Have it come up that “oh well this guy right here is attacking your friends but if you fight him, you’re going to die no matter what, don’t risk it” and you have a choice and if you choose to fight him, the game switches genres to horror and you just die. Not an easy fight to die in either.

They should definitely make a game about that. Just, spiritual successor to the original Prototype and have Detwiller and Ishida just run wild with the insane conspiracy theory story and their under the radar references to their knowledge of the military, economics, Kafka, numbers, trolling, and Lovecraft.

Just make the story impossible to understand, you know? You have to find 248 different cutscenes to get part of the story explicitly, and to unlock some of the cutscenes you have to hack into the game code to pull out poems made out of ASCII images of Ishida’s art. But to get the art, you have to pull a bunch of stuff off of twitter, relatively obscure secondary material, and some of it has to be found long after the launch of the game. Like, just maybe throw a random string of numbers into an art book released a year after the game was launched and have the numbers related to the code just hidden and you just... can’t find them? But only maybe, you’re not sure.

Throw Walt Williams from Spec Ops: The Line in there too. Have him contribute. All decisions are simultaneously wrong and correct at the same time. Nothing makes sense - but it totally does. You know what you’re doing is wrong. Or do you? None of these horrors would have happened if you’d just stopped, but you can’t stop. Not now, not when you’re so close. This person you’re pursuing, they’re definitely the bad guy. You’re in the clear. You’re not being tricked, you’re not mistaken, you made these decisions rationally. Your friends are in danger, you’re not bringing danger to them.

You feel so powerful and then boom, it happens. snap back to reality. And you should have seen it coming, but you didn’t. It’s not that it wasn’t there, it’s just that you weren’t looking - you decided “I’m not going to look”. You ignored what was right in front of you for some silly fantasy and it all hurts so much and oh god, everything is burning, help help help. Why didn’t anyone listen, I feel so alone.

and then have another spinoff spiritual successor flip from tokyo to new york in a surprise twist and it turns out that you were just starring in the villains’ self insert selfcest genderbender trollfic the e n t i r e t i m e or something it’s ambiguous I guess you gotta figure it out and no one will believe you and everything is just trolling

[meggannn]

(based on your previous ask) do you mind if I ask how you feel about lok? is there a general consensus if it's good or bad? youre really insightful and just wanted to know if there were any major issues you had with it

yeah sure, i’ll do my best. if you want a quick answer to your question, here is a link to some of my other korra posts where i say pretty much the same thing as i do here, just in fewer words. cause this post will be mostly an unhappy summary of my experience watching the show. this post will contain spoilers, and disclaimer, i am a really biased, disappointed asshole, so i’ll just admit that now. 

short answer: i liked the concept of lok more than the product we got. a lot of that is because you had a physically buff brown wlw protagonist written mostly by cishet white men and, as you can imagine, it wasn’t handled great. when i think of lok now i tend to fluctuate between bittersweet nostalgia and quiet, simmering rage.

if you don’t care about the show summary, skip at the middle paragraph break down to my tldr.

so for those who don’t know, LOK was really my first “big” fandom on tumblr. when it was announced, a bunch of ATLA purists were already hating on it because 1) brown woman, 2) it was unrealistic to go from ATLA’s technology to streampunk in 70 years, and 3) it wasn’t ATLA, basically. it was my first big interest that i got to participate in as it was airing, and i was really excited about it. i defended it, i wrote meta, i liveblogged, i wrote tons of fic and spammed theories/wants before the damn show even had a release date. all that is to say, i was Invested, and i believed in it before i even saw it. people called me a bnf, i’m not sure if that’s true, but i did gain a lot my followers in my first few years on tumblr by posting korra stuff. a lot of them – hello – i think are still around today (i’m not certain how all the video games hasn’t scared them off yet)

i should say at this point that my opinion of LOK the show has been really wrapped up in the ugly stain left by the fanbase. korra the character has been the subject of tons of racist, misogynistic criticism since the moment we saw her back; when she showed up on screen as a proud young woman who fought with authority and stood up for herself, that was the nail in the coffin for her reputation. i agreed that she had a bit of growing up to do, because ATLA/LOK have always been stories about coming of age and maturing, but i disagreed strongly with this notion that she deserved to be “humbled,” which is what a lot of fans were looking for.

the overall consensus on if it’s “good” depends on who you ask. most people agree that ATLA is better overall: it was better plotted because it benefited from more writers in the room and more episodes to flesh out the world. opinions on LOK specifically range based a lot on their opinions of the K/orra/sami pairing, if they were involved in or what side they were on in any of the fandom wank, and also just complete random chance.

i’ll go more in depth into my ‘history’ with the show below, but i just wanted to mention that all the while the show was airing, korra was being hit with waves of criticism by so-called fans for basically being a confident brown woman who were calling for her to learn her place, respect her elders, etc. another common theme was fandom’s brilliant fucking idea that asami, a light-skinned feminine non-bending woman who was more polite and reserved than korra, would’ve made a better avatar. because you know why. (korra was often described as brutal, rough, unsophisticated, next to pretty, perfect asami. and asami is a fine character, to be clear, but that’s what she was – fine. nothing really stands out about her, which is a fault of the writing, because she had a lot of potential too.) so anyway all of this did sour my mood toward engaging with other fans outside my friend circle.

–

it was around maybe the middle of book 1 that i realized the writing for the show was simpler than what i was expecting – not that it was childish, which it was (because it was written for children, i understood that), but i felt like the plot meandered and the twists came out of nowhere. it felt like they were making it up as they were going, and it opened threads it didn’t answer. one of the biggest threads was the equalist revolution, which was a very sensitive topic that got jettisoned when the leader was revealed to be a fraud, and that devalued the entire movement in an instant. really disappointing, because i was looking forward to seeing that addressed. for a lot of people, this was a dealbreaker, and they started walking. i stuck with it, but loosely.

book 2 aired, focusing on the spiritual world and some really cool history. it still suffered a lot from awkward b-plots and loose threads it didn’t know how to tackle. korra lost her memory and then regained it 2 episodes later with no consequences, mako flip-flopped between korra and asami because bryke don’t know how to write teenage romances without making it a love triangle, and at some point bolin kissed a girl against her will and they didnt acknowledge that at all? i honestly don’t remember. anyway at the end of book 2, even though korra saves the day and prevents the world from descending into darkness for ten thousand years, due to events beyond her control, korra loses the spiritual connection that ties her to all of the previous avatars – aang, roku, kyoshi, wan, everyone. and people hit the fucking ceiling. “korra’s not a real avatar if she lost her connection to the old ones! that’s the entire point of the cycle! this show is bullshit, it’s not canon anymore!” (the entire point that finale demonstrated that korra’s power alone was enough to save the world and she didn’t need anyone else. but people found that ~unrealistic~ i guess). as you can imagine, being a fan of LOK is starting to get a little tiring by now.

books 3-4 is where the korra haters got to love the show again, because they were both straight-up torture porn. after everything she did saving the world, this is the arc where korra got beat down, tortured, dragged into the dirt, swallowed and spat back out. book 3 is a lot of people’s favorites because it was the first book that felt fully plotted out before it was put on air, which is why i enjoyed it too. but for me it was difficult to see a girl, whose identity revolved around being the avatar after being raised and sheltered to think it was all she was good for, effectively abandon her life and even her name by the beginning of book 4 because the events of book 3 were that traumatizing for her. somehow this was character development. we were encouraged to stick with it because we hoped korra would find herself again. and she did, sorta.

but it makes me furious that people who had quit in books 1-2 came back during 3 because they heard these books were better – aka book 3, the book that featured korra the least, and books 3-4 in which korra got her ass handed to her in some of the hardest fights vs some of the cruelest villains of the series. (nevermind that the book 3 villains suffer from the anime villain curse: they quickly went from “cool character design” to “wait, how does this rando group of villains show up with powers literally no one in the universe has ever heard before?” – questions no one ever answers)

anyway book 4 is a mish-mash of… i’m not sure. i’ve rewatched all the books but i don’t know if i’ll ever touch this one again. the culturally appropriating airbender wannabe, zaheer (a complete rando who somehow masters airbending enough to fly, which was a huge middle finger to airbending masters aang and tenzin for no reason) a guy who literally tortured korra one season before and put her in a wheelchair, is the one who the writers send korra to for her spiritual awakening that lets her save the day. not tenzin or jinora, her spiritual teachers with whom she has positive, healthy relationships – they send her back to her abuser who terrifies and degrades her a bit more before deciding to help. this was a pattern: the writers made both korra and asami face their abusers (in asami’s case, her father) for catharsis instead of gaining peace over their trauma another, healthier way because…. i’m not sure why. there is no reason why. and then there’s the guilt tripping nonsense of asami feeling as if she had to forgive her father, who tried to kill her, because he said he was sorry and sacrificed himself for her in the finale. it’s angst galore, if you like that kind of thing, which i normally do, except this is less angst and more just the writers trying to hammer in torture porn, grimdark, and poor attempts at morally gray nonsense into their finale season.

anyway at the end of her journey, korra, our buff brown woc, learns that she had to suffer to learn how to be compassionate and relate to her enemy. i’m not exaggerating, she literally says that. which is lovely.

–

tldr: i wasted a lot of emotional time and energy into this show and was extremely disappointed when some of the ending’s notes were “you had to suffer to become a better person” and “forgive your abusers/villains because aren’t we all the same in the end?”

but also on a strictly narrative level, LOK also bit off way more than it could chew both emotionally and thematically. it had an amazing premise, but it was not committed to

utilizing the steampunk genre to its best potential in the bending world (after the creativity in the rest of the worldbuilding, the LOK series finale was literally fighting a giant robot – seriously?)

giving its hero the respect and character arc she deserved. and i don’t say that because i think korra had no growing up to do in b1, she did, but she didn’t deserve for it to happen like that.

so basically i realized that a lot of the writers that made ATLA great weren’t brought back for LOK, and it showed. i realized that the LOK writers, when they listened to fans, were listening to the fans that whined the loudest, or (more likely, since they plan seasons years before we see them) they thought from the beginning that it was a good idea for korra to go through years’ worth of pain just to be spat out a humbler, “better” person

the reason i told you all that about me defending LOK in the beginning is because i need you to understand that i believed in LOK longer than i probably should’ve. i wanted it to be everything i was expecting in a diverse children’s show with an unorthodox female protaganist. but just because they had a brown wlw heroine doesn’t mean that they deserved to be praised for it when they treated her like garbage.

and korra and asami walk into a beam of light together in the last second of the show and i’m supposed to applaud the writers for their bravery or something

[destiny-smasher]

So! Episode 2 of Before the Storm! It was very good! If you haven't read my thoughts on Episode 1, here those are.

If you want an audio discussion about either episode, I've recorded podcasts with my girlfriend, @mollifiable, as well as musicians Riley Hawke and Koethe. Here’s what we discussed on Ep1, and here’s the podcast on Ep2. BEAR IN MIND I will be discussing a number of things from EPISODE 2, so you probably shouldn’t read this if you haven’t experienced it yet. There are some inherent problems I still have with this projects conception (which I got into in that first post back in September), but Epsiode 2 has gone a long way toward giving me faith in why this story is being made. Or, at the least, that it's being made with a lot of thought and care. I've played a LOT of story-focused, episode games, and honestly, I think this episode is one of the best I've ever experienced, overall. I still struggle with some elements of the story (ex. I just don't like Rachel as much as I think I'm 'meant to,' BUT I think that ties into what the overall story may be about), and I still feel frustrated that your team is being limited by the nature of the setup (why is this all happening over three days when it could’ve been over three years, for example), but Episode 2 just has so much good going for it and I felt like it really showed what can be done with a project like this. Like last time, I want to address this to Madeleine, Felice, and the entire team at Deck Nine directly – and point out how much it means to us that you guys actually reach back and communicate with us, even encouraging criticism. I'm proud of what your team has been able to accomplish with this episode and think it stands out in the genre in a lot of ways.

Let’s get to it.

That being said, I do want to offer my criticisms, so let's just get those out of the way first. First off, Samuel – yeesh. Sorry, I just really didn't like the scene with Samuel. Part of it is his new voice actor just sounding more...creepy? I guess I'd say? But also, his manner of speech and the things he said felt out of place. Not just for his character but with the story in general. In LiS1, Samuel comes across as mentally different than those around him, almost like a sort of sage in a way, engaging with the world in a different way than those around him (there's a similar character in Supergiant's brilliant Pyre who comes to mind). But here, Samuel felt like a cross between a psychiatrist and a guy taking too many drugs? That's perhaps harsh, but especially given that his character model/rigging didn't seem to carry over properly, I was just rubbed the wrong way by his presence in this episode in a way that hasn't happened with any other recurring characters. I appreciate the intent I picked up from his scene – to remind us that there's more going on than just what we can see on the surface – but I felt like it missed the mark of who Samuel was as a character without really establishing why he would be different in this way three years in the past. On a related subject – the adult characters in this episode, or at least some of them, felt weird. MOST of them felt more like caricatures than actual characters. Wells felt fine, and I actually kind of PREFER this take on Wells because he feels LESS like a caricature and more like an actual principle. I can even kind of see a headcanon link between this interpretation of him and the version of him three years having just kind of shed away his decorum from the stress of managing a school undergoing so many changes and financial problems. I really felt for Joyce, and I felt that David's character was finally presented in a way that lacked the cliché “military” skew that LiS1 forced too hard while simultaneously giving the audience an understanding of precisely why his presence in the household would push Chloe so far away (though I still find much of the Joyce/David stuff odd here because we already know where this all leads and nothing here really seems to build anything new from that). Characters like Rachel's dad, the theater teacher, Samuel, Skip, Damon, and Sean Prescott all felt...a bit too cartoony in ways. Damon maybe least of all due to the intensity of that scene and the nice subtext we can pick up (after all, money is a realistic and pragmatic motive to drive one to aggression) In general, the adults felt flatter and more cartoony than I think works for this setting. Not to say they should NEVER be funny or anything, just that I was repeatedly taken out of the story by how jarringly one-dimensional a line was, or how flat a voice delivery was, etc. Fortunately, this problem doesn't really carry over to the teens, who are, of course, the focus of the narrative. I also noticed more moments in this episode where characters' eyes were uncanny, staring straight ahead in unnatural ways – or mouth movements being weird (Samuel being the biggest example, to the point that it jarred me out of the story and distracted from his dialogue). Minor complaint, all things considered, but worth pointing out as I didn't really notice this happen in episode 1, which makes me worry that maybe things got rushed a bit too much? (you guys did release this episode weeks earlier than expected) On the upside, though, this problem did NOT exist when it mattered the most, so at least that detail was put into the important moments. All right, last nitpick – I found the whole “drugging” thing re: the pre-play scene to be in bad taste. On the one hand, I LIKE the premise, and how it really does a fascinating thing with developing/contrasting/comparing Rachel and Victoria (in a way that requires knowledge of alternate events, something only a video game could do), but on the other hand...ya'll made drugging teen girls in an active, malicious way this...joke. While I do love that BtS has more comedy in its tone, I found turning Victoria's drug-induced passing out into a JOKE to be kind of offensive, especially given that she can get drugged and murdered in LiS1 (and Rachel AND Chloe both get drugged and/or murdered?), and just...yea. All in all, I think the concept of this scene works, it's the execution that makes it feel insensitive and kind of worrying. (ex. Victoria passes out and fucking NO ONE calls a doctor or tries to help her, the camera fucking PANS on her unconscious body like it's this joke and the way the whole thing is framed just invites laughter on something that kinda sorta shouldn't be funny given the full context of this story) Anyway, it's kind of like the wine scene in the first episode, but worse in terms of implications, I guess? I'm not THAT torn up over it since it's brief, and everyone's OK in the end, I presume, but it just feels a bit tone deaf when SO MUCH of this episode is SO GOOD. It really took me out of the experience – but the layered nature of it (how Rachel gets her way no matter what, how Rachel AND Victoria are both willing to drug each other, how Vic can be manipulated while Rachel can't) makes it really intriguing. I think the concept here was intriguing, but the execution on stuff like this could be handled more thoughtfully. I could get into pacing issues, I suppose, but honestly, I've already critiqued enough, and I think this episode was really good, so I don't want to get too down on the details when I'm sure others will get into this topic. (like the canon inconsistencies, they’re there, but aren’t really detracting from the good stuff)

OK! With all of that out of the way, let me get into what I loved about this episode, which was most of it. Episode 1 was unclear and uncertain in what it was trying to convey, which makes more sense now that we have Episode 2, which dives right into what this story seems to be about – passion, and the good and bad that comes from it. Passion, to be clear, being different from love. Love is steady, consistent, like a stream of water, while passion is fast and bright and sudden, like fire. I could get into the elemental symbolism you could correlate between wind, water, fire and Chloe, Max, and Rachel, but I'm sure folks have done this already. I do think it's still worth pointing out just how great a job you've done so far using fire as a metaphor for Rachel and Chloe's relationship, both within the story presented here and overarching into LiS as a whole. You managed to work it into the actual plot, as well, in a way that doesn't feel forced or thoughtless – an entire episode later and there are still consequences from it. Having just experienced the CA wildfires a half hour away from my home, I can appreciate a certain level of fear and awe at how much can be affected by fire, even the air itself, and just how quickly it can spread and how much damage it can do in a short time. The fact that the title screen itself it an analogy about passion makes me super excited at the potential for episode 3. Absolutely love that the title screen doubles as atmosphere AND symbolism. Specifically, I have to call out the dream sequence here as being quite awesome. From the moment I saw the burning car with a shadowed figure, I already knew what the visual reveal at the end of the scene was going to be, and was still thoroughly satisfied. I absolutely love LOVE the metaphor William presents about comparing/contrasting light and dark in terms of how both can cause us to lose ourselves, lose our ways, and be blinded. The way this correlates to Chloe's loss of William, Max, and Rachel (darkness) to how she can be blinded by light (passion for Rachel, even excitement about Max's power later on) is all encapsulated in a single bit of dialogue that communicates such an underexplored theme in the medium, and one that makes telling this story from a teenage perspective suddenly feel 100% sensible instead of just a coincidence. Telling a story diving into the theme of passion just wouldn't work the same from a character too young or too old, because it's this part of the human condition that we experience passion the deepest and the hottest. Which brings us to the fantastic play aspect, which is one of my favorite moments in all of LiS at this point. The layers of meaning at work here were genius. First off, it's all a play – an act. And Chloe is trying to keep up, while Rachel is clearly experienced with this. Secondly, the connections between relationships in The Tempest to the protagonists is great use of intertextual storytelling. Thirdly, highlighting a Shakespearean play, which highlights passion from teenage youths, yet another layer. Fourth, they go off script, which itself has really interesting connotations in terms of this game itself existing in the first place as an “off script” piece of the story, as well as how the content of their moment carries an unrealistic, impractical hopefulness to it that is inspiring, but still an act in a play, involving magic and fantasy. Fifth, concluding the scene with the way the play ends adds this really awesome extra layer of meta expression – Rachel as a character gets to be expressed and represented in a way she originally was not, with the help of fans of the LiS developing this prequel, but also fans of LiS breathing life into Rachel before this prequel existed; PLUS the prequel itself is a performance that you, the development team, are putting on for us, the audience. There's just so much going on here, and the musical choices helped seal the moment's emotional impact. Even as myself, coming from the perspective of not trusting Rachel's judgment/actions, I felt as if I finally had a 'moment' where I truly understood why Chloe was so swiftly enamored with Rachel. It reminded me of moments I've experienced in my own past, though nothing as 'magical' as this. It also just highlighted how Rachel's character has power and influence over those around her despite being so young. All in all, bravo. This scene came together fantastically, and I think it's one of the most thoughtfully put together scripted scenes I've ever seen in a video game. This was the moment I fell in love with this story – not because of AmberPrice but because it was so well put together by everyone involved. I think this will probably go down as the highlight of this game when all is said and done. To back things up a bit, I did enjoy the premise of the junkyard stuff. I really liked giving Chloe's character a bit of breathing room on her own – the kinds of things she thinks to herself while exploring the environment showed a bit of Max's influence on her still being present even as she's trying to forget Max. I liked that we could pick different objects to help decorate/fix the van, as well, but the flow of the scene would work better if we could do it all in one trip rather than taking two trips – I found myself disoriented after placing the battery into the car, and by that point had lost track of where specific objects were, whereas it would've been more fitting to maybe have Chloe make note of the items first, or even gather them all up into a pile and let the player choose from there. I predicted and felt satisfied by how the truck was utilized as an analogy for Chloe as a person – broken, banged up, abandoned, lost, but if given enough attention and care, could be back up and running. The therapy session Rachel and Chloe have was also nice at building their relationship further.

Something that wasn't as apparent in episode 1 because it simply needed time to grow was the whole way that Rachel is presented as someone who is flawed. Because the story is from Chloe's perspective, there's maybe too many limits on how this can be developed, though we'll see how the finale handles things, but I really liked that all of the flaws we already know about her character from stuff in LiS1 felt contextualized in this episode. She can be manipulative, short-sighted, impulsive, and even self-absorbed, but it's not malicious or even intentional all of the time. Rachel herself is in a similar position as Chloe – they're teenagers – she is still figuring herself out, what she really wants, who she really wants to be, and how she can achieve those things. All of my doubts, concerns, and fears about this relationship between them all feel validated by their dynamics, by the theming and foreshadowing, and yet it simultaneously makes sense why and how they'd end up together – out of teenage passion, and a shared sense of longing to feel both needed by someone else and taken care of by someone else. The scene after the play, in the street, had a great sense of aesthetic to it, which felt like it was from a teen romance film from the 80's or something. The imagery of the scene highlights the nature of this whole story – a splash of light along a dark road that is Chloe's teenage years. The multiple ways this scene can play out depending on previous choices was neat, too. I was especially intrigued by the possibility of making the “Friendship” choice in Ep1, then asking for a kiss here in this scene – there's this amazing bit of animation in Rachel's face that really shows her thought processes clicking together in an ambiguous way that really fits her character. I'm also super curious as to what will come of the bracelet bit, since Rachel surprisingly gives it to Chloe if you ask for it, despite the fact that we know she ultimately gives it to Frank. There's multiple possibilities of what that could entail, and I'm really interested in seeing how that plays out. This actually reminds me of how much I liked the way decisions from episode 1 have branched out here. Rather than decisions having a single static meaning later on, you have aspects from Episode 1 lead to different branching possibilities of how scenes play out. The outcomes are usually the same, but still, it makes the story feel more dynamic, and I like how these aren't always super obvious. There's a lot of examples of this, from telling Rachel that Chloe feels romantically or not, to stealing the money, to what you do WITH the money, and some other smaller things, too. Great work with this stuff, it helps us see different angles to the characters when we have these options, and highlights what LiS was originally about re: characters – perspective is everything. And yet, Rachel seems almost immune to things in a sense, which is appropriate given how her character works and how she influences those around her. I liked the scene with Frank in the RV and the way it contrasts and compares his future self to his past self. Which reminds me, this episode had a bit more interesting 'character development through environment,' which was a highlight of LiS1 that felt missing from Ep1 of Before the Storm. Whether it was Frank's RV, Elliot's dorm room, the Amber household, or, most poignantly, Drew's dorm room, you guys did a great job letting us learn more about the characters through the environments. While you could argue that it doesn't quite match Chloe's character the way it does Max (and I'd argue that the whole nature of trying to socialize and make friends itself already is kind of against Chloe's character in Ep1), I think it works well enough and just makes sense from a game design standpoint. I liked that we got more opportunities for graffiti in ways that weren't just straight up wall graffiti (ex. Crossword, drawing on the newspaper photo). I glossed over this last time, but part of what I've been frustrated by with Before the Storm is the way Chloe at 16 years old...already feels like Chloe at 19, but slightly more awkward. Episode 2 helped resolve some of this by putting her outside of her comfort zone more and highlighting her vulnerability, cynicism, and uncertainty (whereas Chloe at 19 kind of doesn't give a shit and dives head first into everything and doesn't care what anyone thinks). I also really love the multiple ways you've referenced that Chloe was originally a “nerd” like Max, and has gradually been straying away from that – and yet, it's still part of who she is (and ends up showing itself later on in LiS1, like how she seems to know more about time travel theory than Warren does). In particular, I loved how she pulls up different characters' web search histories – something that doesn't specifically take much effort, but that most people wouldn't think to do. This in and of itself was a really clever way of adding more to character development for those involved. (“why won't puppy eat steak” is hilarious to me and I can't get over it for some reason) The entire scene with Mikey, Drew, and Damon was wonderful. I loved the multiple outcomes and how none of them are specifically good, and any of them can feel in character for Chloe. I think Damon's character feels a little one dimensional here, BUT the context makes sense – he wants his fucking money. He's collecting debts after suffering a huge monetary loss. Of course he's going to be single-minded. As a side note, I loved the small but significant bit re: Damon's e-mail to Frank. Props to whoever came up with that. What a brilliantly subtle way of telling us so much about Damon's true character and his relationship with Frank. Going back to the conflict at the dorm, I loved that you took a bully character who appeared simple and effortlessly fleshed him out enough to feel legitimately believable with real motives. I loved how I was able to figure out the passcode to his lock organically given everything I had seen, and how I then used that knowledge to express what I felt would be in his best interests in the conflict – even though, as my girlfriend pointed out, it might not have been the best long-term outcome. I wish we'd seen more of Mikey and Steph, but what was there was still good. Steph's brief convo with Chloe I saw coming in a good way, and I really liked how you presented it. I liked the bits we got with Samantha and Skip, as well, thought I'm wondering where you're going with Samantha and Nathan. I was actually really frustrated with the Backtalk sequence with Skip, but then, I think that was the whole point. Speaking of, I really didn't like Backtalk in Ep1, but it was overall much better here. In Ep1, Backtalk was like some weird 'Be an Asshole' thing, and it felt weird how the game inherently encouraged you to do this. In Ep2, there were multiple times where I felt unsure if Backtalk was 'the best' way to go, and even then, most of its uses felt much more organic. It wasn't just about being a jerk to make someone feel bad, there was often some organic purpose to it – talking Victoria out of being in the play in a way that made her feel like it was her own decision; trying to get info out of Frank; trying to get into a dorm you weren't supposed to be in; trying to stick up for Rachel in the face of discipline, or trying to help her confront her father. In every case, there was an interpersonal motivation – Chloe wasn't doing it for something she specifically wanted, or just to make someone feel bad, but to try and do something for someone else. Also, they felt more like arguments, or ways of manipulating someone, rather than straight up insults. In some ways, it reminded me of things in TellTale's The Walking Dead Season 2, using more manipulative dialogue to resolve a situation rather than just brute-forcing things. This also contributes toward the theme of 'influence' regarding Chloe being influenced by Rachel so quickly and easily that she's even picking up some of Rachel's tactics (which, one could argue, she uses later on when she's older). This being said, I'm hoping that in Episode 3 we're given a more high-stakes situation that can be resolved using those more manipulative mannerisms, which gives the Backtalk mechanic a “climax” of sorts.

I like the way that you've been able to build this sense of supernatural occurrences without actually showing anything supernatural. The All-Seeing-Eye, the recurring Raven imagery, the weird shit going on with Chloe and others seeming to be having mysterious, prophetic dreams (even Elliot and Frank seem to be having them), the way the ash fall at the end of the episode foils the snowfall at the end of Ep1 of Life is Strange. This builds to a fascinating moment at the end of the episode where, for the first time, perspective SHIFTS from Chloe to Rachel, only for a few seconds, but in a really neat way that leads you to FEEL like something supernatural is about to happen, only for it not to. In a way, this feels like what your overall story could be about in a sense, though it'd be downright odd at this point to have NO answers or resolution regarding what I described above. One of the original game's biggest flaws was how it drummed up mystery only to leave things unexplained or unresolved in ways that damaged the actual plot. Dream sequences don't necessarily do this, but with how much emphasis you've put on them and the Raven/Eye imagery, I feel like there must be a purpose you have here – especially if members of your staff are getting ravens tattooed on their bodies. Naturally, Rachel's mom seems tied to all of this, if not the origin point of it. And I can't help but wonder if we'll even get a perspective shift near the end of the story from Rachel's point of view, if only to help imply or insinuate some things that tie into unanswered elements of Max's story. Speaking of Max, I was much more happy with the 'letters' in this episode, as they spend very little time needlessly bashing a character who wasn't even present, and more time on Chloe quickly becoming obsessed with Rachel – which all makes sense with the arc you seem to be going for. I liked the extra allusions to Chloe's future with Max, such as the maze and William's remark about a “beauty” to come in the future. It's such a complicated thing to tackle – and trust me, I've spent two years and hundreds of thousands of words trying to tackle it myself with these same characters – but I finally have come to a place where I can appreciate the balance you've managed to find between supporting the good elements Chloe and Rachel had going for them, while also implying the bad elements and the reasons why Chloe would develop feelings for Max later on. On a personal level, I relate with Chloe a lot in regards to her relationships (I relate with Max in a lot of ways, too, but that's a separate matter). I have lived through both long term and short term experiences of passion, romantically and platonically. And I have been romantically involved with people who remind me of Rachel. And I think that's part of why I just...don't like her, personally. BUT I am at a place now, after this episode, where I like her as a CHARACTER, even if I don't like her as a fictional person. I never can fully let my guard down around her, but can totally understand why Chloe would (and did), and have been there. And now that I have the context of this episode, I can finally start to see what 'the point' of this story seems to be, which makes me very curious to see how it is resolved. Lastly, again, great job using mocap and facial animation to heighten realism for a lot of scenes. While I noticed more “flat” moments than before, it never detracted from the important moments having that level of detail to make them bring out an extra layer of inevitability. From Chloe knocking at a dartboard to finger-gun gestures, to subtle but complex expressions, just a lot of great expressive details going on here. On that note, I noticed a real improvement in Rhianna’s performance. She felt like she wasn’t trying to mimic Ashly Burch or Ellen Page and was instead just finding her own interpretation of the role, and it works MUCH better. In a way, I still feel a constant sense of ‘this isn’t exactly Chloe’ but not in a bad way, just a...different way. Instead of feeling distracted by her actress being different, I felt instead like I was being more absorbed into this alternate interpretation of the character. Both Hannah and Ashly needed some time to fill into their roles before ‘the good stuff’ really came out in their performances, so I’m really looking forward to what Rhianna might pull off in Episode 3, and what she can do in the future after this role, when she isn’t burdened by the complexities of this kind of situation. I could go on, but I've ranted stream-of-conscious style long enough. I still have some more broad strokes issues with this game’s narrative, but then again, I have issues with the original game’s, as well -- and this story isn’t done yet, so I want to wait until I have the full context before I comment on those broad-scope design elements. I hope at least some of what I've written here is helpful to your team, and that my critical comments highlight just how good a job you guys did with this second entry. Regardless of how I end up feeling about Episode 3 of Before the Storm, I am really happy for your team and what they've pulled off here, and am very supportive of what you seem to be trying to do, as delicate a balancing act as it surely is.

[ganymedesclock]

I mean, I kind of get why? Chunks of the fandom have this very strong perception of the galra as Hostile And Dangerous and they project that onto that side of Keith’s heritage. You see it in a lot of really body-horrific “transformation” concepts of like. Keith being slowly physically converted, often under torture, or the process itself is torture- or the idea of “instincts” that are invasive and mind-hijacking. That Keith’s own heritage is an invasion from within or a malicious, harmful influence he has to fight off. (That’s not behind all of it, but it’s a sometimes-unintended impression it gives: that Keith’s heritage is here to hurt him.)

Which in the actual context of the show, just looks ridiculous, because, yes, the galra are very big cat-esque but big cats are not murder machines. Even if they are apex predators, you would not expect a room full of human accountants to behave like a baboon troop as soon as the right stimulus is presented so I’m not sure why we’re expecting a people who have, if anything, had way more history than ours separating them from their early ancestors, to be that way. Big cats are predators? Dude, have you ever looked at a gorilla? Our end of the family tree is not exactly packed with ruminants.

It willfully ignores how Varkon and Sal show us there are ordinary civilians doing a nine to five job and they are no more threatening to the paladins than any of the other civilians they’re dealing with, unless you’re insinuating Hunk would sit down Emperor Zarkon and teach him the joys of cooking.

It willfully ignores the Blade who are at worst cagey and closed-off as befitting an espionage organization whose survival strategy is “if your enemies know you exist that is an immediate problem” and Kolivan who, bluster aside, basically adopted the team as soon as he had a reason to suspect that was his business.

It even ignores that the rank-and-file foot soldiers are literally also just people doing their job. If Zarkon’s high command is stocked with bullies, it’s because we watch him putting them there, setting them up. It’s because he’s artificially built an environment where being nasty and eager to subjugate gets you pushed up the ranks and being thoughtful, conservative, or empathetic gets you dragged off by robots.

We have multiple onscreen shots of Zarkon trying to cultivate the galra into generic space orcs and endless, endless piles of evidence that despite lavishly rewarding the jerks and punishing the kind, the latter party is still there after ten thousand years of Zarkon’s rule.

There is nothing inherently ominous or malicious about the galra. There is absolutely nothing barring that Keith, legitimately, as the show has overwhelmingly pointed us towards, had a loving mother who was worried about him and left her blade with him so he could find his way home- back to the Blade, back to her people. The same people who, as soon as that weapon awakens, immediately start trying to look after Keith and take care of him.

A lot of times in the fandom there is this image of the galra as inherently vicious, which... is ridiculous to me because that’s the exact garbage Zarkon’s insisting on (the guy we’re not supposed to agree with?) and we also see him blatantly enforcing it, which, if this is the inherent nature of the galra, he shouldn’t have to. If this is the inherent nature of the galra, Varkon and Sal shouldn’t exist. The Blade shouldn’t exist. Kolivan shouldn’t be accusing Zarkon of being an awful corrupting influence.

This image of the galra as basically Space Orcs contrasts the fact that as little as we have of Mom Kogane suggests that she really did love her baby. That if anything, in practice, the galra tend toward getting massively emotionally attached. That even the unpleasant high-ranking bully characters we encounter do things like cultivate companion animals (The warden and Laika), have genuine romantic relationships (heavily implied between Zarkon and Haggar, considering Lotor), or are deeply, personally moved by actually being able to bring happiness to people (Sal would not consider Hunk a genius if people enjoying their food didn’t leave an impression on him)

Canon supports the idea that Mom Kogane was a real person, and totally capable of falling in love, and having a child, and wanting the best for that child that she could provide given her situation. It’s only that odd thread of fanon of the remorseless, heartless galra- unsupported by even the antagonistic galra in the empire- that can’t get behind that.

The galra are not “the evil” and Keith’s story is not about relying on his morally upright human lineage to fight off The Evil.

I mean, Keith says so himself: “I didn’t turn galra.” This is a presence that’s been here from day one. Keith did not have any more trouble signing up to try and save the universe than anyone else. The knife was with him in the very first episode. He’s always had purple eyes- unusual for a human, and a color associated with the galra. In fact, comparing Keith to most of the Blade, they fight the same way- high-speed forward rush with a bladed weapon. Keith’s bayard takes the form of a katar, which is sometimes used specifically as an off-handed weapon for a swordsman who fights with a ‘proper’ more conventional sword in his other hand. As in: his bayard took its shape, from the start, to accompany the marmora blade.

The trial literally framed that Keith had to say no to both the image of his father and the image of Shiro. That giving up either his heritage or his role as a paladin was the wrong answer.

If anything, I think that the show is building towards the fact that Keith, much like Pidge, needs to find his family, beyond just the paladins. Because as close as they are, and as much as they mean to each other... more or less all the other paladins have things waiting for them back home.

What Keith had on Earth was pretty much nothing. He’d been expelled from the Garrison and it’s unclear if he’d really want to go back. He doesn’t really talk about it as something that meant that much to him, and when everyone else discusses their plans, he offers a lackluster “I guess I could look for [my family],”. The guy had a shack in the middle of nowhere and yeah, the peace and quiet was nice but that’s an awfully bleak thing to make your entire life out of.

Earth and humanity are not a valiant strong shackle holding Keith back from inherent evil. This isn’t a werewolf movie where Keith is at war with some “inner beast”.

The Red Lion’s thing is instinct. If anything, that suggests that Keith trying to hold back, resist, and distrust himself is bad for him- it’s running upstream against his established virtue which requires letting go and trusting- trusting that if he drives his hoverbike off a cliff he will be able to catch himself before he hits the bottom. Identifying what he needs to do and doing it- hitting fast and with conviction.

Physiologically these are things that it looks, a lot, like the galra as a species, and the Blade’s fighting style as a philosophy, specialize in. These things align directly with Keith’s fighting style, aptitudes, and virtues as a paladin.

It’s a big neon sign that actually, exploring his heritage further is the right thing to do. This is the good thing that’s going to help Keith. Are there going to be growing pains involved? Absolutely. But so far, the nastiest shakeup- Keith isolating himself from the team and being rejected by Allura- is tying to an issue Keith brought to the table, not in his blood, but in his mind.

It ties back to how hard it’s been for Keith to find ‘his place’. To feel connected and belonging. It ties back to isolation and the fear of rejection and being a bad person. Which has very little to do with being a galra, except- once again, looking at most of the other galra in the cast, who tend to get really��attached to things and people? Keith’s heritage is lining up with the rest of his character.

The sorta TL;DR here is- there’s a basically baseless-in-canon lens on the galra as inherently Dangerous, Malicious, and Predatory. This gets projected onto Keith, and it gets projected onto Mom Kogane, as the source of his galra heritage.

[isaacathom]

ok further ideas for the light/dark thing. so for the two kingdoms, initially they were One kingdom with slightly different cultures developing over time. there were only Maidens of Light, but the roles they were asked to perform varied. as there was no darkness, that wasnt part of it. but like, the gods they were asked to worship changed depending on region, and slowly stuff developed to be sorta diverse.

then, at some point, the part of the kingdom that would become the Dark Kingdom asked for autonomy/independence, so that they could fully practice their own variant beliefs without being required to practice conflicting ones as well. the rest of the kingdom took this poorly, and there was a minor civil war.

the end result is that one specific Maiden used Dark Magic (a complete perversion of what the Maidens are supposed to be doing) and chucked it into the center of the city that the Independents wanted as their capital, killing a good number of people (including the Maiden herself, which was always her plan) and anyone who could have witnessed her do it, and worming its way into the earth to taint it and its people. The Maidens who had been in the city at the time were mildly shielded from the darkness (in the sense that it didnt KILL them, for the most part) but it perverted their magics as well. hence, Maidens of Dark.

this act was blamed on the Independents (since noone could confirm how it started, and the new dark-touched appearances of the Maidens seemed to support this idea), and the maidens of Light that still remained (in the og kingdom, anyway) created a magic line across the kingdom and said ‘yall stay the fuck on that side’ and thus was independence gained, but with a nice chunk of violent retribution.

So the Dark Maidens were created, outside of their will. and they, being largely blamed for the growing darkness, were charged with dealing with it. but, of course, these maidens hadnt cast this magic, and it took many years and even generations for a Dark Maiden to properly master the darker magics and successfully repel the darkness. because thats not what the magic is designed to do. both Light and Dark are designed to propagate, not to hold themselves back. Light can vanquish Dark, Dark can vanquish Light, but Dark cannot vanquish Dark. what the maidens could do, eventually, is just halt its progression. a perversion of the perverted art. its a big issue.

and of course, from the start the Light Kingdom has disliked the Dark Kingdom for wanting independence, and as any people who knew about the real cause of the ~taint~ died out, the general sentiment against them grew stronger.especially as the Dark Maidens failed to contain the darkness and it crept closer to the border. Theyre better at it now, as the few tried and true methods to halt darkness have been taught fiercely to young Maidens, but its too little too late. actually pushing back the darkness is beyond the capabilities of most maidens, even working in concert. they HAVE cleared a small area nearish the border, which is dedicated farm land and guarded nigh 24/7 by Maidens

its greaaat. and naturally, the Villain specifically wants to grab a maiden of Light and prove that the two of them working together can proper cleanse darkness from an area. hence the begging and then the kidnap because fuck mate sometimes you get desperate.

theres also the hypothetical fact that if the darkness were wholly removed it would kill or greviously harm all the Maidens of Dark, since they are, in practical terms, Maidens of Light infected with the darkness, which is whats being removed. and since its generations deep, it cant be just waved off, like its part of them now, hence their increased abilities to manipulate the darkness with each passing generation. but i think the Universe has a place for them, or something. aka i really dont want to kill the Villain she’s a darling and loves her gf and im not fucking with her like that. the closest itd get is a) the Captain tryna fuck up her shit for ‘dishonoring the Maiden’ or smth and b) using up a Buncha life force to cleanse some shit. itd be a slow process, i tell you.

like, clearing away the darkness that creeps across the border is fairly easy, because they do it semi regularly so the tendrils are weak and frail as they wiggle across the land. as you get closer and close to the capital, the darkness gets more and more ingrained, and it takes more and more power to remove it. it would be a Very Long process, involving a LOT of Dark Maidens guarding the perimeter to ensure progress isnt lost while the Light Maiden recovers. itd be far quicker if the whole light kingdom came in but, yknow, its kinda Fuck Shit. maybe they’ll help at the end. it depends. the whole Light Kingdom, after the Hero maims the Captain, basically assumes she’s tainted and essentially decides its a lost cause. the Captain refuses to give up on her because his boner was drowning out everything she said, so he insists on making one more attempt to retrieve her. which goes poorly because he dies. because of her. good going, idiot, next time, ignore your penis. gj, sir.

though i suppose the good ending would be using the Hero as a bargaining tool to force negotiations, which was probably the villain’s end goal. she gave them 2 weeks because she expected theyd reach out to negotiate, but instead they invaded her country and tried to kill her, ending in the Captain’s severe injury and the Fear of God being struck in every witnessing member.

then after the captains death later (when the second attempt to ‘rescue’ the maiden fails spectacularly), which is an escalation, they finally agree to negotiate before shit could get worse. probably involves a group of light maidens working together (headed by the Hero) to do some cleansing with like, a land exchange or smth. and with the kingdom cleansed, the travel ban is opened (aka the dark kingdom had permanently closed borders, essentially because every single neighbouring country refused to let people in.) though idk if there are actually other countries doing anything. leave it to these two to deal with it. the idea to explain that was that like, theres a natural border that means Only the Light Kingdom has to deal with the seeping darkness. ie an ocean or having both kingdoms inside a caldera. good fun. though of course if having an ocean theoretically prevents the spread of darkness then the kingdom would be less fucked because Damn DUde Fish! fish time! though the lack of general vegetation isnt exactly Ideal and you can only eat so many fish before you end up overfishing and running out of resources. which is probably what would have happened. so it was only a temporary fix. i guess that ties into the fact that the darkness slowly spread from the center, since the farms on the outer wouldv esurvived until the darkness claimed them, so it was a sudden jolt downwards (when the darkness Came) and then a slow descent into abject nasty.

nice

[aventuramexicana]

My Friends Visit!

Guess what? You just boarded a time machine and we are back in February. You’re welcome.

February 21st (Tuesday)-

My friends, and former co-workers, Sarah and Julia, got into their hotel in Oaxaca fairly late the night before but woke up ready to explore. I was super excited to have them visiting for so many reasons. First off, because they are both just really great women.  Additionally, because we are all, to varying degrees, Mexican in descent, and there’s something cool about being able to share the experience of being in Mexico with people who are tied to it, but never lived there. On top of that, Julia had already been to Oaxaca a couple of times as part of a program through the Public Health department at San Jose State. The school organizes trips every year for public health students, where they spend a few days in the city, and a few days with host families in the neighboring village of Arrozola. They offer public health related services and get a chance to experience the culture in the process.

By the time that I met up with them, at approximately 11 a.m., the two of them had spoken with a woman working at the tour desk, and bought tickets for a full-day tour the following day. I bought myself a ticket as well and then we went strolling around my favorite parts of the city center. Those areas tend to be a little more upscale, and as a result I often struggle to reconcile my personal values with my somewhat snobby taste, but who doesn’t like nice things? Anyway, we did a quick tour through the Zocalo, and the Plaza de Santo Domingo, and just sorta wandered and did some shopping from there. We stopped at one of my favorite restaurants, Expendio Tradición for lunch. I had esquite soup while the others had ceviche, salad, and something or another. I don’t know, it’s been a month. The point is that all of us enjoyed our meal.

We continued to shop and wander through the city for several more hours, which really helped with my step count on my Fitbit. This was important to me in that moment because I alternate between caring deeply about my step count, and not caring at all, depending on how my week is going. Basically, I only care when I am “winning”, the rest of the time I tell myself “I’m not competing. This doesn’t mean anything”. It is a very convenient approach to competition.

In the evening I brought Sarah and Julia back to my apartment and we had a conversation about the cost of living in Silicon Valley, and how absurd it feels when you can contrast it with the cost of living… pretty much anywhere else. But that is especially true in Oaxaca. For what I paid in rent there, I mighttt be able to find a closet to rent in somebody’s home in San Jose, and I could forget about finding a garage to live in. A garage would run me somewhere around $800/month.

I introduced Sarah and Julia to my neighbors in the evening when they all met up on the roof, and after chatting with them for a bit, I picked one neighbor’s brain for some suggestions for a decent vegetarian meal. Oh yeah! Julia is vegetarian too! It was actually really nice to have another vegetarian around, especially one who speaks better Spanish than I do. It made me feel less concerned that I might be accidentally duped into eating meat, simply because I wouldn't understand everything listed on the menu, or know the right questions to ask of the waitstaff.

Anyway, we took a cab to Calabacitas Tiernas, my other favorite spot. It is the same one that has that independent bookstore attached to it. This time I cannot even begin to recall what either of them ordered, but I had the same thing that I always get, which is essentially fried cheese with tomato. What is not to love about that? Then after our meal, we wandered around the little bookstore and remarked to each other about all of the progressive or subversive literature. I love it. I love that there are sections in there devoted to feminism, LGBTQ issues, anarchism, political resistance, etc. It’s such an interesting window into that side of Oaxacan culture.

We walked back, since that direction was downhill, and quickly stopped in a convenience store on the way to the hotel so that Julia could look for her favorite Doritos. They come in a black bag and they’re called Incognito. I don’t know if they sell them anywhere else (like anywhere in the States), but she knew that she could find them in Mexico and was on a mission to track them down.

February 22nd (Wednesday)-

I met up with my friends at their hotel just before 9 AM and we got in a big van with several other people and set out toward Santa Maria de Tule to see the Árbol del Tule (the Tree of Tule). I’m going to be honest with you, the Árbol del Tule does, in fact, have the stoutest trunk of any tree in the world, and it has 4.7 (out of 5) stars in terms of Google Reviews. Still, as someone who used to walk through the redwoods to get to class on campus at UCSC, it just didn’t do much for me. It was really wide and quite tall, but it just didn’t blow me away. Maybe if I’d grown up in the Arizona desert I would be like, “Holy crap! Look at that tree! The tallest cactus I ever saw doesn’t even come close!” But I am a spoiled Californian, and what am I going to do, lie? Fine, it blew my mind. Photos of Tule

Next stop on our trip was a rug making shop in Teotitlán del Valle. The staff there did a demonstration on the way that they use all natural resources to dye the natural fibers, to make the rugs. Now, this was awesome. Did you know that the color blue comes from crushing up a plant that has orange flowers? Isn’t that cool? Also, we already know that I think lime is magical, but it can be used as an acid to adjust natural colors to just the right shade. It was seriously neat to watch the tiny little alterations that could be made to turn something from one color to an entirely different one. Oh! How about this? They get red by waiting until cacti are ravaged by little white parasites and then they crush the little parasites and that’s where the color red comes from.

Then once we had seen how they make all of the different colors to dye the yarn, we got to see how they actually weave the rugs, using a giant wooden loom, and essentially carbon-paper templates.  Still, even with the aid of this mechanical loom, the vast majority of the labor is done by hand. It is truly remarkable. I kinda wanted to buy all of the rugs. I loved the variety, but was especially drawn to the purple and blue ones, and all of the rugs that showcase some sort of scene and are meant to be hung on a wall rather than placed on the ground. The ones with the tree of life on them were some of my favorites, but I also really loved the traditional pueblo landscapes. If they had allowed me, I surely would have taken tons of photos of the rugs, but unfortunately, I was not able to.

Next stop: A mezcal factory in Tlacolula. As someone who doesn’t drink alcohol, I wasn’t expecting to get much out of it, but I thought it was really cool. They showed us the specific type of agave plants that are used and then took us through the various steps needed to turn it into mezcal. My favorite part was that they let us sample the agave in its raw state. It was really sweet but also had a strangely meaty-flavor. It reminded me of beef jerky (as best as I can remember what it tasted like, anyway). Photos from El Rey de Matatlán

From there we went to Mitla. I enjoyed it. I would have a hard time making the case that it is as impressive or cool as Monte Albán, but it was still definitely worth seeing. Plus you actually get to enter the buildings at Mitla, and that was pretty neat. It also served as another reminder that I am not normal-human height, and that I most certainly would not have been back in the days when it was being built. I had to fully crouch down, not merely duck, to get through the doorways. There was also a little underground tunnel, but after watching several people, much shorter than myself, duck to get in and emerge from the other side still bent-over, I decided it wasn’t for me. Photos from Mitla

Finally, it was lunch time. I cannot even begin to express how happy this made me. I have a well-earned reputation as someone who needs to eat pretty much constantly. I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that if I go too long without eating I turn into a bit of a monster. Anyway, the food was fantastic. The restaurant itself was lovely and decorated beautifully with talavera tiles, wrought iron decor, and rustic Mexican wood furniture. But back to the food. The first thing you need to know is that it was a buffet, and that even as a vegetarian I ate like a queen. I sampled a whole bunch of things during my first serving, but then gave up on pretending to have a balanced diet, and went back just for white rice covered in mole negro. It was fantastic.

Last stop: Hierve el Agua. It was gorgeous and, I would argue, a must-see for anyone visiting Oaxaca. That said, getting there was pretty uncomfortable for me. I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was nearly 18 because I used to have terrible nightmares about driving, starting when I was about 8 years old. The nightmares followed one of two standard formats. Either I was driving through a pedestrian-heavy area (like a theme park), and could not pull my foot off the gas, or I would drive straight off the side of a mountain. All this to say, the road to Hierve el Agua is hardly a road at all. It is a mountainside, and most of it is not paved. From my perspective, it is also only suitable for one car or van at a time. Unfortunately, that is not how it is treated. I get car sickness pretty easily, but add a healthy dose of terror onto that, and this was a whole different level. I was legit breathing like a woman in labor.

Fortunately, we made it. It was stunning. I want my ashes scattered in the pools of it. Just kidding, people swim there. That would be gross.  I don’t know know how much more I have to say about it, except that you should enjoy my photos then go see it for yourself. Oh! I know! When you do go see it for yourself it would be nice if you could please not give other people several small heart attacks by standing on the veryyyy edge for a photo. In this era of Instagram celebrities and selfie-sticks, people are actually dying in pursuit of the perfect photo. And I’m not ragging on either of those things; I have both. But there were moments when I wanted to yell at grown people to please take one large step forward. I swear they were not going to lose any Instagram followers over it.

Also, I will likely be going back to Hierve el Agua with my parents in just a handful of weeks. I plan to dope myself up with Dramamine to help me get through the drive. I will let you know how it goes. Also, the ride back down the mountain was still rough on my stomach but did not feel nearly as treacherous, so at least that worked out in my favor. Photos from Hierve el Agua

February 23 (Thursday)- Sarah, Julia and I set out at approximately 9 a.m. in a cab headed for Monte Albán, which of course, meant another winding ride up a mountainside, but what can you do? Monte Albán was beautiful, just as it had been the last time that I was there with Lee, but this trip had a couple of things working in its favor. First off, I didn’t have to listen to some tour guide who was overly fond of the sound of his own voice, and secondly, it was sunny.

We climbed to the top of the largest pyramid, took some photos, and saw a class of tiny children (approximately kinder or 1st graders) take a class photo and then RUN down the steps. Honestly, I could barely stand to watch it. As someone whose parents invested a lot of money in her dental care, the visual of any of those kids nosediving down the steps and cracking their teeth, was all too real for me. Still, I have to admit, this is why you expose kids to semi-dangerous things (like skateboarding) at a young age. They are too naive to be nervous, and when you aren’t nervous, you’re more likely to come out of it alright. We got some ice cream from a Monolo’s stand near the entrance/exit and waited for a cab to come all the way from el Centro to pick us up. We were told by another cab driver that our driver would be there in “10 minutes” which was a charmingly blatant lie (or deceit rather), seeing as we had just taken a cab from the same place, and that ride took half an hour. Photos from Monte Albán

We went from Monte Albán to Arrazola, a trip that took us approximately 45 minutes, but only because our driver got a little bit lost. Once we were there, we had the great pleasure of meeting Julia’s former host family; quite possibly the kindest people I have ever met. Julia’s host-brother walked us around the small town and told us about local legends and things, while his mom prepared food for us. My meal was delicious. It was quesillo enchiladas with mole and rice, and coke, of course. Honestly, I think it was the best food that I’d eaten since I arrived in Oaxaca. I know it is cheesy to say, but you just can’t beat food that is prepared with love. Julia’s host family makes a living by making alebrijes, and I felt fortunate to have the opportunity to support them by purchasing one that I really loved. There’s so much that I would like to say about our conversation over lunch, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable about sacrificing their privacy in that way. What I can say is that they were incredibly kind people, and it meant so much to me that they were so patient with me as I stumbled my way through their language. It was a truly affirming experience, to realize, “This is why I am doing this. Learning a language is hard, but if I don't put myself out there, and trade in my pride once in a while, I could never have the privilege of getting to know these fantastic people.” Photos from Arrazola Frankly, and I don’t mean this in a pretentious or condescending way -- and I certainly don’t think I’m better than anybody else just because I prioritized my life this way -- but it makes me feel bad for all of the people in the United States who pass by the same people every day on their way to and from work, out to lunch, whatever, and never know how incredible those people are because they don’t speak the same language. February 24 (Friday)- In the morning I went to the immigration office and picked up my temporary resident ID card. It felt fantastic. On the way to meet my friends, who had already set out shopping, I listened to some of my favorite music and practically skipped through the streets. At that moment, it all just felt so right. The weather was beautiful, I had the invaluable support of my friends, and everything had come together in a way that felt “meant to be” (though I’m not sure I believe in that sort of thing anyway).

We spent pretty much the entire day shopping, which of course, was right up my alley. I may not have been able to direct anyone to the restaurant serving the most authentic pozole, but I can tell you where to shop.  This fact fills me with a mixed sense of pride and shame, but it was nice to be able to quell the shame side of that, as my knowledge of where to get things did actually come in handy. For example, Sarah was looking for candy that she could buy in bulk to share with people back home. Who knows a candy store that sells the classic Mexican stuff in bulk? This girl right here.

For dinner, we went to this place called Zandunga, which coincidentally happens to be #1 on Buzzfeed’s list of restaurants in Oaxaca that you have to visit at least once in your life. I didn’t know that at the time but gathered it must be pretty popular because it was the first restaurant I had been to in the city where there was a wait to get in. Still, the wait was short, we were quickly seated, took in the trendy setting, and ordered up an appetizer of guacamole and totopos (chips).

I was stupidly excited to eat real guacamole. Oaxacan guacamole is actually a bit more of a green salsa, which just doesn’t do it for me. I can’t quite speak for anyone else, but my meal (cheese enmoladas with both mole negro and mole rojo) were delicious. The restaurant also specializes in mezcal and mezcal cocktails, a perk that was wasted on me, but that many others seemed to enjoy.

Sarah, Julia and I walked back to our hotel after dinner and said goodbye there. It was totally bittersweet for me. I loved having friends around, and those two women are a couple of the nicest, most genuine people that I know. Even bigger than that, they are both deeply empathetic and have an innate drive to do for others. For those few days, I felt more supported and empowered to tackle the more intimidating parts of living abroad than I had in quite some time. Perhaps the most impactful to me was that having them around made me really feel “seen”.

I am under no illusion that I’m everyone’s cup of tea, and that has at times presented challenges for me, in terms of making friends in a dramatically new and different environment. So it was truly a gift to be able to experience the ease with which we related to one another. Which, I imagine for some, would be frustrating, and might even feel like a curse. Maybe some people would walk away thinking, “See, I get along so well with them! Why can’t I find anyone who gets me like that here!?” But it left me feeling optimistic, rather than defeated. I walked away thinking, “See, I get along so well with them! I am pretty cool! People like me! I just need to find the right people.” And, for the first time in a long time, I felt really capable of doing it.