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downthe-f4ndom-rabbith0le · 4 months

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As Brave As You Are (Newt x Reader) - A Maze Runner Story

As Brave As You Are (Newt x Reader) Reader Insert: she/her pronouns Word Count: 12,051 Warnings: death, bloody wounds, fighting, mental and physical torture, guns, suicidal thoughts and actions Spoilers: no spoilers because the books and films came out ages ago

After helping Newt recover from his ankle injury, Y/N and Newt formed an unbreakable bond that always had them looking out for each other. When they escaped the Maze, then navigated the Scorch, they always had each other’s back. It isn’t until Y/N is captured alongside Minho by WCKD and Newt contracts the Flare that he realises how he truly feels about Y/N.

Problem is, will he rescue her in time to tell her?

Note: I'm back in my dystopian future era thanks to the new Hunger Games film so of course I had to write for my original YA crush. This piece is based on the movie series mainly. Don't get mad at me, I love the books more, but I can appreciate the storylines that came out of the path they took with the films. And if there is one thing the TMR fandom can agree on, it is that the film cast was the best cast ever for the series. So enjoy - not sorry that it's horrendously long, Newt deserves it xx

‘Medjack! Medjack, now!’

Y/N recognised it was Minho was calling for help. Clint and Jeff ran out of the med hut to see what all the commotion was. It wasn’t long before they were hurrying back inside, carrying Newt of all people between them, Minho and Alby in tow.

‘Clear the table,’ Clint ordered, and Y/N quickly followed through, practically throwing off containers, bowls and medical instruments to get Newt on there as quick as possible. Once Newt was up, Y/N finally noticed the unnatural twist in his ankle and it almost sent Frypan’s sloppy sweet potato soup right back up.

She was still pretty new to her job as a Medjack, being the greenie and all. She was the only girl in the Glade of the current twelve residents, so she was intimidated at first as to what role she could play in the place. Medjack seemed the most suitable, and she seemed to have a knack for it, having stitched up some eyebrows and cleaned up knee scrapes with ease and precision.

But even though she’d seen blood, dealt with displaced bones and joints, she still got queasy doing her job. It didn’t help that Newt was hissing through clenched teeth from the intense pain, an occasional sob passing through.

‘What happened?’ Y/N asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Minho said. ‘We split up for only five minutes. I thought we could cover more ground that way. And we’ve run that part of the Maze like a hundred times already. I thought we’d be fine…’

Clint held Newt down as Jeff and Y/N took a look at Newt’s ankle. Jeff only pressed gently with his fingers around the bone, but Newt’s responding howls confirmed the severity of the injury.

‘The bone is completely shattered,’ Jeff said grimly. ‘We’re going to need to reset his foot first though. Y/N?’

‘On it.’ She rushed to a shelf that held bandages, then to a cupboard with flat boards about shin length. She grabbed two of those before heading back to the table.

‘You’re going to have to hold him down,’ Y/N directed at Alby and Minho, gesturing to follow Clint’s efforts. Then she turned to Newt, whose face was slicked with tears and sweat as he continued to writhe in pain. ‘Newt. Newt, can you open your eyes for me? I need you to focus on me.’

To his credit, Newt opened his eyes and he didn’t look away from her.

‘Good. Good, Newt,’ she said. ‘Now, we have to realign your foot. It’s going to hurt a lot. We’ll go on three, okay?’

In the short time Y/N had known Newt – which arguably was no time at all, as he ran every day and she was in the Medjack hut all day. They didn’t interact unless he or another runner got hurt, or at dinner if only to say hello. Even so, she had come to know he liked it plain and straight, no bullshit. So, despite his pain, he took two deep, calming breaths and gave her a nod to say he was ready for what they had to do.

Y/N nodded back, then looked to the others, who had their hands braced on all Newt’s limbs. ‘Ready?’ she asked, to which they nodded in reply. Y/N gently held Newt’s ankle, eliciting a quiet whimper from the boy. ‘Okay, on three. One, two…’ She cut herself off as she slammed her hands either side the ankle bone, causing a loud cracking sound as the ankle snapped back into place.

Newt’s wail of pain must’ve been heard from across the whole Glade it was so loud. He writhed and pulled to sit up, but the boys held him down as Y/N and Jeff bandaged the two splints either side of Newt’s ankle. Jeff then dabbed a small dose of chloroform in a cloth and pressed it to Newt’s nose. Soon enough, the boy was unconscious, finally pain-free.

‘You guys go have dinner,’ Y/N said to Clint and Jeff a little while later as they were cleaning up the hut. Alby and Minho had left soon after Newt fell asleep, but it was almost dinner time now. ‘I’ll stay with Newt tonight.’

‘You sure?’ Clint asked. ‘We can do shifts if you’d prefer.’

Y/N shook her head. ‘I insist. You guys rest up. I can do this. Consider this my final test to becoming a fully-fledged Medjack.’

Jeff chuckled. ‘You have much more to learn, Greenie, but suit yourself.’

‘We’ll bring you back some food, Y/N,’ Clint said as he and Jeff left the hut, leaving Y/N to idly clean up.

Newt woke up from a dull throbbing in his ankle, which turned into a harsh pain, causing him to sit up in alarm.

‘Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,’ a voice gently said as equally gentle hands pushed him back down.

‘My ankle,’ he said, voice hoarse and dry. ‘It hurts…’

The face of the voice finally came into view: it was the Greenie. Y/N offered him a small smile as he finally recognised her. In one hand, she held a needle with clear serum. Her other she offered to his leg. ‘May I? It’ll help, I promise.’

He hesitated for a moment, but the intense pain in his ankle broke his composure as he eagerly nodded. The painkiller worked immediately, and Newt sighed with relief as the throbbing eased significantly.

’There,’ Y/N said, wiping the needle. ’That should help for a bit. Sadly, we don’t have much left for me to give you more than once a day, but I’m hoping you won’t need it beyond the end of the month.’

Confusion clouded Newt’s mind as he tried to process her words. ‘What… What happened?’ But he answered his own question as images of the Maze flashed through his mind, and he remembered it all. How he bid farewell to Minho. How he climbed as high as he could along the Maze walls. How easy it was to let go.

Then the pain fully encompassed him, and then it was just a blur. How Minho found him. How Clint and Jeff laid him on the table he realised he was still on. How angry and embarrassed he felt having his friends see him broken and miserable.

Newt managed to pull himself into a sitting position, propping a pillow behind him to cushion the hut wall. ‘How bad is it?’ he asked glumly, eyes unable to lift from his injury.

He couldn’t be bothered with pleasantries. He was too tired, and, frankly, saw no point in keeping up appearances anymore.

To her credit, Y/N seemed to pick up on his mood, saying, ‘It will heal to a point you’ll be able to walk again. But it won’t ever heal properly.’

‘You mean I’ll have a limp?’

‘Potentially.’

’So I can’t be a Runner anymore?’ Y/N didn’t reply, finally drawing Newt’s attention away from the source of his pain and to her.

Newt had only interacted with Y/N on a few occasions. Mainly at mealtimes or the odd occasion he passed her by on the way back from a run, only talking as much as greeting and farewelling one another. As the only girl so far, of course he found her intriguing, but he never had time nor a reason to get to know her.

And while he’d come to think of her as the quiet and gentle Medjack in comparison to Clint and Jeff, he didn’t see an ounce of pity on her face as she looked at him. Only quiet contemplation, as if there could be any other answer but no to his question.

‘I guess that’s up to you and Alby,’ she finally said. ‘I mean, I know what I should say is no. I’m sure Clint and Jeff will say no. But it’ll more so come down to if you want to go back in or not.’ Her eyes flickered to his ankle, sadness glazing her eyes briefly before returning to him. ‘But I think I can take a guess as to what your answer will be.’

Newt’s gut twisted with guilt and shame that she’d figured it out, and his face flushed with embarrassment and anger. ‘So, you going to tell everyone?’ he asked, words thick with hopelessness. ‘I mean, that’s your job, right? Diagnose me, then tell Alby, then the whole glade how pathetic I am?’

Y/N shook her head. ‘I think you give me too much credit. I’m not an actual doctor, you know,’ she said, coming to stand beside him. She inspected his ankle for a moment, then turned her gaze to him, and it shocked him to see such intensity in her eyes. It was as if suddenly he was the most interesting person in the world.

‘I can say it was a running accident,’ she finally concluded. ‘You can tell your truth when you’re ready. It’s not my place to take away hope when the others are so full of it right now. That includes me.’

He stared, stunned, as she packed up the last of her things by a spare medical cot at the other end of the hut. It wasn’t until she let out a loud yawn that Newt noticed it was dark outside. The silence of the Glade told him everyone else had gone to bed so it was late. Or early, he couldn’t really tell.

Y/N fluffed a sad excuse of a pillow and put it on the cot. ‘Now that I know you’re alive, are you going to be okay if I get a few minutes shut eye? I can stay up if you’d like.’

Now that the initial shock and embarrassment of the day’s events had subsided, Newt realised how exhausted he was still. ‘No, that’s okay,’ he said. ‘I think I should rest a bit more anyway.’

Y/N nodded and swung her legs up to lie down fully. Newt went to slide himself and his pillow back down to do the same when Y/N spoke again.

‘And Newt?’ she said, her voice soft and almost hesitant.

‘Yeah?’ he called back.

She was silent for so long Newt thought she’d gone to sleep. But then she spoke. ‘For the record, I don’t think you’re pathetic. For wanting it all to end, that is. I actually think what you did was really brave. You might be scared and maybe out of hope, but at least you did something about it. The rest of us can only hope to be as brave as you.’

Newt’s breath caught in his chest as it swelled with a mix of emotions. Brave? What he did was the act of a coward. Tears streamed silently down his face, both from a deep shame, but also a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time.

The rest of us can only hope to be as brave as you…

Newt had lost all hope after a year of searching for a way out and finding nothing. But she didn’t know that, and neither will the next Greenie, or the Greenie after that. Even some of the boys already in the Glade didn’t know that. That’s why they waited every day for the runners – for him – to come back with news, with a shred of hope that they’d get out of there soon.

Newt twisted himself so he could see Y/N, who was rolled away from him, her body rising and falling with the rhythm of sleep. Even if he thought it would all be hopeless in the end, some truly believed they would get out of here.

And maybe that was something worth fighting for.

Two years on and Newt and Y/N had managed to forge something akin to a friendship.

Y/N had kept her word and said Newt had had a running accident, and he’d agreed with her for the sake of his worried friends. Y/N had also been right about his ankle; it healed to point where he could walk and do a decent jog with a limp. But he would never run again.

He was transferred to work as a Track-Hoe in the gardens with Zart. But it wasn’t all bad. As more boys arrived – never any girls much to their confusion – Newt developed a knack for leading others, for diffusing hard situations, and for wrangling the boys into line. Because of that, he was promoted to Alby’s second-in-command, which gave him more meaningful work to do than just the gardens – stuff that might actually get him and the other Gladers out of the bloody Maze.

It also meant he had more time to talk to Y/N. He would make sure to drop by once a day (and not just at mealtimes) to check in on her. For a time, he convinced himself he did that because it was his job as second-in-command to keep up group morale, and he would visit everyone in the Glade. Eventually, however, he realised it was because he genuinely enjoyed her company.

Since that night, Y/N had come out of her shell more. Still a little shy and apprehensive at times, but she would openly joke and play along with the boys’ antics. She was more confident in her work as a Medjack too, not afraid to boss Clint and Jeff around if she needed something from them.

Newt’s visits became longer, as they talked about any and all things. Aside from Alby and Minho, Newt considered Y/N one of his closest friends. And she must’ve felt the same – or at least in a similar fashion – as she entertained his thoughts about life beyond the Maze, and the rants he would go on thanks to whichever stupid shank put the fertiliser in the wrong place.

It was a friendship built on mutual respect and genuine care for one another, something that helped Newt convince Y/N to come with him and the others when they finally decided to leave the Maze. But he couldn’t help but feel a deep dread and guilt as he waited behind Thomas, knowing that Grievers were right around the corner.

While the others caught up, Newt turned to Y/N – who’d been helping him through the Maze with his limp – and offered her a spare spear he’d been carrying.

Her eyes widened at his offering. ‘I can’t take that. I can’t fight.’

‘Well, you can’t just go in there without something to protect yourself,’ he said, this time forcibly handing the spear over. Y/N clutched the spear awkwardly, and Newt saw the uncertainty in her eyes, in her trembling hands.

Newt felt bad for making her hold such a violent weapon. All her hands had ever done were help people, save them at times. Now he was asking her to kill. It was for the greater good they both knew, but to kill, nonetheless.

Newt placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and locked eyes with her. ‘Hey,’ he said softly, ‘you stay with me the whole time, do you understand? I promise you won’t have to use that unless absolute necessary.’

Y/N bit her lip to stop it trembling too, but she nodded, steeling herself in preparation for the fight ahead. Newt reciprocated the action and gave her shoulder a final squeeze before turning to face Thomas as he explained the plan.

They fought the Grievers, taking down a few while some of them took down Gladers. The Gladers were backed against the door that Teresa and Chuck were trying to open with a code. Minho shouted numbers at them as he, Newt, and the others fended off one last Griever.

Before he could finish, Minho was caught by a Griever, and Clint ran out to save him. But the Griever’s tail caught him, sending him over the edge of the walkway they fought on with one flick.

‘Clint!’

Before Newt could stop her, Y/N rushed out from behind him, spear drawn back and flying at the Griever in seconds. Not being a fighter to begin with, let alone a good one, the spear bounced off its metal leg without much effect. It did, however, alert the Griever to her presence, turning all its attention to her. Minho leapt to his feet, finally free, and ran back to the group. ‘Y/N!’ he cried as he ran. ‘Run!’

Y/N seemed to finally realise her situation, looking up at the Griever frozen with fear. The horrible creature raised its claw to end her, but Newt moved faster.

He ran as fast as he could, limp be damned, past Y/N and threw his spear at the Griever’s head. It landed true, puncturing one of the creature’s bulbous eyes, drawing a painful screech from it. Newt didn’t wait to see what it would do next, as he grabbed one of Y/N’s arms and Minho grabbed the other and ran back to the group, practically throwing her behind the front line and against the door.

Teresa finally got the door open and the Gladers tumbled in, Thomas throwing one last spear down the Griever’s throat as the doors closed.

Lights flickered on to show they were in some empty room with a door on the wall behind them leading to a corridor.

Thomas looked at the group, taking heavy breaths. ‘Everyone okay?’

‘What’s left of us, that is,’ Winston said, his tone sad and regretful.

As Newt eyed the group, he noted how many they’d lost, how little their group seemed all of a sudden.

Minho stepped ahead with Thomas, pointing towards the door. ‘Well? It’s not going to open itself.’

As Minho and Thomas led the group to the exit, Newt turned to Y/N, whose eyes had a distant look glazed over them. ‘What were you thinking?’ he asked, bringing her attention to him. ‘I told you to stay behind me. You could’ve been killed.’

‘I-I know. I’m sorry,’ she stuttered out, tears teetering in her E/C eyes. ‘I just… Clint… It all happened so fast, and I was just kind of moving before I knew what I was doing.’ She looked down at her hands then, and Newt noticed a slight tremble to them. ‘I thought I could help, but I was too slow. And I put you guys in danger too. I’m just… I’m sorry.’

Newt’s guilt came back full force then. He placed a gentle hand over her trembling one, grasping her fingers to stop their shaking. When she looked up at him confused, he just said, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you into thinking you had to fight. You won’t ever hold a weapon like that again. I promise.’

Y/N opened her mouth to object no doubt, but Newt cut her off. ‘But you have to promise me something back. Promise me that you’ll let us protect you. You can help by keeping us alive, just like you always have. But you’ve got to listen to me, you got it?’

He used his authoritative voice this time, and it seemed to work as Y/N calmed down, her unshed tears now gone.

‘Okay,’ she said, quiet but strong. ‘I promise.’

Newt nodded. ‘Good that.’ He turned to see the others leaving through the door then turned back to Y/N. ’Do you think we’d be lucky enough not to face anything else beyond those doors.’

‘I think we should consider ourselves lucky for getting this far.’ To her credit, Y/N managed a small smile as she looked up at him. ‘But why should our luck run out now?’

There it was again; the glimmer of hope Newt had felt from her since the night he injured his ankle. Newt couldn’t deny that they’d made it this far – by design or by luck, they’d made it.

And who was he to deny that things might be on the look up for them now?

Together, Y/N and Newt followed the rest of the Gladers to meet their makers.

‘I never thought I’d say this… but I miss the Glade.’

The group around the fire grew silent at the implication Frypan’s words had, the memories they conjured up. Y/N couldn’t help but agree as she looked into the dark sky above her, peaking from behind the crumbling pillars they took refuge under.

The sky was always so clear back in the Glade, she recalled silently. But, just like their current situation, the sky was now obscured.

The people who rescued them from the Maze were actually WCKD – the people who’d put them in the Maze in the first place. The past twelve hours had seen herself, Newt, Thomas, Minho, Frypan, Winston, and a boy named Aris find Teresa, break out of the facility, and enter the deadly Scorch. In their search for supplies, they’d been attacked by crazed, infected people, driving the group to hide where they were.

The Maze was dangerous, but it was familiar and the only home Y/N recalled ever having. Out in the Scorch, safety wasn’t guaranteed.

She looked to Winston, who laid back, his shirt pulled up to expose the bloody bandage she’d wrapped his torso in. Y/N tried not to think about the infected scratch marks underneath, and more specifically what gave them to him. The Grievers were one thing, but the things that attacked them? They used to be people.

Not wanting to sit in her thoughts anymore, Y/N stood up, brushed off her pants, and grabbed knife from their pile of weapons they’d found in the abandoned mall. ‘I’ll take first watch.’

She didn’t wait to hear if anyone objected, already walking around the stone that covered them so she was on top. To her relief, the others let her go without argument, putting out the fire and quickly settling down to sleep.

After half an hour, Y/N decided to get up and patrol around the area, knife tightly gripped in her hand and her footsteps quiet despite the sand.

There was so much of it, the sand. The lady in white – Doctor Ava Paige – had said in her video that the whole world was just desert now. The thought made Y/N yearn for the Glade even more. For the grass, and the woods, and the bonfires they used to have, and the games they played. The boys – Clint, Jeff, Alby, Gally, Chuck.

Y/N wasn’t a hateful person, but she clutched the knife tighter at the thought of all the loss they’d all suffered at the hands of WCKD.

It’s why she didn’t hesitate to follow Newt when he’d found her in her room – for some reason, she hadn’t been allowed to stay with the other girls from the other mazes just yet. It’s why they were now braving the Scorch searching for people that Thomas didn’t know even existed. They wanted a better life out from under WCKD’s thumb.

The crunch of sand had her whirling around, awkwardly poising the knife as if to attack, but she relaxed at the familiar person standing there.

Newt raised his hands in mock surrender. ‘Whoa there,’ he said, the quirk of a smile on his lips telling her he was just joking. ‘You could do some real damage if you’re not careful.’

Y/N blew out in relief, the knife dropping to her side again. ‘Thanks, but we both know that’s not the case, Newt.’

Newt shoved his hands in his jacket pocket, shrugging his shoulders as he did. ‘I don’t know, I’ve seen you with a scalpel. Absolutely terrifyingly precise with that thing.’

Y/N chuckled softly, appreciative of the distraction. But her smile dropped as she looked out into the dark cityscape. The moon hid behind clouds so Y/N couldn’t make out anything. ‘Is it pathetic that I’m scared to see what the world has become?’ she asked, not daring to raise her voice above a soft mumble.

Newt stepped up beside her, his body radiating the last remnants of heat from the fire and it warmed her slightly. ’Someone once told me that I was brave for facing my fear,’ he said after some quiet contemplation.

Y/N looked up at him confused, but he looked down at her with a knowing, smug smile. Much to her chagrin, she couldn’t help but chuckle and shake her head at him. ‘I don’t recall saying that specifically. But if that’s how you saw it, who am I to tell you that wasn’t what I meant?’

Newt hummed in agreement looking back out at the dark expanse, contemplation scrunching his brows together. ‘I’ll be honest with you, I’m scared too.’

That surprised Y/N. Newt, second-in-command, casual, leader Newt was scared? ‘You are?’

Newt nodded. ‘I’m scared that we’ve made a mistake. That Thomas is wrong and there aren’t any mountain people.’ He turned back to Y/N, the most serious she’d ever seen him. ‘I’m scared we’re going to lose more of us, and then what was our escape for? But… it’s not my place to take away hope when the others are so full of it. Including myself.’ Finally, Newt’s smile returned, and it warmed that cold pit of despair Y/N had been falling into ever since they left the WCKD facility. ‘Or, at least, I think that’s what someone very wise once told me.’

Y/N stared at him, awestruck. Hopeful. Newt was hopeful again. And she didn’t want to read into it, but she thought the knowing smile he was giving her told her that she had something to do with it. The thought alone strengthened her resolve, and she looked down at the knife in her hands, less afraid of it all of a sudden.

Y/N held it out to Newt. ’Teach me.’

He raised an eyebrow in a silent question. ‘What?’

’Teach me. How to fight,’ Y/N explained, eyes unwavering from his.

Concern flashed across Newt’s face for a brief moment. ‘Y/N, I told you, you don’t have to fight if you don’t want to.’

‘If there is one thing I’ve come to know about WCKD is that it doesn’t actually matter what I want anymore. What any of us want,’ Y/N said, feeling the most certain she’s felt in a long time. ‘The one thing we have on WCKD is that we are defiant. We escaped, and are taking away the one thing they want most of all: a chance to find a cure. So, if we’re going to have any hopes of making it to the mountains alive, I’m going to have to know how to fight. So please – teach me.’

Newt contemplated her for a moment, and Y/N just prayed he wouldn’t say no. Or even worse, laugh. Instead of doing either, he took the knife from Y/N’s hand, his fingers brushing across her palm as he did.

‘All right,’ he said, moving his feet apart to get into a fighting stance. ‘First of all, you’ve got to have a wide-ish stance, and stay light on your toes so you can control when you back away from your opponent.’

He demonstrated the movement by quickly shuffling away, always keeping his feet a certain distance apart and the knife gripped tight by his hip. ‘…and when you go into attack.’ He moved so fast Y/N didn’t see his footwork, her eyes locked on his as they bored into hers, knife poised at her neck as if he’d strike.

He stepped away and gave her the knife back. ‘You think you can do that?’

Y/N nodded and took the knife, and for the next hour Newt taught Y/N basic blocks and manoeuvres that he’d picked up from Thomas and Minho and just from basic instinct. Just like she’d been with her Medjack skills, Y/N was a quick study, performing move after move when Newt asked her to.

She impressed herself. For a natural pacifist, she wielded the knife quite fluently.

They decided to finish the session on a quick sparring match. Newt took a swipe at Y/N, and she stepped back just like Newt had taught her. She then rushed in for an attack, to which Newt threw up his own knife in time to block. Y/N anticipated the pushback and twisted out of Newt’s way as he stumbled slightly forward. While he was disorientated, Y/N gripped his wrist that controlled his knife and pointed her own into his back.

‘Looks like I win,’ she said, breathless but proud.

Y/N didn’t like the carefree scoff he gave her, followed by, ‘Are you sure?’

She doubted herself for a moment, loosening her grip enough for him to twist out of her reach, knock her knife away and bend to sweep her legs out from underneath her. Y/N landed hard, groaning at the pain in her butt as Newt looked down at her and laughed.

‘I’m glad you find my pain amusing, Newt,’ she grumbled, rubbing her sore behind.

Newt laughed for a moment longer then calmed down. But his radiant smile remained on his face, brightening the darkness surrounding them. ‘I’m sorry, love,’ he said between remaining chuckles. To his credit, he held out his hand in an offer to help her up. ’But the surprise on your face was priceless.’

Y/N contemplated his hand for a moment, whether she should just push it away or take it. Instead, an idea came to mind, and she gripped his hand tightly then pulled him to the ground with her. He landed on his stomach beside her, getting a face full of sand.

Y/N let out a loud laugh before quickly covering her mouth to stifle the relentless laughter that wished to burst from her.

Newt spat and coughed out sand as he made to sit up. ‘Well,’ he started, spitting out more sand as he looked up at Y/N, ‘I should’ve seen that coming.’

That just made Y/N laugh even harder, using now both hands to quieten the giggles. Goodness, when was the last time she’d laughed this freely? When was the last time she’d felt such joy? After everything they’d been through, Y/N was worried she’d forgotten what was like to laugh.

When she’d calmed down, she looked down to see Newt propped up on his arms looking up at her with an odd expression on his face. Like he was in awe, maybe. Whatever it was, it made Y/N acknowledge how handsome Newt had become. His baby features had faded since she’d first met him, being replaced by a lean figure and a toned jawline from working in the gardens every day for two years. And with his big brown eyes, tousled blond hair and funny accent, Y/N wondered how he had changed so much without her realising it. How she hadn’t realised he’d grown up.

The intensity with which he looked at her brought a heated blush to her face, and so she turned away into the cool night breeze, willing the blush to cool down. Newt shuffled to sit up next to her. They didn’t speak for a minute, until Newt suddenly stood up.

‘Well, um,’ he started, and for the first time since Y/N had known him, he sounded uncertain about what to say. ‘I better let you continue with your shift. At least you know how to defend yourself now.’

Y/N hastily stood up as well, making sure there was at least a step between them. ‘Yes!’ she said. ‘Thank you for that. I’ll be sure to practice.’

‘Good that.’

They looked at each other for a moment, and even though Newt said he was leaving, he made no move to leave. Maybe he doesn’t want to, she thought, and the mere possibility of that being true warmed her heart.

But he took a step away, gave her a shy smile and a small wave farewell. ‘Goodnight, Y/N.’

‘Goodnight Newt,’ she said, those two words hanging in the air long after he’d left.

As she finally woke Frypan up for his shift, she clung to the knife and went through all the manoeuvres Newt had taught her until she fell asleep.

Newt was unable to sleep until Y/N woke Frypan up to take the next watch shift, and laid down to sleep herself. Newt opened his eyes to see Y/N laying across the pit they’d dug out for the fire. She faced him on her side, and Newt noticed with curiosity that she held the knife she’d practiced with close to her chest. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically, and paired with her heavy breathing, Newt figured she was completely asleep.

An odd sensation fluttered in his chest and stomach as Newt considered Y/N’s sleeping face. It was the same feeling that had fizzled in his chest when he’d looked up at her as she laughed. He couldn’t remember the last time any of them had laughed as freely as she had.

And he couldn’t help but admire how beautiful she looked doing so – hiding her bright smile behind trembling hands, eyes narrowed but sparkling with joy.

All because of him.

He rolled onto his back then, not wanting to give the thought anymore weight. There’s no point getting your hopes up, he reminded himself. But like a moth drawn to flame, Newt couldn’t help but tilt his head to gaze upon her peacefully sleeping. An ache carved itself deep in his heart. How had he not realised her growing up, changing? Being the only girl for a long time, of course he and the others found her pretty. But now that he looked at her – really looked at her, and wasn’t concerned with his life for just a split second – he realised just how beautiful she was.

It was in her features, but also in her determination to be better for the group. It both hurt and impressed him when she asked for his help. He promised her she would never have to fight again, but things have changed drastically since the Maze.

It was in her ability to still find the joy in things, to still be able to laugh despite their situation.

It was how she believed in Thomas, in Aris, in the mountain people, even if she was scared.

‘The rest of us can only wish to be as brave as you,’ he whispered into the night, a silent promise that he’d tell her that sometime.

And with the fluttering in his chest finally easing into a calm warmth, he finally fell asleep.

Everything exploded with chaos as Y/N, Newt, Thomas, and Minho navigated their way through the Right Arm camp as guns fired and explosions went off.

Teresa had betrayed them. Y/N couldn’t believe it when it was revealed in front of everyone, and she still couldn’t believe it as Minho pushed her head down, sheltering her from another explosion. Teresa truly believed WCKD could find a cure, but still at the expanse of Y/N and her friends’ pain. And just when Thomas was going to blow them all sky high, Jorge and Brenda had come in like a saving grace, and that’s when all hell broke loose.

‘This way!’ Thomas yelled over the din, beckoning them behind a weapons container.

However, Minho stopped suddenly and picked up a launcher. Keep going!’ Minho called over his shoulder as he shot at WCKD soldiers around him. ‘I’m right behind you!’

Thomas and Newt reached the container, but Y/N stopped and turned at the sound of a painful cry. ‘Minho!’ she cried as her friend fell, his body convulsing from a launcher shot.

‘Y/N, no!’ Newt called after her, but she was already running back to Minho, grabbing at his jacket to drag him to safety.

But Y/N was not strong like the boys, and certainly not strong enough to move Minho in any hurry. She looked up just in time to see a launcher fire at her, then her body felt like it was on fire.

She was sure she was screaming, but she couldn’t hear anything as the electricity struck every nerve with a vicious bite. After what felt like an eternity of pain, she was granted a moment of peace as her vision went white, then in a flash was swamped by darkness.

Newt’s heart stopped when he saw Y/N shot. She convulsed as Minho had, then collapsed beside their friend unconscious. The second Y/N hit the ground, Newt found his voice again, feelings of anger and desperation clawing their way through every vein in him.

‘Y/N, no!’ His cry came out broken as he made to run to her, but a strong hand gripped the back of his jacket and pulled him back.

‘No, boys,’ Vince shouted over the din, holding both Newt and Thomas back.

‘Let me go!’ Newt protested, struggling against Vince, eyes darting between him and Y/N. ‘I need to help her! Y/N!’

But WCKD soldiers were already picking up Y/N and Minho’s unconscious bodies, dragging their feet through the red dirt and into a berg.

‘I’m sorry, son,’ Vince said, and Newt thought he sounded genuine. But that didn’t stop icy terror gripping tight on his heart as the doors began to close on Y/N, Minho, and other immunes from the Right Arm.

Thomas called for Minho, and Newt called for Y/N, but neither could do anything to help their friends as they were flown away. Back in WCKD’s clutches once again.

When the sun rose, the remaining survivors came out of hiding and began scrounging up supplies. They were moving on, Vince claiming there was nothing they could do but keep going with who and what they had left.

Newt couldn’t accept that, and neither could Thomas apparently, as he claimed he was going after Minho, Y/N and the others. Without hesitation or any further explanation, Newt was the first to sign up and join him.

And so, they went on a quest to rescuing Minho, Y/N, and as many immunes as possible. The train hijack was a huge success with immune numbers, but no Minho and no Y/N. Even so, Newt refused to accept that he’d never see either of them again. Even when they almost got killed by cranks. Even when he, Thomas, Brenda, Frypan, and Jorge were almost blown up by turret guns.

Even when he found out he was infected with the Flare.

He could feel it, his mind slowly slipping away as the Flare ate away at his sanity. He was usually level-headed and rational – it’s part of the reason he became second-in-command in the first place. Guilt and shame ate away at him as he sat on the rooftop of their hideout in the outskirts of the Last City, explaining to Thomas why he just bit his head off about being in love with Teresa.

Not that I’m one to talk, he thought as he rolled down as his sleeve, silence wrapping around him and Thomas comfortably. Newt could feel Thomas didn’t know what to say, and Newt didn’t like long silences so he broke it.

‘The crazy thing, though is…’ Newt started, a soft but sad scoff escaping him, ‘I’m not scared of dying. I used to be, back in the Maze. Because it felt like my friends were dying for no reason, without purpose. But…’ Newt looked over his shoulder, past Thomas, and to the peaking spires of the Last City. To where Y/N was being held somewhere.

‘I have something to die for now,’ Newt said, eyes never wavering from the spires.

Thomas came to sit beside Newt, a sad realisation drawing his brows and lips down. ‘You’re not just talking about Minho, are you?’ he asked.

It was how gentle and matter-of-fact Thomas spoke that had Newt’s chest tightening with fear and an immense pressure he’d been scared, until now, to acknowledge. His throat threatened to close on him as he spoke, rendering his words tight and uncontrolled. ‘I failed to protect her, Tommy,’ he managed to get out. ‘I promised I’d always protect her, and I didn’t.’

It surprised Newt how simultaneously hard and easy it was to speak about his feelings, and now that he had started, the words just flowed.

’She’s just always been there, so I never saw it coming,’ Newt continued, a melancholic smile adorning his lips as he recalls the day he met you, how you helped him with his ankle. How, since then, you’ve always been by his side, growing with him, changing with him, supporting him and everyone else around you.

’Saw what?’ Thomas asked.

‘I never saw that I could have a future after the Maze, after all of this,’ Newt explained. ‘That I would want a future… with Y/N.’ And with that, his tears finally spilled over, the pressure in his chest bursting into sobs that wracked his whole body. Newt was vaguely aware that Thomas was now holding him, and so he wrapped his arms tight around his friend, around his brother.

‘I love her, Tommy,’ Newt whispered over Thomas’ shoulder, his words obscured somewhat by his tears and holding back sobs. ‘And I’m scared I’ll never be able to tell her before I go.’

‘Hey,’ Thomas said, pushing Newt to arm’s length. He kept one hand on Newt’s shoulder and used his other to grip Newt’s neck, forcing their eyes to lock. ‘We’re going to find her – and Minho, and the other immunes. We’re going to get you that serum that helps with the Flare – as much of it as possible – and you’re going to tell her. You’re not dying. No one is dying. You hear me?’

No one could replace Alby, but the way Thomas was taking control of the situation reminded Newt of his old friend. How kind yet stern he could be. How hopeful yet pragmatic he was. It was something familiar that Newt was thankful for. He quickly calmed down, wiped away his tears and nodded at Thomas.

‘Good that,’ Thomas said, a small proud smile gracing his lips at his use of Newt’s common phrase.

Newt couldn’t help a chuckle as well. ‘Good that, indeed,’ he agreed, and followed Thomas back inside the hideout to finalise their plan to get into the WCKD facility.

…and you’re going to tell her. You’re not dying.

There was a nagging voice in the back of Newt’s head that was telling him not to believe Thomas. That Newt was going to die, or worse, turn into a crank and hurt his loved ones. That voice had followed him from the Maze, to the Scorch, and now the Last City. It was the voice that had driven him over the edge of the Maze walls all those years ago. But not anymore.

Newt had to keep hope, just as Y/N had taught him. He just had to be brave.

Y/N sat in the corner of her white-walled cell, hugging her knees to her chest as she rested her head on top. She’d sat there for hours, perhaps days. Y/N lost track of time after her first month in WCKD’s facility.

There were no windows, and the lights never dimmed. She pressed her eyes into her knees in the hopes of downing out the incessant white light. Her eyes ached with sleep deprivation, but she refused to sleep. The nightmares were much worse to deal with, and they always came whenever she closed her eyes.

Images of her friends dying in the Maze and the Scorch, of Grievers chasing her, of her friends turning into cranks and attacking her. Images fed to her by WCKD.

She knew they weren’t real, but she could never wake herself up in time to escape them. So, she stayed awake, knowing that she’ll have no choice but to face her nightmares when the doctors and scientists come to test on her again.

Y/N shivered at the thought of seeing another needle, of seeing her blood drained from her while WCKD turned her mind against her. When will it be enough? She might’ve lost track of time, but Y/N knew she’d been in the facility for a while now. If they hadn’t found anything by now, something told Y/N that nothing she gave would ever be enough. That included her life.

She knew Thomas and Newt would be dumb enough to come after her and Minho – that’s just the kind of people they were. Her heart ached at the thought that their efforts would be in vain.

Y/N hadn’t seen Minho since they arrived, having been separated from each other and the other immunes. Something about how they were the most promising subjects, she overheard from a scientist one time. Y/N didn’t know if Minho was alive, and if he was, what condition he was in.

But Minho was strong, the strongest of all the Gladers in Y/N’s opinion. If he was being tortured like her, he would be able to hold on. Y/N highly doubted she would last much longer.

The rest of us can only hope to be as brave as you…

Y/N wasn’t sure if Newt knew she was actually awake that first night in the Scorch, but she’d heard him, his words so soft she thought she’d dreamt it at first. But it had been real; Newt thought she was brave.

She was too dehydrated to produce tears, but an ugly sob desperately tried to escape her aching chest. She bit her lips instead, hard enough to draw a little blood, and the sob died out, leaving her body quiet except for her mind.

I’m sorry Newt, but I am not brave.

Even so, Y/N refused to crumble to WCKD anymore. They’d taken everything from her. Her life, her memories, her loved ones, her friends. Even her hope – something she so naively believed no one could take from her. They would not take her dignity.

She raised her head at the sound of her cell door unlocking, blinking a few times as bright light flooded her vision once more. Two WCKD soldiers and two scientists stood by the door, and Y/N spied a gurney just behind them.

One of the scientists – young male, maybe in his early twenties – stepped forward. ‘Time for more testing, Y/N,’ he said in a cold tone. But he had the sense to look sympathetic as his eyes roamed over Y/N as she stood up, showing how pale her S/C skin had become, how dark the circles beneath her eyes were, how the cargo pants and grey t-shirt hung off her in areas where she used to fill.

Y/N knew it was useless, but still she ran for the door, pushing past the scientists with ease despite her weakened state. However, she hit the soldiers like a brick wall, unable to fight against them as they restrained her arms and pressed her against the wall. The male scientist recovered quickly and injected her with a serum that made her drowsy enough that she wasn’t in control of her body. She was conscious as the soldiers strapped her to the gurney and the four of them wheeled her down corridor after corridor, and all she could do was watch fluorescent lights pass her by as she stared at the ceiling.

Soon enough, she was in a familiar room: the test lab.

‘It hasn’t been that long since we last tested her,’ the other scientist – a female, about the same age as her co-worker – said, her words laced with worry. ‘We put her under again, we risk losing her for good this time.’

‘I didn’t make the call,’ the male said as he continued to set up equipment around Y/N. ‘When Janson says he wants a cure, I don’t question him. Do you?’

The female didn’t answer, switching her focus to helping her co-worker. Y/N could slowly feel the serum wearing off – it was obviously only a light dose, the scientists knowing they’d put her under when they began testing.

But just as they unstrapped her to move her to the nightmare simulator, the room shook, sending Y/N rolling to the ground as glass and steel broke around her.

Sounds were muffled briefly and her vision blurred in and out of focus. She couldn’t hear what exactly the soldiers were shouting, but she saw them run out of the room alongside other soldiers. That just left her and the scientists.

Y/N flexed her fingers, the serum completely wearing off. Before she could stand though, two hands roughly grabbed her arms and hauled her to her feet. ‘Come on, Y/N,’ the male scientist said, pushing her towards the machine. ‘Just one more trip under…’

Fear electrified Y/N’s every nerve. No, not again. With a desperate cry, she shoved the male into the utensils table, sending him and the tools scattering across the ground. Before he could get up, Y/N straddled his upper body and slammed his arms into the ground.

‘Get off me!’ he yelled, struggling violently beneath Y/N. He managed to twist them both around until she was the one pinned to the ground. Y/N struggled but to no avail. She was significantly weaker than she was when she was first captured and he knew that.

‘You little brat,’ he spat in her face. ‘Ungrateful, selfish immunes. Your duty is to save us all! You–’

He was cut off when he suddenly went slack, falling unconscious on top of Y/N. She scrambled out from underneath him, then looked up from the floor to find the female scientist with a syringe in her hand. She looked between her unconscious co-worker then Y/N, a scared and disbelieving expression morphing her delicate features.

‘Go,’ the scientist finally said, her voice shaky, but the resolve in her eyes told Y/N that she wouldn’t chase after her. The room – no, the whole building – shook again, and when Y/N looked out the window, she realised why.

The city outside was on fire. Buildings crumbled, and Y/n could hear the screams and cries of civilians through the broken windows. The scientist wouldn’t chase her because there was no point.

This was the end.

‘Go!’ The scientist insisted, and Y/N didn’t think twice. She picked herself up, ignoring the cuts and scraps of glass it caused her, and ran out of the room.

She ran into the corridor, ignoring the cries of soldiers and other scientists who recognised her as a subject. She didn’t know where she was going, but this was the most freedom she’d had in forever.

Then a thought came to her – Minho. She had to find him, he surely had to be alive. She would run through every floor if she had to to find him. So she ran, looking into every test lab, every storage closest, every break room on the floor.

‘Minho!’ she cried, uncaring at this point if someone heard her. She just wanted to find him. She didn’t want to die without a familiar face with her. ‘Minho, where are you?’

She rounded a corner, right into the chest of a WCKD soldier. He was caught by surprise, giving Y/N an opportunity to slam him into the wall. It was like her fear was giving her a boost of strength, as she kneed him in the groin, sending him to the ground. He dropped the pistol he was holding, and she quickly picked it up and smacked the butt over the back of his head. He fell to the floor in one last scuffle and laid unmoving as Y/N sucked in deep breaths.

‘Y/N?’

She whirled around at the familiar call of her name, only to find three other people had entered the corridor. Thomas, Minho, and Newt. Her eyes scanned over them all, heart aching with an intense relief it threatened to crush her chest. ‘Guys?’ Her voice was hoarse with disuse and exhaustion. She was surprised she even had a voice after all her screaming.

Newt stepped forward, a relieved smile gracing his lips. ‘Yeah, love,’ he said, sounding on the verge of tears. ‘It’s us.’

Y/N’s first instinct was to run into his arms, the only place she’d felt since leaving the Maze. But she took a closer look at him. He was paler than when she last saw him, almost sickly with how dark the circles under his eyes were. Crank.

She pointed the pistol at her friends, causing them to raise their hands in shock. ‘Whoa, Y/N, it’s us!’ Thomas exclaimed.

‘No,’ she said, her voice cracking ever so slightly. ‘How do I know I’m not in that simulator again? How do I know this isn’t just another test, another trial?’

‘What are you talking about, Y/N?’ Newt asked, worry crinkling his brow.

’She doesn’t trust her mind,’ Minho said, as if in explanation. ‘Boy, they really did a number on her…’

‘Shut up!’ Y/N unlocked the safety and pointed the gun at Minho. ‘You’re just trying to trick me. Make me think everything is all right. But it’s just a lie. You’re not here. You’re not here…’

Newt stepped into the firing line. ‘We are here, love. I promise, we’re really here.’

‘Newt…’ Thomas warned, but Newt remained, eyes locked on Y/N’s.

Y/N couldn’t look away from Newt. He sounded so genuine, so much more real than previous simulations. But WCKD couldn’t be trusted, and they were wearing soldier uniforms…

Her hands shook but her voice was strong. ‘Prove it,’ she said. ’Tell me something only the real Newt would know.’

Newt swallowed thickly. ‘Okay, um… You cut yourself when you tried out being a Slicer and had to have Clint and Jeff fix you up. That’s when you thought being a Medjack would be a good idea.’

‘WCKD was watching us the whole time. They would’ve seen that,’ she countered, using both hands to grip the gun.

‘Okay, okay,’ Newt said, looking away a moment to think of something else. When he finally looked back at her, he was calm once more, eyes genuine and sincere. ‘How about how I jumped off the walls of the Maze in an attempt to kill myself?’

The world around the four of them seemed to freeze, as if the world wasn’t collapsing outside. To Y/N’s knowledge, Newt had never told anyone the truth of what happened that day. It was the shocked and tragic expressions on both Minho and Thomas’ faces respectively that had Y/N loosening her grip on the gun slightly.

Newt took a small step closer, eyes never straying from her. ‘I had lost all hope of getting out of that bloody maze. So I did the one thing I could do to control the situation. But I failed.’ He stepped closer again. ‘I was embarrassed, ashamed. I was just a coward. But you healed me and told me something I will never forget. I have held onto it like a lifeline through the Maze, through the Scorch, and all the time I was looking for you.’

He took one final step towards her, unfazed at how the gun pressed hard against his chest. Now that he was so close, Y/N saw just how sick he was. He looked like the early stage victims of the Flare they’d seen in the decrepit city they’d lost Brenda and Thomas in temporarily. And while Y/N refused to believe Newt – her beloved, sweet Newt – was infected, his eyes were the same as always. Open, honest, and truthful.

‘The rest of us can only hope to be as brave as you.’

It wasn’t the fact that he knew the exact words – again, WCKD had cameras everywhere in that Maze, they would’ve heard it. It was instead the emotion tied to the words. She felt them, felt the lifeline they’d created for him in his darkest moment. He wasn’t lying, and that meant he was real.

Finally, she allowed the sob to break free as she dropped the gun and threw her arms around Newt’s neck. He breathed out in relief, bringing her closer to his chest, face pressed into her H/C hair.

‘It’s really you,’ she whimpered, grasping tighter to the person she’s always been able to rely on. The person who has always protected her and brought out the best in her. Her closest friend, her safety net, her home.

‘It is, love,’ he said into her hair, breathing her in deeply. ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you before.’

‘It’s okay,’ she said, pulling away to look up at him then to the other two. ‘I can’t believe you came after us.’

‘I know right,’ Minho said, punching Thomas’ arm lightly. ‘Dumb shanks.’

‘You can berate us later,’ Thomas said, rubbing his arm. ‘Right now, we’ve got to get out of here before Lawrence brings down the whole city.’

Y/N went to ask what he meant but gripped onto Newt instead as the building shook again.

‘Come on, let’s go,’ Newt said, grabbing Y/N’s hand with one hand, and holding a launcher in the other. Together, the four of them ran to escape WCKD once and for all.

‘Brenda!’

Y/N didn’t care about the rain of bullets and walls of fire around her as she ran for the berg. After hearing Teresa’s broadcast, she needed to get the cure back to Newt fast. Leaving him was one of the hardest things she has had to do. He wasn’t in great condition, but Thomas insisted that he’d take care of Newt. But the medicine Thomas had given Brenda all those months ago didn’t just buy her time, it had cured her completely. It could do the same for Newt.

If she could make it in time.

‘Brenda!’ Y/N cried as she spotted her friend. ‘The cure! I need the cure!’

Brenda understood, immediately retrieving one of the extra capsules Mary had made from Thomas’ blood before WCKD raided the camp. ‘Here,’ she said, passing over the injector.

‘Thanks!’ Y/N said, already sprinting back into the war zone before anyone could stop her.

She could feel it, the exhaustion, the strain she was putting her body under. Underfed and under trained, she was struggling. But she refused to stop. Newt had come all this way to find her, risked his life to get her out of WCKD’s clutches when he could’ve been administered the temporary cure and been safe on the berg already. No, Y/N refused to let him die without trying.

Minho, Brenda, Frypan, and Gally – Y/N was still shocked about that revelation, but that was for another time to discuss - followed around her, covering her with guns and other weapons as they ran through the war zone.

After an eternity of running, the group rounded a corner to find a sight that made Y/N feel like she was back in the nightmare simulator. Newt was leaning over Thomas with a knife aimed at his chest.

‘Newt, no!’ Y/N cried, running towards the two boys without thought.

Newt faced her at the call of his name, and she froze as she saw his black eyes. Dark veins branched over his skin and black blood dribbled from his chin. He was a full-blown crank now.

He raced at her, snarling as he swung the knife at her throat. She ducked just in time and rolled away as he slammed the knife down where her neck was. She quickly jumped to her feet, and despite her fatigue, muscle memory took over her legs, then her hands. That first night in the Scorch came to mind, how her and Newt sparred. The injector was her knife, and Newt her proper opponent.

‘Newt, it’s me,’ she said, slipping into her Medjack demeanour – calm and steady. ‘It’s Y/N. Please, snap out of it for a moment so I can help you.’

She thought he would run at her again, but his brows crinkled with concern and he looked at the knife in his shaky hands. He looked back at her, and the voice he spoke with broke her heart. It was a mixture of his sweet accent and a gargled croak where blood clogged his throat.

‘Y/N…’ he started. ‘Run away… Before… Before I kill you.’

The scene reminded her of the time he came in with his injured ankle. How desperate he was to fade into nothing because he was scared and ashamed of what he’d done. But just like then, she refused to be scared of him.

Y/N shook her head. ‘I’m not leaving you, Newt,’ she said. ‘None of us will.’

Newt seemed to realise there were more people than just her and Thomas, turning around to see the others. The sight of them seemed to distress him, though, as he snarled angrily and charged at her. She shuffled back as he swung at her again and again, but as she stepped back again, she tripped on something. She fell onto her back, knocking the air out of her lungs. Before she could gather herself up, Newt was on her, straddling her similar to how he had Thomas pinned before. Newt raised the knife to bring down on her but was tackled by Thomas.

They rolled for a little, then scrambled to their feet as they fought once more. This was Y/N’s only chance. She pushed herself up and ran for the boys, injector at the ready. Newt was bringing the knife forward in a wide arc that would gut Thomas when Y/N threw herself in between them, slamming the injector into Newt’s arm.

Right as his drove the knife into her stomach.

‘Y/N!’

She wasn’t sure who called her name, because all she could focus on was Newt as some of the blackness in his eyes cleared and she saw some of his gorgeous brown eyes. She also felt her body finally giving up. As if it knew that this was the end. After all the torture and pain, she had stayed alive so long for one reason. To save Newt – the boy who had been there from the start. So much so she hadn’t realised until he wasn’t there how much he meant to her. How he’d wormed his way into her heart and consumed it without her even knowing.

She gripped his hand that held the knife in her stomach, unfurled his fingers from the handle, and brought them to her chest where her heart was slowly slowing down. Her weak legs gave out, and she brought Newt down to his knees with her. She could’ve been imagining things, but she swore she saw recognition in his half-black eyes which made her smile as tears finally fell from her eyes.

‘It’s okay, Newt,’ she whispered. ‘It’s okay because… I love you.’

Her vision blurred and she finally let go of Newt as the both of them collapsed to the ground. Her breaths were short and sharp as the pain made itself known. A rush of feet thumped around her, and she had the slightest awareness that someone was moving her, but she didn’t care. She was finally at peace as darkness, at last, consumed her.

Y/N woke to the sound of waves rolling over on sand. The first thing she saw was grey canvas, then rolled her head around to see she was lying on a cot in a small tent with tables and medical supplies similar to how her Medjack hut looked. But she wasn’t alone.

‘Oh my God.’ Brenda’s face came into focus as the girl crouched by Y/N’s cot, disbelief and relief morphing her gentle features. ‘You’re awake! You’re finally awake!’

‘Ow,’ Y/N clasped at her head at the sudden loudness. ‘Could you lower your voice please?’

‘Yes, right, sorry,’ Brenda said, but her lips split in a bright smile as she helped Y/N sit up. ‘I’m just so happy you’re okay.’

‘What happened?’ Y/N asked, all she remembered was being stabbed then falling unconscious. She pulled up her fresh linen shirt to see her wound bandaged. ‘I thought I was done for.’

‘So did all of us,’ Brenda admitted, her tone sombre as she pulled up a seat beside the cot. ‘We got you to the berg as quickly as possible and Vince got you stable, but you just weren’t waking up. It’s been a week.’

‘A week?’ Y/N made to get up but sat back down as her wound pulled in an unpleasant way.

‘Whoa, where do you think you’re going?’ Brenda asked stabilising Y/N back in her bed. ‘You’ve just come out of a coma induced by physical and mental torture. Not to mention you were stabbed.’

‘I’m fine. Trust me, I’m trained… somewhat,’ Y/N said, this time able to swing her legs over the side of her cot. Brenda didn’t try and stop her, but she did have to help Y/N when she stood. ‘Now, where is Newt?’ Brenda didn’t answer right away, and tears threatened to pool in Y/N’s eyes at what her silence could mean. ‘Brenda… Is he… Is he alive?’

Brenda, again, didn’t answer, and her face didn’t give anything away either. Instead, she just held back the flap of the tent and motioned for Y/N to exit. Y/N took cautious steps forward as she followed Brenda into a completely new place that had her staring in awe.

It was a bustling camp where sleeping quarters and other spaces were mapped out by canvas strung up on carved wood pillars and posts. Y/N spied a kitchen area where she swore she heard Frypan laughing with some others.

There was a gathering area where a giant stone stood in front of the seats. There were names carved into it, like what they used to do in the Glade. Y/N tried to make out if a certain blonde’s name was on it. She caught familiar names like Alby and Chuck, Clint and Jeff.

‘Y/N?’

She swung around to find Brenda smiling as she was joined by Thomas, Minho, and Jorge. The three of them ran at her, arms wide open to capture her in a hug.

‘You crazy shank, Minho said, laughter on his lips. ‘Look who finally decided to join the living again.’

‘And here I thought I was the lazy slinthead for sleeping for so long,’ Thomas said jokingly, pulling Y/N in for another hug. ’I’m so relieved.’

‘Welcome back, hermana,’ Jorge said, a warm smile gracing his lips as he gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder.

‘Good to be back,’ Y/N replied, smiling at the three males. ‘What happened after I thought I’d died?’

Thomas went to reply, but Minho cut in. ‘We’ll explain later. Right now, I think you should go say hi to someone else.’

Confused, Y/N followed Minho’s gaze to Brenda, who stood atop a hill and was staring over the other side of it. Y/N quickly reached Brenda’s position and followed her gaze to a large garden that people were working on. But her breath caught at the sight of a familiar blond at the edge of the gardens talking and pointing in all directions to people.

‘Hey, Newt!’ Brenda called out, causing the blond to turn around and look up. At first, he saw Brenda, but his gaze soon fell on Y/N and his whole face changed into disbelief.

With the other gardeners forgotten, he started climbing up the hill, and Y/N couldn’t wait another moment so she started walking down the hill.

They met in the middle, with Y/N standing at Newt’s height on the uphill. Neither said anything to begin with, both in disbelief and awe at who stood in front of them. Y/N looked over Newt, noting he still looked pale and somewhat sickly. But the dark veins were gone, as was the black blood and his black eyes. And the sun shone so brightly that his hair looked golden. It was as if he was never infected to begin with.

With a shaky hand, she reached out to rest her hand over his beating heart. ‘You’re alive,’ she whispered, too scared to voice it too loudly in case this was also another nightmare.

But he proved her doubts wrong as he rested his own hand on top of hers. ‘I am,’ he said, and the usual warmth of his voice truly convinced her he was real.

His face pinched suddenly with concern and guilt. ‘I’m so sorry, Y/N,’ he said, his hand tightening slightly over hers. ‘I hurt you. I almost…’

‘It’s okay,’ she interrupted, using her free hand to cradle is cheek and keep his eyes on her. ‘You didn’t. I am here, too. Looks like we both saved each other.’

To her relief Newt smiled. It was a genuine, happy smile, something she hadn’t seen on him in a long time. He nuzzled into her hand briefly, before bringing it down with his free hand so he held her hands between them.

‘Before I passed out,’ he started, ‘I remember you saying something.’

‘Oh.’ A blush heated upon her cheeks, but she refused to look away from him. ‘Right. I did say something.’

She was trying to play it cool, but as soon as his deep brown eyes fixed on her, she knew he could see right through her. But he didn’t smile smugly, he didn’t tease. He actually looked scared as his jaw clenched, fighting to find the next words to speak.

‘You said you love me,’ he finally said, words tight but hopeful. ‘Is that true?’

Y/N’s mouth dried up suddenly, constricted by all the things she wished to say but couldn’t say all at once. It’s not like she was scared, she just never thought she would live long enough to have a future, let alone one with love. One with Newt.

But she had – she had survived WCKD’s cruelty, she had survived the terrors of the old world, she had survived when so many of her friends hadn’t. And it was her duty to live her gift of a life to the fullest.

‘Yes,’ she finally said, and it was like breathing in fresh air after being underground for so long. ‘I love you, Newt. I don’t know when or how it happened, but I do. I love you.’

There was a second of hesitation, but then Newt broke out into a wide smile, and Y/N swore she saw tears brim in his eyes. He suddenly reached one hand up to cradle her neck as he pulled Y/N in for a sweet kiss that simultaneously knocked the air out of her and breathed new life into her. He held her neck and hip, and she pressed her hands against his chest, satisfied to feel his heart thundering beneath her hands. The heart that almost never beat again, the heart that had saved her over and over again.

The kiss was short but was no less breath-taking, and when they pulled apart neither could stop the smiles on their faces.

‘I love you, too,’ Newt said. ‘If that wasn’t already obvious.’

Y/N threw her head back in a hearty laugh. She slung her arms around Newt’s neck, a cheeky grin dancing across her lips. ‘I’m not so sure. Maybe we could try that again to make sure?’

‘Cheeky bugger,’ he murmured as he pressed his lips to hers again. Y/N sighed into the kiss, grasping the baby hairs at the base of his head.

They pulled apart at the sound of their friends whooping and clapping atop the hill. Y/N felt her face erupt with embarrassed heat, to which Newt laughed as she ducked her head into his chest.

‘All right, come on lovebirds!’ Minho called out. ‘Dinner’s almost ready.’

As they walked down out of sight, Y/N went to follow but was stopped by a loose grip on her wrist.

‘What is it?’ she asked as she turned back to Newt.

‘I just…’ Newt turned to the gardens below, then to the water, then to the sunset that bathed the whole camp in beautiful hues of orange, pink and purple. When he finally turned back to Y/N, she thought he couldn’t look any more handsome with that pure sunshine smile and sparkle in his eyes. ‘Thanks.’

‘For what?’ she asked.

‘For teaching me how to be brave,’ he answered.

Y/N gave his hand a squeeze. ‘You were always brave, Newt,’ she said. ‘It’s how I learned how to be brave in the first place.’

Newt squeezed her hand in return, then they walked hand in hand back up the hill and down to dinner to where their friend awaited them.

Where the lives they never imagined they’d get a chance to live awaited them.

#maze runner newt x reader #newt x reader #tmr newt x reader #maze runner imagines #maze runner x reader #the maze runner #minho #tmr frypan #tmr thomas #tmr minho #tmr newt #tmr gally #tmr brenda #tmr jorge #the death cure #the scorch trials #romance #angst #friends to lovers

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rafeandonlyrafe · 6 months

Text

live like a kook

words: 5.2k

the camerons take you in after your house is destroyed in a hurricane, giving you a month to live like a kook

warnings: enemies to lovers, lots of pogues vs kooks dynamic, rafe being mean to reader, reader is john bs cousin, food insecurity/mentions of going hungry, cursing

taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs

“dad, this is fucking ridiculous. no way am i sharing my home with a fucking pogue.” rafe argues, his voice raising higher and higher as the fight goes on.

“well, get over it rafe. we are doing our part for the community, this girls house got destroyed in the hurricane, she’s staying here for the next month. end of story.” ward says firmly, hoping to temper his sons anger before you arrive.

“bullshit, you don’t care about helping the pogues, all you want is to look like a good guy.” rafe runs his hand through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead. “it’s not safe. we can’t trust them, what if she steals from us?”

ward pauses. it’s something he did think about, which is why he went through the house and hid the most valuable items, locking them away in a secret safe. “you keep an eye on her then, rafe.”

it’s the end of the conversation as ward walks out of the room, even after rafe continues after him, not accepting his dads solution. wards patience with his son is about to bubble over when the doorbell rings.

ward gives rafe a pointed look to calm himself down, or at least be quiet about his disdain as he opens up the door to reveal you standing there, only carrying a backpack, fitting all of your belongings after losing almost everything in the hurricane.

“hello, mr. cameron, i’m y/n.” you stick your hand out, accepting the firm but friendly shake ward gives you.

“y/n?”

you look around ward into the house, making eye contact with a shocked rafe.

“you didn’t tell me it was- her who was going to be staying here.” rafe spits, looking at his dad, nostrils flaring in anger.

“rafe, watch yourself.” ward warns, stepping back from the door and beckoning you over the threshold.

“hi rafe.” you say quietly. you had foolishly hoped that rafe wouldn’t mind you staying here. it’s not like you ever really interact, but you know that he doesn’t get along with your cousin john b.

ward gives you a tour of the house, introducing you to rose and wheezy, and the whole time rafe stalks behind you, silent and domineering.

“thank you again for letting me stay here.” you say when ward shows you what is to be your room for the next month, situated between rafes and sarahs, who is currently out, probably with your cousin.

“of course.” ward says. “i’ll give you some time to unpack, we are serving dinner in around an hour.” “okay.” you nod, heading into your room, shutting the door carefully behind you. you glance around the opulent bedroom, so unlike what you are used to, large sweeping curtains covering the windows, sturdy wooden furniture, and best of all, the huge bed covering most of the floor.

you drop your backpack, letting yourself flop back onto the bed, letting out a laugh when you realize that even the ceiling is beautiful.

you weren’t sure what to expect when you got told that there were some people opening up their homes for those who lost theirs due to the hurricane, but you certainly never expected it to be the camerons, or any other rich kooks.

you’re still smiling to yourself when your door bursts open. your eyes widen as rafe takes up the entire doorway, not asking permission before barging into your room and slamming the door forcefully behind him.

“hey!” you shout, swinging your legs to the side of the bed and turning to stare at rafe.

“shut up.” rafe warns, quickly crossing the space between the door and the bed, hovering over you. “i want to make one thing very clear.” he holds up his pointer finger, pausing as you flicker your eyes from his hand back to his face. “do not touch anything in this house. if you steal like your loser pogue cousin, i will know. i will be watching you.”

rafe doesn’t say anything more, he doesn’t need to, turning and walking out of the room, leaving your door flung wide open, not bothering to even shut it behind him. you shiver at the warning, not that you planned on stealing, but you did plan on a peaceful stay here, and it seems like rafe is committed to the exact opposite.

you stand and shut your door, this time making sure to lock it.

“that’s screwed into the wall.” rafes voice suddenly rings down the hallway, making you jump away from the painting.

“i wasn’t going to steal it.” you grumble, crossing your arms. you were still familiarizing yourself with the house, spending some time wandering alone, but around every corner, rafe is there.

“then what were you doing staring it?” he questions.

“admiring the art, if that’s so hard to believe. yes, rafe,” you say with a sigh “even a dirty dumb pogue like me can appreciate a painting.”

“well then you don’t mind if i stand here and watch as you appreciate it.” rafe crosses his arms, muscles bulging. you turn back to the painting, looking over the landscape scene, but rafes eyes are drilling holes into you, and just like he wanted, you quickly get too frustrating, groaning and stomping away.

you head out into the garden, needing a breath of fresh air and to look upon the ocean.

“he’s an asshole.”

you jump, not realizing wheezie was in the hammock you stopped next to.

“what?” you question.

“rafe. he’s an asshole.” “you said it, not me.” you sigh, taking the hair tie off your wrist and pulling your hair into a ponytail as the wind picks up.

“just try and avoid him when he gets in his pissy moods. he’s not like this all the time.” wheezie gives you a piece of advice as she swings her legs over the side of the hammock, heading back inside.

you watch her until she’s all the way in, before glancing up and realizing that rafe is watching you as well. your brow scrunches in anger and you turn, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you angry again.

you head towards the expansive dock, marveling at how far it stretches out into the ocean as you plop down on the wood, swinging your feet over the edge. your eyes are on the horizon as gray clouds roll in, probably a cell from the recent hurricane that broke off.

you keep your back turned to the house, not wanting to retreat yet as you watch the storm roll in, scenting the air change as the temperature drops. you wrap your arms around yourself to keep warm as the wind picks up, but the rain still hasn’t reached you yet.

you daydream about living in a house like tanneyhill. not for a month, but for your whole life. of getting out of your small cottage, now being rebuilt by your deadbeat dad, and living a life of luxury like the camerons.

strong hands grab onto your upper arms, pulling you to a standing position like you weigh nothing. “what are you doing?” rafe asks, shaking you slightly, his eyes wide with what you think might be worry.

“get off of me!” you shout, pulling yourself out of his hold.

“do you want to get yourself sick? it’s cold, and there’s a storm coming in. get inside.” rafe stares at you expectantly as the first sprinkles of rain starts to fall. you want to fight, to push back, but you also don’t want to get soaked, walking past rafe without acknowledging him as you both head into the house just before the downpour hits.

rafe doesn’t even glance at you as he pushes past, heading to his room.

“y/n, you wanna come with me?” sarah asks, slinging her bag over her shoulder, probably going to spend another night at john b’s. she’s been away from tanneyhill more often then she’s been here ever since you arrived.

you glance at rafe who is sitting on the couch, phone in hand. you’re not sure if he’s even paying attention to whats going on.

“sure.” you reply, “just give me a second to get changed.”

“alright, john b will be here in 5 minutes in the twinkie.” sarah heads outside to wait as you move up the stairs, taking off your leggings and opting for a pair of shorts instead, slipping your tennis shoes on.

you gasp in surprise when you open the door and run right into rafes wide chest.

“i heard you’re going to hang out with the dirty pogues.” rafe says, taking a step back when you push against his chest. you know he’s choosing to let you by, and if he wanted to he could have stood firm.

“in case you forgot, rafe-” you shoot him a pointed look as you head down the stairs. “i am one of those dirty pogues.” rafe stays put as you head outside, and you’re thankful to get some time away tanneyhill as the twinkie pulls down the street.

“hey, it’s my favorite cousin!” john b shouts when he sees you getting in along with sarah.

“john b, i’m your only cousin.” you roll your eyes, turning to watch out the window as tanneyhill disappears from view.

it’s nice to catch up with your friends and cousin, spending the afternoon relaxing and talking around a campfire. you are especially happy pope is here, always getting along so well with him.

“there they go again.” pope sighs when kiara starts to fight with jj, both of you rolling your eyes at each other, wishing they’d just work through whatever repressed feelings they have for each other.

“hey, john b, can you give me a ride back to tanneyhill?” you ask, noticing it’s start to get dark.

“aw, can’t you just stay here?” john b asks, his tongue obviously loosened by the beer he was sipping on. “i hate that my cousin is there, taking the kooks charity.” “just because you don’t want any help doesn’t mean that i can’t accept it.” you say, raising your voice. “besides, you knew our house got destroyed and you didn’t even reach out. you were too busy with sarah.”

you stomp away from the chateau, heading down the dirt driveway, determined to walk back to tanneyhill if john b wouldn’t give you a ride.

“y/n! wait!” if it was john b calling for you, you wouldn’t have stopped, but you turn to face sarah.

“listen-” you interrupt her before she can speak. “i’m not mad at you. i’m not even mad at john b. i’ve just been through a lot and want to go ho- back to tanneyhill.” “i’m sorry.” sarah pulls you into a hug, one that you didn’t realize you needed that much. “john b’s probably too drunk to drive. i texted rafe to come pick you up.”

you sigh, trying not to let your disappointment show on your face. you really don’t want to spend time alone with rafe, but you thank her and tell her to tell rafe that you’re starting to walk so to keep an eye out on the way, figuring it would be better to distance yourself from the rest of the pogues before he got to you.

you spot rafes truck after walking for a few minutes, watching him slow to a stop before you climb into the passenger seat.

“thanks.” you whisper, not sure what else to say as rafe presses down on the gas. you expect him to turn back towards tanneyhill, but he’s driving you in a different direction.

“where are we going?” you ask.

“i doubt you ate anything good while you were with the pogues. you need to get some real food.” rafe pulls into town, finding a parking spot that would fit his truck.

“rafe, it’s okay, i’ll eat at tanneyhill.” you say, but he just gets out of the truck and walks around to your side, yanking the door open and gesturing for you to get out.

“i see what you eat at tanneyhill. it’s never real meals unless it’s what rose makes, and she’s out tonight with my dad. just come on.”

you slide out of the truck, watching rafes back as he walks away, expecting you to follow. you stay a few feet behind him until rafe turns into a restaurant, again holding the door open for you as you duck inside. it’s not one you’ve been to before, probably because it’s out of your price range.

“just the two of you?” the hostess asks. rafe nods in response, and you’re quickly shown back to a table.

“rafe, i-i can’t afford this.” you say when looking at the menu. you can’t even afford just an appetizer.

“you don’t think i know that, pogue?” rafe rubs his brow. “i’ve got it, just eat, please.”

you study the menu, opting for a simple chicken and fries, along with mozzarella sticks. afterall, rafe is paying. he orders a burger for himself, not even glancing at the waitress who took your orders, like she's beneath him.

“did ward put you in charge of me or something?” you ask after sitting in an awkward silence for a few minutes, waiting on your food to be brought out.

“i don’t want to be sharing a house with someone who is sick because they refuse to eat right.” rafe says. “i don’t want to find you passed out because you didn’t get enough food.” rafe leans back in his chair, glancing over you. “that would just be an inconvenience.”

“ah.” you nod, keeping your eyes on the empty place in front of you until your food is brought out. your stomach growls at the smell, not realizing how hungry you truly were, so used to going all day without a true proper hot meal, surviving on snacks and whatever else you could find.

you dig into your food, moaning when the melted cheese enters your mouth after biting down on the mozzarella stick.

“hey!” you shout when rafe reaches across the table and takes one of the sticks, biting the end of it off.

rafe just grins at you while chewing, making you shake your head in laughter. you continue eating your meal, not even realizing that you just had a nice moment with rafe until later that night when you’re laying in bed, reflecting on your evening with rafe. he didn’t make a big fuss when paying for the bill, simply sat his credit card down and didn’t mention how you were broke, then drove you back to the house and bid you goodnight upon entering tanneyhill.

you press your cold fingers to your cheeks, willing them to settle down as you shift underneath the covers, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself, reminding yourself that one nice thing doesn’t mean rafe doesn’t hate you, afterall, like he said himself, he just doesn’t want you to be an inconvenience.

“mr. cameron, i really don’t want to impose!” you say, but ward just shakes his head. “nonsense, y/n. you’re coming with us.”

“let me help you with your hair, dear, come on.” rose ushers you towards her bedroom. you give wheezie a pleading look, but there’s nothing that she can say to get you out of going to midsummers, not now that ward is determined to have you come with them, showing off how generous and charitable he is by taking you in.

you sit still as rose patiently straightens your wavy hair, only to recurl it, pinning sections up until it’s mostly swept out of your face besides for a few face framing strands, then cascading down your back.

“rose-” you breath catches in the mirror. “you did amazing, thank you.” you turn to look at the woman. “i’ve never had my hair done like this before.” “you look beautiful, y/n. it’s a pleasure to have you with our family tonight. i think sarah is in her bedroom doing her makeup, maybe she can put some on you too.”

you nod and head towards sarahs room. you didn’t want to go at first and be surrounded by kooks, but now that you have no choice, you might as well enjoy feeling beautiful for one night. sarah already leant you a dress, but she agrees to do your makeup as well, keeping it light and fresh before helping you sort out putting on the dress.

you look in the mirror at yourself, unable to resist twirling, the fluttery skirt of the dress billowing up on the bottom.

“girls, it’s time to leave!” you hear ward call, and you finish off the outfit with a flower crown of pale pink flowers to match your dress before rushing out of the room.

you head down the stairs, gripping the railing so you don’t stumble in your borrowed heels.

rafe looks up, ready to chastise you for taking so long, when his breath catches in his throat, eyes going wide.

“not too bad for a pogue, huh?” you question.

“you look…” rafe trails off, his soft expression quickly being replaced with an angry one, stomping out of the room without finishing his sentence. you resist the urge to chase after him.

you don’t see rafe until hours later. you’ve been paraded in front of all of ward and roses country club friends, but you just put on a smile and boast about their generosity. you’re not sure if anyone can see through the fakeness, but ward seems pleased, and finally lets you stop mingling to rest your tired feet.

you watch the crowd from the camerons reserved head table, feeling like such an outsider, knowing this isn’t where you belong, and if you weren’t scrubbed clean and dressed like them, the kooks would be turning their nose up at you. at least rafe is decent enough to not try and hide his hatred behind a nice face.

you spot rafe in the crowd, whisky glass in hand as he talks to his friends, a bright smile on his face that gives you a funny feeling in your chest. you rub the spot with your hand, willing it to go away as people clear out from standing on the dance floor as the music starts, a few brave couples being the first one to begin swaying to the music.

you watch as ward and rose dance, eyebrows raising up when they turn their attention to you. “y/n, come on!”

you consider ruining having a place to stay and sleeping on the street tonight, but you’ve put on a good act so far, you can continue it for a bit longer. you smile and walk over to them, expecting to be shoved into the arms of some random kook boy, but instead you’re ushered to rafe.

“dance, you two!” rose calls, grabbing a champagne flute from a passing waiter.

rafe holds his hand out, looking at you expectantly. you hesitate to place your hand in his, making rafe sigh.

“you don’t know how to dance, do you pogue?” he questions.

“maybe i just don’t want to with you.” you place your hand in his, letting him tug you closer, his other hand resting against your waist while you grab onto his shoulder. you follow rafes lead, matching your footsteps with his as he sways you around the floor, glad the song is soft and gentle so you can just move slowly.

“see, this isn’t so bad.” rafe says, looking down at you.

“could be worse i suppose.” you hum, keeping your gaze straight forward at rafes chest as the song comes to an end.

the lights dim, and a romantic song comes on. you go to pull away from rafe, but he keeps you close to him, wrapping both arms around your waist and leaving you no choice but to put your arms around his shoulders.

you look to see all the other couples pressed close together, women with their head against their mens chest, some even kissing in the low lighting.

“just relax.” rafe whispers. “you’re so tight you’re gonna snap.”

you let your body relax in his hold, not realizing that you were clenching almost every muscle in your body. your head falls against rafes chest as you dance, letting yourself close your eyes and be swept away in the loving lyrics of the song, once again daydreaming about if this was actually your life.

the song ends far sooner than you’d like, and the lights brighten again. the crowd claps for a moment, but you’re locked into rafes arms, both of you now standing completely still. you can hear his steady heartbeat against your cheek, his breathing slow and deliberate.

“you look beautiful tonight.” rafe says, making you jump, almost forgetting who you are, and who he is. “that’s what i didn’t say earlier.” rafe clarifies, face falling when you look up at him in horror. you pull away from his arms, instantly missing his warmth as you run as fast as your heels can carry you out of the crowd, needing to get away from the music and the man.

you look down at your borrowed dress. you would rip it off or roll in dirt if you didn’t have to give it back to sarah, hating that this is what rafe finds beautiful. when you’re primped up to look like one of them, not the real you.

you find a dark corner to sit in until the party starts to disperse, and when you find the cameron family again, rafe isn’t with them, and no one mentions it as you pile in the car to head back to tanneyhill.

“are you sure you don’t want to come out on the boat with us, y/n?” wheezie asks you, but you shake your head.

“i’m okay, i’ll just stay back and read. i don’t want to impose, enjoy some time as a family.” you can tell already from being at the camerons for three weeks that they rarely do things as a family, at least one person, usually rafe or sarah, being left out.

“alright, i guess it’s you and rafe staying home. lets go!” ward calls, ushering the girls out of the room.

“wait, what?” you call, but they’re already out the door. you thought for sure rafe was going with him. you haven’t spoken a single word to each other in the past three days since midsummers. he’s barely even been around, you’ve just caught glimpses as he left for the day or came home.

you make a late breakfast for yourself, deciding since you’re basically home alone to fry up some bacon. you’re too nervous to use the kitchen for anything more than grabbing a quick snack when rose or ward are home.

you hum to yourself as the oil sizzles in the pan, finishing cooking your meal when you hear heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.

“rose, is that bacon?” rafe calls, entering into the kitchen with just a pair of basketball shorts on, freezing when he sees you.

“they all left.” you say, swallowing and resisting the urge to let your eyes track all over his torso. “but um, i made extra if you want some.” “yeah, let me just put a shirt on.” rafe walks away and you take the opportunity to fan your face, dividing the bacon up between two plates and sitting down at the counter, starting to eat when rafe rejoins you in the room.

you both eat side by side in silence, and you’re glad to not be talking. you finish your food, going to put your plate in the dishwasher when rafe takes it from you and does it for you.

“thanks.” you say under your breath, going to turn away when rafe clears his throat. “what is it?” you question, voice coming out harsher than you meant it to.

“i’m going to golf today. did you want to come with me?” rafe asks, not meeting your gaze.

“i- i don’t know how to golf.” you say as your way of refusal.

“right.” rafe nods, letting his shoulders drop.

“dirty pogue, remember?” you question.

rafe doesn’t say another word, he doesn’t even look at you as he leaves the room. you watch him walk away before closing yourself in your room, only moving to peek out the window when you hear his truck start up, watching it speed away from the house.

“y/n, you have a visitor.” ward says, ushering you towards the front room. you stand up, confused, not sure who would be visiting. it’s not like you have any friends who would come to tanneyhill.

“dad!” you shout in surprise, seeing him standing in the foyer, looking out of place in his dirty shorts and tank top.

“hey, y/n.” he says casually, like it hasn’t been four weeks since he saw you last, shipping you off to stay with a kook while he fixed up the hurricane damage on your house.

“what are you doing here?” you question, looking to the base of the stairs where rafe is stood on the bottom steps, arms crossed and watching the interaction with a scowl on his face.

“i finished fixing up the house enough for you to come home.”

“oh.” you nod. you’d completely forgotten in your time here that you were only staying for a month, and that of course your dad would be here to collect you. “let me just get my things.” you force yourself to turn away and rush up the stairs, letting a few tears slip. you don’t want to go back to staying in a broken down house, and you especially don’t want to stay with your dad, having to fend for yourself completely while he spends all your money on drinks at the bar, not even leaving you enough for food.

you head into your room, wiping away tears as you shove things into your bag, including some clothes sarah was going to donate but she gave to you instead.

you control your breathing and stop your tears before you head downstairs, making eye contact with rafe as you walk down, unable to read the emotion on his face.

“thank you again, mr and mrs cameron for letting me stay here.” you say politely, and the both pull you into awkward hugs.

“and bye, wheezie.” you squeeze the teenager against you, whispering a promise to come back and hang out.

you turn to rafe as your father walks out the door. you can’t find any words, so you simply turn and leave.

“dad, i need to buy food.” you argue. “i’m starving!” “you just want to pig out on fast food! we have things here you can eat!” your dad slurs his words, gesturing to the broken down kitchen. there wasn’t as much done in the month that you were gone that you were hoping for. he’s cleaned up the hurricane damage in most of the rooms, but tree that fell onto your bedroom is still there, simply hidden by a closed door, relegating you to sleeping on the old couch.

you curse as your dad stumbles into his bedroom, opening the kitchen cabinets to look for something edible before landing on a packet of saltine crackers.

you take the packet outside along with a water bottle, needing to get away from that house and your father. you sit down on the swing hanging from a high tree branch, crunching on the crackers as you listen to the birds chirping.

the mockingbirds song is interrupted by the rumble of an engine, and you turn towards your driveway, shooting up to stand when you recognize the truck getting closer.

you walk towards the truck, confused at why rafe is here, wondering if maybe you left something at tanneyhill, but it’s already been two weeks since you left. maybe he only just now bothered to return it.

rafe gets out of the truck, his eyes wide as he takes you in.

“how are you already so skinny?” rafe questions, taking the saltine cracker out of your hand and looking at it with disdain. “is this all you have to eat?”

“rafe, what are you doing here?” you question, snatching the precious cracker back.

“i-fuck!” rafe runs both his hands through his hair, “i was worried! and look at you! is he feeding you at all?” “rafe, calm down. you’ll wake him up.” you try and shush him, but it just makes rafe angrier.

“wake him up? does he hurt you? y/n.” rafe grips your upper arms, staring you straight in the eye, needing to know if what he suspects is true.

“what? no, rafe. he just drinks then passes out, he’s never hit me.” you’re still confused why rafe is even here.

“get in the truck, i’m getting you food.” rafe demands, and your mind says no, but your rumbling stomach has your feet moving. you climb into the passenger side, looking at your broken down home thats truly no more than a shack. you wonder what rafe must feel seeing it as he gets in and starts the truck, backing out of the driveway.

you bring your knees up to your chest, letting your head fall as you sob silently. rafe doesn’t realize that you’re crying until your body starts to shake. he stops the truck in the middle of the dirt road, not caring if it blocks anyone else.

“y/n?” rafe questions, unsure how to get you to stop crying, worrying that it’s his fault.

“i don’t wanna go back there.” you admit, looking up at rafe, letting him see the messy state you’re in.

“fuck it.” rafe sighs, unbuckling both of your seatbelts and pulling you onto his lap, wrapping his strong arms around you as you press your face into his shoulder, letting your tears run free, not caring about the wet stains you’re making on his clothes.

“it’s okay.” rafe rubs his hand up and down your back. “you don’t have to go back there. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. i’m here.”

you cry harder, wrapping your arms around rafes waist, keeping yourself close to him, letting yourself find comfort in his arms.

“i’m here, y/n.” rafe whispers, pressing a kiss to your head.

you look up at him, tears still flowing down your face. “why? why are you here?” “i told you…” rafe cups your cheek, trying to wipe away the tears but they just keep flowing. “i was worried. i had to come check on you… please stop crying.”

rafes words do nothing to stop the deluge, and he’s starting to freak out, hating seeing you so upset, knowing you need some sort of distraction as your breathing speeds up, starting to hyperventilate until rafes lips are pressed against your own.

you’re momentarily confused, hesitating for a split second before kissing back, letting rafe dominate your mouth as you concede, the tears slowing to a stop as he keeps kissing you.

“rafe!” you gasp when he pulls away. “you just kissed me.” “i know.” rafe wipes his palms over your cheeks, and this time theres no fresh tears to replace it. “i care about you y/n. it’s why i came. i missed you.”

“oh, rafe.” you lean forward, letting him hug you tight, squeezing your bodies together.

“i’m here.” rafe whispers again, not letting you spiral, reminding you as many times as it takes that you’re not alone, that you have him now.

“now,” rafe gives your forehead a kiss, “we need to get you some real food. what are you hungry for? pizza?”

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clubforfrogs · 1 month

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Heyyy, SLIP UPS- AWESOME, WOMAN HOW DO U DO THIS-?

Also a request...!!! M so excited!!

Sirius black x reader snape

Basically snake's younger sister, is constantly bullied by the marauders, cuz of snape yk yk, especially on her make up preferable her foundation, after lots of teasing and bullying, she lashes out on sirius n removes her makeup to show a huge scar imprinted on her face. Cuz of her family issues n stuff. I leave how sirius reacts and their bonding up to you.

I LOVE UR WRITING SM, I SWEAR ITS SO GOOD. M NOT EVEN LYING. UR MY SOUL WRITER.

French love from dxb, Mon cherie

Um hello?! You’re literally the sweetest🫶🫶. I also love this request so much, so I hope I did it justice. I came up with this little blurb- I really hope you like it!

I’m currently working on a Sirius ask and a little James blurb- so keep on the look out for those.

Of All People - Sirius Black x Reader

~ 1.7k words

•

Now let’s be clear, you loved your brother, but some deep, shameful part of you resented him for the attention he attracted. Your parents had instilled posh pureblood ideologies into your heads from young ages. Luckily, you were able to see through their bullshit. Severus wasn’t so lucky.

He brought that thinking into Hogwarts, and was ecstatic when both you and him were sorted into Slytherin, where he took no time at all befriending other air headed Slytherins who thought the same. This, along with the simple fact of his existence, brought the full wrath of the marauders down on your brother, which also trickled down to you.

The marauders would endlessly bully and tease your brother. Being the dimwit he was, he always decides to try and fight back, ultimately failing every time. They would cast small hexes on you in the hallways, just constant, small annoyances. Eventually, it seemed as though Snape wasn’t enough of a challenge for the marauders, which caused them to turn fully to you. Now you were the one getting harassed. Constant jabs at the way you looked, filth about you thinking the same way as Severus, and the never ending comments about the amount of foundation you wore. What kind of guy even noticed that stuff?

To be quite frank, it sucked. You were stuck with a shitty brother whom you loved, and a group of boys who bullied you for that very reason. It was exhausting, which meant that you valued every moment you could find yourself at peace- like right now. You were sitting underneath a tree near Black Lake. It was the first of the warmer days at Hogwarts, so you blended in with the multitudes of students soaking up the sun. You hoped this blending would be enough to allow you some quality time away from the marauders.

You leaned back your head against the bark of the tree. There was a gentle wind blowing across your face, a gentle buzz of voices coming from the other students outside, and a heavy liquid falling down your face. Wait… what? You opened your eyes quickly and rubbed at your face. It felt as though sticky black tar had been dumped on your head.

Though the substance made it hard to see, you could hear the roaring laughter of James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius. “What the hell? What is your issue? You couldn’t leave it for one day?” You questioned. You had cleared the goo enough clear your eyesight, and could see the amused faces of the boys. Sirius had the biggest grin stretching across his face, “Aw, we wouldn’t do that to you. You simply look too adorable with black sludge covering your face. Honestly, it looks better than that makeup you cake on everyday.”

You could punch him for the look on his face. You had already been having a crappy day, as your parents had sent you a letter reminding you that the summer holiday was approaching, and they expected you to not forget your manners like you seem so inclined to do.

Basically, if you didn’t listen to every word they said, you were going to “get straightened out” like your mother always said. The letter was fresh in your mind, and with it, a need to punch something. Luckily for you, there were four perfect targets standing right in front of you.

You took a step towards James, the closest of them to you. He looked slightly confused, but taunted you nevertheless, “You coming in for a kiss? Sorry, I don’t French with snakes.” That was all you needed. You reared back your fist, and punched James Potter square in the gut. He doubled over in pain, and you swear you’ve never felt so much joy. Peter and Remus rushed over to him right away. Sirius looked at you in shock and took you by the shoulders. “You’re such a bitch! I knew all of the Snapes were the same. Just leave Hogwarts! We don’t need another bunch of rancid, pureblood twats spitting nonsense around here!” He was screaming in your face, and everything about what he was saying infuriated you.

“Excuse me? Have you ever thought of asking about what I believe instead of assuming I’m just like my brother? I don’t believe in any of that shit! And what’s even worse, I have to suffer the consequences of being a half decent person all the time!” Sirius looked confused at your last sentence, so you rolled your eyes and casted a simple spell to clean the liquid off of your face, along with the thick layer of foundation you had applied that morning. Underneath, a giant scar cut along your cheek. It was relatively new, so the skin around it was red and puckered.

Sirius sucked in a quick breath. The other marauders had stopped cooing over James, and looked to you with shocked expressions. “Oh Merlin, I’m so sorry-“ you cut Sirius off. “Just stop, I thought you of all people would know what I was going through, but I guess not.” You started walking away, but when you heard the footsteps of Sirius behind you, you sped up to a run.

The footsteps behind you also increased in their pace, and a large hand grasped your wrist. You turned to look at Sirius. Tears had started forming in your eyes, but you wiped them away in futile the hope that would stop Sirius from seeing them. Sirius didn’t speak right away, instead he chose to study your face. You squirmed, under his scrutiny, you just felt ugly. Your red rimmed eyes, stuffy nose, and large scar now visible. You were heavily considering bolting away again until he spoke up, “I’m sorry. I- I never even considered that you might not be like your family. And you’re right, out of anyone, I should have been the one to give you the benefit of the doubt.” You looked back up at him, his eyes seemed genuinely apologetic, but that didn’t mean you were letting him off the hook just yet.

“Yeah, you should be sorry. You and your cronies have been ruining my life here at Hogwarts. My one escape from my family. And you’ve been taking the absolute piss out of my brother. I know how he is, but he’s still my brother. Talk to me again when you show me you want to change.” With that, you pulled your wrist from his grip and walked back to your dorm. You really wanted to give him a second chance, partly because you had been harboring a small crush on him since first year. But before you could even let yourself consider that, he had to prove that he wanted to change. You sat in your dorm thinking about that very scenario, wishing, hoping, praying, that he would make the effort.

And in the next few weeks, he did. There were certainly the occasional taunts thrown towards your brother in the halls, but you supposed you could live with that. There were no more cruel pranks aimed towards you or Severus, and Sirius had even made James, Peter, and Remus write out apology notes and deliver them to you personally. You had probably gotten way too much enjoyment out of that one.

As you ate in the Great Hall, surrounded by a few acquaintances, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Behind you was a nervous looking Sirius. “Would you like to come over and eat with us? I swear, no bad intentions. We really want to get to know you.” His voice was much smaller than you had ever heard it. You weighed your options back and forth, but with the genuine effort he had been putting into righting his wrongs, there was no way you could deny him. “I would be delighted to.”

His face lit up at that, and you could see his confidence instantly repair itself. He led you over to where he and the other marauders sat, guiding you by placing his hand on the small of your back. The simple act caused your face to redden, but if he noticed, he didn’t say anything. Once you sat down at the table, everything was surprisingly normal. The other boys made one more quick apology each, but then the conversation quickly migrated to more light hearted topics.

“Okay, James,” it was hard to speak through your laughter, “You went up to this fifty year old dude, and insisted he was your mom?” The entire table burst out in laughter. “It was an intense game of truth or dare, I had ten galleons riding on it!” Remus smirked at him, “Yeah, but you still ended up losing,” he then looked to you, “You want to know why, Y/n?” You looked at him nodding, as you heard Peter groan, “Don’t do this mate.” Remus only spared him a glance as he launched back into his story, “So the truth or dare game was down to just Peter and James, and neither of them would back out. That’s when Sirius came out with this absolutely vile looking plate of chicken. It was cold, half raw, and definitely spoiled. We dared James and Peter to eat it for the win. James backed out immediately, but Peter ate it and puked for weeks.”

You had been drinking pumpkin juice as Remus told his story. But once he reached the part where Peter at the chicken, you lost it. Laughter spilled from your lips, and juice came up out of your nose. This only made the laughter at the table increase ten fold. You realized that you were receiving from worried glances from the students around you, but the laughter clouded your mind and you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You finally managed to calm yourself, and Sirius handed you a napkin of while wiping away a tear. You wiped away the juice, and caught sight of the watch on your wrist as you did so.

“Shit, I was supposed to be working on a Potions paper due tomorrow! I’ve gotta be off, this was lovely though!” You hugged Peter who sat right next to you, the boy looked a bit shocked, but satisfied nonetheless. You saw the pouty look emerge in Sirius’ eyes, so you leaned across the table and pecked him on the cheek. His face immediately blossomed into a lovely pink hue as the boys shouted out variations of, “You’re in!” “When’s the wedding?” and “Can I be the best man?” You smiled as you walked away from them, hoping that you’d be invited to sit with them again tomorrow.

#james potter x reader #marauders x reader #poly!wolfstar x you #remus lupin x reader #poly!marauders x reader #sirius black x reader #wolfstar x reader #marauders x fem!reader #poly marauders x reader #harry potter

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zwedexx · 2 months

Text

AWFC x English-Italian Reader - Chapter 2

Summary: Reader is dealing with the effects of their concussion

TW: concussion, alcohol, maybe depression

WC: 1232

A/N: Sorry for taking ages, i was productive today so here is chapter 2. Do i hate it.. kinda. also to make it clear, the reader takes more medication than needed because they forgot they were taking them due to memory loss. also if you wanna chat abt anything i've written, my asks are always open. Also not proof read

It has only gone downhill since your conversation with Leah. You were only able to talk to her because the effects of the medications they had used to stabilize you hadn’t fully worn off yet. But once they did, the doctors refused to give you more. You weren’t new to concussions, and you knew that they weren’t going to give you anything because they needed to monitor your symptoms, but the pain had never been this bad. The smallest amount of light or sound would make it feel as though you were being stabbed right through your frontal lobe.

Your teammates tried to help by being there for you, but they were doing everything but helping. They would always seem to make your pain worse, and you hated it. There was a big part of you there that wanted your chosen family to be there right by your side, to make you feel better like they had last year when you got COVID. But you couldn’t take them right now. It hurt you too much to tell them to their face, so you had the nurses and medical staff prevent them from visiting you.

The only good thing to come from your self-imposed isolation was that none of them knew of your diagnosis.

“I don’t want you to get too alarmed, but based on your current symptoms and seizure, it’s looking ever more likely that it will be too dangerous to continue playing football.” The doctor had informed you once that you were able to communicate without being in total agony.

You stayed silent; you did know what to say.

“It's not a definite conclusion, but we have to consider the severity of your symptoms and the potential risks involved,” the doctor continued. “We will monitor your condition closely, but I want you to understand that there's a real possibility that returning to the game could pose serious health risks, both in the short and long term.”

You stayed silent, absorbing the weight of the doctor's words.

The doctor's words felt like an assault on your very existence. Football wasn't just a game; it was your lifeblood, the essence of who you were. It was the only thing keeping you going at times.

Only a few days before Christmas were you discharged from the hospital. All the older teammates offered you a place to stay. Viv and Beth were the first.

"Look, I know you might not want to burden anyone, but we're a team. We look out for each other," Beth said, concern etched on her face as she walked beside you.

“Our guest room is always open to you." Viv continued

Leah had offered the same. And you gave them all the same bullshit story.

“Guys, I’ll be fine. My parents are coming to take care of me. They’ll be here tomorrow. Go enjoy your holidays.”

“If you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to ask. We’re all here for you if you need us.” Kim said.

Part of you really wanted their help. Part of you wished they would force you to stay at their houses. But the part that was against it was stronger.

When you finally got home, there was no one waiting for you. You sort of chuckled to yourself. Your parents were never going to come take care of you, but your teammates didn’t know that. Your parents weren’t bad people, but you hadn’t left it off on the best of terms. It all started when you were young, you hung out with the ‘wrong kind of people’, you got into a lot of trouble, and you did bad things. As young as 13, you would go out late at night with your friends and sneak into abandoned buildings or construction sites to drink and smoke. In your mind, these were the nights of your life. Your parents were quite absent from your life; they were far more interested in their businesses and enterprises, and those people took an interest in you. They wanted you around; they could make you feel like you belonged.

It took you being arrested for being drunk, disorderly, and almost OD’ing for them to figure out you’d been sneaking out for over a year. That was the first time you’d really disappointed them.

Only a few months later, you’d disappoint them again after you had taken up drinking again, this time with a new group of people. That’s when they started to realize that you might be the problem.

The final nail in the coffin came when you decided to sign with Arsenal. Your parents couldn’t understand why you’d ever do such a thing. They only saw it as another stupid mistake to add to your long list. They could have stopped you, but at that point, they didn’t care anymore. Only a week after you’d signed, they’d fully moved to Milan.

The first few days at home were fine; at least that’s what you thought. You were on track, you took your medications every day, and you didn’t put too much strain on yourself. You ate healthy and went on walks. You were ready to do anything to get back to the sport you loved. Anything.

It was the day before Christmas Eve when you realized your 10-day supply of medications was almost done. You couldn’t believe it; you had taken the correct amount every day, or at least that’s what you remembered.

You thought you could do it. You thought you could make it through the holidays without medication, but you were wrong—so very wrong. The days stretched out in a seemingly never-ending cycle of pain. The relentless headaches intensified, and you weren’t able to cope with the unmedicated effects of a concussion this severe.

You tried to reach out to the pharmacy, hoping for an early refill or something to manage your symptoms, but the holidays meant it was closed. You debated calling your teammates, even getting as close as dialing Beth’s number, but as the phone rang, you second-guessed your decision. What would you say? How were you going to tell them you had lied to them and, due to your stupidity, had put yourself in another predicament.

It wasn’t long after you made that call that the isolation and pain became far too much. Over the past few days, thoughts of turning to an old friend returned.

You were Italian; by nature, there was always a bottle of something in your house; it had never tempted you until now. Football was always there, replacing it in a way nothing had ever done for you. But that solace has been taken from you now. The promise of a temporary escape from all the pain was undeniable.

You hesitated, holding the bottle in your hand. You uncapped the bottle, and the scent of grappa, your common poison of choice, wafted through the air. You took a sip, surrendering to the pain.

The first sip was sharp, with the burn racing down your throat and the warmth quickly spreading through your chest. The level in the bottle dropped steadily, and with it, the pain was momentarily forgotten. With each passing moment, the effect intensified.

It wasn’t long before you were free. You felt nothing and were worried about nothing. You knew you could be putting both your concussion and alcohol recovery in danger, but you didn’t care anymore.

#woso #women's football #woso x reader #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #women's soccer #woso fanfics #beth mead #leah williamson #vivianne miedema #katie mccabe #kim little

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gretavangroupie · 3 months

Text

Errant

Word count: 16.0k

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Fighting, Name Calling, Toxic Themes and Behavior, Allusions to Cheating, Jealousy, Anger, Gaslighting. Smut: Kissing, Touching, Oral M!Receiving, Fingering, Oral F!Receiving, Dirty Talk, Degradation, Slight Masochism, Slight Humiliation Kink, Spanking, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex. Fluff.

A/N: Hey! Welcome back for the third installment of the four part Valentine's Day Mini Series I've been working on along with my best pal, @sacredstarcatcher! We've had so much fun writing these, and we hope that you enjoy Josh's story! This may not be everyones cup of tea, so make sure you read the warnings! There's only one left now, and we can't wait to share Jake's story with you! See you real soon!

JOSH POV

You sit on the exam table, gently swinging your feet as the doctor scribbles on his prescription pad. The paper underneath you crinkles, your clammy hands getting stuck to it.

“It’s looking like the perforation is healing, but I’m going to give you some antibiotics and ear drops. You’ll take the antibiotics for 10 days and the drops for 5.” He tears off the prescription and hands it to you. “Just be sure you aren’t drinking and you avoid getting any water in or around your ears.”

You scrunch up your nose when you hear the pointed reminder not to drink.

“Thank you, doc. I’ll be on my best behavior.” You joke, hopping down from the table. Your sneakers squeak as you stick the landing.

Navigating through the back halls of the ENT practice, you follow the signs that direct you to the check-out. It��s eerily quiet as you walk through the waiting room and out of the front doors. The sun nearly blinds you when you get outside, so you lift your hand to block it out while you search for your girlfriend’s car.

Spotting her a few rows into the parking lot, you walk in her direction, knocking softly on the window once you’re close enough. She unlocks the door and you slip inside, the car next to her parked a little too close. She sighs, shifting from park to drive while you buckle your seatbelt.

“How was it?” she asks, her enthusiasm lacking. You look over at her as she cranes her neck to check that the way is clear before she pulls out of her parking spot.

“Well, it was fine.” You take a deep breath before continuing. “I have to take antibiotics and put in ear drops for a few days, so you might have to help me with that. I can keep taking the pain meds that the doctor I originally saw prescribed, but the pain should subside as I heal.”

She nods, keeping the radio volume low. The only time she doesn’t sing in the car is when she’s upset, and you know the song currently playing is one of her favorites. So, you seal your fate and ask the dreaded question in every relationship.

“What’s wrong?”

She huffs and thinks for a moment before she answers.

“You know it’s Valentine’s day, right?”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess it is.” You’ve never put much stock in the holiday and you didn’t think she did either. The last two years, you hadn’t ever done more than get her some flowers or chocolates delivered, mostly because you weren’t around.

“I just… I don’t know, it’s the first one we’ve been able to spend together and we’re spending the day going to the doctor and the pharmacy…”

“Oh, so you’re mad that you had to bring me to the doctor?” you ask, a little defensive now.

“That’s not what I’m saying, Josh. I’m just saying I wish we were doing more than running errands.” She speaks curtly to you, and honestly, it’s a little condescending.

“It’s a made up holiday anyway. I’ve never bought into all the hearts and candy and bullshit. I didn’t think you did either.” You rest your head on your hand, looking out the window as she drives a little too fast down the freeway.

“It’s not about that. You’re not getting it.” she snaps, her tone whiny and frustrated.

“Listen. I had my assistant send you chocolate covered strawberries to your office. I don’t really know what else you want from me.” you bite back. You’ve had enough of this argument and want to be home already so you can take something for your pain and try to get some rest.

“I didn’t even know that, seeing as I had to call out and use a sick day to take you to the doctor.” she says, and you feel your scalp get hot, your temper flaring.

“So you are mad you had to bring me to the doctor.”

“I just don’t understand what a ruptured eardrum has to do with driving!” she says, her voice raising a bit. “You didn’t take your pain meds this morning so you technically would have been fine to drive… I just don’t appreciate that I had to use my PTO on Valentine’s day and all I’m doing is driving Miss Daisy.”

“I don’t know if you realize this, but I’m in a lot of fucking pain.” you grit out, and she scoffs a laugh.

“Yeah. I’ve heard.”

You know you’re about to lose it, so you close your eyes for a moment, gathering your composure. Unfortunately, she just keeps going.

“I thought I was going to spend my Valentine’s day getting bitten and scratched by your brother’s awful fucking cat, but now that you’re all home, I get to spend my evening dealing with you while you’re miserable and in pain, and I’m not sure which is worse.”

“You act like I’m home on some vacation… I have a work function tomorrow even if I’m not out at the shows, so–”

“Are you kidding me?! You somehow have MORE obligations now that you’re home? I guess I’m the fool for thinking we would have more than a few hours to spend together.” She cuts the wheel and turns sharply into your driveway. You grab the handle of the door and grumble under your breath at the way she’s driving like a maniac.

“Look, it’s not like I asked to go. Jake and Danny did the last one, so now Sam and I are stuck going tomorrow. It’s supposed to be nice. It’s a fancy thing, dinner and drinks. I figured you would be my date.”

You watch her turn off the car and think for a moment, the word “date” appealing to her a little bit, which is exactly what you had hoped.

“Come on. I missed you and I feel like shit and you’re… you’re all prickly. Can’t we just have a nice night in? I’ll make it up to you. I just want to take a nap.”

She seems to be thinking about it as she gets out of the car. You unbuckle your seatbelt and follow suit, walking around to her side and reaching for her hand. Tugging her closer, you wrap your other arm around her shoulders and kiss her on the side of her head with some force.

“Okay, okay…” she relents, leaning in to you.

“I love you. You’re still my Valentine, right?” you ask, nuzzling your nose into her hair and squeezing her tighter. It works up a little giggle out of her, which means you’re in the clear.

“I guess so. You didn’t even ask me.”

You squeeze her again, this time digging your fingertips into her sides to tickle another laugh out of her.

“It was on the card that came with the strawberries, obviously.” you quip, peppering her cheek and neck in kisses while she continues to soften up.

“Oh, get out of here. Go take your damn nap.” she says with a smile, turning you by the shoulders towards the house and pushing gently.

—

HER POV

You hear the soft padding of feet upstairs and the whip of the flat sheet as your bed is remade, pulling your attention away from your computer screen as you send off emails. The sun is set now, the room cast in darkness, and you figure Josh has slept off the fatigue that was a result of his medications. You gently close your computer, setting it next to you on the couch as you hear his feet walking slowly down the stairs. You turn to lay eyes on him, looking a little worse for wear in his low slung joggers, but still glowing as usual.

“Hey baby, you feel any better?” you ask, resting your chin on the back of the fluffy leather couch cushion.

“No. Not really, but it’s fine.” he pauses, reaching the landing and walking up to the back of the couch. He pulls his phone from his pocket and checks the time, “You want to get ready, we can go grab dinner?” he asks, running a hand over his messy curls.

“I would love to, but are you sure you want to?” you ask, a little surprised that he actually wants to go out.

“Yeah, I have to eat with these antibiotics.” he says, pushing off the couch, and heading into the kitchen. “How long do you need to get ready?”

“Um, I don’t know, twenty minutes or so?” you answer, standing quickly and grabbing your phone from the coffee table.

“Alright, I’ll be up there to change in a minute.”

You take the stairs two at a time, rounding the corner into your bedroom, and dashing into the closet. You finger through your hangers searching for the perfect outfit, the idea not occurring to you that you’d need one since he wasn’t even supposed to be home for Valentine’s day this year.

You pull a dark burgundy top from the hanger, the thick sweater material perfect for the cold snap that has swept over Nashville this week. You pull your t-shirt over your head and put it on while reaching for a pair of dark wash jeans. After shimmying into the denim pants, you find a pair of heels, kicking off your socks and securing the buckle at your ankle.

You make a mad dash into the bathroom, doing a quick version of your normal make up and running a curling iron through your hair. You’re spraying your wrist with his favorite perfume just as you see him walk past the bathroom door and into the closet. You can hear him changing clothes, grabbing his coat and pulling it over his arms as he steps into the bathroom and meets your gaze in the mirror.

“Wow, uh, you know it’s freezing out, right? Actually, colder than freezing.” he says, adjusting his sleeves.

“Yeah, I’ll grab my coat from the closet down stairs, no big deal.” you answer, walking towards him and shutting off the bathroom light.

“You sure you want to wear heels?” he asks, as he ushers you downstairs, a lilt in his voice.

You open the coat closet, grabbing your jacket and pulling it over your arms. “Yeah, why not?”

He throws his hands up, “Just asking…”

You grab your purse from the kitchen counter, following his lead out to the car. He makes a point to open your car door, shutting it behind you before skittering across the front of the car to join you.

With the turn of his keys, his Jeep roars to life, his fingers quickly pressing the buttons to turn on the heat. He puts the car in reverse, backing up enough to turn around in the driveway, the gravel crunching beneath his tires. He lays his hand over top of yours on your thigh, clasping your hand in his. He licks over his lips and turns to look at you.

“Hey,” he pauses, waiting until he has your attention. You let your eyes meet his, before he refocuses on the road. “I’m sorry about earlier… I just have a short fuse when I’m in pain. Thank you for taking me today, and thanks for taking care of me.”

“Oh, it’s– it’s okay, I know you don’t feel good. Don’t worry about it, baby. We’re here now, right?” you say, offering him a lopsided smile.

He pats your thigh as he drives down the road, leading you into town as he mouths the words to the songs playing through the speakers. Your heart flutters as you look at him, your head tilting back to rest on the headrest, just happy to be with him, and happy that he changed his mind about doing something tonight.

You’re quickly pulled from your daydreams as he whips the car into the parking lot of Phil’s Tavern, a local spot that is not exactly known for its phenomenal cuisine, sitting a whopping 5 minutes away from your home. You sit up a little straighter, making sure you’re seeing this right, and that he really is parking the car.

“Phil’s…” you question, turning to look at him.

“...Yeah? Did you want something else…?” he asks, as if annoyed you’d question his decision.

“You said– You– I thought we were going to dinner, not picking up sandwiches from the fucking neighborhood bar?!” you shout.

“I’m not getting a sandwich. I’m getting soup. You can get whatever you want.” he says, pulling his keys from the ignition, and opening his door.

A huff leaves your mouth as your jaw hangs slack, watching in shock as he shuts the door behind himself and makes his way to yours. He opens yours and offers you a hand to step down, but you’re still sitting in shock that this is his idea of a romantic Valentine’s day date.

“Josh…” you admonish, looking down at your heels and sweater.

“What? I asked you if you wanted to wear that and you said yes!” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah! I didn’t think we were going to fucking Phil’s, Josh! It’s Valentine’s Day! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there aren’t a lot of cars in the parking lot?!”

He clicks his tongue, and looks around. “Perfect, then we have the place to ourselves.”

Your eyes close on their own and you take a deep breath to keep yourself from having a meltdown. You grab your purse from the floorboard and grab his hand, stepping out of the car and snatching it away from him as soon as your feet hit the gravel.

He shuts the door behind you and locks the car, the two of you walking quickly into the dimly lit bar and grill. You walk up to the counter to order, watching as the bartender throws back a shot with the guys at the end of the bar. You catch his attention and he rushes over to the order counter pulling a pen out of his pocket. “What can I get ‘cha?”

“Hey man, can we uh– I’ll take the soup of the day, whatever it is is fine.”

“It’s ahh, it’s Chicken Tortilla.” he answers.

“Yeah, that’s great, thanks.” he answers, pulling his wallet from his pocket. “Babe?” he murmurs, wanting you to order.

“Okay, I’ll do a Cuban, extra pickles.” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

He nods, “Outta Cuban bread, sorry sweets.”

“Okay I’ll do the Italian then.” you concede, watching him scribble it down on the notepad.

“You want that hot or cold?” he asks.

“Hot.”

“Think our press is down, but I can check.” he says, turning to shout towards the kitchen.

“It’s down, is cold fine?” he asks, him and Josh both staring at you.

“Fuck.” you mutter under your breath. “Yes, fine.”

“$17.97.” he says, ringing the service bell for the staff. Josh swipes his card through the card reader and puts it back into his wallet, placing it back in his pocket before thanking the man at the counter.

“Oh shit, I didn’t tell him it’s to go. You don’t care if we take it home, right? It’s a little loud in here.” he doesn't give you a chance to answer before stepping back up to the window.

You pull your phone from your purse, opening Instagram to mindlessly scroll while you wait for your food, seeing story after story of the dates your friends are on, fueling your rage all the more. You didn’t care that you weren’t at a fancy restaurant. You didn’t care that you were having a sandwich. You cared that he seemingly didn’t care about how you were feeling. That it was just any other old day to him, simply because he didn’t subscribe to the holiday. But that didn’t mean you didn’t. You tried to see the bright side, that he was home, and that you were at least together, even if he was in a sour mood.

He steps back over to you, pulling his own phone from his pocket and sending a few texts. You can’t help but notice how carefree he is, completely unbothered and oblivious to how you’re feeling as you stand right next to him.

“You wanna watch a movie or something when we get back?” he asks, putting his phone in his jacket pocket.

“What movie?” you ask, raising a brow.

“I don’t know, a documentary? We can find something, I’ll probably fall asleep watching it anyways.”

You huff out a laugh, “Of course. Yeah, whatever you want Josh.”

“What’s your deal tonight, Y/N, Jesus…”

You feel your blood boiling beneath your skin and just as you are about to unleash, the order bell rings and a brown paper bag is placed on the counter. Josh steps up and grabs it, pulling his car keys from his pocket and heading for the door, leaving you to follow behind him.

—

He pulls into the driveway rapidly, rocks flying as he throws the car into park. Shutting off the engine he pulls his keys from the ignition and grabs the brown paper bag from the center console. “Come on, let’s get inside. I’ll start the fireplace.”

You huff as you step out of the car, making your way up the walkway, pulling the sleeves of your coat over your hands. He unlocks the front door and places the to-go bag on the kitchen counter on his way to the living room.

You take off your coat and hang it in the closet, pulling your foot up to release the buckles of your heels, letting you drop back down to your normal height. You can hear him mumbling in the living room, clearly having a hard time getting the fire lit. You walk into the kitchen grabbing a bottle of red wine off the top of the fridge, and searching around the junk drawer for the corkscrew. It’s no time at all before you’re popping the cork out of the bottle and pouring the Merlot into a bulbous green colored wine glass.

He joins you in the kitchen, washing his hands in the sink before looking over at you, starting to take the first sip of your wine. “Really? You’re serious…”

“Serious, what? About this glass of wine? Yeah, I am.” you quip, swallowing down the first sip.

“You’re really gonna drink my favorite wine, right in front of me when you know I can’t have any? What are you playing at tonight, Y/N?” he seethes, pulling his plastic container of soup from the bag.

“What am I playing at? I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that just because you can’t drink, meant that I had to follow suit! My mistake!” you shout, setting the glass down on the marble countertop maybe a little more forcefully than you should have.

He shakes his head trying to rid the nasty thoughts you know are swirling around up there as he pulls a spoon from the utensil drawer. “Whatever, I’m gonna take this to the couch.”

You grab a plate from the cabinet in front of you, unwrapping your sandwich and placing it on the plate. You look over and see him tinkering with the TV remote, no doubt queueing up something the two of you have watched, studied, and rewatched a hundred times. You grab your wine glass and your plate and join him in the living room, setting your items on the coffee table before sitting at the opposite end of the couch.

The tension in the air is thick, neither of you wanting to say anything for fear of it turning into yet another argument. So instead, he presses play on the remote, and as suspected, ‘Kubrick by Kubrick’ begins to play for the 77th time in this household.

“Josh, really…” you whine, your shoulders slumping in defeat.

“I don’t want to get too invested in anything, I’m gonna pass out as soon as I finish this soup.” he answers, turning up the volume to effectively silence you.

“Can’t we watch something, I don’t know… With a plot? With a shred of romance? That we haven’t seen a hundred times?” you barter, talking over the intro music.

“Can’t you just let me enjoy being home for once?” he snaps, pressing pause on the remote.

Your eyes dial in on his, and almost poetically, you’re positive he can see the reflection of the flames in the fireplace dancing across your infuriated eyes.

“For once…” you breathe, biting your tongue. “Sure, sure. You uh– you just enjoy yourself, okay? I would hate to ruin your time at home with my presence.” you say, standing up from the couch with your wine glass in hand, leaving your sandwich laying there as you bound up the stairs.

Before you even reach the top you hear the music blare back to life, and the slurping of the soup from his spoon. If you had a bedroom door you would slam it but fucking of course, you don’t.

You place your wine glass on your nightstand before walking into your closet ridding yourself of the wasted outfit. You pull a slinky black satin slip from your pajama drawer, dropping it over your bare body before padding back out to the bedroom to close the curtains.

You draw back the fluffy flax colored duvet, thinking of nothing but positively melting into your olive green linen sheets; a Christmas splurge the two of you decided you couldn’t live without. Sinking down into the feather pillows you let out a sigh, finding yourself exactly where you expected to be tonight, before you ever knew Josh was coming home for a few days.

You settle in with your glass of wine and your kindle, reading love stories of men, who at this point, you were sure didn’t really exist. An hour or so later, when the wine was long gone, and the house had grown quiet you heard the front door lock, and the flick of the light switches downstairs. You switched off your lamp, hoping to avoid any further conversation for the night, placing your tablet on the nightstand and pulling the sheets up over your shoulders.

His footfall is light as he pads up the wooden stairs, rounding the corner hesitantly as he catches sight of you in the bed. He slides his hand down the wall as he enters the room, walking quietly into the bathroom and shutting the door. You can hear the sink running and the sound of him tossing his clothes into the hamper as you close your eyes and will yourself to fall asleep.

It’s not long until you hear the door open and feel the dip in the bed as he slides in behind you, a gentle sigh leaving his lips as he sinks into the sheets. You feel the brush of his knuckles as they glide up your spine. “I know you’re not asleep, my love…”

Knowing you’re caught, you turn softly to your back, “No, you don’t know. I could have been.”

A soft smile forms on his lips, a few misplaced curls falling over his forehead, “Not true. I know you fall asleep with your arms over your head every single night. And in the middle of the bed. You never sleep on your side of the bed.”

“Well maybe I want to tonight.” you quip, rolling back to your side and repositioning the sheets.

“Come on baby, don’t be like that.” he says, wrapping his arm around your waist. He pulls you towards him, his obviously nude body conforming to yours. You can feel him, hard against your back and you push away from him.

“Josh…” you scold.

“What, baby…” he asks, running his hand along the curve of your waist. “I miss you…”

“You didn’t an hour ago!” you sneer.

“Yes I did! I miss you all the time! Every single day I’m away from you. That’s why you moved in, remember? So I could spend every day with you when I’m home?” he pauses, “Every night like this?”

“Josh, I just– Tonight was… Well the entire day, really, was rough. I’m not exactly in a romantic mood at the moment.” you answer.

“Well that’s okay, you can just blow me instead.” he says, more of a demand than a question, his lips brushing against your shoulder.

“Oh can I?! How generous of you to offer that to me! What a privilege!” you mock. “You really have earned it, I can’t believe I didn’t think of this myself!” you scorn, reaching for his hand and shoving it towards his dick. “Try that instead!”

“Goddamn you’re being such a bitch!” he seethes, throwing the duvet off of himself and snatching his phone from the nightstand.

“Yeah! Happy Valentine’s day to you too, Josh!” you spit one last time as you watch him pull on a pair of boxers. He smooths his hand over his face and runs his tongue under his lips, looking at you one more time before stomping his way down the stairs.

—

JOSH POV

It took you approximately fourteen seconds after you said it to know you fucked up. It took you two more seconds to realize there was no coming back from it, at least that’s what you deduced as you tossed and turned on the living room couch all night. You spent those sleepless hours racking your brain for ways you could fix this. You were a dick, admittedly, in pain or not, and she in no way deserved the way you treated her.

You pulled your sore body up from the couch, tossing the throw blanket over the arm as you made your way up the stairs. She was still sleeping, sprawled across the middle of the bed with your pillow hugged to her face. You wished you could take back what you said. You wished you had taken her somewhere nicer than Phil’s. You should have known that when you saw her in heels and smelled your favorite perfume. She dressed up for you. But you couldn’t see past your own selfish needs. You only cared about yourself and what you wanted.

You kicked yourself the entire time you spent under the spray of the shower, knowing that of the three sporadic days you would spend at home with her, you’d let one go completely to shit. Then tonight, you’d spend the whole night schmoozing with label executives, where she would willingly stand in your shadow until it was time to go home.

Unless…

A smile spread across your face as you formulated your plan, and as you shut off the water and wrapped a towel around your waist you hoped and prayed it would work.

—

You rap your knuckles against the old wooden front door, peeking through the glass to see if there is any movement inside. It’s nearly noon and you know he’s in there, but whether or not he’s awake is the question. You shove your hands into your pockets, the cold air whipping through the porch a little too harshly for your liking.

You hear his footsteps bounding down the stairs and you see him appear through the glass, a strange look on his face as he opens the door.

“If you’re on my doorstep, you want something that a text wouldn’t cover.” he says, raising a brow.

“Can I not come visit my twin?” you ask, pushing past him into his warm house.

“No, I think your last words to me when we left the airport were ‘Fuck off, don’t call me, I’ll see you in three days’, but I could be mistaken.” he says, shutting the front door.

“Listen…” you counter, flopping yourself down onto his couch with a huff.

He stands across the living room with his hands on his hips and a small smile on his lips. There’s something different about him, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Almost like a little bit of life has been breathed into him.

“Why do you look different…” you ask, the intrusive thought pushing through.

“I don’t.” he says, putting his hands on his hips. His eyes flick up to the window behind you, before looking back at you.

You cut your eyes at him, you can tell he’s not telling the truth but you let it go because you have more important issues to deal with.

“I need a favor.” you say, cutting right to the chase.

He raises his eyebrows signaling for you to continue.

“I need you to go to this event tonight in my place, I–”

“No.” he shouts, cutting you off.

“Jake, please. Y/N and I got in a huge fight and I have to make it up to her and I can’t if I have to go to this fucking thing tonight.” you explain, giving him the shortened version.

“No. Actually, my answer is not only no, but fuck no.” Jake stood with his arms crossed across his chest. You let your head flop back onto his couch, a groan leaving your chest.

“You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t fucking dire.” You plead. “I fucked up, and I have to make it right. Please Jake…”

“Jesus Christ, it’s Thanksgiving all over again. You know Josh, if you and Y/N didn’t fight like this every other day, I might be more willing to consider it. One day you’re gonna fuck around and lose her for good.” he says, shaking his head and rubbing his hand over his chin. “Hold on, you two fought on Valentine’s day? Fuckin’ poetic. What did you do, buy the wrong flowers? The wrong chocolates?”

“No, I… Didn’t get her flowers.” you mumble, hoping he didn’t hear you.

“Okay, so no flowers. Did you take her out to dinner or something?” he asks, tilting his head.

“No, I mean, well, kind of.” you mumble again. “Didn’t really think about it.”

“Where did you take her Josh.” he demands, crossing his arms again.

“We went to Phil’s…And got…To-go…” you answer, realizing again as you say it out loud how bad it sounds.

“The fucking sandwich place Josh, you’re kidding me…” he spits, starting to pace around the room.

“Don’t act all high and mighty Jacob, you sat home alone...” you retort, knowing this isn’t helping your case.

He lifts his finger to you, pointing at you with a scowl, “Fuck you. Also, it sounds like she was justified. Didn’t she take you to the doctor yesterday? Hasn’t she been catering to your ass since we’ve been back?”

“Yeah.” you answer.

“And you didn’t plan a single thing at all…” he confirms.

“Correct.” you say, over enunciating the ‘T’.

“Asshole.”

“Okay, so you agree, I fucked up and need to fix this.” you say, gesturing with your hands. “So go to the event tonight in my place and let me smooth things over with Y/N tonight.”

“Sorry, but I can’t. I have plans.” he answers, shrugging his shoulders.

“Plans?! With who? You don’t leave your house!” you shout, seeing a blur of black fur and claws tear across the living room. “Jesus, I always forget you have that thing.”

“Yeah, I’m not keeping it.” he says, shaking his head. “And it’s none of your business. You’re going to that event. The label doesn’t care if you’re in a fight with your girlfriend. They are expecting you, and you are who they’re gonna get. Plus, Sam will be there so you don’t have to do all the talking. Take her with you, lay it on thick, and take her home. Things will blow over like they always do and you’ll be back to your 2AM facetime gushy bullshit in no time.”

“Fuck…” you sigh, laying down across his couch. “I just don’t think it’s gonna go that way. This was a bigger fight than usual.” you say, feeling your phone vibrating in your pocket. You pull it out to see your timer flashing, indicating it is time for your next dose of antibiotics.

You reach into your other pocket, pulling out the loose pill, and grabbing the glass of water you assume to be Jake’s from the coffee table. You swallow down the pill as he watches in contempt, checking the time on his phone.

“Do you need anything else?” he asks, pacing around his living room.

“No. Guess fuckin’ not. What are you getting into today?” you ask, relaxing back into the cushions.

“I have… some errands to run. And a few other things.” he says, dismissively.

“Errands and a few other things? Who the fuck are you…” you ask, stretching your legs out on to the coffee table.

“I was about to take a shower, are you staying or going?” he asks, and as you lay your head back on the couch your eyes start to feel heavy.

“Just gonna rest my eyes for a minute.” you answer, getting more comfortable.

“Goddamnit, Josh… Okay, but you’re leaving when I do.”

—

The sound of the front door closing is what wakes you, and as you come to you see Jake standing in front of you with grocery bags, clearly back from his errands.

“Well, good morning.” he says, his tone a little snipped.

“Shit, what time is it?” you ask, pulling your phone from your pocket and checking the time. Fuck.

“Yeah, time for you to go the fuck home and get ready.” he says, making his way into the kitchen.

“Alright, I’m outta here, good luck with your… plans…” you smirk, making your way to the door.

“Don’t need luck, but sounds like you do. Fix it, Josh.” he says, pushing you out the front door and slamming it behind you.

—

HER POV

As you leave the house, you think back on how many hours it’s been since you spoke to Josh. He popped into the bedroom when he got home and let you know that you had to leave by 6 to get to the event on time, but you don’t really count that as a conversation. You hadn’t actually exchanged words since your argument before bed.

The two of you sit in complete silence as he drives, the radio turned down so low it’s barely audible. You hold your jacket close around you, unable to shake the chill from the awful cold snap plaguing Nashville.

As you arrive, Josh quickly gets out of his Jeep, jogging around to your door to open it and offer you a hand to step out. You accept it, begrudgingly, and steady yourself on the asphalt. You opted for smaller heels tonight, a little scorned from the night before. You look at him and see his slightly forced smile under the streetlight. He’s in his favorite brown suit, his hair in perfect curls, three tiny, metallic dots painted on the apples of his cheeks. He looks sinfully good, and if you weren’t so upset with him, you’d kiss him square on the lips.

“I know you don’t want to be here. Just… at least try to smile in the pictures, okay?” He says, a hopeful lilt to his voice.

You give him a little side-eye before starting to walk towards the front doors of the venue. He catches up with you after locking the car, his hand landing on your upper back as he ushers you into the front door he’s holding open for you.

The two of you wait in line for the coat check, your eyes scanning the lobby for anyone you may know. You don’t recognize anyone, so you shuffle ahead in line and keep your coat pulled tight around you. Once you’re a bit further up in line, almost to the front, you hear a familiar voice.

“Heeeeey guys!”

Sam’s arms wrap around both of you from behind, pulling you into a forced group hug. He unintentionally cuts the entire coat check line to stand with you and Josh.

“Hi Sammy,” you mumble, giving him a halfhearted smile. He looks to Josh, who forces a grin, his nose scrunching up in a way that makes it clear to Sam that the two of you aren’t getting along. It’s nothing new to Sam, so he shrugs it off.

The line moves again and you’re finally at the front. A friendly young girl is standing behind the podium at the entry to the closet, a few guys running back and forth to take coats and put them in their assigned spots. She offers the three of you a smile as she looks down and tears a tab in half.

“Can I take your coat, sir?” she asks Josh as you start to shrug your own off your shoulders.

“Ohoho, trying to get me out of my clothes, young lady? I just walked in the door!” he says, like he’s some sort of comedian. You roll your eyes so hard you think they may fall out of your head and fold your coat over your arm. She laughs, her cheeks turning pink as she accepts your coat instead. She dutifully hands the coat to the boy behind her, then offers the other half of the ticket up, between you and Josh for either to grab it.

“And now you’re trying to give me your number?” he jokes with a charismatic grin, seeing the number 107 on your ticket. She lets out a shameless giggle at that one and you can’t help but shake your head and walk away, uninterested in hearing any more of his god awful jokes. You arrived in a terrible mood and he’s already managed to make your night worse.

Passing through the entrance to the cocktail hour, you grab a glass of champagne and thank the server. Taking a big sip, you look behind you and see Sam and Josh approaching, Josh talking animatedly with his hands to Sam, but Sam is looking straight ahead. At you.

His eyes scan over your figure- you’re in a champagne satin mini-dress. The cowl neckline is loose, but the waist pulls in due to the lace-up back. The shimmery color is brought to life under the light right above where you’re standing. Sam isn’t listening to a single word Josh is saying, just nodding and staring at you from a distance as his steps slow.

It’s then that you cook up a terrible idea, if not the worst you’ve ever had. If Josh wants to treat you like he doesn’t care about you and put more romantic energy into the coat check girl than he’s shown you in days, you may as well give him a taste of his own medicine. Right?

Sam eventually pulls his eyes away from your body, nodding cluelessly at Josh. He can’t help it and looks back at you again, but this time, Josh’s gaze follows his. You sip your champagne, ignoring the way Josh’s eyebrows raise in surprise as his neck cranes forward slightly. You can read his lips as he says, “Jesus Christ.” and look away without giving him a reaction.

The two of them make their way over to the high top cocktail table you’ve claimed as your own. Josh clears his throat and musters up the courage to speak to you. His voice sounds like it might crack.

“I’ve never seen that dress. Where’d you get it?” he asks, giving you another once-over now that he’s closer.

“You sent it to me while you were in Paris for my birthday.” you answer dryly. “Or was that your assistant too?”

He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, realizing he’s just dug himself a little bit deeper.

“Come to think of it, Josh, have you ever bought me a gift yourself? Or do you just send the people that work for you on errands to ship me fancy baubles to keep me quiet and occupied while you’re away?”

He steps a little closer to you, lowering his voice.

“Do we have to do this here?” he pleads. “I’m sorry I didn’t remember. You look beautiful. Okay? Let me go get you a drink. What do you want?”

You cut your eyes to Sam, who seems to be trying to occupy himself by staring up at the ceiling. Letting out a big sigh, you mumble back a tired, “Champagne,” to Josh.

He nods and walks off, heading for the bar. In the meantime, you look at Sam, who’s giving you a nervous smile.

“Sorry. It’s been… a rough few days.” You confess. “This ear thing has turned him into a jackass.”

“Oh, yeah. He complained the whole way home.” Sam says, commiserating.

“So it’s not just me?!” You laugh, Sam joining you.

“No no. Not just you.”

You notice Josh is on his way back and decide to test the waters. Reaching forward, you step closer to Sam and adjust the collar of his shirt under his suit jacket, your touch lingering as you let your hand brush down the front of his chest before tugging his jacket into place and pulling your hands back to yourself. You’re in close proximity, so you look up at him with a little bat of your eyelashes.

“Oh. Thank you!” He says, a little caught off guard, but he’s Sam, and he’s friendly, and you know he’s going to let you get away with it.

Josh appears and somehow squeezes his arm between you and Sam, placing your champagne on the table. He’s noticed the mischievous glint in your eye and it’s game on.

The event starts to pick up, more and more people roping Josh into conversations. It’s obvious that he’s the more recognizable of the two brothers there tonight, so you find yourself left standing with Sam on more than a few occasions.

“Did you trim your hair?” You ask him, reaching out to twirl the end of his shiny brown locks around your finger. He chuckles softly, feeling a little bashful. Josh is at your side but deep in conversation with a man you’ve never seen in your life.

“Yeeaaaaah, I did, it was getting a little unruly. Just trying to keep it healthy. I’m surprised you noticed.”

“Of course I noticed, Sammy. Some people may not notice you. But I always do.” Your voice is syrupy sweet. You feel a nudge from the other side of you and Josh is clearly eavesdropping, his brain working overtime as he nods at the gentleman talking his ear off while also listening to you and Sam. Sam doesn’t notice and gives you a soft laugh, shrugging. His cheeks are tinted a little pink. He’s too easy.

“Why don’t we go find our table for dinner, hm?” Josh suggests, cutting his conversation short, which is just not in his character. You finish your last sip of champagne and leave your glass on the table.

“You heard him. C’mon, Sammy boy.”

You reach for his arm, linking it with yours. Josh gives you a look, but you usher him forward with a dismissive gesture. He glowers at you before walking toward the seating chart to see that the three of you are at table six. Sam follows along, his hand in his pocket as you hold on to his forearm.

You settle into the chair between Sam and Josh. You opt for the chicken when the caterers come around, and both Sam and Josh go for the fish. There are a few speeches that go on before your plates arrive, so you sit politely and listen, Josh’s back to you as the speakers present. Since Sam is behind you, there are a few points where you turn around to laugh with him about something the presenter says. Josh stays facing forward, effectively blocking the two of you out.

As your plates are delivered, everyone starts to eat, the table occasionally chattering, but it’s mostly quiet as some music plays.

“How’s the chicken?” Josh asks, trying to make small talk. You take a bite, nodding.

“Really good. And the fish?” You ask politely, but you don’t really care.

“Delicious. Do you want a bite?” He asks, gesturing to his plate with his utensils.

“Oh, no. No thanks.” You reply, turning away. He shrugs and goes back to eating his dinner, sipping his water.

“Do you wanna try a bite of the chicken, Sammy?” You ask, raising your eyebrows. You give him a soft smile as he nods, swallowing his bite.

Cutting a piece, you lift your fork towards Sam and he instinctively opens his mouth. Your other hand comes up under his chin to make sure he doesn’t get any sauce on his jacket. He accepts the bite from your fork and chews, nodding.

“Oh, that’s really good. I should have gotten that.” He says, talking with his mouth full. It’s then that the stranger next to Sam interjects.

“How long have you two been together?” She says, a nosey but well meaning woman. Josh nearly chokes on his dinner, pulling his cloth napkin up to his mouth as he coughs. It’s such a distraction that you don’t hear what Sam says to her.

Once Josh stops coughing, he looks at you with a subtle anger behind his eyes.

“Can you stop? I get it. You made your point.” Josh grumbles through gritted teeth. You feign innocence, blinking at him with bullshit doe eyes.

“What point, Josh?”

“You’re flirting with my brother so blatantly that strangers think you’re dating. What the fuck am I supposed to do, just sit here and let it happen?”

Sam, realizing tensions are high, starts to stand up.

“I’m gonna go get some air…” he says, departing from the table like it’s on fire.

“I’m not flirting with him. I’m just being nice to him. You remember what that is, right? Being nice?” You say with an attitude, tilting your head as you wait for an answer.

“Cut it out.” He tenses his jaw and his mouth barely moves as he scolds you like you’re some kind of dog.

“Fuck you, Josh.” You’re not putting up with it for another second, so you push away from the table, grab your drink, and head in the direction Sam went.

As you sneak through the crowds and the bar lines, you check to see if Josh is following you, but he’s still seated at the table. You see Sam through the glass doors, standing under a tent that’s doing little to nothing to stop the wind, smoking a cigarette. Gently pressing against the push bar, you slip outside and approach him tentatively.

It’s quiet between the two of you as he gives you a smile that’s more of a grimace, though you know him and know that it’s not his intention.

“Two wrongs don’t make a right, you know that, right?” He says, giving you a knowing smirk as he exhales some smoke. You sigh, kicking at a pebble beneath your feet. You hold your glass of champagne with both hands, your thumb nervously running along the side of it.

“I feel like I do. But sometimes I can’t help myself.” You peer up at him, a coy smile spreading across your face. He lets out a laugh, shaking his head.

“You two are a match made in hell,” he starts, bringing the cigarette back to his lips. “But I can’t imagine him with anyone else.”

You roll your eyes. Lately you’ve been feeling like Josh doesn’t even want to be with you anymore, but it’s not like you would have time to even discuss splitting up in person, since he’s hardly around long enough. Instead of divulging any of that to Sam, you lift your head and step closer.

“Can I have a drag of that?” You ask, giving him a mischievous smirk.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You know how he is.” Sam says, well aware that the only thing Josh thinks it’s okay to smoke is not cigarettes.

“Just one.” You bargain, looking out at the parking lot for a moment, then up at him with doe eyes. He can’t help but smile at you in return.

“Don’t even touch it. He’ll smell it on your hands.” He jokes, turning it around in his fingers and holding it towards you. You tilt up your chin, smiling sweetly before he moves it closer to your pouty, glossy lips. Your eyes close gently and you start to inhale.

Within seconds, it’s pulled from your lips, and all you hear is Sam’s thick Michigan accent as he whines, “OWWWW!” your eyes shooting open.

“I will break every bone in your fuckin’ hand if you don’t get the fuck out of here right now, Samuel.” Josh threatens, suddenly outside with the two of you on the patio. Sam grabs the cigarette from his restrained hand with his free one, dropping it to the ground and stepping on it with wide eyes.

Josh pushes his arm towards him as he lets it go and Sam nearly trips over himself, mumbling a startled, “Jesus Christ.” before adjusting his suit jacket and heading for the door.

“And you.” Josh is positively seething, as he steps up to you. “What am I going to do with you, hm?”

You nervously step backwards, leaning onto the railing behind you as he cages you in. “Josh, I’m–”

“Oh, it’s a little late for that, don't you think? I fucking warned you, Y/N.” His hand grips into your elbow, yanking your forward and dragging you behind him as you make your way back inside the building. “Get your fucking coat and meet me at the front door.” he says, releasing you as you enter back into the large crowd.

You walk back over to your table, collecting your bag and your champagne before rushing over towards the coat check. You hand the same girl your ticket stub, and you anxiously sip your champagne as you wait. You may have pushed him too far this time. Seconds later she returns with your coat, and you take it with a smile, pulling it over your arms and making your way to the front door.

Josh is waiting, chewing a piece of gum a little harsher than necessary. His jaw is hard set and his cheeks are pink and you know this does not bode well for you. As you approach him he offers a small wave and a smile to someone behind you, before letting his eyes drift back to yours, full of fury, the tension returning to his body.

“Oh, so you can listen.” he says, yanking the large glass door open, both of you being hit with the cold outside air. You step out the door and begin the walk to the car, clutching your jacket close to your body. Your teeth chatter as the wind hits you, your whole body shivering.

“What, are you cold in that slutty little dress?” he asks, walking a little too quickly for you to keep up with him. “Seemed just fine on the patio with Sam. Suck it up and keep walking.”

He turns his head looking back at you as you try to drink down the rest of your champagne. He reaches for the glass, ripping it from your hand and tossing it into the bushes. You hear the glass shatter and you’re a little taken aback. You’ve never seen him this mad before, and you hate that you kinda like it.

“Josh!” you shout, you cheeks heating at his aggressiveness, and you think the alcohol in your system is to blame for that.

“What has gotten into you, Y/N?! You think– You think you can just go around acting like a little slut at my work events? With my fucking brother? Do you know how that looks!?” he shouts, as you round the corner, steadily approaching the car. He is still chewing the gum too hard, hoping it will relieve some of the tension pulsing through his body.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Josh, I think the pain meds are making you crazy.” you scoff, completely brushing off his accusations, even though he is completely right.

“Oh, fuck offff…It’s not the pain meds, it’s you! You’re making me fucking crazy! Running around like a little trollop just to make me irate for sport!” he yells, his midwestern accent peeking out in his anger.

He reaches for the door handle, yanking it open to let you step in, regardless of how angry he currently is. As you position yourself in the seat you turn to look at him, ready to deliver another snarky comment but as you open your mouth he cuts his eyes and slams the car door closed. You huff and fasten your seatbelt as he joins you on the other side.

He starts the car and peels out of the parking spot, spinning the tires as he pulls out onto the main road. Your hands grasp at the door handle for stability, his expression unwavering as he continues to blow down the backstreets of downtown Nashville.

“Josh, I–”

“No. Silence. Don’t say another fucking word until I speak to you first. Got it?” he snaps, the fury is thick in his voice.

You cross your arms over your chest, debating whether or not to taunt him further. As if he can hear your thoughts he turns to you, speaking through clenched teeth.

“Not. A. Fucking. Word.”

The rest of the drive home was spent in silence, and you could tell he was compiling his list of your transgressions. You knew that the second the front door shut behind you he was going to unleash every bit of it on you, and to be quite honest, you couldn’t wait.

Once he tears recklessly up the driveway, he kills the engine and the headlights. Throwing open the door, he slams it behind him and makes his way around to the passenger side. Despite his burning anger, he’s still insistent on opening your door for you. He offers you a hand and when you take it, you feel how warm he is to the touch. Hopping down to the ground, he lets you steady yourself, then tugs your hand so you’re forced to walk in front of him. He lets go once he knows you’ve gotten the hint and start off wobbling through the gravel in your heels like a baby deer as he locks the car.

You wait next to the front door, knowing Josh has his keys and you opted to leave yours at home to save space in your clutch. He ignores you, his jaw still working overtime on the probably stale gum in his mouth, turning the key in the lock and pushing into the house. He leaves the door open for you to follow him in, so you do, shutting it gently as you slip off your heels.

He tosses his keys onto the dining table and you watch as they slide to a halt as he rids himself of his suit coat, tossing it over the back of a chair. You make a move towards the closet, ready to hang your own coat but as you walk he steps in front of you, snatching the thick black fabric from your hands to throw it over the same chair. He stares at you with a hardened jaw, his face and ears red as he prepares for his onslaught, and as a small grin turns up the corner of your lips you see his anger tip the scales to catastrophic.

“I don’t know why you’re so worked up, Josh. If I didn’t know any better I would say you’re acting a bit jealous. Or threatened, maybe?” you pause, tapping your finger to your chin. “Yeah, I think threatened is the right word. Are you nervous little Sammy is gonna steal your spotlight and your girl?”

“Steal my spotlight?” he responds, scoffing. It’s clear you hit a nerve there. “You need to learn when to keep your mouth shut. Especially when it comes to things you know nothing about.”

“I know how many people were bumping elbows with him tonight, talking about his upcoming projects, barely even asking about the album. He’s got his own career now.” you double down, narrowing your eyes at him, twisting the knife. He steps closer to you, his nostrils flaring as he takes a deep breath. You know he’s about to lay into you for that.

“You should be grateful I even let you tag along to these fucking things.” he snaps, his voice raising. “You know, there’s a hell of a lot you should be grateful for, now that I think of it. Do you know how easy it would be for me to find a nice, quiet girl who waits patiently for me to come home and doesn’t spend every waking moment reminding me of my shortcomings?”

You don’t like the direction he’s taking this, and you’re realizing you may have pushed him a little too far.

“I could go down the line and pick any one I wanted, but I still come home to you. And this is what I have to put up with?”

“So do it then! Go ahead and take your pick!” you shout, throwing your hands in the air. His cheeks grow red, and his eyes narrow.

“But you won’t, will you Josh... Because you know that not a single one of them will stick around once they find out how you really are. When they find themselves home alone night after night. When you don’t speak to them for days at a time when you’re writing or on the road. When you miss their birthday… and every major holiday for that matter. When they find out that your idea of love and romance is having your assistant buy hush gifts you can’t be bothered to choose yourself. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s the one texting me from your phone, too!”

He slams his fist down on the dining table, his keys rattling against the wood. “That is not true, and you know it!”

“But it is, and you know who puts up with it? Me, because I love you. And I can promise that you’ll be hard pressed to find someone else who is willing to deal with all of that.”

“Dare me?” he challenges, wincing slightly as the pressure builds in his ear.

“I don’t know Josh, is that what you want? Wouldn’t say I’d be surprised with how you’ve been acting lately.” you say, pushing away from the kitchen table and walking further into the house.

“How I’ve been acting lately?” he scoffs, following after you, hot on your heels.

“Yeah! Like I’m such a burden to bear. Like you’d rather I wasn’t here. I’m practically your glorified assistant, or arm candy when you feel like dragging me along.”

You start to climb the stairs toward your bedroom, needing to get out of your dress and away from him. Unfortunately, Josh isn’t one to ever let you have the last word, and he starts bounding up the staircase after you.

“Is that what this is about? You’re still mad you had to bring me to the doctor? God forbid I ask you to do something besides complain and spend my money. I needed your help, because if you haven’t noticed, something pretty serious happened to me, but for some reason you won’t stop giving me a hard fucking time about it!” That comment about the money stops you in your tracks, leaving you glaring down at him on the step below you.

“It’s not about your money and it’s not about me having to help you. It’s about you not giving a shit about how I feel and blowing me off when I try to tell you. All I want is for you to care! Have we grown so far apart that seeing me upset doesn’t even phase you anymore?”

Josh runs his tongue over his teeth as he tries to conjure up a response. He steps up so he’s on the landing with you, a little bit of silence settling over you both.

“And you thought…” he starts, looking out the window behind you for a moment, then back to your eyes. “You thought the way to get me to care… was to behave like a little slut?”

The energy suddenly shifts between you. You know that in the silence, he must have had a realization that he’s not meeting your needs. You feel your mouth go a little dry and you take a step backwards, reaching to hold on to the railing.

“I–”

“You know what I think…” he says, moving closer, caging you in with his arms. “I think that I’ve been gone too long…” his breath is hot on your cheeks. “I think you’re due for an attitude adjustment.”

Your breath catches in your throat as you grip into the bannister. You swallow nervously, as his hand moves to meet your satin covered waist. “Yeah, I think I need to remind you just how good you have it, don’t I sweetheart?”

The words are there, swirling through your head but as his eyes peer into yours, nothing seems to come out.

“S’matter, baby? Nothin’ to say suddenly? No smart ass remarks? I’m right, aren’t I? You need me to fuck some sense into you?” he growls, his fingers gripping into the curve of your waist. He nods his head in the direction of your bedroom, a crooked smirk on his face.

“Go ahead and take off your earrings, baby. Get out of that unbecoming little dress and wait for me on the bed.” he says softly, rubbing a thumb over the apple of your cheek before walking off and locking himself in the bathroom.

The cocktail of emotions your brain is floating in has you dizzy. You want to be angry at him, but you’re starting to feel a little embarrassed as you think back on how you acted at dinner. Part of you wants to cry, his harsh words hitting you where he knew it would hurt, but another is so turned on by the way he just flipped the switch on the entire emotionally charged exchange.

You shuffle into your shared bedroom, sitting gingerly at your vanity and taking off all of your jewelry. As you take off your rings, you stare at the earrings and necklace in your porcelain dish, remembering when he had gifted each piece to you. Maybe it’s not that he doesn’t care how long or how often he’s away…he just doesn’t know how to make it better. So he sends you trinkets from wherever he visits, reminding you that you’re on his mind. Your heart lurches as you realize that maybe all he wanted while he was away from home was a quiet dinner with you, his love, at Phil’s, and that’s why he didn’t take you out to an expensive steakhouse where you would undoubtedly sit awkwardly across from each other and make conversation. He wanted comfort. He wanted what he knows no other woman can give him.

You hear the water start to run, which zaps you back into the moment. Standing from the velvet upholstered stool, you head for the walk-in closet and try to reach for the zipper on your dress. You can’t exactly get to it, stretching to try and pinch the zipper between your fingers. The bathroom door opens and you whip your head around, knowing he’s going to come looking for you.

It’s only seconds before you feel his warm hands gliding across your hips, no doubt knowing you need his help with the zipper. Perhaps that’s why he purchased the dress to begin with. Knowing he would be the one to help you take it off. He moves your hair, laying it all to one side of your neck before pressing his lips to your skin. His fingers pinch the small zipper as he slides it down, letting the silk dress flutter down around your ankles.

“Tell me you know that I love you.” he breathes, his lips brushing against your neck.

“I know you love me.” you answer, breathless as your chest heaves.

His hands slide around to your bare stomach, pulling your body back until you’re flush with his own. “Now, tell me you’ll remember that.”

“I’ll remember.” you whisper, feeling him long and hard as he rests against your back.

He grabs your hips and spins you around to face him, cupping your cheeks in his hands. “Good, because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

A gasp leaves your chest as your eyes meet his, dark and blown out. He drags his thumb over your lips, smearing the remnants of your pink lipstick across your chin. “Now get on the bed like I told you the first time.”

Reluctantly pulling away from him, you make your way back into the bedroom, kneeling on the bed, sitting on your heels. You nervously cover your chest with your hands, the room feeling a little cold all of the sudden. He steps into the room, his hand lingering on the doorframe.

“Move your hands,” he says, his voice quiet but stern. “You wanted the entire dinner table to see them. Why can’t I?”

Your cheeks burn red as you lower your hands to your lap. He approaches, his eyes scanning every inch of you like he’s appraising you.

“He didn’t touch you, did he?” he asks, pushing your hair behind your ear. “My brother?”

You quickly start to shake your head. Maybe a little too quickly. You watch him with careful eyes as he lets his hand gently graze your throat, then move further down, the gears in his head turning.

“I bet you wanted him to, though…” he adds, pinching at your nipple teasingly, wanting a reaction. You take in a sharp breath between your teeth.

“No.” you say defensively.

“You like Sam because he’s so sweet. He cares. That’s what you want, right? Someone to wipe away your tears when you cry about meaningless shit? You know that’s his specialty.”

“I don’t like Sam. I just wanted–”

“Save it.” Josh snaps, grabbing harshly at your cheeks to shut you up. He stares at you for a moment before placing a gentle kiss to your squished lips. He pulls away quickly, but doesn’t release his grip on your cheeks.

“If you want to act like a little whore, I’m going to treat you like one. If I want to hear you speak, I’ll tell you.”

He pushes you backwards as he releases his hand, landing you in the pile of soft feather pillows behind you. He stands up from the bed, shimmying off his boxers before crawling back onto the bed in front of you. His eyes meet yours and for a second there is a softness there, almost as if he is asking if you’re okay with this. You offer him a subtle nod before he lowers his head and begins to drag his nose up the length of your leg.

“Did you have fun tonight, flitting around the place, drink in hand, practically begging to be fucked in the bathroom? Hm? Is that what you wanted?” he asks, pressing a hot kiss to the inside of your thigh.

You squirm beneath him as the filthy words leave his angelic lips. “Did you want him to take you away and fuck your stupid little brains out? Answer me.”

“No.” you reply, desperate to feel his lips on your body. “I… I wanted…” you stammer, your bravery leaving you with every shaky breath. He places an open mouthed kiss to your mound, but freezes once your words trail off.

“You never stop talking, but now you’re at a loss for words? Fucking say it, Y/N.”

“I wanted you!” you cry out, your head falling back onto your pillow, a heavy sigh leaving your chest. He squeezes the softness of your thigh before he speaks.

“And you really thought that would work?” he asks, nipping at your soft skin, chuckling quietly. “You’re dumber than I thought.”

You feel your skin grow hot at his words, your hips jerking upwards on their own accord.

“You like that, don’t you? You like it when I call you my stupid little girl?” he asks, sucking a mark into your thigh. “My dumb little brat?”

A whine leaves your chest as you feel his tongue slowly start to slide through your folds.

He pulls away from you, “Ah, ah… Be quiet, remember? I know it’s hard for you to do as you’re told, but if I have to remind you again you aren’t going to like what happens.”

You stifle your moan and move your hips as his hands hold you in place, his tongue reconnecting with your core as he makes slow, languid laps against you. “Did I leave this pretty pussy too long? Does she miss me and need my attention?”

He moves his hands to let his thumbs spread you further, swirling his tongue over your clit. “I think she misses me so bad that it’s got you acting crazy, my love.” His lips suction against you, sucking you into his mouth with a lewd slurp. His hands slide up to your hips, pulling you closer to his face. His tongue grazes your entrance, dipping in just long enough to tease you. He presses a kiss to your clit before pulling away again.

“You must be crazy if you think my brother could do even half of what I do to you. No one, no one, treats this pussy like I do. Worships this pussy like I do.”

“Josh…” you whine, the word leaving your lips before you could stop it.

You feel a sharp flick to your clit and you cry out, your body jumping in response.

“I told you that you wouldn’t like it.” he says, pressing a kiss to your sensitive clit, as if to soothe the pain he inflicted. You feel a rush of warmth at your core, your body responding positively to his actions.

“Oh, baby, fuck…” he groans, sliding his fingers thorough the wetness. “But you do like it. You love it.” He pauses, locking eyes with you. “Answer me.”

“I–Yes…” you breathe, feeling his smile against your core.

“My dirty, sweet, baby likes a little pain with her pleasure.” he growls, sliding a finger inside of you. You clench around it, desperate for more. “Yeah? More? You want two or three?” he asks, his eyes flicking to yours.

“T-Three.” you beg, breathless as you feel him slide in two more.

His lips find your clit again, suckling the sensitive nub into his mouth, rolling his tongue over it again and again as his fingers work you from the inside. The pressure is growing and you know you’re close. He must feel you fluttering around him, so he pulls his fingers and mouth away from you quicker than you can blink.

“Nu-uh. Not until I say so, and I do believe I’d like to get mine first tonight... You know, for my troubles.”

A huff leaves your chest as you look at him, sitting back up to rest on his heels.

“You know baby, I think I’m feelin’ a little reckless tonight...I’m thinkin’ maybe we skip the condom, what do you say?”

Your eyes widen in surprise, Josh always having been completely adamant that you use protection. Always. Despite being on birth control. You can count the number of times you’ve gone without a condom on one hand over the three years you’ve been together.

“Are–Are you sure?” you ask.

“Yeah, I think you need the full effect… need to really feel me so you can remember your place. Remember why you count down the days until I come home.” he says, fisting his base.

“Although,” he says thoughtfully before pausing. “… if I’m going to fuck you like a whore, I’m gonna have to wear one. Standard procedure, you understand…” he mumbles, reaching over to his nightstand and pulling a silver foil package from the drawer. You feel your heart drop as he rips it out of the package and effectively rips the opportunity away from you. A quiet, disappointed whine leaves your throat.

He clicks his tongue as he watches your face drop, “Aw, what is it? Did you want my cock?” he asks, a smug grin on his face. “If you behaved yourself I probably would have given you what you wanted. It’s a shame, really.”

“Please…” you whine, hoping he doesn’t notice the tears in the corners of your eyes.

“Oh she’s begging for it. God, you really are so sweet when you want to be.” he says, rolling the condom over his cock.

“Josh come on, please!” it’s a pathetic whine as it leaves your mouth, but you don’t care.

His hand collides with the side of your hip, a loud smack ringing through the room. “Don’t be a little brat. You’ll take what you’re given.”

A whimper leaves your lips as the sting sets in. “That hu—”

“What? Hurt? That’s typically the point, love.” Your hips jerk up towards him, his abs peeking through as he leans towards you. “Now, do you understand?”

You nod your head as he lowers his, pressing his lips to yours. His perfect heart shaped lips capture yours, his tongue pressing into your mouth with fervor. Your hands come up to wrap around his waist, his skin soft and smooth beneath your hands. You feel his muscles tense under your touch as he ruts his hips, dragging himself against you, the sound of the latex audible as you try to angle yourself so he’ll slip inside you.

“So impatient…” he chides, sucking his teeth as he hovers his lips just above yours. He decides to take mercy on you, letting himself start to slide inside with ease. You cup his cheek, kissing him tenderly, a silent thank you. You feel the heat building in your abdomen again, half the battle won after the way he edged you previously.

“Does that feel good, sweet thing?” he asks, pushing in to the hilt before slowly pulling out again. “You gonna settle down now that you’re feeling nice and full?” he asks, and you respond with a shake of your head. “No?” he questions, surprised. He fucks into you slowly, deeply. You feel every inch of him that you’ve missed… but it’s not the same.

“No…I wanted you to take it off…” you whine. He shakes his head, a little chuckle leaving him.

“You’re in no place to make demands. I’m gonna get mine, toss it in the trash, and leave you wishing it was dripping down your thigh. And if you’re smart, you’ll say thank you.”

You feel yourself clench around him at his cruel words, making him smirk. So he carries on, picking up his pace as he grips into the softness of your thighs.

“But you’re not, are you?” he taunts, lowering his head to kiss and suck at your collarbone. “Can’t be if you pretended to be interested in my idiot brother. You’re mine. What do I have to do to get it to stick in that little brain of yours?”

You whisper his name, closing your eyes as your cheeks turn pink, his insults both embarrassing you and bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

“I told you I’m getting mine first. Don’t make me tell you again,” he warns, his palm landing on the pillow next to your head as he rests his weight and increases his range of motion. As he moves faster, his thrusts become more brutal as he starts to knock the wind out of you. It’s getting harder to keep yourself from losing it, your thighs starting to quiver.

He feels it, because he always does, but you can tell by the look on his face he doesn’t want to stop. He curses breathlessly and pulls out, his hand leaving your hip and moving down to stroke himself, but he lets out a grunt and pushes up to sit on his heels, looking down at himself.

“...Fuck.”

He wraps his arm under your thigh and tugs you closer, urgently, and sheathes himself inside so quickly you cry out.

“Oh, baby. You feel like fucking velvet.” he moans, his head falling back, his moans bouncing off the ceiling. When he pulls back, something feels… different. “Looks like you got what you wanted after all…”

He sits back again and pulls out of you, resting his hands on his thighs as he takes a deep breath like he needs to get himself under control. Sitting up on your elbows, you look down at him between your thighs to see the condom has not just broken, but torn. It’s more than halfway down his shaft, which explains why he felt so slick and warm inside you.

“Oh…” you say softly, your lips parting. You stare at him above you, his chest rising and falling, his eyes heavy as they lock onto yours. He lifts one hand, motioning you forward with two fingers, and you know exactly what he wants.

“On your knees.”

You don’t hesitate to roll onto your side and stand from the bed, dropping to your knees with your hands in your lap. He watches as you go, waiting until you’re in position to stand himself and approach, raking his hand through your hair almost affectionately. You keep your eyes on him, the way he’s hard and straining against the useless condom.

“Does being on your knees hurt, little slut? Or is that right where you belong?” he asks, resting the tip of his cock against your lips. “Open.”

You stick out your tongue, dragging it against the bottom of his tip.

“More.” he demands, pushing his hips forward. You open your mouth wider as you move to reach up and touch him, but he immediately tells you, “No.”

Your eyes look up at him, brows furrowing in curiosity as you question silently whether or not he’s going to take the condom off.

It’s sudden and shocking when he answers your question, grabbing the back of your head and shoving himself in deep. You feel him against your tongue, tasting the lube and feeling the latex on the front end of your tongue.

He starts to thrust so quickly, you reach for his thighs to try and push him back. He doesn’t seem to care, almost relishing in your struggle, his fist tightening in your hair. As a gag works its way up your throat, he pulls you off of him, gasping for air, saliva dripping down your chin and neck.

“How’s it taste, baby?” he asks, tugging your hair, making you look up at him through bleary eyes, trying to catch your breath. As you open your mouth to answer, he fists himself, shoving himself back into your mouth. You gag immediately and he pulls out, your mouth open as you try to breathe. He doesn’t let you, though, grabbing your jaw and spitting directly into your open mouth.

“You better think twice before you complain.”

You snap your jaw shut, swallowing thickly, your eyes popping back open to look up at him in shock. He gives you a crooked smile, pleased with the way he’s managed to throw you off. It only encourages him as you look up at him with wide eyes and try to catch your breath. He quirks a single brow, then runs his tongue over his teeth.

“Nothing to say?” he asks, challenging you. You shake your head once.

He pushes the head of himself back inside your mouth, then spits again, making you flinch as it lands on your cheek. You squeeze your eyes closed, intending to hollow out your cheeks and suck, but he pulls himself out with a pop and drags his cock through the spit on your face, chuckling.

“You’re starting to smarten up.” he mumbles. “Little brat.”

He taps the tip of his cock harshly against your lips and you can see the wheels spinning in his head as he plans his next move. “Back on the bed, all fours.” he says, snapping his fingers and pointing to the center of the bed.

You immediately pull yourself from your aching knees and scramble onto the bed, positioning yourself on all fours, just as instructed. You feel the bed dip behind you and you turn your head, seeing the remnants of the condom still intact around him. He makes no effort to remove it, wearing it like a trophy as his hands find your hips. His left hand slides up the curve of your back before pressing a palm to your spine, a silent order to arch a little further.

“You’re trembling. You want it so bad don’t you…” he growls, his tip brushing against your entrance. “Want to feel my nice warm cock inside you…Nothing but me and you…You’d like that wouldn’t you, baby…”

“Yes.” you breathe, almost a whisper.

“I shouldn’t…I should put a new one on right now.” he says, the clench of his jaw audible.

He thrusts himself inside of you, the barrier of latex gone between the two of you, letting you feel every ripple and vein of his perfect cock inside of you. It nearly takes your breath away as his hips slam into you. A groan leaves his chest as his hands grip into your hips, and you can feel his hot breath on your back.

His hips crash violently into yours, his pillow soft tip grazing your cervix with every stroke. He’s struggling to keep his composure, it's evident with his erratic breathing and the stuttering of his hips.

You clench around him, a whimper falling from his lips in response, briefly breaking the facade he’s chosen for the evening. “Fuck, Y/N… I– I fucking hate you. You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?”

A pang shoots through your chest, you feel the tension in your stomach start to build as you flutter around him. “I hate that I can’t live without you. I hate how much I love you. You–I can’t deny you anything…Not ever…” he pauses, his chest heaving. “Can’t you see that?”

“Josh…” you beg through panting breaths.

“Not yet, you’re gonna wait. Wait until I say, yeah? Can you wait like my good girl?” he says, struggling to stave off his own release.

“I– I can’t…” you whine.

“You will.” he demands, punctuating his sentence with his hips. “Fuck, you feel so good, swear to god I’m gonna– fuck…”

“Josh please, please!” you beg, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“My little slut begging to cum, oh you’re a fucking vision… My angel…” he pauses, sliding his hand around your waist and pinching your nipple between his fingers. You tighten around him and you hear him hiss in response. “Oh goddamn, you’re not a fucking angel though, are you… You’re straight from hell.”

His hips start to falter, and you can tell he’s close. You turn your head to look at him, his hair wild and sweaty against his temples, his jaw hanging slack as he watches himself fuck you. His eyes flick up to meet yours, they are dark and his pupils are wide as a slight smile turns his lips.

“I know I said I was going to get mine first, but you’ve been such a good girl for me. Go on, cum baby. Cum right on my cock, wanna feel you give yourself to me.” he says, nodding his head.

His permission throws you right up into the sky, your release washing over you so forcefully that your arms give out below you, sending you tumbling into the sheets. His hands hold you up as he continues to fuck you through it, curses and praise falling from his swollen pink lips.

As if your bliss fueled his own, you feel him pull your hips back firmly against him, a groan exploding from his chest once he can’t hold on any longer. You feel his cock twitching, his release beginning to spill inside of you as your name falls from his lips. You clench around him and he rapidly pulls out of you, fisting his cock as his cum continues to spill, painting hot white streams across your back.

The room is quiet, just the sounds of the two of you attempting to catch your breath. His hand slides up over the curve of your ass, his fingertips catching a drip of his cum before it falls to the sheets below you. His hand reaches around smearing his fingers across your lips, and you can hear him snickering as he leaves his release behind. “A much better shade on you, darling.”

With a smack of your ass you feel him step off of the bed, padding towards the bathroom. “Stay there, don’t move. I don’t want a mess on the sheets.”

You stay put, frozen as you lean down on your elbows and rest your chin in your palm. He comes back out of the bathroom a moment later in his robe and saunters to the stairs. You hear his footsteps slowly descending the steps, the occasional squeak indicating how far away he is.

You figure he’s heading to get you a towel from the dryer, so you just sigh and bide your time, feeling the wetness on your back start to get a little cold as the air moves through the room. In the silence, you hear a cabinet opening… then a cup being placed on the counter. Your lips part in shock as you realize he’s downstairs making a drink while he leaves you here, messy and exposed. The cherry on top of the punishment he’s dealt you this evening.

It’s a good, long while before he comes back up the stairs, again, at a leisurely pace. He softly pads across the room, then steps into your line of sight, putting a mug down on the nightstand. He made himself a cup of tea?

You sigh, looking at him flatly, a little tired of the game at this point. He steps into the bathroom again, this time reemerging with a warm, wet towel. He approaches the bed and kneels over you, gently wiping you clean as silence settles over you both.

“I made you some tea. In case I was a little rough on your throat.” he says quietly. “I figured I owe you a drink after throwing yours into the bushes.” His tone conveys that he’s remorseful, his voice back to its unique, charming timbre. “Listen, I didn’t mean to get so… worked up. You were right when you said I was threatened by Sam, and I just kind of lost control.”

You hum softly, resting your head on the pillow and looking at him over your shoulder, your eyes soft and tired.

“I’m sorry I pushed you that far…” you say quietly, your voice hoarse. He tosses the towel towards the hamper, standing from the bed. He leans down and places a kiss to your temple as you lay all the way down, just as your back starts to hurt.

You hear him opening your dresser drawer and soon enough he’s back at your side, placing a set of silky, cream colored pajamas and a pair of underwear near your head. He kneels at your bedside, resting his head on the bed to look at you where you lay.

“I picked these out for you when we were in Glasgow. There was this little boutique near the hotel that caught my eye. It was after dinner one night and I tried to call you but the time difference was making a mess of things…I couldn’t get ahold of you and I was just feeling lonely… so I took a walk and decided to pop in. I saw them and thought of you immediately. Thought of how they’d feel when I got back home and in bed with you.” he confesses, petting your hair the whole time he speaks. There’s almost a sadness to this story that makes guilt bubble up in your chest. You accused him of never calling, rarely thinking of you, and sending his assistant off to buy you meaningless gifts. The thought of him hand picking it for you while he was feeling lonely thousands of miles away breaks your heart.

“I’m sorry I said all that stuff. About the gifts. That was admittedly pretty awful of me.” you squeak out, feeling ashamed of the way you acted and who you painted him to be. “I’ve been really hard on you.”

“Hard on me?” he asks, a breathy laugh rumbling through him.

“I just… I haven’t been really considerate about your ear and the stress you’re under and I think I’ve been feeling neglected in a way, so instead of trying to fix it, it was just easier to put all of the blame on you and lose sight of the sacrifices you make for me every day. For us.”

He shakes his head, unwilling to let you accept all the blame. “I haven’t exactly made things easy on you…” he says, his voice a little small. “I think–no, I know I can do more. I will do more. I fucked up yesterday baby, and I’m sorry. I should have planned something nice. You deserve that. And I’m sorry about tonight, fuck, I’m just sorry for all of it. I love you and I need you and I’m just really, really sorry.”

He stands from his place on the side of the bed, watching you as you slide into your silky pajamas. He tosses his robe to your vanity chair and joins you on the other side of the bed, pulling back the linen sheets and sliding in next to you.

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I was a brat, and I’m sorry I used Sam to get under your skin. I just– I wanted your attention…and I know it was stupid and immature… I just needed to know you still cared, even just a little bit. I wanted to see it.” you pause, looking into his dark brown eyes.

“And last night, you just wanted a night in and I was…less than agreeable. I wish we could do it over. You just wanted your comfort food and your favorite movie, home alone with me…but I couldn’t see that. I know you’re hurting. I know you’re doing your best and I’m sorry I was ungrateful. I’m happy that you were even home. I’m happy I can take care of you while you’re here.” you say, moving closer to him in the middle of the bed. “I missed you last night…”

He props himself up on his elbow, his cheeks still a little pink from earlier, and in the dim light of the lamp he is glowing. “I missed you too baby, I knew I fucked up before I even got out of the room. I should have never said that to you. Not ever. Can you forgive me?” he asks, letting his free hand slide across the sheets and grab yours.

“Can you forgive me?” you ask, letting your glassy eyes meet his.

“Baby…” the word is a breath from his lips. You reach for him as he wraps his arms around you. You cradle his head in the crook of your neck as he breathes you in and you know all is forgiven between the two of you. You scratch his scalp and pet his velvety shaved sides, holding him close enough that you can feel his heart beating.

“Can I make you that soup you like tomorrow? With the kale and the carrots…” you ask, a whisper against his temple. You feel him nod, a small hum leaving his chest.

“And I still have that sourdough starter that Jake gave us… I can make some bread with it? Does that sound good?” you ask, feeling his grip on you tighten.

“Oh my god, that starter. Have you been feeding it like he said!? I completely forgot!” he gasps.

You laugh hard enough that it shakes your chest, “Of course I have. He would be so sad if I let it die.”

You feel his body relax against you again, “Do you know how much I love you?” he asks, turning his head to face you.

You feel your skin blush as he looks at you, his eyes full of adoration. “A lot?”

“More than that.” he smiles, his cheek dimple peeking out just a touch. You can hardly stop yourself from pressing your lips to it, your favorite thing.

“I love you, alot.” you reply, peppering his face with kisses.

“But there is something that I want to talk to you about…” he says, his voice growing a little more serious.

“W-what?” you ask nervously, pulling away just a little.

“I know you’ve been so excited about coming to Spain in a few weeks…And I’ve really been looking forward to it too…” he starts, and you feel your heart drop. Is it canceled? Does he not want you to come?

“Yeah…” you breathe, anxious to hear what he’s about to say.

“So, you know it’s been a long time since we’ve toured over there, and our normal coordinator isn’t able to make it, so we are using a secondary coordinator…It really throws a wrench into everything. Things are going to be really shaky those first few days with the jet lag and all of that. I just– I know that it’s gonna be super crazy, and I feel like we probably won’t be able to spend much time together while we get the tour stuff sorted out.” he pauses, and you feel your eyes well with tears. “I just don’t want you to come and feel ignored...”

“So I’m not–”

His face softens as he brings his hand up to cup your cheek, “So, I went ahead and booked us flights to go a whole week early, just me and you. Found us a quiet little place on the water right outside of Barcelona. It has a big open porch and a giant bed. It’s so beautiful and I know you’re going to love it. We can do whatever you want, just you and I.” He kisses your forehead before he continues.

“And before you ask, yes, your boss already knows. I wanted to surprise you when we left, but I figured you would be suspicious that the rest of the guys wouldn’t be with us in the airport. I was planning to tell you tonight when we got home, but we saw what happened…” he smiles, his eyes positively sparkling. “So, how does that sound, my love? Will you come with me?”

Tears rush to your eyes. You were so prepared to be disappointed again that they were already on their way and this sealed the deal.

“That sounds so perfect,” you manage to squeak out as he wipes away an errant tear sliding down towards your pillow. When he pulls you in for a tender kiss, you can feel him smiling against your lips. “My coworkers are going to kill me for going on a two week vacation during tax season…”

“I’m sure they’ll be okay.” he says, brushing it off with a soft laugh. “They probably ate your strawberries yesterday, so you can call it even.” You suck your teeth at that, lips parting in shock.

“They better not have! I’m out for one day and the wolves descend?”

“I’m sure they’ll be there waiting for you Monday.” He soothes, pulling the sheets and comforter up higher over the both of you, pulling you in close as his little spoon. “But just in case… Maybe we can get some melting chocolate at the store tomorrow and make our own for dessert?” he mumbles softly.

“Oh, I’d love that…” you say, pleasantly surprised at his effort already. He holds you tight, nuzzling into your hair. His hands are soft and warm as they sneak up under the silky pajamas, a comforting touch after so many nights spent in this bed alone.

“It’s a date, my love.”

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amhrosina · 1 year

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Feelings are Fatal (Javier Peña x f!Reader)

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A/N: omg whatttttt amhrosina writing a fic about someone not in a marvel show/movie???? whatttt???? the people who know me in person (& one of my fav mutuals) knew this was coming. what can I say? it’s pedro fucking pascal and i've been in love with him since GOT lol enjoy this angst fest!

request: rosi i noticed that you added pedro pascal to your writing list so im requesting a fic with javi comforting dea reader after a family member/friend dies. soft javi, maybe reader is drinking and theres an established but secret relationship. feel free not to write it if you dont like it but i saw your authors note about pedro and figured i would ask

Summary: Javi comforts reader after she gets terrible news and is forced to confront the depth of his feelings for her. Steve confronts Javi about his secret relationship.

(Warnings: angst, mentions of death, grief, minor injuries, alcohol, Javi is a grump but is a soft!boy w reader, cursing, lots of cigarettes lol, feelings are hard for javi)

The second you heard the receiver click on the other end of the line, the bulky phone slipped from your hand and tumbled to the floor. The booming crack of the plastic smacking the tile, followed by the trinkle of the pieces cascading across the floor, were the only sounds you could hear in the bullpen. You tried to find something to focus on, eyes glazing over as your heartbeat pounded in your ears. You scanned the area around you, skipping over Murphy’s concerned gaze and landing on Javi’s empty chair.

Mierda. (Shit.) He was still chasing a lead in Cali, and he wasn’t supposed to be home until early tomorrow morning. It’s not like he would be able to do anything for you right now anyways, considering you were surrounded by people who would out your relationship in half a second if it meant their career might be boosted because of it, but his reassuring presence was something you sorely needed at the moment.

Your chest tightened as you processed what your dad had just murmured through the phone. You had been sitting when you answered the phone, but at some point, you must’ve stood, because you were currently white knuckling the back of your chair.

Murphy rolled his chair into your eyeline, waving his hands in the air. Everything around you sounded muffled, almost like you were under water, and you couldn’t focus on anything for longer than a few seconds. You ran through the tricks you knew off the top of your head to stave off a panic attack. You tried to take a deep breath, you counted the tiles on the floor, hell, you even tried to find five things you could see, but the rapidly rising pace of your heartbeat, and the shallow breaths you could barely manage told you your panic attack was in full swing already.

A gentle presence on your wrist sent a shock through you so prevalent that you snapped to attention and the world suddenly got very loud. Murphy was standing in front of you with wide eyes, murmuring your name, while the lucky few agents that happened to be in the bullpen when your phone rang stood a few feet back, observing you with keen interest. You weren’t stupid enough to believe they cared about your wellbeing. Nosy fuckers.

Your hands clenched into fists, shaking slightly. The indent of your nails pressing into your palm was a steady ache, one that you absolutely needed if you were going to walk out of the office without incident. And you knew that was where you needed to go. Away from here, away from the DEA’s bullshit bureaucracy, away from Pablo Escobar and his sicarios. You stumbled away from Murphy, turning on your heels when you reached the lip of the bottom stair. You would explain everything to everyone later, when you could think again. ‘If you still have a job later, pendeja (asshole/idiot),’ you thought miserably.

You barely remember jumping into your front seat, nor starting the car, nor pulling out of the police headquarters lot. You had a vague awareness that you arrived home when you unlocked your front door, but you were stuck in autopilot, and couldn’t bear to think about why you were stuck in autopilot.

You eyed the bottle of liquor Javi had left in your kitchen the last time he was here and sighed. Yes, you thought, that’s perfect.

Javi was driving like a maniac, and he didn’t give two shits about it. When Steve had called earlier, he hadn’t been able to give any details about their partner’s bizarre behavior, other than her hasty departure from DEA headquarters after a strange phone call. Steve was puzzled, but otherwise not too concerned about her. Javi, on the other hand, had carefully untangled himself from his business in Cali and hopped on the next available and inconspicuous flight home he could manage.

He could feel in his gut that something was wrong, and he couldn’t leave his girl hanging, job or no job. He wasn’t any closer to capturing Escobar anyways and had already determined that his trip to Cali was a colossal waste of time and resources before Steve had called him.

He’d been pulled away from DEA headquarters for long enough, and this was the perfect excuse for him to high tail it out of Cali and come home. He was tired, and he missed his conejita (bunny – term of endearment), and even though he’d never admit it, he missed Murphy’s early morning grumblings too.

He peeled into the nearest parking spot he could find to the apartment building and hurdled himself out of the driver’s seat. When he entered the building, he eyed the door at the top of the stairs. Dark – either Murphy was still at the office, asleep, or sitting in his apartment in complete darkness. His apartment was also dark, but a soft glow emitted from under his conejita’s door, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

He considered using the key she had given him for emergencies. Did this count as an emergency? He sure thought so, but he didn’t want to startle her, so he knocked on the door with anxious trepidation. He waited, straining to listen through the door for any sign of life inside the apartment. There was nothing, and then there was the loud crash of something glass hitting the floor, and Javi was through the door before she could let out a yelp.

She was on her hands and knees, hunched on the floor by her couch. Broken glass was all over the floor around her, though Javi couldn’t tell what she’d broken. He was more concerned for her palms and kneecaps, all of which were being pushed into the broken glass shards with little resistance on her end. He rushed to her side, lifting her off of the glass and into his arms.

“Javi?” She slurred, raising her chin in a defiant gesture.

“Cariño (honey), what happened?” He noted the way she slurred her words and the fact that her cheeks were tinted pink. “Have you been drinking?”

“Have you been drinking, Agent Grumpy?” She pouted, trying to mimic the way Javi’s lips would poke out when he was upset about something.

Clearly, she’d been drinking, but Javi couldn’t figure out what might’ve spurred this behavior. Out of him, Murphy, and her, she was the most levelheaded of the trio, and the least likely to drown her sorrows in a bottle of liquor. Dread coiled in his gut. Something awful must’ve gone down while he was gone, and he couldn’t help but feel like the idiot that couldn’t keep up.

“Baby,” he murmured, carefully navigating through the millions of tiny glass shards all over her living room floor, “¿Que paso (what happened)?”

“I dropped the bottle.” She breathed, clutching onto his shirt with her bloody hands. He didn’t care. He’d use a hundred of his shirts to stop her bleeding. He carefully set her down in a kitchen chair, untangling his limbs from hers. She seemed more alert now, more awake than when he’d busted through the door moments before. The cuts on her hands and knees were probably to blame for that, but Javi couldn’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. First, he had to find a first aid kit.

Every agent was trained in basic first aid, and if they felt like being kiss-asses, they could take classes to get certified in trauma response. Javi hadn’t felt like being a kiss-ass, but he knew he way around a first aid kit. As he poked around her kitchen and bathroom cabinets, he stuck his head in the hallway every few seconds, checking on her. She was waiting patiently at the kitchen table where he’d left her, but she’d adopted a look that could only be described as “far away”, and his concern was growing by the minute.

Javi couldn’t figure it out. When they’d talked on the phone this morning, she was fine, chipper even. She was excited that he’d be home soon, and he had promised that he’d make up for the nights they’d lost while he was working in Cali. When her voice had dropped to a whisper, and she revealed that Murphy had just walked into the bullpen thirty minutes early, his breath had hitched in his throat as he almost let the words “I love you” slip from between his lips.

Javi wasn’t inexperienced with women, but he was sure that she was the only woman in the world that could get him that tongue tied. When the receiver clicked, indicating that she'd hung up, Javi had spent entirely too long staring at the phone in his hands, listening to the dial tone drone on and on as he searched his brain for wherever the hell that had come from.

But that couldn’t be what was bothering her. Steve had mentioned a phone call, but she’d hung up the phone with him before 8am, and she didn’t start acting weird until almost ten hours later. There had to be someone, something bothering her, and Javi’s chest ached with rage about it. The only person allowed to bother her was him, and he took that job very seriously.

“Bebé (Baby),” he sighed, propping the medical kit open on the kitchen table, “Will you tell me what’s going on?”

She swallowed thickly, sighing as he pulled up a chair in front of her. He gently lifted her hands to the light so he could see the cuts. They were shallow, but hands always bled a lot, so both of her palms were stained a deep crimson. She watched him as he began to remove pieces of glass from the cuts, and he waited patiently for her to explain herself. He’d wait for as long as she needed him to.

The stinging sensation hadn’t left your trembling hands, but you wanted to be tough in front of Javi, so you watched quietly as he wrapped your hands in thick gauze. He’d lit a cigarette two minutes ago, puffing smoke in the air at regular intervals as he worked. When he finally moved on to your knees, which had stopped bleeding ten minutes ago, you tried to figure out exactly what to say to him.

It wasn’t every day that your significant other’s mom suddenly and inexplicably dies during an evening nap, leaving everyone, especially your significant other, baffled and choked by her loss. His mom had quietly passed away earlier the year before, and he was only gone for two days before returning to Colombia. He hadn’t broached the topic since then, and you weren’t as comfortable with him then as you were now. You could confidently say that you had no idea how this was going to go.

You took a breath, and before you could talk yourself out of it, mumbled the same words your dad had spoken hours before, causing your world to crumble around you.

“Mi mamá está muerta. (My mom is dead.)”

Javi sucked in a breath, lifting his gaze towards yours with a pitiful expression. Tears welled in your eyes, and for the first time since you’d heard the horrible news, you allowed yourself to cry. Javi dropped the gauze on the table and wrapped his muscular arms around your neck, pulling you into his chest.

“Oh, Cariño,” he cooed, kissing your hair as you sobbed into his shirt, “Lo siento, bebé. (I’m sorry, baby.)”

His shirt was sure to be irreparably stained now that your blood and tears were soaked into it, but he didn’t seem to mind. He stroked your back, kissed your head, and held you close while you cried and cried into his chest. He’d never seen you so vulnerable before, and a rush of fear shot through you at the thought of him scaring away because of that, but every time you tried to push away from him, he’d tighten his hold on you and urge you to let it out.

When you finally got a handle on your sobs, Javi pulled back, searching your expression for any further breakage. He’d weather it, this awful storm, for as long as you needed him to. You knew that, and even still, when he began to put the pieces of you back together again, your heart melted at the thought of him.

Javier Peña was not the guy that women came crying to in the middle of the night. He was the guy you picked up for the one-night stand, the one you’d talk about for years afterwards, the one you’d think about as ‘the one that got away’ until you were too old to remember his name and where he came from. That was Javier Peña, and yet, he was in your kitchen, cleaning up your wounds, healing the part of you that was inexplicably broken. If only Murphy could see you guys now.

“Cuando es el funeral? (When is the funeral?)” He asked, blotting at the scabs on your knees.

“Next weekend.” You murmured, wincing as he taped gauze over a particularly deep cut.

“When mi mamá died,” he started, and you stopped breathing, unwilling to be the one to fuck this conversation up before it even started, “I didn’t let myself mourn the way I should have. I tried to sweep it under the rug, ‘ya know?”

You nodded, remembering the weeks after his return from Texas. He had thrown himself into his work, which made yours and Murphy’s lives a little easier for a while, though neither of you preferred it that way.

“Let yourself mourn, Cariño. It’s my biggest regret.”

“Okay.” You nodded, though you weren’t sure exactly what he meant by that. You spoke before you could stop yourself. “You can still mourn her. There’s not a time limit on grief.”

It sort of felt like the air was sucked out of the room. You’d never said something so bold to Javi, especially not about his personal life. You were five seconds away from blaming your brashness on the alcohol you’d consumed, even though you’d sobered up fairly quickly once he’d arrived, when he nodded.

“That’s true, Cariño.”

You blinked. You must really look like shit if Javi wasn’t actively building walls around himself. Sure, he’d opened up a little throughout the relationship, but he was still working on being vulnerable with you, and he had a lot of work left to do. You knew he was plagued by nightmares – you were too, and who, working this job, wouldn’t be? – but he wouldn’t talk about them with anyone. Instead, he’d pull you closer, kiss you harder, and make you forget why he’d woken in the first place. It was a coping mechanism that both of you recognized as ‘not actually coping’ but neither of you had the resources or the energy to work through that trauma. At least, not yet.

He lit another cigarette, and you watched him breathe in the smoke deeply. He lifted it toward you, and you eagerly parted your lips, taking a much needed drag. Before Colombia, before Javi, you hadn’t touched a cigarette in your life. After being assigned to team Murphy-Peña, you felt like you had a perpetual cloud of smoke hovering over you at all times.

Javi brushed his hands together and threw the remaining unused gauze back in the first aid kit. He gently pulled you from your seat, and the slight movement sent a sting through your legs. You were already regretting the alcohol and your hangover hadn’t even started yet.

“Let’s sleep at my place tonight, Cariño. We’ll clean this up tomorrow.”

You nodded, teary eyed again. You didn’t want to think about tomorrow, or next week, or any time in the future that didn’t include your mom. If Javi noticed your tears, he didn’t say anything about them, and you were grateful for his wherewithal. He always knew exactly how to handle you, and that was part of the reason you’d fallen in love with him.

Love. You blanched. Nope. Not thinking about that right now.

You shrugged the thought away as Javi lifted you bridal style in his arms. Javier Peña didn’t fall in love, and you certainly weren’t going to be the woman to challenge that.

Bonus Scene: Steve confronting Javi about his secret relationship with you.

“Are you fucking stupid? You’ve got to be, to pull this bullshit.”

Javi watched Steve pace across his living room. Again. He’d been walking a hole in the rug for half an hour, and Javi wasn’t sure Steve would be stopping his rant anytime soon.

Technically, Javi deserved this. Everything Steve was saying was true. He was jeopardizing not only his career, but hers too. The integrity of the investigation against Escobar would be questioned if word got out that two of the three agents assigned to his case were fucking each other. Not to mention how quickly procedure would be thrown out the window if either of them were in danger. There’s a reason why those rules existed.

But like most things, it wasn’t that simple. Javi hadn’t been able to offer an excuse for when Steve caught him carrying her into his apartment, taped to high hell with gauze and tipsy as all get out. He’d simply shrugged, unlocked the door, and carried her through the frame without a second glance.

Now, Steve wasn’t stupid, but he chalked up that incident to her being overwhelmed with grief. What friend wouldn’t offer their couch up to their drunk, mourning partner when she needed it? What he didn’t know was how often she slept at Javi’s already. She even had a toothbrush in his bathroom and a stack of books piled on one of the nightstands in his bedroom.

Steve’s suspicions might’ve grown a little the weekend that she went home to Oceanside for her mother’s funeral. Weekends meant little to the DEA agents working Escobar’s case – every day was another day they could possibly learn information that may or may not give them someone who might know something about Escobar, or not – but Javi was especially fidgety the two days she was off on leave.

Steve finally demanded to know what the hell was bothering Javi when he caught him staring at her empty seat for the third time in an hour. Javi brushed it off, claiming he hadn’t been sleeping well, but Steve wasn’t so easily persuaded to look the other way again.

The final straw, the one that prompted the yelling and the insults and the pacing, made Javi’s relationship with her so obvious that there wasn’t a chance in hell he could talk his way out of it. Steve, being the hero best buddy that he was, had heard an alarming thump from Javi’s apartment, and taken it upon himself to investigate. What he hadn’t been expecting to find was his two partners, tangled in each other’s limbs, going at it on the kitchen counter like rabbits.

Hence, the yelling.

“I mean, seriously Javi? You could fuck any woman in the world, and you chose the one woman that’s off limits!”

“Listen, man. I-”

Javi tried again to interrupt Steve’s rant, to explain himself and what he felt for her. Steve was missing the bigger picture. Javi wasn’t just fucking her, he loved her. He couldn’t figure out if that would make Steve more or less angry about it.

“You what, man? You what?!” Steve threw his hands in the air, beckoning an excuse that might help him understand why his partners would be such idiots.

Javi struggled to translate his feelings into words. He hadn’t even told her yet exactly how he felt and saying it now felt weirdly similar to a trial run. He searched his head for the right words to describe what she was to him.

“I’ve been sleeping.” Javi rested his hands on his hips and sighed, eyes flickering across the ceiling as he realized how incredibly stupid that sounded outside of his brain. “I know I love her, because I can sleep after I’ve talked to her.”

Steve studied Javi, searching for any signs of deception. He narrowed his eyes when he couldn’t find any.

“What do you mean you ‘love’ her?”

“I mean, I fucking love her, man. I don’t know what you want me to say.” Javi was growing restless, tugging at the neckline of his button-down shirt. Conversations like these always made him antsy, and he could feel the temperature in his cheeks rising.

“You.” Steve cocked a grin, “Javier Peña. In love? I’m not buying it man.”

“Well, I’m not going to try and convince you.” It was Javi’s turn to throw his hands in the air in distress. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.

“You actually care about her?” Steve’s expression morphed from disbelief to genuine shock. Javi wished he could take a picture to savor the moment.

“Are you going to say anything to anyone?”

Javi would normally never be so obvious about his fears, but he was thinking about her, back in her apartment, probably walking a hole into her rug as she waited for Steve and Javi to hash their shit out. The look on her face when Steve started yelling was enough to make Javi panic, and he was not above begging if it meant keeping her out of trouble.

“Nah, man.” Steve shook his head, plopping down on Javi’s couch. Javi sagged with relief. “Just don’t make it so obvious. I was suspicious before I walked in on you two.”

“Yeah, man.” Javi took another drag of his cigarette.

“Have you told her?”

“Told her what?” Javi couldn’t keep the bite from his tone.

“That you love her.”

Javi envied the ease that Steve managed when he talked about love. Before she’d been transferred to Colombia, Javi had never, in his life, been able to understand why anyone would choose to fall in love. He recognized the signs of it from the years of watching his parents interact, but he’d never experienced it before. When Steve talked about Connie, whether it was a complaint or not, there was always an underlying tone of love in his words. When she showed up, everything Javi had ever thought about love was scrambled, and it terrified him.

“No.” He blew out a slow trail of smoke.

Steve nodded slowly in understanding. If anyone in the world could comprehend Javi’s mindset right now, it was the guy he’d spent hours and hours with every day for years.

“Maybe you should.”

“Yeah, maybe I should.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Thank you for reading!

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darlingshane · 11 months

Text

Afternoon Delight

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x F!Reader

Summary: You and Michael are just two good friends with a lot of chemistry that have sex on occasion, and today is one of those days he shows up at your apartment to benefit from that mutual agreement.

Content/Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Smut, Oral Sex (f. receiving), Friends with Benefits, Fluff, Crack, Pet Names.

Word Count: 1,4k

— You can read below or at AO3.

“Your boyfriend is here!” your roommate announces, knocking on the bathroom door as you step out of the shower.

“Boyfriend?” with a scoff, you wrap a towel around your soaked body before opening the door to see who she's referring to.

Poking your head out the hallway, you find Michael standing in the middle of the living room.

It strikes you as odd to see him this early and that your roommate called him your boyfriend, cause you and Michael are not currently dating, or ever will be, — but who knows, stranger things have happened. Right now, your relationship boils down simply to two good friends that have sex on occasion, with no bullshit or feelings in the mix. By keeping this uncomplicated, you avoid the upheaval of pain and regret you've felt in the past with other guys you've dated. This situation has been a good solution to ditch all those problems.

However, Michael's been coming and going so often that some people might view that as dating. It’s true, you two are really cute together, and have explosive chemistry that could blow up the roof. You would be lying if you said that you hadn’t thought about asking for more a couple of times, but for now this is all you need.

You and your roommate are not exactly best friends, or have known each other for long. So, you’ve never considered it important to explain the nature of the mutually beneficial relationship you have with Michael, and you’re not going to start today.

“Hi, welcome back!” his smile beams from across the room.

“Hey, what are you doing here so early?” you beckon him, and he follows you into your room.

“I thought you said to come pick you up at 3.”

“I didn't. I'm pretty sure I said 8. When have we ever hung out at 3? Nobody ever ha–” you’re cut off when Michael fishes his phone out of his pocket and shows your message on screen up to you to realize that you indeed typed 3 instead of 8. “Oh… I was jet-lagged when I wrote that. My bad, but I'm glad you're here anyway.”

“Yeah? You've missed me?” He tucks his phone back into his pocket.

“I haven't missed you missed you. But I've missed this face,” you hold his chin tightly in your fingers, leaning in to smooch his cheek.

Unable to fight a smile, his lips curve up beautifully as you let go of his face.

“How was your trip, sweetheart?” Michael takes a seat at the foot of your messy bed while you move to search through your opened, unpacked suitcase.

“Long. I hate flying. Here, I got this for you,” you toss a light-weighted, wrapped present at him.

“A gift for me?” He catches it in the air, tears the paper to find a novelty apron that has printed – kiss the cook – on the fabric with an arrow pointing down. “This is probably the worst gift I’ve ever gotten.”

“You’re welcome,” you say with a mocking shrug.

“C’mere, baby, I have a gift for you too.”

“You do? I didn’t see you bringing anything.”

“It’s right here,” his pointer finger taps on his lips twice, “you have to come get it, girl.”

Grinning, you sit on his lap sideways. As one of his arms curls around your waist to keep you secured, his opposite hand frames your jaw, guiding your face to capture your mouth. He offers three small kisses, and then he nibbles at your lower lip, sucks it lightly into his mouth and releases it, just how you always like it.

“That’s all you got?” you purr against the corner of his mouth.

“You’re always so greedy, sweetheart. You think you deserve more in exchange for that crappy apron?”

“Yeah, I fucking do. It's the thought that counts.”

“That so?” Scoffing, he presses a kiss on your neck before picking you up and settling you down on the mattress without breaking a sweat. Locking eyes with you, he hovers over your body as one of his hands untucks the corner of the towel that was keeping it in place over your breasts, and spreads the fabric to the side to uncover your body.

With a low hum, he presses another wet kiss on your lips before having his tongue trailing down your torso. He leaves a wet trail from your neck, across the valley of your breasts, over your stomach, around your navel. The tip of his tongue viciously stirs your arousal before reaching the crux between your legs.

“Hi, sweet thing, I’ve missed you so much,” he plants a few kisses all over your vulva when he reaches that spot.

“Are you talking to me or my pussy?” you prop yourself on your elbows as he stares up at you.

“Hm, both. But mostly your pussy. Is that okay?”

“Sure. She’s missed you too. Have at it,” you laugh softly and place your head back down as he buries his face between your thighs.

His eager tongue traces every fold and inch of your cunt, collecting your juices at his passing. You ball the sheets in your fists as he slowly, but surely, makes your whole body buzz with excitement in a few licks. Your nipples harden and your head spins as the plane of his tongue flattens against your folds.

“Hmm,” you pull your knees further apart, close your eyes, and slide your fingers in his hair. “Be gentle. Walls are paper thin, baby.”

“Let her hear you,” he laughs against your pussy before letting the tip of his tongue lap around your clit.

His arms curl around your thighs, as one of his hands massages your mound, the other marks its fingers at the curve of your hip.

The pressure of his tongue is absolutely delicious. It keeps teasing around your clit for a long moment before having his lips wrap around that sweet spot. Up until that point, it’s easy to keep your moans buried in your throat. When he starts sucking and licking and grunting oh so fiercely around your sensitive skin, devouring you like a wild animal that has been fasting for days, he forces those drawn groans past your lips.

Your taste, the wanton sounds that he earns out of you, and the way your body writhes is the cause for his cock to bulge out his jeans. It aches for a good fuck, and he can only press himself against the mattress to gain some friction. His tongue has great determination to make you come before shoving his dick inside you. It’s all Michael thinks about, just burying himself in your slicked walls and filling you with his cum. It fuels his unwavering passion.

Out of the blue, you get momentarily distracted when music starts blasting through the walls, and you bring your hands to cover your heated face, realizing your roommate is definitely hearing you. As embarrassing as it is, you use that as an opportunity to just let go and focus on how good it feels to have him between your legs.

After a moment, you place your hands back down, knotting your fingers back in his hair and pulling as hard as you can, unable to control yourself as he brings you closer and closer to the brink.

It doesn’t take him long to make you meet that sweet undoing that elevates you to a higher plane. He’s always had that ability. But today is special because one – you haven’t seen the other for two weeks; the longest you've gone without benefiting from the other. And two – the unexpected surprise of him showing up earlier gives you that extra edge of excitement that has your legs trembling with practice eased in this afternoon delight.

When all your muscles seize up, and you can’t stop squirming and cursing his name, he takes it up a notch until you come undone. As your mind swirls in that bubble of pure bliss, he stops altogether, but keeps his mouth close to press soft kisses against your sensitive skin while your breathing catches.

You let go of his hair and let your arms fall to the sides, watching a blurry vision of Michael crawling over your limp, tired body.

“How was that, sweetheart?”

“That was beautiful. You’re beautiful. Everything your tongue does is beautiful,” you reiterate with a dopey smile, cause you can’t come up with a different word at this moment.

Staring adorably at you, he caresses your sweaty face as you regain enough strength to lift your hand and swipe his lips with your thumb to clean your juices lingering all over his mouth. “You think you got more for me, baby?”

“For you? Always.”

#michael berzatto x reader #michael berzatto #the bear #the bear fanfiction #jon bernthal #jon bernthal fanfiction #darlingwrites #smut #fluff

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slash-me-please · 7 months

Note

HIHIHI I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM AND I SAW THAT YOUR WILLING TO WRITE FOR AMANDA YOUNG BUT IF YOU DONT FEEL LIKE IT THATS COMPLETELY OKAY ALSO!!

Can you do jealous Amanda x Fem reader? Somewhere around reader and Amanda having a complicated relationship and reader is an apprentice. Another apprentice flirts around with reader and Amanda doesn’t like it at all :$ Also some NSFW but if your not in the mood for it you don’t have to add it!

I hope you have an amazing day 😋😊

I love writing for Amanda!!!! I'm so happy to be getting more fem requests because I am a gay mf. Anyways on with the story.

-In the event that Michael Marks survived, he has became an apprentice. Michael Marks. Yknow, the key in the eyeball guy. So, let's begin.

A Deeper Understanding

Warnings: Literally nobody getting along, Jealous!Amanda, Cursing, Threatening, Fingering, Domish!Amanda, Getting Caught

John Kramer had collected quite the assortment of a team. He hoped at least one of you would continue his legacy perfectly. He'd make sure before he died that he'd live on through the lot of you. You were all currently at the workshop, bullshitting about random tests and other people you were interested in "helping". There was about four of you there, Dr. Gordon couldn't make it, like usual. Michael Marks had been your second choice, Gordon has always been your first.

His eyes traveled down your body, a look that made you feel a certain type of way, not a good way. He was your partner though, so you gave him the benefit of the doubt. "I'm glad everyone is here," John smiled a thin smile, Jill stood across from him, eyes trained on his every move. You knew that it'd been hard on her since his diagnosis. "I need your help with the scalping seat, I'm not sure it'll get done on time." He took a pause, "I've had some other things to tend to, my apologies."

He hadn't been looking at you, you weren't the mechanic of the group. John looked to you for ideas for traps. You had a knack at creating a symbolic test, one which would change the looks of the masses. Michael stepped forwards, eyes lingering on you for too long for someone who had just needed to build a trap. "I used to work as a car technician before Homeward Bound," He said, bending down and looking through the gears. "Unless Hoffman can do better." Hoffman wasn't much for Michael, he stayed silent.

"Nobody wants you to touch anything, you hardly beat your test. I don't know why John even wants you here because you're obviously not even serious about him." Amanda stood from her spot near John, she walked forwards and towered over Michael- only for Michael to size her up. "What are you even talking about?" He barked, his chest puffing. "Amanda calm down, we need to finish this trap. Brenda's test is what matters." John corrected her, his composure was always impenetrable. "No John! Have you seen this guy? He's been eye-fucking Y/N since we got here!"

Amanda's fists clenched as she yelled back at John. She seemed ready to blow a fuse, and you were thankful for it. "As far as I am concerned, He has not said anything to Y/N that has made her uncomfortable." "But-" "No, we'll deal with him later, we have to focus on the contraption now, we'll deal with him later. I need you to act level-headed if you're going to carry out my legacy." Amanda huffed, speeding past the group and into the hallway. "Amanda!" You yelled after her, jumping down from the table and following after her.

You found yourself in a grimy hallway, off to the side was an opening to what you presumed was where Amanda had went off to. You stepped forward, watching as the curtains to the archway swayed back and forth. "Amanda?" You called, and she opened the swaying curtains as you stood in front of them. "Finally got enough of Mr. Fuck-me eyes?" You shook your head. "We're not... doing anything." She nodded, stepping away to move back to a decaying workstation. You saw she had her reverse bear trap on the table, she seemed to be fixing something wrong with it.

"What are you doing to it?" You wondered, she glanced over at you for a moment. "John gave it to me to fix, fucking Hoffman took it somewhere and it broke." She gulped. "I hate this thing, but I'm about finished." Amanda was grumbling as she fixed her trap, she seemed elsewhere and you could tell that this was a coping mechanism for her. "What's wrong?"

She turned to you, and with a sigh she sneered. "I just don't understand why Michael is even here, he hardly completed his test and he's an asshole y'know?" Her voice elevated, and she turned towards you. "He's awful and I just don't understand why he can't leave you alone!" Your cheeks flushed, eyes widening as she stared right at you. "Uh-" But you cut her off, hands coming up to hold her face. It happened to turn out that she would be the one to press forward and kiss you. She only let it escalate from there when her hand moved to reach under your shirt and pull you flush against her chest.

Her nails dug into the plush of your stomach skin when she picked you up and placed you on the workbench, shoving the bear trap off to the side. Amanda placed kisses on your collarbone as you worked to pull your shirt off, and in the heat of the moment she found herself dizzy with lust. She had been dreaming about this moment since you joined the group, and she thought she might've entered her dreamworld when you finally got your shirt off. "You're fucking perfect," She mumbled, the androgynous tang of her voice flowed through your core and straight between your legs. You opened them right up.

Amanda leaned forward, tongue landing flat on your nipple and sucking at it until it pressed hard against the pad of her tongue. With her left hand, she groped you passionately, and she praised how you fit in her hand perfectly. You had leaned forward and pressed a kiss on the top of her head as she pushed your skirt up and over your ass, eager to get where she had wanted to touch most. You blessed her with it, gripping the edge of rotten wood when she hooked her long fingers inside your heat. "Shit..." She mumbled, her left hand dropping your tit to push you back by the stomach. You stumbled back against the wood with a whine, biting onto your left hand as the other gripped her wrist.

Amanda watched with an intense gaze as you moaned into your hand, she was more than interested, her left hand moving to rub circles on your clit as she fingered you. Your hips pushed against her fingers, desperate to feel more of her as she pleasured you- you knew her thoughts of Michael Marks were gone by now, her gaze enraptured by the way your cunt sucked her in. She felt herself becoming devoted as she listened to the gasps and whimpers you released of her name- you felt the same.

She began to kiss your hips as your legs shook around her fingers and your whines became more noticeable. Amanda gathered she had to be doing something right, her ego inflating as you rode her hand. "You're doing so well Y/N," She whispered, the fingers on your clit speeding up. You cried out, "I'm so close..." yelping when she pushed her fingers deeper and shushed you. You felt your insides clench and twitch, legs spreading wider as you held her wrist against your sex- whining out a flurry of "Thank yous," While you finished on her hand.

Finally, you leaned back down, huffing against your hand. You reached out to maybe grab her, and she reached to pull her shirt off. Unluckily, she didn't make it far when you heard Michael open the curtains, halfway through his sentence. "I'm sorry Amanda, I didn't- oh!" His eyes landed on you, and you yelped, flailing to cover your body as he stared.

Amanda's lip twitched in annoyance, pulling your skirt down with a little bit of attitude. You knew it wasn't directed at you though. "If you do not get the fuck out of my office, I will literally blow your brains out Michael."

And he turned around, scurrying down the hallway. Amanda turned back to you, giving you a happy kiss on the lips. "Maybe we can arrange a date this week?"

#Saw x reader #Amanda Young x reader #Amanda Young x reader smut #Saw x reader smut'#horror x reader #horror x reader smut #slasher x reader #slasher x reader smut

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kurim-chis · 9 months

Text

this post in a nutshell: the Vidyadhara cycle can get a bit fucked up. sometimes. a lot of times. all the time, if you really think about it.

Note: i also blame my philosophy teacher. he was an awesome teacher, but philosophy class always made me question my own existence…

i think Dan Heng is right in wanting absolutely nothing to do with Imbibitor Lunae’s past and very clearly states he is NOT Lunae. However despite Dan Heng’s wishes and many people empathizing with him, in my opinion, it boils down to this:

the mentality of being a Vidyadhara

A case of “shut the fuck up and don’t spout bullshit, you don’t know how it feels, experience it yourself and then you know how hard it actually is”

First Note: Vidyadhara are just built differently — physically, mentally, and psychologically

For the vidyadhara, it’s their natural life cycle to be reborn with a clean slate every 700 years, possessing no reproduction capability and being immortal as long as they underwent the reincarnation process. They see it as normal and a “matter of fact” thing, and xianzhou natives do too, but can other non-vidyadhara species truly understand this? It’s kind of like how other species see things differently and have different morals from humans.

It’s a bit of a mind-fuckery because a vidyadhara is always the same person, but they always will get a clean state, and yet depending on each incarnation they might turn out completely different.

So they’re the same, but they’re also not.

Second Note: don’t say any bullshit until you’re the one going through it, then you will realize how hard it is

Basically this. Perhaps some aren’t going into a breakdown when their vidyadhara friend just deletes them from their life (or well, the vidyadhara is deleted and born anew), and they try to accept it because they’re too old and are wise enough to accept their lot in life, but there are others who are just bamboozled by it, even though they must have thought they were prepared for it. exhibit 1) Jing Yuan

Even the vidyadhara are not excerpt from this.

There’s a vidyadhara mirage who says his vidyadhara lover just went into an egg. To the race, this is a normal cycle of life. She won’t remember him. She will be the same person born anew. She will be a different person too. She can’t be burdened with anything of her past incarnation. He knows she is not dead, but he stares at the rolling waves and feels as if she is because he cannot and as a vidyadhara he must not see her reincarnation as HER.

But his feelings won’t matter, do they? This mirage said he couldn’t wait for his turn to come, but this wouldn’t guarantee him another future with his lover because CLEAN STATE you know? After returning to his egg, being reborn anew, then all of this — his grief, his solitude, his love — won’t matter anymore because he will also stop caring about it as well. It won’t matter. They won’t matter. The only thing that matters is their new life, but at that point that is NOT going to be the life of their incarnation, is it?

This is such a contradiction, isn’t it? Perhaps in “another life” he had also thought this, had also grieved for someone else or been grieved in return, but those lifetimes don’t matter in the same way his current one won’t matter after he reaches 700 years old.

“So you’re gonna be reborn after another 157 years? That’s how your race keeps being immortal and wards off the mara disease? Just the way you were created by Permanence? Cool.”

“So you’re the SAME but also a DIFFERENT person every time you go into an egg? That’s kinda trippy, but OK.”

“What will happen after that? Will we still be friends when you wake up?”

and the next time your friend appears, they are a child and you are absolutely no one to them

(…)

(how is this immortality?)

(my friend/brother/sister/parent/mentor/student/comrade/lover has not forgotten, because this is not something as simple as forgetting, this is a clean state — in a way only the vidyadhara, transcendent and celestial, can achieve. a cruel severing of everything you had to do with them.)

(they are gone, and in their place is a child with a clean state)

(it’s as if they are dead and you’re left to deal with a legacy—)

So despite what Dan Heng says and the Vidyadhara culture, I can also see why Jing Yuan struggles and is pained by the sight of Dan Heng. And also why Xianzhou deems Dan Heng guilty.

I also can understand why Blade is so enraged at Dan Heng and refuses to back down or stop trying to kill him (Blade being insane put aside) due to his incarnation’s sins, because how UNFAIR would it for Imbibitor Lunae to get a clean state just like that? What, they’re same person? But they get to start over as a NEW person? All his sins like that, gone? What sort of bullshit is that?

Just. This whole vidyadhara reincarnation thing can get very, very fucked up, you know?

#kurim writes hsr #dan heng #imbibitor lunae #jing yuan #a vidyadhara thing?#honkai star rail #hsr vidyadhara are so pretty and I like how they’re basically hatching from an egg over and over #and despite dan heng making it clear there’s a distinction between him and dan feng #they’re also the same person #jing yuan seeing this kid who is supposed to be the same but he’s not #this is kind of fucked up #??? my brain is exploding #this is kind of a tragedy to be honest #just me scratching my head at 3 am #hsr #hsr blade #hsr spoilers #honkai star rail 1.2

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cg11555 · 1 month

Text

CURRENT FHJY THEORIES

My current conspiracy board for the season

These are my plausible theories and then I'll talk about my batshit insane theories

I think that the rat grinders HAVE lost their memories regarding Lucy's death. I'm inclined to believe that Ratbitch Dogface and MAYBE Ivy remember. I'd bet that they took the honey to lie to Aguefort and the other staff about their involvement with her death.

The mind terrorism that Fig put Ruben through caused him to vomit up a 'Bloody Viscous Substance' And I will not be surprised if Fig has made Ruben remember whatever happened to Lucy

Gertie verified that the honey made from the Devil's nectar is bloody red.

She is making the honey for some local food trucks that we know Are KLKC's

Another thing we know for a fact is that the body of Lucy Frostblade showed marks from multiple assailants including magical, non- magical, and specifically a type of bludgeoning damage that carbonized her blood into red diamonds

This leads us to believe that Lucy's murderers were her own party members. In addition to this, they also found the rage crystals in the dirt and the bodies of Lucy and Yolanda Badgood.

This clearing's destroyed trees shows indications of giant involvement as well

What we currently know leads me to believe that the Rat Grinders attempted a replication of Kristen's spring break miracle

Lucy attempted to resurrect an 'Evil' sibling of her goddess, Ruvina, The unnamed god now known as Ankarna.

This mirrors the Cassandra / Galicaea relationship as well

This attempt clearly backfired in some way I'd bet either resulting in Lucy or the others becoming something similar to the Rage Mages we saw in the battle at the Synod

I think that the Rat grinders are all at various levels of involvement in the upcoming plot involving Ankarna with KLCK being the mastermind AND I KNOW that there's some bullshit going on with the rogue teacher that FOUND KLCK ( Will be unsurprised if this unknown teacher is dead)

We currently do not know how this episode's revelations regarding the name will affect these plans in the upcoming episodes. If this is playing into the preexisting plans or completely destroying them

The way Brennan talked in the most recent AP about how he thought that them finding the name was an inevitability but a scene he thought would happen in the third act of the season makes me think that this will NOT affect the Rat Grinders plans in a majorly significant way. They still have to do something ( some kind of ritual or other ) that the Bad Kids will have stop in the final eps

After learning all about the Historical side of the shifts that Ankarna's domain saw I believe that there is a lot of evidence for a conspiracy against Cassandra and Ankarna involving Sol and Galicaea. But this is still up in the air

Now for my pepe silvia conspiracies . . . Feel free to bully me in the comments for these

ONE- The Time Quangle that Arthur Aguefort dropped on us in the second episode

We know that The Seven have already experienced a large chunk of this year during the GED quest that Aguefort was present for

And lesser men will say that the TIME QUANGLE is BLeeM's way of justifying the continuity errors between these two seasons

I am not one of them

The animated opening sees the Bad Kids falling past clocks and into a diamond prison created by Aguefort which explodes into the BK's falling in a scene eerily similar to them falling into Riz's briefcase of holding. They then face villains from both of the two previous seasons ( Goldenhoard, Kalina, a Corn-cutie, Chungledown Bim, James Whitclaw ( the mindflayer that kicked Fabian's ass during spring break) , Coach Daybreak, and Penelope w/ Dayne) in the Gym they fought Kalvaxus ( VP Goldenhoard ) before we get title cards for each of the Bad Kids

I posit that we will see the Bad Kids tumble through time as a result of not only Agueforts chronomancy adventure with Ayda but also the fuckery involving the time loop at the synod. Visiting their past villains in addition to current threats

TWO- Vice Principal Jace Stardiamond

Facts we know about Aguefort's resident sorcery prof and interim VP . . . Ragh Barkrock SAW him give Adaine's mom and Kalina the Nightmare King's crown from Aguefort's office after prompocalypse, Jace Stardiamond holds a useless position at Aguefort as sorcerers do not need any teaching for an innate ability, despite his uselessness he was chosen to become the VP, he was the person Yolanda Badgood was going to approach about the sinister shit surrounding Lucy Frostblade's 'disappearance' and the paperwork for a new deity she never saw. Yolanda is now dead, even though he is VP; after the death of Interim emergency backup principal Arcturus Grix He is still VP and Student body president Mazey Phaedra is now acting principal. Making room for KLCK to become principal next year if she wins that election.

Reviewing these fact I put forth the following idea, VP Jace Stardiamond is in cahoots with KLCK AND he is the unknown rogue teacher. WHY? how would someone with no knowledge of trickery or thievery manage to take the Nighmare King's Crown from Aguefort's office? How would a man that essentially does nothing as a teacher keep job security? What if the reason that KLCK was found by the rogue teacher was because he is in on the scheme? SPIE'S TONGUE CURSE?? SOMETHING THAT TWO ROGUES IN CAHOOTS WOULD USE DON'T YOU THINK? WHY WOULD HE MAKE RIZ A MEMBER OF THE FACULTY??

#dimension 20 #fhjy spoilers #d20 fhjy #fantasy high junior year #d20 fantasy high #theory #dimension 20 spoilers

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gracev0609 · 4 months

Text

I Was Born to Love You Pt. 2

Josh Kiszka X Reader

A gracev0609/ losfacedevil collaboration.

Warnings: 18+ only, Minors DNI, Explicit Sexual content, Breeding kink.

What started in @losfacedevil and I's DMs manifested into this little treat.

Without further adieu, here is Part 2.

The sun was beginning to set and the warm glow of the sun coming in through the windows paired with the soft glow of the lamp on the end table was creating the perfect cozy atmosphere. You laid on your plush couch wrapped up in the blankets that were usually draped along the back, and you were on the phone with your best friend Janelle. You two were in the midst of one of your girl chats where nothing was too TMI. As she chatters about getting back in the swing of things, sexually, with her husband Logan after having her first baby, you offered advice the best you could. You decide to bring up, albeit a little excitedly, that you and Josh were currently trying to get pregnant.

“ We've been trying to get pregnant, and I'm not going to lie, Josh has been really into it.” You spoke into the receiver.

“Yeah? What do you mean babe? Of course he's excited.”

“Well, I told him that I want him to put a baby in my belly and he just about jumped me,” you laughed,” and he's been, like, almost feral for me. It's really hot. I'm not sure what's so different from before.”

Now it was Janelle's turn to laugh.

“Y/N babe, you're kidding, you don't know what's going on?”

“ No, I don't!”

“ Sweetie, that's called a breeding kink. Docile, innocent Joshua has a dirty little kink.”

“Oh, my... that's making a lot of sense.. Janelle, it's seriously so hot, it's some of the best sex we've ever had.”

“ Maybe you have a bit of a kink too, huh?”

“No!, I don't think so, I mean I know I like it when he…” You waved your hand around gesturing so she would understand what you're getting at, even though she can't see you through the phone.

“Y/N, Sweetie. Please don't be so dense. That's bullshit and you know it, I saw the way you two were looking at each other when you visited last. He wants to see you pregnant with his baby as much as you want him to be a Daddy.”

A shy giggle escaped your lips, telling Janelle everything she needed to know.

“So, you really told him to put a baby in your belly? No wonder he's been feral, you're fueling his fire!”

You heard the front door open and Josh come shuffling in after his long day at the studio.

“Hey babe, Josh just got home, I'm gonna have to let you go.”

“Go on, have fun! I'm sure you've been unknowingly teasing the poor man all day.”

“Bye!” You called into the phone before pushing the end call button.

Josh came over to you on the couch, he lifted your wrapped up feet and sat down, putting them in his lap. He gently started rubbing them through the blankets, “ How was your day babe? Mine was so long, I'm glad to be home. We're almost done with the finishing touches on the album, which is exciting, but I really missed you today.”

You thought back on your day, pleasantly revisiting the thing you were keeping a secret for now. On a whim you decided to take a pregnancy test and to your surprise when you unveiled it to yourself you were met with a little plus sign, indicating that you were indeed pregnant. You thought about the little shriek of joy that erupted from your chest and the tears welling in the corners of your eyes. You were dying to tell Josh, but you wanted to make it a surprise for him. Spending the rest of the day you had left, before your chat with Janelle, you spent searching the Internet for ways to let your partner know you were expecting. After looking at cringy idea after cringy idea you decided it would be best to take him to the store and lead him to the baby aisle, and let the pieces fall into place for themselves.

“My day was pretty good, got everything done around here that I wanted to complete. How about we relax the rest of the evening?” You said sitting up and tucking your legs under yourself, bringing your hand to rest in Josh's hair, gently massaging his scalp. He lets out a little groan and relaxes into your touch.

“Feels good baby.”

Hearing the rasp in his voice sent a shiver down your spine and suddenly you were feeling needy.

“Do you want me to make you feel even better?”

His eyes open and a smirk adorns his mouth, “ What do you have in mind sweet girl?”

“Well, I was thinking about riding you, here on the couch. We still have some more practicing to do.”

Rising from the couch you start to undress, allowing his eyes to roam from your breasts, to your stomach, to your core now fully bare to him.

He lets out a breathy, “ God damn, you're so sexy Y/N. You want me to fill you up baby?”

“Please.”

Kneeling down in front of the couch in between his legs, you unbutton his pants and free his hardening cock.

“Just relax Joshy, let me make you feel good for a little.” You grasped him in your hand, gently pumping his length until it was fully hard. Once you wrap your plush soft lips around his tip, he leans his head back against the back of the couch.

Slowly you bob your head down his length, fast enough to make him feel good, but not enough to get him anywhere.

His whines are music to your ears, propelling your aching need for him at every pitchy note. You brought your lips back up to the head, suctioning his tip, before giving his slit kitten licks making him shudder. He whips his head off the couch, looking you in the eyes.

“Okay, okay! You said you want to ride me?”

You pull his pants and underwear down his legs, and he rips his white shirt off, matching you in your nakedness. Rising to your feet you climb onto the couch, straddling his waist. Hastily you grab his leaking cock and tease yourself with him. Circling his sensitive skin against your clit and down to your weeping entrance.

“Baby, don't you want me to stretch you out-ohhh” his sentence cut off by a moan as you sunk down, inch by inch, until he was nestled deep inside against your cervix. You rested your forehead against his, breathing heavily, taking note of the sting of his thick member stretching you out, his hot red blotchy skin of his muscular chest under your palms. The smell of his skin, notes of his now stale cologne mixed with his natural scent. This was the father of your baby. Josh. Emotion was bubbling in your chest, the love for him so strong you could cry. You removed your face from his, breathing in the cooler surrounding air, you couldn't let him see your emotions running high, it would ruin the surprise. Gently you move your hips, grinding them against his.

“God, Y/N you're so fucking tight. Feels so good baby, just what I needed.”

Josh grips his hands against your hips, his fingertips digging in slightly, as he helps you push and pull against him.

“What are we practicing love? Wanna hear you say it.” He growls into your ear.

“Making a baby Josh. Need you to knock me up.”

His hips buck up into yours, starting his grueling pace. All you can do is curse and moan as he fucks up into your sensitive cunt, he's pushing you both closer and closer to the finish line.

“I'm getting close,” you murmur into the slick skin of his neck.

He brings his hand in between your bodies and expertly rubs your clit, sending you skyrocketing towards your orgasm.

“ That's it love, cum all over my cock. You deserve it baby, such a good girl for me.”

Your eyes roll back and you cry out into his shoulder, pleasure rolling over your body in delicious waves.

He fucks you through it, now chasing his own high, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth,” Gonna cum, gonna fuck a baby in you,” he moans through gritted teeth, “ Gonna make your stomach swollen with my baby. Fuck- I'm cumming, gonna fill you up.”

You feel him pulse and throb inside you, and then you feel the hot spurts of his cum. A feeling you're now hooked on and can't imagine not having again. He grabs your jaw and pulls your lips to his, passionately kissing you as he settles down from his orgasm.

His eyes flutter open and a smile graces his lips, “ What do you think? Think we made a baby this time sweetheart?”

You match his smile, and have to rein yourself back from telling him, “ I hope so.”

You shakily stand up from his lap and go to head upstairs for a shower to clean up, you smile to yourself as you feel him dripping down the inside of your thigh.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

“Oh, lover boy!” You called, poking your head out of the bathroom door.

Josh had found his way into the bedroom, the thought of having to cook dinner no longer tickling his fancy. He laid sideways across the bed, face tucked safely away into the crook of his elbow, his breathing slow and even. You knew he heard you by the way he lifted his hand in a silent salute.

“Lover boy is a tired boy.” He chucked, dropping his arm away from his face and slowly pushed himself into a seated position. A soft smile spread across your face as you straightened your back out and you reached for your hair brush.

“So I know we said we were gonna relax for the rest of the night but I just ran out of my body wash, how does a trip to Target sound?” You called, slowly making your way out of the bathroom and over to where he sat. He rolled his eyes, leaning up to press a soft kiss to your lips.

“You literally sucked every last ounce of energy out of me through my dick and now you want me to go walk Target for the next hour. Ugh, fine, but only if you drive.” He chuckled, reaching a hand out in your direction for some help up.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

“You said we were here for body wash, not for more stuff for Bennie.” He chuckled, slowly beginning to sift through the racks of baby clothes. A soft smile spread across your face as your plan slowly began to fall into place.

Your heart hammered in your chest, just the thought of the words you were trying to form sending you into a nervous spiral. You nodded your head gently, slowly searching the rack for a gender neutral colored onesie. Josh picked out a few and held them up against his chest, showing them off to you. Lifting your hand you pointed at the tiny yellow onesie covered in a duck print that he held and motioned for him to come closer.

“I mean Janelle did say that Bennie baby needed some new onesies - the formula she supplements with really stains apparently. But we’re not here for Bennie.” You started, proceeding with caution as you plucked the onesie out of his hand and laid it against your own body.

“Not here for Bennie? Then what? Are you hoping for sparkles and pixie dust to fly off of these baby clothes and help us conceive?” He chuckled, plucking another onesie off of the rack. You giggled nervously, turning your attention to him.

“I mean, not exactly, but we do have some shopping to do for another little baby.” You were hopeful he caught on as you held the onesie against your stomach. Josh chuckled lightly and reached out, plucking the onesie from your hands.

“Excuse me? What little baby? Did my brothers tell you something I don’t know?” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes lightly, the wishful pang in your chest that it had actually been Sevda and Jake, something she had confided in you popping into your mind and caused tears to sting the corners of your eyes. Pulling a deep breath in through your nose you held it to the count of ten and steeled yourself and straightened your back.

“No, not your brothers…. You. Us. We’re having a baby, lover boy.” You kept your voice soft, not wanting to draw any attention to yourselves. Josh’s eyes grew wide and he closed the distance between the two of you.

“I’m sorry… WHAT?!” He couldn’t help the volume of his voice and a soft wince kissed his facial features as his outburst drew the attention of the worker near them. He reached up and cupped your cheeks in his hands, peppering soft kisses to your forehead and nose.

“What do you mean we’re having a baby? THERE’S A BABY IN THERE?! Sorry, sorry I’ll behave. Oh my god… I… I put a baby in you?” He whispered softly, his eyes growing wide as the realization sunk in and his hands flew to your stomach, rubbing them gently over the fabric of your shirt. You nodded gently, tears pooling in your eyes as you leaned your head forward and pressed your face into the mop of curls on top of his head.

“You put a baby in me, your baby, our baby.” Josh kept his face hidden, a wide grin spreading across his face as he fought back the tears that threatened to pool in his eyes. He slipped his hand up under the hem of your shirt, pressing his warm palm to you skin.

“There’s a little baby in there… how long have you known?” His voice was barely a whisper, not wanting to share his secret with any of the shoppers around them. You smiled into the soft warmth his hair cast on your face, reaching up to place your hands over his.

“Just this morning, something told me to take a test - you know I don’t track my cycle the way I should honestly. And well… a tiny little plus sign popped up.” You cooed, lifting your head from his and reached up to cup your hand around his chin, lifting his head so you could see his face.

“I have to tell Jake.” He mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before taking off in the direction of the store entrance.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Jake rolled his eyes as his older brothers name lit up his phone screen. Sliding the answer bar across his screen he quickly tapped the speaker button and continued to pluck away at the guitar in his lap.

“This better be important dude.” Jake almost growled, unsure of what could be so important as he had just seen Josh yesterday. Josh took a deep, steadying breath tilting his head towards the sky and let his eyes flutter shut. He cleared his throat quietly and counted to ten in his mind.

“Jake listen, you can’t tell mom or dad or Sam or Danny okay?” Jake quirked a brow before placing the guitar in his grasp on the floor and scooped up his phone, quickly turning off the speaker function and pressed it firmly to his ear.

“You didn’t kill anyone did you? You didn’t crash the car? Y/N’s alright, right?” Jakes mind began to move a mile a minute, unsure of what could be so important that he was being sworn to secrecy. He could hear Josh pacing, the sound of the breeze through the line changing every time he turned.

“No, I didn’t kill anyone or crash the car, yes she’s okay. She is better than okay actually. Jake, you’re gonna be an uncle.”

Jakes mouth fell open as tears quickly sprang to his eyes and the phone slipped from his hand, clattering to the floor and drawing the attention of his girlfriend, Sevda. She turned her head quickly and her eyes widened slightly at the look of shock on Jake’s face. She made her way over to him quickly and perched herself on the arm of the couch, reaching over to press his jaw together.

“What’s the matter Jake? Who’s on the phone?” She bent at the waist and scooped the phone up off of the floor, tapping the screen to light up the caller ID.

Josh could hear the commotion on the other end of the line. Sevda remained calm as she tried to shake Jake out of whatever trance he was in. Pulling a deep breath in through her nose she tapped the speaker function on the phone screen.

“Josh what have you done to break your brother? I think he’s forgotten how to function outside of letting tears stream down his cheeks. Jake, darling what happened?”

A nervous chuckle escaped Josh as he mentally prepared to say the words once more. Sevda cupped Jakes cheek in her hand and swiped her thumb under his eye to rid his skin of the tears that lay there.

“Sev, she’s pregnant.”

A soft gasp escaped Sevdas lips and she turned her attention to the phone in her hand. Another nervous chuckle escaped Josh in the deafening silence, both his brother and sister in law now both shocked by the words that had come out of his mouth.

“Hey, guys? Can you say something… anything?” Josh chuckled, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck. He could hear Jake sniffling, and the soft words of encouragement Sevda was muttering, clearly picturing her forehead pressed up against the side of Jakes head as she whispered sweet nothings to him.

“I’m sorry, it’s just.. I’m so happy for you Josh, you’re gonna be the best dad. And she’s gonna be the best mama, you see how she is with Jade even though she’s older.” Jakes eyes danced across the room to where Sevdas four year old Jade sat and his heart soared with the idea of her having a baby cousin.

“Where is she, Josh? Can I speak to her?” Sevda asked, her mind reeling with just how she had felt when she found out she was pregnant.

“She’s shopping for all the babies apparently, I thought we were here for Bennie but I’ll have her call you guys as soon as we get home.”

Jake pulled another deep breath in through his nose as Jade found him across the room and reached out in his direction. He smiled softly at the little girl and nodded.

“I’m being summoned to the tea party. Princesses know nothing of their Kings importance. I’m so happy for you guys.”

“Send her all our love, Josh. We’ll talk to you guys later.” Sevda kept her voice light and sweet as she bid Josh a farewell and hung up the phone.

A sigh of relief slipped past Joshs lips as he turned on his heel and marched back into Target, his mind reeling with Jakes reaction and how he was going to tell Y/N she made her favorite Kiszka cry.

A soft smile spread across Josh’s face as he saw the amount of things you had strewn across the cart, things for Bennie and Jade in one pile and a couple little onesies in the other. You were stood in the middle of the aisle with you phone pressed firmly to you ear and a wide smile spread across your face. Josh sidled up next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pressing a soft kiss to you temple as you quickly finished up your call.

“I just need you to know you’ve made your favorite Kiszka cry and Sevda doesn’t know what to do with him now.” Josh chuckled, his eyes landing on the Aunt and Uncle onesies you had found digging around the clearance rack.

“Janelle next?” He questioned, pointing at the collection of onesies. You nodded enthusiastically, laying out the Aunt and Uncle onesies for him to get a good look at them.

“Yeah! She’s up for visitors now so we might as well just take advantage of it before she’s too tired or Bennie gets too fussy. Oh! And look - I found a cute cousin shirt for Jade! They didn’t tell my Princess did they?” You joked, turning your full attention to Josh. He shrugged his shoulders, folding the shirt he was holding in his hand and tossed it back into the carriage.

“Not while I was on the phone, should I have told them not to tell Jade?” Josh’s eyes grew wide as the realization that you may want to tell Jade yourself washed over him. A soft giggle escaped your lips and you shook your head, beginning to push the cart in the direction of the registers.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

“Where’s my Bennie baby?!” You cooed, pushing your way through Janelles heavy metal front door. Janelles eyes lit up as you and Josh came into view, small gift bags filled with goodies for both Janelle and Bennie in each of Josh’s hands.

“He’s my baby. But you can have him, I have to pee so bad!” Janelle joked, pushing herself to stand with her free arm and slowly made her way over to where you stood. A soft smile spread across your face as she handed Bennie over to you and quickly ran off to the bathroom.

“How do you think she’s gonna react? Do I need to be prepared for tears like when she told you she was pregnant with Bennie?” Josh chuckled, pressing both of the gift bags into one hand and reached up to smooth his hand over Bennies head.

“She may cry or she may scream and squeeze me to death, only time will tell.” You giggled, leaning down to press a kiss to the baby’s forehead.

“I missed you my Bennie boo, have you been good for mama and dada? Or have you given them a run for their money?” You cooed, watching as Bennie wrapped his tiny hand around your finger. Josh wrapped his arm gently around your waist and pressed the palm of his hand firmly against your stomach as he hooked his chin over your shoulder. He let his fingers dance slowly over the sliver of exposed sink above the waistband of your jeans and turned his head to press a soft kiss to your cheek.

“I bet he’s the best baby for mama and dada aren’t you, Bennie? You let mama sleep right?” Josh cooed, jumping lightly at the gentle touch of Janelles hand on his shoulder.

“What is sleep? Chunky monkey is up every two hours to eat to the point I’ve had to start using formula because I just cannot keep up with his demand.” Josh turned his head slightly and pulled back from you a little bit to get a better look at Janelle.

“For you M’lady.” Josh chuckled, handing Janelle the two gift bags that he was holding in his hand. Janelles eyes lit up as she scooped the bags out of his hand.

“Bennie baby do you see how spoiled you are?! Auntie and Uncle can’t come to visit without bringing you a gift now can they?” Janelle giggled, placing the bags down on the coffee table to her right. She pulled the tissue paper out of the top of one of the bags and reached in, pulling out a single onesie.

“Guys you know this isn’t gonna fit chunky boy right?” Janelle asked, turning her attention to you as you handed Bennie off to Josh. You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly and tilted your head to the side as she unfolded the onesie.

“Auntie? Why does this say Auntie?” Janelle spoke, her eyes slowly filling with tears. A soft smile spread across your face as you took a step towards her.

“There may be a bun in my oven if you catch my drift.” You giggled, placing your hands against your stomach. Janelles eyes grew wide and the onesie slipped out of her hands and fluttered to the floor.

“You… YOU’RE PREGNANT?!” Janelle closed the distance between you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, pulling your body tightly against hers.

“I don’t know how far along I am but that little plus sign stared me straight in the face this morning.” You giggled, reciprocating her hug.

“THIS MORNING?! YOU FOUND OUT THIS MORNING AND YOU’RE ALREADY TELLING ME?! Congratulations guys.”

Josh’s eyes were glossed over as he gently swayed in place, tapping the sleeping baby in his arms on the bottom as he watched you both hug. He pulled a deep breath in through his nose as his mind reeled with everything that had transpired that day. You placed your hands gently against your stomach as you spoke to Janelle, something Josh was actively blocking out as he started to come to terms with what everything meant. You were going to be parents and the whole world was about to change.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Your hands shook slightly as nerves and butterflies danced in your stomach. You looked over at Josh who smiled back at you like he was sunshine personified. He was driving you to your first OB appointment, maneuvering the road with a bit of extra care. He wouldn't admit it but he was just as nervous and excited as you were. Your eyes glanced down to his small leather bound notebook and pen he brought along and your heart swelled that he was going to take notes.

Josh followed your eyes and softly said,” I just want to be prepared. I want to know everything. I- I want to be a good dad.”

You grabbed his hand off of the gearshift and grasped it in your own, “ You will be Josh. I know it, you are so kind and so loving, this baby is so lucky to have you as their father.”

He pulled the truck into a parking spot out front of the doctor's office.

His eyes were filled with emotion as he breathed out,“I love you.”

“I love you too Josh.”

He slowly exhales before cracking open his car door,“I guess we better get in there.”

He snatches his notebook before hopping out of the truck, rounding the front to come help you out.

Once inside the office you check in and take a seat in the waiting room. Josh leans over and asks where your paperwork is.

“ I did it online yesterday.”

His brow furrows slightly,” Oh, times certainly have changed.”

You laugh,” Josh you're becoming a dad, not a grandpa!”

He chuckles along with you and fiddles with his notebook in his lap.

Both of your heads shoot up as a nurse calls your name out.

“Come on back sweetie!”

You followed your nurse past many identical rooms until she ushered you to the last one on the left. Closing the door behind you she tells you to take a seat on the bed, and instructs Josh to sit in the chair next to it.

“So on your chart it says this is your first baby, that's so exciting! Congratulations!”

“Thank you, we are so excited!,” you beamed at her before looking at Josh with nothing but love in your eyes.

“Okay Y/N, I'm going to just check your vitals and then your doctor will be in shortly.”

You tried to keep your breathing even as she went through the routine of listening with her stethoscope and using the blood pressure cuff.

“Alright Mama, all looks good, I'll go and let your doctor know you're ready.”

Mama.

You felt your chest squeeze as the reality of the situation began to set in. You and Josh weren't just playing around anymore, giving into your desires. You were actually going to be someone's mom. You knew deep in your bones you would do anything for the little life in your stomach, you were their mom.

Josh chuckles lightly after the door closes, “ The fan girlies go wild when I say mama. I'll have to start calling you Mama now.”

You shook your head smiling,” I don't know about that.”

A light knock on the door interrupted your banter, and a gentle looking woman with curly grey hair walked in,” Hi Y/N. I'm Dr. Penza, but please call me Nancy,” she extends her hand to meet yours to shake. She turns her attention to Josh,” And you must be dad!,” she offers her hand to Josh.

His face lights up in a beaming smile,” Yes! I'm Josh, it's nice to meet you Nancy.”

“Alright Y/N, let's get into it shall we? All your vitals look great, so when was your last menstrual cycle?”

You think back, noting that you haven't had one this month or last. “We're at the beginning of the month, and I didn't get my period last month, so the middle of the month before that. Maybe 6 weeks ago?”

“Lovely! And when did you see the positive pregnancy test?”

“Last Saturday.”

“Wonderful!” Nancy grabs a pair of gloves and asks you to lay back,” I'm going to do a pelvic exam and then get a look at your cervix.”

Again you focus on your breathing as she pokes and prods, feeling for things you don't exactly understand. You look over to Josh and a soft smile plays on your lips as he is writing in his notebook that he brought along. Nancy takes notice and softly speaks to you,” You've got yourself a good one.”

“Okay, everything is looking great, I'm going to take you down the hall and we're going to do some blood work. Josh you can come along, or stay here depending on how you are with blood,” Nancy laughs lightly, helping you down off the table.

Josh smirks slightly,” Blood doesn't bother me none, I'll go with.”

You pray Josh's innuendo goes over Nancy's head, but alas it doesn't and she remarks,” Oh, honey. You really got yourself a good one.”

Your cheeks flame as you follow her out the door to another area of the clinic for your tests.

🌼🌼

Once back in the exam room she instructed you to get back up on the table,” Do you want to see your baby?”

The largest smile landed on your lips,” oh my god yes! Yes please.”

Your doctor wheeled a big machine over from the corner of the room, which you now understood was an ultrasound machine. You leaned all the way back on the bed and Josh came to stand right behind you. He leaned down so your faces could be level. He kisses your cheek tenderly, “ I'm ready to see our little baby. Our little Sunshine.”

Nancy turns off the lights in the exam room and fires up the machine. She resumes her position by your legs and gently rolls up the hem of your shirt,” Now this stuff is going to be a little chilly at first, so I apologize!”

She squirts some clear gel onto your lower stomach and it take everything in you not to flinch at the temperature difference. She takes the wand connected to the machine and places it on your skin, rubbing it around as she looks at the screen,” Ah! There they are,” she points to the blob on the screen,” that right there is your baby.”

Before you can begin to process what you are looking at, a choked sob comes from Josh.

He buries his face in the crook of your neck for a moment, desperately trying to compose himself,” I'm so sorry!” He sniffles,” Fuck, I'm so sorry. It's just that I'm so happy. That's our baby. We created that.”

You look at his face, tears streaming down his cheeks, his eyes are locked on the little blob on the screen. You bring your palm up to cup his cheek,and your thumb softly strokes his face, as you both look at the screen as your doctor explains what you're looking at.

Josh whispers,” This is so beautiful.”

“Do you want pictures of your ultrasound printed out?”

“Please. Is it a bother if we have a few? I want to give some to our family,” you ask her as she wipes the gel off of your stomach.

“Absolutely!”

Once she returns with your pictures you can't help but zone out, staring at the little jelly bean in your hands as she explains everything else you need to know to you and Josh.

“Alright honey, it was a pleasure to meet you, and Josh, and I'll see you at your next appointment! Take care!”

The both of you walk out of the doctor's office in a haze of joy as you clutch the pictures in your hand, one for each of his brothers and your parents.

You were quiet on the ride home, mind buzzing. Once Josh parked the truck in the driveway he asked,” Can we go inside and just lay together, let me hold you and love on you for a bit?”

“Joshy, you can love on me all night if you want.”

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Stepping out of the hot shower you grabbed a fluffy towel out of the towel warmer Josh insisted you buy. Wrapping yourself in the warmth you definitely weren't complaining about the purchase. Josh was doing everything in his power to make sure you were stress free, between being at your beck and call on his days off, to making dinner, to giving you a foot massage. He insists because according to him, your body growing a baby is stressful enough, and he can take care of the rest.

You walk into the adjoining bedroom, still wrapped in your towel to find Josh walking into the bedroom from the hall.

“Hi my love. I just finished cleaning up from dinner. How was your shower?” Josh asks while grasping his crew neck sweatshirt and slipping it off, leaving him in just his sweatpants.

You grab your lotion from the top of your dresser and start lathering it on your arms and shoulders,” It was nice, just what I needed for my back.”

Josh gets comfortable on the bed, laying all the way back against the pillows with his arm above his head, absentmindedly playing with his hair.

You let your towel slip from your body to the floor as you continue to lotion your skin. Your hands slide over your chest, and over your stomach before grabbing the lotion and taking it to the edge of the bed so you can prop your leg up.

You catch Josh's eyes as his rake over your form.

“Baby? Come here.”

He pulls you to his side of the bed and places his warm palm against your stomach.

“Sweetie, that's a bump. That's definitely a bump!”

He presses his lips to your stomach leaving soft kisses on your skin.

“I noticed it yesterday, they're getting bigger every day, ” You run your fingers over the soft shaved sides of his head.

He pulls you into his lap and you lay your head on his shoulder as his fingers caress your tummy.

Josh speaks softly,” I think it's a girl.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I just have a feeling. She's going to be my little Sunshine. So many people have told me that I'm destined to do great things, and for a long time I only thought they were talking about my music. But I think I was also destined to be a father to this little baby. That's the greatest thing I could ever accomplish.”

You shift in his lap so your legs are now on either side of his hips. Cupping his face in your hands you connect your lips with his, instantly parting your mouth and sucking on his bottom lip.

After only a moment of kissing Josh whines and you feel him flex his hips, searching for some kind of friction. He trails hot kisses down your throat, the smell of your body wash and the lotion you just applied overwhelming his senses.

“I can't get enough of you. You look so divine with that little bump. Even more perfect than I imagined.”

Your breath catches in your throat,” How often have you imagined me like this?”

He sucks on the skin at your collarbones,” Every day since we started trying. Multiple times a day if I'm being honest. Makes me so hard, you're so gorgeous.”

Grinding your hips down you now feel him fully hard in his sweatpants.

He groans before speaking,” Get up baby, I need you to see how stunning you are.”

He leads you to the other end of the bed, he strips his pants and sits down on the corner of the mattress, his hard cock bobbing as he gets adjusted.

“Sit between my legs Y/N, back against my chest.”

You sit in front of him, and feel goosebumps form over your skin as your back makes contact with the soft skin of his chest, and his hard cock resting against your ass. Josh softly dances his fingertips over your skin, up your arms, across your chest, down to your swollen stomach. Going back up and grasping your chin in his hand,” Look how beautiful you are Y/N,” his other hand points to the large floor length mirror in the corner of your bedroom.

His free hand comes back to caress your stomach and he whispers in your ear,” So pretty pregnant with my baby.”

You can't even utter a word, your body is aflame with need for your baby's father, all you can do is lean back more against his chest and shift your hips down a bit, hoping he'll take the bait and touch you where you need him to.

Josh chuckles lightly and places a kiss on your cheek, his hand cradling your stomach comes down between your legs, just cupping your heat. His other leaves your jaw and goes to wrap around your torso, knowing that you'll need the support soon.

Gently he swipes his middle finger through your slick, up and down, just barely brushing into your clit. Your eyes flutter closed as you melt against his chest.

“Keep your eyes open babydoll.”

You open your eyes again and find him staring back at you in the mirror with a smirk on his lips.

“It feels too good Josh.”

He growls,” I've barely touched you yet.”

His pointer finger and ring finger hold open your lips, and you both can see your pink skin peeking in the mirror. His middle digit runs through your slick yet again until he finally rubs a tight circle over your clit. You breathe a sigh of relief as he touches you where you need it the most. Your hips subconsciously buck up into his hand. He can't even reprimand you as he's too busy enjoying the sight of you grinding and squirming in his arms in the mirror.

“Gonna cum soon,” you murmur.

“Such a good girl, let me watch you baby.”

His fingers circle over your clit faster and you clutch onto his forearm that's draped across your body.

The fire in your stomach spreads through your whole body as you moan his name, cumming hard.

“Stunning.”

You turn your head to look at his face,” Let me ride you, I wanna watch in the mirror.”

With that he positions himself further back on the bed,” Climb on sweetness.”

You go to straddle him reverse and he stops you,” No baby, I want to look at that pretty little tummy.”

Before you can even protest that you won't be able to see he shifts again on the bed so now you'll both be able to look to your left and see in the mirror.

Straddling his hips you grab his cock, stroking him softly before smearing the precum across his slit with your thumb making him shudder. You tease him a bit more before sliding him between your legs and sinking down on his length. Sitting there for a moment as your body adjusts to his size, his hands come up to caress your stomach once again.

“I just can't get over it. You're so, so beautiful.”

“I love you Josh.”

You place your hands on his chest and start to grind your hips. You sigh, feeling so full. After a few minutes of rocking Josh snakes his hand between your bodies to rub your clit again knowing he's not going to last much longer. You clench around him and he groans, an almost pained, “ You're close?” slips from his lips.

He feels you flutter around him as a feral moan escapes from your chest and he lets go, fucking his cum into your sensitive cunt. He lets you ride out your orgasm to completion even though he's clenching his jaw through the overstimulation.

You collapse forward into his chest breathing heavily into his sweaty skin.

He gently pets your hair and praises you for being so good for him. You close your eyes and focus on the feeling of him growing soft inside of you still, his cum oozing out from where you're connected.

“I need another shower,” you speak into his skin.

He chuckles and you feel it rumble in his chest,” Let's get you cleaned up love.”

He helps you up and back into the bathroom. Once the water is hot enough he steps in, extending his hand for you to grab. Josh reaches above his head and grabs the detachable shower head so you can have your own stream of hot water, and you mindlessly rinse away the mess you made. Josh squirts some of your body wash into his hand and rubs his palms together. Wordlessly he starts washing your body with care. His hands pause on your stomach and his eyes flick up to meet yours,” My beautiful girls.”

His smile beams, highlighting his perfect smile, the one you pray that your baby gets.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

You and Josh were having a lazy afternoon with nothing to do but watch whatever movie he had desired. Both of you were wrapped up in the blankets on the couch, him in nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants and you in an oversized t shirt.

“Baby, I could really go for some ice cream,” you told him as he softly ran his fingers over the soft skin of your calf, “ ooh and some cheddar sour cream ruffles.”

“Having a craving sweet girl?” Josh asked, pulling out his phone and opening the app for delivery service.

You brought your hands to your stomach, caressing your large bump, “ She really wants Ben and Jerry's Cherries Garcia.”

Josh added every sweet and savory treat you wanted to the cart and hit check out,” It'll be here in 15.”

You smiled to yourself as you knew he paid extra for priority. You once again became engrossed in the film he had playing on the tv and soon enough your doorbell rang signaling that your treats were here. He rose from the couch and went to retrieve the goodies, you couldn't help the giggle that escaped your lips when he came back in the room with three bags from the local grocery store.

“You ordered so much!”

He took everything out of the bag and set it up on the coffee table in front of you before running to the kitchen to grab a spoon for your ice cream.

“Needed options in case Sunshine changes her mind on what flavor she wants”

You popped the safety seal and dove right in, moaning when the florally sweet ice cream graced your taste buds. Josh leans over and kisses your stomach, “ Did Daddy pick the right kind?”

You smile and nod your head, grateful for your partner's care.

He kisses your stomach a few more times, “ Ya know, I'm kinda craving something right now too.”

You take another bite of your ice cream and reply with a full mouth, “ Damn, you should have ordered it babe.”

“I don't need to order anything, just lean back and eat your ice cream.”

Josh pushes up your shirt to expose the skin of your stomach and his eyes hone in on your bare core. He lightly trails kisses down your now stretch marked skin, nipping every once in a while. You watch him in awe, the arousal pooling in between your legs getting harder to bear.

“Eat your ice cream Y/N.”

You shifted your hips down a little more, propping up the pint where your breasts meet your stomach, taking another spoonful of the sugary sweet.

Josh's hands settle in the crease of your thighs gently spreading your legs for him. He rests his head on the inside of your thigh and breathes you in deeply.

He murmurs into your core, “ I can smell how aroused you are.”

Your clit throbs at the words leaving his sinful lips, knowing you're moments away from having them wrapped around it.

He leans his head in more, his soft curls tickling the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, and licks his tongue through your folds. He moans the second he tastes your arousal on his tongue.

“ God, you taste so good, I'm so hard already.”

The glorious warmth of his tongue laps at your labia, his tongue thoroughly lapping at every crease, babying one side and then the other. He works his way up your slit, purposely neglecting your throbbing clit. He knows that you need him to suck it into his hot mouth, to cradle her with his tongue.

Finally he pulls your aching bud in between his soft plush lips, sucking gently at first.

You groan and decide to discard your Ben and Jerry's, destined to be forgotten about on the coffee table.

His tongue slowly rolls over your clit, he's taking his time, making sure you fully feel every sensation.

You can't see much of him due to your protruding baby bump, but you can see the slight rise and fall of his ass as he's grinding his painfully hard cock into the couch.

He slides his fingers through the slick between your legs, thoroughly coating his middle and ring finger, before prodding at your entrance that is begging to be filled by any part of him. Gently he inserts his fingers, slowly sliding them in and out of your hole. You groan and clench, begging him for more.

He curls his fingers up and starts sucking your clit harder into his mouth. His lips tighten around your bud as his tongue continues to roll around it.

“I'm so close Josh.”

He hasn't dared take his mouth away from you, only wanting to push you to your orgasm faster.

One final curl of his fingers and a lick of his tongue and you're crying out, cumming hard on his face. Through your haze you hear him moan, the way you've heard thousands of times throughout the years, the way he moans when he's cumming.

Your chest is heaving as you come down from your incredible high. The sinful combination of your sweet treat and his skilled tongue leaves you incredibly satisfied.

He gently pulls his fingers from you, sucking them clean, and then he gently licks up your release from between your legs, careful to not overstimulate your sensitive skin.

You lean up and you're able to see his face again. His cheeks are flushed red, and his lips and chin are shiny with your juices. His eyes are a little droopy, high on pleasure.

“Did you…”

A sheepish smile adorns his lips as he rises to his knees, a large wet spot now sits on the front of his sweatpants, making the fabric a dark grey.

“I- uh..”

You stare at the stain on his pants and breathe, “ That's so hot babe.”

“ I couldn't help it, you're so beautiful. I love worshiping you.”

You stand up from the couch and grab his hands, pulling him up with you.

“I'm going to need you to get ready for round two, lover boy.”

He chuckles as he follows you through the house towards your bedroom.

His eyes are locked on the little peek of skin he can see when the fabric of your shirt swishes. The smallest glimpse of your ass cheeks. Once you reach your bedroom you turn to face him and pull your shirt off, his eyes study your body, he admires the changes you've gone through since becoming a mother. Your breasts are a bit heavier, your stomach swollen with his baby, dotted with stretch marks that you don't hate because your body is changing for your growing daughter.

“ I need you to fuck me deep, baby.”

He pulls down his now soiled sweats, his length already starting to harden once again.

“Go lay on the bed sweetheart, I'll be right over.”

He grabs the waterproof sex blanket from the closet you've invested in since this activity has gotten messier than before. He comes to find you on the bed on all fours, back arched. Josh swallows thickly when his eyes trace the curves of your figure.

“You're going to kill me,” Josh mutters.

He makes his way to the head of the bed and grabs a few pillows, he covers them with the blanket and spreads the rest of it out.

You watch him inquisitively, cocking your brow up as to ask him what are they for?

“It's so you have something to brace yourself on. If your arms get tired, I've gotta make sure my girls are safe.”

He leans in and kisses your temple.You position yourself hovering over the pillows like Josh instructed, and lean down into them while wiggling your ass in the air. You call to Josh over your shoulder, “ Come on Daddy, I need you inside me.”

A shuddered breath escapes his lips, and you feel the bed dip under his weight as he positions himself behind you. His knuckles brush against your ass as he pumps himself in his hand a few times. A sigh erupts from your chest as the soft pillowy head of his cock makes contact with your wet slit, he glides himself up and down coating himself in your arousal.

“Please.”

You feel him shudder slightly before pressing himself at your entrance, slowly entering you, letting your body stretch against his. Once he was fully sheathed inside your warm wetness you feel his large palms glide up your back to your shoulders. He gently kneads the muscles of your back paying special attention to your lower back, which he knows has been feeling a lot of strain lately. He rubs his thumbs in circles over the taut muscles and you just about collapse forward into the pillows. After a few blissful moments of relaxation he moves his hands further down, kneading the flesh of your ass beneath his palms.

“Can you start to move Joshy? I want it.” You whine from the pillows.

“Shhhhh Y/N. Just let me worship you. Just focus on the feeling. I'm rubbing away the pain as my cock stretches you out. Feel me deep inside.”

You groan as you know he's right. You relish the way he fills you so completely. How you're connected as one. You feel his love radiating off of him, he's caring for you in ways no man has ever done before, and no man will ever do besides him.

Gently Josh rocks his hips forward, unable to deny himself any longer. The slow drag of his cock hitting all the right spots makes you groan yet again.

“That's it sweet girl, just take it. You take me so well.”

His hands slide from your hips down to caress your stomach. Josh leans forward to check in on you,” Doing okay Mama? You still feel good?”

You pant, “ Feels so good Josh. I love you.”

“I love you too Y/N,” he pointedly thrusts his hips in an achingly slow rhythm.

A chorus of praises including good girl, and beautiful goddess slip past his lips like a mantra as his slow pace gently guides you to your ends.

The knot in your stomach is tightening as his hands find your hips, fingertips digging in tight.

“You're almost there, I feel you fluttering around me.”

You cry out as your orgasm takes hold, blissfully washing over you.

“I'm there too baby, gonna fill you up, fuck,” his pace faulters and he chases his orgasm quickly drilling into you as his fingers dig even further into your hips. Josh moans lowly as his cock throbs and spurts his cum, painting your walls.

“Fuck…” he drapes his body over yours, his forehead resting on your back.

Gently he pulls out his softening cock, hissing at the cool air. He peppers kisses on your back before guiding you to lay on your side. You giggle as your limbs feel like wet noodles.

“I'm ready for a nap now,” you told him sleepily. Sex always relaxed you and made you tired, but even more so now that your body has been making a little human.

“Rest baby, I've got you.”

Josh pulls you into his chest, ready to indulge in a nap himself.

After just shy of a two hour nap you wake up feeling gross and sticky still laying on the blanket that housed your mess.

You tap on Josh's chest trying to wake him as he continues to snore away. He quickly intakes a breath of air,” Hi baby. Sleep good?”

You laugh gently at his quick response as if he wasn't in a deep sleep, “ I did, but we're all gross I need a shower”

You raise up slowly and scoot to the end of the bed trying to maneuver your body out.

“Do you want my help?” Josh asks, watching you struggle, silently wishing you could remove and reattach your baby bump when convenient.

“No, if I can't do it now, I'm going to be SOL when she gets bigger.” You tell him, sitting on the edge of the bed catching your breath a bit.

He smirks to himself at your independence, guessing that his daughter will take after you in that aspect.

Josh follows you into the bathroom and turns the shower on nice and hot. He sits down on the covered toilet seat watching you as you admire your bump in the floor length mirror.

He furrows his brow and asks,” What's that?” Pointing to the little black and blue marks on each of your hips framing your stomach.

You blush slightly, “ They're bruises.”

You walk over to where he sits as you know he's going to want to inspect them.

He traces his fingers over the purpleish dots, “ I did this? Are you okay? I'm so sorry baby, I didn't realize I was gripping you so tightly.”

He starts fussing over you, “ Joshy, it's okay! I like it. I liked how I got them and I certainly like seeing them. Don't get upset, please.”

He places his hands on your stomach and places his lips to the bruises on your hips, his facial hair tickling your skin, “ I love you so much”

He kisses each bruise before placing a kiss to your bump, and that's when he feels a small push against his palm and he freezes. His eyes grow wide and a smile grows on his lips,” Was that what I think it was?”

You can't contain your smile either as you lock eyes with him, “ That was a baby kick, honey. She kicked for the first time.”

He presses his lips against your stomach yet again,” Hi my little Sunshine, I felt you! Daddy loves you so,so much. I can't wait to meet you.”

Josh stands and wraps you in his arms,” God, I can't wait to meet her, and hold her against my chest.”

“You know, we still have to name her.”

Josh scoffs lightly, as if you didn't know already, “ Her name is Sunshine. She's the light of my life, I think it's fitting.”

“Joshy, no, that's too peace and love and all that.”

He shrugs his shoulders, “ I'm going to call her Sunshine regardless.”

You roll your eyes lightheartedly as you step into the shower, him following right behind.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Josh and Jake were always going over to one another's house throughout the years you've known them, so it wasn't a surprise when you came home from the grocery store to see Jake strumming a guitar on your couch.

He set the guitar down,” Hey Y/N, do you need help with bringing in the bags?”

You sat down onto the couch next to him, “ Actually, yeah if you could. Shopping really took it out of me.”

Without another word he got up and went to retrieve your groceries.

Josh came back into the living room with two cocktails in his hand,” Hey baby, that was quick, I'm glad you're home.”

Jake came back in, armloads of plastic grocery bags in his arms,” Yeah, he wouldn't stop checking his phone, he was very worried about you going to the store by yourself.”

Josh opens his mouth to protest, but couldn't find the words since Jake was right.

Jake turns his attention to you, sitting back down on the couch to your right as Josh sits to the left, “ How have you been feeling,Y/N?”

“Not too bad, mostly just tired. I'm officially 5 months along now, I feel like she's getting bigger every day.”

Jake chuckles lightly, “ I mean, she kinda is isn't she.”

Josh sets his drink down and moves his hand to lay flat against your bump, “ The other night we felt her kick for the first time and it was the coolest thing Jake.”

Jake smiles at his twin.

“ Come on Sunshine, I know you want to kick your little feet out for us,” Josh cooes.

“Babe, I don't think she's going to do it on command.”

As the words leave your mouth, you feel your baby press on the right side of your stomach. Quickly you grab Jake's hand and press it over the area she's nudging, next to Josh's palm.

“Holy shit,” Jake whispers. His eyes widen as he looks at Josh. You notice Jake's eyes soften and he leans in and places a gentle kiss on your temple. He looks at you, “ You're so beautiful,” his gaze shifts to your stomach and then to Josh,” This is so beautiful. Thank you for letting me experience this with you.”

“Jake-” you start.

“I just, I just love you guys okay?”

He removes his hand from your stomach and you wrap your arms around him instead, “ She's going to love you so much, you're her Daddy's other half.”

Pulling away from you slightly, he wipes his under eyes, “ Damnit Y/N, don't make me cry.”

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

It was later on in the evening after Jake left to go back home to his love Sevda, when you decided to make a quick pasta dish for dinner.

You were sauteing the onions and garlic on the stove when you felt Josh's hands wrap around your frame and settle on your stomach. He rests his chin on your shoulder as his fingertips work their way underneath your shirt caressing your skin softly.

“Hey Mama, dinner is smelling really good,” he murmurs into your shoulder, “ I've been doing some research.”

You cock your head, turning to look at him before adding the tomato sauce into your pan,” Research? What for love?”

He rubs gentle circles over your bump as he continues speaking,” Well baby, you've made me quite aware that you aren't thrilled with the idea of Sunshine being her legal name.”

“Right.”

“So I've been scouring the Internet for names that mean Sunshine, and I've found the perfect one for our baby.”

“ The perfect one? Let me hear it.”

“ It's a Polish name meaning serene, shining light, or sun ray.”

“ Joshy, tell me the name!”

“Halina.”

You smiled immediately, you imagined your daughter, beautiful brown eyes with a smile just like her father's, Halina.

“It's beautiful. I love it babe.”

“ You do?”

You turned to face him,” I really do. It's a beautiful name, you picked it with so much care. And besides, you're going to call her Sunshine anyway.”

He chuckles, “ You know, you're probably right.”

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Months slipped by in the blink of an eye, quicker than you had ever thought possible. Your bump had grown substantially, causing every other part of your body to be in pain. Your hands flew to your back as you pushed yourself the best you could to stand from where you were perched on the couch. Josh's eyes never leaving your form as you waddled somewhat uncomfortably down the hall.

“You okay?” He called, flashbacks of the night prior dancing in his head, not wanting to upset you if you weren’t in need of help.

“Just wanna bath is all.” You called back, trying to stretch out your sore body the best you could. In the blink of an eye Josh was at your side, helping to lower your body down onto the closed toilet lid before he went to work drawing you a bath. You watched on with adoration in your eyes, the man taking the best care of you.

“I can do it Yknow.” You grumbled, fighting for every ounce of independence you could still grasp onto. He rolled his eyes softly, pouring a cap full of your favorite bubble bath into the stream of the faucet.

“I know you can but I don’t want you to. C’mon, up.” He chucked, holding his hands out for you to grab and hoisted yourself up with his help. Josh made quick work of stripping your clothes, making a point to fold them neatly and place them on the toilet lid - the comfy clothes being the only clothing you felt comfortable in.

Josh helped you step into the tub, holding your hand securely. A soft sigh slipping past your lips as you lowered yourself gently into the scalding hot water. Josh sat on the floor next to the tub, resting his arms against the cool porcelain and dipped the tips of his fingers just below the waters surface.

“How was your day, darlin?” Josh drawled, his mind wandering as you told him about the chores you completed and how many times Halina damn near made you throw up. His eyes remained locked on your side profile and he bent forward slightly, plucking the folded wash cloth off of the side of the tub and dunked it into the water, laying the now warm cloth over your bump. A sigh escaped you as the cloth warmed your skin and you reveled in every palm full of water he trickled over the cloth.

“She’s kicking, she likes that.” You cooed, reaching out to wrap your hand around Joshs’ wrist and placed it flat against your bump, giggling as she kicked right in the middle of his palm.

“You kicking daddy, Sunshine? Don’t worry I’m keeping mama warm so you stay warm.” He chuckled, rubbing his hand over the washcloth to create a little more warmth. Your eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the way Joshs hand felt against you.

“You’ll never guess what Sam did today,” Josh started, slowly spiraling into a soft rambling about his day at the studio. Sam’s shenanigans causing giggles all around while Jake - ever the business man - lost his mind because they were too busy playing around. Your head started to twinge, too many thoughts whirling about it, and Joshs voice wasn’t helping your head.

“I love you babe, but can you just shut the hell up for one god damned minute?!” Your voice was louder than you meant for it to be, the words echoing off of the bathroom walls as they slipped past your lips. Joshs eyes grew wide and his shoulders trembled as he pulled back slightly and he averted his gaze to the water. He continued to gently trickle warm water onto the washcloth covering you.

“I… I’m sorry.” You mumbled, your bottom lip matching the quiver of your voice as your eyes filled with tears. Pushing yourself to sit you turned your head in his direction and placed a soft kiss to his forehead. Josh nodded slightly and pulled back, reaching over for the hand towel hanging over the corner of the sink to dry his hands.

“It’s okay, sweetness. I’ll go clean up and leave you alone for a bit if that’s what you want.” A soft but sad smile spread across his face as he reached out and placed a reassuring hand against your back. You shook your head vehemently, reaching out your damp hands to curl them into the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer to you.

“No! I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap. My head it… there was just a really sharp pain went through my head and it felt like an ice pick.” You couldn’t help the tears that spilled over your eyelids as you buried your face in his chest.

“What do you need, sweets? Do you want to get out and go lay down? Do you wanna stay here? Do you want me to leave you alone?” He kept his voice soft and sweet, knowing she needed the gentle nature rather than his upset.

“Can you help me get out and maybe cuddle with me? Please?” You bottom lip jutted out in a pout as you held your hands out in his direction, a silent request for his help. He nodded again and stood, grasping onto your hands to steady you as you stood and wobbly stepped out of the tub. Josh wrapped the towel he had set aside gently against your shoulders and stepped aside for you to leave the bathroom.

A sad sigh slipped past your lips as you perched yourself on the foot of the bed, your eyes never leaving Josh as he made his way over to your nightstand and grabbed your favorite lotion. Tears prickled the backs of yours eyes as you realized that he was going to rub your legs, lotioning up the already soft skin - something you felt you didn’t deserve after snapping.

“You don’t have to.” You mumbled, wrapping the towel you held even tighter around your shoulders. Josh shook his head gently and made his way over to you, tossing the bottle of lotion down next to you and let the rest of your clothes fall to the bed, holding your shirt in his hand.

“Here, let me help you before you get cold.” He mumbled, crumpling the shirt up in his hands and slipped it easily down over your head, pulling it out so you could slip your arms into the sleeves. Your bottom lip sat in an almost permanent pout, watching as he knelt down in front of you and pressed a soft kiss to your bump, running the hands he had just covered in lotion over your now stretch mark covered skin.

He sat back against his feet, letting his hands trail slowly down the length of your thighs, massaging the taut and overworked muscles. Your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his hands on you and you leaned back against your elbows, supporting your upper body weight as he slowly worked his way down the length of your legs.

Josh fought the urge to press his lips against every inch of skin he could reach, opting to kiss up the length of your inner thigh. Your arms had finally given out and you laid spread eagle on the bed, exposing your center to his hungry eyes. He caved in to the primal urge burning deep in his chest and pressed a soft kiss to your core, pulling the softest gasp from your throat.

He placed a kiss against your clit, pulling back just enough to sneak his tongue out and caress the sensitive bud of nerves with the tip of it, causing your legs to jolt. A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest as he slowly began to work over your core, paying close attention to your clit. Your hand snaked down towards where he was nestled and you threaded your fingers through his hair, holding him in place as he worked his tongue in tight figure eight patterns around your clit. The build up in your stomach tightened quickly, the sensitivity from the hot water you had been soaking in still clinging to the bundle of nerves.

With one flat lick of his tongue from your entrance to your clit, your legs wrapped around his head of their own accord as the band in your stomach snapped and your orgasm washed over you in waves of pleasure. A soft smile spread across your face as he removed himself from your core and wiped his mouth on the towel you had once been wrapped up in. Josh made quick work of slipping your underwear and pants back onto your body and stood, holding his hands out to help you sit back up.

“Scoot up, let’s get some rest, okay?” Josh cooed, place a soft kiss to your waiting lips. You did as you were told and slowly made your way up to the the top of the bed. Josh made his way around to his side and laid down, reaching his arm out for you. Slowly you curled up against his side and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his neck.

“I’m sorry for snapping.” You mumbled, fighting the new tears that were prickling at your eyes at the thought of yelling at him. Josh shook his head pressing a soft kiss to your temple.

“Shhh, get some sleep my girl, you need every wink you can get.”

With that you kept quiet as your breathing eventually evened out and you slipped into peaceful slumber while his fingertips traced patterns up and down your spine.

Fin.

Part 3.

#gvf #danny gvf #jake gvf #josh gvf #sam gvf #josh kiszka #gvf smut

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f4y3w00d5 · 18 days

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This case is making me so fucking angry. theyre using common transphobic language, and also theyre not even HIDING their BLATANT FUCKING TRANSPHOBIA-

Wanna see the poster that made me aware of this current bullshit going on?

The second paragraph. 'Roxy Tickle is a man that wants to be a woman.' Okay, well a simple google search says shes transgender. Going a bit more in depth? She has done Three years of hormone therapy and gender reaffirmation surgery. Like this isnt a transgender woman who has done nothing to change her identity, she's got surgery and 3 years of hormone therapy! And looking more into it? She has said;

"I am now legally a woman.

“I am already allowed to have a female gendered passport thanks to the letter from my GP confirming that they are treating me.

“I only have one step left - to update my birth certificate to say that I’m female.

“I needed two medical specialists saying they have seen my genitals and they both needed to sign a form in the presence of a JP.

"These are the most extreme levels of identity proof I’ve ever come across – to have to show your genitals to an MD is embarrassing to prove who you are. The documentation has all now been completed and I will mail it this weekend."

That was all 4 years ago. 7 years of this shit now. (as of today, april 11th, 2024)

And the poster still refers to her as a he?

And thats the picture they use. Now heres a better one.

That was deliberate. They used an unflattering photo of her, and a very flattering one of Sall, just to try and tip people to Salls side. Common marketing ploy.

More research shows that she now has her birth certificate identifying her as female.

And this isnt enough?

By her logic, shouldnt a trans man be allowed on giggle, no matter how far through transitioning they are, purely because they were born female? I get the feeling that she would say no. This is simply blatant transphobia. Personally, I cant do anything, being a minor. I'm not sure how far this case is along, seeing as it started 2 days ago.

But I simply cant let this slide. When I saw it this afternoon it made me so fucking angry.

This case could change a lot of things. Make a lot of changes that make everything far worse for non cis gendered people, potentially influencing things world wide

#roxy tickle #roxanne tickle #giggles for girls #sall grover #transphobia #trans rights #australia #australia politics #tw transphobia

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sortagaysortahigh · 2 years

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Sex Education P.3 | Steve Harrington

a/n: yall posting this shit was the most annoying experience ever and tumblr and I have genuine beef, but its okay because hopefully she’ll post <3. Also I decided that this series is going to be 5 parts, and this is the longest part thus far because it’s the “turning point” in the series :)

Summary: No one ever assumes they’d develop feelings for their childhood best friend who also happened to be their friend with benefits, nor do they expect to end up jealous over mindless flirting.

Warnings: SMUT, cussing, spelling and grammar errors, talks about kinks, mentions of: bondage, handcuffs, voyeurism, mutual masturbation, and gagging, actual P in V unprotected smut, creampie, rough sex, spanking, fingering, oral (f receiving, m giving), spitting, hair pulling, back shots, missionary, jealous sex, degradation, praise kinks, choking, overstimulation, Dom!Steve, Sub!(ish)Reader

Word Count: 12k

Series Masterlist

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

(I just really like this gif honestly, like it gives bestfriend steve vibes)

Friday came faster than expected, and of course, something had to go wrong the day of Y/n’s big exam. She’d made it to the college early-leaving thirty minutes prior to when she usually left. The forty-five minute drive filled with her loud sing-a-long to Blondie’s The Hunter album as she sped down the highway. Then she got to school, parking outside of her academic building then rushing inside-hoping to get some kind of last minute cramming in as she found herself running up two flights of steps-anxiety fueling her swift steps.

By the time she’d sat in her usual classroom she was slightly out of breath, opting to sit in the front row to the left side of the room. Immediately going through her bag-then realizing that the flashcards Steve helped her make-flashcards which included important vocabulary, structures, authors, and anything else she found essential from the past half-semester-were still sitting at home on her nightstand-right next to a sleeping Steve Harrington.

The same Steve Harrington that had spent the past two days at her house, granted the two went to work together yesterday-then he found himself back at her house, helping her study until he decided that she deserved some ‘stress relief’ which in turn led to his head between her thighs for nearly two hours. Her thighs and calves were still store from the feeling of both curling her toes constantly and Steve holding her in place while she begged and whined for more.

She was currently in a state of panic, looking down at his watch that he insisted she take for good luck today-seeing that she had twenty minutes before the class started-then she rushed out, finding the nearest phone and dialing her home number-praying Steve would answer.

“Hello?” She tried to ignore the deep rasp in his voice-he was clearly still sleeping-but it still sent a small shiver down her spine. It’s been happening a lot lately, he’d say things or give her certain looks and they’d somehow make her heart race. But now wasn’t a time to focus on whatever that meant.

“Steve! I left the stupid flashcards there and I’m taking this test in-” she glanced down at the watch “-in seventeen minutes and I’m literally about to vomit because I was gonna try and cram before but now I don’t even know what I’m gonna do or if I’m gonna pass-this class literally determines if I have to extend or not because the class I’m taking next semester is only offered in the spring and this midterm is worth more of my grade than the final which is total bullshit but holy shit-”

As she rambled Steve sat up in her bed-phone in his right hand held up to his face while he ran a hand through his hair-the comforter now sinking past his bare chest to his waist.

“Y/n! Y/n!” the silence on the other end of the line caused him to let out a sigh of relief “you’re gonna do great okay? You know everything from this class-you need to stop doubting yourself. Cramming was never going to help you because it doesn’t ever work for you-it hasn’t worked since like freshman year of high school. You need to take a deep breath-” he paused for a second-his gaze now focused on her messy desk-alongside the few photos pinned to her corkboard above it-a small smile on his face when he spotted a photo strip of the two of them from the fair in tenth grade.

She took a deep breath, leaning against the wall next to the phone-a hand on her forehead-thumb and index finger massaging her temples while she stared at the ceiling.

“This is a big deal Steve-I can’t just relax-I’m like a ball of anxiety and nerves and-” he cut her off mid-sentence “-and nothing. It’s okay to be nervous about your exam but you can’t dwell on something like flashcards-you’ve been studying for this for like two weeks-you color coded all of your textbooks and notes Y/n-you know everything already-you’re overthinking it”

She groaned, and on the other end of the phone Steve smiled, shaking his head while rolling his eyes-she’d always done this. Everytime a big test was coming up she’d panic about it and rush to sit and study until there was nothing left-then she’d panic more until the day of the test when she usually aced it-occasionally getting a B-but even then she’d never failed.

That was something he admired about Y/n, she’d go through hell and back if it meant being successful-and her version of success was always her own. She never compared her successes to other people’s because as she always said ‘Steve success isn’t measured by other assholes-it’s measured by you. How the hell are you supposed to be your dad’s version of successful when you don’t even like your dad-you’ll never live up to whatever he wants you to be because that’s not what you wanna be’.

He found himself biting his bottom lip and smiling while she spoke to him.

“Okay-sure you’re right I might be overthinking it-but this shit is genuinely so stressful and what if my professor thinks my answers sound stupid? Then what? I can’t sit here and look stupid-God I’m gonna barf” he laughed at her, all the while she groaned again, staring down at his watch, seventeen minutes turned into ten and now she was biting her thumb nail-the leather band slightly slipping along her wrist.

“You won’t sound stupid, now go drink some water and kick your tests ass.” she sighed “if you say so Harrington” he nodded his head-the same dopey smile on his face “what time are you coming home?”

His words made her smile, both eyebrows raised and she was positive if she’d been anywhere but here-or even if she was sitting down-she’d be kicking her feet back and forth. She felt like a thirteen year old getting called pretty by a boy for the first time.

“Home? So now you live with me?” he scoffed, of course she couldn’t see the blush on his face-thankfully “I mean this is your house isn’t it-and considering your parents don’t get back til Monday-I’ll stick around. Besides it’s better than Casa Harrington-home of the assholes”

She smiled, nodding her head while twirling the metallic curly phone cable in her hand “Guess you aren't asshole after all. Anyways, my class ends in two hours-then I’m meeting with my advisor so like another half hour-plus the drive back home-basically three or four hours”

“You’re gonna crush your test, now hang up the phone Y/l/n” she scoffed, holding in a giggle-who the hell was she becoming. “Uh huh Harrington, I’ll see you when I get back” she bit her bottom lip “Drive safe baby, bye” with that the two hung up the phone. She couldn’t stop the heat enveloping her features at the pet name-of course she was used to it when they had sex-but outside of that-he’d never really casually called her that. But it made her heart race and she couldn’t stop her smile as she walked back to her classroom.

Steve however hung up the phone then groaned-two hands covering his face at the realization that he’d let the ‘baby’ slip out. Of course he started to overthink it the second he said it-mostly because she had no reaction to it-and of course it wasn’t like he could see her through the phone. Hopefully in the future they’d invent video calls or something for people.

He laid back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling decorated in small stars-the same stars he’d called childish the first time he’d gone over to her house when they were twelve. His parents had been late picking him up from swim practice-of course he said he’d just take the bus home or figure something out-but her mother insisted he came over and she’d call his parents for him.

By the time he got to their house he’d realized two things-Y/n’s mom was a lot cooler than he’d thought-granted she always showed up on time for practices, never missed a meet, and of course encouraged her daughter to speak her mind-which in turn led to a few altercations with other teams during the season. However she was genuinely nice to him and even as she drove-she still listened to him as he spoke-occasionally making eye contact through the rear view mirror and nodding her head.

The second thing he realized was that Y/n was really pretty-he’d never really gotten to see her sit in silence and just listen before that point-and as the golden hues from the sun outside hit her skin while she sat in the back seat with Steve-he found himself staring at her-the two holding eye contact while he spoke. He just assumed she’d always been confident in herself and a good listener based on the way she looked so relaxed and invested in his story-but even as a twelve year old she made him blush.

When they got to the house her mother called his mother’s office-leaving a message with their home address alongside the fact that Steve was there hanging out with Y/n and staying for dinner. She was quick to drag Steve down the hall to her room, forcing him to sit on her bed while she blow dried his hair-which she’d been wanting to do for some time-he even argued with her before she started. However, at the mention of Y/n’s mother making him dinner-he agreed.

Even at twelve he had great hair, his father always forcing the need to look presentable down his throat. She stood on her knees behind him-the bright pink blow drier in her right hand while she ran her left hand through his hair as she dried it-giggling at the way he protested. Then as she finished and turned off the blow dryer he laid back-purposefully pushing her backwards-nearly knocking her off the bed-which only made the both of them burst into laughter.

“Are you afraid of the dark? What's up with the baby stickers” she scoffed, sitting up and shoving him over while rolling her eyes “oh shut it poodle” with that she stood up, grabbing a compact off of her dresser-throwing it at him with a smirk on her face-which in turn led to his jaw dropping as he stared at his reflection-his hair overly voluminous and framing his head like a bad bowl cut.

The memory made Steve smile, eyes tracing each star formation-after she’d shoved him she eventually told him that she’d placed them in the shape of constellations-showing all of them to him before her mother called the two for dinner. That was the day he realized that he wanted to be her friend for a long time. She was caring, smart, she was honest-overly honest sometimes, she definitely had a nerdy side to her, her family genuinely cared for him, and she was the only person he knew he could be himself around.

After that day he started coming around more and more, her mother offering him rides home sometimes-the first time he slept over was during their eighth grade school year. The two had to do their science fair project together and once it hit nine o’clock her mother insisted he just spent the night-so he did. The both of them eventually fell asleep on the living room sofa after watching Star Trek-which Y/n had to explain to him.

He had no idea why he was reminiscing about their friendship-he also had no idea why calling her baby just felt right-granted when they had sex he knew she liked the pet names-a smile on her face while she bit her lip-the thought made his cock stir which only led to him groaning again. He’s her best friend, granted their relationship was starting to shift-he knew it was there and maybe she just didn’t notice it-or maybe she didn’t care-but there was something different now.

At first he summed it up to ‘well she’s seen my dick and I’ve fucked her so that must be it’ but the more he thought about it-the more he realized this wasn’t just about sex-actually it wasn’t about sex at all. She made his heart race in ways it hadn’t before-well ways it hadn’t in a long time.

He admittedly had a crush on her when they were in middle school, of course by freshman year he claimed it was gone-and then as he rose up the ranks in popularity because of sports-he dragged her along with him. Then by their junior year he was King Steve-he could get with any girl he wanted-so the crush on Y/n was long forgotten. She still argued with him in the hallways, constantly cursing him out and telling him to ‘humble yourself Harrington! High Schools not the real world jackass!.

She always stuck around though, she was there during his first genuine heartbreak-when Nancy Wheeler cheated on him after telling him she didn’t love him. He was at the Y/l/n household crying-which he would never tell anyone else about-and Y/n was holding him-rubbing circles into his back while making small sarcastic jokes and remarks to cheer him up.

Ironically that’s around the time that a very broken and bloody Steve later showed up at her doorstep surrounded by Mike Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, Max Mayfield, and Lucas Sinclair-kids she thought he was babysitting-and as she was patching Steve up they all explained everything.

Of course the girl didn’t believe them-even when Steve told her that it was all true she simply scoffed and mumbled something along the lines of ‘Hargrove really beat the shit out of you huh?’ However, when they all took her to meet El a few days later-the girl with supposed ‘super powers’ and after seeing Nancy’s tape-she quickly learned that they were all telling the truth. The entire drive back to her house she kept rambling to Steve and asking him questions even he couldn’t answer.

She always did that, the girl had little to no filter-so anything that came to mind would be said. If it was a question, a comment, a concern, a rude statement, or an obnoxious opinion-she’d let it be heard. A lot of people hated that about her-it was the reason she’d gotten into so many arguments with Carol Perkins, always telling the girl that she was ‘an airhead with Daddy’s money’ alongside comments like ‘don’t be upset because you didn’t make the cheer squad Carol, I’m sure you can shake your ass for some dumb jock and he’ll pay attention to you’.

Yeah, she was brutal. But he loved that about her.

Then it all dawned upon him-he had a thing for his best friend-of course it broke the final rule of their ‘contract’ but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. As he stared at her ceiling he decided he’d just ignore it, hoping that things would be fine between the two-and that she wouldn’t catch on.

He spent the next few hours getting ready to face her-hell he’d even cleaned her room and did her laundry-blushing as he fumbled her panties into the washer and dryer, then he all but moaned at the sight of her vibrator in the back of her panty drawer-a rosy blush overtaking his features while he stared at the baby blue bullet-then at the sound of a car pulling up and parking he slammed the drawer shut-fumbling to fold the rest of her clothes.

She whistled as she walked into the house, a triumphant smile on her face because not only did she complete her exam early-her professor spoke to her after she’d turned it in-stating that she had the highest grade in the class. Then she met with her advisor who said she was on track to graduate a semester early-and traffic on the way home wasn’t bad whatsoever.

He walked out of her room, standing in the hallway with a clean shirt thrown over his shoulder while he held her basket-once she glanced at him she couldn’t stop the laugh.

“You look so domestic Stevie-it’s adorable. You’re just missing your six kids” he scoffed at that, rolling his eyes while walking back into her room once he realized she was heading in that direction.

“For your information-I got bored” she nodded her head as she placed her backpack onto her desk chair-glancing around at the now neatly organized room-her bed was even made-Blueberry sat in the very front. “So you cleaned my room? And did my laundry? Are you pursuing a career in housekeeping?” He rolled his eyes at her, watching as she pulled out the notebook their ‘contract’ was written in-followed by her pink pen.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something serious though” he nodded his head slowly, taking her folded shirt off his shoulder-tossing it in the basket before placing it on the floor then sitting down. His eyes never left her as she kicked her shoes off then sat on the bed criss-crossed across from him. She then turned the pages to the back of their contract page, placing the notebook on one of her knees as she uncapped the pen-his gaze shifting to her bare legs-spotting the bite mark on her right inner thigh from last night-he tried to hold in a groan at the way her skirt rode up.

“You look nervous-loosen up Harrington it’s not like I’m breaking up with you” he scoffed, craning his neck back slightly “as if you’d ever want to break up with me” she glanced up at him, brows raised “aren’t you just a catch” then the two started laughing at one another, Y/n reaching over and shoving him lightly before focusing on the notebook.

He watched as she wrote out ‘Kinks’ then two categories titled ‘Y/n’ and ‘Steve’, he blinked a few times, clearing his throat while licking his lips, catching her attention again.

“Steve-if we’re actually gonna do the whole ‘trying new things out’ part of this then we have to talk about everything prior to y’know having sex” he nodded his head, scratching the back of his neck-visibly tensing up at her words. “Can you stop overthinking for five seconds Harrington! You look so stiff, relax”

“That’s easy for you to say-you’re you!” she scoffed “and what’s that supposed to mean Steve?” he shrugged “this doesn’t bother you-like you don’t have any reactions to us having sex-or like changes or anything” she placed the notebook to the side, getting on her knees and practically waddling towards steve before grabbing his face in both of her hands-his lips parted while he stared at her in awe.

“Just because I don’t act like weird or whatever because we have sex doesn’t mean I don’t have any reactions or whatever to it Steve-I clearly understand that our friendship is gonna slightly change because of the sex-you’re still my best friend jackass” she spoke slightly slower than usual, eyes widening just the smallest bit to emphasize her point while she held eye contact with him. “Now stop being a weirdo so we can talk about our kinks mister I wanna do anal”

He blinked a few times, shoving her back slightly-causing her to let out a small ‘yelp’ as she fell backwards-her body hitting the mattress and a series of loud laughs and giggles left her lips as her head slightly hung off the bed. She was thankful that she had a Queen sized bed-otherwise even at the diagonal angle she was in-she’d probably fallen off the bed.

He was blushing, his entire neck was on fire-and he was blushing the same way that Dustin used to blush when Y/n would talk to him-the boys crush on Y/n was almost adorable, but eventually he told Steve that he’d gotten over ‘his girl’-which of course had Steve questioning everything the younger boy was saying in the moment-however now when he thought about it he knew that Y/n was inevitably going to look like his girl to everyone who didn’t understand their friendship.

But he liked that, he wanted her to be his girl-but that wasn’t happening any time soon, so instead of sitting like a statue he moved-placing his hands on her knees which were nearly eye level with him-then he parted her legs-looking at her while she awkwardly strained her neck to look at him-a goofy smile still on her face.

“You’re a weirdo Harrington-now help me up” he nodded his head, grabbing her outstretched hands then pulling her upwards. After she got situated-scooching closer to Steve this time-she grabbed the notebook and her pen.

“So what exactly are your kinks?” she scoffed, glancing at him “uh uh-you can go first” he rolled his eyes, pursing his lips slightly “after I did all of this cleaning for you? I still have to spill my deepest secrets first?” she smacked his arm lightly “I already know your deepest darkest secrets-now tell me your kinks! Other than butt stuff-I already know that one” he rolled his eyes, stifling a laugh.

“Are you ever gonna get over that?” she shook her head “nope, I think it’s funny-as childish as that is” she now glanced at him, raising a brow expectantly “choking” she nodded, writing it down and in turn she wrote it down on her side too, earning a curious look from him.

“That’s good to know” she scoffed “shush-what’s next pretty boy?” he bit his lip “uh being complimented?” she rolled her eyes “it’s called a praise kink” he nodded slowly-watching as she wrote it on both sides-then she followed that with degradation before elbowing him-motioning for him to continue.

“Uh-well I er-I like to spit” she blinked a few times, brows knit together while glancing at him “elaborate” he bit his bottom lip for a second-feeling the familiar heat in his face “Like in girls mouths-and uh-on them” she slowly nodded her head, slightly confused but also intrigued “so like, you just do it? Is it like a heat of the moment thing? Or do you just-do it?” he shrugged.

“I guess it depends on the girl-you into that?” she shrugged “I dunno? Never really thought about it until now-I guess I’m always down to try something new?” he bit his bottom look-the two holding eye contact-his eyes flickering to her lips for a second before moving back up. Then he shifted his body slightly-to face her before bringing a hand to her cheek-gently caressing it before placing his thumb on her bottom lip-tugging at it.

“You wanna try it?” she felt heat rushing through her face-and she knew he’d be able to feel it radiating from her cheeks-his voice slightly dropped as his gaze was held on her lips. “Y-yeah” he smirked at her stuttering, moving his hand to her chin-tilting her head up slightly.

“Open up for me princess” the pet name sent a shiver down her spine as she obeyed him, parting her lips “tongue out-good girl” his praises went straight to her core-she was positive he knew exactly what he was doing-and truth be told-he did. He then leaned over her slightly-spitting in her mouth-and it was almost an instinct for him to lean closer-tongue against hers as he pulled her into a sloppy kiss.

As much as she wanted to keep kissing him she pulled away for air first-she knew she was blushing-the heat enveloping her face had her biting her lip and looking away from Steve-staring down at the notebook. He smirked at her reaction, moving back the smallest bit-still in her personal space as he watched her write it on the paper-on his side she simply wrote ‘spitting’, on her side she wrote it with a few question marks.

“You okay?” she shushed him “you know what you’re doing Harrington-quit it” he couldn’t hold in his laugh at her reaction “I just had to test a theory is all” she shushed him again, this time smacking his chest without looking up at him while she wrote ‘hair pulling’ on her side-and based on what she’d learned from their past experiences-it reflected on his too. She then followed her side with ‘overstimulation’

“So you’re into being fucked til you cry?” she choked slightly, her eyes widening and as she finished writing the ‘n’ she accidentally extended the ending of the letter. “Jesus Christ Steve” he nudged her slightly “oh c’mon you won’t even look at me? Really? Are you embarrassed again?” she scoffed.

“Shut up! Just tell me what to add to the list Harrington” he hummed, raising a brow “Finish your side first” the slight dominance in his tone made her eyes widened-and she finally looked at him-processing how close their faces were “Quit it Harrington” he bit his lip, tilting his head in faux confusion “quit what princess?” she clenched her jaw.

“You know what you’re doing!” he smiled “is it working” she shoved him back-pointing a singular finger at him while squinting her eyes slightly “we need to finish this you horndog!” he smirked, nodding his head “so it is working?” she scoffed “list first, then maybe if we have time we can fuck okay? Shit you’re such a perv!” he smiled “but you like it don’t you” she shushed him again-rolling her eyes while trying to hold in a smile.

“I was serious though, finish your side so I know what I’m working with” she scoffed “confident much? A little humility would benefit you” he nodded his head “you’ve been saying that for years at this point” she scoffed “maybe if you listened then I wouldn’t have to repeat it so often” he slowly nodded his head, a singular brow raised at that “eh-you’re right, now get to writing princess”

“Quit it!” she shoved him again “that one wasn’t even that sexual!” she scoffed, glancing at him “really? That sexual? You ass” he shrugged, pointing to the notebook with an expectant look on his face. She groaned, shifting away from him-trying to block his view-the entire time he moved behind her-glancing over her shoulders as she wrote ‘mirrors, rough sex (situational), breeding??, voyeurism, bondage??, spanking, edging??’.

“You have a breeding kink? That’s hot” her eyes widened at his question, heart practically beating out of her chest “shut up!” he laughed at her tensing up “You have to get comfortable saying things out loud y’know-that’s the whole point of us having sex” she groaned “that’s easy for you to say-you aren’t the one feeling like a whore writing this shit down” he laughed at her embarrassed tone.

“I mean-I’m gonna fuck you like a whore apparently-so it’s not far off?” she elbowed him “Steve!” he rolled his eyes “okay, okay I’ll cut it out” she nodded her head, before adding more things to the list-which only made Steve groan as he read them ‘gagging, crying??’ she shoved him back while she rushed to scribble the next one down ‘thighs’, although he still read it, his brows raised at that one-and he had to admit his cock was twitching in his pants.

“Finished?” she nodded her head, handing him the notebook-too embarrassed to actually face him. He quickly scribbled down ‘breeding, masterbating together, edging, blindfolds, handcuffs?? (sounds hot), biting, pussy eating’ he paused for a second “what’s voyeurism?” she groaned “when you like watching” his brows raised in surprise “learn something new about you every day Y/n” then he wrote it down on his side followed by ‘being in charge’, then ‘submissive shit’.

With that he handed her the notebook-watching as she read through the list, brows raising and eyes widening.

“So can we have sex now? Wait-first how was your exam” she placed the notebook on the bed between them-alongside her pen-her face now in her hands as she tried to calm herself down-she was both nervous and really turned on. He shifted on the bed, now sitting in front of her-gently grabbing her wrists and pulling them away from her face “you okay?” she nodded her head, avoiding eye contact.

“What’s wrong?” she scoffed “that’s my line Harrington” he nodded his head “I’m not the one nervous and stiff-y’know we don’t have to do it all at once-take it day by day-or week by week if you want” she bit her bottom lip, lightly gnawing on it “I’ve just never told anyone that stuff-y’know” he nodded slowly “not even Ryan?” she rolled her eyes “Ryan couldn’t even make me cum, and he was such an egocentric asshole-just cause he was decent at football”

“So you're just into sleeping with assholes then?” he wiggled his brows when she glanced at him, she was quick to roll her eyes-smiling at his words “are you implying you’re an asshole Steve?” he shrugged “seems that way sometimes” she laughed at him “you’re not an asshole-anymore at least” he smiled at that.

“Okay now, we can focus on this-” he grabbed the notebook and closed it “-later, tell me about your exam pretty girl” she rolled her eyes, her smile evident while he stood up from the bed-placing her notebook on her desk before making it back to his original spot on the bed-scooting back against her iron wire headboard-which had pillows in front of it-then he extended his arms out-waiting for her to slide into them.

She grabbed her stuffed animal, holding it as she moved back-leaning against Steve’s side.

“I’m pretty sure I passed it?, found out I have the highest grade in the class-which was kind of shocking because I’ve been struggling my ass off.”

She spent the next hour telling Steve everything about her exam, then about her conversation with her advisor and going into detail on her entire morning, all the while he nodded his head, listening to each and every word she said, free hand rubbing circles into her right thigh-which ended up being draped over his left leg.

Then her alarm clock went off at one-thirty, signaling that the both of them had to be at work in half an hour-which only made Y/n groan, rolling her eyes while Steve reached over and turned it off.

“I hate our job” he nodded his head “I mean-after we get off-we could always-y’know revisit the book” she bit her lip, glancing over at him “okay” with that he nodded his head-and without a second thought he leaned in-placing a gentle kiss to her lips-and when she kissed him back he felt like his heart was doing backflips in his chest-their moment cut short when she moved away, placing Blueberry down on the bed.

“Can you drive today Steve? I really hate driving on days I have class” he nodded his head “that’s uh-fine-yeah totally fine” she smiled, grabbing her tote bag from her desk chair-switchin her wallet and keys from her backpack into that bag-all the while he stared at her, eyes tracing along her figure-staring like a lovesick puppy.

Well that was until she put her vans back on, then turned to look at him, an expectant expression on her face “c’mon Harrington, shoes on-I wanna grab Robin something on the way since she’s been working the morning shift” he furrowed his brows “since when am I your taxi?” she shrugged “since you started eating my pussy on a regular basis” he choked on air at her comment-it was clear her confidence was back-but he hadn’t expected that one.

“Vulgar!” she scoffed “coming from you? You’re a literal perv, now hurry up!” he groaned, getting out of her bed. The two of them scrambled around the house for a few more minutes, then they were off. Y/n now sat in his passenger seat as she went through the different tapes in his glove compartment, raising a brow at the Madonna one while holding it up.

“Are you a material girl, Harrington?” he rolled his eyes “I got that for you y’know” she furrowed her brows, glancing at the tape-then back at him. “You always hum the songs on that album-and you always criticize what I play in the car-so I got that one to play when you’re here” she blinked a few times, trying to ignore the warm feeling in her chest while she popped it out of its case-then replaced the tape in his stereo with it.

He smiled when she played the tape, the upbeat tune of ‘Material Girl’ playing through the car while she looked out the window-based on her posture he knew she was trying to hide her smile-she always did that when people remember small things about her. It was practically the girl’s love language-granted he didn’t really understand the whole love language thing-but he knew nothing made her happier than that.

He was falling deeper and deeper into his ‘thing’ for her, and he just wanted to push it away but the more he thought about it-the worse it got. So he opted to simply ignore it.

Which he later found was a lot harder than he thought.

Several hours had passed since they’d gotten to work, the two worked until close at nine tonight-close used to mean ten-however after a lot of arguing with their manager-they’d gotten it to nine. It was now closer to seven thirty and the traffic within the store started to pick up, Y/n worked the register while Robin worked on helping people with recommendations and going to the back to find any extra copies of tapes, and Steve worked on reshelving and talking to customers around the store.

It was their usual system-dividing and conquering as they went.

However when one of her ex-boyfriend's friends walked through the front door Steve immediately stiffened up-eyeing him as he wandered through the new releases section-then the tall blonde made his way to the front desk where Y/n was currently on the phone.

He waited until she hung up, then from what Steve could see he started flirting with her-and he was laying it on thick-he was too irritated to even acknowledge the guy’s lame pick up lines and overused compliments-all he could focus on was the way Y/n laughed and smiled, rolling her eyes in a playful manner, twirling a piece of her blown out hair around her finger.

She had a wide smile on her face as she rolled her eyes-clearly falling for his shitty flirting. Then he leaned across the counter slightly, closer to her-now twirling one of his fingers around a strand of her hair-the motion lighting a fire of jealousy in Steve’s entire body-to the point that he was completely ignoring a woman asking him for his help-too focused on the way Y/n let that douchebag touch her.

He finally recognized him-Richard Miles-it made sense that his name was Richard, he was a real dickhead. Steve mumbled under his breath about standards while gripping the tape in his hand so hard that his knuckles were whitening-the sound of snapping and a hand being waved in his face finally breaking his trance.

“Uh sorry-ya how can I help you ma’am?” the older woman nodded her head, a tight lipped smile on her face as she glanced over towards Y/n-then back at Steve “I understand that young love can be complicated, but please focus on your job kid-can you help me find a copy of Back to the Future? My grandson has been asking about seeing it” he nodded his head, motioning for her to follow behind him.

Meanwhile Y/n was still giggling at Rich’s jokes, gently swatting his hand away from her hair before leaning back, her hands now on the edge of the counter.

“Sorry Rich-no can do-Robin’s off limits” he scoffed, raising both brows “seriously? I’ve been trying to ask her out forever-she just doesn’t notice. Y’know I have English with her? She doesn’t even acknowledge me half the time-and we sit right next to each other!” she laughed at that, rolling her eyes, shaking her head.

“I can’t help you Rich, the heart wants what it wants-but sometimes it’s just not in the cards” he knit his brows together, running a hand through his tousled blonde hair. “I’m gonna act like I got that card thing-but you really can’t help me-not even for the sake of old times?” she sighed, pursing her lips inward while shaking her head-she knew why Robin didn’t pay him any mind-and it was never her place to tell anyone that. When Robin wanted to let her truth be known-she would. For now Y/n would be a supportive friend.

“Not even for old times” he sighed, leaning over again-toying with her hair. He’d always been a flirt-that was just Rich, he was a natural flirt and it was simply a part of his personality. She didn’t mind it, the two were actually good friends prior to her messy breakup-then he had to let her know that for the sake of his spot on the team-he had to distance himself from her. At first she was angry that her ex managed to break her friendships apart, but she knew how much playing football actually meant to the blonde so she simply accepted the fate of her friendship.

However when Ryan went off to play football at some D3 school across the country she easily found her way back to her old social circles, when she wasn’t with Steve, Robin, and the kids-she was with them. No one ever really questioned it because she didn’t give them the chance to.

“Alright sweetheart-thanks for trying though” she nodded her head as he let go of her hair, offering a small smile-his gaze finding Robin as she walked around the store “you think if I go talk to her-she’ll listen” Y/n laughed at that, shaking her head “I don’t think so man-sorry” he nodded his head a few times, letting out a groan before handing her the copy of Risky Business

“Interesting choice” he shrugged “what can I say, my sister loves Tom Cruise” she laughed while scanning his membership card, then scanning the barcode of the movie with her hand scanner, typing a few things into the system. “That’ll be four-forty seven and it’s back in three days” he nodded his head, handing her a five dollar bill.

“Keep the change pretty girl” she scoffed, laughing at his terrible joke, however before Y/n could respond Steve was standing next to her behind the front desk, smacking a hand against the counter while grabbing his receipt and shoving it in his direction “have a great day Rich” the blonde slowly nodded while taking his receipt, walking away then turning back to wave at Y/n.

She glanced over at Steve-who was visibly annoyed “what the hell was that Harrington?” he clenched his jaw, taking a deep breath, now meeting her stare “nothing-just figured you could use a break from flirting with every guy within a ten foot radius” she blinked a few times, brows knit together-a wave of anger coursing through her entire body.

“Excuse me? What the fuck is your problem?” he rolled his eyes, nodding his head a few times “my problem? You-” before he could finish Robin cut them both off with a loud “Woah, woah, woah! Both of you calm down and go back to what you were doing! Argue later-we actually have to do our job today!” Y/n clenched her jaw-eyes slightly squinted as she stared at Steve-a look of pure anger on her face while he licked his lips, then offered Robin a tight lipped smile, his hands on his hips while he nodded his head again.

“Yeah-you heard that Y/l/n-we have a job to do so maybe don’t eye fuck any of our other customers” she scoffed “Are you serious? Fuck you Harrington” but before they could keep arguing Robin dragged Steve away-by his ear as if she was his mother. She smiled at some of the customers staring at the two while she dragged him to the far back corner near the Adult section partition.

She immediately smacked his arm “what is wrong with you?!” he rolled his eyes, shrugging his shoulders “nothing-nothings wrong” she raised both brows, staring expectantly at Steve “you’re joking right? You basically just called Y/n a whore? In the middle of our job?” he blinked a few times, finally unclenching his jaw and rolling his shoulders back.

“I didn’t call her a whore” Robin gave him a confused look “yes you did, you literally said she was eye fucking every male within a ten foot radius-your words not mine” she glanced back over at Y/n, who now forced a smile, but Robin easily noticed the way she angrily typed-fingers practically bashing into the keys-then she basically slammed the scanner down onto the counter while smacking the register shut.

“Yeah-she’s pissed.” he looked over at her, now feeling a pang of guilt in his chest-he didn’t know where that came from-he was angry at her-or maybe at Rich-he didn’t really know.

“I just-I dunno” Robin scoffed “you got jealous didn’t you! Oh my god I knew it!” he knit his brows together, glancing back at Robin “knew what?” she rolled her eyes “you have a thing for her! I knew people couldn’t just have sex and not be into each other” he shushed her, blinking rapidly-tilting his head slightly before glancing at the customers around the store. “I don’t have a thing for her”

Robin slowly nodded her head “so why’d you get jealous when Rich was flirting with her-by the way he flirts with everyone-that’s literally just how he acts. He flirts with our English teacher-and she’s like fifty Steve!” he blinked a few times, a dumbfounded look on his face as he opened and closed his lips a few times trying to figure out something to say-he couldn’t just outwardly admit that Robin was right-and he also felt bad for calling Y/n a whore-granted he’d definitely call her a whore in a different context.

“Are you gonna tell her?” he scoffed “Tell her what Rob? I-I don’t have a thing for her-she’s my friend okay-I just-I dunno” Robin slowly nodded, her brows still raised “well-whatever that was-figure your shit out because we have a job to do and I just wanna go home soon” he nodded his head.

For the next two hours Y/n ignored Steve-and even as the three of them were finishing closing she completely ignored him, walking right past him-taking the extra step away from him so their shoulders didn’t brush, taking the register key from his hands without even looking in his direction, organizing the desk while whistling to drown out the sounds of his forced apologies, and once Steve mumbled something about dropping Robin off she simply nodded her head.

She’d gone as far as to sit in the backseat-shimmying away from his line of vision, only saying bye to Robin and blowing her a kiss before staying seated in his back seat. He tried to convince her to move to the front-however she simply stared out of the window-an emotionless expression on her face which remained the same as he drove towards her house.

Once he parked the car she was quick to get out-slamming the door as hard as possible.

“Seriously y/n!” She flipped him off while she walked to her front door-pulling her keys out of her bag and unlocking it-she was planning on slamming the door in Steve’s face-however he managed to hold it open from behind her-following her inside despite her silent protest.

It was clear that she was still pissed.

“Can you at least let me apologize?” she scoffed, walking down the hallway and into her bedroom, kicking off her shoes and placing her bag on her desk before turning to face him. “Apologize? For which part? Being a total asshole to Rich for no fucking reason? Calling me a whore? Or maybe arguing with me at our fucking job? Hmm how about accusing me of eye fucking random fucking people?”

He blinked a few times-trying to ignore the way her irritation was turning him on, she spoke with an almost venomous tone-she hadn’t been this angry with him since their junior year homecoming-but good God was it doing things to him. He licked his lips while nodding his head.

“Maybe if you’d let me explain” she scoffed “explain what? Your bullshit fit of jealousy because oh wow I’m gonna go fuck any guy that pays any attention to me? What do you think I’m just fucking easy?” He tried to stay calm, but as she walked closer to him-her voice getting louder-he found it harder to keep himself calm and collected. He clenched his jaw, taking a deep breath.

“What the fuck do you even have to be jealous of? And don’t even try to lie to me Steve-I know you like the back of my fucking hand! You’re acting like I’m some precious little ‘off limits’ doll-you fucking asshole!” he scoffed, mumbling “you are off limits”-which only made her tilt her head, fists clenched at her sides as she stopped in her tracks-only a few steps away from him now.

“Excuse me?” he nodded his head “last time I checked, you’re not supposed to be fucking other people in the first place Princess” he walked right past her-grabbing the notebook off her desk-flipping it open “Huh-wow even wrote it yourself-what a smart girl you are” his sarcasm was pissing her off even more.

“I never even said I was gonna fuck him, you just assume that I whore myself out to anyone and everyone-huh maybe that’s why I even agreed to fuck you in the first place! How about I just call this off and go fuck Rich and everyone else in Hawkins over the age of eighteen” that caught his attention-now staring at her-the pit of jealousy ignited again.

“Since I’m such a fucking easy whore, maybe I’ll start with all of my exes team mates-let them pass me around for fun!” Her sarcasm was actually irritating him now, and truth be told, the thought of her with anyone but him set off a fire in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time. She shook her head, rolling her eyes at his silence.

“Get the fuck out Steve” he licked his lips at her words “Do you ever shut the fuck up?” she scoffed “excuse me?” he nodded his head, “I said, do-you-ever-shut-the-fuck-up” he paused between each word, the evident shift in his tone brought heat to her cheeks-but she ignored it-she was mad at him and she had to remember that as she stood her ground.

“You’re such a fucking asshole Steve!” he bit his lip, nodding his head twice “yeah? I’m the asshole-course I am pretty girl-or would you like it better if Rich called you that-maybe I should just keep calling you a whore-I know how much you like that” his dominant tone was evident while he stared at her-glancing down at the notebook in his hands before flipping a page-looking at the list they’d made earlier for a few seconds before meeting her stare again.

“Maybe I should fuck you like a whore-maybe then you’d shut the fuck up” she swallowed, trying to ignore the heat traveling through her body, forcing a scoff “your ego isn’t helping the situation Harrington” he licked his lips again-a smirk on his face at the way her thighs slightly clenched together-the black miniskirt she wore did nothing to hide that. His eyes slowly trailed her figure-and she was trying her best not to buckle under pressure-she was mad at him-she needed to remember that she was mad at him.

He took a few steps towards her until they were inches apart, the same smirk on his face “you can’t even hide it can you” he tried to place a hand on her cheek-but she immediately smacked it away while rolling her eyes “you can’t fuck your way out of everything Steve” he nodded his head “you’re right, but I can fuck you so good you stop entertaining every asshole that looks your way” his confidence sent shivers down her spine while he held eye contact with her.

“Why can’t you just admit that you’re a jealous asshole” he nodded his head “yea would that make my girl happy? If I said watching that blonde dickhead flirt you-and touch you-made me jealous? That I don’t like people touching what’s not theirs” her face was on fire at this point-and as he placed his hand on her jaw-she let him-her heart practically beating out of it’s chest-her anger slowly fading into need.

“If it’s too much-I want you to say peaches-cause they’re your favorite, isn’t that right princess” she nodded her head, lips parted as she stared at him-slowly forgetting why she was angry in the first place. The look he was giving her was enough to send her spiraling.

Steve on the other hand had a fire of jealousy running through his entire body-he was committed to making his point and solidifying it. He didn’t hesitate to pull her into a kiss, lips crashing together, Y/n easily melting against him-one of his hands now on the back of her head-hand in her hair while the other was holding onto her waist-pulling her even closer to him.

She moaned into the kiss when he lightly tugged on her hair-giving him the chance to slide his tongue into her mouth-and as he deepened the kiss she gripped his sides-tongue moving against his while she felt herself getting pushed into that familiar pool of Steve Harrington. The hand on her waist slipped down-and when he opted to bunch up her skirt-his hand grasping her ass before landing a hard smack to her skin she whimpered.

He didn’t stop there-as he kissed her he repeated the motion, massaging the soft flesh, harshly grasping it, then smacking it-earning a moan as she pulled away from the kiss-eyes still shut-forehead against his-lips parted with heavy breaths falling from them.

“Already desperate? Haven’t even gotten to the good part yet princess” she kept her eyes shut, now biting down on her bottom lip-she didn’t want to look at him-she felt the very familiar flush across her skin-heat enveloping her figure. Her resolve was so easily broken down it was as if she’d never even been mad at him.

“Open your eyes” she listened to him-her gaze focused on anything but his face as she pulled back slightly-she was embarrassed by how easily he could wrap her around his finger-then he smacked her ass again “Look at me princess” she did as told, now meeting his stare-his eyes were usually dark-but they looked almost black-lust overtaking them as he stared at her-his cocky smirk evident.

“You’re such a desperate slut y’know that?” she nodded her head “You just need attention is all” as he spoke he trailed the hand that was on the back of her head along her cheek-tugging at her bottom lip for a second before he harshly gripped her chin-cheeks slightly smushed together-lips parted as rushed breaths left them. “You’re usually such a good girl for me, perfect little princess, all As, studying so hard, never late for anything, always so focused, so helpful, so eager, keeps those legs nice and wide for me, so sweet-but look at you now-a bitchy little whore” his degrading tone had her panties practically soaked, her thighs pressed together, her grip on his sides tightening.

“Is’ okay, m’ gonna take care of my little slut-remind you that you’re my girl-remind you of your fucking place” she tried to nod her head-his hand keeping her still. “You understand me?” she whimpered “y-yes” he gave her an almost sadistic smile “good girl”

With that he all but threw her onto her bed, her back hitting the mattress-a loud creak from her bed heard as it hit the wall. He was quick to pull off his crew neck-tossing it aside then kicking off his shoes-all the while she stared at him, chest rapidly rising and falling while she pressed her thighs together-trying to get some type of friction-some type of relief.

“So pretty like that-” he spoke as he got onto the bed-making his way between her thighs-easily spreading her legs wide open-a smirk on his face when he noticed the evident wet spot on her black panties. Her thighs still covered in marks he’d left the night before-she was his and it made him go crazy. She just needed to be reminded of that.

He was quick to start rubbing her clit above her panties-the friction and much needed relief had her head rolling back, whimpers leaving her lips as her hands gripped the sheets below her-bucking her hips into Steve’s hand-on the verge of begging him for more. The tension between the two had gotten so thick-so palpable-that she was positive it was only making things so much worse for herself.

“Haven’t even really touched you yet and look at you-” he finally slid her panties to the side-not bothering to remove them as his middle and ring finger found their place against her clit while he rubbed harsh circles against the sensitive pearl. “-Don’t think I forgot that you like it rough-you want me to fuck you like a desperate, whiney, whore? Make you cry?” she nodded her head-finally looking at him.

“Use your words princess” she moaned “y-yes” he smirked, fingers moving faster along her clit-the feeling had her whimpering-hooded eyes staring at him while she moved one of her hands-grasping his wrist “you’re already gonna cum aren’t you? That needy?” she moaned as he shifted his hand slightly, two fingers slipping right into her-his thumb against her clit. It was like he memorized her body-to be fair he hadn’t stopped thinking about her since the first time they slept together.

Her loud moans and whimpers only motivated him to move his fingers faster within her, curling them against her g-spot over and over again-the motion making her toes curl-the familiar coil in her abdomen tight. As the walls of her cunt fluttered around his fingers he knew she was close-he loved it when he made her cum-she looked so pretty under him-face scrunched up slightly, lips forming a perfect ‘o’ while needy whines and moans left her swollen lips.

“Aw are you already gonna cum? That quick-can’t even hold it can you?” she shook her head, brows knit together while she bit down on her bottom lip hard enough to nearly draw blood. “Fuck look at you-so fuckin desperate-fuck.” he groaned as he spoke, his eyes trailing her entire figure-her shirt rolling up slightly-skirt bunched up at her waist as her legs were spread wide-glistening cunt on full display just for him.

“So pretty like this, spread wide open just for me” she nodded her head, head rolling back again, rushed whimpers leaving her lips while her back arched off the bed slightly “that’s it princess-cum for me like the needy bitch you are” that sent her right over the edge-hips bucking into his hand while her eyes were squeezed shut-loud moans leaving her lips.

“St-Steve! Oh fuck-Steve” her words dragged as she moaned, breaths slightly choked, her head felt like it was spinning-because the second she felt like she was coming down-she opened her eyes and Steve was already laying between her thighs-fingers still rapidly fucking into her.

“Love how your pussy tastes-fuck can’t get enough of it” with that his tongue trailed along her folds-teasing her-and right as she let out a loud strung out whine-he started lapping at her clit then bringing it into his mouth. He sucked on it like a man starved, her hands now gripping his hair-tugging at the soft brown locks while her back arched off the bed-eyes screwed shut-loud moans, whimpers, and cries constantly falling from her lips.

When she tried bucking her hips into his face he moved his free hand-wrapping it around one of her thighs-holding it against his shoulder-using that as leverage to pin her in place. He moved back for a second “stay fuckin still” she moaned a slurred “yes sir” which only made him groan-mouth back on her pussy-sliding a third finger into her sopping hole-smirking at the way she gasped-his gaze now held on her face-watching as she tried to look at him-her eyes falling shut each and every time.

“Steve-oh my god-Steve-please-please-please” her begging had him moaning against her clit, his hips rutting against her bed-as he kept his motions up, slightly grinding his teeth against her clit-tugging at it-the motion pushing her right over the edge again-the overstimulation setting as she nearly screamed his name. Her whole body tensed, her hands tugging his hair harder and harder while he lapped at her cunt-sliding his fingers out of her-only to replace them with his tongue.

“T-too much-fuck, fuck, fuck” he licked one final flat stripe against her cunt before sitting up on his knees “Yeah? Too much? Pretty girls all fucked out already?” she whimpered “that’s too fuckin bad” with that he grasped her waist “you’ve got on too much clothes baby, take it off my smart girl” she nodded her head, vision slightly hazy as she sat up slightly-pulling off her sweater-tossing it elsewhere before she unclasped her bra-Steve pulling it right off-taking a second to drag his fingers along her arms-the soft motion a direct contrast from the way he was about to ruin her.

“So perfect-look at you-my perfect little fuck toy” she moaned at his words, her heart beating against her chest while his hungry eyes scanned her figure-and as she tried to close her legs-he pinned them down-holding them open-his stare held on her cunt-wet panties pushed to the side-leaving her open the way he liked. “This cunts all mine-all fuckin mine-you understand me?” she nodded her head. “Use your words”

“All yours-fuck Steve-all yours” he smirked, her raspy voice made him blush, but more importantly-her words lit a different fire in him-one that was consuming his entire being-he needed more of her-he needed to fuck her. He landed a harsh smack to her center-the motion earning a whimper from her while she stared at him. “Hands and knees-gonna fuck you like a whore since you love to act like one”

The way he degraded her made her mind hazy, all she could do was nod her head-and with his help she managed to roll over-now on her hands and knees-head slightly hung. He groaned at the sight-but it wasn’t good enough for him-he pressed a singular hand to her lower back-his other hand holding her hip-pushing against her-deepening her arch until she groaned-the new stretch oddly satisfying while Steve worked at his jeans-the sound of his belt unbuckling sent heat through her core.

She was positive that her cunt was leaking along her thighs-she’d never been this turned on in her life-her mind lost in the haze of Steve Harrington’s dominant side. She’d never been a fan of jealous sex in the past-but right now-she’d flirt with half of Hawkins if it meant he’d fuck her like this more often.

He stroked his cock a few times-moaning at the sight of her on all fours-face down ass up just for him-god he’d fantasized about this moment for what felt like years. She wiggled her ass slighty-swaying her hips and whining “Steve-please-fuck me” he moaned at that-smacking her ass twice “shut the fuck up and wait princess” with that he lined himself up with her cunt-sliding the tip of his cock along her slit-gathering her wetness while teasing her.

“Gonna fuck you so good, make you forget all about that fuckin asshole from earlier-remind you that I’m the only one allowed in this tight little cunt-only one allowed to have you like this-only one allowed to hear your desperate whines while I fuck you like a bitch in heat” she whimpered-looking back over her shoulder-craning her neck trying to see him-watching as he stared down at her cunt-gliding his cock along her slit until he found her hole.

“Oh and princess-I’d never assume you’d whore yourself out to anyone who looked your way” with that he slammed into her-bottoming out in one fast stroke-then he repeated the motion building a rhythm. Her arms practically collapsed-back arching a little bit more as her cheek hit the mattress, hands gripping the sheets below her while she moaned his name-over and over-in a chant. She didn’t even care about the burn of the stretch-she loved the way he was pounding into her.

“F-fuck Steve-so good-so so good fuck” he smirked, smacking her ass again-then placing one hand on her waist-holding her bunched up skirt in place as he fucked into her. She was a moaning, whining mess under him as he fucked her-his head thrown back slightly while he kept his movements up. He couldn’t get enough of her-and the way she felt around him-he was thankful she forced him into going to the clinic-the feeling of her warm, tight, wet cunt swallowing him raw was a feeling he wouldn’t trade for the world.

“So fuckin tight-fuck feels so good baby” she whimpered, biting her bottom lip-the overstimulation making her body burn “too much-fuck Steve” her words had a continuos slur to them, all dragging together. It felt too good, she knew she was close again-her body melting into him-she really was his fuck toy-and she loved every second of it.

He leaned forward, snaking a hand around her figure-gripping her throat-the feeling made her whimper as he pulled her back slightly-her head leaned back into his shoulder while he pinned her to the bed-cock fucking into her sopping cunt-the squelching sounds alongside the sounds of skin slapping practically echoing in the room.

Then he started licking and sucking marks into her shoulder blade, leaving a bite mark along her soft skin-earning another loud moan from her.

“Taking my cock so well-fuck feels like you’re swallowing me-so fuckin good for me Y/n-always so fuckin good-even when you have that fuckin attitude. Just needed to get fucked good huh? That it?” she nodded her head, moaning incoherent words and sounds, he felt her walls flutter around him-he knew how close she was-and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t teetering on that edge as well.

“M-more, n-need m-more Steve” he smirked “yeah? You need more? My smart girl needs more?” she whimpered “y-yes” which led to him moving the hand on her hip-sliding it under her body-between her thighs-two fingers tracing crescent moons into her swollen clit, her jaw dropping at that-a long low moan of his name slipping out of her lips, tears sliding down her cheeks from the intense pleasure coursing through her.

“Gonna let me cum in you? Fill you up? Make this cunt mine?” she moaned a quick “y-yes” while nodding her head, one of her hands moving from the bed below her to his wrist-holding on to him while he fucked her over the edge-a loud scream of his name fell past her lips, her eyes squeezed shut as she arched into him.

“Just like that pretty girl, fuck just like that” he moaned as he spoke, keeping his rhythm up-fucking her through her orgasm before pulling out of her, taking a second to press a gentle kiss to her cheek before moving back. “Roll over for me baby” she lazily nodded her head-laying down then slowly rolling onto her back-the second Steve noticed the tears on her face he swiped a few away with his thumb before holding her chin “you’re so pretty when you cry” his words were almost sweet-but the degrading tone behind them made her whimper.

The way she stared at him made his heart race-she looked so cock drunk, her eyes hooded, tears along her cheeks, a layer of sweat covering her skin, lips swollen and parted with a small smile on her face. “Can you handle another one?” she nodded her head “words”

“Yeah-please Stevie” her voice was strained and raspy, she moved one of her hands to grip his forearm-pulling his hand from her chin to her throat all the while holding eye contact with him-and he lost all of his composure at the motion. Her mind was a haze, she was so high on pleasure that she’d practically let him do anything to her right now and it was driving him crazy.

He stared at her for a few moments, taking every part of her in before moving, now leaning above her, perfectly slotted between her thighs while he traced the tip of his cock along her dripping slit-and in one quick motion he was thrusting into her, her head falling back slightly-a loud moan of his name leaving her lips while her hands easily found their way to his back-gripping against his shoulder blades as he pounded relentlessly into her.

“So-so good, fuck-swallowing me whole-taking it so well” she nodded her head at his praise, brows knit together in pleasure while her nails dug into his skin-scratching long marks into his back while she moaned below him-the tears still falling from her eyes as she felt herself practically drowning-it was so overwhelming. She knew she was close, it wouldn’t take much to push her back over the edge-her fucked out cunt and swollen clit so sensitive that the moment his fingers glided against the bud she was gasping and arching into him.

“C’mon princess, cum all over my cock-show me it’s all yours” His head now in the crook of her neck, lips brushing her ear as he spoke. her heart was racing for a different reason now-his words sending a shiver down her spine and even through the ocean of pleasure she was in-she still felt the butterflies in her stomach. He was so close that his shoulder was slightly brushing against her chin-his body enveloping hers.

“Good girl, just like that-squeezin me so good” she moaned again, and as her orgasm hit her-she bit down on his shoulder-earning a loud groan from him-the motion surprising him but also sending heat waves through his entire figure. “F-fuck, gonna cum-I’m gonna fill you up princess” his words were strained and all she could do was moan-too caught up in her orgasm to speak coherently.

Then as she felt herself start coming down from her high-he kept fucking into her-hips slamming against hers for a few seconds before his warmth filled her-the motion feeling almost euphoric as she whined his name-all the while he was moaning incoherent phrases into her ear.

As they both came down from their state of euphoria he rested his head against her shoulder-both of them catching their breath as he slowly pulled out of her-mumbling apologies when she whimpered and gripped his skin again. Then he rolled off of her-ignoring the feeling of his pants around his hips-tucking his cock back into his briefs while he stared at her ceiling. The two laying in complete silence-the only sounds heard were their harsh breaths.

“Steve” he swallowed “yeah?” “Rich is into Robin not me” his eyes widened at that, brows knit together while he processed her words-then he finally sat up-looking over at her-watching as she pulled one of her bunched up sheets over her chest-gaze still held on the ceiling above them.

“What? She’s gay-” Y/n rolled her eyes “we’re literally the only people in Hawkins who know that you moron” he blinked even more, an evident flush on his skin now because he had to bullshit some excuse about the way he just fucked her-or why he said the things he said-he couldn’t just outwardly say he was jealous because he wanted her to be his-in every aspect. No he couldn’t, so what was he supposed to say.

“Oh-uh-shit” she finally looked at him, shifting her body slightly-laying on her side as she met his stare. “Have you always been the jealous type?” he scoffed, rolling his eyes-the real answer was no-he’d been confident in most of his relationships and endeavors-of course his ex girlfriend did cheat on him but even before that he’d never been outwardly jealous when someone looked her way-so why was it different with Y/n.

“Uh yeah-guess so” she knit her brows together at his rushed response, but she didn’t want to press anything else out of him given the fact that it was late and her entire body was sore-and all she wanted to do was take off her soaked panties, take the skirt off, then lay down.

“Help me with my skirt?” he nodded his head, gently pulling the sheet back-a loud audible moan leaving his lips at the sight of her fucked out pussy dripping with his cum-a wave of heat rushing through his entire body as he found himself struggling to pull her skirt off alongside her panties. His gaze focused on her cunt-and as she squeezed her legs shut-angling them slightly-just enough that he could see her leaking pussy he had to fight the urge to finger it all back into her.

She hadn’t even noticed-her eyes fluttering shut while he pulled her clothes off, however as his fingers gently grazed her inner thigh she whimpered-looking at him-realizing his gaze was directly on her center. “Harrington-quit it” he raised a brow-blinking a few times before looking back at her face “huh-what?” she pursed her lips slightly “stop staring at my pussy” he groaned “I can’t help it, looks so good with my cum dripping from it”

She ignored the rush of heat to her face, opting to roll her eyes instead “take your pants off and lay down with me you jealous douchebag-and I still want that apology” he bit his lip, holding back a smile while nodding her head.

Then after a few minutes he was back next to her-pulling her into his chest.

“Sorry for flipping out earlier-I just-I dunno I didn’t like how he was flirting with you-then you kept giggling and I just-” she scoffed “you just what? Assumed I’d spread my legs for him in the middle of the store?” she was teasing him now, her light hearted tone made him roll his eyes, a smile on his face. “I mean-Rich isn’t exactly ugly-for all I know he could be my competition” she rolled her eyes “I agreed to have sex with you and literally said I wouldn’t have sex with anyone else-also if I wanted to fuck Rich I would’ve done it months ago. He’s a cool guy but he’s such an airhead, maybe if I was like you he’d be my type”

He scoffed “like me?-I’ll have you know my type is very diverse!” she rolled her eyes “pretty bimbos with big tits” he scoffed again “and what about you?” she raised a brow, now leaning up, looking down at him “so you’re saying i’m your type?” he started blushing-eyes widening at her words.

“It’s okay Harrington-you just might be my type too. Don’t think too deep into it-might actually hurt that pretty little head” he rolled his eyes “just because you have a nice ass doesn’t mean you have to act like an ass” she nodded her head “who knows-maybe next time you fuck me like that I’ll let you eat it-and don’t forget I have a great rack too”

With that she let out a few giggles, laying back down and shushing him as he tried to respond.

The both of them knew they were more than friends-however they’d do their best to avoid the conversation about that. For now they’d simply pretend nothing had changed-pretend that their sex mean’t nothing-that Steve’s jealousy was just a spur of the moment thing, and that Y/n’s heart didn’t race everytime he looked her way.

What’s the worst that would happen? They’d fall in love? As if.

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#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington series #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n

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