#its much easier to talk and vibe about a piece of art vocally than to try and make everything uber succint in writing

[parisoonic]

How the hell do you manage to superimpose the hilariously exagerated proportions of the tf2 mercs into a cohesive 2d style? I always struggle SO much with like, the way the mercs' models have huge hands, the way they have relatively low-poly definition on things like arms, shoulders, and legs... and Especially the way like, the models are kinda janky when you pose them for art purposes- when using movement tools, things like armpits and seams between body parts get all deformed... Which makes the study of form and silhouette rather difficult.

I assume that a lot of your ability to translate the concept of the mercs from their original mediums into your own works of art comes to you quite naturally- through experience you have with drawing and art style stuff, as well as through intuition. I was simply wondering if I could poke at your mind and get some insight into your process, any thoughts you have about the proportions and silhouettes of the mercs, any quirks you've found while drawing the mercs, or simply what you enjoy drawing about them. Like, don't be afraid to infodump about something just because you think people wouldn't find it interesting- I am here, I am sitting, and I am listening- if you so choose to speak.

I am utterly fascinated and enraptured by the more behind-the-scenes aspect of art. The mundane things that come second nature to great artists yet seem so revolutionary to less experienced artists.

I love your work, I look forward to seeing more of it, and I hope you have a nice day :]

Sorry for the late reply! I've been a little…stuck on how to answer this but that's mainly because to me, drawing is composed of SO many different little skills - you have form, anatomy, shape language, silhouette, appeal, rhythm, acting and posing…not to mention everything AFTER your raw draughtmanship like line style, rendering and colour theory. Trying to distill a multiude of small skills into some pithy advice is overwhelming to my brain. So I'll take the invitation to ramble instead :))

I don't think I have any new or revolutionary insight into the tf2 guys specifically - more I'm using them as work horses to excercise general silhouette/posing/shape-language and further my skills when it comes to drawing characters!

I do agree though the proportions are rather silly when you stop and think about them realistically…they can be kinda tricky if you follow their 'actual' proportions. what looks great individually was maybe never meant to be directly compared (ie: Heavy's hand size against Spy's lol). It would've been funny if the TV show exsisted and we had more content to review…would the animators have had rules like Spy and Heavy can never shake hands? Would they cheated the proportions for shots? Or would they have said WHATVER it's gonna look weird and embraced it? (Like Kingpin in Spiderverse lol)

Paul Lasaine for 'Into the Spiderverse' This is AWESOME. But it's also one of the silliest designs I've ever seen comitted to screen. The varied scales of the characters work because of the unifying treatment (lighting, rendering, consistant hand anatomy, consistant clothing fold treatment etc) and because they are sort of proportional within themselves. A common mantra is that hands should be about as large as a characters face....which they all are here!

Human brains are very flexible and forgiving though. It's totally fine for you to put a character with huge hands and head next to a teeny tiny character! Vanellope and Ralph from Wreck-It Ralph look grand next to each other! And in that film you even have varying levels of stylisation sitting against each other (unified by the look dev treatment of the shaders and lighting). I think as long as the chracter is proportional within themselves it sort of works out. IE: a general rule is that a hand should be as large as the face so…you can have some large arse hands as long as their placed on a body with a big arse head. Unifying characters with the same treatment (ie: lineart brush, colouring style will also help them look cohesive next to each other :) )

I don't actually reference the 3D models/animations very much at all and instead draw their proportions based on my tastes for stylisation following their general vibes/silhouette profiles. I don't stick THAT close to their in-game looks and there are artists who do that are so so so much better than me (Creedei and Flapjack come to mind). I'm not amazing at body-type differentation and TBH they're all wearing chunky clothes all the time so I usually draw the guys as one-of-three body shapes: Heavy is the uniquely wide guy; Sniper/Scout/Spy are all tall and slim and Demo/Soldier/Medic/Engie have a little more of the generic 'hero' bodytype with varying tallness and broadness of the shoulders

Something like this! You can vary all these individual elements in terms of size, thickness, taper amount etc to create different characters. If you ARE going to reference the 3d works though you'll need to apply some anatomy knowledge to overcome the weird shoulders, armpits and knees which desperately need blendshapes to correct the 3D volumes and approach it a little more like an animation supervisor. There's a reason why you see in making-ofs and art-ofs character designers, character leads or animation supes doing drawovers of the models. These are character models that have had great effort put into their 'base' silhouette but it still needs to be reinforced in every frame for maximum appeal.

Shiyoon Kim for 'Raya' This sort of thing will occur at multiple stages during the animation process. Shiyoon Kim's notes are post final model but pre-animation. Most likely for internal rig tests, exploring what blend shapes and alt shapes are needed for the rigs etc. If your production has time, this will continue all the way to final anim. IF! But it's interesting to see how he emphasises the shapes and enhances the character acting of the 3d model.

As for 'mundane things' - I wouldn't say they're second nature! (If that makes you feel better!) I have to actively really persue certain advice and try to figure out how to best apply it. This can sometimes involve redrawing and redrawing an element of the drawing until I've grasped the nettle of whatever I'm after or…..until I get frustrated and either delete the drawing or just call it done lol

Here, I'm looking for a really specific flow of the head that sells both the acting and a subtle head tilt. I'm also trying to apply the general mantra regarding faces that converging lines (set by the eyebrows and mouth) are more appealing than parallel. It's tough! I also tend to use a drawing I've already done as a template/reference on the page too. Oh! This page is an amazing example of why I'm not an animator or storyboarder…consistancy? Who is she? 💅

Converging lines (that form tapered shapes) are always more appealing than parallel. Using this logic you can loft the facial features across converging lines to create dynamic appealing espressions. Combining this with anatomy, perspective and rotation is the tough part though. I'm still learning o7

The things I probably think about MOST are always flats vs curves, simple vs complex and general line of action/flow...and then eliminting tangents. Each of these can be a dedicated visual-essay on their own - hence my stumbling as to answer your question. Anyhow, not sure if it's ever come up on this blog but I looove dinosaurs :)) so i'm using a wee piece to demostrate these ideas! (but also to demostrate these concepts apply to everything from humans characters to animals, props and background design)

Okay, I'm getting self-aware that this is getting really long :') I have a wee tutorial tag for my blog if anyone wants to comb through my garbled art-thoughts. Learning, studying, repetition and practice will always be the greatest teachers! I'm glad you like my art- thank you so much for the lovely comments - I feel like such a noob still and not qualified to give people advice but we're in it together learning! High-five! 🙌

[angeltriestoblog]

I Miss 5 Seconds of Summer???

A few days after 5 Seconds of Summer held their concert in the Philippines last 2016, I wrote a blog post with this exact same title then went on to elaborate that I missed the version of them that I fell in love with. I’ve unarchived it so anyone who bothers to read this has a salient starting point, but be warned: I seriously can’t make it through the entire thing without suffering from a chronic cringe attack—who ever told 16-year-old me that she could write?!

—

I have listened to 5SOS’ entire discography almost exclusively today. But my Spotify followers wouldn’t know. In an expert attempt to evade their judgment, I go on Private Mode so I can cry to their music in peace. I’ve also been watching a couple of their videos too. My favorite is this live performance of Ghost of You where Calum Hood does some immaculate vocal blending at the 1:26 mark. I have my watch history paused though so I don’t get bombarded with more recommendations and end up spiraling further down the hole.

It’s funny how I think that removing every trace of related activity on my corner of the Internet could also erase it from my own memory, render it as a mere figment of my imagination instead of a clear manifestation that I’m starting to like them again. And it might seem even funnier that I am convinced that people care! But then again, I did unstan them pretty publicly a few years back following a misogynistic interview they did for an issue of Rolling Stone, which also featured all four of them almost fully nude on the cover.

To this day, I continue to dissect the piece with one part of me thinking that I might have overreacted, having seen and read it for the first time when I was 14 and much more of a prude, and the other knowing that I did not. In one paragraph, Luke Hemmings admits that during the early years of the band, they took advantage of the amount of female attention they were at the center of. “They were wildest on their early tours, when they’d go to bars to mingle with fans after shows,” it read.

In another, Hood talks quite nonchalantly about his infamous dick pic that made its rounds on the Internet the year before, and how it surprisingly gave the band a lot of publicity. “Now I’m just working on the sex tape,” he jokes. “I’ll call Pamela up, like, ‘Hey, it’s been a while. We really need to hype this band up!’”

Having risen to fame as the opening act of the clean-cut British-Irish group One Direction, 5SOS was immediately touted as a boyband—next in line to 1D’s throne, or competing with them for the crown, depends on which magazine you read. Though this exposure granted them a huge teenage fanbase (myself included), they hated the label that came with it. They constantly asserted that they played their own instruments and wrote their own songs, and behaved in a way that well-curated, expertly marketed groups would not: carefree, loud, playfully and forgivably naughty. No one would believe them though. People would say it’s the curse of being conventionally attractive in the music industry. You were almost always expected to be a popstar, a commodity that catered to the masses. But they tried anyway: maybe a lip ring and a couple of tattoos would do the trick, sprinkle some curse words here and there in interviews, get caught smoking or drinking.

That interview was their final act: their big-time effort to break away and hopefully land a spot amongst the rock bands they looked up to and wanted so desperately to impress. Even if it meant objectifying, mocking, and taking advantage of the girls who propelled them to stardom in the first place. Simply put, that interview was them desperately trying to get rid of fans like me. And so, I obliged.

—

Now that I’ve been staying at home for almost three months straight, I have revisited a lot of old favorites: poorly written fan fiction I used to eat up in my early teenage years, full seasons of Nickelodeon TV shows (only the good ones) downloaded off sketchy places on the Internet, my childhood journals filled with my loopy handwriting and family of stick figures. I know I’m not alone in this pursuit: it seems like we’re all holding on to remnants of our past to remind us that we have experienced better days, and they will surely come again soon.

I felt like it was inevitable I’d return to 5SOS because they had released their fourth full-length album during the first few weeks of the quarantine. Everywhere on social media, I was reminded that one single was out, and then another, and then another and I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. After all, I did give Youngblood, their third record, a spin when it first came out as well. I thought their attempts at experimentation bordered on pretentiousness, and figured that if this was the musical direction they wanted to take, I’d surely hate every succeeding record as well.

But the problem was I really liked it. Although it wasn’t a no-skip album, each track was different from the rest, all showing a level of inventiveness and mastery of musical technique not present in previous releases. After playing the entire thing again and again, even the songs I didn’t vibe with at first started to grow on me. Turns out the beauty of Easier and Teeth is in the details: the thrumming bass at the beginning, the unconventional vocal inflections, best appreciated in an enclosed area with the volume on high. My amazement at how their musical style had progressed over the years led to me listening to all of their albums in chronological order, then rewatching some of their funniest interviews which were alarmingly easy to retrieve from memory.

During these times, I’ve wondered why I still remain curious about what they’re doing, why I still give their music a shot when I see it on my Release Radar. They never apologized for the article and I assume that they talk about things of that sort even more now that they’re older.

And I guess the answer is simple. Besides the fact that the music is honest to God amazing, they kind of made me who I am. Having found them during the height of my teen angst phase, I reveled in having idols who were open about rebelling against the system and forging our own paths despite being looked down on by those older than us. It was through them that I was introduced to bands that further diversified my taste in music, that I started experimenting with a more introspective type of writing that led to the style I employ to this day. I made so many good friends because of them, some of which are still in my life today. Looking back, I wouldn’t consider it the best version of myself but she was different. More importantly, she was really happy.

—

I am well-versed in the discourse surrounding problematic faves, and I know that if I ever find myself in such a situation, I have two options: either go down the productive, politically correct road and steer clear from them, or continue to consume their work but with the knowledge that what they did was inexcusable. I teeter between boycotting their music altogether—because even Spotify streams can be translated into revenue and there’s nothing that powers oppressors like financial stability and fame—and choosing to separate the art from the artist so I can appreciate good work without the reputation of its creator clouding my judgment.

I guess at this point, I probably am looking at them with rose-tinted glasses. I heard that some victims of even the most abusive and toxic relationships look back at their time with their former significant others with fondness. Though what I had with Calum, Ashton, Luke, and Michael was nowhere near romantic, and their transgressions far from a personal attack, maybe it applies to my situation too. I look at 5SOS now through the lens of the 14-year-old who embedded watching Keeks into her daily routine, or fell asleep listening to Heartbreak Girl on repeat and rejoiced when it hit 1,000 plays on her iTunes. They are no longer that band, and I am no longer that girl. And while it doesn’t hurt to remember the times when we were those people, I must remind myself that things can never go back to the way they were.

Maybe this doesn’t have to be as dramatic as I’m making it. But that’s the good thing about keeping this blog despite getting published on other corners of the Internet—I can make it as dramatic as I want to be.

[meltedmagazine]

AN INTERVIEW WITH IAN RIDENHOUR

I spent the weekend with alternative rock soloist Ian Ridenhour and his band as they prepared for and performed at Panoply Music Festival in Huntsville, Alabama. Ian took on the main stage of the downtown art festival at 3:45 PM, and was the first performer of the day to play original music. His energetic set lasted until around 5:00 PM. Afterwards, we hung out for a few hours as I photographed him and his recently-added vocalist Rain Lupia on my Nikon F3 Camera with a roll of 400 ISO Kodak gold film. In fact, I took photos of Ian and his band (which comprised of Ian Ridenhour, Rain Lupia, Jameson Ridenhour, James Kylen, and Brennan Dugan) over the span of three days: the Friday before, the Saturday of, and the Sunday after. On Friday, I loaded up my camera with 24 exposures of Holga black and white film and shot relaxation after preparation. After finishing that roll on Saturday morning, I decided to go with my tried and true Kodak gold film. On Sunday, as we drove away from Huntsville and back to our town of Asheville, I kept the gold in my Nikon and shot some frames at rest stops and gas stations.

Who are you?

Some asshole. Naaah I’m Ian Ridenhour. I’m a 16 year-old, Asheville-based musician. I’ve been playing music for about ten years. This is what I’ve always done, this is what I always want to do.

What are your roots? When did you begin writing, playing with a band, and performing?

I was primarily a drummer. At age one and a half or two, I started beating on pots and pans, really more around three I guess. Just pretending to be Mick Fleetwood from Fleetwood Mac. I loved it. For my fourth christmas, my parents got me a drum set and I took off. I played drums all the time, it was my favorite thing to do. When I was around six, my dad decided it would be fun to start playing in a band. My dad and I played as a duo for a while, just doing tiny little shows, and it was more of a novelty than anything else, like “Look at this six year old kid who can play the drums! Isn’t that cool?” And then, at age seven I wrote my first song, which is difficult without a melodic instrument. It’s really really hard. When I wrote that first song I knew I had to learn something else so that I was able to songwrite, as well. It took me forever not just to write it but to explain what was happening in my head. So I taught myself piano at age eight or nine. I fell in love with the piano. And just as a band leader, that’s much easier to write and perform on.  That has become my main instrument recently. We added a saxophone player to the band that my dad and I were in. We called it “Blind Mice”. We played around Bismarck, ND where I was living at the time. Super fun. Later on i was paying with different bands and experimenting more with different combinations of musicians and started working as a solo artist around age 13 or 14.

Right, because you wrote some songs for your first album at that time, around 13 or 14?

Yeah, I recorded the first album in 2014, and the first song off of the album, Along the Lines of Fairytales, I recorded when I was 14 and wrote it when I was 12. It wasn’t the first song I ever released but we’re going to pretend like that first song never existed.

What do you want out of music/ the music industry? What does success look like to you?

Man, it could be a lot of different things. Honestly, right now, I’m just having fun. Music is so much fun, and playing with the people that I play with is just a gift. I feel really truly honored to be able to play with such incredible musicians and have people feel like my music is worth listening to. It feels so good, being on stage feels so good. Ultimately, as long as I’m doing that, I’m going to be happy. The goal is to, y’know, I want to be touring, I want to be playing on a bigger level, for wider audiences across the country and the world. I’ve always wanted to travel with my music. Honestly, the music industry, especially in Asheville, is incredibly kind and welcoming and supportive and I just want to be a part of it. And I’m really happy that I am.

Asheville! What’s the music scene like there?

It’s super kind and compassionate. There are so many talented musicians, and in towns where you’ve got so much talent, it’s hyper competitive. When you get into towns with bigger music scenes, everyone is looking out for themselves. And I can’t really blame them for that, I get it. In Asheville, it’s so not that vibe at all. Everyone is so kind and generous and want s to support each other.I feel like I've said that in three or four different phrasings already, but it’s true! All of the people in the scene here are just the most compassionate people. They’re so willing to accept you into their environment, an take your under their wing. As a younger musician where it’s traditionally much harder to get into venues, and harder to be treated as a professional, it’s a gift to have such a wonderful community around me. And these guys are crazy talented. Asheville is just full of killer players. It’s a blast playing with them.

What bands/artists influence your sound the most?

Like everything? Haha! The obvious comparisons that a lot of people make are Ben Folds, Billy Joel (to a degree). There’s some weirder influences. One of the quotes that we use in press kits is, a friend of mine described my sound as “like Jack White and Ben Folds had a baby”. I listen to a lot of -- honestly it’s harder to describe specific influences and more just things that I listen to. I feel like I try to incorporate little pieces of everything that I listen to into my music. So, The Accidentals, for sure. Elbow is an influence, Fall Out Boy, Panic at The Disco, all of the emo bands that everyone used to listen to. I still listen to them. But they’ve got merit to them. They’ve got interesting songwriting, and that style is something I take from. Even bands like Twenty-One Pilots or whatever. My sound is nothing like them. But lyrically, they’re very interesting. I take from Icarus the Owl, in terms of rhythmic feel. I listen to Alt-J, July Talk, Dead Sara, Wolf Alice, I just try to listen to  a lot of different styles. I listen to--  I’m sure I could go on for hours -- older bands, too, like I grew up on The Police, Rush, and stuff like that. That was definitely an influence.

I saw a guy, in the audience of the band who performed before you at Panoply, who had a Rush T-Shirt on --

Doing all of the air drumming! Dude that was awesome. I love people like that. He was super cool.

Tell us about the “National Public Mother Fucking Radio” sticker on your piano. What does it mean to you?

That was a birthday gift from David LaMotte. It was a birthday show I was playing at the White Horse, and he was guesting on the set. I’m friends with BJ Leiderman who composes a fair amount of the National Public Radio theme songs.  He’s a super cool guy. David is friends with him, and he’s a part of the community. David thought it would be funny to give me that sticker for my birthday. I loved it! I stuck it on my piano. I’m want to get more sticker for my piano. So if you have any cool band stickers and you want to send them my way, anyone who is reading this, please do.

You mentioned the White Horse. Is that your favorite venue or do you have any other venues that you love?

Oh yeah, absolutely. Each venue has its merits, and there’s definitely things that I like about other venues in Asheville but The White Horse has always been a home for me. I live really close to there, I’m really really good friends with the owners, I helped run social media there for a while. The White Horse is so cool. They've got such a welcoming environment. They do so much for the community. They are absolutely incredible. If you’re in Asheville, and the white horse is a bit of a drive, you should still go. It’s worth the drive. It’s a great sounding room. My band sounds the best they ever do in that room.

You recently added another singer, Rain Lupia, to the mix. Why did you decide to incorporate another voice? How’s it been with another vocal performer alongside you?

I have always worked with vocalists. I have always liked working with vocalists. I’ve been doing that since I first started out as a solo artist. I’d have people come in and guest on a couple of tunes, and it was more convenience than anything. I’ve thought about adding harmonies for a while, but I’ve never had a consistent singer to do that because I’ve been working around with other people. But Rain lives close, she knows the music, and she sounds awesome on it. So it was more of a logical step. And it’s great. I love having the backup vocals. It’s great. And I want to add more as we work with her more. It’s really super fun having that extra piece to the band.  

How was Panoply?

It was fun! It was super fun. I had a lot of fun. It was so hot, man it was really hot. But it was fun! Yeah it was not exactly what I expected but I’m not really sure what I expected so that’s not really an accurate reference point. But the crowds were great, the people were really friendly, the art was super cool. It was a lot of fun walking around and seeing everything that was going on. I saw a martial arts display where they were breaking through wooden boards that had “bullying” and “peer pressure” painted on them, which is a cool little touch, I saw a street magician pull a specific card out of a deck with his mouth and fold it over in his mouth, my drummer almost bought a shark on a stick. Outside of the actual festival itself, which was super cool, it was a blast. It was the biggest stage I’ve ever performed on. I was super honored to be there. We’ve never really played festivals before. It was great. I got to perform in front of a lot of my family who had never seen me perform before. My cousin was going to go to a wedding and ditched at the last second because she wanted to see me perform.

That’s dedication. And that’s dedication for you, too. You’re at a point now to where you and your extended family will drive six hours to perform.

Yea! I’ve been out of school for several years now, and this is just what I've always wanted to do. The fact that we get to do it now is just -- well my dad is in the band, my mom is essentially my manager. I don’t think its ever really been a question that if we could do it we would do it. It’s wonderful to have their support, and I’m really grateful that they made the drive. Because, y’know, I’m not driving at all, I’m just sitting in a car for six hours, which is easy for me.I get to sleep! But yeah we’re really committed to this and we want to see it go far.

Do you listen to more tangible means of music, like cassettes, records, or CD’s or are you more of a digital guy?

Y’know, I really am more of a digital guy. I understand the merit of the older stuff, an I’ve always been fascinated by the analog vs. digital argument. Overall, digital is much easier. It allows me to store more music with me at a time. It’s primarily convenience. I just love having my iPod with a ton of music on me. I do most of my recordings for other musicians [who will play in the band]  on my voice memos to just send it over, I’ve got the album on there, which we were listening on the way down [to Panoply] to get familiar with it. We’ve also got CDs, and my family does listen to records in the living room,  which is super fun. I get the appeal of records, it’s a much warmer sound. It provides a good atmosphere, and it’s an experience. Digital music is more . . . it’s anywhere, it’s anytime, it’s more flexible.

An artist, album, or song that makes you feel a heavy dose of nostalgia?

Fall out Boy. I listened to Fall out Boy in my senior year of high school. And that was right before I moved to North Carolina, so it was with all of my friends in North Dakota. It was just a blast hanging out and just blasting Folie à deux. It brings me back to them, and the people that I miss there. Rush.  I grew up listening to Rush. Listening to Rush brings me back, which has its pros and cons. I usually don’t reminisce about my childhood, but it’s cool to be transported back to there.

Based on that, would you call yourself more of a nostalgic guy, or are you more forward-driven?

It’s always been drive forward. Not to be shitting all over your focus on nostalgia, but nostalgia for me just makes me sad. I lived in North Dakota for ten years, and I made a lot of friends there. Still, a lot of that nostalgia is like “aww . . .  I miss those people.” But it’s easier for me to focus on the forward. There’s a lot that’s happening in the near future, and it’s overwhelming if I don’t think about it. Not that nostalgia is bad. I’ll still play Magic the Gathering now and then, and remember “aww. . . I used to do this all the time in high school.”

What’s next for Ian Ridenhour?

After I get back, I've got three shows lined up in the next two weeks, and it’s finals week at UNCA. So shit’s crazy. But it’s fun. I’m going to keep goin’, keep playing shows, I’ve got to look at college tours soon. I’m just sort of seeing where everything takes me. I want to keep booking shows, for sure, and continue to play with people. I don’t know if and when I’m recording again, but I’ve got a lot of new music that I would love to record, so hopefully that’s in the future. We’ll see where it goes.Tune in, to, y’know, my website! It’s just my name. ianridenhour.com

LISTEN TO IAN RIDENHOUR HERE INTERVIEW + PHOTOS by AUDREY KEELIN

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 2nd June 2019

Top 10

So Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber are still at #1 for a third week after debuting at the spot last month, and there’s another Ed Sheeran single from his upcoming collaborations project coming in the top 10 later on. It’s safe to say Sheeran’s made a comeback but he’s definitely not as massive as he was in the Divide era, it’s not like he’s inescapable now, but he probably has a bigger era coming and this is some pointless side project.

Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” featuring Billy Ray Cyrus is also holding at the runner-up spot.

Also not moving at all since last week is the entire top four. Yup, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is still at number-three.

Stormzy’s “Vossi Bop�� is still at number-four, as well. The top four have all gone to #1 for several weeks, may I add, so I guess that’s cool.

Moving up a single space to number-five is Billie Eilish’s “bad guy”.

She seems to have moved past “Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys still gaining one space to number-six but not enough to overtake her.

Capaldi’s “Hold Me While You Wait” understandably drops off two spaces to number-seven after the album boost fades.

The late Avicii’s “SOS” featuring Aloe Blacc is at standstill at number-eight.

Oh, and we have our highest debut this week and the only one in the top 10, “Cross Me” by Ed Sheeran featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock – yes, I was confused as well – premiering on the charts at number-nine. This is Sheeran’s 23rd (!) Top 10 hit in the UK, Chance’s fourth (All of which have been features) and obviously PNB Rock’s first, but also his first ever charting song in the UK. Ed Sheeran really can make careers I suppose... except this is PNB Rock’s second charting song by technicality, as his vocals in XXXTENTACION’s “changes” were left uncredited.

Finally, “If I Can’t Have You” by Shawn Mendes has re-entered the top 10 after a three space boost to #10.

Climbers

In terms of climbers, there’s not much of note here, in fact, there is one singular song that had any notable gain this week, and that’s “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike up six spaces to #33. Come on, let’s get this into the top 20 at least. It deserves it.

Fallers

We have a lot of these, on the other hand, a pretty large amount for a cooler week. In reverse order, Lil Dicky and Friends’ “Earth” is slowly making its way out of the charts as it goes down nine spaces to #40, “Motorola” by Da Beatfreakz, Dappy, Deno and Swarmz is down six spots to #38 as most of the UK rap songs fade out pretty quickly if they don’t debut high, “Just You and I” by Tom Walker continues its losses down seven spots to #36, “No Diet” by Digga D loses all its buzz down seven positions as well to #32, “Fashion Week” by Steel Banglez, AJ Tracey and MoStack surprisingly sticks in the top 30 as it dips down five spots to #28, while “So Am I” by Ava Max also has continued losses down six to #25, “EARFQUAKE” by Tyler, the Creator featuring Playboi Carti unfortunately collapses down seven positions to #24 off of the debut, and finally, the album boost dies off for “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi down five spots to #14.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

I am not surprised at all when it comes to these drop-outs, as most of them are pretty obviously not going to succeed past their high debuts last week, such as “Nightmare” by Halsey out from #26, “I THINK” by Tyler, the Creator featuring Solange from #30 and “Jealous” by DJ Khaled featuring Chris Brown, Lil Wayne and Big Sean out from #37, or already extended chart runs like “Walk Me Home” by P!nk from #27 after 14 weeks. Songs that never properly bloomed or peaked at the levels of popularity they could have in their prematurely cut chart run, such as “Homicide” by Logic featuring Eminem out from #38 and “Don’t Worry Bout Me” by Zara Larsson out from #40, as well as “Greaze Mode” by Skepta featuring Nafe Smallz from #35, although due to the album this will rebound next week.

“Falling Like the Stars” by James Arthur has returned to #35 for whatever Godforsaken reason, but otherwise, there are no returning entries, so let’s get straight to the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#39 – “Wish You Well” – Sigala and Becky Hill

Produced by Sigala and Jarly – Peaked at #9 in Scotland

I hate the plastic house music that gets on the charts pretty much each and every week. Dance music is art, of course, it is, all music is, but this type of plastic, slick house music made by some producer featuring a singer who’s either a complete no-name or established pop princess, both bringing equally bland performances, has no personality and little artistic merit. I don’t hate pop music inherently, of course, I don’t, I love reviewing it but listening to these songs each week is painful because I know for a fact everyone involved didn’t care and just want it to bang in the clubs, but you know what, that’s not a bad thing. Maybe it infuriates me so much because I love house music and this stuff just reeks of soullessness, or maybe it’s just oversaturation, but nevertheless, this is Sigala’s eighth UK Top 40 hit and The Voice UK contestant Becky Hill’s sixth (fifth as a credited artist), and, well, did you expect it to be any good? Of course not, it has pretty dry keys that back up the reverb-drenched vocals from Becky Hill, who really doesn’t match up with the joyful instrumental as she has a lower tone with a lot more bite, fitting the song’s content pretty well considering it’s a sarcastic good luck and good riddance to an old lover. The house instrumental, however, loses that memo entirely, because Sigala doesn’t care, it’s probably a song written by Hill and her songwriters as a ballad or pop rock jam that got completely ruined by Sigala remixing it into a banger for the clubs and radio fodder. There’s something here, for sure, but Sigala misses the point as he does most of the time. Oh, and the mixing is shoddy in the chorus, but I expected that out of the janky chorus because that’s what Siggy does, I guess. God, this is dull.

#31 – “One Touch” – Jess Glynne and Jax Jones

Produced by Jax Jones and Mark Ralph – Peaked at #8 in Scotland

...There’s ANOTHER one? Okay, well, this one happens to be Jess Glynne’s lead single, as she’s getting top billing whilst Jax Jones is second – I can tell also because of how the single cover isn’t a Jax Jones-branded confectionary. Jones, by the way, is actually one of these house dudes I can kind of understand the hype for, the hooks he writes are infectious and I loved “Breathe” featuring Ina Wroldsen in retrospect. This has debuted pretty low for a Jess Glynne lead single, though, but knowing her ability to have insane longevity in this country’s charts, I know she’ll be fine, especially as this is her 13th UK Top 40 single and Jones’ eighth, but this isn’t great either. I feel like I’ve hear d it before, in 2015, from Jess Glynne’s first album, because this is somewhat dated, I feel, it’s very much of the vein of mid-2010s EDM that was massive back then. Glynne sounds pretty great here, but again her performance directly takes from her older work, and the chorus’ melody and its multi-tracked delivery sounds alarmingly similar to her previous hits “Hold My Hand” and maybe even “My Love”, both songs that I absolutely love. The drop is pretty weak, but it works well enough, once again, however, this is generic and derivative, but what did I expect? If this is Glynne’s lead single, yikes. If it’s Jones’, yeah, I figured.

#29 – “Easier” – 5 Seconds of Summer

Produced by watt, Louis Bell and Charlie Puth? – Peaked at #13 in Belgium and #48 in the US

There are two songs in the UK Top 40 now that sample Nine Inch Nails and make absolutely no sense doing so, but “Old Town Road” is different than this new 5 Seconds of Summer track. First of all, “Old Town Road” is actually good. Second of all, it uses an acoustic guitar sample from one of their darker ambient tracks and interprets it into a country-trap fusion which is innovative, it doesn’t attempt to interpolate any of the industrial rock efforts into a lazy boy band jam the Jonas Brothers wouldn’t accept. While I like “Youngblood” still to this day, this is a very disappointing follow-up and it’s clearly trying for the same vibe, except instead of a pumping bassline to make the chorus feel punchier, you’ve got the flattened Nine Inch Nails sample. I’m pretty sure there’s one second of Summer actually singing here, but the insanely Auto-Tuned vocals would make it hard to distinguish anyway. I actually kind of like the chorus somewhat, since the vocal effects sound pretty interesting at least with the electro-industrial tinges from the Nine Inch Nails sample making it feel quite stiff, which works sonically but doesn’t work with a toxic relationship song, well, does it? He’s stuck in this relationship that he’s struggling with, so surely an intimate, cluttered mess would be fitting, but the only reason he’s stuck is because she’s attractive so the dull trudge of the beat definitely detracts from the content, since he can get out at any point if he gets over his own hormonal urges, so maybe it should have more bounce, more energy, maybe a groove, but it’s not there. This is the band’s tenth UK Top 40 single, and it sucks pretty bad.

#18 – “The London” – Young Thug, J. Cole and Travis Scott

Produced by T-Minus – Peaked at #6 in Canada and #12 in the US

Now, I’ve been waiting to talk about this one, because I love Young Thug, or at least I love the concept of Young Thug – an unorthodox constantly switching flow, a voice hitting frequencies only dogs can hear and nonsensical lyrics about nutting on fishes on sofas crooned off-key with an insane amount of Auto-Tune that only makes it more engaging... over average trap beats. This is a genius formula to me, but often the production doesn’t really help Thugger at all, in fact, I’m let down by a lot of the beats he has especially on earlier mixtapes and the YSL compilation project. He kills most features, can easily develop a narrative in a verse, is a crazy performer with funny lyrics, yet most of his songs don’t slap as much as they could because while Thugger’s got everything, he has to commit to the limitations of the beat and often that slows him down and dampens him. I liked his newest EP, and that got me thinking about his new project and where it was going... then I found out it was called GOLFMOUFDOG (Probably) and that J. Cole was executive producing it. Well, lookie here, we have Cole and Travis Scott, which probably propelled it a lot further to become his highest-charting song as the lead artist in both countries. I like all these artists to some capacity, but once again they all have to fit on the same beat, with entirely different flows, deliveries and approaches. This is going to be a bad idea and a complete trainwreck. This is Thugger’s third UK Top 40 hit, Cole’s seventh (sixth as a credited artist) and Travis’ seventh as well, and it’s surprisingly very refined and kind of restrained. The piano-based beat from T-Minus doesn’t catch up, pretty simply, and it works for Cole but not Thugger, while Travis Scott’s hook (He doesn’t have a verse) is actually pretty great. Cole’s verse is also pretty great, ripping a flow from Thugger and drowning himself in Auto-Tune in order to flub some multi-tracked rhymes with some funny lines like Cole posting pictures on a sonogram. Thugger makes this, though, and I see a lot of people saying he doesn’t fit, and of course, he doesn’t, he’s off-beat as hell, and he’s borderline screeching, where he takes about, paraphrasing here, your broad in a garage eating semen, with oddly emotional delivery. It’s hilarious when he takes a break from ogling at her thighs to say that he “sees the pain in shorty’s light brown eyes”. What? Also, there’s kind of a bridge which is not funny at all but it sounds hilarious, where he has a rapid flow, stops and then lets the beat be so empty for a while, before muttering a slight “Yeah”. He does this twice, and the second one gets me every time. Also, he’s reciting the fire escape procedure because of course he is, before ending his verse with a delightful “GRAH GRAH”. Man, this is the Thugger I want, the Thugger that doesn’t work on the beat at all, and doesn’t constrain himself. I want more screeching. Oh, and Cole, Travis, you’re alright, lads, I especially like their vocal riffing on the intro and outro, but come on, Thugger really steals the show.

#17 – “OT Bop” – NSG

Produced by 4PLAY

Remember these guys from “Options” with Tion Wayne? Yeah, this is their second UK Top 40 hit and I’m surprised it debuted so high but I really liked these guys last time with their melodic, synth-heavy take on faux-grime-dancehall that everyone else can’t make interesting if they tried. I figured NSG would come back with something much less unique and quite a bit generic... they’ve thrown me for a loop, because this is actually kind of weird. Instead of a cloudy synth pattern, we’ve got a really eerie, hypnotic vocal sample and an unconventional beat, with pitch-shifted repetitions of the chorus running through the left and right channels abruptly. There’s some fun ad-libs and sometimes the beat just skips, which is somewhat incompetent and really odd on first-listen, but it grew on me and is actually really fun afterwards. The charisma of each rapper is infectious, especially the dudes from about 30 seconds to 1 minute and 20 seconds, he’s really fun (No, I’m not memorising their names), and you can tell they’re laughing while recording. The signature blunt British delivery makes his first bars really memorable as well.

Meant to go to uni... sold drugs / Got a bag... oh f***

The random string accentuations added are really unnecessary and jarring, but they work and they continue to build up throughout the whole song, while the rappers get quieter the beat just continues to develop and become much more bouncy and exciting, with several buzzing synths that distort in a brief spoken word bridge. Not to mention it’s really catchy, and, yeah, I can see this growing on me.

#9 – “Cross Me” – Ed Sheeran featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock

Produced by Fred Gibson – Peaked at #6 in Australia and #34 in the US

Uh... sure. Let’s get this done quickly because, no, I don’t care about a new Ed Sheeran album and the less I talk about him the less I feel the need to listen to it. This is the second single, and it samples an XXL freestyle from PNB Rock, taking his lyrics about his daughter out of context and re-appropriating it to be a macho posturing 90s R&B jam about how if you want to cross Ed’s girl, you have to cross him. PNB Rock said “She’s my seed”, though, Ed, you sick f—

It’s not like he can’t ride the gliding synths, bouncy beat and plunging 808s but it all seems really not thought out at all, and it really isn’t a PNB Rock sample if you just loop his sample. Chance the Rapper’s verse is... great. He doesn’t work as well as he could on this beat, but his charismatic verse about defending his girl with a blade because she’s the queen, while over-protective, works because everyone involved knows it’s really silly and hyperbolic, and the delivery shows that. The chorus is catchy enough so it’s fine. It sure is fine. I don’t want to hear it ever again.

Conclusion

Uhhhhh nothing here is amazing except “The London” so Young Thug, J. Cole and Travis get Best of the Week for that, while Honourable Mention probably goes to NSG for “OT Bop”. It’s a fun track. Otherwise, well, “Easier” is kind of awful so 5 Seconds of Summer get Dishonourable Mention because Jess Glynne and Jax Jones painfully ripping themselves off in “One Touch” is much more painful to listen to. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!