#ive stopped pretending this is relatable content and now im just using the tags on this post as my diary | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

biblicalhorror · 8 months

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You ever had a friendship where like you kind of faded out of each other's lives for a period of time and then re-bonded without ever really addressing the distance so now every time one of you mentions something you never told the other one during The Dark Time you both just have to be like "yeah, this massive thing that happened to me that we didn't talk about at the time but I totally wanted to tell you about but it felt like I couldn't talk to you but I'm also not gonna say it was your fault because I don't want to drive you away again but I know and you know exactly what it is we're not talking about"

#like. i dont blame her for what happened #she was going through a lot of bullshit and i was getting into my current relationship with our mutual friend #and the mutual friend in question it turns out had rejected her like a month and a half before asking me out #so like. things were weird and i dont blame her for not wanting to make a whole thing out of it #and i also get how it would be hard to see me like that with someone you had interest in #but also from my perspective at the time i started dating a boy i liked and my best friend just decided she couldnt be around me anymore #and even though i now have the full context and it doesnt hurt as badly theres still a part of me carrying resentment over it #ive stopped pretending this is relatable content and now im just using the tags on this post as my diary #like on the one hand i know this friendship is worth it because we're stronger than ever now #and shes gotten so much better about vulnerability and admitting i matter to her and communicating in general #but on the other hand it just keeps feeling like theres this elephant in the room that neither one of us has any idea how to address #and like i dont even know if it would be better if we did address it #like 'hey btw i know you had a crush on my now bf and tried to kiss him one time and then didnt tell me when he shrugged you off'#'i also know how much you tried to pretend it didnt hurt you but you distanced yourself from half your friends to avoid having to face it'#'and at the time it was rly frustrating because you acted like me being happy in a healthy relationship was a personal inconvenience to u'#'but i understand now and i forgive you and im glad you came back around eventually because i love you and i missed you'#or can all of those things just remain unsaid and understood

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