#its time again for me to rant abt my hyperfixation medias

[angerofangels]

The Narrator was not an asshole at the start like he was kinda sweet. He hated his job, he hated the apathy which everyone else at the company had with regards to letting people die for capitalism. He practiced things in his head before speaking to people like his little comment about "single use friend". Narrator came up with that because he was bored and lonely so he had to keep himself occupied. Or when Marla noticed his words to her seemed practiced. He just spent a lot of time alone ok!

And then Tyler comes in and makes fun of him for it and he laughs it off like haha yeah that was stupid but already from the first (second in the book) meeting Tyler is being a shitty friend. The Narrator accepts it because he has poor self esteem and craves to be made into the likeness of something else by the first person to just listen to him.

The course of the story was supposed to be Narrator discovering the support groups, learning to express his pain healthily by crying and then meeting Marla and no longer being alone, eventually healing. Tyler ruined all of that by taking him down the path of catharsis via inflicting pain on others and isolating yourself. It wasn't Marla it was Tyler who ruined everything.

Something that kills me about fight club is that all my fave things from a period of time reflect me at that time and my mindstate. I remember being the Narrator I remember feeling disconnected and depressed and looking for catharsis. I remember the weird awkward person I became from spending so much time alone and I remember wishing for some charasmatic person to come along and change all that. God. He was desparate guys. Tyler took advantage of him because he was desparate.

[431989]

okay fuck it we ball im posting resident alien stuff here. hyperfixation time. spoilers below so be warned.

im sooo bummed over the recent ep. the gripe i have w every single piece of media happened agaiiinnnnn. can i have ONE thing that doesnt force relationship arcs. especially ones that dont fit the initial or continuing tone of the shoooow. <--- edit again to clarify. i loved the tone of s1. i want that back. its getting too comedyish.

like i rlly connected w harry esp the fact he wasnt really getting infatuated with anyone but this whole horned up episode was grating to watch. like i still think there were sweet moments but boooo 🍅💥🍅💥 im hoping its just for some sort of conflict and that itll get squashed come the next few eps. (ALSO EDIT: at least the thing with harry and isabelle was palatable. gahhh im just peeved….)

s1 was so baller too like it had good clever comedy and still had drama to it. like im hoping the very like… bland surface level humor gets dialed back. like its soooo forced to me. but i guess thats what the average viewer likes which is dog doodoo. dont make it a sitcom please im begging. it was soooo unique.

i will be rewatching season 1 for the 5th time tonight but another thing i noticed is the increased use of like… musical scores. its like one step removed from a laugh track. gahh.

anyways im a harry asta supporter also harry joseph supporter so this forced stuff hurts to watch esp bc it doesnt fit character to me. considering harrys whole thing so far has been about developing and realizing connections, the sudden shift to horniness just! isnt consistent. not to be autistic or anything haha.

speaking of! i think its boring and cheap to have this alien/alien thing going on. and also feels really like.. “nd people can never fit in so they have to be with other nd people.” i think i wouldnt be so turned away if it was more genuine. but this is a comedy ig, i just wish it was handled differently. its uninteresting to meeeee. like an alien/alien thing can work but not like this. gives very nd are forever seen as weird and are therefor ostracized. like it feels othering to me. ESP BC OF HOW FORCED UGHHHHHHH i hate forced romance shit so much. perhaps thats an unpopular take but i said what i said! sudden nonmeaningful stuff like this i feel will kill the show. i wouldnt be surprised if it fizzles out.

UM ALSO? tudyk bringing up shape of water on insta abt the newest ep????? i dont think so???????? i never watched that but i kind of know what it was about and it certainly wasnt fish on fish love. smdh. like i feel like the reason why it was so big when it came out was (albeit as someone who hasnt watched it and have surface level understanding) bc it was between a lady and fish guy. and it was heartfelt. not to be harry asta or anything but that was already developing so like. AGHHHUU. even a harry joseph dynamic i can get around in a way bc theres room for development. also itd be gay so thats a plus.

anyways i might check out the graphic novels. told myself i wouldnt bc my brain works weird but maybe itd be a good idea to get into that. unfortunately i will probably be begrudgingly keeping up bc im hyperfixated on it. GAHHHGG anyways ramble rant over.

edit ps: i will also clarify that if asta were to be written out to be nd i would be just as pleased if not more pleased. im just not liking how this is going so far. tomato tomato tomato

[rv2xlga]

im back to rant. persona is such a disease

im so going through it again and yall know what that means, for some odd reason nothing can ever stick to my brain after i got into persona? this is a literal disease shuake means SO MUCH to me

i know they aren’t original or anything but something about them is soo special to me, they remind me a lot of the things that i miss and make me nostalgic about those particular things. i think the way their connection is and how personal goro’s character is to me is just like insane to see because i can really place a lot of aspects of my life onto both of them, even the good and the bad and i can always feel comfortable lol

i wish we had more scenes with them and i wish i could experience p5r for the first time again just for them, they truly are so special to me ive even been considering buying the og on the ps4 due to how much i just love them it’s insane cuz nothing else has ever felt the same and ive never loved something so deeply for a long time like this even with anything and everything like cardcaptor and how much i LOVED phoenix lmao, the love i feel for shuake is like me experiencing a constant hyperfixation and im able to just feel so deeply for so long yk? i love them

ive been wanting to get back into writing fanfics again but i cant seem to find the words as the memories just slip through my head. i love the way their connection just is even the to way that it focuses so much on them as individual characters like akechi for example, it isnt at all canonically but it works in a way that one can interpret their connection and such to dive deeper into their plotlines and how all that trauma has continued to affect them even now. like akechi and his bpd and just overall denial of a lot of the things around him, that core idea that fit into so many things and endlessly i can headcanon so much just for his character as like wow. the bad writing here✨ but fr tho lol the lack of character for him helps a lot and as much as i wish they gave him more than what he got, i love using him and akira’s characters as projection dolls its like everything to me, one of my favorite parts of bad media actually lmao

i love akira’s character too even if i dont talk about him as much, i got into persona due to him so he truly means a lot to me. i love viewing him like if he actually would’ve had an established personality of his own and how that also affects his worldview and their connection. the mutual toxicity between them and how they respectively view the world and people around is like UGH i love them! i love all the religious little allegories there i love all the mental illnesses they represent like UGHH i love them and i hate how i cant articulate my words for them properly it makes me so!!! but whatever rant is rant lmao

ill be probably posting fic stuff on here soon, i rly miss writing fanfics and im probably going to impulsively replay the game and q2 soon but we’ll see abt that cuz i always say that oml 😭 anywayss i love shuake sigh what a world