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#like. i dont blame her for what happened
biblicalhorror · 8 months
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You ever had a friendship where like you kind of faded out of each other's lives for a period of time and then re-bonded without ever really addressing the distance so now every time one of you mentions something you never told the other one during The Dark Time you both just have to be like "yeah, this massive thing that happened to me that we didn't talk about at the time but I totally wanted to tell you about but it felt like I couldn't talk to you but I'm also not gonna say it was your fault because I don't want to drive you away again but I know and you know exactly what it is we're not talking about"
#like. i dont blame her for what happened#she was going through a lot of bullshit and i was getting into my current relationship with our mutual friend#and the mutual friend in question it turns out had rejected her like a month and a half before asking me out#so like. things were weird and i dont blame her for not wanting to make a whole thing out of it#and i also get how it would be hard to see me like that with someone you had interest in#but also from my perspective at the time i started dating a boy i liked and my best friend just decided she couldnt be around me anymore#and even though i now have the full context and it doesnt hurt as badly theres still a part of me carrying resentment over it#ive stopped pretending this is relatable content and now im just using the tags on this post as my diary#like on the one hand i know this friendship is worth it because we're stronger than ever now#and shes gotten so much better about vulnerability and admitting i matter to her and communicating in general#but on the other hand it just keeps feeling like theres this elephant in the room that neither one of us has any idea how to address#and like i dont even know if it would be better if we did address it#like 'hey btw i know you had a crush on my now bf and tried to kiss him one time and then didnt tell me when he shrugged you off'#'i also know how much you tried to pretend it didnt hurt you but you distanced yourself from half your friends to avoid having to face it'#'and at the time it was rly frustrating because you acted like me being happy in a healthy relationship was a personal inconvenience to u'#'but i understand now and i forgive you and im glad you came back around eventually because i love you and i missed you'#or can all of those things just remain unsaid and understood
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writer-room · 16 days
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Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.
Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#lego ninjago#dragons rising#bonzle#finders#cole#cole brookstone#geo#fritz#spitz#text post#angst#talk#LISTEN TO ME#COLE LOST 2 WHOLE FAMILY MEMBERS DURING THAT BLOOD MOON#HES GOING TO NOT BE OKAY!!!!!!! HES DOING SO BAD#mans is a FATHER and he PROMISED he'd keep his kid safe. he promised it to the OTHERS#and hes going to have to walk back up those steps and admit to being a LIAR and a FAILURE#hes not obviously sht just went sideways but you KNOW he blames himself#geo very worriedly stayed behind w fritz & spitz FULLY TRUSTING that cole would keep bonzle safe & bring her back#he loves him so much (in a gay way. u know it to be true) so he trusts him IMPLICITLY to keep them safe. hes done it before#can you imagine the HORROR when cole comes back and hes...alone. with no one else but the other ninja (minus 1)#geo realizing what happened before the kids. the way everything just freezes and drops. cole curled so tight in on himself#and cole cant say hes sorry because he cant even look at them. he lost family hes had for over a decade & a kid he claimed his own for year#you saw how he was w child wu. you saw how desperate he was to keep bonzle safe. AND KAI IS GONE TOO???#homeboy is having the literal worst day ever. imagine him trying to tuck fritz & spitz close while on one knee trying to explain it all#and bro jsut feels like hes literally the worst person in the world#something something 'you dont get to stay with the ninja & be happy. i tried to protect you from what hurt me as a kid'#'and instead your right in the thick of it'
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dailykugisaki · 3 months
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Day 107 | id in alt
Imaginary technique: Narrative brain damage.
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girlcrushau · 1 month
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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jonny-b-meowborn · 11 months
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As time goes by I'm becoming more and more sure that I just can't survive on my own. I can take basic care of myself, but the second I have to go to a doctor or do some formal stuff I get paralyzed. I just can't. Fuck, I can barely even talk to strangers in general. Or even not strangers, I can't fucking text someone back if I'm not close to them, it's just so scary and exhausting. I'm becoming emotionally tired more easily and sometimes even talking with my mom about anything is too much for me and I love my mom. And I really need her, I can't do basic stuff without her pretty much holding my hand all the time. I can't get a normal job. We went to this blueberry plantation a few times but I just couldn't go there without her, and now the job is over and we can't go there at all. If I wasn't such a fucking baby I'd go there a few more times alone and get some money. I can't make calls, there's literally like two people I feel comfortable talking on the phone with. People used to say I was mature for my age when I was younger but I never grew up and now I'm almost 21 and can't do anything with my life. I'm scared of everything, I'm constantly exhausted physically and mentally. I'm like a fucking child. I'm scared that I'm gonna have to live with my mom my whole life. I can't see a future for myself, I'm just not able to survive without help and at some point I won't be able to get help, I don't want to be a parasite living off of my mom's money but I don't see anything else I could do. I hate my brain so much. I hate the way it refuses to work. I hate myself for being such a child.
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fatestouch · 5 months
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“Doesn’t she look pretty on King Aiden’s arm~?”
“He’s one smitten king, I would say.”
“One of many royals. I heard he was planning A. The back up plan was the crown prince of Greenhaven~”
Just the other night, Allisae was happily stargazing with him in the gardens. Now Azrael was forbidden from her chambers—from the East castle entirely. The princess wouldn’t even look him in the eye whenever she passed by wrapped in King Aiden’s arm. Avelan clammed up whenever he was asked for an explanation and made excuses to leave. The entire palace was suddenly giving him the cold shoulder as whispers and gossip flitted about— attacking Azrael’s pride and worthiness for marriage or outright pitying him, as though he’s been cheated in some way.
Everything changed in the span of a day. The last night they went stargazing, and Azrael preferred to watch Allisae's smile, rather than the night sky... he imagined the life they could have together. A life where Azrael--hopeless romantic that he was--could help her smile like this every day.
And then, in an instant... it was all over.
Allisae was now engaged to King Aiden. Azrael was forbidden from seeing her, even talking to her. It wasn't too long after Cecil and Avelan's engagement has been announced... and the alliance between Greenhaven and Vanystea was all but secured.
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It didn't take a genius to figure out that Azrael had essentially been replaced, for a better option.
It was equal parts heartbreaking, infuriating, and humiliating. With the refusal of any sort of actual explanation, the sting of gossip behind his back...
The prince didn't want to be angry with her... he knew how the Emperor operated. But even so... Allisae refusing to even look at him burned. It burned to viciously and deeply that Azrael had no choice but to lock it away. If only to save his own pride.
King Aiden and Princess Allisae's wedding would be the last Vanystea would see Greenhaven's Crown Prince for a long, long time.
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miraculouslycool · 1 year
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k i'm gonna say it, marinette's reaction was underwhelming and i hate it (ranting in the tags because i don't wanna expose people to too much)
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adriles · 1 year
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"this is going to be so cool" i board the ships of the trojan contingent, aware of but refusing to acknowledge the horrific fate that now awaits.
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hella1975 · 7 months
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hiii i'm really sorry this is kind of a Lot but um. is it bad to leave a toxic friendship by absolutely verbally destroying the other party? because like. i think i may have broken the geneva convention with some of the things i've just said to this girl. but she started it! she called me a stone cold bitch so i said she only dates narcissistic sex offenders i feel like i may have overstepped. but it is true she is currently dating someone accused of assualt so. we both leave for uni soon so i won't see her again but like i just feel BAD and NOT GOOD about being so mean even tho she cheated on my closest friend. i also said she was a pathological cheater which IS very true but i feel may have warped her perspective somewhat. is it just a rite of passage to have that one friendship that implodes spectacularly or am i doing this wrong
'she started it! she called me a stone cold bitch so i said she only dates narcissistic sex offenders'
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Dude i love that Spitelout is finally getting the hate he deserves and lemme give another take on it
So Spitelout is clearly toxic, it's in his nature. It's what he breaths and speaks. And Snotlout can't be the only victim of this fact as we know he has a mom who clearly cares for him.
If Spitelout brings so much pain to his son, how much must he bring to his wife the moment she steps out of line, like when Snotlout does something Spitelout doesn't approve of? And how much must it hurt momma Snotlout to see her son be so abused by his father, man who was supposed to love and cherish him and teach him the good things?
Conclusion, im sure there's is a lot more abuse happening in the Jorgenson household, which absolutely sucks and we should burn Spitelout at the stakes
THIS THIS THIS YES
Like yeah!!! Snotlout's dad sucks from what we SEE, but Hiccup's house in RoB/DoB is seen like, what, 8 times? and hes the main character. We never get to really see whats going on in Snotlouts house. We see him in RoB/DoB out and about, and in rtte on the edge. He could be so much worse than we think and we'd never even know
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gibbearish · 3 days
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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screamingay · 4 days
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yet another dream about killing someone and trying to cover it up.. this is normal right
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 days
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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In season 3 luz should have A Crisis and then hunter can teach her the breathing thing. and then later amity should have A Crisis and luz will teach her the breathing thing. and finally willow will have A Crisis and amity can remind her to do the breathing thing. her act of kindness towards gus finally circles back to her after several years. and it’ll be the conclusion to the arc of willow and amity becoming friends again
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sentofight · 3 months
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ooc. magic vs alchemy thread when?? aside from that, i wanna think more about older edward. traveling further and into a different direction from Al makes me cry a little bit. like, they haven't been away for a long time (lets not talk about THAT moment thank you very much). he'd most likely be defaulted to papa ed mode XD maes hughes raised him well ok?
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grimmjowjaegerjaquez · 3 months
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if i was someone with any kind of consistency i couldve been known for ach'm. my stupid sexy frog man. (who is also a cyborg)
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