#ive cried enough already during the past 3 days i was stuck in bed too depressed to do anything else

[satiricaily]

crazy thing abt life is u can have bad day on top of bad day for two weeks nonstop but at the end ur still gonna be writing that exam and attend those driving lessons and permit exam and prepare for that end of year finals and whatever the fuck else bullshit u need to do so like whatever. the bigger picture will never give a shit anyways i just literally need to go through it no other option

[morganas-pendragons]

3| T.S.

I’m supposed to be writing a paper, here I am writing more for Endgame. I needed this - It’s my only way of coping. Thank you for the feedback, and enjoy!

CONTAINS ENDGAME SPOILERS - I WILL FIGHT FOR TONY STARKS RIGHT TO BE LOVED UNTIL I AM DEAD

Tag: @robertdownyjrs

***

  “When I come back, you better be here.” His words are spoken with fervor, a desperate promise that he needs you to be able to fulfill. You are the only person in Tony Starks life who has been there since the start, the only one who stayed, and the one he vowed to spend the rest of his life with. 

You have to be there when he comes back from Titan, because he might literally call it quits if you aren’t. You have to. 

Your reply comes in a searing kiss that quite literally makes him weak in the knees. “I already told you, you idiot.” You whisper as you force yourself away from him, lips hovering over his own so closely that he almost wants to take you right then and there. “I love you too much to leave.” 

And unfortunately, he loves you too much to stay, and that is what prompts him to board the ship that will take him to Titan. 

Given what happened during the Civi War between your fiancé and Steve Rogers, you’d give anything to be with him on Titan instead of protecting the outskirts of Wakanda. Steve has vowed to look after you - whatever that means - and somehow lost track of you after the battle, completely oblivious to the fact that you decided to remain with Thor. You and Thor had grown rather close over the last 8 years and often spent time training together when he came to Earth because of the similarities with your powers. 

Your darker nights, the ones where you cried until you couldn’t anymore, were spent in the safety of Thor’s bedroom at the Avengers Compound. Steve still fulfilled his duties and checked in on you just as he had promised he would, but he never went further than that. The man knew you didn’t trust him, and with good reason. 

It’s mere days after the Snap that you feel it, the tremble beneath your feet as you indulge Thor by telling him stories about your life. It distracts you from the lack of Tonys presence, and it distracts him from wallowing in his misery brought upon by the losses he’d endured. 

  “Y/N!” Your gaze flickers upward as Steve sprints into the room and urges you out the bedroom door to the main yard, where a massive ship is being carried by a glowing woman who you are unfamiliar with. She sets it down with ease and meets your gaze, and you give her a firm nod in thanks. 

The hangar door opens, and all the blood drains from your face. The air crackles with static electricity from where you stand before Steve, Natasha, Bruce and Rhodes, completely paralyzed as you watch the occupants of the Benatar file off into the open night. 

Your eyes flutter shut as you resist the urge to sprint across the clearing and jump into his arms. It’s something you’ve had to learn to control, but just seeing Tony standing there actually speaking to Steve sparks something deep within you that urges you forward and across the clearing. 

  “Y/N?” 

Aching arms fling outward to envelop Tony Stark in the most bone crushing hug he’s ever experienced, and it takes all of his willpower not to crumble in your embrace as you whisper in his ear. “Home. Home. Home.” His hands sink into the tresses of your hair, breath ghosting over your skin as he hides his face in the crook of your shoulder. 

The other Avengers don’t bother to pry the two of you apart, not after what you’ve been through. There was no possible way of moving through the despair and anguish without people. Or more specifically, the people you love. 

  “When you need an anchor, you count to three.” In the midst of Tony learning to deal with his anxiety, you’d given him a solution. Of course it had come in the most unconventional way - seated at the bar - and drunk enough to make your head spin. But he was here, warm and alive, and so very... very real. “Count five things about me. Anything goes. Physical traits, things you love about me, things I’ve taught you. If it helps you cope with whatever is plaguing that beautiful mind of yours..” Your fingers curled around the curve of his jaw and brought his eyes up to yours, thumb dragging across the apple of his cheek to settle in the divot of his lips. “You do whatever it takes.” 

  “One, hands that have held my heart since the day you stumbled on my front porch when I was 7 years old.” 

He tries to make nice with Steve, he really does. But after being left for dead in Siberia and alone in the fight against Thanos, Tony holds a considerable amount of resentment for that very same man who had once said that if they were to lose, they’d do that together too. 

You’re always lingering in his line of sight when things go awry, and just as he suspects, you are immediately at his side when he rips the IV from his arm and stumbles in Steves direction. Fury courses through his blood and despite the fact there are stars dancing behind his eyes, Tony still rips out his arc reactor and slams it into the hands of Steve Rogers. 

It’s only when his knees give out from beneath him and he lands on the floor that the second thought comes, when he looks up into your eyes and sees the terror lurking within them just before he slips into unconsciousness.

  “Two, even when I am least deserving, you are always there. Always lingering for that moment when I need you most desperately, and present when I fall to my knees.” 

Recovery is never easy, but having someone there when you wake up makes it just a bit more bearable. 

Shaking fingers extend outward as Tonys eyes slowly flutter open, blinded by the light of dawn as he struggles to adjust to the brightness. His eyes follow the billow of the curtains at the open windows and slowly travel the length of the incredibly bland medical wing up until he catches the TV - where his favorite TV show is softly playing in the background. 

His fingers tighten in the mess of hair laying limply at his bedside. You sleep at Tonys side with your hand loosely wrapped around his calf, almost as if its your only security that he’ll be there when you wake up. Eyes drift over the curve of your parted lips, breaths coming slow and steady. Tony hasn’t seen you sleep so hard since you were younger. 

When life was a little bit easier. 

  “Y/N?” His voice rumbles low in his chest, and its enough to jolt you upward at the sound. Tony nearly topples over the side of the bed because his hands are still tangled in your hair, and the sight of the shock written all over his expression is enough to send you into a fit of laughter. “That was not funny-” 

Your eyes soften as they meet his. “I have never been so happy to see your eyes open in the forty some years we’ve known each other.” You whisper. He can see the reluctance to open up when you dip your head toward your chest, extending your hand outward into the open in hopes he will oblige and take it. 

He does. 

  “I nearly lost you, Tony. All this time after Thanos snapped.. I really believed you were dead. And do you know how disheartening it is to be stuck in another country with people you once called family, left behind by your husband with your only company being the God of Thunder?” You settle a knee into the mattress and bring yourself up to hover over him as he lays supine beneath you. “Seeing everyone disappear, screaming so loudly to someone who might hear me to keep you safe.. I have never experienced true fear like that. Fear of believing that you would never come home.” 

That’s when thought number three comes. Trapped in the cage of your arms, breath ghosting over his face and sunshine reflecting in your eyes. He realizes right there, in that moment of silence, that your presence is the only home he has ever known. 

And that despite your darkness and your regrets, despite his failures to both you and the greater good, you will never part from his side willingly. You are here and real and you are never leaving. It’s the best freakin’ news he’s heard all day. 

  “Y/N, I need-” 

  “What do you need?” 

Tony swallows the knot in his throat and lets his tongue dart out to wet the cracked flesh of his lips. “I need you to kiss me.” It’s spoken with the same desperation you heard before he boarded his ship for Titan. That same desperation that pours from your own mouth when he tries stumbling down a path you can’t follow him on. “Please.” 

It’s hard to pick a word to describe that moment - that moment of solitude where it’s nothing but you and him. How you succumb to his desires and lower yourself on top of him, careful of aggravating his injuries. He arches his back into you as you claim his mouth with your own. Hot, heavy, full of need and the ability to convey the fierce loyalty the two of you held for one another since the day you’d met as young children. 

  “What about you?” 

  “What about me?” 

Tony swirls a single finger around the rim of his glass as you pour yourself another. “Whenever you need a anchor, what will you count to?” You believe he thinks something absolutely ridiculous, like 72 or 191. Something completely unrelated to what you’ve just said. 

  “I’ll count to three too, but for me it’ll be in the moments we pull together instead of apart. When I need you the most.. when I need to breathe, I’ll count to three.” 

His tongue breaks past the seam of your lips and his hands tangle in your hair, and if you listen quietly enough, you can hear someone whimper. You don’t know if it’s him or you. 

It’s only when you are forced to pull apart for air that you whisper, “Three.” 

[noahhernandez]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Kenny 2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy around people I’m not too familiar with in intimate spaces/events. But like at work I can talk to a huge crowd of people at one time and not even care 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? The cashier at any nearby fast food restaurant and kenny 4. Are you easy to get alone with? along with no alone with no im not a hoe 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Um, I’m not sure 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? rich ones. 7. Do you think you'll be in a relationship two months from now? That’s a tough question. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? idk angel and brit 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Yes lmao. 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? fuck um idk deep like how ?? sharon angel and I are discussing Ware’s father in the hospital 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? You should [drink] but only if you stay at your cousins 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? hm. Woke the Fuck Up, Mercy, Side to Side, ????? idk i need a radio on rn 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? I guess, but I have little bit of hair 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? not really  15. What good thing happened this summer? I didnt die 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes  17. Do you think there is life on other planets? yes  18. Do you still talk to your first crush? who is that 19. Do you like bubble baths? too tall for a damn bath 20. Do you like your neighbors? ive never met them 21. What are you bad habits? Smoking 22. Where would you like to travel? new york and the europe-y area 23. Do you have trust issues? Yes 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? going to sleep 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? All of it 26. What do you do when you wake up? immediately check the time to make sure i’m not late for work 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? a little darker because I dont like people thinking i’m white because I am latino!!!! 28. Who are you most comfortable around? Michelle, Brit, Angel, Brianna, Keyla, Peter,  Alosa!  29. Have any of your ex's told you they regret breaking up? hmm yes but i do not care 30. Do you ever want to get married? Not really no 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? no 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Shawn Mendes and Ryan Reynolds  33. Spell your name with your chin. no 34. Do you play sports? What sports? hahah 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV, i mean i basically do now 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? um probably 37. What do you say during awkward silences? smile and leave 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? $$$ 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? anything  40. What do you want to do after high school? Well considering I already graduated. My original plans were to go to UNT but I am stuck in Houston going to school here renting out a decent apartment and working my ass off to eat some pizza. really i like it though 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depending on the person and the situation 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m thinking- which probably has me being anxious  43. Do you smile at strangers? of course 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? space has more of a view 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? money 46. What are you paranoid about? not being good enough 47. Have you ever been high? one time i threw up because i was so high 48. Have you ever been drunk? one time I threw up because i was so drunk 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about no 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? red 51. Ever wished you were someone else? no 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my teeth 53. Favourite makeup brand? no 54. Favourite store? mcdonalds 55. Favourite blog? me 56. Favourite colour? black  57. Favourite food? anything chinese 58. Last thing you ate? a breakfast burrito 59. First thing you ate this morning? a breakfast burrito 60. Ever won a competition? For what? play competitions 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? no 62. Been arrested? For what? nah 63. Ever been in love? no 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? i don;t  like it !! it was in the boys locker room 65. Are you hungry right now? starving 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? dont hav ne  67. Facebook or Twitter? twitter 68. Twitter or Tumblr? twitter 69. Are you watching tv right now? no 70. Names of your bestfriends? god. Michelle, Brianna, Brit, Peter, Keyla, Angel, Sharon, Alisa, my brothers and sisters. 71. Craving something? What? Wings. 72. What colour are your towels? all of the colors 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2  73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? zero 75. Favourite animal? sloth 76. What colour is your underwear? grey  77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? i dont like ice cream 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? black 80. What colour pants? grey sweats  81. Favourite tv show? greys ? 82. Favourite movie? Scream 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls  84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? ??? This a mean girls questionaire um idk gretchen  86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? dont like that 87. First person you talked to today? Kenny 88. Last person you talked to today? Lsat person texted me wwas Kenny 89. Name a person you hate?  ! Ryan from work who got fired for stealing 90. Name a person you love? me 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? idk no 92. In a fight with someone? no lol 93. How many sweatpants do you have? like 3 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? like 2 95. Last movie you watched? ... hmm I can not remember 96. Favourite actress? not Jennifer Lawrence fuck her 97. Favourite actor? no 98. Do you tan a lot? no  99. Have any pets?  no 100. How are you feeling? exhausted 101. Do you type fast? sure  102. Do you regret anything from your past? being annoying 103. Can you spell well? yes 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? not at all  105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yeah they r cool i guess 106. Ever broken someone's heart? no  107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes  108. What should you be doing? eating or sleeping 109. Is something irritating you right now? im hungry 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? no wtf yes lmao 111. Do you have trust issues? YES u asked this 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Brittney because our friend Darrell tried to kill himself 113. What was your childhood nickname? it is still Noahita 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes fun cool 115. Do you play the Wii? for my netflix yes 116. Are you listening to music right now? nothing i forgot to put more music on 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? what a very specific question bc i recently told someone I hate chicken noodle soup 118. Do you like Chinese food? omg yes 119. Favourite book? Freedom Writers  120. Are you afraid of the dark? not really 121. Are you mean? lol yes  122. Is cheating ever okay? Is my boyfriend gonna find out im just kidding no 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? no thats why i wear black shoes 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no  125. Do you believe in true love? sure 126. Are you currently bored? bored 127. What makes you happy? sleeping 128. Would you change your name? Eli Ian  129. What your zodiac sign? libra 130. Do you like subway? its ok 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? u literally know im gay 132. Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with? u asked i said idk 133. Favourite lyrics right now? no 134. Can you count to one million? im not going to 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I was on a date with a boy who was being really boring and I told him I had to leave because I had to go take my brother to the mall so we could buy funeral clothes 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? both i guess 137. How tall are you? five ten and a half   138. Curly or Straight hair? wavy now 139. Brunette or Blonde? black hair 140. Summer or Winter? fall 141. Night or Day? night 142. Favourite month? october 143. Are you a vegetarian? fuck no 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk 145. Tea or Coffee? coffee 146. Was today a good day? it was alright 147. Mars or Snickers? snickers 148. What's your favourite quote? nothing 149. Do you believe in ghosts? yes