#ive had her since high school and ive done so much in here. we've been through so much together

[screamingay]

the bond between a girl and his beat up shitty old first car is truly so special

[desultory-suggestions]

TW: DISORDERED EATING

sorry this is super long and rambling.

when i was in high school i had an eating disorder. it was never bad enough that i needed to be hospitalized or anything but when people around me noticed something was wrong, i started seeing a dietician to get back on track. it was so hard but i was surrounded by so many supportive friends, including a friend we'll call "emma".

this was about 4 years ago now and i am making good steps in recovery but i still struggle sometimes. this hasn't been helped by "emma", who decided she wanted to lose weight. she's always had poor self esteem because of her weight and hoped it would make her feel better about herself. she's lost a lot of weight but she won't stop talking about weight loss and calories. its got to the point where she tells me the calories in the foods i eat, and its starting to impact on my recovery. ive started relapsing but I don't want to bring it up with her because she gets really angry whenever she thinks someone is criticising her. we've been friends since we were 7 and i don't want to destroy our friendship over this. im not sure if im being a dick here because i want to be happy for her but instead im really angry and hurt because she used to be so supportive of my recovery but now she doesn't seem to realise how she's effecting me. im basically not sure if i should talk to her about it, or just try to ignore it.

Hello, deary! Thank you for your patience while you waited for this answer, I know it can feel frustrating when I take a long time, so for every person who waits kindly I’m sending so much love! I’m sorry to hear that you have been struggling with an eating disorder, but I am so glad you are receiving the help you deserve. It can be hard to accept the help, but it’s worth it. To be honest it sounds like she is struggling so much with her own body image and disordered eating that she doesn’t even realize how she is affecting you. But the fact is she has to learn to be aware of how her behavior affects others. Calorie counting like that is awful, I am deeply concerned that she knows so easily the content of each food. I think it is best to speak to her about it. I personally have relatively strict rules about food talk. I will never talk about the calorie content of food unless it’s a debate of the usefulness/science behind it. I also ask that no one comments on how much, how little, how fast, how slow, or anything about how I eat. This really helps me prevent relapse, and most people respect it easily. I also urge you to let her know that much of this is triggering because it’s disordered behavior. Losing weight is fine! And it can be done healthily, but this isn’t it.  Stay safe!

-Evan