#jackie was deeply insecure and scared

[upinyourcortex]

I was having thoughts about yellowjackets and taissa, specifically her relationship with jackie, and how the jackie-shauna-tai triangle was mostly projection on jackie's part (and within the fandom), in my humble opinion. I'll even go as far as to say taissa was more respectful of jackie than shauna (and the other girls) ever were in the wilderness.

I mean obviously we can't deny that tai didn't respect jackie's status as team captain at the beginning of s1 with what happened to allie, but I wanna talk about what happened in the few eps before jackie's death.

First of all we have tai breaking up a fight between jackie and natalie, and putting herself in between them, in an obviously protective stance in front of jackie

Then, during dinner before the final argument with Shauna, when Jackie refuses to say grace, who tries to defend her and says she doesn't have to ? Taissa.

When Jackie takes her stuff to sleep outside, who tells her not to, and then immediatly gets insulted ? Taissa. She even looks confused when Jackie goes "don't pretend this isn't what you wanted the whole time", like girl where did that come from ?

Who is the only one trying to get Shauna to talk to Jackie while she's outside ? Taissa.

Taissa was even more respectful towards Jackie's dead body than Shauna was. Taissa was the one who barged in the shed and saw the makeup on Jackie's corpse. She's the one who told everyone that they should burn it, cuz let's be real, Shauna would have continued to play with it like a Barbie doll until it was completely rotten guys. She was also the only one who was viscerally disgusted after realizing she ate her, throwing up when Van told her she ate Jackie's face.

Taissa is a perfect example of a character whose actions contradict her words entirely. In my opinion, she was more of a friend to Jackie in her last days and after her death than Shauna ever was in what we've been shown.

[danisbrainrot]

yellowjackets as taylor swift albums (I'm bored). this became deeper than I meant for it to go OMG. whoops, anyways, enjoy:

1. tai: reputation. oh my god this girl is soooo in love with van, and at the end of the day, that's what reputation is. a love album. yeah it's got a little revenge in it, but overall, it's about being in love with someone who was there for you at your most vulnerable. and who's always been there for tai, adult AND teen timeline? VAN!

2. van: 1989! it's nostalgic, fun, iconic but still has the emotional rawness that flows throughout all of taylor's albums. everyone thinks 1989 is just heaps of fun, but it has this emotional intensity to it that once you look closer to it, you realise how much of a masterpiece it is. also, it just gives me van vibes tbh.

3. jackie: lover. she's so insecure about being in a relationship with who she thinks is the love of her life (shauna) in case she fucks it up (spoiler alert, she does). taylor also wrote this album as a last hurrah, to prove she had more stories to tell, and I think that ties in nicely to jackie's character. her insecurity forces her to try and prove herself to shauna, and show her best friend how much she loves her.

4. shauna: she's a red girlie. taylor's most emotionally raw album (besides ttpd) and she just gives the vibes. this is taylor's first heartbreak album (like how jackie's death was shauna's first heartbreak), and it's so intense that it takes a few listens to understand, but once you do, you realise it's an album about a girl with big heart learning how to recover from the devastation of losing someone she loves deeply.

5. lottie: folklore!! I love my little baby. this album was written in isolation, and you can definitely hear it in some of taylor's lyrics, and I just feel like that's lottie's character. the isolated girl who's held up to a higher standard than everyone else.

6. nat: ttpd. okay, i was tossing up between giving this to nat or travis, but then I remembered the adult timeline and went with nat. when I first heard this album, it reminded me of her purposeless speech. it's also an album where taylor was going through a manic phase, and if that isn't nat, I don't know what is. she's just lost the love of her life, and then she's kidnapped by lottie's cult and promised so many wonderful things, that she believes it—only for it to end in tragedy.

7. misty: she gives off such speak now vibes. she has so much she wants to prove, and she's reeling from being in love with a man much older than her.

8. travis: evermore. he's such a tragic little guy, that the album suits him. I really just think of happiness, marjorie and right where you left me because he's stuck in the past. he literally kills himself (accidentally I know, I know) because he's so trapped in the wilderness despite being free from it. this album has always given me: depressed sad, compared to its sister albume: folklore, which gives me angry sad. and while he's definitely more angry then lottie, he's got this deep sadness in him that echoes evermore.

9. mari: midnights. okay I don't know how to explain it better than this is how I interpret mari. she's the first to throw herself into believing lottie because she's scared and when I think of midnights, I think of how scared taylor was at losing her relationship and joe that she ignores her feelings. and mari ignores her feelings because if she really thinks about it, I don't think she'd be able to handle herself, i.e. being trapped in the woods, eating jackie.

10. javi: taylor swift (debut). just the innocence and naïvety of the album. it's her first album, she wrote and released at 15/16 so there's a lot of childish beliefs and hopes, which I think javi has—but there's still an underlying feeling of heartbreak. he tries to be a kid, but is still traumatised.

11. laura lee: fearless!! this is purely based on the album title. I mean, learning to fly a plane just to save her friends? this album is probably my least favourite, so you're not going to get a lot of analysis, but the few times I've listened to it, I understand it's about having faith things will work out (this might be wrong, but that's what I'm choosing to believe about it). and her faith makes her believe she can do anything, including save her friends. omg I love her so much <333

[siover]

In regards to the notes in your last post about Travis-- yes, while he isn't really my favorite character (just comes off as a bit... boring?) I think he is deeply sympathetic, and obviously just a kid-- a teenage boy grappling with grief and emotions and unfortunately being a bit of a jerk about it.

That said... It really rubs me the wrong way about how he treated Javi in season one. I know the death scare made him do a complete 180 (and I actually think their bond is super sweet and one of the most redeeming things about Travis as a character), but Javi was mourning his father too in the first season, and Travis acted completely distant and cold in a situation where Javi was the youngest one and clearly vulnerable. Also, I think his reasons for being mad at Nat are currently completely justified and understandable (though I see it from Nat's perspective too.)... but the slutshaming in the first season? Yikes. I get that he's a teenage boy, and he was socialized that way and was making up for being insecure about being a virgin, but that doesn't justify his misogyny that she sort of just... put up with? In short-- season 1 travis << season 2 travis, but I still need more from him to be fully won over. he's just kind of a guy? who's a dude?

hi hello i typed out like three paragraphs to this and tumblr deleted them......but the gist was. yr not wrong at all !

i think part of what finding travis unsympathetic about in s1 is how, like w the girls, we get a set up of a character archetype that is then subverted by showing us the unsustainability of the performance that demands it.

travis in s1 is broken w grief and (from the pov of his assigned duties as they fall to his narrative role) he fails his brother. the thing is javi does start forming bonds w the girls but natalie is the only person travis gets close to in s1, and the implosion of that + his misguided misogyny imo serves an equal and opposite function to jackie's loneliness, in that we see how being estranged from society doesn't remove the tensions inherent to these social dynamics but rather warps them. jackie's repression is physically incompatible with surroundings that require your blood in exchange for survival. it's also shown most obviously in how jackie and travis have sex with neither of them really enjoying or wanting it, but the alternative would be to lose whats kept them sane so far.

thats the branching path here, i think. the horrifying scene at the doomcoming with the girls assaulting travis, and jackie not participating but having had sex with him earlier, both serve to display the hunger of the narrative for the dregs of what holds power in "society." its why travis goes from being in love with natalie and too immersed in his grief to look at javi to worshipping lottie and not only making up for his earlier neglect of javi but also going out of his way in the acknowledgement of javi's potential connection to The Thing Out There when he comes back different.

and this is only one (messily-worded) interpretation among what is imo a nesting doll of character motivations and arcs as pertaining to travis alone. obviously there are other factors in this change that coexist with and comment on The Horrors, not all of which i agree with, but i don't want to make this any longer than it already is especially given its been a while since i watched s1 and i'll have to rewatch to fully get into what the show's exploration of themes says in ways im barely scratching the surface of here

all this is like. far more speculative than what youve talked about and its not to say i disagree with anything you've mentioned !! im marginally interested in travis primarily for what his relationship with natalie does for his survival out in the woods but hes very much a tertiary character!

my post was more abt how ppl managing to hate travis and like jeff at the same time is in such poor taste bc like......ive seen the jokeposts ive seen the reasoning for why jeff understands shauna but he really doesnt lol. he does see her, and thats bc he read her diaries w/o her consent. propping up jeff as some pinnacle of spousal support when he cowers from who shauna is at every turn, while failing to understand why travis acts the way he does and disliking him bc his (past) misogyny was more overt than jeff's is, is very shortsighted. caveat that ppl are free to dislike whoever they want, i disliked travis in s1 too, etc etc

ok lastly. im very interested in the seeds of lottie/travis and lottienat in the cadence of prophet/worshipper and prophetskeptic respectively in that they're all performances akin to how they had to play a part outside. and it wasnt any less about desperate survival outside than it is now, its just that the transparency of the stakes has changed. so travis' role has my attention for now

[rumpledgoldenweaver]

Off The Deep End

Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling prompt for July: Hotel, Bikini, Eye Contact

Read here on my blog: https://earlyrisingwriting.home.blog/2020/07/27/off-the-deep-end/

Rumple and Belle get the opportunity for a weekend away without Gideon, but there is trouble in paradise when Rumple refuses to sunbathe with Belle so she goes to the pool on her own…

She could feel his eyes on her like laser beams, boring twin holes into her back from the balcony of their penthouse suite. She imagined steam billowing out of ears tinged red with temper. She wouldn’t look up, she refused to acknowledge him at all. He could stand there till midnight for all she cared. In his black three piece suit, his black shirt and his black tie – all coordinated slightly varying shades obviously. His only concession to the weather and being on holiday was a pair of sunglasses. In black.

Her own attire was far more suitable, a dark blue bikini, light cotton wrap, sandals and a large hat with Jackie Onassis sunglasses. She felt like a movie star, stretched out on a lounger, ice cold drink on the table next to her. The only thing missing was her husband, however since not thirty minutes before he’d accused of looking like a porn star in her bikini it was for the best he was elsewhere. Tears threatened but she refused to let them fall as she recalled how the morning had gone from an idyllic breakfast in bed to World War Three. One offhand comment led to past indiscretions on both their parts being dragged up and flung across the room. Her parting retort just before she’d slammed out of the room “The only way you are getting inside my bikini is if you put it on yourself!” had echoed down the corridor. She cringed with embarrassment at what the housekeeping staff might have thought. She needed to swim. The pool was clean, clear and sparkling with sunlight. Sitting up she put her hat and shades on the lounger, headed for the deep end and dived straight in, swimming underwater for a good half a length before emerging through the water, kicking into breast stroke and losing herself in the rhythm.

~

She doesn’t look like a porn star he mused she looks like a goddess. He’d regretted the words as soon as he’d said them, even the darkness within him had beat a retreat telling him “you’re on your own after that dearie”

His gaze turned from her to the men who were lounging round the pool, all of them with someone, all different shapes and sizes, all wearing swimwear. He shuddered at the thought of being that exposed, he’d always worn several layers of clothing, the idea of trunks frightened the life out of him. A deeply tanned, dark haired, muscular man strode round the edge of the pool, he wore plain black swim shorts, moving with a confidence that Rumple could only dream of.  Black swimwear though, that might be okay perhaps if he wore a t-shirt with it? But not as short as those, they needed to be longer but not too long or he’d look stupid. Why was it all so difficult.

Belle was still swimming, length after length, though her pace had slowed. Sighing he retreated back inside. There was a swim shop located within the hotel, maybe he could take a look. Looking never cost anything, he didn’t actually have to buy. He could say he’d looked but found nothing he liked. Perfect.

He picked up the keys from his bedside table and stopped. There on the bed was one of Belle’s bikinis, a black one as it happened. What had she said? The only way he was getting inside was if he put it on? It would give him an idea after all he’d never worn anything like swimwear in any of his lifetimes. He need only try the bottoms, he could change quickly, use a teeny bit of magic, satisfy a curiosity and Belle need never know. It wasn’t something he envisioned himself doing twice.  He dropped the keys and waved his hand before he could talk himself out of it.

~

Belle heaved herself out of the pool, shivering a little as she stood. The man Rumple spotted earlier walked past her, giving an appreciative glance and a friendly “hola” She had no idea what that meant, it seemed to be a greeting so she smiled and returned it. He continued on his way until he reached his blonde haired female companion, he settled on his lounger and the two were soon deep in conversation.

It made Belle feel a little sad. That could be her and Rumple if he wasn’t so bloody stubborn and insecure and.. oh. There it was. The elephant in the room. She could have kicked herself. She’d known him how many years and never seen him in anything less than his shirt sleeves if they weren’t in bed. Or the shower. It didn’t excuse the things he’d said but she hadn’t exactly been understanding.  She looked up at their balcony, he was no longer there. Perhaps he’d gone for a walk. She decided to head back up, get changed and go find him. She wrapped her towel round her, gathered her things, picked up her drink and set off.

Padding back to their suite she noticed a swim shop,  a quick look in the window told her there were several styles that would suit Rumple, maybe she could convince him to take a look.

~

Overall Rumple decided that he didn’t look quite as hideous as perhaps he had first thought. True the bikini bottoms weren’t very comfortable, they were certainly snug but then they weren’t made for men and Belle was definitely a smaller size than him. Curiosity sated he made to change back into his suit, thinking maybe he could leave the jacket and waistcoat off.

“RUMPLE!! what on earth are you doing?”

He startled, dropping his clothes on the floor, using his hands to cover himself and blushing a deep red.

“I erm.. I er.. Belle sweetheart…”

“I know I said the only way you’d get inside them was if you wore them but I didn’t mean it literally”

“I just wanted an idea.. I’ve never worn anything.. and I didn’t know.. and…”

“Ssh” she kissed him then stood back an appraising look on her face “they’re a bit small, they show you’re arse off better than they do mine though..”

“Don’t mock me Belle” his head bowed.

“Rumple. Look at me” when he’d made eye contact she continued “I am not and would not mock you. Not over this anyway” she moved closer too him an all too familiar predatory look in her eye “I like what I see”

Rumple swallowed, his throat felt extremely dry, “You do?”

She pulled the bits of string that held the sides of the bikini together and it fell apart. Her hands roamed his chest then she pushed him back on to the bed. He watched with rapt attention as she removed her own swimwear and clambered on the bed.

“You called me a porn star”

“I didn’t mean that Belle, I didn’t. I’m sorry. I…” she cut him off with a kiss.

“Do you know how many times I watched that Woven Lace film hmm? It gave me lots of ideas. I think I can give Lacey a run for her money”

The grin on her face scared him almost as much as thought of wearing trunks.  

“Now then” she purred “where shall I start..?”

Any reply Rumple had was immediately lost as was his ability to think coherent thoughts.

Later that day three smart looking pairs of black swim shorts, not too short, not too long and definitely not the “budgie smugglers” that Belle had found so very amusing joined Rumple’s holiday wardrobe.   Next morning they went to the pool together, early so that there wouldn’t be too many people about. Rumple even went for a swim.

[purpletigertaetae]

Back and Forth (Part 1?)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 1874

Genre: Dancer!Yoongi x Dancer!reader

Rating: Pretty PG

Warnings: Lots of angst. Sorry Wistful glances, pining, unsaid thoughts

Notes: So this is my first BTS story ever written. @taetaesbaebaepsae this is for you, because you always put me in my Yoongi feels. @illneverrecover you make a little cameo here as does the rest of our beautiful cirque. Cirque, I love you guys! Thank you for encouraging me to write! 

You danced for a prestigious hip-hop company, and this year you had gotten the lead for the newest production your troupe was putting on. The Cirque was the name of the production and had a mix of all dance types, from ballet to contemporary to some Asian classical dancing too. Every routine had at least two dancers to partner up, but you had asked for a solo. The only other dancer who could keep up with you was Yoongi, and you didn’t want to have a charged performance with him. It would confuse you even further.

Yoongi and you had history. A back and forth, complex than most dances, that most people didn’t understand. Forget most people, you didn’t understand it either. You had met over two years ago and the dance had begun. Six months ago, you had to break it off, stop the dance abruptly, not because you had fallen out of love with him, but because it became too much. You told yourself that it was because you worked better as friends, but deep within, you knew it was because you were scared. Yoongi had pulled out the softness within you, and destroyed the hard outside shell you portrayed to the world. He created a safe haven where you didn’t have to worry about anything and your insecure self, ran for the hills when he opened up.

For six months, you pondered if you had made the right choice, losing sleep every night because of the way Min Yoongi made you feel even now. Every night it took longer than necessary to fall asleep, because his steady breath, his warmth, his arms wrapped around you were missing from your bed. He would come watch your performances, being friendly, but never engaging in conversation. He’d throw a small tightlipped smile your way, and your heart would ache, hoping to catch a glimpse of his bright gummy smile. But, you guessed, that was reserved for girlfriends or more. You didn’t hold that title, never had and probably never would.

In those six months, the Cirque main lead had fallen into your lap. You threw yourself into the solo, focusing all your energy into putting on the best performance possible. You entered a dance haze, alone and determined to not think about a certain blond haired gentleman. You isolated yourself, spending the most time at the studio but not interacting with anyone or anything besides the music. Your other friends in the production grew worried for you, begging you to eat, take a break, not strain yourself, and those moments were the only times you arose from the haze. Even the other boys saw the strenuous rehearsals you were putting yourself through.

However, you had noticed one thing. In the three months since you had requested a solo, Yoongi hadn’t come to watch you rehearse. Your eyes would look for him every day, but he never showed up. Everyone, even Jin, would watch every day as you would scan the studio with expecting eyes and a small frown on your face when you realized he wouldn’t come. That frown, the pain in your eyes, the hurt across your features sure portrayed beautifully in your dance, but were breaking your heart.

Yoongi finally showed up on the last day of rehearsals, but you hadn’t seen him yet. Taehyung, Jimin, Jungkook and three of the girls finished their contemporary performance and stepped off stage when Yoongi slipped into the theater and took a seat in the front row. You were next, waiting backstage for the music to start so you could enter. As you did, Tae took a seat next to Yoongi.

“Hyung, you won’t go up and say hello to her? She missed you, you know?”

“No, she wanted space. I’m giving her space. But I’m here, if she wants to come say hello.” Yoongi clenched his jaw, unyielding.

“Hyung, please don’t be stubborn. You haven’t been here in almost three months. We all missed you. Y/N noona especially.”

Yoongi took a big sigh, his mouth turned down into a pout, “I missed you all too Tae, but I had to take some space. But I’m back. I’m here, whenever and wherever she needs me. If that’s as just friends, then I’ll do it or I’ll learn. I don’t like being away from her.”

“Then go say hello, Hyung. Nothing wrong with hello.”

“Maybe after her performance. Look it’s starting.” Yoongi cut the conversation short as the music began and you started dancing. You had gotten thinner, he noticed, the bags under your eye evidence that sleep evaded you too. But your dancing was incredible. You didn’t miss one beat, the practice evident with every flick and every move. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you.

You, on the other hand, for the first time didn’t scan the seats. You didn’t look for Yoongi. He hadn’t showed up for anything else, why would he come now. You lost yourself in the music, muscle memory taking over as you wiped your brain of everything, until you turned. When you turned to face the front, your eyes caught sight of the blond wavy hair you hadn’t seen in months. He looked at you, his face showing no emotion, his brown eyes deep pools you couldn’t read, and for the first time you lost concentration. You meant to twist, but your body wouldn’t cooperate. Your ankle gave way, and with a cry you stumbled.

Yoongi watched you snap out of concentration as you linked eyes with him. He saw the twist that was supposed to happen but didn’t. He heard your cry, it echoed in his heart, ringing in his ears. He saw you stumble, but he knew had to be there before you crashed into the ground. His eyes widened and he bolted out of his seat, jumping up onto the stage before Taehyung, or anyone could move.

“Princess!” The pet name escaped his lips before he could stop. He ran, and slid himself under you so your weight would be on him, his arms coming to wrap around you in comfort.

“Yoongi… I-” You went to speak.

“I know you don’t want me to be here baby, but you were about to break your foot. I couldn’t let that happen.” He shushed you gently, cutting you off.

“Yoongi, it hurts…” Your attention finally went back to your ankle. You whimpered into his chest as he cradled you.

“Come on, let me take you to the green room so you can stretch it out.” The rest of the crew looked on as Yoongi slid his arms around and under you and lifted you bridal style to the green room. It was empty when you both got to it, so Yoongi gently set you down on the couch and closed the door giving you two both privacy.

Yoongi knelt down to your ankle inspecting it before getting back up and rummaging around in the cupboards looking for bandages and ice. Your eyes followed his figure, your heart racing, missing the warmth his embrace had given only moments ago. He looked thinner, his hair long and untrimmed. You mused to yourself, had he missed you like you had missed him? As he turned around, you quickly looked away, not wanted to get caught staring. He walked back to you, and knelt back down, his hands full of first aid materials.

He worked quietly, while you looked at his blond mop, almost wanting to run your fingers through it. The silence became stifling, but he didn’t seem to notice. Taking a deep breath, trying to calm your pounding heart, you opened your mouth to speak.

“Yoongi, I-”

“You-”

Both of you stopped and stared at each other, you registering the redness in his eyes, the bags under his eyes. He looked tired, the realization that you had hurt him setting in.

“You go first,” he said

“Nuh-uh. You first.”

“Aish, woman you’re going to kill me.”

You stared at him unyielding.

“Ahhh, fine.” He exhaled deeply through his nose, and then spoke. “You need to get this ankle checked.”

You stared at him incredulously, eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Really? That’s all you were going to say?”

Yoongi widened his eyes in surprise. “What did you want me to say?” he stated frankly, not willing to start the dance between you two over again.

You stared at him for a beat longer, hoping he would say something more, anything at all. But, no. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” You looked away, willing yourself not to cry as your eyes welled. You would not show him this weakness. You would not show him the heartache you had caused yourself.

Yoongi stared at your profile, wanting to say more. In his head, he had a whole soliloquy planned out. He wanted to tell you that he loved you. He still loves you. But you had wanted space. You did. He didn’t. Now what? What could he do? He had to draw the line somewhere. You looked back at him and he stared at you, so much love in his eyes, just unable to express it.

You kept thinking about his pouty lips. You wanted to kiss them so much. You wanted to tell him how wrong you were to break this off. You wanted to tell him you loved him then. You still love him now. But you were so incredibly afraid. So afraid to say something. So afraid to be with him. So afraid to open up. What if he didn’t like what he was met with? You looked at him with a mixture of doubt and love, but the words kept getting stuck in your throat.

You two stared at each other, the silence charged, the sore ankle forgotten. Words stuck, eyes speaking to each other. The dance had started again, hesitant steps, nothing more.

BANG! The door to the green room crashed open, and your charged tension, the bubble you two had created vanished. Popping away into inexistence. Those words would not come out. The entire dance company crowded into the room, headed by the maknaes. They ran in and stopped suddenly, the tension still lingering in the room. Yoongi stood up and took a step back while the girls crowded around you. Jackie, the nurse in the group, came to your ankle while everyone else pushed their way in. In the hubbub, Yoongi stepped even further away.

He whispered, “I guess I’ll see you later…” and escaped the room before you could even notice. As everyone fussed over you, you looked around trying to catch Yoongi.

“Babe? Are you okay? Why was Yoongi here?” One of the other girls asked as everyone stared at you quietly while Jackie looked at your ankle.

You sighed deeply. “No reason. He was here for no reason at all.”

Your face fell, and the company looked at each other, worried for you even more.

“Luckily he saved your ankle. You should rest today with ice and take two painkillers, but you’ll be fine for tomorrow.” Jackie made her judgement.

You took a resigned sigh, while Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other. Yoongi would be there tomorrow. Tomorrow, they would fix you and Yoongi. You two belonged together and they would make sure it would work out.

A/N: AHHHH okay okay, I’m so nervous to post this because it’s not usually what I write. But I hope you like it! Send thoughts okay?

[thestupidhelmet]

not sure if you addressed this but...what are your overall feelings about the dynamic between hyde, jackie and kelso in “whole lotta love” season 5 ep 16???

It’s quite an interesting episode, on the surface and subtextually. It reveals that Jackie and Hyde have deep discussions beyond what we ever see on the show – although one would assume they would, considering Hyde wouldn’t be in a committed romantic relationship with anyone he couldn’t connect to on an intellectual and emotional level.

But the fact that Jackie keeps the date of her birthday secret from Hyde is quite heartbreaking. It also takes some suspension of disbelief for us to accept Hyde wouldn’t already know her birth date because:

Jackie would’ve thrown huge birthday parties, which Hyde would’ve heard all about during the planning process.

Hyde would’ve been invited to at least one of those parties.

Hyde has a crazy-good memory, despite all the circles, so he would’ve remembered her birthday.

All that aside, I believe Hyde felt guilty that Jackie interpreted his anti-materialist stance to mean she shouldn’t care about the day of her birth. His own birthdays were probably not celebrated by his parents. Kitty, Eric, and Donna had to be the ones to make sure his birthday didn’t go by unnoticed. And now, inadvertently, he’s given Jackie the same message his own parents gave him: her existence isn’t significant.

The show missed an opportunity to explore that psychological aspect in the episode, instead testing just how much Jackie had truly changed by having Kelso give her that sweater. It’s actually an interesting use of the Kelso/Jackie/Hyde non-triangle triangle. Jackie’s been trying to change to fit what she thinks is Hyde’s ideal “perfect woman”. Kelso uses his experiences with Jackie to manipulate her away from that ideal, and Hyde gets insecure and jealous.

That last part is the one that veers the episode away from what could’ve made it a richer story. Hyde’s main focus during most of the episode is that Jackie sees through Kelso’s manipulations – in large part so Hyde won’t lose Jackie to them. While I believe his mind is also on the messages he’s unintentionally been sending her, the show relies completely on subtext to demonstrate this concern.

By giving Jackie his favorite shirt as a birthday gift, Hyde counters the message that her birthday isn’t important to him and, by extension, that she isn’t important to him.

“[This shirt’s] my favorite one. Look, you’re with me now, so I want you to have it.”

His statement above contains quite a bit of subtext. First, by giving Jackie his favorite shirt, he’s telling her that he’s committed to her and intends to be in their relationship for the long haul. Essentially, he doesn’t see their relationship ending. Otherwise, giving her that shirt would be the same as throwing it away. 

Second, giving her that shirt exemplifies and clarifies what he means by not being materialistic. He doesn’t expect her not to expect presents but to appreciate true gifts, ones that are priceless rather than have a price tag.

Kelso stole an expensive pink sweater and gave it to Jackie out of selfishness, to serve himself, not out of love for her. Hyde gives her a shirt that has a lot of emotional significance to him, which means she’s significant to him. His favorite shirt goes to his favorite girl, as Red might put it, because he wants to make sure she knows he loves her – despite that he doesn’t say those words directly – not to manipulate her into loving him.

Third, and last, however, is the double-meaning behind, “Look, you’re with me now.” This is both an affirmation of his commitment to her and a way of planting his flag on his territory. “You’re with me,” not Kelso. The “Get off my boyfriend!” incident happened just two episodes earlier. It’s fresh in Hyde’s mind, as is his insecurity about Jackie’s feelings toward him vs. Kelso.

The show could have – and, in my opinion, should have – gone in a completely different direction with Jackie and Hyde’s relationship from this point on. Instead of working Hyde up into a jealous, insecure frenzy, let him recognize how deeply he’s fallen for Jackie and get scared by the intensity of those feelings. Allow him to trust Jackie and stop seeing Kelso as a threat and put his mistrust into himself. That would’ve been a far more organic and intriguing development than what the show manipulated him into.

I could write more about the above idea here, but that would turn this into a mega meta. :D

[those70scomics]

How do u think the show would’ve been different if the HJK triangle was pushed early on? Or did u like the pacing the show established?

I think a lot of work (and better writing) would’ve been needed for the H/J/K triangle to have developed properly earlier in the series.

In season 2, post-”Kiss of Death” (2x20), Kelso acts possessive of Jackie when Fez wants to ask her out. But when Hyde informs Jackie that they’re “going on a freakin’ date” in “Jackie Bags Hyde” (3x08), Kelso doesn’t try to stop it. He appears devastated and drowns his sorrows in beer with Fez. (Side note: in the comics’ version of the ep, Kelso and Fez try to spy on/stop Hyde and Jackie’s date.)

If Kelso were to try to interfere in Jackie and Hyde’s romantic relationship in season 3, had JBH gone differently, Kelso’s treatment of Jackie post-“Kelso’s Serenade” (2x21) would’ve needed to be addressed. He goes from apologizing and begging Jackie to take him back in “Kiss of Death,” to trying to woo her back in “Kelso’s Serenade,” to flaunting his relationship with Laurie as well as encouraging Laurie’s constant disrespect of Jackie.

His claims of love for Jackie, promises to treat her better, and remorse for hurting her is all conditional on her forgiving and forgetting and taking him back. Kelso takes no true responsibility for his behavior and shows no true love and respect. That would’ve required him treating her with love and respect regardless of whether or not she takes him back or forgives him on his time table.

I’d hope that Hyde would make all of the above clear to Jackie, not for his own sake – because he wants to be in a relationship with her – but for hers. From “Prom Night” (1x19) on, Hyde makes many sacrifices for her, putting his emotional and physical safety at risk to protect hers, without an expect or desire for a reward. He does it because he believes it’s the right thing to do.

Hyde’s behavior and M.O. is completely different than Fez’s motives for treating Jackie nicely in seasons 1-3, and they’re in another universe from Kelso’s conditional promises of respect and fidelity in “Kiss of Death,” which turn into blatant hostility when she chooses herself over him.

I think the triangle happening earlier could’ve been quite interesting had it been written with all of the above in mind. With focused and well-thought-out characterization. Jackie would’ve grown leaps and bounds, realizing that she’d projected a fantasy onto both Kelso and Hyde. She might’ve spent some time boyfriendless for a while as she cleared her head. And then made her choice, seeing Hyde and Kelso for whom they actually are.

Hyde would not have treated Jackie like crap because she rejected him. His insecurities on the show about her, post-JBH, stem from the fact that she chases him for months. He falls for her, only for her to go back to Kelso. He feels used by her pre-S5. So when they start their romantic relationship in season 5 after Kelso breaks her heart again, he’s scared that he’s letting himself be used. This fear plagues him throughout season 5. I explored this dynamic, and more aspects to his and Jackie’s psychology based on this dynamic, in both Those ‘70s Comics and my story One Difference: Jackie and Hyde Don’t Kiss (Over the Summer).

The triangle as it exists on the show could’ve been written better and more deeply. So I would’ve been fine with it happening earlier as long as the writing had been on point. More so than it was during season 5.

[jacquelineshyde]

Top 5 Jackie/Hyde moments xD Original, right? lmao

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS. Thank you!

1. “I think it’s a real waste because I love you!”

[[GROSS SOBBING]]

Listen, I already did a long ass meta about the kiss after he makes it clear he forgives her and believes her. But let me tell you some more about this moment:

Jackie is used to get what she wants, no matter what. She is also used to Hyde’s rejection and hard words, but by this point, she has been in love with him in spite of those things for a while. I believe she fell for him before the summer started, it was just somethig that was growing in both of them until it exploded that afternoon in the basement.

She has pined for him, has tried to show her interest in all the ways possible, go out with him, rejected him and then ended deeply in love with him.

When she realizes she has fucked up and she not only hurt his pride, but his heart, she knows she has to be honest and firm. She’s scared to lose him and its shown by the way she tries all the episode to make things clear and understand what is that she is feeling with all this mess. 

Once Jackie realizes the only man for her is back at that nasty basement, she goes right away and decides she has had enough.

Jackie knows him so well. He won’t listen, he needs actions. His insecurities are triggered by his sudden want and love for her, and when he heard her call someone else as her boyfriend and saw her get jealous for someone else, he not only felt betrayed but rejected, he feels like if he isn’t enough. 

He thinks she was using him, when he is opening himelf for the first time and letting himself love and be loved, this happens.

Once she confesses love, he stops his shit and looks at her like if he couldn’t believe any of it. But he has all the signs that she isn’t lying: she went for him, decided to speak for herself, tell the truth (that she still has feelings for Kelso and will have all her life, because he was her first boyfriend anyway, AND THAT’S FUCKING NORMAL, especially at 16 years old) and even as he was rejecting her and treating her bad, she still confesses love.

“I’m not saying it back!”

OH BOY! He is not just implying he feels the same way, by saying this he is also saying “yeah, ok, me too, but I’m NOT saying it!” and she looks at him firm and hard: “I don’t care”. DUDE. Again, this is a girl who has always got all she wanted but she is willing to let go of a love confession if that means he will understand that she loves him, him, not Kelso, not anyone else, but him.

After they kiss and she hugs him, there’s such relief on Hyde’s face and the way he grabs onto her like if he doesn’t want her to go ever again, gosh. God bless.

(gif)

2. “Oh. Nobody I know. Anyway, thanks.”

Not just this smooch is fucking cute as hell, look at their hands and Jackie’s face and the way they lean into each other. Everthing about this scene is not only adorable, but deep, an important moment for their relationship.

They were fighting. She lied to him and he did something honest to god inapropiate at her back, they have this huge fight that could have ended what they already had. 

But even then, he helps, and even then, she tries to protect him (and it works!). She takes the blame for his pot so he won’t be in trouble and this touches him deeply.

Jackie explains to him she did it because she cares about him, and people who cares about each other do those kind of things. He then says and realizes, no one he knows has ever done something like that for him (after the punchline, of course). 

He is the one that does those things (see, him going to jail instead of Jackie), no the other way around.

But suddenly this girl that not only makes him feel ~~stuff~~, but also means so much to him to the point he gets angry if she lies to him about her damn personal problems, wants to protect him and does it without waiting something from him. 

Hyde sees for the first time someone caring so much for him, they would get in trouble if that saves him from that. And it’s beautiful.

The way Hyde grabes her face, and how he kisses her, gosh. This is so damn cute. I love it.

(gif)

3. “HE’S PERFECT!”

Look, I know people loves Hyde worshipping Jackie but my real kink here is Jackie worshipping Hyde, and this little moment gave me all the damn feelings.

Because, he just’ve been rejected by his goddamn fucking biological father after getting the courage enough to contact him and ask to see him. This is a man who was rejected by his mother and adoptive father all his life, who had to be taken by his best friend’s family because his mother abandoned him with nothing but dust and a decaying home. So the second he hears this man thinks so little of him without giving him a damn chance, he is done.

Hyde storming off the place is understandable, but just because he isn’t there, it doesn’t mean nobody will put W.B. on his place. The moment Jackie stands up, I was already cheering when she called out W.B. and yells with such affectionate tone “He’s perfect!” because– BECAUSE HE FUCKING IS TO HER.

It’s so damn beautiful, she is so capable of make it clear she adores this man without him in the room. If she says this to other people, how many times do you think she has overwhelmed the shit out of Hyde while alone? How many times have she make him blush with her words? She’s such a loving woman, of course she would think of him as perfect.

What I love the most is that we don’t often see her give praises to anyone but herself. Right now, I don’t actually remember her calling Kelso perfect either (let alone Fez, sorry not sorry); pretty? sure, but perfect? That’s her Steven.

(gif)

4.  "SHINE, GRASSHOPPER, SHINE”

You know, a lot of people started shipping them when this happened and it’s not only because is a fun moment and episode in general, but because this is Hyde not only being nice to Jackie but letting her know him in a way no one has done before.

This is his way of protection, his version of Zen. This is the way he has build the walls she later takes down herself. So when he decides to teach her his way of protection, he is letting her in and is putting himself in a vulnerable place since she could know now how to destroy his barreries if she wanted.

What is more cool about this, is that she doesn’t. 

She has gain some sort of respect from him by this episode; he has been supporting her during her time without Kelso and has been protecting her too, the building for a friendship between them by this moment is very important and great (such a shame it was dropped in season 3). No wonder why she fell for him.

Besides, this is the moment that gave us our shipname: zenmasters ;)

(gif)

5. “she’s my chick”

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

Let me tell you about this, I enjoyed it so much the first time I saw this episode! I still enjoy it a lot, even with how this season treated my favorite characters and their relationship.

I love everything about this. Not only because my favorite ship goes out with my other favorite ship, like some sort of double date, but because Hyde makes it clear his priority is Jackie and he has no problem showing it. It’s wonderful because he isn’t being ooc and he is being romantic in his own way, and also because is clear that Jackie knows him pretty well.

She says to Kitty that he won’t ditch her, not because she has told him not to, but because she knows the way her boyfriend loves her and that, for Hyde, being with her is what matters when they are together. For the way he acts in this scene, I’m sure he is enjoying himself and the fair pretty much, but he is also enjoying Jackie’s comapny.

Just a few days ago I found out that there was a delated dialogue in which Jackie tells Kitty she hopes he puts extra sugar in the thingy he buys for her, because she forgot to tell him. He does. Hyde knows how Jackie eats her food. MAN, HE KNOWS. It means he has done this before, it means that he puts especial attention to even her food, the way she likes things.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY, is such a cute detail!

And of course, the moment of the moments. Kitty seems to not get this, that Hyde is in love with Jackie and he prefers her company to cars and chicks on cars. When she asks, Hyde doesn’t even blink or even THINKS his answers, because is obvious. Why would he want to expend his time with Jackie on a cars shows? “She’s my chick”.

KSNFIENFINEIFI3.

The thing doesn’t just end there! Jackie’s reaction to his answer is the damn cutest! She is so happy that her Steven calls her that, and she is so proud to call herself his chick, all this moment is so preocious! I love it!

I love this… belonging Hyde and Jackie share with each other, this like good jealousy of feeling like they are it for each other, they belong in each other’s arms, so of course she is his chick and of course she loves being called that, just like he is her Steven.

You see, this is people that has never truly been wanted. That found a home later in life when they had to grow up in empty houses with distant adults (and god knows what horrors in Hyde’s case) that happened to be their parents that never wanted them before.

But they belong together and build a home for themselves in each other’s arms. They are their own family out of two people who genuinely love each other. So yes, of course she is happy he calls her his chick and of course she is happy to call herself his chick.

And seriously… Steven Hyde can be the sweetest guy ever without trying. I mean, look at the beauty of this: he wants to spend the day with her even when they went to see cars! Imagine if writers would have remembered Jackie loves cars and to work with cars! IMAGINE HOW MUCH FUN AND HOW MANY CUTE SHIT WE COULD HAVE HAD FROM THIS SAME EPISODE!

In the end, this is still wonderful for me :) And I mean, look at her face, she’s so happy:

(gifs)

Other moments I love: 

– “I have never felt the way I feel for her before. I’m sorry, Kelso, but I wanna be with her”, says Hyde to one of his best friends who hurt the love of his life and is now trying to get back to her out of some childish jealousy shit. 

– That one time this cutie pie that is Steven Hyde shaved to make her feel better about a very horrible situation she was going through.

– “You’re beautiful”, says Hyde, the man who is afraid of commintment and says he is never getting married, to Jackie, a woman who has wanted to get married and have her own family her whole life, who happens to be the love of his life wearing a wedding dress in front of him.

– “I know that I love Steven because he is smart. And deep. And when we talk, he makes me think– which used to give me a headache, but now I really like”, says Jackie. A girl who has been making herself dumb for her stupid ex-boyfriend, who has been told a million times by her own best friend she’s dumb and her likings and desires are not valid.

[relationshipblr]

Sexuality.

Before realizing that the root to my insecurities was the absence of my father, I took refuge in the arms of a very close friend in middle-school. On weekends where I couldn’t bare arguing with my mother over nonsense, she was a phone-call away. I could tell her my secrets, my dreams, and my mistakes without the worry of my mother ever hearing of them. She was the textbook definition of a best friend. However, my refugee heart began to become so comfortable within her arms that it quickly sought citizenship. I didn’t realize this at the time, but every part of me wanted her. I wanted her happiness, her beauty, her love, and her. With my middle-school brain, I never suspected that that whole time I was truly in love with her. It was only until recently did I realize that those feelings I bore for her were the same I had for guys in my classes. This shift in my sexuality, and my constant questioning to what the hell I was doing, is filled in the lines written by “jacky” who wrote the poem Bisexuality, published in 2014. Like “jacky”, the girl in my life never replaced my love for men but it only added to my kaleidoscope heart. My middle school love wiped my tears when I cried, she protected me from boys when they lied, and she understood my pain when my stepfather died; she was everything I wanted in my father and everything I had lost in my mother. It is then that I realized that I was deeply and truly in love with her. Because of that friend, I was able to leave this world while still staying on the ground for the first time. It wasn’t until later that I began searching for that feeling in other men and women. But still today, and because of her, I have an extremely complicated relationship with my sexuality. 

bisexuality

It all began with a ‘he’ he who said I was pretty  when my face turns sideways and  the right amount of sunlight casts shadows  on the planes of my cheeks he who kissed me in 6th grade  in front of my best friend – whom he used to date,  his lips were cool and moist  moist – it didn’t feel anything. he who requested love songs during our high school intramurals  when all of my friends and all of his friends  cheer us up like we were the sweetest thing they’ve seen. he who danced with me the whole night of our junior prom,  my shoes dangling behind him, my arms and his arms were sweating  he whispers now, “You look beautiful.” he who gave me wilting flowers on the 15th of February  because I skipped school – too scared to face the truth  that no one would do what he just did. He proved me wrong. he who said “I love you” too late. he who said “I love you” too early. He who made me believe that fate, destiny, sparks, forever, and all that bullshit  were real, written in His holy book. Should I still believe in you? he who said would wait – the next month telling me he realized  it wasn’t me he was waiting for. he who told me to stay. he who left. he who never went back. and oh – he he who was never here in the first place. it all began with a “she” she who danced in front of the class  with all her sass, snaps, and we laugh. she whose hair used to be straight  swaying down her waist, flows smoothly when she walks,  falls perfectly down her collarbones. Let’s not start with collarbones. she whose eyelids flutter like butterfly wings  making the ones inside my stomach dance like hummingbird’s wings  her eyelashes are thick, outlining her brown eyes – her perfect brown eyes. she who throws he head back when she laughs  not knowing I drift and crash back to the sea  like a wave thrown back by her chuckles and laughter she who reads and reads tons of books  when she could write about her day  and that’ll still be the greatest stories I could read she who held me close when she stumbles towards the bus station  when she’s drunk she who wanted nothing between us – worried it will not work. but she made the raindrops of yesterday meaningful  so it could wash off all the hurt from everything, from everyone. she who changed me. – no. she who made me face the mirrors I’ve been running away from  all those lies I’ve been hiding alone  all those pain, all those bad memories she washed them all away, like a hurricane   she dragged my whole town with her she who made me forget. she who makes me ache at times but it’s the kind of ache  you’d gladly take – a suffering worth all the suffering she who outshined all of – in the best possible way I could imagine she who made the stars insignificant. It doesn’t end with a ‘he’ It doesn’t end with a ‘she’ it all ends up with a simple ‘who’ that person who will always come through for you I learned that love sometimes doesn’t last that long sometimes it doesn’t even start at all. But I know one thing, you cannot fight it. I don’t know where – maybe in his hands or in her eyes. It will make you move like you have no choice at all – like a puppet stuck tied up and down nylon strings by the puppeteer dictating your life like you have no choice, at all.

[jennylovesjordan-blog]

know.

Well, to be honest, she didn’t expect it to hurt that much. Marco had come back immediately, shouting her name in the middle of the panicking crowd running around the broken billboard, dragging Jackie’s hand with him across the entire Echo Creek. He didn’t find her at home, either, so to say that he’s having a break down is an understatement. No matter how many times Jackie tried to assure him that Star is probably okay - she is a magical princess after all - he didn’t listen and just continued on his searching frenzy. And Star? She was seriously giving her life decisions a second look. Sure, she had expected them to act like a couple since they are an item now, aren’t they? Hugs and holding hands and stuff are a natural thing to do when you’re dating, she knew, but a kiss? She—she…

…let’s just say she hadn’t expected it to stung that much. “Star? STAR!” She could hear him screaming her name, panicky concern in his voice. It made her eyes well up despite the ridiculousness of this situation; she had brought this on herself, after all. She was fine with it, with them, she kept telling herself that it was too late, it was for nothing, she could bear with it, right? If only for his happiness. She could do it for him, even if her heart felt like it might rip apart. She had had that scary moment when she couldn’t control her magic (now that she looks back at it, the beam of magic was green and not its usual flirty pink color) and honestly, it terrified her. She had lost almost everything; her spell book, Glossaryck, the history of her entire family… Even if her parents reassured her a million times that it’s fine, it’s no problem; they can fix it, she couldn’t help but feel this guilt looming over her head, the lingering sense of depression and absolute worthlessness that had been chased away by lip-sync nights with Marco over Just Friends and Too Little Too Late is coming back, making her losing her mind. And now, she can't— She can’t lose Marco too. It felt kind of pathetic, now that she thought about it. Sitting here, at the rock bottom of Echo Creek and feeling like the scum of the earth, trying not to cry her eyes out. It's—it’s terrible, how much she missed his hugs, even if they are all platonic and sweet. His loving, protective touches, even if they are as light as feathers. His smile, the bright shining sun in her darkest days. The way he would let himself loose whenever she’s around— The pure, unadulterated joy in his eyes whenever he looks at Jackie. It hurts more than she would ever admit. What would’ve been different if she hadn’t invited Jackie today? Nothing much, except for the fact that he would’ve been with her instead, would’ve held her hands and they would’ve had some fun together, no? But the fact that he did do all of those things with her made her even more confused and her descend into madness even faster. She—she didn’t know how to feel. Don’t get it wrong, she loves Jackie; the girl was as cool as a well practiced narwhal blast. But seeing her there with him, doing all the things Star herself used to do with Marco made this unexplainable feeling bubble at the bottom of her stomach. It’s not jealousy, that much she knew, but it’s not something unrelated either. Heh—she had really lost it, hadn’t she? And surprisingly enough, the ducks didn’t help her much. “It’s just—” she gestured wildly with her hands, at a complete lost for words, “I’m happy for them—I am, don’t you dare question me—but like, they could’ve done it somewhere more discreet, you know. Marco didn’t have to hold my hand the entire time he was making out with Jackie, either. Like, I know I gave it up already; no need to rub it in my face,” she sighed when the duck merely hissed at her (can ducks even hiss?) Welp, so this is how it is. Sitting under a bridge, curled up into herself and blabbing to ducks about her life problems. There goes the famous Princess Star Butterfly. God, when did she become so piteous?

He wasn’t sure how much of an imbecile could he be.

He knew—Marco Diaz fucking knew—that something was wrong the second Star left the seat next to him and run up to the stage. Her smile had been incredibly forced, but he didn’t call her out on it. He knew that he had made her feel uncomfortable. The awkwardness that had never been in their friendship before surfaced earlier in the concert and he noticed—God he noticed. But he didn’t do anything about it. He was screaming her name the second that billboard exploded in a cloud of green magic. He knew—he fucking knew…

He needed to find her. 

Well, it’s time to go home she guessed. It was dark and cold, and the lady who sells hair still creeps her out. Star sighed deeply and pulled out the pair of dimensional scissors, not ready to walk through the front door and face her best friend.

The scissors…

…She should probably give them back to him. They’re his, after all. And—and she couldn’t have them. She couldn’t have anything, could she? She cut open the fabric of reality and created a portal straight to her room. Dark. It was dark and lonely and— She missed Marco already. God, how was she supposed to live without him? Her plan was to go back to Mewni and just—stay there; she had caused him more than his fair share of trouble. But now, being here alone in the vast space of her own room… It—it made her feel broken. Hollow and angry at herself and worthless and self-loathing. Was—was this her punishment? For not telling him her feelings sooner? She was just trying to protect their friendship—it was too valuable a thing for her to lose. She could—she could be just friends with him, right? As long as she gets to stay by his side. Star, you idiot. You can’t stay—Marco’s suffering because of you. He constantly risks his life for you, and you still want more? What’s wrong with letting him date Jackie? At least she didn’t pull him into a deadly adventure for her own gains. What did you ever do for him besides almost getting him killed? That—that’s not true—Marco is my best friend and he loves me— Who are you trying to fool? Face it, Butterfly, you’re nothing but a burden to him. If you love him—really love him, then free him from a disaster such as yourself. And she felt inadequate. Insecurity was always Marco’s problem, not hers. She was always there to cheer him up and reassure him that he matters. So who will cheer her up? No one, that’s it. Nothing. Left with an empty soul, a cleaved wand and a heart devoid of emotions. Could she be more pathetic?

“S-Star?” he knocked gently on the door. No answer, but he knew better than that. “Star, I know you’re in there. Can-can we talk?” She was as quiet as a statue. And the door was locked. Dammit. “Look, I know I made you, um, uncomfortable. I get it. And I’m sorry, and I promise it won’t happen again,” he choked a bit on the promise and it made her heart clenched painfully, “Now can you please open the door? Just let me check on you? I saw that green magic blast and for the love of God, Star, I was worried sick,” his voice was nothing but tender loving care and she could feel herself crying, “Wait, are you crying? Are-are you okay? Are you hurt? Why did you blast the billboard? God, did Ludo come for your wand again? Star? Star, open the door!” She was sobbing now and she knew he could hear it but she didn’t care, “Star, please. I will break it down if I have to, I swear.” he paused for a little as if he’s contemplating something, “If-If you don’t want to see me I’ll ask Mom to come up and check on you? I-I sent Jackie home already so please, just—just let me in—” He sounded so desperate she wondered why he was even doing this. It’s pointless, it’s all pointless. She was selfish and dirty and she couldn’t believe she was jealous over her best friend’s happiness and she didn’t deserve him and why didn’t he just leave her alone— The lock buckled again when he tried to shake it out of place and she panicked. “D-Don’t come in!” The shaking stopped immediately at her words and she sighed in relief. “I-I’m not hurt, Marco,” her voice was an octave higher than usual but again, she didn’t care, “I’m just, um, relaxing. Yeah, relaxing! The hype at the concert got me good, you know? Just chilling a bit to cool off and then I’ll be good as new. No need to worry about me, heheh,” she forced out a laugh and it was painful. But if it gives him reassurance… She would do anything. He was deathly quiet now, and she was scared. Scared that he had left already. Scared that he had abandoned her, that she had just done something wrong and he hates her now, and how could she—how could she— “Star,” he whispered softly on the other side and she perked up slightly, “Why are you lying to me?” He sounded small and heartbroken and so vulnerable it made her wanted to kick the door open and just hug him, hug all the stupid depression out of him for his kind and bright smile to return. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. So she cried instead. “I know,” he told her softly, “that you don’t exactly like me dating Jackie. Don’t think that I’m that oblivious—even if I am I can still read you like a book. I know you, Star Butterfly. I know when you’re distressed, uncomfortable, or those moments when you would put on a strong face no matter how powerless you feel. Everyone else would be fooled but I wouldn’t. Because I know.” She really shouldn’t be crying this much. “But what I don’t know is what makes you like that. So please, Star, tell me. You know I’ll always listen, always understand—or at least try to understand. I want to help. Please, you know I’m always here for you. Like how you are always there for me.” “Can you open up to me?” Of course. But she couldn’t.

So yeah I don’t really write ficlets for individual episodes like this but Just Friends is different. I’ve been through this hell and let me tell you, having an unrequited crush on your best friend who is datin another one of your friend is just depressing, guys.

So have an almost 2k drabble finished at 1:30 am. Sorry not sorry.

[cinema-tv-etc]

The Dawn of Television Promised Diversity. Here’s Why We Got “Leave It to Beaver” Instead

Using original archival research and FBI blacklist documents, professor Carol A. Stabile pieces together the intersectional narratives that never made it on air. Smithsonian Magazine   Jackie Mansky

When “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” went back on the air for its final season in 2018 it was a triumphant curtain call for showrunners Aline Brosh McKenna and Rachel Bloom, who have spent the last three seasons lovingly unpacking the television show’s titular “crazy-ex,” and the oddball characters who inhabit her universe, under the rallying cry put forth in the show’s original theme song: “The situation is a lot more nuanced than that.”

If it feels like a small miracle that the ambitious musical-comedy-drama-you-name-it-it’s-not-supposed-to-fit-into-one-box show even made it on air, well, it almost didn’t. After Showtime opted not to move forward with the pilot, the project, termed a “risky proposition,” had to be saved by a pick-up from sibling network the CW. 

Now a critical darling, “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” is part of a new class of television shows, including the likes of “Insecure,” “Jane the Virgin,” “Chewing Gum” and “Transparent” that share a mission to deconstruct the tropes set forth by television shows past. An opening salvo: diversifying the writer’s room. But for all the work these shows have done subverting the narratives traditionally told from the straight white male point of view, something deeply frustrating underpins their existence—the promise of what could have been on television decades earlier.

At the start of the Cold War, a prominent group of women, who had worked their way up in broadcast media in the 1930s and ’40s, were poised to use the new medium of television to create the kind of inclusive, intersectional content that is only today finding traction. Then, the blacklist, a vicious, hearsay-riddled manifest of Hollywood talent with ties to Communism, silenced their creative output. It effectively turned back on the dial of progressive representations on TV by decades.

 “It's hard for me to watch things and to hear about [today’s] writers and directors talk about their work without thinking about that earlier generation,” says Carol A. Stabile, a professor of women’s gender and sexuality studies at the University of Oregon and the author of the newly released book, The Broadcast 41: Women and the Anti-Communist Blacklist.

A much-needed addition to television scholarship, The Broadcast 41 uses original archival research and FBI documents to piece together the stories of the 41 women named on the list.

 “The diverse group of people who are making television right now, these are the people that the Broadcast 41 dreamed of; they’re the people that they had hoped would be a more immediate future of television,” Stabile says.

Her book started with a question. A while back, she wondered: Why was it that when politicians talked about family values, they never used images of their own family? Instead, they used images pulled from television. “That's really weird, right?” she says. “The reference for family values is always this kind of mythic TV family.” She termed it the “Leave It to Beaver” syndrome, in reference to the 1950s program featuring a wholesome, suburban white family. “All these white [politicians], generations of them, had watched the sitcoms and watched reruns of the sitcoms, and they were really attached to them.”  

 It got her thinking, where did these sitcoms stem from? Were they reflecting the reality at the moment when television was just getting started? No, she found out, as she began her research; the situation really was a lot more nuanced than that. She started to unravel the stories of the women who were working in media industries at the end of World War II, some of whom, she realized, were very powerful. These successful career women produced content far different than the kind of sitcom representations of the world—of the career man, the housewife and their two children—that people wax nostalgic about today. And then, those women disappeared from the scene. “Why was that?” she wondered. The answer, she realized, was the blacklist.

  “You can't read about that moment, or think about that moment, without thinking about the impact of what happened in 1950,” says Stabile.

 1950 was the year that the American Business Consultants, comprised of former FBI agents, published the infamous book Red Channels: The Report of Communist Influence in Radio and Television. The unscrupulous organization—whose ostensible purpose was “exposing the ramifications of the Communist party”— racked up many abuses, including spying on individuals, printing lies in its publication Counterattack and impersonating active FBI agents. 

Even the FBI’s New York Field Office called the American Business Consultants “highly unethical, irresponsible” and concluded they “should not be countenanced.” Despite that, the bureau did not put a stop to their activities. This was the rise of the Red Scare, after all. "Whatever the actual arrangement between the American Business Consultants and the Bureau," Stabile writes, "by 1949, the two groups had 'straighten[ed] out' any conflicts." The following year, the American Business Consultants published Red Channels, effectively ruining the careers and lives of those listed in it.

“This book, Red Channels, was known as the bible of the backlist,” Stabile explains. Of the 151 names it included, 41 were women. That felt like a large number to her, and so she began to dig into their lives and work in an attempt to understand the “threat” that they posed. 

 As she researched, she unearthed a prominent group of New Y0rk-based women who boldly challenged racist and sexist representation in media. “Things that we consider now to be intersectional, all of this was in the air in the 1930s and 1940s,” says Stabile. “There were queer women, cis-gender women, women of color doing these incredible things in theater, in radio.” She cites, for instance, Fredi Washington, an actress and journalist, who starred in an all-black cast theatrical production of Aristophanes' Lysistrata. “Something like that wouldn’t see the light of day again until Spike Lee’s [retelling in 2015’s] Chi-Raq,” she says. 

 Names you likely know are included on the list—the Dorothy Parkers, Lena Hornes and Lillian Hellmans of the world. But there are many names you probably haven’t heard of, either, like the Mexican-American actress and dancer Maria Margarita Guadalupe Teresa Estella Castilla Bolado y O’Donnell Alpert, who after being pushed out of the industry found a successful second life in arts education. Stabile also recounts the work that could have been—like writer Vera Louise Caspary's unaired pilots for "Apartment 3-G," which revolved around three single girls, and "The Private World of the Morleys," which followed the story of a woman striving to become a surgeon.

 The backlash against progressives in media spared no one, Stabile says. Even those who weren’t named, like Gertrude Berg, the pioneering force behind “The Goldbergs,” suffered. Her show, first on radio and then television, was beloved for providing an insightful look at what life was like for Jewish-Americans. In the wake of the anti-communist fervor, though, “The Goldbergs” became a devastating example of self-censorship, where producers and writers suddenly stopped writing about “anything that might bother people,” as Berg put it herself. Her character, who once provided such a complex take on the immigrant experience, was reduced to a punchline. 

When Stabile first started conceptualizing The Broadcast 41, she originally conceived it as case studies of several of the named women. But the more she researched, the more she wanted to use the sheer volume of them to make her argument. “That's a powerful block of women in the industry in New York City,” she says. She didn’t want to indirectly frame them as the exceptional woman of history, instead she sought to fold their story into the larger arc of women’s struggles. “This is a story about the collective loss of that group of really diverse women,” she says.        

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-dawn-of-television-promised-diversity-here-s-why-we-got-leave-it-to-beaver-instead?utm_source=pocket-newtab

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