#its like realizin all my cryin & procrastinatin & feelin stuck doin things i hate wasnt me just bein lazy but mental health issues as a kid
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Me: Why r my adhd meds making me feel worse not better :( Also I am the meanest person alive I shall hide in my room and sleep forever from guilt
A few weeks later
*Gets diagnosed with Bipolar* OHHHHHHHH
#NOW WERE GETTIN SOMEWHERE#now: to find out if the issues focusing are all bipolar or also adhd#and how the heck to get adhd meds thst dont ruin the help of the bipolar meds im trying#if these meds are even the ones but i have high hopes cause they work for mom!#THIS COULD BE IT#rambles#disabilities#i always suspected bipolar a little bit cause genetics but thought most likely not#suspected a lot MORE 2020 on as all the stress exacerbated symptoms#but i really didnt want it to be true#and now even looking back to being a kid#so many things clicking i feel so STUPID#its like realizin all my cryin & procrastinatin & feelin stuck doin things i hate wasnt me just bein lazy but mental health issues as a kid#realizing i might not be evil after all! TWO!!#still should stay in my room until i can wean off the adhd meds though just because i understand my outbursts doesnt mean i can excuse em#all i can think to do lol#the thing that scares me is how it comes out of nowhere it didnt happen very often as a kid and was a lot of bottled up anger#or run around the yard about it#i wonder if i have mixed affective state#it just goes from manic to depressed and vice versa on a DIME its scary
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