#ive literally only been listening to mitski for...weeks now

[codiciarr]

so ill be the loser in this game / ill be the bad guy in the play

[saintobio]

my first ask ( aaaaaa :D )!!

firstly, thank you so much for a great chapter this week, and all the chapters you’ve given us prior. you said you’re not satisfied with your writing, but your story may be one of the best ive ever read. up until i came across SN, i had never found a good chaptered x reader that interested me like SN did ( and im a pretty picky reader lmao ). so, even if you doubt yourself, i ( and im sure lots of others do ) think your writing is amazing.

secondly, ive thought about this for a while, but there’s certain songs i associate with SN and it’s characters now! recently, ive really been associating the song “Dark Red” by Steve Lacy with SN gojo and his feelings towards yn. especially the chorus : “Don't you give me up, please don't give up on me, I belong, with you, and only you, baby. only you, my girl, only you, babe x3, only you, darling, only you”. the fact that gojo practically says this to yn in the new chapter too ): . the song in its entirety describes his emotions towards his wife perfectly, but those lines in particular spoke to me the most ( you should listen to the song if you haven’t before. it’s been on tiktok a lot recently, so u may have already heard it!). another song i associate with SN is “Cameras/Good Ones Go” by Drake, which also has something to do with gojo lol. when it comes to “cameras”, i envision gojo saying the lyrics to sera (i thought about this long before he'd broken things off with her). like hes trying to console her. the lyrics, "Baby girl you need to stop it all that pride and self esteem got you angry about this girl I'm with in all them magazines” , “it looks like we’re in love but only on camera” give me flashbacks to when gojo was actually in love with sera, and made promises to leave his wife for her. after all, it was all supposed to be for show ( for the “cameras” when put in perspective of the song ) but that’s not the case now. for the second song, “good ones go”, I loosely connected it to gojo and yn, and I think the title is pretty self explanatory as to why asjdj. there’s a couple of other songs, but another main one is “Come into the water” by Mitski which I associate with yn and gojo. don’t worry, i won’t go into a full on analysis LMAOSOS but if you’re curious as to why, you should listen to the song and ALSOO look at the meaning of it :D

once again, thank you so much for this weeks chapter and your hard work. i know you get lots of asks as soon as your box opens ( I mean, here i am LMAO ), and i wont mind if you cant get to mine!! i hope you aren’t feeling too overwhelmed especially since you’ve been on such a consistent updating schedule. i also hope you’re taking care of yourself and your physical as well as mental well-being. supporting you always! <3

long compilation below

Anonymous said

I KNEW IT SMH I KNEW SHE WAS CRAZY. AND FUCK YUUTA CAUSE HE SHOULDA SAID SOMETHJNG.

But anyways...

The way that sera rly just cannot keep yn out her mouth 😒 and atp she just needs to start paying taxes on it. like its too expensive to just be tossed around like that babe🙄☝🏾 I feel like for someone "broke" she sure is worried about everything BUT getting her own money. And thats another thing.... SHES NOT BROKE FR. SHES JUST NORMAL. IDK WHY SHES SO PRESSED ABOUT IT. Idk if cursing yn is rly gonna get u more gains but whatever

I felt yn in this chapter tho cause I am so weak when it comes to emotions. Like if my mind was made up and then he goes and does that I would not know what to do. Cause like you did all this shit but at the same time youre dealing with your own shit. I just think it was unfair to yn.

Lastly eucalyptus can die in a hole cause who does that to an old woman. And so can gojos dad cause he's old and probably smells like someone tried to spray expensive cologne over a fart cloud😖

I get so sad whenever a chapter ends cause I wanna read more😭😭Im so impatient but it's literally worth the wait. Love your writing bae keep up the good work but only after you catch up on the zzs💗

@girlruby23 said

FINALLY GOT TO AN OPEN ASK😭

SAINT ITS BEEN THAT I WANT TO APPRECIATE YOUR WRITING.. YOUR WORK IS ASTOUNDING AND IT GIVES ME CHILLS EVERYTIME I READ IT .SN is one of the highlight of my week(sry for all caps, those are just my emotions) i had a question that i asked before but maybe it didnt reach you.

Do you believe in foreshadowing, have you foreshadowed something in any chapters that someone caught on perfectly?

Also sry im asking again but how many chapters are there for S1?

Also saint please take care. I know youve had a rough week with your health issues. So look after yourself. LOTS OF LOVE ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@oikawaandkuroostan said

A wonderful chapter, once again. Just, wow.

I am so amazed once again by how you portrayed Gojo and Y/N's changing dynamic, as well as adding the childhood flashbacks to show how connected they were.

TW for mention of abuse and violence below:

I was truly heartbroken to see when Gojo was begging for Y/N to hit him and scream at him. I know it was written in the story about how shocked y/n was when she realized how he was willing to subject himself to the abuse. Like, oh my god, it really hit me hard. I know we see that trope in a lot of media where men will say they're willing to subject themselves to the abuse of their partners just to get them to stay, but I don't think we realized how truly sad that is. And for Gojo, someone who was subjected to violence by his father, it's really sad. It's so sad to see how he believes this is what he needs to do just to keep people around.

And when his father beat him in the hospital? God, I knew it would happen, but I was still shocked. I'm just shocked by how horrible his family has hurt him throughout his life.

And Eula? Damn, I'm so upset. I had a sinking feeling she would do what she did, but her thought process? The whole "if she goes down, her family goes down" mentality? That's so scary and it goes to show the depths of how wretched she is (as well as how bad Sera could be). It's awful, because she's truly selfish. I thought she cared about her son and providing him with the tools, while she could benefit from him, but now I see she really doesn't care about anyone but herself. At least she recognizes that she's Gojo Sr.'s "karma".

Anyway, thank you again for such a well written chapter, you really had my attention all the way through. I'm always a fan, and you really inspire me in how I want to write.

Please make sure you take care of yourself, though, we in the Discord and your other fans are worried.

- Moni

Anonymous said

i can’t stand eula🤮 and sera🤮 and if sera just pulls up to the funeral uninvited i will literally scream bc WHO TF GOES TO A FUNERAL WHEN YOU’RE NOT INVITED?? 🤬 i dont wanna jinx it but i also feel like she’d make it about herself saying something like “i just wanted to be here for satoru🥺” when she gets kicked out🤬 and ofc she chooses to actually care for him and his feelings when he broke up with her🤬 i also hope eula gets her shit rocked because why would you strangle someone especially your husbands mom😒i hope yuuta snaps at his mom because that woman is crazy 😒 and y/n’s dad and gojos are so different from each other it hurts how different they are😮‍💨 y/n’s dad always puts her first and gojos is the complete opposite😬 and the royal party when they were 7 $:&:&/&£\€\€\^ it’s so cute 🥲 when he promised to marry her 🥲 and did they start greeting each other by kissing each other on the cheek? if so that’s so cute🥲 toji has got to be my favorite also🥺 he worries so much for y/n🥺 i hope his worm comes in soon tho😛 and i also saw your post about gojo wanting 2 kids and it reminded me about how sovieshu wanted kids that looked like navier i added a lot of emojis because it adds flair and also shows emotions so i hope you don’t mind but great chapter as always saint ❤️ you never fail to impress me😫🤝

Anonymous said

🕯 🕯 🕯

🕯 manifesting therapeutic 🕯

🕯 circle after the 🕯

🕯 recent chapter 🕯

🕯 🕯

rip nana- she didn't deserve that noooo eula why 🤺 and that scene with dadjo? i almost threw hands at my screen but am i really willing to sacrifice my phone for the likes of dadjo? absolutely not. i swear the moment i saw sera's name, i just let out a long ass sigh- she annoys me so much lol. her wanting to show up at the funeral gives me mixed feelings like miss maam that's nice of u to give ur two cents but i highly doubt ur presence is wanted bye. can i also just say that i love how you put so much effort into these characters and the storyline!! i could never write angst bc each time i do, i'll literally change the ending to a happy one 😭. i admire the way you wrote these characters in a way where the reader is able to feel what y/n feels throughout the entirety of sn- at least that's how i feel! that's not an easy thing to do as a writer and i really respect that! i hope that you're doing well btw :( you sounded really upset about those asks ksksks. stay safe and get some rest okay! <3

@lcveaesop said

reading Remarried Empress bc a lot of y'all have said it's similar to SN & i do agree! only that the empress is much more composed than y/n (bc obv she's an empress) and saint has written y/n to be more empathetic, selfless, and gentle.

I don't know who i hate more, sera or rashta? they're both entitled to anything good the world has to offer bc of their poor background (which i sympathize with bc it's sad, relatable, and they don't deserve it) but their greediness exceeds them which makes them unworthy of what they want.

sovier and gojo? kick them to the curb. idk how sovier will develop since im still on early chapters but gojo is forgiven bc.... BECAUSE.

the current chapter might give me y/n's condition considering how much the drama made my heart race😭 pls rest and take all the time if you need saint! even a hiatus if u want, u deserve it💛

guroyeu said

tw: death, s*ram and e*la 🤢🤢

waa my feelings towards gojo throughout this whole chapter was like riding a roller coaster 😭 i swore at him sm in my head but i couldn’t help but feel bad when he was begging yn. he rlly has been through a lot and i’m super glad we see so much more of what’s happening on his side (or family). i’m also rlly glad yn is being very brave, despite feeling nauseous throughout the whole situation. when i saw the warning for a minor character death then i KNEW IT WOULD BE NANA OMFGSG. but then at the same time i had to look away from the screen when it rlly was her that died 💀💀 i wish i wasn’t right this time LMFAO. eula is such a bitch too. there’s just so much to say about her and sera in this, but i’m sure all the readers are thinking the same about those 2 lol. AND i just laughed when sera thought naoya would be on her side when she mentioned toji. did she rlly think he would agree?? LMAO WHY WOULD HE WANNA HAVE A RUMOR THAT INVOLVED HIS OWN FAMLY’S COMPANY. seeing sera get shocked cause she expected him to agree with her was just so entertaining to me. also, this has to be my fav chapter. u did so well, ai <3

@moonlightaangel said

how dare you hurt us like this? 🥲 Nana was supposed to see Gojo’s and MC children, and now we’re all heartbroken 😭 fuck the s*rakatsuki, we need the e*lakatsuki now, how dare the scheming, conniving bitch kill Nana 😩 and i wanted to like Yuuta but if he doesn’t admit to what his devil of a mother did, i’ll never forgive him. thank you for throwing in the bit of comfort with Gojo accepting his mother’s comfort, i honestly i want him to forgive her 🥺 and hopefully he doesn’t blame himself. I need Gen to fly back to Japan and whoop E*la’s/S*ra’s ass, because she’s a queen who knows how to get shit done. please give us the satisfaction of throwing her fake ass in jail for manslaughter, heck, make it third degree murder for our sakes. i just want her to suffer without Gojo Sr.’s help. also i can’t believe he didn’t hear Eula telling her to shut up or Nana struggling, it’s amazing how much of a disappointment Gojo Sr. continues to be. Couldn’t even listen on the phone right either. I hope the autopsy shows it wasn’t cardiac arrest, even though I know it’s unlikely since they’re already talking about the funeral 🥲 Anyways, stan MC, Gen, and Gojo’s Mom for clear skin ✨ I know you tend to have over 300+ messages, so just know we love and care for you! Take good care of your body and take time to relax! Self care is a beautiful thing and we wouldn’t you to get burnt out! Take all the time in the world to write, because we’ll always be here to support you! 🤍

@my-reality-is-in-my-head said

Saint holy shit!! That was an amazing chapter why are u apologizing for its quality?! I THINK IT’S THE BEST CHAPTER YOU’VE EVER DONE SO FAR!! The way you amazingly wound together all the plot points, wrote them in such a heartfelt and exciting manner, GIRL I’M TELLING YOU I COULD NOT STOP SQUEALING BC OF HOW GOOD THE CHAPTER WAS!! IT’S MY FAVORITE SO FAR😭😭💜💜 Putting all the events that happened aside, I really can’t stop thinking how great the plot is 😭I’ve never ever read a fic this amazing i swear I shit u not. You deserve all the praise coming your way, AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY AND UNHOLY PLEASE STOP APOLOGIZING FOR YOUR WRITING BC YOU’RE DOING A REALLY GREAT JOB 😭😭💔💔 I don’t know how else to express everything I’m feeling rn bc I’m a bit incoherent after that chapter sjajiss but I want u to know that I love you!! 💜💜 Great job Saint! Rest properly LIKE PROPERLY AFTER THIS!!

@seai-o2 said

This ask may not be as important as the other ones you've been receiving but sjkffhkssk I've been itching to share to you that 'Somebody Else' by The 1975 fits Y/N so well 😩

Just imagine how the entire chorus speaks for Y/N and the plethora of emotions she's been keeping to herself while still allowing Gojo to meet Sera just because + the confusion kicks in on whether or not she should push through with the divorce, but this was before she finally decided.

"You said you'd find someone to take my place" - Then this phrase leads back to the moments where Gojo would continually remind her that she'll never be Sera no matter how hard she tries, ESPECIALLY ON THEIR FIRST NIGHT TOGETHER AND THE TRIP TO ICELAND (then ofc this all leads up to him regretting it kskskskdjs).

"and everytime I start to believe in anything you're saying I'm reminded that I should be getting over it" - This part is when (our hot daddy/the only man I'll ever commit arson for/everyone's baby/the walking temptation) Toji encourages Y/N to stand her ground and fight for herself too coz fuck knows she's got her own life on the line plus its not something to be taken lightly.

"Get someone you love? Get someone you need? Fuck that, get money, I can't give you my soul, 'cause we're never alone" - Ah yes, I get a strong vibe that this line is where Y/N starts to push Gojo away just for the sake of keeping her angina at a less life-threatening level. This also takes me back to the moments where Gojo would run after Sera and leave Y/N in the dark. Like when they were in Bora Bora, they even couldn't communicate and see eye to eye coz Sera was there, and how could Y/N commit herself to him when Gojo was clearly being half-assed at this part? 😭 (but hey, I'm loving every bit of the really heavy angst so BRING IT ON AUTHOR-CHAN!~).

I miss sending you asks omg AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT YOU'VE GOTTEN SO FAR SINCE remember, forever. I absolutey love how more and more people discover your written works, it makes me really glad to see the amount of supporters/readers you have 🙏 Please please pleeeaaaase take care and continually stay safe!~

All my love and support ٩(๛ ˘ ³˘)۶♥

@seashellmichellee said

ALDNAKDKAKS I REAAAAALLY WANNA PULL EULA’S HAIR UNTIL SHE GOES BALD HOLY SHIT ALSNAKSAKA THE AUDACITY OF THE PRETENTIOUS WOMAN!!!!!!! I CANNOT ALSJAKKSA AND HOLY HELL YUUTA 😭 I GET THAT SHE’S YOUR MOM BUT!!? ALSJKAA HNG I STILL WANNA BELIEVE THAT YUUTA WOULD TELL THE TRUTH COZ NANA IS SUCH A SWEET ANGEL AND IF HER DEATH WOULDN’T BE JUSTIFIED, IMMA STRANGLE EULA TO DEATH!!!! AND IMMA DRAG SERA ALONG SO GOJO & Y/N COULD LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER AKDHAKXKSK

Anonymous said

hi Saint! i’m not gonna send a long analysis again this time but just know that this recent chapter left me speechless, in a good way.

I’ve been following you since the ufc fic was ending and honestly you’re one of my favorite writers on tumblr, I get so happy/excited to see notifications both from this blog and your main pop up on my phone. sometimes I see you apologizing bc you think that the writing in the chapters are not the best or bc of your delay in publishing, but pls don’t, bc I don’t want you feeling like you have to meet a certain standard for us readers, honestly anything that you produce is amazing and I’m sure that plenty people also think the same. and it’d be a shame if you ended up feeling like you can no longer enjoy a hobby that you’re choosing to share with the rest of us.

prettyy pls take a much needed break because your health, well-being and personal life is always a number one priority. you don’t owe us anything and if you feel like falling back for however long you need then you should do it, tumblr can wait!

have a good night/day depending on when you receive this!

-🦢

Anonymous said

Again a perfect chapter!! I loved it and it ended so shocking I couldn't believe. I'm feeling a little weird(Idk if its right word?) about what will happen next. Will satoru's dad find out? What will happen between satoru and y/n? Or What really naoya is planning? Andd yuuta plays an important role idk if he will tell. Even though it's right thing to confess I can understand because it's his mom. Also I'm a little worried about satoru he might think he really lost everyone and if he find out who did that his relationship with his father would be so much worse because basically he married with the woman. (honestly he has every right to do anything) Anyway, thank you so much for your hardwork and I'm sorry if I didn't make so much sense! Lastly I wanna add please don't push yourself too much. I know maybe ur hearing it too much but sometimes letting yourself, your mind relax is important. So give yourself a little free time sometimes. Have great day! 💗

Anonymous said

saint, good job with this week's update ( ,: i mean it every time I say it; thank you, for committing to your passions and being a joy to others through it.

One thing I wanted to really really highlight was the emotional connection that really blossomed in this chapter. I always knew yn and gojo had somewhat of a connection together, since they were each other's puppy love, but this last chapter really solidified their value for one another. The flashback from both their childhood scenes, I believe, will play a part in how yn and gojo's future will unfold. Seeing how he tries so hard to keep his childhood promises with yn, I dont see him taking his promise with yn's mom lightly - he'll probably try and commit to that till his grave. Yes, there's still so much to unfold... but I think because of this emotional connection that you established, I believe the future chapters would be that much harder for us, readers, to absorb the pain the characters will go through, but also for you, as the writer, to encapsulate all the detail and weight of the scenes that are to come. I believe yn stating her trauma with gojo was such a big step for both of them, and for their marriage. I know we are foreshadowing a divorce, but I also do believe in order for gojo to willingly let her go... he needs to know all of what he's done to her, and hear it from yn herself. It's good because the more yn reveals, the more gojo seems to be a slave to yn's heart; the more she shares her brokenness, the more he desperately desires to cling unto her. Imagine how painful it would be IF and WHEN these two lovers have to separate?

@propertyoftoru said

CHAPTER 13!!! MY HEART!!! YOUR SKILLS AS A WRITER??? HOLY SHIT??? IM SO ENVIOUS OF YOUR TALENT 😭😭 the EMOTIONS i went thru while reading this!! my heart was BREAKING for satoru like yeah i might’ve been mad at him for a bit but his groveling 😭 he just wants to be loved and he FINALLY TOLD US THAT. even during the smut i was smiling but also crying at the same time. he put his own selfish desires aside and opted to wear a condom because he knew it was what y/n wanted 😭 and he was so concerned when y/n said to slow down 😭 THE AMMOUNT OF ANGER I HAVE TOWARDS EULA?!!?!!?!!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! NOT NANA!!! LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT FOR NANA!!!! while i was reading that section i just kept whispering “pls no not nana” then the flash backs gave me WHIPLASH because the first flashback i was like AWWWW bb toru being an angel and making ANOTHER promise to take care of and marry y/n then the second flash back i was like GOD PLEASE NO. LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE BUT THIS. i just wanna take a second an admire your ability to make me form an emotional attachment here and literally feel my heart BREAK. NANA DESERVED BETTER 😭😭 i just hope satoru doesn’t lash out on yuuta if he does manage to find out the truth. poor bb didn’t do anything and i feel like he’s gonna get caught in the crosshairs 😭 those stinky rats eula and sera are gonna get what the deserve. (my foot up their asses) thank u for another amazing chapter 🥺🥺 i hope ur doing well and feeling better! 💕

Anonymous said

i really just want megumi, mai, and maki's reaction towards sera if they knew that she wasn't an ex but an affair. knowing you and your writing, if ever that happens in the future chapters, it would be GOLD i just know it. and poor megumi, that leech is latching on you and your father. get away you bitch, even the depths of hell wont accept you 🤺🤺

also i feel bad for yuuta rn, he seen all of that and HIS OWN MOTHER threatened him, then he got to keep the act all up i just want to hug him tight and assure him that everything will be okay in the end because (trust the author!). he must be traumatized and unstable like satoru right now, given that he has seen all that but decided to bottle it up. i do hope yuuta and satoru works together (somehow? i dont know but i want to see where their brotherhood goes 🤔) against all of the things happening in the gojou group right now. by this time, its only the two of them left to stop their family name from dropping down to the lowest levels in the business industry.

even though they are unstable right now they are the only 'stable enough person' to stop things from happening.

oh and sera becoming more and more confident? bitch put your confidence back to your own place you don't deserve at least a small ounce of it. don't even hold your head up high because the only thing you will be holding your head up high for is seeing yn succeed. (my superiority complex cant stand seras bullshit)

nonetheless, another great chapter from you and things are getting more and more promising now. two chapters left and i am excited to see where this one goes because everything is going downhill, but enough for the climax of the story to begin (seeing the dramas and problems happening here and there). and by that, i have a feeling that sn1 will end on a bad one then sn2 will still have drama but i think that'll be where resolutions happens on some part. (my theory ._.)

even so, ill put all my trust on you on the next chapters because i trust your judgement, outline, plot, plans, and character development. and also sorry if any of my words turned out offensive. ;-;

another great chapter, thank you saint. please take a great, great rest equivalent to this great chapter before you start writing again. you deserve all the time in the world because of how much effort i see you put into each of your works. please also use that same effort to take care of yourself. dont forget that! take care of yourself!

thats all my rants for this chapter, i hope its not annoying. ah, i wish for yuuta's happy ending too. baby boy needs happiness in his life if he is raised by a toxic person. :(

thats all, ily saint! take care of yourself!

Anonymous said

I have a theory

So if I read correctly (it’s 4am my brain is shutting down slowly) sera was looking for something to expose MC in public so she can face the public’s criticism.

If that’s true does she realise what effect this will have in her and Gojo? She’s so desperate to “eliminate” MC and while she looks down at her and tries to take her place by any means she doesn’t realise how everything will affect her.

If Sera exposes her affair with Gojo she doesn’t really realise that she and Gojo will be the ones facing negativity and not MC. Sure there will be people who will say that MC did something wrong to lead Gojo to cheat like that but usually in the public’s eyes it’s the mistress and the husband who are to blame.

Infidelity also is a very strong sign not to trust someone. And in business world trust is necessary for companies. Gojo’s dad obviously dislikes Satoru and he just need an excuse to kick him out of the company. So boom here comes sera and the affair here’s Gojo sr’s reason. And suddenly Satoru is disowned and is left with no job no money and a huge trauma. Does sera really think she will be able to climb in a higher status by “overthrowing” MC and taking her place, acting like the affair never existed. So basically her “revenge” on MC will be her downfall and she doesn’t seem to realise it..

I swear if someone from inside the Gojo household or Gojo’s mom or Sera or even an employee it will trigger so much events and suddenly the whole Gojo family will be exposed.

Satoru’s physical abuse

Yuuta’s emotional abuse

Eula’s true colours and actions

Gojo sr actions

It can be the end for the whole Gojo group.

I’m so excited to see how things will turn out..

Also does Sera actually think that she still has a chance with Satoru and that he still loves her or she’s just desperate to stay with him for her own reasons or she just doesn’t want to face reality?

@craftyfawns said

I thought sera was just a mild misogynistic pick me girl at first who shits on yn by being like ‘I’m unique~~~ Because I’m poor I’m not like other rich girls *cough yn cough*~~ but no, she’s just a straight up woman hater. Like she hates women. Compare what she thinks of naoya and toji to what she thinks of meredith (??) mai, and obvs yn, she just hates women.

Sera would be the kind of girl who would be like ‘i don’t believe in feminism bc i think we should believe in equalism’ and then proceed to never let gojo let his feelings out near her bc she’s also a believer of toxic masculinity 😐 i hate her

Anonymous said

BESTIEEEEE THAT CHAPTERRRRR🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 Yuuta better snitch 🥲 I want justice for nana he I know he has those Oscar nominated acting skills from the manga 🤣🤣🤣 also one question my dear Saint, Does Gojo’s dad even love him? Because it looks to me like he just sees him as a tool and abuses him plus he’s always gushing about Yuuta. Like would he even care if his son was hurt seriously or something? And my new enemy is his bitch of a wife like I swear Yuuta you better snitch😩😩 you witnessed a killing and you know who did it please sing like a canary my love. You better sing soon or they’re going to say that you were a accomplice😩😩😩 then Gojo’s dad is really gonna be mad.

Anonymous said

Hi i just wanted to drop by and share a few thoughts. I’ve read a lot of different fanfiction by many different creators. But you are definitely among the few that have actually stood out! Your language and general way of writing is amazing! As much as I appreciate the way you describe characters and their growth/emotions I am love with the way you set a scene/world. I could write an essay honestly but I’ll spare you😋

All in all I am a fan!!!!

thesupernotsosecretblog said

i feel like sera will manipulate gojo into thinking it's mcs fault for nanas death bc she announced the divorce or lie about mc having an affair w toji😕 she'll probably say something like she did in bora bora when they found out about the birth control :/ and then gojo being in an emotional state will believe her and reveal the truth about the merger and say that everything he told her in this chapter was a lie😕 and maybe this all happens at nanas funeral and she has an angina attack but she gets called an attention seeker by sera/gojo so the zenins help her and toji tells gojo to stay away from mc

Anonymous said

And suddenly I forgot how to talk/ type

This chapter i swear I cried

Imma start with Satoru and I’ll be completely honest. I HATED him. Like I wanted him to suffer but reading the last two chapters and his trauma I actually feel bad for him. He’s so devastated I can’t even think about him-

I was so worried about Y/N in this character. Things got so emotional that i was almost sure that she would have an “angina attack”

Sera. I wanna slap her so bad. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GIRL. Also did sera really not understand that Satoru is done with her and their relationship? But anyway I’m stopping here because there is much more important stuff than a bratty woman who can’t face reality.

Another person who deserves to be punched: Gojo sr. He PUBLICLY beat up his son he’s like a child who can’t control his emotions. Hope he gets his Karma eventually 👀👀

Yuuta my poor bby is so confused I feel bad for him

Mai meeting sera. The queen gave her what she deserves. 0 attention

Toji being caring friend melts my heart but after one of your asks I’m scared to trust him anymore. Still team Toji though😂😂

Naoya I can’t with this man. Honestly what is he doing…

And the worse for last. EULA WHAT THE

Like she calls others monsters but she legit KILLED someone innocent. SHE DESERVES THE WORSE KARMA. Hope something triggers an investigation for Nana.

R E S T. I N. P E A C E. N A N A.

Anonymous said

ngl i havent liked satoru one bit in the sn, hes just been a massive dick but god do i feel sorry for him. his mother left him,, his dad started abusing him, his stepmom is a vile goldigging women and the only person who he could rely on was nana but she got killed by his fucking stepmom. i definitely think that the way he turned out is because of his family. Say his mother took him with her or she stayed then i dont think he would have ended up so traumatised.

also i’m to see whether yuuta tells them about his mothers deeds, i sure do hope he does and i would also want to see how gojo and y/n react to it.

@sachiochan said

oh man waking up this early only to read this is like... waking up to a news broadcast 😭😭 oh man where do we start, eula killing her mother in law, y/n maybe changing her mind, or dadjo physical abusive nature?? perhaps we start with the beginning, dude I thought out of an accident, like at the Gojo's house everyone gathered + y/n, they were discussing the divorce proceedings and then begging y/n to change her mind then dadjo starts physically abusing Satoru afterwards like Nana steps in but Dadjo whacks her by accident then he kept seeing red and accidentally killed her. Man by far this exceeded my expectations, I am so fuckin glad that now we have something to get Eula with like bitch is gonna get her fucking retribution and karma hoho but rest in peace Nana 😭 I think theres a high chance y/n will change her mind after what she saw like, dadjo abusing satoru, nobody helping him and stuff and she will change her mind secretly and noboy knows, then Satoru's mum and her will take care of him and bring him to recovery slowly but then again, I think all that news at night is bound to traumatise him to the point it shatters him and he just becomes an empty shell temporarily, before and after Nana's wedding for a indefinite amount of time. I think Dadjo wasnt raised with love tbh thats why hes like that but no point discussing a loser like that 😒 like he may has his own pains but like, thats no reason for u to physically abuse ur 1st son bitch. good chapter, i really loved it with y/n and gojo's "try to make up but fail" stuff and well, this isnt a disappointing chapter, just a very sad one ❤️

Anonymous said

hey saint! it was an amazing chapter, as always! i can't believe you were saying that this chapter would have the worst writing when it's a masterpiece!

the whole plot is getting more and more intense and tbh what happened here is even more interesting than satoru and yn's romance😭😭 i felt like i was watching a movie and i think it's one of the things that got me addicted to sn. only having romance can get pretty boring (even tho i could never be bored with the way you write your stories)

i don't even know where to start but EULA PRISON ARC WHEEEEEEEN

i think yuuta is too sweet to keep what he saw to himself. he's not like his mother and (i think you said that?) he even judges her for the awful things she does

also sera leveling up in the clown game HAHAHAHAHA the funerals are gonna be wayyyyy too interesting and im ready to see her getting put in her place by gen, satoru, yn AND literally everyone there (naoya>>>>>>>)

i feel like the next chapter is gonna be the last one with A LOT of drama before we can move on to the end

once again, thank you for always giving us the best

don't forget to take care of yourself♡

Anonymous said

GIRL I WAS LEGIT CRYING THE WHOLE CHAPTER. THE. WHOLE. CHAPTER. OK SOOOO (TW : SERA & EULA) THAT BITCH SERA OMG I SWEAR SHE BETTER NOT DO ANY MORE DAMAGE. SHE'S DONE ENOUGH. SHE NEEDS TO STAY FAAARRR AWAY FROM GOJO & Y/N ISTG I WILL TRANSPORT TO THE STORY AND END HER MYSELF. EULA GIRL I–. I REALLY YUUTA SNITCHES ON HER. THATS ALL IM SAYING. Ok but back to the main pair, I hope gojo & y/n start healing tbh. I know it's bound to get even more angsty, and you can take your time with that since it's ur story, but I do wish them the best. I was in so much pain for the two of them this chapter omg. As always, please, please, please take all the time you need to rest. It's not healthy if you keep pushing yourself just to catch up to a deadline. Please ALWAYS put your health first before anything. Amazingly chapter as always saint! <33

Anonymous said

so i couldn't send this after chapter thirteen was published but i was listening to tolerate it by taylor swift and it reminded me so much of gojoy/n. mainly the bridge and the chorus that says:

"you assume i'm fine / but what would you do if i, i / break free and leave us in ruins / took this dagger in me and removed it / gain the weight of you then lose it / believe me, i could do it / if it's all in my head tell me now / tell me i've got it wrong somehow / i know my love should be celebrated / but you tolerate it"

i feel like this is exactly what's happening. she is breaking free of that marriage and trying to be happy and healthy. the "gain the weight of you then lose it" reminds me of gojo tbh. like he realizing she understands him, his trauma and his pain but she is leaving him and that is destroying him.

anyway, love the story. you are an amazing writer. hope you are feeling better, please take care of yourself. <3

hiiiii you guys thank u for sending these through i’m always having lots of fun reading through them <33 🥺🥺

[shamemp3]

POSITIVE 20 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

@demondeals thank you for tagging me this was SO MUCH FUN!! ily!!

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

aah this is hard okay so first and foremost peter parker. he’s one of those characters that have always been relatable in almost every aspect of life since i was a kid, especially when it comes to how he deals with his feelings and like his emotions and humor and his problems in general?? and then also jake peralta also because of feelings and how he tries to avoid them and be all!! fun fck yea!! and humor and idk?? also i love amy santiago so... third i think is percy jackson bc no thoughts head empty and he is impulsive and also brave and i would like to think that i am brave?? and yeh im trying to make this as short as possible and only vaguely explain but. it’s not working ksdfjbv okay fourth character is stiles stilinski ig?? like sarcasm and humor again, and idk this is all repeating but it all comes back to how he deals w his feelings and guilt and problems and idk the reasons are mostly the same with all these characters and yea there’s more but i feel like i am talking too much so i will stop skjdbvjk

2. Aesthetic

milkshakes and fries, neon lights, blasting the car radio, doing literally anything as long as it’s with friends, city lights, train rides at night, playing video games till sunrise, campfire smell, denim and flannels, drive-in movies

3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

uhh i’ve only listened to hamilton which had some really cool beats! ive also listened to a few songs from dear evan hansen, wicked, mean girls, and oh now that i think about it i’ve seen the shrek musical on netflix and 10/10 phenomenal in every way that’s my favorite one

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

i know i’ve gotten compliments but for some reason i cant remember any?? like the second i read this question my brain went whoosh. idk probably whenever people tell me im funny or notice that im keeping my cool in a situation that is very NOT cool?? idk i really cant think of any rn jdfsbksdjb but there have definitely been compliments that i have thought about for weeks bc i was like....omg? me? kinda sad that i dont remember them i really hope i do soon bc i wouldnt wanna forget smth like that sjkdbdvhsb

5. How many times have you been in love?

i don’t think i’ve ever been in love (at least romantically)? im not certain but im 90% sure i haven’t. but when it comes to friends and family, sososos many times i lvoe them all

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

uhhh i got pantsed in like grade 7 bc i was being dragged across the floor and then this 9th grader came up to me in the middle of the hallway and yelled “HEY I SAW YOUR ASS” i wanted to perish

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

ooh probably zootopia or wall-e!!

8. Favorite flower or plant?

this is hard! i love ferns and sunflowers and hydrangeas and ooh also vines 

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

i love new year’s eve! it’s just fun because we all just stay up and celebrate and there’s always this feeling of “oh i got through another year!” also 4th of july but not bc of the actual holiday just bc my old town used to have these 4th of july carnivals that were crazy fun and i used to go like almost every day when the carnival was in town

10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

first one is my school posted a picture of me graduating on their facebook and my mom sent them the link to look at it and when they pressed on it they started replying to my mom thinking it was on whatsapp but they left like 7 comments on the school’s post in arabic so that was funny as fukckjdbf, second is atla bc i love that show and everyone is so precious, and number 3 is literally any conversation with any of my friends

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

axel f by crazy frog. next question

12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

probably watching one of my favorite movies (mr. popper’s penguins or itsv tbh) or like just going on any of my friend’s gcs and sending memes and stuff

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

i plan on going into chemistry!! i might also minor in computer or environmental science, but i’m still undecided! crazy because up till a few months ago i had zero idea what i wanted to do and my plans kept changing like every week

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

probably my denim jacket or my really big red sweatshirt? idk tbh i really only buy clothes that i know i would feel myself in and that i would be comfortable, but i think those two are probably my favorites?

15. What is a quote you live by?

power of people is stronger than the people in power because i want to take down the evil government. this is the first one i thought of so it’s staying skjvbjksdb

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

i have ‘AAAAHHHHHHH’ and i have ‘mitten ski’ which is a playlist composed entirely of mitski songs

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

wanna touch knees?

18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

please stand up for urself and talk ab ur feelings for the love of god it’s ok to admit to being not ok ?? also everything in the world is not ur fault, chill btich

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

i can’t really do this bc i really do love all of them in a different way. i’m definitely closest to my mom because i’ve lived with her all my life, but i still can’t pick favorites

20. What’s a secret dream of yours?

to be an astronaut pls this isn’t a secret i just really want to be an astronaut or a superhero pls someone give me a radioactive eel bite or send me to space or something. also to be able to be more open w people and to visit aleppo again 

i’m tagging: @natasharxmanov @anthonydarling @parkersedith @jessjones @anxieteandbiscuits if you guys want to!!! ily all very much

[relativefiction]

tagged by @medievalswords ​thanks homeslice! i get lazy and forget to do things i’m tagged in but i saw this and just decided to do it in the moment so let’s go

10 songs ive been listening to lately

humpty - mitski

grace - florence + the machine

kilby girl - the backseat lovers

lose it - swmrs

everything - muna

black diamonds - big thief 

ode to divorce - regina spektor 

drinking games - silver sphere

mr brightside - the killers

i’m working so you don’t have to try - pity party girls club

social distancing meme - these are my two of choice

Are you staying home from work/school? yes i am! school is closed and online learning sucks a whole lot but we are surviving

If you’re staying home, who is with you? my mom and my dog! we all are very sick of and upset with each other at this point it’s honestly turning very sour.

Who would be your ideal quarantine mate? my best friend mar 10000% we have a close relationship and really get each other we’d never be bored. also my girlfriend because i miss her and wish we could be reading to each other and watching movies and cuddling :(

Are you a homebody? literally not at all. like on a scale of 1-10 a solid 0. i hate being at home so much i literally do schoolwork at libraries or cafes exclusively and spend my weekends out of the house except to sleep. i hate it here!

An event you were looking forward to that got canceled? my childhood best friend and i were supposed to go on a road trip and to a music festival the week of her graduation. two of my favorite artists were performing and it was going to be so fucking awesome and her graduation was two days after the festival and she’s only allowed to have like 4 or 5 people come for her and she gave me a ticket and i bought a dress for it and i’ve been looking forward to seeing her graduate since we were kids. that week was supposed to be amazing but the music festival and her graduation were both cancelled so not anymore :(

What movies have you watched recently? the spectacular now and its a bit of a cringy rom com but i love how it shows the difficulties of true human connection and even if you’re outgoing and seemingly happy social situations can still be challenging and all that jazz! it’s really hard to watch because some parts hit home but it’s pretty good

What shows are you watching? orange is the new black, rewatching killing eve + glee, and i just started watching tiger king w my gf! i also have been obsessed w the bon apetit test kitchen lately so please message me your favorite gifs of claire saffitz if you feel like it she’s such an angel i love her

What music are you listening to? mr. brightside on LOOP i wish i was kidding

What are you reading? i just finished the last lecture by randy pausch for a class, i’m reading le petit prince in french, and i plan to start rereading sharp objects and perks of being a wallflower. i’m planning to read the last two as inspiration for something i’m currently writing so i’m going to go slowly through them and take lots of notes about certain elements which will be very fun and hopefully help me w some ideas!

if you’re a mutual or just a follower and you feel like doing this go for it! took enough energy to write this and i’m tired so you can just say i tagged you!

[kakashibestie]

1, 17, 22

whoa i accidentally clicked on one of the links i was going to list here and the entire answer was deleted i want to SCREAM…

anyway, thank u and i hope u don’t mind this being a lengthy answer

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

read 

the glass essay by anne carson (no other piece of literature has managed to give me the sense of…comfort this poem gives me thus far in my life sooo there’s that)

this poem by warsan shire

a couple entries of the ny times modern love column that i feel have…somehow changed me (1 & 2)

this poem i wrote at 1:30am a couple weeks or so after my last Breakup rly sums Me up

watch 

THE FIRST STAR WARS MOVIE because luke skywalker in it is literally me 

legally blonde is me but Better

and jackie (w/natalie portman) because she…i feel like she gets it like it’s…it’s…like i don’t want to spoil it too much but she smokes throughout the whole movie…like A Lot, and there’s a scene that kinda goes like this: the interviewer mentions he’ll write how she lights up another cigarette she looks him dead in the eye, answers his previous question, puts out the cigarette she’s been smoking and LITERALLY says “and i don’t smoke” as she does it like…her mind her MIND!!!! like that’s…something i could definitely see myself doing because i do smoke but not a lot and i could totally get away with saying i dont just for the SAKE of it! there are a few other moments throughout the film that make me go holy shit…she…understands, and the fun thing about it is that she’s someone ive kinda looked up to since i first learned abt her existence, but the way the movie turns her into a…sort of grittier, less polished version of herself is what rly rly does it for me. like once somebody told me i was like jackie kennedy but with messy hair—i’d like to add the fact that i Swear a lot to that description and it’d be…just perfect

now that we’re onto this please watch Her 1962 white house tour for some good ‘ol asmr

here’s a letterboxd list with some of my favorite films of all time

as for tv shows i recently watched the politician on netflix and oof…#me, i also love project runway??? because fashion jkfhdjkfsf

also um like it’s never enough Imagery™ with me sooo lana del rey’s national anthem music video is..yeah, and now that we’re on youtube pls watch ajayll’s melodrama album reaction, that’s me babey

this youtube video literally DONT ask what it is just watch it it changed my life and i hope it changes yours…very tender lots of yearning included

listen 

my favorite song of ALL TIME (pls watch the music video as well pls watch the music video as well please watch the music video as well) and my favorite love song of all time (lyrics here pls read them)

a few songs about ME, off the top of my head: vienna by billy joel, abbey by mitski, primadonna by marina, i wanna get better by bleachers

THE ON BEING WITH KRISTA TIPPETT PODCAST!!!!! i’ve found such….comfort and like…rly rly valuable knowledge listening to it and i just, idk i’ve been listening to it for only a few months (like 4 i think…) but i feel like it’s already impacted my life in a deep, positive way!

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

i think so yeah, i mean it’s a mixture of yknow everything i find pleasing with the occasional mental breakdown posts added to it

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

OH this is hard…being in college should be the First one but i will not count it

listening to music

watching yt videos (some of the channels im subscribed to are pbs space time, the school of life, bon appetit, this hairstylist called brad mondo, simplynailogical

being on social media (i don’t have a Working phone rn so i do everything on desktop and the sites i use the most are tumblr and facebook mostly bc i use to message classmates/friends and my mom lmao)

looking up stuff online, mostly clothes i’ll probs never buy but like i save stuff in wishlists and sometimes download images to a folder i’ve called “fashion ref”…lmao

sleeping

identity ask………oh shit

[umamiclown]

rules: answer 21 questions then tag 21 people

tagged by: @nessms thnk u!!! its been years since i did one of these

name: vrinda (slightly uncomfy 4 me now cs of gender stuff but im workin it out)

nickname: closest friends call me vee!

gender: changes every blue moon but current pronouns r she/he

star sign: scorpio sun and rising so you know the stars made me mean as hell babay!!!

height: 5′5′’.not 2 vaguepost but im not short. yall know exactly who u are :/

current time: 14:08

fave artists: fuck idk uhhh *frantically scrolls thru my own music at the speed of sound* according 2 google play music ive listened 2 washing machine heart by mitski 23 times in the past week so theres that

song stuck in my head: interpassion by yelle

last movie i saw: i cried during bohemian rhapsody.......dark shoutout 2 younger me for not realizing tht every one of queens songs bangs

last thing i googled: enthalpy of combustion of ethanol. test week starts soon :/

other blogs: i only use like one other blog actively n its my aesthetic/stim blog @aesthetic-sloth

do i get asks: occasionally cs im not cool n theyre always @oddlykip fucken roasting me

reason for url: uuu i think i went to a random url generator in like 2013?? n then it became my Brand™

following: over 2000 people...............SPEAKING ODF WHICH i just hit 1000 followers i should.make a post abt tht

average sleep: this term has been hell so like 6 hrs at best

lucky number: 9

currently wearing: its saturday. im abt that pjs life

dream job: microbiology!!! means i have 2 get way fucken good grades tho :/

dream trip: ngl if i had money id be a rich tourist hoe takin a year long trip around europe but otherwise like. disneyland ig

fave foods: i JUST ate spicy chicken dumplings. definitely those but specifically frm the restaurant near my house

instruments: i played piano for like......3 years??? but then i lost interest cs i literally cannot commit to things so im doin singing now

fave song(s): changes every 5 mins or so but wuthering heights by kate bush (im a slut for 80s music n also kate bush)

hair color: black but im gona dye it maroon-purple the EXACT second i move out

favorite fruit: idk if berries count but i ate SO many blueberries ystrdy

favorite season: tht summer to fall midway time definitely

favorite animal: idk if i have one???but i love kakapos n sloths r cute

favorite fictional character: HOO boy!!! im not showing any favoritism whatsoever but i have a mini mettaton sacrificial altar on my desk so :/ (the sacrifices r my 7000 missing sets of dnd dice n also marbles)

favorite TV show(s): jojos bizarre adventure. yes im tht jojo mutual

cat or dog: you fools! you cowards!! i have two (2) pet holding hands

favourite colour: uhhh maroonish purple and like, royal blue? 

do you have a crush on tumblr: no i donnt INTERACT w anyone on this site

play(ed) any sports?: i like badminton n volleyball. doesnt mean im good at them though :/

language(s) you speak: umm english , hindi, finnish, sanskrit (to some extent), swedish (but im never takin or speaking it again fuck tht), n like....some spanish but w a hideous accent

random fact: uuhh i cant hear out of one ear (wait did it have 2 be wild personal)

describe yourself in aesthetic: i got a shirt frm the thrift store which i thot screamed Butch Rights!!™ the other day n my mom said it made me look like a yakuza member so i base my entire personality off of it now. also like every shirt in my closet is maroon

im gonna tag @oddlykip @stellathetumbler @lady-genesis @sirenswithnoharmony  @sc4ry3quin0x ​ @beadlizard  ok fucj i cant remember anyonr else no way in hell im taggin 21 people

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[professorllayton]

1. Nicknames: em emmalou and louise!!

2. Gender: girl

3. Star Sign: capricorn bb ;)

4. Height: 5′11

5. Time: it is 5:36 as i type this

6. Birthday: jan 13th!!! its less than a month away im gonna cry

7. Favorite Bands: I REALLY LOVE WALK THE MOON RN. .. . SO MUCH but uh other than that seafret only bc i cant rmbr any others and ive been listening to both of their albums on repeat for like 3 weeks straight and nothing else

8. Favorite Solo Artists: hozier, mitski, troye sivan, lorde, hayley kiyoko, and UH . cupcakke although ive only heard the running w the lgbt one jkjfdkgjklf

9. Song stuck in my head: that one song by that one fifth harmony lady idk its really popular rn but i cant rmbr it for the life of me 

10. Last Movie Watched: i watched kingsman 2 last night

11. Last Show Watched: i caught up w marvel’s runaways today!!

12. When did I Create my Blog: august 2015 if i rmbr right

13. What do I post: like...............everything idk i have like 500 interests and i just post abt them all

14. Last Thing Googled: is kingsman getting a third movie

15. Do you have other blogs: nope!!

16. Do you get asks: like. . .. .really occasionally 

17. Why did you choose your username: idk i was just trying to think of smth clever and just jeezlouise was taken so :/// also my middle name is louise so ;)

18. Following: 988.. . . blease stop me

19. Followers: 559 ive been stuck in the 550′s for forever now jgkfdkjgkjdf

20. Favorite colors: like nearly any orange shade!!!!! and i love pinks so long as they dont have purple in them and i love purples so long as they dont have pink in them kjlgfdkgkjl and im a big fan of like . . literally every peach color 

21. Average hours of sleep: like . . .10

22. Lucky number: i have no clue lmao 

23. Instruments: i dont play any instruments!! weeps

24. What am I wearing right now: a sleep shirt and fuzzy pj pants jkglfldkjlkj

25. How many blankets I sleep with: 4!! i liek to sleep w a lot of weight on me its blessed

26. Dream Job: idk!! something to do w  animals maybe!!

27. Dream Trip: i think i’d jsut like to explore the world that i havent already!!! nearly anywhere tbh

28. Favorite food: reuben sandwiches holy shit and clam chowder and bbq chicken wings and my little sister’s mac and cheese and

29. Nationality: american

30. Favorite Song(s) Now: the whole of walk the moon’s what if nothing album kjfdlkjlkjg

i was tagged by @spiersfeld (thank u!!!! :”) and im gonna tag: @ghostzzy @spikenards @rollersk8s @hevlasxa @frostedfox and idk anyone else who wants to!! 

[academicsapphic]

92 Question Tag

Tagged by @annikki-studies​ thanks a bunch!

LAST:

Drink: always water

Phone call: the pharmacy

Text message: “everyone i know just leaves after sleeping together unless they’re like dating” - me to a GC

Song you listened to: Crushed Little Stars - Mitski

Time you cried: i don’t even remember which frightens me cause i normally cry every five seconds

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: i haven’t even dated someone once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i haven’t even kissed someone once 8. Been cheated on: see #6 9. Lost someone special: i don’t feel like i have?  10. Been depressed: it’s my way of life 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: okay so i did drink a punch at my friend’s party and i didn’t get drunk but my body completely rejected it cause i drank half a cup really slowly with water, was completely lucid, and ten minutes later started vomiting. that’s enough liquor for me i shall stick with beer. and im still salty cause i was like i wanna see what its like to be tipsy i wanna let loose and have fun! and my body was like “how about no fun and only puke”. all that to say: yes and no??? DON’T DRINK LIQUOR MIXED WITH JUICE IT’S A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN EITHER DO SHOTS OR DRINK BEER OR DRINK NOTHING

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: purple, certain blues, gray

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: omg so many. ive made shitty ones then i made my actual ones. all you do in college is make friends. 16. Fallen out of love: havent been in it. ive fallen out of infatuation though 17. Laughed until you cried: of course, all the time, my friends are ridiculous 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah that’s always a great feeling 19. Met someone who changed you: i’m sure lots of people i’ve met are responsible for who i am today  20. Found out who your friends are: yes, see #15  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: see #7 GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them why would i add strangers 23. Do you have any pets: a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: not really 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i think we went to dinner 26. What time did you wake up: like 6 something? not being at college means i have a normal sleep schedule and i hate it 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping i hate summer 28. Name something you can’t wait for: MOVE-IN MOVE-IN MOVE-IN I WANNA GO BACK TO UNI SO BAD 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour or two ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so many things i cant even list but also im very grateful for my life so like idk 31. What are you listening to right now: HIMYM 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ?? idk 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: summer, registration, sometimes my family 34. Most visited websites: Netflix, YouTube, Tumblr, Amazon, Vandy’s registration site, and MyFitnessPal

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: my arm, my neck, my chin 36. Mark/s: a lot, birthmarks, scars, places ive burned myself 37. Childhood dream: same one i have now, be a professional musician and performer 38. Hair color: dark almost black brown 39. Long or short hair: long, but recently my hair got cut and i actually really like it short too but for the long run, long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: no life is boring and im giving my feelings a break from getting hurt 41. What do you like about yourself: sometimes my music is good and my eyes are a nice color but i hate everything about me lol 42. Piercings: basic ears 43. Blood type: no idea  44. Nickname: Bree 45. Relationship status: single, as i have been for my whole life, as i will be for my whole life 46. Zodiac: Aquarius

47. Pronouns: she/her  48. Favorite TV Show: Fringe/The Office  49. Tattoos: Nope, maybe someday, something small on my wrist or hand, but probably not cause my pain tolerance is -100 50. Right or left hand: left 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: ive gotten highlights a couple times 53. Sport: softball from childhood through high school 55. Vacation: going to myrtle beach next week 56. Pair of trainers: what are trainers?  MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: just made myself dinner (veggie burger with lettuce bun and 100-calorie fries)  58. Drinking: water, obv 59. I’m about to: eat some frozen grapes and do some cardio 61. Waiting for: School to start jesus i wanna go back so bad

62. Want: all my wildest dreams to come true 63. Get married: i like really really wanna spend my life with someone so hopefully that happens someday 64. Career: idk yet. maybe grad school, maybe law school, maybe my music career will take off and ill get to do my passion for a living WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: i wouldnt know cause no kisses yet 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: for guys, taller, for girls i dont care cause theyre all so beautiful i shant dare have a preference for their anything 68. Older or younger: older but not by a lot 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i truly dont care i have neither so how could i judge 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive i love crying and i wanna have a df who cries too  72. Hook up or relationship: not that i could get either, but relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker cause im so hesitant HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: yes it tastes so bad but i stuck through it to try to get drunk  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i literally lost my right contact at the beginning of senior year and spent the rest of highschool wearing just my left one. i’m a mess. i’ve never lost my glasses though *knock on wood* 77. Turned someone down: yes which is amazing 78. Sex on the first date: if im going on a date with someone ive probably already known them for a while since dating strangers terrifies me so sure maybe why not  79. Broken someone’s heart: doubt it 80. Had your heart broken: not truly? like ive never been in love but in an infatuation crush sense? literally all the time. i spent all second semester so heartbroken that i was in physical pain for months at a time over this guy i liked so much who had a girlfriend and was also really annoying so it wasnt even worth it. it took a therapy session to get out of it.

81. Been arrested: no my black ass would probably be killed first 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: I never fall for friends. that’s so weird to me. when i first meet you i’m either not attracted to you so you’re therefore just my friend, or i’m attracted to you and i can’t just like you as a friend so you’re a crush. but i’ve never been friends with someone i liked, i’ve only liked strangers and people i’ve never talked to cause im pathetic. i could never like one of my friends oh my god. when friends like me, i get so uncomfortable i can hardly look at them. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: honestly i have to cause its kind of hard to let down the only person on your team at all times  85. Miracles: kind of, i believe that everything happens for a reason and the universe/gods have a plan so if something miraculous happens it was meant to happen 86. Love at first sight: i believe in first really strong attraction that turns into love 87. Santa Claus: not anymore :’( 88. Kiss on the first date: definitely, even before the first date who cares  OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: don’t really have a single best friend 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Breakfast at Tiffany’s probably

[newbuginnings-blog]

2/25/17

this past week in paris has been delightful. i was charmed by a city known to do just that–the cafes lining the streets, laid back culture centered around eating and talking without worrying about the time, and the bustling streets that give the city it’s life, made me almost forget the outrageously high prices. i saw mitski live at les etoiles tuesday and so my week started with a high of inspiration and admiration, coupled with a feeling of longing and desire for a life where i too, can have friends, and be, like the people i elevate and idolize so forcefully. there were lots of american students and after the concert i mourned my shyness that prevented me from attempting to make friends. i know better than ever at this point speaking up and taking an extra step to reach out to people can only open more doors and opportunities. being outgoing is literally this, and is the key to making a fruitful experience full of connections and meaningful relationships. i know this, and yet i continue to hold a certain distrust for myself to be worthy enough of other peoples time and space. at first i was really disappointed in myself, and woke up with a sinking feeling in my stomach the next morning, because with the treacherous self-comparative traps of social media, i had ducked into a toxic headspace. i know this feeling–and i have been trying to teach myself to weaponize this familiarity, to use it to delve into self reflection and combat the deprecating power of sadness. and guess what? i am still learning to hold myself worthy of space and time! i am not perfect and missed opportunities can’t possibly be the most vital ones, the idea that things can be sacred and once in a lifetime discredits the fact that you can still move forward, be happy, and have rewarding experiences in different places at different times. it is not a finite line of fulfilled or unfulfilled goals, we are living amongst a multiplicity of potentials.

~*~

i saw so many things this week and probably spent too much money. the man at the information counter in versailles was surprised to hear i was under eighteen and visiting the castle alone. are you a warrior? he asked me. you must be a warrior, he said.

kind people are everywhere. willing to help and share. i do not see this as some “hope in humanity” type of thing, because i always have believed in everyones capacity for good. i think morality is multifaceted and certainly don’t prescribe myself to the binary of good and evil. but i am aware and grateful for the kind acts of the people around me.

yesterday, my last day in paris, was spent with a group of very kind people. mutual friends have come to play an important role in my time abroad, and so the girlfriend of a friend of my friend who was willing to, despite the fact that we had never met (nor had i met her partner), meet with me, ended up leading to a wonderful day. i met her at noon and we waited for three of her friends to join us for bangladeshi food. we talked a lot about miyazaki films and art school and learning language. we eventually walked to a cafe that she frequents called la favorite, and drank coffee while waiting for another friend of hers to arrive. we all walked as a group through the pére lachaise cemetery. the sun was warm and contrasted perfectly with the cool green grounds. the group got bigger and we sat for hours talking in a cafe nearby the cemetery. eventually our plan to go to the movies turned into a plan to grab a drink and food. we got the cheapest possible supplies for sandwiches at the grocery, and ate fries and drank bitter parisian beer in a huge climbing center/bar down the street. now a table of six passionate women (the boyfriends had since parted ways), we loudly laughed and discussed things like polyamory and capitalism and what to do when your faves are problematic. when i spilled the last sip of my apple juice, the waiter gave me a full new bottle. a few friends then went to the bathroom to roll a joint and make the ham and cheese sandwiches (our contraband) and the rest of us laughed at the weirdness of the situation, especially for me, in paris with a bunch of lovely people ive just met waiting on cheap sandwiches made in a bathroom. i told one of my favorite stories about sneaking into the swimming pool in the middle of the night with one of the most important friends i have.

i was sent off with warmth and the promising future of seeing five of them again in april when they visit berlin. i accidentally said to one of them in the rush of the moment (i had to catch the metro) that i found her book collection interesting and wanted to exchange letters with her. i think thats a good description of me most of the time, not exactly my ideal form but nonetheless, a “romantic in a rush.”

i realized, on my way back to the apartment on the metro, with a ham and cheese sandwich on a baguette made for me by kind friends (they ended up not even taking sandwiches for themselves, just making one for me!) that i am cared for, and that most of all, i will miss them. that i had (and this isn’t an often occurrence) succeeded in making an impression i was comfortable with, or maybe that i had “been myself” and felt accepted which, ever since i read nin, has become apparent to me as more of a challenge than everyone makes it out to be. this feeling undid the disappointment of not making friends with the other americans i noticed at the mitski concert when i probably easily could have. and it reaffirmed my faith in opportunities being in abundance, not existing in a linear strand.

i miss them already!

this morning i woke up to a small comment mentioning that my new friend will miss me too. apparently she messaged our mutual thanking her for introducing us! i am looking forward to next time. this feeling brought me back into touch with what it is like to feel genuinely. anaïs nins diary was relatable in many ways, mostly in the ways it investigated authenticity and validity of self and truth. what is it to be honest? what importance does it hold? does my investment in fantasy make me a liar?

today i read in kaufmann’s the faith of the heretic that perhaps these are the wrong questions to be asking. instead of asking whether you are a lier or honest, ask how you can become more honest and more critical. to be a heretic is to challenge authority, to be honest is to not only be open to criticism (and then refuse to let it change you) but to be your own most severe critic, to commit to learning and change and challenge and doubt instead of lazily accepting promises of certainty (even when you know they are not true).

feeling in good company is genuine. it makes me feel honest when i listen.

~*~

this morning a family friend drove me around paris and bought me a classic parisian breakfast at le deux margot which had been too expensive for me to afford in the last four days. i enjoyed yogurt, an omelette, baguette with butter and jam, coffee, and freshly squeezed orange juice. theres nothing better than a full belly on a sunny day in paris, and i think one of the kindest gifts someone can give is a meal.

i am writing from the plane to berlin. march stands before me like an ominous figure. my goals this month, the things i have to look forward to, are more abstract. i want to spend more quality time with people, see live music, play live music, make my host family feel good, read, exercise and spend time on my bike and outdoors, improve my german grammar, see good films and save money/spend less. i am bursting with passions and ideas and if i don’t continue to push myself to stay active, to move and listen, to write letters and reflect, to accept and be patient, then i run the risk of submitting to their threat of dominating my headspace. this would look like: depression, anxiety; instead of: creation, peacefulness.

and then will come spring. and we can devote ourselves to growth and renewal as if that isn’t what we’ve been doing our whole lives.