#its so entertaining to me. DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO THOUGH!!! the option is there if u want it but it is NOT mandatory

[skyburger]

lately ive been going through my google history when im bored (which is so incredibly entertaining btw. highly recommend) and apparently, after double-checking my camera roll that date & finding proof to support this theory, i did indeed first watch hlvrai on november 4th of 2020. absolutely insane. i thought i hadnt seen it until mid-2021 at LEAST.

shoutsout to my friends who i watched it with at the time half of which i dont talk to anymore... i owe u for getting me into funny half-life series. thank you oomf

WARNING !!! below the read more is a long fucking list of funny* things i found in my camera roll from the week i first watched hlvrai. like not the images themselves just me talking about them. i dont know why i thought that was a good idea but alas i already spent 90+ minutes writing that all out and tbf i did have a good laugh looking at that shit. anyway the warning is because its long as fuck and i'm willing to bet not at all interesting to anyone who isn't me. i think if i talk any more i will ramble for fucking ever so ill shut up. WARNING OVER !!! miami make some fucking NOISE. dj tsumugi.

*please note these were funny to both me in late 2020 (age 15) and me now (older but not at all wiser). what im trying to say is read at your own risk because 90% of this is unfunny as fuck but it could be worse. it could be shit from when i was 12. That would be really bad i think

anyway here are some highlights from my camera roll from like the day before, the day of & the day after "the incident" (me watching hlvrai):

a ridiculous amount of terezi pyrope pictures. i had not (and still have not) ever read homestuck

at least 30 pictures of hugh o'conner. probably more if im being honest with myself

the same few pictures of kokichi ouma? for some reason?

like a lot of pictures of nagito komaeda. there is at least one screenshot where my discord pfp is nagito. Something Happened

vriska and nepeta also make an appearance. the former more so but not nearly as much as terezi for some reason

a lot of screenshots of discord convos involving various hughdebeste aus. some favorites are the homestuck au, the peabody & sherman au(???), the meet the robinsons au(??????), splatoon au

blu and red scout tf2 they have taco bell and kfc shirts respectively?

professor sycamore from pokemon and professor sycamore from layton. there are multiple images of each and theyre right next to each other

screenshots of the homestuck wiki. Concerning

a screenshot of an email i got from nintendo about the special edition fortnite switch releasing

like a lot of screenshots of alfendi layton from when i was playing lbmr. not surprising but theres kind of a ridiculous amount

a picture of alvin (the chipmunk) that just says "WE DID IT"

screenshots of me talking in ridiculous 13375P34K on twitter and being accused of kinning from homestuck. quite frankly? i deserved that

hatsune miku makes a few appearances

many tumblr post screenshots. However i did not take these myself i just saved them from reddit. really ashamed to admit i did this for literal years even when i used tumblr at the same time

picture of professor layton standing in that one pose in that one picture i dont know how to describe it. the "you know i had to do it to em" one

that one bugs bunny suit meme and it says "i wish all boobed men a very pleasant evening". this was apparently important enough for me to save twice like an hour and a half apart

many screenshots of me on discord AND twitter posting quotes from hlvrai as i watched it. this includes on my masked disciple roleplay account

a picture of my danganronpa trilogy for ps4 copy. but its one of those live pictures so when i click on it i get attacked (i had the flash on because i took this picture in the dark)

that one really terrible picture of tommy coolatta thats like the first non-fanart picture of him on google images. thrilled to announce i think thats been the only image on his wiki page for years now

picture of hime & mikoto meika's mmd models. i think they had recently released or been announced at this point

catboy apollo justice & wolf boy klavier gavin gacha life gifs. i think my friend made this (if it was in fact my friend and not someone random this was the same friend who streamed hlvrai and thus changed my life forever btw)

that old meme about not passing [xyz] the aux because theyll play [abc]. it says "Do NOT pass the kinnie the aux / They'll just playin 'Alvvays - Archie, Marry Me (Official Video)'"

screenshots of calendar events i set up celebrating the anniversary of two dgs characters' deaths (genklimt fans rise up!)

screenshot of my real kinlist on my real carrd from 2020. i can tell it was just edited because this screenshot has scribbles on it (i circled the latest addition to my kinlist which is in fact "dr. coomer")

screenshots of me and my oomfs on this one specific anime rp roblox game that i WISH i could remember the name of. it let you import pngs of any character you wanted so we had pictures of ace attorney guys hanging out with madoka girls at some point. this specific instance includes klavier gavin, baby trucy wright, rosie from animal crossing & a blue orb thing(??). we are all incredibly small for some reason

john cena suit gangnam style depression. this is saved multiple times. does anyone else remember this post i used to be obsessed with it for some reason

picture of a historical moment in my life (the day i changed my ps4 username to "TheKokichiOuma" which i have regretted for years now. in my defense it did actually use to be worse than that im so serious. 2018 was a dark time why did i pick the name "DabWeebPolics". Horrific!

screenshot of a string of tweets between me and a friend at the time. the tweets arent actually important except for the first one which reads "these gummy bears taste british i cant explain it". this is only important because i remember these fucking gummy bears and they DID taste british in like the same way heathrow airport feels british you know

this one picture of my chemical romance in a forest(?) but bob looks like my fucking dad at a quick glance and it scares me every time i see it. i saved this multiple times over the course of that day

various pictures my friend made of jove justice being set on fire

the really short businessman with the fuckass bob from the lorax but my oomf edited him to look like kazuma asougi

picture of byakuya togami which is only funny because it has text on top of him that says "I. DO. NOT. GEC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

a single screenshot of a tumblr post about the events of That Day (destiel putin election day.) the only other thing referencing this in my gallery is a screenshot of the trending tab on twitter (the trends are, in order. 1. #TrumpMeltdown 2. destiel 3. #ElectionResults2020)

two paper mario character pngs followed by that one misha collins picture. you know the one

various screenshots of a mishapocalypse happening on twitter

more super paper mario pngs

im going through pictures slightly further out from nov 4th now (i think after i look at nov 2nd & nov 6th ill call it quits). first image i see is that "gay people i respect vs. gay people i dont respect" image and i dont know why i saved that nevermind i scrolled and immediately found i made a dgs meme out of that

phoenix wright BASED ON GAY MANGA?

went through the ace attorney mamboleo person's deviantart that day i think so i have various funny works of theirs saved. i think the average person actually would know them as the stamp on the ground animation person so. Thats them too. on a side note watching that video after you got into metal gear is fucking insane

that mom against cat boys tshirt

a lot of unnoteworthy professor layton & ace attorney & dgs images

ben shapiro on the ace attorney witness stand?

oh im finding out i got really fucking mad at william petenshy that day. iirc i got so fucking annoyed at this case i didnt even finish it i just. skipped it. i wasnt even playing it i was just watching it???

one of those "tag yourself / which mutual am i" posts but all the options are characters from my kinlist. one of the titles is a jfk clone high reference

screenshots of dms to klimt van zieks begging him to drop a kinlist

a screenshot of a friends reply to my tweet (hi doop) which did just remind me of my "damon gant is apollo justice's grandpa" theory. this tweet manages to tie yanni yogi into the family tree

screenshot of a discord music bot playing a youtube video (remember when they could do that?). the video is titled "henry ledore does his taxes for 10 minutes asmr"

apparently i looked at characters i share a mbti with that day. highlights include souseki (the dgs guy. no idea about the real one), ron delite, flora reinhold, pyro tf2, agent 8 (splatoon), n harmonia & my goat DERPY HOOVES

screenshot of part of twitter's trending page. it says that trending in the united kingdom, with at least 3,610 tweets, is "Homosexuals"

screenshots of multiple tweets in a row from me. they all involve me frantically talking about how i really want to kin nagito komaeda even though i know fuck-all about him

various pictures of markiplier (both in real life & in fma)

real screenshot of me unironically saying "mental illness innit" in reference to myself. this was in my twitter dms with my friends klimt van zieks roleplay account which is even worse

original gina lestrade & egg benedict image made by me. if you know the apollo gant image its basically that

okay i lied i went back to nov 1st and i think i'll check nov 7th afterwards. one full week of nonsense. this proved to be a good idea because i immediately found a screenshot of a text to my mom asking her if she kinned gnomeo from gnomeo and juliet. she said yes

possible origin of why i own a boss baby poster: oomf kin-assigned me the boss baby

possibly my favorite example of the twitter feature where it shows you the original tweet and then the last two replies on a long thread of replies to that post. the original tweet is me saying in all caps "i care him so much he is so small" about luke triton (what a 2020 sentence!). the last two replies are from me and then my oomf but i think only the first of the two needs recounting. it says "do you really want to explain vore to your teachers". i know i say i want context a lot but i genuinely do really want context for this what the fuck happened here

oh good! boss baby update: theres a screenshot of my ebay purchase of "BOSS BABY Poster A5"

im on pictures from november 7th now. i think i went through a figures bot that day because i have a frankly ridiculous amount of figures (mostly nendoroids. mostly miku nendoroids.) there's also the default hime & mikoto png in the middle of these

twitter notification screenshot. apparently kristoph gavin ace attorney followed me that day

i think i went and looked through a christian memes subreddit or twitter account or SOMETHING i dont know where else these all came from. this is followed by a staggering amount of facebook minion memes

side note: does anyone else remember the aatwt (ace attorney twitter) & puyo puyo twitter crossover event in the michael's customer service chat incident? that feels like a different universe

this one is really nothing compared to any of this other stuff but i do have proof of me saying "pog" unironically

grand finale to this saga is actually from a couple days after (nov 9th 2020) but after seeing the staggering amount of death the kid images i had saved over like two days (i had watched a couple episodes of soul eater with my pals) i felt compelled to dig up my "death the kid get wifi anywhere you go" fancam. i might post it later cause its a classic (only to me)

thank you all so much for watching remember to like and subscribe and whatever. thank you for reading this if you read it for some fucking reason. i spent just over an hour and a half looking through this shit & typing this but it was a nice walk thru memory lane tbh! im gonna shut up now before i start rambling. feel free 2 ask for the images or context to any of these i literally love rambling. peace and love on planet earth. LOVE YOU ALL!!! GOODNIGHT NEW YORK CITY

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life After Snowpiercer: End of the Line

Summery- Matts Alive! Curtis is given a choice, learns the truth about the kids, You are attacked, and also still alive! Some non con implied, but all mild. 

Word Count- 5806

Chapter 4 / Masterlist 

Curtis just shook his head in disbelief at the man before him, certainly grown up from the eleven year old boy he knew, but somethings never change. His eyes, Your eyes looking back at him, but they held a bit of coldness in them that yours didnt. “H-ow? What is going on. They TOOK you Matt.”Although Curtis always assured you to hold out hope Matt was alive, he knew the likelihood was not good, but he could have hope to keep you from feeling hopeless. Then after you had healed, accepted that it was a possibility, you still had the nightmares, crying in the dark for your brother, Curtis waking to your sobs and cradling you in close to protect you... of course he couldnt let you suffer like that. But here Matt was, alive.

“Yea, Wilford saved me Curtis from a life of shit. You all did this to yourselves back there. Always plotting and scheming to take control of what isnt fucken yours.” Matt looked his nose down at Curtis, glancing away at Claude and smiling fondly at her. “She knew that I wasnt like that, did you sweetheart?” He caressed the womans face and leaned down to peck her lips. “Nams still alive out there, can you watch over him and his daughter till were finished in here.” She complied with a soft nod, leaving the three men alone.

Wilford cleared his throat. “Oh trust me Curtis, Matt took a while to understand what the truth was. But he came around, didnt you son?” Smiling almost loving at Matt. “He understands what the train needs from him, and Im an old man now, I wont be here forever. You and Matt working together, well this train is my legacy and will continue on forever. With some help of course.” He moved to open a cupboard and Timmy crawled out, Curtis eyes widening at this next shock. Timmy to was alive! The boy just ignored Curtis though and proceeded to go up the stairs, and enter in a car.

“Timmy? What are you doing, get back here?!” Curtis called to the boy, but he merely buckled himself in and whoosh, he was gone. Curtis turned to look at Wilford and Matt “Where the fuck did he go?!”

“Into the engine of course, it builds up crud, and kids like Timmy, they clear it out, also run some of the gears that need help. Reason we need all those kids from the tail end is although the train is self sustaining, the parts wear out. Many have gone extinct, and we have no way to replace them anymore. We ran out of metal for workers to mold. So we need someone who can fit into tight spaces. Gotta be about 4 or 5, you tail enders are always so scrawny. When they outsize, we replace them.”

Jesus fucking christ... how many kids have they taken over the years? At least over 2 dozen. Oh Curtis.... He could hear your sorrow now, it broke your voice, picture the tears streaming down your face as you mourned for all those babies you all lost in the tale end. Curtis growled out “What happens once they age out?”

Matt rolled his shoulders nonchalant like “Well if someone here wants one, they can just take them as there own, or if no one else can use them in there service, we execute them. Originally we were just gonna bring them back, but hell over crowding has started becoming an issue. You all really need to learn more creative fucking methods. What was the term you used the other day Wilford? ‘Like a bunch of god damn rabbits back there?” He chuckled at his attempt of wit.

What the fuck did they do to you Matt?!

They have no idea, thought Curtis, all the people they broke taking the children. The parents weve found that died because it broke there heart, shattered there will to live. How many women in the tail end lived in FEAR, not at the dangers of child birth, but that they might lose there children and can not stop it. How many times you confessed to him that you just couldnt get pregnant, it was just to dangerous to bring a life into all this, although he knew that you want nothing more then to be a mom one day. They had no idea they caused all that pain.

Curtis, they fully know. They just dont care. Your voice flat, the truth.

Wilford shook his head, chuckling “Now now, we need them more now then ever. As I said before, the front end and tail end work together. We provide them with shelter, food and safety, they provide us with necessary replacement train parts and the occasional entertainment of cleaning up the excess baggage the train carries. Already were running smoother then before thanks to The Great Curtis Revolution.” That fucker is was still trying to make that a thing, Curtis could already see you rolling your eyes.

Matt cheerfully turned back towards Curtis. “And I heard that Y/N will be coming  up to the front, since you two seem to be an item now. I say Curtis you will have more options now then just her if you want. Im sure after all this time your getting bored of her. Although I cant say Im surprised about you two, she always followed you since she met you like a little whimpering puppy. How is she anyways? I haven't thought about her in a while till Wilford brought you up. I suspect shes well.”

Curtis brows came together in anger at the mans words, at everything. That was his sister and he talked about her as if she was just a item Curtis happened to have possession of. “You havent thought about her? Your fucken kidding right? That woman constantly thinks about you, every damn day. Everything she does for others in the tail end is in your memory Matt. Even after all these years she has nightmares about how she couldnt save you, She thinks you will hate her because she cant get to you. And you havent thought about her this whole time?!” Curtis started laughing, shaking his head at all of it. Anger just making him snap at this point. “I cant believe im having this conversation with you of all people Matt. Fuck my life, they brainwashed you man. Everything about this.” Curtis waved his hand around and looked back at Matt, the laughter having died, now it was just cold facts he was raging out. “All this, its maybe more messed up then us starving and eating people, we were just trying to survive. You all think your some kind of gods for supposedly saving us and were a fucking game, you cant see why its so fucked up though, can you?!.”

Matt looked appalled over the outburst and Wilford spoke up “God Curtis your so over dramatic, cant you loosen up? Your acting like the fate of the world rests on you. Trust me, you have no control over that, and sounds like a good thing. I doubt you could handle that pressure. Look at you, so tightly wound.” Wilford made a motion like he had gone stiff, shaking.

Matt snorted in anger at the situation. “You act like you all werent happy for me, that it was my fault I earned my place by Wilfords side.” he basically spat out this next line. “That I should even care about what happened to either of you. That I deserved to be in that same shit hole as you? Wilford you really cant be serious about having Curtis be our Minister. He still lives in the old world view, has yet to embrace new world values. We are FUCKING GODS Curtis, make no mistake. Our word is the law on this train. People like my sister, all this for the people bullshit yall preached back there all the time, have no real place here. You both will get it soon enough.”

This was the final straw, Curtis couldnt, he just couldnt deal with the vile they were spewing, the lives they themselves sacrificed to try to kill him, and it was all a game to them, let alone the friends Curtis dragged into danger to get him here. With a twist, he tackled Wilford first, he had a pistol in his robes, it made sense. His right hand reared back and he caught the man unaware. When Curtis fist impacted, Wilfords head snapped back with a gush of blood exploding from his mouth and nose, those iced blue eyes rolled back and yes, it was that easy to just knock his senses askew.

Matt on the other hand had the upper hand, and he tried locking Curtis arms to his side, but a quick whip with his head backwards cracked against Mats face, and he howled out in anger and pain, releasing his hold against Curtis and cupping his face. “Your Fucker! You son of a bitch, I will kill you!” he screamed out. Clearly Matt forgot anything he learned in the tail end, cause he didnt even prepare for Curtis kick of his heavy treaded boots, hitting squarely in the chest and threw him back into the kitchenette.

Reaching wildly, Matt was able to grasp hold of a butcher knife from a black, slashing it so completely out of sync, that as Curtis ascended on him, he ducked backwards quickly when it wildly arched to him and his hand grabbed Mats wrist, twisting and crushing it in his single hand as he drew in close to the man, his hand grabbing his other hand to keep him from hitting him. “I would like to see you try, I came up here expecting alot more then over privileged cum stains like yourselves. Your finished.” He twisted Matts wrist further till he heard a snap, the knife clashing to the metal floor. Matt howled, not one of those cries out of pain, no this was a howl that almost sounded animalistic, he wrung his hand out of Curtis grasp and cradled it to his chest. Wasting no more time, Curtis ended up bashing his head into the overhead cupboards till he felt him go limp, releasing him to the floor. “Y/N, your brothers a fucking dick...” he muttered to himself.

One last issue to really take care of, Claude, she was out there guarding Yona and Nam. He heard her voice from outside of the gate, and going up behind it, he waited till he could see her yellow arm stretch beyond the gate, gun pointing inwards “Mat? answer me hon” and at that moment, Curtis pushed the door as hard as possible, crushing her into the door frame. She yelped out in pain and Curtis reached around to fist his hand in her hair and drag her into the room, kicking at her hand until it knocked the gun out. “Yona get in here now.” Claude hissed as she twisted and turned to get loose from Curtis and he gave her a vigorous shake to stun her, her hands trying to tug his loose from her scalp. “Your dead buddy, wait till Matt finds out you even touched me with your filthy paws.”

“I dont think hes doing much for a while sweetheart” Curtis promised her when Yona appeared in the room, wrinkling her nose at the scene before her. “We thought they would have killed you Curtis” She said softly while Nam followed along behind, sluggish. His face was pale and the rag he had pressed in his chest was soaked, still dripping big heavy drops of blood, gravity making a steady drip drip drip echo softly in this metal dungeon. “Not yet, they had other ideas apparently. Yona, can you sense where Timmy is? He went into the engine and we got to pull him out.” She had displayed hints of Clairvoyance throughout there journey, and she nodded, turning away to start searching. Claude chose this moment to start up again, smacking Curtis right in his gut and groin causing him to cuss out and tighten his grip in her hair to keep from releasing her.

“Fucken bitch” he hissed and having had enough of her, he knocked her upside the head, her screaming the whole time till she to went silent as her partners, she to was simply dropped to the floor with a thump. Still trying to catch his air once again, the ache going dull easy to ignore. Dont underestimate them Curtis a familiar whispered voice came to him, taking quick glances at the other two. He went to check Wilford, collecting his pistol still in his robe, and hobbled over to where Claude lost hers near the door. Handing one off to Nam, he spoke softly to him, to keep Yona from breaking concentration. “Are you okay?”

“Yea im fine.” The man grunted in his language, loosely translated by the box hanging off his neck. Just then he coughed and spat a wad of blood. It was clear he wasnt fine, just from the way he was wheezing, Curtis guessed at this point his lungs were filling with fluid. He had heard it before with others in the tail end. No one here was trained to drain it either, sure now that anyone who could was probably dead. He gave Nam a knowing look and the man cast a downwards glance. “Dont tell Yona, not yet.”

It was then Yona sprawled to the floor, clawing to pry up a tile “Curtis, hes here! Hes right under the tile.” her fingers scrambled against the smooth tile, and Curtis grabbed the abandoned butcher knife, wedging the tip into a crack, pushing till it popped open. What they opened was unlike anything Curtis had seen before. The small boy was squatting among the gears, digging his hands into chunks of oily gunk and digging it out, flinching every now and then when a piece of metal gear would cut shallowly into him, his arms were covered in bloody shallow knicks. Robotic like motions, he plunged his hand into the gunk and scooped out a handful. “Timmy! Timmy look up!” The little boy looked up, but it wasnt like he was seeing Curtis, more like through him. Curtis whats wrong with him? “Timmy you gotta get out of there, can you go back out?” I dont know Baby, I dont know what they done to him.

The boy just ignored him, his sightless gaze going back to the task at hand, and it was then Wilford made his presence known with a heavy groan, pushing himself up to a sit, swiping at his face. “Maybe I made a mistake with you Curtis... “ His gaze bleary as he sought out Curtis and Yona kneeling over the hole. “You just dont get what were doing here, cant see the bigger picture.” He moved to get up and Nam came between them, wheezing worst then before but ready to defend them. They were running out of time and Curtis knew it. A glance at his hand was the resolve he needed. I mean, it was the sacrifice he originally was going to make in a sense anyways. And into the gears his arm shot, stopping everything in its tracks, almost immediantly the gears all locked up, the train shuddered and wobbled unsteady.

Nam was blocking Wilford from ascending, but was struggling, surprise the gun had no fucking bullets in it, Yona reached in the gaps and stretched to reach for Timmy, who still seemed oblivious to what was going on above them. “Please Timmy, take my hand.” She turned her head to the side and stretched further, facing Matt whom now was starting to groan as well, Yona started to panic “Curtis, fuck hes waking up!” Panting through the pain of his arm getting crushed in the gears, he glanced to see Matt roll to his back, covering his face with a series of curses. Curtis, get my baby out of there, please! This time it was Tonyas voice yelling at him to save her child. Pushing Yona back with his free hand, he shot it into the one slot Timmy might fit through and grasped the boys skinny arm, hauling him up and pushing him to Yona who wrapped him up in her arms and started to pull back.

Matts foot connected squarely with Cutis jaw, wrenching his arm out of the gears, half skinning it in the process, his whole body flinging backwards. The enraged man landed on Curtis, trying to choke him out with his single hand, his broke wrist still cradling against his chest. Even with both short the use of an arm, Curtis was able to overpower him, pushing him to sprawl backwards. In there scuffle, the gun Curtis had tucked away in his jacket fell out and in both of there lunge to retrieve it, they scuffled it across the floor to land in the open hole. Matts eyes widened a bit “Oh shit!” It took a second for Curtis to understand what the issue was, yes that gun was loaded and it was currently twisting into the gears, making the entire train shudder, then a ping ping ping!

The pressure had set off the bullets in the weapon, and all around them steam shot out of the pipes. Everyone stopped what they were doing, looking around with fear at the reaction, and there was another mighty shudder. “Its gonna go off the tracks, good job fuckers!” Wilford hissed out in a panicked rage. Another shudder and the nose of the train must have hit something, an ice block on the tracks Baby your voice sounding scared in his confused mind, cause it jerked upwards, loosing traction on the track, without the wheels working in tandem to keep the forward momentum. It scrambled everyone, slamming them to the left side, Curtis skidded on his backside, crashing into Matt, who slammed into the kitchenette cabinets. The kids they went flying backwards towards the half opened gate, falling into the car just behind, Wilford and Nam entangled together smashed into the bolted down kitchen table. Claude, she screamed in fear at just waking up to everyone being whipped around spinning backwards across the floor. The engine started to tip to its side. The side of the Engine suddenly was ripped away with a screech of metal and sparks, having hit cliff side rocks. Wilford and Nam got sucked out of the giant hole, and thats when Curtis went black, something falling and smashing him in the skull.

During this time, in the tail end, James was dragging you back down the aisle, your body bouncing against random bunks and junk scattered around from where they had torn everything apart. Finally he tossed you to sprawl on the ground and fell on your stomach, bouncing enough to knock the air out of you. “I thought we already talked about this hunny, just be a good girl and spread them. Not that I dont like it when you all fight a bit.” Thinking he had subdued you, he pulled back to hike up your coat and shirts to what he claimed as his prize. .

Taking a chance you twist and shoot a foot out to hit him in his chest to topple backwards and start to crawl away, but a large hand encircled your ankle and jerk you to fall on your belly with a omph! Panicked, your hands shoot out under a bunk to see if theres anything to hold onto. Your hand closes around a small shard, fitting in the palm. You snatch it as he keeps dragging you back, flipping you to your back with a smirk.

Calm down Y/N, wait for the right opportunity. Of course it was Curtis calm voice, the one he used when he was bringing you back from a panic attack. You take a deep breath, and change tactics on James, stopping trying to fight, you hold up a hand in surrender. “Please, I give! What do you want?” James hand fisted in your mess of hair, tipping your head back till your throat was exposed. Dragging his tongue over you, you fight back a wave of bile burning your throat at the feeling of the man all over you. “well what do you think sweetheart, I want your sweet pussy gripping the best dick you ever had and begging for more.” God how the fuck do you not gag at that. Concentrate Baby. Praise how good he is. you shudder in the mans grip as he starts to palm a bruised breast, twisting it painfully like before. Do I really have to Curtis?

Trust me Babygirl

“You made me feel so damn good last time, and I was so ungrateful.” trying to make your voice husky with false lust and looking up at him wide eyed. Reaching up you cup James face and bite your lip, giving it your all. “But how about this time you let me make you feel good? A thank you.” Leaning up your brush your lips against his, really putting your all into drawing him into the kiss. Fucker fell for it, and he got caught up in what you were doing with your tongue, where your hands were running all over him, palming his crotch through his pants. “Biggest ive ever had” Cant believe Im saying this. God I hate you bastards. You were fighting everything in you to not start crying in disgust. Finally when he was panting against your lips, you push him hard enough to make him roll, his hands grasping your hips to have you follow, and now.... now you fucking dick head, I have you right where I want you, you think triumphant when you straddle his stomach.

That you do baby, you know what to do next. Curtis hissed in your mind. Dont hesitate, hard and quick.

Arching up, you smile so sweetly at James looking up at you hazily. “God I knew you were a good fuck, but this is even better then I thought it could be.Tell me im the best, better then whatever his name was.” Tracing his chest, and winking at him to respond. “Oh baby, Curtis was nothing like you.” And with a quick twist of your wrist, you shove that shard of metal in his eye, pressing down hard and quick with your palm as you could. You literally felt it pop, and the warmth of blood shoot against your palm. “Hes every fucking thing a man should be!” Smashing your hand against the next vulnerable part of him, his nose, he bucks in pain underneath you, shooting you off. Tumbling, you scramble up and start running towards the back as James is screeching, dodging the unsuspecting hands of other guards reaching out of the bunks they were laying in, some of them following James choices and there captives started to fight back in the confusion you caused. “GET THAT WHORE!” James screeching, his hand covering his eye as he struggled up, red gore oozing between his fingers.

You were looking for anyplace to hide when thrown off your feet violently.

It wasnt another person, the train started rattling on its tracks and screeching, fishtailing back and forth. One violent turn and you were flung into the bars of a bunk, screaming out as pain blossomed white hot through your spine, tumbling now. Bottom was above you, crashing onto what should have been the roof of the train, items pelting you, bouncing off and crushing you. Your cries of shock and pain turning ragged when it all rolled once more, going right side up, the kids and other survivors going through a similar experience, whipping around and around as it kept rolling and bouncing. The back end of the train had gone off the side of a cliff and falling into a valley under the tracks. everyone whipped around and around, till it crashed to a stand still.

Groaning you push up under a bunch of random debris, and try to focus. Leaning over and puking from the dizziness, you push away from the mess and look around at other passengers and guards pushing themselves out of the mess, somewhere bright light was streaming in. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, you have to figure out how to get one of there guns before they take control again. Pushing up, you stumble around people, some of them eerily still, twisted bodies and blank stares. Not all survived. Relief flooded you as you saw more and more kids scrambling to your side. “Quick, find anything we can use as a weapon.” urging them with a hushed voice, they scattered to fulfill your request. Coming across a dead guard, your quick to strip him off anything valuables. Shouldering a rifle over your shoulder, more children and some of the women came back, fight in the adults eyes, most of the kids holding something they could use.

“Hey, Yall get yer asses back here!” some fucker drawled heavy accented, and a look over your shoulder saw that they had rejoined ranks. “Quick, get out that hole!” You urge your group, scrambling back the opposite way where the light was, bullets whizzed at you, ducking just in time, it clipped a woman next to you, fuck it was the woman who helped you before, Sara. Sara cried out grabbing her shoulder. Grabbing her waist, you tug her to follow along and aim the automatic rifle in your hand, just randomly shooting behind you as she climbed up to fall out of the hole with a yelp. No one followed you as you to scrambled out, maybe for once luck was on your side, there seemed to be alot less of them then there was of you survivors.

Crashing rather ungracefully over the edge of the train car, you land in the snow, and blinded you try looking around, drawing in for the first time in 18 years, fresh air. It burned your lungs,the intense cold and just that it was so god damn clean. Looking around your surrounded by cliffs, and as your eyes go into focus you can see where you all went over the edge, snow still rolling down, and scattered around you was a few more cars, above one hung precariously over the edge. Fuck, how did you all survive that? “Y/N, what do we do?” What do you do? What would Curtis do? You all had never discussed being on the outside. “We have to get away from here, they will be coming out any second after us.” Everyone shivered around you, wrapping arms around themselves. The entire group surrounding you wouldnt make it for long without shelter and heat.  

“Curtis” You voice was soft, he missed that.

“Hey baby” He looked over his shoulder and smiled.

“Curtis” You looked lost to him, confused.

“Im right here Babes” He held out an hand to reach for you.

“CURTIS” Why wouldnt you take his hand?

”Babygirl, whats wrong?” Striding over to reach for You, his brows coming together in confusion.

“CURTIS!” Fear and Panic etched all over you

He sat straight up with a gasp, Yona falling back from where she had been leaning over him, her face a look of fear and shock, tears tracking down her face. “What the fuck happened?!” Curtis cussed as he wildly looked around, Timmy was rocking on his heels next to Curtis, and he reached over to touch the boy, make sure he was real. “Yona... wheres Nam?” The girl shook her head, and straightened from where he knocked her over.

“Wilford and Dad are not here. That guy and girl are, over there.” She pointed among the mess. “But they wont wake up, I checked.” Curtis moved to get up, wincing. There was something broken, just ribs hopefully. He wouldnt be taking deep breaths anytime soon. And then his gaze went to his mangled hand, Okay this is more serious. Wincing as he pulled his sleeve over it to protect it, it had at least clotted enough to stop bleeding but had no idea what the real damage was yet on it. Timmy just stayed rocking nearby, Curtis debating what to do, the boy had obviously been traumatized by what had happened. But at this point, there was more pressing matters. “Yona, grab that butcher knife” Somehow they still had it.

Going to a panel, Curtis inspected it and with the knife, they managed to pry it off, and tossing the panel to the side. Ahhh, bingo, Curtis tested the wires and finding them not live wires, he started to pull and yank them out. “Cut these, a good three feet at least” He stretched it out, and Yona started slicing back and forth. Right now his first worry was Matt and Claude coming around before they could be tied up. He probably should just kill them after everything, but Curtis was just done with death. At least for now, and if You ever found out he had killed your brother, He simply couldnt. Claude, well we will see what ends up happening with that bitch. You snigger. Curtis had to hide a bit of a laugh, apparently his imagination made you a bit dark.

Yona, well he would be royally screwed without the girl, she was nimble and quick with her knots, the two of them dragging the still unconscious duo to a wall, tying them tight and far apart so they couldnt help one another, Curtis finally sighed in relief. At least for now he didnt have to worry about them at the moment. Yona again came to the rescue,having found coats in the other car, wrapping her and Timmy up.

“Theres a way out in the other car Curtis, a few are outside, just... standing around. I think they are high still.” Her own eyes bleary, it occurred to Curtis she to was coming down from the kronoles and alcohol she consumed on the trudge to the front. His voice soft “Are you okay yourself?” She twitched a bit and nodded. “Just after effects, nothing I havent felt before.” Curtis didnt like it, but he had to trust her, completely out of options. Yona took Timmys hand and together the three of them worked there way out of the Engine, and the next car, well it wasnt much better off then theres was, completely flipped over, several dead. Curtis was still questioning how they even made it out. What about the tail end? You? The anxiety of not knowing.... A deep breath was drawn in, and made him instantly regret that, fuck my ribs.

Popping his head out, rubbing at his face, he took it in. Oh God your voice echoes, and before him, stretched across the blinding whiteness of where you all ended up, was just destruction, chaos, and more death. Twisted metal cars, split open to spill out its contents to scatter across the snow, it seemed like the end wasnt to bad off the further he looked down the line, but shouldnt there be more?

Wheres the rest of the train Curtis?

Were going to go find out Y/N, Im not leaving you out there alone.

Nearby there was a small group of people, most of them were hiding in heavy fur coats, and watching them for a moment, Curtis pegged Yona to be right. These fuckers are high as a god damn kite. There were a few though, that looked more put together, and Curtis recognized one of them, his eyes narrowing. Right now he didnt have any of the typical gear on, but it was one of the men who would bring there protein bars. Wonder how many you I got to deal with? Curtis sighed, fuck he was so tired suddenly. “TImmy climb on my back” He ordered and squatted enough for the boy to wrap his arms around his neck. Going to the edge, he deemed it safe enough and jumped down, stifling a groan at the jolt in his ribs. His hand, god that was just a steady throb.

Yona inched to the edge, her feet coming over the edge, and she slid off as much as possible till she landed on Curtis shoulder, his arm wrapping around her thighs to keep her from tipping over and easing down for her to get off. As he straightened the men whom he dared guessed were some of the guards came over, they were scuffed, but not bad off as Curtis nearly was, and he braced himself for the typical aggression he knew from them, but they all held up there hands in a peace sign.

“Seriously man, were not going to do anything.” Curtis took a step back from them anyways, keeping the kids behind him. Yona peaked around him warily, studying them.

“Curtis right? weve heard of you. Listen, we have to look for survivors, this group over here is kind of useless right now, and these cars might have people trapped.” One started, another picked up.

“Front, Back.... it makes no difference now, Theres probably not enough left to make it count.”

“Right... suddenly im supposed to believe you all have a good conscious?” Curtis sure as hell wasnt going to trust them, 18 years of entrapment will do that to a man. Yona tugged on his jacket, and he spared her a look.

“Good, they will help us.” He nodded encouragment, and his gut twisted. The girl hadnt been wrong yet, but his mistrust and instinct was still was over riding that. He trusted another, and betrayed everything he believed in.

Curtis she hasnt been wrong yet, shes special.

Alright Alright, he thought, holding out his uninjured hand, he growled out. “truce for now... we wont give you any trouble. Were making our way towards the back to check on our people.” One of the guards winced.

“The back? We were coming over a bridge when the train derailled. Honestly the fact any of this is still here is shocking. Im sure the back end came off the rest of the train and went over the cliff side. A fall like that in a hunk of metal.” The man shrugged in a im sorry motion “The chances are not great anyone in those cars would survive such a fall. The tail end, its gone. Any survivors will be making there way up this way.” He looked over his shoulder and sure enough, people were slowly coming in groups. “Slim, the chances are slim, but... maybe...”

Slim, the chances were slim, but... maybe... it was all Curtis heard after he said those words. 

@what-is-your-plan-today​ @curtisbbq​ @jtargaryen18​ @p8tn0lish​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and dating Veronica Sawyer

(Not my gif)(requested by anonymous)

- You meet Veronica in the lunch room as she’s walking around with Heather. You’re sat at a table with your friends when the two girls come up to your table and ask you the daily poll.

- When she sees you for the first time she just can’t seem to take her eyes off of you. At first she thinks perhaps it’s because she hasn’t seen you around school before or just out of admiration for your style/features. But then you complimented her outfit and she internally lost her shit for a good minute, it was then she realized that this was not in fact a normal reaction and something was going on with her.

- Soon enough she realizes what exactly is going on and it ...slightly troubles her. Where she’s from being gay isn’t exactly normal nor really accepted.

- As much as she doesn’t particularly like/trust the Heathers she also has no one else to talk to, so with reluctance she tells them about her feelings for you. Heather C basically just says “Well you didn’t pick the worst chick to want to date. She’s not a total mutant like some of these people…could use some more blush though.”

- It’s easy to forget that the Heathers and Veronica were actually friends no matter how catty they could be with one another. They still sort of want the best for each other so when Veronica confides in them they attempt to give her any advice they can. They do do her a favor (without her knowing) and invite you to ‘Become a Heather’ which you slightly agree to meaning you and Veronica get close.

- She doesn’t really know what to do about her feelings, she wants to act on them but that doesn’t feel like an option considering where she’s from. She writes a lot of diary entries about you and her feelings just to get everything out.

- You both do that whole ‘you stare at the person and when the person looks at you, you look away then that person stares at you until you look at them’ thing.

- Her heart races every time you compliment her and vice versa (but she doesn’t know that just yet).

- She begins to write you secret admirer notes. You have no idea it’s her because she disguises her handwriting every time she writes them. It kind of makes her smile when she gets to hear all about how cute you find the little letters and seeing all the Heathers giggle along as you read them.

- You only find out its her when you catch her slipping one into your locker but at the time you assume it’s just an invitation to a party or some notes you might have missed from class. It’s only when schools over that you get to read what she dropped in and it’s another lovey dovey note.

- You call her after school to hangout and when she comes to your house you act as though everything’s normal until you hand her the note. She tenses up and freezes in her place as you wait for a response. As quickly as she can she tries to apologize and explain herself before you stop her, telling her it’s alright.

“It is?”

“It is.”

“...You’re not mad?”

“No, in fact I’m quite happy.”

“...really?”

“Yes really, I’m just waiting.”

“For what?”

“For you to ask me out.” She looks at you completely shocked before a smile spreads across her face and she asks you out.

- The two of you go to a bookstore where you both split apart and find a book you think the other will enjoy. After you meet up again you go back to her place and read together while listening to some soft music.

- Your first kiss is that day as your date ends. She stops you as you’re about to open the door to her room and puts a hand on your cheek, leaning in and kissing you. The two of you break apart smiling and you leave her house happy and excited with your new relationship.

- A lot of kissing and cuddling.

- She’s open to sex pretty early on so it depends if you want to or not, she doesn’t want you to feel pressured to do it. 

- She’s a self admitted mini genius so she’s happy to help you study and plan your calendar.

- She definitely forges notes/passes so that she can get you out of class with her. You just have to hint at needing a signature or something and she’ll do it for you.

- Horror movies are her ally. She loves having you grab her hand whenever you get a good scare.

- She’s probably a little insecure after having been friends with Heather Chandler for so long and being the talk of the school for better and for worse. 

- She tells you you’re beautiful all the time and gives you this adorable little smile when you tell her the same. 

- She sort of prefers to stay out of the spotlight especially when you’re together just in case people start to get suspicious. She’ll grab a lunch table in the far corner of the cafeteria or the two of you will eat somewhere else together.

- The Heathers usually butt their way into your lunch dates or dates in general. They’ll just show up and sit with you all while starting a conversation about something that’s just happened to them.

- The Heathers choose to ignore your relationship, it’s not that they don’t like it just that they think it’s best to be willfully ignorant. They’re still getting used to the fact that they know not one but two gay/bi/etc girls.

- She’s a raging pessimist most of the time but you brighten up her outlook on life. 

- You guys play croquet a lot. She’s happy to teach you if you dont know how to play.

- Her room is really cosy so you guys hangout in there a lot. It’s also a bonus that her parents are completely clueless as to what you two actually are. They just think you’re really good friends like her and the Heathers.

- She writes you little poems every now and again.

- Makes up overdramatic plays to entertain you starring a very overdone preformance by her.

- She wants to protect you all the time, she knows just how mean people can be.

- She usually has an arm around your shoulder or looped with your own during the school day. It’s a normal thing for ‘ friends’ especially the Heathers to be affectionate with each other so no one questions it.

- Pâté with her parents.

- You have dinner at her house at least once a week, afterwards you, her and her parents sit and watch tv together.

- She definitely has some deep rooted issues that she doesn’t talk about (in the movie you’ll see that now and again she tries to hurt herself). You try to help her anyway you can but ultimately wait until she’s ready to come to you about what wrong with her.

- Being there when she needs someone to rant to especially about Heather C.

- She can always tell when something’s wrong and makes sure to be there for you when you need it.

- Having to bite your tongue whenever someone flirts with one of you or the both of you at the same time.

- She strokes your hair absentmindedly whenever you’re sitting and watching tv together.

- Fights are usually screaming matches but they’re resolved pretty easily and quickly so it’s never really that bad.

- Doing stupid shit together.

“What if we like coughed up a phlegm glob or something?”

- Photobooth pictures of the two of you

- She loves your praise especially when it’s about something other than her looks. She’s used to people thinking she’s pretty so it’s a nice change when you compliment something about her that she’s actually proud of.

“Tell me how good this is”

“It’s great”

- Cue a cute little smile.

- Knowing each other’s locker combos and borrowing each other’s stuff.

- You probably join the yearbook committee with her and the two of you help each other with your work.

- Morbid jokes.

- Getting your designated color for when you’re with the Heathers. They subtly make sure it looks good with Veronicas blue, that’s how you know they support the two of you together.

- Taking care of her whenever she gets drunk/sick at parties. You’ve had to hold her hair as she pukes more than a few times.

- Quick comebacks that never fail to make you laugh.

- Taking naps together after school.

- Gossiping and making fun of people together for shits and giggles.

- Convincing her to hang out with Betty Finn more, she’s an absolute sweetheart to the two of you.

- Helping her accessorize since she apparently can’t do it for shit.

- She’ll say “love you” over the phone but she has a little trouble saying it in person. It makes her a little embarrassed and she ends up getting tongue tied before she can get it out.

- You offhandedly talk about the future, like she’ll make a comment like ‘we should do this next year’ or ‘god I could marry you’ or ‘next year I’m going to take you to do this’ and the ever so common ‘after highschool I’m blowing this town and taking you with me’.

[fuckedurbias]

enemies to lovers (but not really) - yoo kihyun

genre: angst + smutty af

requested? nope

word count: 7.7k !!!

warnings: cursing, alcohol mentions, the smut is dirty af i can’t put it all in a warning oop

A/N: i made kihyun basically a bully and a giant asshole but ik he’s a soft baby and a lovely boy but i just have a lot of pent up feelings towards him, i can’t admit my feelings for him so i just use hatred as an excuse okay its a personal problem. pls dont hate me!!

You couldn’t get rid of him no matter how hard you tried. It was hard enough that he was involved in your close friend group and you had to see his face often, but he also genuinely enjoyed seeing you get so heated over the mere sight of him.

“For once, for once can he be working when we hang out or I don’t know… maybe just not be invited?” You groan, angrily looking out the window of Changkyun’s car with your arms firmly crossed.

“Look we can’t just not invite him, he’s still our friend. It’s not our fault neither of you can stand each other, you’re lucky either of you get invited to these things do you really think any of us want to deal with the never ending bickering from you two?” Changkyun shook his head, dreading the thought of all the arguing he’s going to have to deal with tonight.

“He starts it! You really expect me to just take his little digs at me?” You huff.

“He only does it because he knows for sure you will fight back; I’ve told you this how many times? Hell, he’s told you that himself yet you still give him the reaction he wants, if you just ignored him he’d stop” “I really doubt that” You mumble, staring at the road ahead. Changkyun never beats around the bush with you, but that is why he was your best friend, both as feisty and fiery as each other. It is probably a bad dynamic since you both just feed off each others intense vibes and don’t hold back with others who aren’t either of you, who often can’t handle such honesty and bluntness. Most times you love Kyun being honest with you, but times like this; when talking about the person who makes your blood boil more than anyone else, you really hated it. Maybe tonight you will take Kyun’s advice and ignore Kihyun, just to prove him wrong when Kihyun continues to terrorise you and he can finally get all the blame he deserves.

As soon as you got out of the car you could see your group of boys through the big window at the front of the restaurant, sitting on the table right next to the window as per usual. Thank god they were all talking and too preoccupied in looking at the menus arguing over what they were going to order to notice you and Kyun walking in. There is seriously only 1 whole brain cell in this goddamn group and it belongs to you. Without you they wouldn’t get anywhere. You hide behind Kyun as you enter, both so Kihyun won’t see you and pester you before you even get to the table and so you can see where he is sitting before you reach the table and plan how you will avoid him as much as you can. You and Kyun reach the table and stand there silent for at least 30 seconds before any of them notice you, they were really going at it between themselves. Sitting on the wall side was Minhyuk, Kihyun, Jooheon & Hyungwon. Facing the rest of the restaurant and their backs to you and Kyun right now was Shownu and Wonho, sitting on the side closest to the window with the two free seats for you and Kyun next to them at the end of the table. Finally, Hyungwon turns around from watching the other three boys argue next to him to see you and Kyun standing there, staring at them with the biggest look of disapproval on your faces. He smiles and nods, nobody else noticing you. Minhyuk, Kihyun & Jooheon were all arguing over what food they wanted to get and Shownu was asking them, practically begging them all to just settle on either one meal or one meat option each for the barbecue otherwise it would end up being too much money and not all of it would be eaten anyways. Wonho was just disassociating on his phone. Kyun clears his throat, still no response, so he just sighs and pulls out the seat next to Shownu, leaving you to sit on the end of the table across from Hyungwon. He knew you would appreciate that, wanting to be as far away from Kihyun as possible, but two people down from you on the other side was still too close. The other 3 boys on the other side all look up when they hear the chairs being pulled out, nod at you both and go back to their food issues.

“Look, you three need to shut up for a moment and we need to ask these two what they would like now. So you three need to settle your issues ASAP otherwise this will just end up like last time” Shownu demands, tone very clearly desperate. “I’m okay with anything, I just want food” you say, which earns a smirk and a loud nose exhale from Kihyun, whatever that was meant to mean you had no idea and you didn’t really care to know. You didn’t even look his way, focusing on the menu Shownu handed to Kyun.

“Same for me, as long as you get some kind of beef for the barbecue I don’t care. Also as long as you three stop arguing so I can eat quicker” Kyun says, handing the menu back to Shownu. The other three pout and huff, settling on a meal and a barbecue option amongst each other. You’re rather shocked Kihyun hasn’t made a single dig at you yet, this is a new record for him, but you put it down to him being more concerned about his empty stomach for the time being. Hopefully when the food arrives he’s too busy scoffing food down his throat to be bothering you.

As per usual, Wonho ended up being the barbecue dad as he put the first load of meat onto the barbecue the sound of the satisfying sizzle filling your ears and everyone was happily digging into the dishes. The last dish arrives and you gasp in excitement and try to quickly finish your current food so you can grab some of the new one before all the boys finish it first with their bottomless stomachs. “Woah, relax and stop acting like a pig. The food won’t go anywhere” Kihyun laughs, widening his eyes at you in a mocking way.

“Kihyun what the fuck? Mind your own business and back off, dude” Kyun snaps.

‘Ah, here we go’ you think to yourself. You feel that pang in your stomach, wanting so badly to snap back at him instantly but you remember the car ride and decide to stay quiet. For some reason what he said this time actually hurts you. Why? You’re not sure, you hate it, you feel weak. You feel like running to the bathroom to hide the hurt that you’re pretty sure is showing clearly on your face, especially since you usually snap back instantly. You ignore Kihyun, don’t even glance at him and just continue to grab yourself a nice amount of the new dish and place it into your little bowl, trying your best to eat it without looking too upset. A few seconds later, Wonho finishes cooking the beef and takes everyone’s bowls and gives them a fair amount of it before putting the next load of meat on.

“Are you okay?” Hyungwon asks you quietly, leaning across the table. “Yeah I’m fine, just really tired from all my classes today” You give him a soft smile and a nod, appreciative that he actually checked up you even though you hate that it’s clear you are upset.

“Ah okay, I was worried that you we- “

“How has everyone’s week been?” Minhyuk yells from his end of the table, largely exaggerating the loudness of the restaurant chatter and music.

“We’re all University students, how interesting could any of our weeks have been?” Jooheon replies, beef stuffed in his mouth. “Well I’m sorry I’m just trying to make fucking conversation since none of you have made an attempt to” Minhyuk snaps, gesturing his hands out to everyone around the table and then clasping them together.

“Jooheon are you trying to imply that you actually go to class and spend your time outside of class actually studying?” Wonho says, not even glancing up as he turns over all the meat. Everyone on the table cracks up laughing.

“Hey! I was not implying anything, even if when I don’t go to classes; which I do most of the time by the way, I just stay home which still isn’t interesting… and I do study!” Jooheon leans back against the wall, arms firmly crossed with a grumpy pout on his face.

“It’s okay Joo, I think staying home and watching Netflix… or studying and going to class like you apparently do, is a lot more interesting and entertaining than being one of those students that goes out all the time and constantly gets drunk, high and is basically brain-dead 24/7” You say, stuffing the meat in your mouth into your cheeks.

“You can’t really say that when you’ve never been to even ONE party since you’ve started at University, you wouldn’t have any idea of how it’s ‘not fun’ or what fun even is. You just go to class every day and study and then stay cooped up in your dorm every weekend like a complete loser,” Kihyun doesn’t even breathe once, “oh and please, don’t talk with your mouth full”. Minhyuk whacks the back of Kihyun’s head, looking at you with sorrow. You felt your blood pressure rising, wishing so badly you could split his chopsticks in half and shove them up his ass. However, you just sat there looking down at your now empty bowl trying to hide how red your face now was and your throat closing up, feeling like you were going to cry out of frustration. If he made one more mean comment you were certain you were going to snap, and by that you mean snapping those chopsticks in half and sticking them where the sun doesn’t shine; which is absolutely nowhere near Kihyun.

You guys had finished all the food and were now having a nice catch up, telling each other the funny happenings that had occurred within the last month and a bit that you hadn’t met up properly as a whole group. The conversation though, had drifted to Changkyun, Wonho & Minhyuk ganging up on Jooheon and telling you all stories about the embarrassing things Joo did in high school.

“I cannot believe you did that!! When you were Vice Captain?! In front of the entire school board?!” You screamed.

“Don’t forget that it was a whole school assembly, too! He really just whipped out a little impromptu ‘hip hop dance routine’ in front of the whole school and the school board, you should’ve seen the look of pure horror on the Vice Principal’s face. He got in so much trouble for that and almost got his position taken away” Minhyuk said with a shit-eating grin.

“You’re the one that promised me if I did that you’d pay for my lunch everyday for the rest of the semester, it’s your fault!” Joo whines.

“And I did didn’t I? So why are you complaining?” Minhyuk sasses. “BECAUSE YOU’RE SITTING HERE TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT AN EMBARRASSING THING I DID BUT IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ME DO IT MAKING ME LOOK LIKE I DID IT OUT OF MY OWN ACCORD!”

“Because it’s a funny story, and I didn’t force you to, you had the choice to say no”

“NO YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHOICE STOP LY- “

“Okay enough you two children” Shownu interjects. If he didn’t stop them now this would continue for way too long, they’re worse than you and Kihyun.

“Oh my gosh wait, Wonho! What about that time you told Minhyuk you’d give him $50 if he licked the swing-set” Changkyun gasps with the sudden memory.

“Wow, yes! The chain handle part”, Wonho laughs “and he actually did it and ended up in the nurse’s office because he instantly got really sick and had to stay home for the rest of week!”. Everyone bursts into laughter.

“Hey I don’t regret a thing, that $50 was worth it. I bought some sick gym shoes with that money” Minhyuk smiles. You were in tears with laughter.

“Man I wish I knew you guys in high school, you seem like you were even funnier and dumber back then” You cry.

“Hey, me and Kyun weren’t and aren’t dumb it was and is just those two” Wonho acts offended. You really do wish you knew them back then; it would’ve definitely made your dull high school life a lot brighter. You’re grateful you know them now of course, they make your stressful, overwhelming University life a lot more bearable. You and Kyun were both Literature students, Minhyuk, Hyungwon & Shownu all Dance & Performance students and then Joo & Wonho were Music Production students, where they met Kihyun as he is a Music Performance student and they work together a lot. The boys that already knew each other from school brought along their friends that they met in class who didn’t have friends to hang out with yet, and then you all became a close nit group and all friends with each other separately… well, except for two of you.

“I don’t know Wonho, I’d say you’re also pretty dumb” You say slowly with a sneaky grin, “are we not going to address that very dumb, embarrassing thing you accidentally did in class no less than what, two weeks ago?”. He looks at you confused.

“Remember, Jooheon messaged the group chat instantly screaming out of secondhand embarrassment?” You push.

“Oh- OH GOD yeah we aren’t going to address it remember I asked specifically for nobody to ever talk about it again that’s why we haven’t spoke about it and won’t” Wonho blushes, “it was very traumatic for me and I removed it from my brain and now you’ve reminded me and now I’m going to cry myself to sleep tonight”.

“But you admit that you are pretty dumb, right? At least sometimes” You laugh.

“Are you serious? You’re straight making fun of him for something that he seems genuinely humiliated by and didn’t ever want to talk about again. That’s so rude why would you joke about something like that?” Kihyun snaps at you before Wonho can reply. You feel that pang in your stomach again, genuinely taken aback.

“Dude chill, I know she was just playing around. I was also joking, it’s not that deep” Wonho replies, glaring at Kihyun. You slam your hands on the table and stand up, staring at him like you’re about to stab him with the barbecue scissors. The rest of the boys stare at you in shock, expecting you to rip into him. Instead of doing that like you wanted to, you just turn around and walk out the door of the restaurant, quickly wiping away the tears that are falling out of your eyes.

You sat on the bench outside the restaurant, far away from the window where the boys sat so they couldn’t see you. Your elbows are propped up on your thighs, with with your face resting in your palms and you’re staring at the ground. Your tears are dried by this point but you know if you think too hard they will fall again; which your brain keeps trying to do but you refuse to let it, you will just think of nothing. Your phone keeps vibrating and you know its probably one of the boys - most likely Kyun, trying to text or call you but you really don’t want to talk to any of them right now. You’ll just get the bus or train home later. Suddenly, you feel someone’s hand on your back as you see them sit down next to you. It was Changkyun.

“Hey” He says quietly. You don’t reply.

“Just so you know, before you even got out the door we all let Kihyun have it. For real, none of us are okay with what he was doing tonight it was ridiculous and not okay at all” Kyun grabs your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. You reciprocate.

“He was a straight bully tonight; it wasn’t even just the typical little petty digs they were actually mean, especially since you weren’t fighting back. I’m sorry for saying that he only does it because you react, you should’ve defended yourself” He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand.

“I- I tried to but, for some reason I just didn’t… I couldn’t. I wanted to tear him to shreds but my body just wouldn’t follow through” You choked out, tears welling up in your eyes again.

“It’s okay, just know that none of us boys are okay with what he did tonight and I mean you saw us defending you when you were there. We’ve made sure he knows that he won’t ever be allowed to come out with us again if he’s going to pull that again” Kyun looks into your eyes, making sure you know that he’s serious. You smile up at him, feeling so cared for and loved as a tear falls from your eye. It was a happy tear. Kyun wipes it off your cheek with his free hand.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home” Kyun stands up in front of you and helps you up.

“Thank you, Kyun”, You say, looking up at him for a few seconds before wrapping your arms around his torso “I know we joke around a lot and fight, and I know you find affection gross but, I really do love you a lot and I’m so grateful for you” you silently cry into his chest. Thank god he’s wearing black.

“It’s okay, I love you too. Also I don’t find it gross, alright, just too much of it but at times like this it’s nice” He says. You giggle as he softly pokes your cheek, keeping his hand locked with yours as he walks you to his car.

Changkyun had actually convinced you to come to a party, you don’t know why he wanted you to go, but he did. All the boys were going to be there why did he need you there? He said it was just to get you out of the house so you can clear your mind and forget about your worries for a bit, but you weren’t convinced that was the only reason why, but it was all he would tell you when you would press for an answer. It’s not that you didn’t like parties - you did, it was more the people that were going to be there, doing drugs and all the guys that will try and get in your pants just for the sake of it rather than actually being interested in you in any way. Anyways, you decided to go for the reason he said, just to get yourself out of the house and you hadn’t had a good party in a while and a reason to get all dressed up (totally nothing to do with the reason that you knew Kihyun would be there and you wanted to prove to him that you can have a fun time). You planned your outfit in your head for days in advance, and you were so happy when it actually looked great on you and by some miracle your makeup cooperated with you and came out beautifully, too. You look hot, you’d 100% fuck yourself if you were someone else. You actually feel good about yourself and excited for this party, it really is a miracle. You weren’t going to let anything… or anyone ruin your night. You’re spritzing yourself with perfume when you here the beep of a car outside, you immediately know it’s Changkyun. You grab your bag and do one last look over of yourself in the mirror; taking a quick selfie or two, or three, and then quickly running out of the door while Changkyun beeps at you to hurry up. You run outside and while you’re trying to lock your door properly Jooheon starts beeping the car horn repeatedly, you flip him off as you watch him start laughing his ass off in the front seat. Once you lock your door you quickly walk to the back door, hearing Jooheon still laughing before you even open the door. Shownu gets out of the car so you can sit in the middle.

“You’re such a child! it really isn’t that funny” You frown, climbing into the middle seat.  Jooheon lets out a ‘hoo’ as he wipes a tear away. “I think it was hilarious” Jooheon breathes, relaxing back into the passenger seat.

“She’s right, it really wasn’t” Shownu agrees as he gets back in the seat next to you and shuts the door. Wonho and Changkyun both agree with you and Shownu. “Fuck you guys” Jooheon pouts. Changkyun turns up the radio and reverses out of your driveway. You were really excited for this party.

The music was blasting; you could feel every part of your body vibrate with the bass. It had been about 2 hours since you arrived and you were pretty tipsy, borderline drunk. You had lost sight of any of your friends, the boys, classmates or friends you made literally 5 minutes ago at this party. You’re lost in the music and the tingly, happy feeling that was overtaking your body, you’re dancing the night away, along with any worry you had about anything in your life prior to coming to this party. At least you were, until you feel someone tap you on your shoulder; which you ignored because you thought you were imagining it, and if it was real you wanted them to leave you alone because you were having fun. Unfortunately, it is real and they keep persisting so you turn around angrily. You immediately scrunch your face up in disgust. It’s Kihyun.

“I need to talk to you” He slurs, grabbing onto your shoulder for support as he almost trips onto you.

“No you don’t! Fuck off” You say in a matter-of-fact tone, immediately smack his hand off you. You storm off, Kihyun following behind you.

“Please! It’s important, please just let me do it I can’t wait until next month when I next see you to talk to you, please” He begs, yelling in your ear over the music. “Then don’t. Simple” You snap back. You walk fast, pushing through the crowd of people struggling to make it through them without tripping over, the effects of your last drink starting to push you past tipsy. You’re looking for even one of the boys or just anyone to help get Kihyun away from you, which is really hard in this state and with Kihyun hot on your trail trying to plead with you. You see Minhyuk watching a game of beer pong; cheering and being even more loud than usual. You quickly run up to him and pull on his sleeve.

“Minhyuk please help me”, you look at him with big puppy eyes “Kihyun keeps saying he needs to talk to me, he won’t leave me alone and is practically harassing me, please help”.

He looks down at you, then behind you to Kihyun, then back to you.

“Oh yeah, we all told him he should talk to you”, your face changes to one of utter confusion “you should listen to him, he wants to apologise because he genuinely feels horrible. You don’t have to accept it but I think just listening to him would be good for the both of you”. You look offended, how could the boys just do that to you? After Kihyun did that to you and made you feel like complete and utter shit? Why would you ever want to listen to him or talk to him again?

“You know that I’m always honest with you, I understand why you don’t want to talk to him or listen to him – I wouldn’t want to either if I were you, but I really think it would be good for both of you to talk out your differences and it would be better for all of us, too. As someone who loves drama, I really want the both of you to just talk shit out and at least be civil. You don’t have to forgive him but just listen to what he has to say, please” Minhyuk slurs, looking you dead in the eyes. The fact he was being so wise in this intoxicated was really saying something. You sighed, he was right. Even if you just ended up hating him more, maybe he was actually genuinely sorry and would stop being an asshole from now on. You may not forgive him, not for a while, but at least you could possibly work towards being… friends?? You turn to Kihyun, seeing him looking pretty pathetic looking at you with such pleading eyes. You take his hand and guide him through the crowd in attempt to find any kind of empty room further away from the pounding music. You doubted you would have any luck though.

Even a wardrobe would suffice but you were really struggling to find an empty room of some sort. If there wasn’t already someone passed out on the bed, throwing up in the bathroom there was a couple (or more) getting up to frisky business – and obviously you couldn’t ignore any of those situations to talk to Kihyun without disturbing what was going on in the room… or disturbing yourself with the latter. You go upstairs and most of the rooms are again, taken, but you finally come across one at the end of the hall that isn’t. You half sigh, half yell a ‘finally’ and drag him in the room, locking the door behind you. You’re so relieved to be able to finally let go of Kihyun’s hand, turning to stand in front of him with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Well?” You gesture for him to start; he just looks at you with a very vacant expression on his face and you sigh in annoyance.

“Are you going to tell me what you begged me to listen to you for? This is your only chance and I suggest you don’t waste it” You tap your foot, already getting impatient. He perks up like a little puppy, suddenly remembering what he was here for.

“Oh, right. I-uh, just wanted to apologise for the other night. I was a real asshole and there’s no excuse for the things I said and did, it wasn’t even banter or petty things like it usually is it was straight bullying and I feel horrible when I remember it. I don’t even know why I kept going after you didn’t react or respond the first time, but it doesn’t matter; point is, I’m sorry. I’m really, really, sorry” Kihyun rambles, slurring and struggling to find the right words.

“Okay. Are you happy now? That I listened to… that? Will you stop harassing me? Can I leave now?” You say barely even acknowledging his apology, you really did find it pathetic and couldn’t bare to be alone in a room with him any longer. You started to walk towards the door but Kihyun stopped you.

“Are you kidding me?” He questions angrily, grabbing your arm to stop you from leaving. You frown and smack his hand off you.

“What?” You snap.

“That’s it? You can’t even acknowledge anything I said?” He says, seeming actually hurt. “Well I for sure am not forgiving you, what else do you want me to do, Kihyun? Because I really can’t even stand being alone in this room with you right now” You try to push past him but he won’t budge.

“You don’t have to forgive me; I just want to know you actually listened to me” He says surprisingly calm. He looks like a kicked puppy and you feel so fucking strange seeing Kihyun look anything but cocky and angry for once in his life.

“You’re being ridiculous, Kihyun. Of course I listened to you why would I bring you all this way, struggle to find a room for us to use for 5 seconds to not listen to you at all? Especially if seeing you so desperate to apologise to me brings me such joy?” You say it as if you were explaining it to a child, dragging out that last sentence especially longer. You see Kihyun’s expression changing to the usual one of anger, god you’re getting so much enjoyment of having the higher ground right now.

“Not to mention”, you walk closer to his face “that ‘apology’ was nothing short of just, plain pathetic”. Using your finger to put the quotations around ‘apology’, you have the biggest smirk on your face. Kihyun runs his tongue over his cheeks as he steps closer to you, inches from your face. You don’t cower one bit, in fact you look him dead in the eyes as you chuckle.

“Pathetic?” He questions, looking down at you.

“Hopeless, pitiful, miserable, plain fucking shit or whatever you wish to call it, really” You reply, not even trying to hide your enjoyment. You barely finished your sentence before Kihyun turns you around and slams you into the wall, arms either side of your head. He did it so quickly you’re actually shocked, especially since he’s drunk and his reaction times are meant to be slower.

“You’re really, really fucking pushing it” He whispers, spacing out his words to make sure you’re perfectly understanding how angry you’re making him. “And? As if you’re going to do anything about it” You scoff, arms crossed over your chest. You refuse to show any sign of intimidation, though you actually are quite shocked right now. His gaze doesn’t move from your face, he’s breathing heavily and you hate this tension surrounding you both right now, its silent apart from the screaming of everyone outside and the muffle of the music downstairs. You see Kihyun’s gaze fall to your lips for a second, so brief that you wondered if it was even real or if you were making it up.

“See, I knew it. You’re not going to do anything because you’re just as pathetic as that apology wa-” Before you can even finish your sentence Kihyun slams his lips into yours. Your eyes are wide, part of you wants to push him away but an even bigger part of you refuses to back down. You slide on your hands to his hair, entangling your fingers in it and pulling harshly, he moans in response. He deepens the kiss, a hand on your neck and a hand on your back, pulling you closer to him. You slide your tongue against his lip and he responds by sliding his tongue in your mouth, refusing to let you take even the tiniest bit of dominance. You bite and pull on his lip as you pull away, breathless. You lean your head back on the wall as he starts leaving kisses along your jaw, moving down to your neck. Your hand is still pulling on his hair and your other one is latched onto his shoulder. His hands move down to your ass, squeezing it.

“You better not leave hickeys, we’re not high schoolers” You whisper. He lets out a scoff as he moves his hands down to your thighs, signalling for you to wrap your legs around him. You do so, kissing down his neck to his collarbones as he moves you to the bed. He throws you onto the sheets, you open your legs as he slides his body in between them. You start making out, even more heated than before, your lips and tongues moving in sync. Kihyun moves his hand up to your hair, pulling on it as you whine and press your hips up into his, he grinds down against you in response. You slide your hands under his shirt, digging your nails into his chest and he groans as he continues grinding into you harshly. His hand that is on your hip slides down your thigh, moving it up and around his back as he pulls away from the kiss, breathless and he sits up to slide his shirt off. For fucks sake, why does he have to be so attractive yet so annoying.

“Are you going to actually do anything or just continue to play around?” You pant, staring up at him. Before he can answer or do anything in response you flip the both of you over so you’re now straddling him. You roll your hips over his crotch a few times, feeling his bulge very prominently through your panties under your skirt. He tries to flip you back over but you put your hands on his shoulders and give him a look that makes him fall back and give up. You slide your shirt off, revealing your cute, lacy bra that you always wore to these kind of occasions in case you did get some action and would look at that? This time you actually did. You give Kihyun a passionate kiss on the lips and pull away quickly to start kissing down his jaw agonisingly slow, he accidentally lets a little whimper slip as his eyes flutter shut which makes you giggle softly, he’s actually cute when he’s needy. You then move to his neck, then his chest, then his stomach all the way down past his belly button and stop at the hem of his jeans. He snaps his eyes open as he looks down at you with dark eyes and you just bite your lip and give a bratty smile in response. You don’t break eye contact as you undo his belt, pulling it out and throwing it on the ground to then unzip his jeans and yank them off. You walk your fingers up his thigh, stopping just before you reach his bulge.

“Stop teasing or I swear to go-” He growls, you started palming him through his boxers before he even finished his sentence and he ended it in the cutest whine you’ve ever heard. You smile as his hips snap up instinctively at even the tiniest bit of friction as you slowly palm him, curling your fingers to fit around his shaft. He has one hand gripping the sheets and another around the headboard, he’s trying to keep his hips still but is really struggling to not roll against your hand. You decide he’s had enough teasing for now and stop palming him to pull down the waistband of his boxers, pulling them all the way off. His dick snaps up as soon as the boxers are off it, hitting his stomach and he grunts at the sudden contact of air against his throbbing cock. Once his boxers are discarded, you wrap your hand around the bottom of his shaft and start to pump him, flicking your wrist as your hand moves up and down. Kihyun immediately snaps his hips up, breathing out a ‘fuck’ as he watches you through half close eyelids. You hate to admit it but, he looks so pretty right now. Precum is already starting to leak out of his tip, so you bring your mouth to it and slowly lick it off with the tip of your tongue. Kihyun throws his head back with a choked moan as you slowly circle your tongue around his tip, you place your lips around and suck harshly, never stopping the movement of your hand. His hand gripping the sheet starts feeling around for your head, gripping onto your hair and trying to push you down so you’d take him in your mouth.

“Keep being pushy and I will stop everything and walk out of this room” You snap. He immediately loosens his grip on your hair and you go back to sucking on his tip again, flattening your tongue as you slowly take him in your mouth. Kihyun grunts and bites his lip hard, trying to stop any kind of moan from slipping out. He looks down at you as you’re bobbing your head up and down, bringing your hand up to meet your lips as you pump him at the same time.

“You know, if you weren’t so annoying I’d say you look so hot right now” He says, struggling to speak without it coming out in a moan. You roll your eyes, he was very dumb to say that because you are literally sucking his dick and could bite it off at any moment… but he also implied that you look hot, which sent tingles right down to your clit. You removed your hands and moved your mouth all the way down to the bottom of his shaft, almost gagging as he hit the back of your throat. His grip on your hair tightens again and he guides your head up and down, your grip hard on his thighs as you try not to gag. You’ve hollowed out your cheeks and flattened out your tongue as you suck along with your head movements.

“I’m so close” Kihyun breathes, the muscles in his lower stomach visibly tightening. You remove his hand from your hair so that you can fasten your pace, bringing your hand back in to pump him again. He throws his back, cursing repeatedly and you feel his dick twitch in your mouth. Right as he reaches the peak of his high you take him out of your mouth and remove your hand, sitting up on his leg to watch and relish in his agony.  His head snaps up as his face darkens immediately.

“Oh baby, you are going to regret that” Kihyun coos, the way ‘baby’ rolls off his tongue unsettles you and causes a very hot feeling in your core.

“Don’t call me baby” You command, returning his dark gaze. He sits up and pushes you down on the bed, your head hanging off the end of the bed. He reaches his hand down under your skirt, pressing his index finger hard along your slit; applying the most pressure where your clit is. You bite your lip, whining a little.

“Wow you’re already so wet and I’ve done absolutely nothing” He says cockily. “If you’re really going to be this cocky already you better be bloody good” You snap, rolling your hips against his finger. He chuckles and nods, fair argument. He starts to rub your clit through your panties, making you gasp at the sudden movement. He uses his other hand to unclasp your bra and slide it off your arms, he throws it to the side and immediately starts to kiss and suck on your tits. You run your hands through his hair as he assaults your chest and clit at the same time. He moves your panties to the side and slides his index and middle finger into your hole, moving his thumb to your clit. You let a loud moan slip, his fingers curling right up to your sweet spot. After he’s pleased with the pretty bruises he’s left all over your tits he slides his lips down your body until he’s at the hem of your skirt. You lift your head up to watch him, he smirks up at you as he slides his other hand under your skirt to the hem of your panties, pulling them down your thighs slowly. Knowing what was about to come gave you such a restless rush in your core. You kicked your legs, ushering him to hurry up and he smiles at your desperateness, he pulls them off one leg and holds your other leg up and slides them off. Once discarded, he bends your leg over his shoulder and he lays back down on his stomach, lining his head in between your legs. He starts to kiss up your thigh, stopping for a split second as he reaches your heat before lifting your skirt over his head. He then uses his fingers to part your lips as he licks a stripe up your slit. You arch your back, both hands moving to his hair immediately. He doesn’t waste a second before he starts kissing and sucking on your clit and his fingers return to pumping themselves in and out of your entrance. All the pleasure from when he was only fingering you before returns and intensifies, not having to catch back up to where it was before. At this rate you will be coming within seconds. You pull on Kihyun’s hair as you push your hips down to his face, begging for more. He flicks his tongue against your clit rapidly as he curls his two fingers up into your g-spot at the same pace, making you scream. You have to swing one hand over to the sheets to grip tightly otherwise you were afraid you’d explode. You hated that you were about to come this quick, but you just put it down to waiting for your turn for what felt like hours. You don’t tell Kihyun that you’re close because you already know what he will do, so you just don’t say anything and hope you come before he can stop. He starts sucking on your clit and feels it throb as your walls tighten around his fingers, he decides to let you build it up even more before he stops. You start panting and whining, curses falling from your lips as your eyes squeeze shut. He feels your thighs and muscles tightening around his head and once your hips start to rise more against his face, he stops and pulls his head back out from under your skirt. You don’t realise for a few seconds but once you do you immediately sit up and try to kick him, but he just smirks and slides you over to the top of the bed on the pillows. He wastes no time in pumping himself and lining himself up in front of your entrance, you look down, wide eyed. You didn’t expect this, but you hate how much you want it. He slides himself in with a groan, and you wrap your legs around his hips. He snaps his hips into yours and leans his head into your shoulder as he starts thrusting. The thrusts are deep and at a moderate pace, not wanting to go too fast just yet. Your high already starts building up again, your nails are digging into his shoulders, but with the sweat and movement of his body with his thrusts they start slipping and leaving deep scratch marks down his back. He hissed at the stinging sensation of the scratches coming into contact with the air and saltiness of his sweat, he loved the light pain of it. You couldn’t even moan as you felt like you were about to burst, just whine and whimper, trying to grab back onto Kihyun’s shoulder when your nails reach the end of his back. You tighten your thighs around his hips as your walls tighten around his cock thrusting into your g-spot. Your back arches as you start panting and whimpering, Kihyun holding onto the headboard to be able to reach you deeper. He has his forehead against yours, eyes shut tight as he tries so hard to maintain. You finally come undone as your walls throb around him, pushing him closer to his high. You’re moaning what sounds like his name amongst other things, which is secretly driving him crazy in the best way possible. While you’re still in the middle of your orgasm Kihyun flips you over, shoving your face into the pillow which catches you by surprise. He pulls your hips up with him as he gets up on his knees and starts to thrust faster, hitting you from a new angle but still so deep and so sweet. Your walls are still clenched tightly around him, not coming down from your high but rather building a new one from where you were just at which you really aren’t sure if you can handle. Kihyun licks his fingers and starts to rub your clit with his four fingers, sending unfathomable pleasure straight to the deepest part of your core. You push your hips back against him as you shove your face deeper into the pillow and grip the pillow until your knuckles turn white, about to cry from the pleasure you’re feeling everywhere. You’re sure you’re about to explode for real this time. You let out a muffled scream into the pillow as you come again, your body shakes as it rocks through your whole body. Kihyun’s thrust become sloppy as he feels your walls throbbing against him and sees your juices dripping down your thighs and it pushes him over the edge, he rubs your clit a few more times as he reaches the peak of his high. Before he ejaculates he flips you back over so he can come all over your chest as he pumps himself empty. He’s letting out low moans as he looks down at your face, loving how fucked out and flushed you look. Once he’s all empty he falls back onto the bed next to you.

“I think I win that one” He sighs, breathless. You just turn to look at him, your expression unreadable. You struggle to get yourself up, going blind as you try not to fall on the floor after getting up and hold onto the bed for balance. You walk to the bathroom to clean yourself up, using toilet paper to clean up your chest, noticing all the hickeys but not complaining about them. You brush your hair out neatly with your fingers and wipe off your smudged lipstick and use another bit of toilet paper to dab some sweat off your forehead and face. Once you’re satisfied you walk back out into the bedroom to see Kihyun hasn’t moved, you start to get dressed back into your clothes. Kihyun watches you, not saying anything and you’re glad he isn’t. As you walk past him to leave the room he stops you and grabs your wrist.

“I really am sorry, though” He smiles softly. You snap your hand away harshly.

“You’re going to have to do better than that”

[almasidaliano]

Almasi for President

so in about 12 to 16 years, i am running for president. i do not believe the world will have ended then, though i do believe things will be different. hoping for better, not, not expecting worse. our system is broken. all of the systems are broken. the government is corrupt. the justice system is corrupt. those in charge are turning blind eyes, covering things up, and allowing the fall of our country. i will not be surprised if a civil war commences; although i'm also thinking they are going to really create and push for a purge. we are in real trouble then. that just goes back to what i said, are you standing for something or dying for nothing?

people were excited for biden to win. and i have to say, i was not one of them. biden seems like another puppet to me. obama was a puppet. he was his vp. crazy how biden is president and he has a black female vp now. that sounds like a win huh? wrong, she contributed to the failed prosecution of the officers who murdered Oscar Grant. that went over everyone's head during the election though. trump was just so bad had to get him out. biden is anti LGBTQ+. everyone wanted to put it on trump folks getting rowdy and such however, biden won and nothing changed.

trump's slogan was "make america great again." personally, i think he could have. trump's a businessman and to say the least, entertainment. they gave trump four years, why do you think they didn't renew his contract? because he was playing them. trump is a classist. he doesn't like poor people. personally, i think he just believes hardwork pays off, his did and so he just holds everyone to the standard he held himself. there are circumstances, however i think that's fair. he said all this racist shit everyone got mad. yet, he won by a landslide because the country said they would still rather this "bigoted, racist, sexist, classist asshole" than a woman. then the country complained the whole time. he exposed america and instead of society shining light and doing something they continued to do what we have been doing; pointing blame.

the system has failed us. the system failed us a long time ago. all trump did was present a call to action. the one thing i can give rednecks is they patriotic as fuck. they want the america they invision type shit. i feel like melanated people in general struggle with that because america never felt like home. america never wanted us here. but the fact of the matter is, this all we know. this is home now. there are 3 real options. 1. go back to where your bloodline stems. 2. sit and conform, hope they dont get you. 3. defend your rights, your home, and your people; come out on top or die trying. you have to pick something though. we have to do something because they those set to protect us are out to get us.

we do not have a democratic government not even a representative democracy like we once thought. sorry if you were today years old when you found out. we operate out of a republic; a constitutional federal republic. what's the difference? in a democracy, all that voting that we do, matters.  even if it was a representative democracy. we would have representatives to disclose our decisions. the electoral college makes final decisions on elections.

a constitutional federal republic means that the constitution which is the law of the land governs the land. if this is the law of the land, why do we have sub laws? the constitution needs to be amended. want to fix the race and inequality issues? let me tell you how, real easy fix. call a convention. take out any amendment that gives rights to people AND reword the beginning anyway folks see fit so that women and americans from all ethnic backgrounds get the same level of respect and rights. there will always be an unspoken division until things like that are rectified. before black people got rights we were not even counted as complete people, simply 3/5s of a person. life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. these are unalienable rights. my very existence guarantees me these rights.

the judicial system coupled with the criminal law system are hopeful, and still in need of reform. prisons are privately owned institutions, which are supposed to be forms of rehabilitation. instead, they are condemning people and treating them inhumanely; creating the same environment they were in on the outside, on in the inside conditioning them to be stuck in these ways as means of survival and then continue to place blame on them. officers need to take crimes more seriously. people are people, bias, prejudices, and profiling have no place in the workplace. officers are corrupt, arresting kids for selling, who just are trying to help their mother with the bills, then turning around and selling it back out on the streets. officers are wrongfully convictind and killing predominately (as far as the media is broadcasting) though not only melanated people. on top of that, they are walking free. lives are being lost and they arent even losing their jobs. tax dollars are going towards keeping them safe. however, if a civilian shoots a cop. up the river for them.

lawyers aren't fighting hard enough. especially defense attorneys. it is fairly simple to get a conviction with the right information, proving innocence is always a bit more complicated. the problem is that attorneys get too big eyed. they looking at how to get their clients off, accountability is another taboo in this society. there are a multitude of people who are innocent behind bars, as well as those who received heinous outrageous sentences. that is not right.

people factor more than necessary when trying to make a decision, yet they ignore the things that remind them a person is human. its this art contest over who can paint the best picture of the defendant. which story is easy for a jurors bias to sway? how people look matters. and it shouldn't. our government since the building of america, has created dividing markers.

just like with royal kingdoms, the wife couldn't have things of her own. her role was cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids, and whatever else was asked of her. if there was a divorce, the woman got nothing. they had no rights. imagine being the first born as a female in a royal family and being told you can't have your kingdom, correction you can but you must marry to get it. then if you get married the new king running things not you. what is that? its called patriarchy. our government is run off a patriarchy as well.

so i never really believed there could be like a true separation of church and state because every law and decision made was based on people's morals and beliefs. there is supposed to be a separation of church and state yet, due to people's religious beliefs gay marriage had to get legalized, despite there being no law for heterosexual marriage. would that not make it illegal? since gay marriage had to be legalized though there was not a law for it either? then on top of that, how do you make it a law, and still for religious reasons, ministers and such can refuse? there are always stipulations and hinderances for the rights of those who are not white men.

ABORTION: i really do not know why we are still having this conversation. its literally conversations like this that have me looking at americans like--- seriously? once again there should be a separation of church and state. so religion cannot be a reason to outlaw it. how can you put out a law that dictates what someone can do with their body? all of life, i mean every part of life should be pro-choice. its just that simple. Pro-Choice. i am all for the right to decide for yourself. and men want to feel a way about women making that decision on their own. and while i do stand behind the fact that ultimately it is the womans decision, that does not mean she can't listen to an opinion. it is a part of the woman, literally grows inside of her an entire being. and fathers can just dip out and folks will just look at the mom and suddenly she should just become super woman. the pressure that comes with having a child is enough on its own. like thats a being that is dependent on you. some people are honest with themselves and know they arent ready or dont want it. all they need is support. the mental toll life takes on us is huge as well. still people do not consider that at all.

there is no point of incarcerating people, if they have still lost a chance at a decent life once they get out. jail is for rehabilitation. they go, do their time and then they are supposed to be allowed to try again. our government knows nothing of redemption, that's why all the top leaders go through so much to hide their dirt. they crucify civilians trying to make themselves seem superior, really they are just like you and i. almasi for president. im going to save the world.

-Almasi

[mumpkins]

Private OC Rating

Done by @cho-rates​, I just decided to have the balls to make it public and answer questions! (as well as fix some things)

cho’s comments and questions will be in BOLD. 

My answers and fixed places will be in ITALIC!

Name: Shotaro Kaneda

Hero/Villain Name (if applicable): N/A

Age: 24 ( An aged up verse, he’s a couple years older than 1-A. Though sometimes I will portray his teen years as well, I have more information on his adult verse. I do want to flesh out teen years at some point though lol )

Birthday: September 5 (a virgo eww)

Gender: Male

Orientation: Bi-sexual

Height: 5'7"

Weight: 133 lbs

Hair: ear-length, fixed but slightly unruly, black

Appearance: Athletic agile build, Asian descent, brown eyes, red tinted hands and feet, small red horns on his forehead, long spiked / devilish red tail

Body: Athletic agile build

Quirk: Steam – Kaneda can build up and blow a hot steam that can potentially burn (or even melt depending on the force) his opponents. (Ahaha, the quirk fits the body appearance. I bet this one is going to be a hot head or really sweet)

Weakness: Building up and releasing too much steam at once can cause overexertion to the point where he can and will collapse and not be able to move for a while. Also his fucking ego. (LMFAO, I guess we’re dealing with the former and not the latter!)

Personality: Kaneda becomes the main symbol of defiance, expressing anarchy behavior towards authority and absolutely does not accept blatant disrespect. Kaneda values loyalty and becomes vengeful when trust is broken. He is impulsive, hot-headed, egotistical, and maintains a tough exterior; however, he is brave, independent, and highly empathetic. As a leader, Kaneda will look out for the safety and well-being of his allies, and will throw himself in front of a bullet for them if need be. (This!! I like that you didn’t make him a straight jerk and that you gave him good traits as well!)

Do they work well with others?: You are either with him or against him. By default he will work well if not negotiate unless you have a badge stating your authority.

Family: Parents deceased; family is his gang of brothers, all misfits and loyal to the bone

Friends (other oc’s or in BNHA universe): OC’s; his bike gang

Enemies(other oc’s or in BNHA universe): literally by default does not trust the cops or heroes (LOL)

Romantic Interests: by happenstance, Izuku Midoriya (LOL pt.2)

What do they think about heroes?: Oh shit oh fuck uhhhh

A couple of things about heroes. He sees the rise of fame being motivation for pro-heroes lately. They seem real fake to him, and it runs along the lines of Stain’s idea of “false heroes”. But he also sees them as a bunch of buzz kills when he’s trying to ride out and do his own thing that happens to be illegal. (LOL this guy is so problematic in a very headass type of way and it’s really entertaining. He’s a really fun character to read about.)

What do they think about villains?: They’re somewhat easier to work with, but he does not associate himself with hardcore villains either. As much as he himself could easily be considered one, he considers himself more in a grey area. He won’t kill a hero – actually he hesitates to kill anyone – but he won’t turn on a villain either if only because any of them could either arrest him or kill him. (Ah, he’s smarter than he lets on. I wonder how much of this is empathy and how much of this is him saving his own ass,,)

In terms of villains, he’s very much along the lines of “snitches get stitches”. At this point it doesn’t matter what his views are with a villain or a rival gang, he’s not gonna call the cops or any heroes as that is a lower blow than trying to either run or solve the issue on his own. He would rather risk his dignity than call the authorities. 

Is their first reaction to danger: flight or fright?

Depends on the danger. If he knows it’s an even match, he’ll throw fists. If he knows he has no chance, he’ll turn tail (heh) and run. (i’m actually laughing omg stop)

If they had to be stuck on an island with one BNHA character, who would it be and why?

don’t don’t ever give him the option (brO TELL ME)

Favorite holiday and why?

Halloween. As a child he always loved to dress up as his favorite hero. As an adult, he’s more attuned to the day before Halloween as “Mischief Day” and takes “tricks” to the extremes.

Do they have a certain way of dressing/ style?

His wardrobe is casual and lazy punk clothes. He does occasionally sport a bright red jacket with his gang’s logo on the back.

Pet peeves: Assuming his character for his looks (I mean you right but he hates it) (LMFAO I’m trying to give a serious review here and you hitting me with all this lolol)

Favorite food: shrimp tempura and rice

Favorite drink: Pepsi (ayyeee, pepsi > coke)

What is their favorite season/weather?: Summer

What is their sleep schedule like?: Whenever (mood)

Introvert, Extrovert or Ambivert?: Extrovert

Quickest way to upset them?: Pull his tail (I….I’m so tempted)

What type of student were they/are they?: Given that he only went to school so he didn’t have to do community service… he did the bare minimum, still got held back once (got mightily pissed off about it), and left as soon as he turned 18. Will also add that the school he went to was one step closer to juvie.

Superlative that fits them best (class clown, teachers pet, etc): Most Likely Will Be His Own Boss

A song you associate with them: Survival of the Fittest - Robert DeLong

What’s their diet like?: He will inhale anything in front of him, but he has a real fast metabolism

What’s the last thing they ate?: McDonald’s burger combo

Hobbies: riding his motorcycle and sometimes play video games

Guilty Pleasures: I mean. If you got the dokis for a hero and you’re a real anarchist……..

When and what was the last thing that made them cry?: laid in bed one night. like you do. thought about where his life was. wondered where it was going. you know just one of those fun nights. (this got too real too fast and i feel mildly attacked)

General Extras: In general, he is a real neutral guy that doesn’t play sides unless you’re on his specifically. He doesn’t take being talked down to and will even argue his side to keep himself above it all. Even raise fists. But he is impulsive as shit and does not always think his decision through. Definitely not book smart, but strongly street smart and highly confident in his actions. (I get that vibe from everything you’ve said, you summarized it really well and took the words out of my mouth!)

Do you plan on filling out a roleplay form(No pressure if you don’t want to do it, this is more for me so I can keep your forms together if you send in both): nah I’m just curious about this one

Creator Name (that’s you!): Mumzy

Blog name where I can contact you: mumpkins

Did you have fun doing this?! (pls just say yes so my feelings don’t get hurt): I REALLY DID and eventually there came a point where I was literally like “well shit he’s kind of a dumb bastard what else is there”

PLEASE JUST SEND THE ANSWERS DIRECTLY TO ME I DON’T NEED THIS POSTED 8’D

I’ll post it private and send you the link!

*deep inhales* BOI. Shotaro is such an unintentional meme?? Like big crackhead vibes from him like…he’s really just a lil misfit goin around and doing as he pleases,, so much angst in this one like??? (i hope you dont take any offence to this,, i just really like his character lol) he seems pretty factious to me LOL. I like his quirk, simple and easy and his weakness is plausible, no OP oc’s here! His personality really shined through and you portrayed him well. That little paragraph you wrote summarizing him was a really solid description and would be perfect for a character sheet. The only inconsistencies were, at the top you put his age as 17 but in the “what type of student were they” you mentioned him turning 18 but otherwise he is a really solid character! I’m 20 something so I can’t crush on anyone younger than 20 but he’s really… *deep breath* …moving on. I love his personality and the fact that he’s this punk but in reality he’s an impartial dude who is chill unless something offends him or opposes him but he is also very loyal and empathetic, two qualities that I love!

Idk if you wanted questions since this is a private rating but i’ll put some either way and u can choose to fill em out or nah,, i mainly do it to help develop character and its just fun to talk abt oc’s sooo,,

What job do you see him having in the future? He’s not really here no there so i’m interested!

After he drops out of high school, he flat out does not know what to do. As he is familiar with criminal work, he stays to what he knows with his bike gang... and incidentally gets picked up by mob members. He begins as an errand boy for one organized group, but never is he ever initiated as a member. After having been exposed by a variety of assignments from various villains, by the age of 20 he’s doing all kinds of illegal work. He becomes a man for hire in the undergrounds, helping with drug trafficking, enforcement, body guarding, petty thieving, etc. You name it, he’s probably done it.

But that’s only in the dark. To keep himself balanced, he’s also a bar back for a local bar in the sketchy side of town. An honest job when he meets people and can tell them what he does for work without putting off any red flags.

A couple of reasons why he does shady work is not due to enjoyment. Actually, he wishes he never got involved as everyday feels like he’s at risk of getting killed for angering the wrong person. He doesn’t plan ahead of his life only because he could step outside one morning and breathe his last breath. For one thing, his best friend who grew up with him and is part of his gang is in rehab at this point and Kaneda is the only person who he can turn to for help -- by this, Kaneda opts to pay those hospital bills with the quick and astounding amount of money he receives from criminal work. Another reason is plain and simple: once he has done work for one organized criminal group, once his name is spread around the underground as a reliable hire, there’s no way of suddenly dropping that life without risking it all.

Is there anything in particular he does to relax?? Tv, music, hobbies, etc,

The best way he can relax is riding his motorcycle in the late hours of the night. He loves the city, and will speed through until he finds open road where he will just continue to ride until he feels calm again.

If he’s especially frustrated and the steam has built up in his lungs, he will hold it in until he finds a safe spot (preferably home) to release it all and collapse for a while. Yes, his apartment would be a sauna if he doesn’t open his windows.

Sex also helps.

Is he a pessimist or optimist? He’s very unbiased it seems so I wonder what his personal mindset is,,

More of an optimist, but in a way where he prefers to mask sorrow and tension with humor and a lighter perspective. He can’t afford to not be confident, and he tries his damndest to pass that on given the circumstances. “This will work” he would say to an idea he briefly thought of, mostly trusting his gut and hoping that if he passes on the mindset and convinces others of his confidence, then yes in some way things will work out.

But I also say that he’s not very optimistic of his own future (sorry to bring this back). He lives for the moment, but given the life he lives, he does not trust it will be a long one. 

So it’s hard to explain, but he’d more say, “nothing matters in the end; do whatever the hell you want now”.

[autisticlalna]

Ahhhhhhh I know!!! DreamXD literally making Karl a time traveler!! A clear-cut figure we can point to and say "your fault"!! And him making the entire Inbetween and Other Side and putting the overseers there!! Like, I'll have to rewatch, but why make Karl time travel and then give him this "choice" of what to do with it, where both sides are playing dirty to convince him! Maybe there's a third option of what Karl can do with his powers thay DXD doesn't want him to consider? YO WAIT that even ties in with the moral of the Maze!!! Hmmmmmmmm

But gosh yes Honk and the Overseers!!! Because, given Honk was quoting the Inbetween's books at one point, that would definitely make sense that it leads back to the Overseer? I had just assumed the Inbetween Overseer was lying about not turning the Inbetween hostile, because it's lied to Karl before and I don't trust either of them to do what's best for Karl. But!! Imagine it was something else? Imagine the Other Side was so desperate to bring Karl over, it reached out to him through its own connection to Honk and manufactured a danger to push him there? Imagine DreamXD doing all that and having indirect control of Honk through the Overseers to make sure Karl and Honk both stay entertaining?? Or is there an external force focusing on the Shadows that's acting on an unknown agenda??? !!!!!!

YEAH like. okay last year i was Really not on board with "the inbetween is dXD" but thats bc it felt like people were really straining to tie karl's lore into other stuff (and like, ill admit i am not on board with "ranboo is the other time traveler" bc ranboo is v clearly doing His Own Thing), but actually getting to see dXD talk to karl and getting an explanation of things won me over tbh. also the build for Dream XD's World is SO FUCKING COOL oh my god. big ol' clock.

but yeah the thing with making karl make a Choice is.. really interesting. and there's also the bit that the other-side's overseer said that the inbetween wasn't made Balanced, and we still dont really know what the purpose of the inbetween actually is. the overseer said that he'd help karl learn to control things, but.. how? at least the other-side's purpose is more tangible, at the cost of karl needing to spend more and more time away from the present

AND YEAH THE MORAL OF THE MAZE!! it's all a loop, they're stuck on-rails, there were cracks but they weren't Looking for them so they're stuck in a cycle!! karl needs to be able to find a third option! there needs to be a way to escape this! aaaaaaaa

yeah i am Very sus about the inbetween overseer but also like.. if they were telling the truth, that's very interesting. because then that implies there's another force at play that the overseer doesn't know about. and like, the other-side overseer was pushy about wanting karl to stay, but they didnt trap him or threaten him or anything like the inbetween tried. i dont think i trust Either of them rn, bc the inbetween has a known history of being Fucked Up and the other-side, while focused on "the good of everyone", seems to overlook or not really care about karl's life in the present and what's important to him. he's very much a pawn

and the thing is. the thing is. honk is definitely a pawn too. and i can kinda see it like.. he's very heavily rooted in the inbetween, and as a result would feel pressure to try and direct karl there even though he knows karl's been getting hurt, but there's also the potential of like-- the reason why honk is corrupted by the inbetween is because that's what karl is linked to, basically. if karl starts leaning more towards the other-side, that could bleed over to honk and put honk in an interesting position. in a way, karl isn't just choosing a side for himself, it's just that he's in the middle while honk's already weighted to one end

but also the idea of it being the other-side making the inbetween's facade crack and driving karl to escape, to learn that there's even an other side to the story to begin with, and using honk to do that ? holy Shit that is a hell of a thing. MAN

ohhhh god dXD having control of honk, also. that can only go well (that will go poorly, probably). but also dXD did mention that the last time traveler lost all of his memories and he had to get rid of him.. maybe thats why honk's corruption manifests in that specific way. he's a backup plan.

[inkstainedfanfics]

The Gods’ Apprentice: Dreaming Past the Waves - Part 2

Summary: Two lovers are intertwined, their fates meant to be nothing more than mere toys of the universe meant to entertain the gods of old. But when they find themselves torn apart, separated by both distance and stolen memories, they fight to rediscover who they were together before time destroys the very echo of their love. Fate and the gods may have their plans in place, but these two have faith in more than just prophecies.

Word Count: 2,390

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Tag List: @dont-give-a-bother @ly--canthrope @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @caseoffics @benniesgalaxy @whatinbenaddiction @studyforthreehands @thosefantasticbeast2 @red-roses-and-stories

Part 1

                                          EIGHT YEARS LATER

Newt stands unsure, eyes bleary from sleep. He seems to be on a beach of some sort given the sand sinking between his toes and the sound of waves nearby. He blinks twice, and the scene suddenly becomes clear in front of him, glistening as though seen through a kaleidoscope. Deep blue waves crest and fall, breaking against the golden sand lining the long beach. Birds poke at crumbs of dropped food and a whale leaps into the horizon, its huge figure nearly touching the full moon that’s hanging just above the water line. The smell of the sea and wind drifts across the quiet beach, and a warm breeze ruffles Newt’s unkempt red hair. He blinks again, trying to understand why he’s here, what’s happened. Is this a new job he had forgotten to finish before lying down for the night?

A warm hand wraps around his own, tugging on him though he startles and flinches away from the touch. “Newt, darling, do you hear that?”

He’s face-to-face with the most stunning woman he’s ever seen. Her eyes are sparkling with life and joy, and she’s smiling up at him like he’s her lifeline.

His heart leaps in response as some fragment of him hidden deep within his chest rejoices at her presence, begging him to draw her against him and kiss her. He recoils from the sudden reaction, resisting the impulse to be near her. His head spins as he struggles to drag some memory of that face, those eyes, from his mind. Surely there was a reason to his reaction, right? Or was it magic, some foul demon corrupting him?

A bird call rings out, stretching like a song as it crashes in time with the waves.

The woman shuts her eyes, swaying along. “Oh, it’s so beautiful, don’t you think?”

Words break from his mouth before he can even think of them, too natural to be held back behind his heavy tongue. “It’s always beautiful around here, love.”

The woman blushes, ducking her head, and Newt wonders why those words seemed to fit so well for the moment.

“Darling,” she murmurs, her voice soft, “when will I see you again?”

He blinks in surprise. “I don’t… I don’t even know your name.”

She shakes her head, and a shell necklace draped over her collarbone clatters in response. “Impossible. That… that’s impossible.” This seems to distress the woman, and she suddenly grabs his hand with both hands, clutching them tight. “Newt, you must remember.”

“I’m sorry?”

She shuts her eyes, grip tightening slowly around Newt’s hand, warm palms pressed against his knuckles, sucking the icy cold from his calloused hands. “Please, please remember. You must. You must before it’s too late.”

Newt blinks again, stepping away despite the force drawing him near her, begging him to pull her toward him and never let go. “Do I… do I know you?”

A tear slips down her cheek, glistening in the fractured moonlight. She pushes herself onto her toes, pressing a warm, gentle kiss to his cheek, lingering only long enough for Newt to shut his eyes. The fleeting tail of a memory whips him, wakens him to the reality of the situation. Yes, yes he does know her.

He knows her quite well.

“Wait, you’re… you’re…” Newt squeezes her hands, trying to grip the memory.

There must be more than the warmth of a kiss, must be more than the glance of the eyes and the light touch of a hand.

“You remember?” The woman says, her voice trembling with hope.

“No, I…” Newt reaches up to rub his wrinkled forehead, but the action does little to quell the anger and frustration burning behind his eyelids. If only he could remember whatever it was, if only he could earn that small instance back.

Suddenly the bird’s song quits as a wave rises, not crashing against the beach but instead growing higher, swaying like a cobra.

Newt glances at it, sucking in a breath and pulling the woman behind him. “We need to leave—”

“No,” she tears her hand from his grip, “no, you need to remember it, remember me.”

The wave approaches quickly, the roar loudening as it neared, and then all that mattered was removing the woman, saving her. “We need to leave.”

“Newt!” She screams, tearing her hand from his when he tries to pull her away again, “Stop! It’s a dream, it doesn’t matter. You need to remember me!”

Newt stares at her, mouth open as it suddenly returns, as the memories begin flooding in.

Only one takes hold before the wave slams down on the two of them, choking him.

The salty smell of sea air drifts through the cottage, prodding Newt out of the deep slumber he’d finally managed to achieve for the first time in ages. Literally ages, he believes, as he sits up and stretches. His muscles are sore from the back-breaking work of plowing the fields the full day before, a punishment for daring to ask a question about the goal of his accounting. Though he’s supposed to stand right away and ready himself for another day of work, he takes a moment to run his finger over his cheek, the action returning some warmth to the cold vacancy that had taken hold of his heart in the past five years. The dream had seemed so real, so true…

Then the voice comes, demanding as it always does, a current of threats running under the pleasant words. “Now up we go, Newt. Too much work today to laze around!”

Newt rubs his eyes, rolling his shoulders as he stands and reaches for the customary button-down shirt always laid out at the end of his bed. So far, this internship was the worst. “Must you insist on interrupting my dreams?”

A man appears in the doorway, a grin splitting his face as he waits for Newt to finish readying. “How do you expect me to know you’re dreaming? It’s not as though I walk through your head every night. I have far more important things to attend to.”

“Yes? Like surfing?”

The man laughs, and it’s a big noise, round and low and filling the cabin with joy. “Ah, my brother, one day you’ll learn of the pleasantries of this job.”

Newt presses his lips together in response, slipping a mustard colored vest over his shirt.

“Come on, now, this truly cannot be the worst assignment you’ve had yet? I hear Apollo had you flying the chariot. Now that task is a lot of pressure.”

Newt shakes his head, yanking a splintering oar from where he stashed it under his cot the night before. It certainly wasn’t the most secure place for such a belonging, but Newt was unaware of anyone that would choose to steal the withering wood. It pricks his fingers as he tightens his grip, following the man out of the cabin, but he doesn’t readjust his hold. The handle is worn smooth in grooves, places where his fingers fit perfectly now whenever he must ready to row.

“You know, I never did hear about your preparations for the culmination on the morrow. Have you chosen a preference yet?”

Newt forces himself to focus, though his mind keeps drifting to the warmth that seems to remain on his cheek. It was just a bloody dream, no need to worry so much over the meaning. “I have not. I’ve plenty of time.”

The man whistles, though Newt notices his back muscles have tensed. “I’m not so certain about that, brother. A week is very little time. Are you certain you’ll have what you need?”

Impatience simmers in Newt’s chest, burning quietly like embers as the man continues to speak. He ought to know by now that Newt knows what he is doing, who he is choosing. Is there truly any doubt among them?

He can only hope his choice is accepted.

“If your choice isn’t accepted, you can always expect to find a place here in my cabin.”

Newt scowls. “I thought we discussed you digging into my mind.”

The man laughs again. “What’s the point of being a deity if I don’t have a little fun with it? Besides, you do know that you have quite interesting dreams, right?” Though the man says this lightly, as though he is merely telling another joke in which Newt is the punchline, Newt can’t help but notice the way he straightens, his sea-green eyes unable to meet Newt’s.

What is it about this dream that in particular seems to bother him so? “I was unaware,” Newt murmurs, trudging through a plot of sand. They’ve reached the beach finally, and the salty smell that eternally emanates from the tall man now fills the air, surrounding Newt. He sucks in a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut for a moment as he’s transported back to that beach, to the feel of the woman’s hand wrapped around his. Oh, how he longs for some companionship. Unfortunately, the most he’ll have for the coming week comes from this “deity”, a few fish, and an octopus, if Newt is lucky.

“That woman… this isn’t the first time she has been a part of your dreams, is it?” Newt’s lips thin as he stares at the back of the man—god—in front of him.

“Brother,” the god says, a current of command running under his tone, “I wasn’t asking an optional question. I would like a response.”

“Then I suppose you would say she is. It isn’t as if you’re blind to it. You always seem to interrupt before I can speak with her.”

The man stabs his own oar into the soft sand, surveying the crawling waves of the ocean that stretches in front of him, reaching toward the rising sun. “I know you don’t appreciate it, but it is for your own good. You understand that, right?”

Newt remains silent, passing the man, ignoring the deep tan to his skin and the sea smell drifting from him. He just strides until he reaches the edge of the ocean, until the sea laps at his toes, cleaning the sand from his bare feet.

The man sighs, “I truly mean it. There are some things you don’t want to remember.”

There’s that impatience, that anger, again, simmering, near boiling as it bubbles under his tongue, forcing him to respond. “I’d think a man should have the right to know as much about himself as pleases him.”

The man pulls his oar from the sand with a soft swoosh as the sand refills the hole left behind. He approaches Newt, stepping to his side. His voice is gentler when he next speaks. “Perhaps, but that isn’t our choice to make now, is it? What’s done is done.”

“But you could undo it,” Newt protests, knowing as he does that he will pay for the debate, “you could change this all, return what was stolen from me.”

“I cannot, and you know that. It is out of my hands.”

Newt’s mood changes swiftly, darkening like the storm clouds that seem to be building in the distance, preternaturally quickly, as though influenced by some divine force. “You could if you tried,” he still mutters, an acidic tone burning through the sound of waves.

The god, surprising Newt, just wearily shakes his head. “We’re stuck in this situation for now, no matter what you or I try to do to change it. I cannot help you even if I’d like to.”

Newt remains silent for a moment, contemplating the words. Cannot help. That’s what they all say, all of them except one.

The one he will one day be with for eternity unless his plan can be set into action.

That, though, requires surviving to the culmination, so Newt just slings his oar over his shoulder, stepping forward into the water, enjoying the cool water as it churns around his knees and thighs. “Well,” he calls to the god, “dearest Poseidon,” he spits the words down at the ocean, hoping to poison a few drops, ruin the god’s keep, “are we cleaning the ocean floor today or arguing pointless topics?”

Poseidon relaxes at this, flashing a jovial grin at Newt. “Cleaning. And I’ll let you have the filthy cloths. You know, to work on your arms.”

Newt sighs, rolling his eyes as he continues to step forward. “Fine.”

Poseidon sweeps forward, water gathering around his waist and tugging him in front of Newt. “You need to work on your traveling skills. The water won’t respond if you hate it like you seem to.”

Newt shrugs, stepping forward. The water swirls around his neck, grazing and tickling his chin as it laps past him. “I can’t expect it to respect me, can I?”

Poseidon follows Newt below water, their heads disappearing from view of the beach. “She’s a beast, but she respects those who earn it, brother. You ought not disappoint her.”

“At least she stays out of my head.”

Poseidon bursts into a laugh as they delve deeper into the dark. “True. She isn’t so meddlesome, at least, not when compared to my sister.”

“Which one?” Newt questions offhandedly, distractedly. Asking Poseidon about the other gods is sure to distract him and allow Newt to ponder the woman of his dreams. Who is she, and why is she so desperate to earn Newt’s attention? He needs the answers to these questions. The inability to recall anything, to remember the images and words locked deep within his mind drives him insane.

The only time they are released, the only time he is offered a momentary glance into the man he used to be, is during his sleep, and Merlin knows the gods take that from him as much as they are able. No, he must figure out another way to discover his past, and he must do it soon. The woman seemed impatient, worried, and if she is so rushed, then perhaps there is a reason, something the gods do not allow him to see.

As Poseidon prattles on about Athena’s latest argument with Hera, Newt reaches up. Even in the cool water of the lower ocean, the spot on his cheek is still warm.

Yes, the culmination is a week away, and when it comes, he will regain his memories.

[unifycosmos]

Best Mediation Cushion in 2019 [Review of Zabuton or Zafu Pillows]

How do I know if I need a meditation cushion? And if so, what’s the best meditation cushion for me? Is there a cushion that can help me with my meditation posture, and if so, what is it?

I am going to try out 12 different cushions for my meditation practice and let you know which one works best for me. You might be able to determine which type of cushion you’ll need, too.

We all have different body types and need support in different areas, so while I might like one best, you might find another one that suits your personal needs better.

COMPARISON TABLE – Best Mediation Cushion in 2019

Searching for the Best Meditation Cushion in 2019

After tons of research (and a lot of sitting), I have narrowed my findings down to the top 12 best meditation cushions in 2019. I’ll answer all your questions along the way. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

1. Gaiam Zafu Cushion

What I love about the Gaiam Zafu Cushion is that it’s both organic and comfortable. Another great thing about it is I can adjust the cushion if I want it more or less firm, and it’s really easy to wash. I’ve had cushions that had no way of removing the cover, or it was very difficult to do so, and this one removes very easily.

The Zafu comes in black, purple, or teal, and the filling is organic buckwheat hull. It helps support your posture and relieves pressure on the knees, ankles, and back.

Pros

It has a handle, so it’s easy to carry

Easy to wash

Firmness is adjustable

Made of organic buckwheat

Relieves pressure on knees, ankles, and back

Cons

It’s a bit heavy, weighing about 5 ½ pounds

Comes in just 3 colors

Check today’s price

2. Waterglider International Zafu Yoga Cushion

The Watercolor International Zafu Cushion is great for sitting during lengthy meditations. It’s also made with the buckwheat hulls, which feels soft and similar to a bean bag. This particular cushion is sturdy and lasts a long time.

Pros

Ethically sourced from farmers in the USA

Great for soundwave therapy

Durable

Comfortable: firm enough to keep you off the ground, and soft enough to support your joints

Cons

Not machine washable

Some report seams coming apart with prolonged usage

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3. REEHUT Zafu Yoga Cushion

I really like this meditation cushion because it’s designed for all styles and meditation postures for yoga. I keep it in my “yoga corner,” where I can sit and listen to binaural beats. It really helps me reset myself and feel more refreshed during the day.

If you are flexible, you can order the smaller sizes at 4.5” height; if you need extra support, it’s best to go for the 6” height.

Pros

Cover is easy to remove and machine washable

Great for soundwave therapy and brainwave entertainment

Very comfortable

Variety of sizes available

Cons

Construction can be an issue with prolonged usage

Colors may vary slightly from the picture

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4. Peace Yoga Zafu Cushion

The Peace Yoga Zafu cushion is very beautifully designed, and has a phenomenal balance of pliability and firmness. As a bonus, this cushion can double as a yoga block, which makes it really helpful for stretching. That’s a really great way to save on yoga accessories.

Pros

Beautiful Designs

Dual purpose as a yoga block

Machine washable

Cons

The zipper can become an issue with prolonged usage

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5. Yoga Accessories Round Zafu Cushion for Meditation

If color is your thing, I’d go with the Yoga Accessories Round Zafu cushion. There are 18 different designs, all of which are very unique. It’s also listed at a lower price point, which can be helpful for many people.

Pros

Many varieties of colors and designs

Priced lower

Choice between silk or cotton for outer layer

Choice between round or crescent shape

Cons

Height can shrink over prolonged use

Is too firm for some

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6. Bean Products Zafu and Zabuton Meditation cushion Set

The Zafu and Zabuton meditation cushion set is just what you need to get into the ideal position for meditation. The combination of the small Zafu cushion and the larger Zabuton mat gives you all the space and support for maximum relaxation.

You can mix and match the Zafu and Zabuton meditation set however you like. There’s a broad range of colors to choose from, including black, white, navy, green, purple, burgundy, and many shades between.

The Zafu cushion comes in 14” and 18” sizes. Since the cushions are not sewn together, you can use either individually or as a set.

For an all-in-one solution, the Zafu and Zabuton Meditation cushion set is one of the best mediation cushion options around.

Pros

Two pieces for use separately or in conjunction

Wide range of colors

Comfortable bean filling that can be replaced when necessary

Great customization options

Cons

Difficult, if not impossible, to wash

Zabuton cushion can be firm, which may not suit some people

Check today’s price

7. Gaiam Meditation Cushion Zabuton

The Gaiam Zabuton meditation cushion is an affordable way to get started. Measuring 36”Lx24”Wx4” thick, it comes in three colors — black, purple, and teal.

This meditation cushion is light, comfortable, and properly aligned. It provides correct support for your knees, ankles and back, and can be combined with a Zafu cushion for maximum effect.

The body forming cotton baffing can be easily removed to wash the outer casing. Simply unzip, unpack, and throw the casing in the washing machine.

Pros

Comfortable body-forming cotton filling

Provides good support

Affordable entry-level Zabuton cushion

Cons

You might need to shell out extra for a Zafu cushion

Cotton filling can get lumpy and deflated after repeated use

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8. Zenjara Zafu Yoga Meditation Cushion

The Zenjara Zafu meditation cushion is an excellent option for those who don’t need a Zabuton — or who have one and want a Zafu for extra support.

Zenjara’s meditation cushion offering comes in three colors — blush pink, cloud grey, and sea green. It’s approximately 13” in diameter, with adjustable height.

The cushion contains an inner cushion stuffed with buckwheat. By removing filling from the inner cushion, you can adjust the height and firmness of the Zafu meditation cushion to suit your needs.

Unlike many meditation cushions, Zenjara has sewn an attractive, relaxing design into the cushion to add style to your meditation sessions.

Pros

Adjustable sizing to suit your needs

Textured cushion for style and comfort

Convenient carry handle

Affordable

Cons

Emptying and refilling the inner bag can be messy

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9. Tibetan Singing Bowl Set with Meditation Cushion

Nothing quite sets the mood like a traditional Tibetan singing bowl. The soothing tones are perfect for cutting out distractions and focusing on finding your peace.

This set comes with the bowl, dual surface mallet, and silk resting cushion. You can choose between black, brown, white and bronze colors. Each colored bowl comes with a different style of cushion to match.

The included mallet allows for hard strikes or softer ringing. To make the bowl sing, simple rub the mallet around the outer lip of the bowl. Faster turns produce higher tones, while slower circles produce lower tones.

Pros

Sets the mood for relaxation and meditation

Makes a beautiful decorative piece when not in use

Four different designs

Cons

Some buyers have had issues getting their bowls to “sing”

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10. Zafuko Yoga, Meditation, Kundalini and Pilates Cushion

If round Zafu cushions aren’t your style, this Zafuko meditation cushion might be what you’re after. Swapping the usual cylindrical shape for a box rectangle, the Zafuko Zafu pillow is a versatile tool to have.

Measuring 14″ x 7″ x 5, the Zafuko is compact and weighs just 1.2 pounds. I found it to be just as useful as a cushion as it as a block, pillow, or even a bolster. While it didn’t provide any relief for knees, it was simple enough to choose a sitting position to work around it.

The Zafuko meditation cushion comes in a wide variety of colors and styles, such as black and red, cherry peach, deep blue sea, green and violet, and much more.

This cushion is very eco-friendly, filled with 100% Kapok. Kapok is also known as silk cotton or Java cotton — a hygienic, vegan, hypoallergenic material that provides maximum support and comfort.

Pros

Small and easy to carry

Versatile

Comes in a wide range of attractive colors and styles

Cons

Filling can’t be removed for washing

May limit some available poses if used on its own with sore knees

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11. Leewadee Meditation Set: Zafu Cushion, Zabuton Mat

Leewadee’s meditation set is another 2-in-1 deal: both a Zafu cushion and Zabuton mat in one package, which can be used separately or together.

I found the double sets to be the best meditation cushion options for me, as it creates a harmonious esthetic for me to relax in. This set come in a variety of colors, such as orange, black, and blue. My personal choice was the Sky Blue.

This set does leave out some features you can find when buying items individually, though — like adjustable heights and firmness. Some may find the set a bit too firm for their backs for daily use.

Pros

Attractive, unified designs

Convenient all-in-one set

Provides great support

Cons

May be too firm for regular use for some people

Some smaller users may find the Zafu cushion too high

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12. DharmaObjects Traditional Tibetan Yoga Meditation Cushion

Rounding off the list is a traditional Tibetan meditation cushion from DharmaObjects. This Zabuton mat is an affordable, entry-level mat sure to provide much value.

My favorite thing about this mat is that it can fold in half to go from a Zabuton mat to a Zafu cushion depending on your needs. It provides all of the same versatile use of the Zafuko rectangular cushion above, but with the added use of a laid-out mat.

There are many colors and styles available, including black, blue, orange, yellow, purple, and various shades of each.

Pros

Versatile — great for meditation, yoga, or a support block

Lightweight and easy to carry

Attractive styles

Cons

Lacks the all-in-one convenience of sets

Check today’s price

Why do I need a meditation cushion?

A meditation cushion is paramount to spinal support. When we meditate, we often “go” to a different place, and we can lose focus on our posture. With the exception of a few types of meditation, zazen included, which train us to focus on the posture throughout the duration of the meditation, it’s really helpful to have some extra support.

If you’re practicing brain entrainment or listening to binaural beats, it’s especially helpful to use a cushion so that your focus is entirely on the meditation itself, and not on your back or knees.

The last thing you want while meditating is an ache that makes you interrupt your meditation, or worse, a numb foot that distracts you until it “comes back to life.”

How do I choose the best meditation cushion?

It’s always important to choose based on your body structure. Some cushions run a little larger or smaller, may have a different type of filling, or added structural differences to stand out from the crowd.

The best question you can ask yourself is how much support you think you’ll need. Some of us do great with a basic cushion with relatively little support, because they are able to sit straighter with just this quality.

Others need a cushion that’s almost in the shape of a chair in order to guarantee the best support. This can be a great option for those who they feel tired often, or for those who are new to meditating.

Check in with yourself and be honest – which shape suits you best?

Which Style Cushion is Best: Zabuton, Buckwheat Hulls, Kapok Fiber, or Zafu?

The Zafu cushions are great for holding postures, however if you need some extra cushion below the knees (or you have cold floors), you’ll want to add in a Zabuton cushion as well.

Zafu cushions aren’t for everyone. If you’ve never meditated using them before, you may find them small and uncomfortable. They aren’t meant as chairs; they’re meant to give extra joint and spinal support. So if you’re going for comfort, try adding on the Zabuton cushion.

Zabuton cushions are larger and square, and most people can sit comfortably on them. Zabuton cushions do not provide elevation like the Zafu cushions do.

Buckwheat hulled cushions are those that are filled with buckwheat. It’s an organic material that can give off a kind of “bean bag” feel, which helps relieve pressure on the joints and is more comfortable for some people. These are less firm than cotton filled cushions.

Kapok fiber is another filling for the Zafu cushions, which give off more of a soft and spongy feeling. It’s similar to cotton and can mold to your body. Some people don’t like the faint smell of the organic material.

Color Meanings

When looking for the best meditation cushion for you, you may want to look at colors. Whether you’re personally drawn to one color or another can say a lot about you.

For example, red can lift you up and generate energy, whereas orange can help bring on healing properties.

Black tends to draw the focus inwards, and violet give a feeling of calmness and balance. Green promotes a balanced feeling while slowing down the mind and breath.

There’s no wrong color to choose when it comes to your meditation cushion. Simply choose which one is best for you!

Frequently Asked Questions about Meditation Pillows

How can I clean my cushion?

While each cushion has different cleaning instructions, many of them have a removable cover.

If it does, you can unzip and remove the cover, turn inside out, and machine wash cold with the gentle cycle. Air dry to prevent shrinkage. As always, please read the cleaning instructions.

How can I remove the smell?

While it’s possible that your cushion will have a light odor, this will fade over time. If you have a cushion that has a washable cover, you can wash that out a few times to speed up the process.

It can also be helpful to air it out outside for a day or two if you’re really sensitive.

Can my kid use a meditation cushion?

Yes! Meditation cushions are great for all ages, and can benefit kids as well!

It helps them retain good posture while sitting, reducing the problems they may create for themselves if they aren’t using one.

Can a meditation cushion be used for other activities as well?

Sure! You can use your meditation when drawing, reading, knitting, watching movies, playing with pets or kids on the floor, or even when eating at a low table.

Is there a height and weight restriction?

While every cushion has a different weight limit, the weight limits are hard to reach.

What about mites or pest?

We carefully selected cushions that have a great reputation. 99.9% of the time, you won’t find any issues with pests or mites.

If they are found, please notify the manufacture and dispose of immediately. You’ll be issued a refund right away.

Can I use my meditation cushion with brain entrainment programs?

Absolutely! Brain entrainment programs are enhanced with cushions as they allow the body to deeply relax while staying in an aligned posture. This reduces aches and pains that generally come with sitting for long spurts of meditation.

Our honest opinion about a Meditation Cushion

When you’re meditating, using cushions is really great, whether you’re taking a yoga class, meditating at home, or even listening to binaural beats in your meditation corner. I use mine daily and I can’t recommend it highly enough.

I don’t have to focus on holding my posture a certain way, or making sure my feet, knees, and hips are in alignment because the cushion does it for me. I can focus only on the meditation without any distractions.

I definitely recommend having at least one cushion to meditate on.