#jasnstilnski

[mvncesa]

no, no, no, don't leave me! please! / @ decker

"Okay, okay." Voice softened in an attempt to soothe the younger.

Decker tried his best to make himself smaller as he settled back on the edge of the couch. An attempt to give Jason as much space as he needed. It wasn't a bed, sure, but the wolves had tried their best to make it into something comfortable for the other. All the spare blankets and pillows that they had in the house to make it something akin to a bed.

"Our room is just at the hall-" Less than six feet from the couch, too. "You'll be okay."

[khozmoh]

❝ i shit you not, this carnival has the best fucking road shack burger and chips you'll ever fucking have, ❞ sleep had evaded cosmo for two days and counting, with visible shadows under his eyes cosmo looked like death rolled over but that didn't stop him from ushering jason through the various tents and stalls offering between sideshow acts, handcrafted merchandise, tarot readings and all other manner of entertainments.

❝ they glaze the fucking bun and i don't know what the hell is in the sauce but i'm pretty sure it's crack, ❞ cosmo paused for a half a breath, absently wondering to himself if jason's drug of choice had been crack, he hoped not, ❝ either way, you're gonna like it, ❞ // @jasnstilnski , the boys are back in town .

[tr4umaborn]

" jase. . . you know you can tell me anything, right? " @jasnstilnski was almost always hiding something. he'd grown used to needing to either pry or spy to know what's actually happening in his son's life. it's not jase's fault, just like it wasn't tj's fault when he found himself in similar situations. " we can't help you if you don't let us in. " those words never helped him, would they help jase? even as he settles next to him on the couch with a half a sandwich for each of them to eat while they're talking he's not so sure. but he's never been all that good at this part of being a caretaker.

[contradictivs]

“I’m going to murder his fucking face off!”

"Ooh," Ryder drawled with a little grin, "What he'd do?"

He took a bite out of the waffle that he had snatched off of the counter before leaning into the other's personal space. Simply peering over Jason's shoulder to get a glance at his phone. Maybe he should have been more concerned about the fact that Jason was talking about murdering someone but he thought that it was fine. For now. He might have been waiting for a clear sign that he should be concerned but for right now? He was treating it like it was some high school drama.

"Do we hate him now?"

[springthings]

@jasnstilnski.

he’s gentle as he colors in the messy drawing of a landscape, something typical of someone ten years his junior, though he’s doing the best he can. hand lifts, reaches for the other colors. he hovers over white a moment before quickly moving to the grey pencil. “i don’ like white.” spoken matter-of-factly as he starts to scribble grey where the clouds should be. “i’s the same as th’ walls in th’ lab where they tortur’d me when i was small.” and he just continues to color as if what he just said wasn’t a big deal. just switches to the yellow pencil and colors in the sun in the corner of the page.

        " those are good words, jase. " she hums, as her attention falls from half on the picture to all on jason- but that had to be skewed more to his direction, somehow. the more time she spent around him, the better she got at being attentive, not so much floaty -she finds there's been progress since the last time either of them had spoken, because jason likes quiet and allie sees no reason why not. " it's kinda' plain, " she scrunches her nose, nodding her head as she agrees, continuing. " too clean, like, sterile. i get it. " but ... " but it doesn't have to be. " she picks up the white pencil from where he had skipped over it, twirling it between her fingers. " white's the color of bunnies, and summer sundresses, and sparkly snow, and sugar donuts, and daisies and you like all of those things. " she shrugs, then, setting the pencil down. and colors the leaves of her flowers green. " but i don't like black or red, very much, 'cept i dunno' why, 'cause i'm not as good at, like, sorting out my feelings as you. "

        " do you wanna' try something different? " she dances to another focus, just in case he didn't like the last one. " i'm not, like, really good at drawing, but i like to color! " she shows him the coloring page she was working on, far more detailed than one for a child. " i think you're doing really good with your pencils, and, anyways, you don't have to worry if you break one. i got tons more. "

[loetise]

important dynamics.  ˎˊ˗             aka, my own version of the ‘affiliation’ trend. these are muses and dynamics that are important to allie and help to shape who she is as a person. kind of also an appreciation post for my friends for putting up with me, some of these have been in the making for more than a year and all of them feature extensive plotting. please do not feel left out if our dynamic is more recent and not here, all of my dynamics are extremely important to me, these are the ones that i’ve had for a long time and/or plotted a bunch with. you do not need to follow these blogs to get a better grasp of allie’s story, but i might mention them in threads if it is appropriate. these dynamics are pretty much ‘canon’ for allie, with the exception of romantic relationships that exist in their own verse and would conflict with others. these dynamics are specifically for her main verse and the city based variant, i have more planned in a separate post for her other verses, which has a lot of muses not featured in this one.

main verse.

audrey rose, @celestiel.    audrey is allie’s best friend since high school, they grew up together, cheered together on the cheerleading team, and continued being close even after high school and after allie had left for six months. audrey was the person she was closest with in high school, and one of the only people that truly cared about her. audrey pushes allie to be more confident and value her self worth, as well as give her constant support. 

kieran night, @heroanti.    kier is pretty much allie’s soulmate. they are very much an ‘endgame’ kind of ship, they love each other endlessly. they live together in her cottage and just the company helps allie immensely, but more than that, kier helps her grow. there is hardly a moment when they are apart, and space is given when needed, but allie knows that she’s never truly alone and the thought is comforting to her. she is less anxious, though she still has her moments, and is much more healthy, she takes care of herself better and engages in less risky behavior.

akllasqa mamáni, @khronoes.    toxic codependent girlfriends, though allie’s largely aware of the toxicity. she loves aklla, though aklla has a tendency to treat her like an unwanted pet, or a lab rat on occasion because she knows allie will agree to pretty much anything she says. allie eventually gets pushed away by aklla enough and leaves without saying goodbye, pretty much disappearing.

udyati rao, @dvarapala.    allie’s baff (best alien friend forever!), udyati and allie are fairly similar in a lot of ways, though udyati is a little bit tougher and has been through things that made her that way. allie and udyati also go on a lot of adventures together due to udyati’s access to doors to other universes, and the ability to create them. most of their adventures are simple things, just spending time together or doing ‘normal girl’ stuff, but they support each other through everything and make each other feel loved.

olivia jensen, @celestiel.    another one of allie’s best friends, though a distinctly different vibe from udyati or audrey. liv was more distrust when they first met, definitely more of an ‘opposites attract’ scenario, but liv eventually warmed up to allie and now she is a lot more open with herself and her feelings. liv and allie are adventure buddies, but in a different way. they tend to get into mischief together. sometimes the illegal kind.

willow w., @unpossession.    close and cherished friend! willow and allie have similar hearts, but willow is more introverted and shy, and they have a close bond because of their similarities. however, during their friendship, allie began to fall for her, and willow didn’t fall for her as intensely as allie did. after willow goes through a traumatic event, she disappears for a long period of time which worries allie so much she feels like she’s falling apart. when willow returns, allie gets incredibly clingy and hardly leaves her alone, which doesn’t help with allie’s feelings.

jason brenner stilinski-hammond, @rotturn.    allie considers jason like a little brother, and makes herself a safe person for him to be around because his powers can’t harm her like they can a human. he has made many attempt to push her away and she refused to let him, and now they are both doing much better, though jason feels guilt for how he treated her in the past.

corinne delacroix, @rosewiltd.    corinne and allie both have a strong love for flowers, though allie a little more intense, which is originally what brought them together as friends, but now they share a bond that is close enough to be sisterly due to how they understand each other. allie frequently shows corinne how to care for flowers, and corinne reads her stories.

serena carlisle, @wihlted.    soft girlfriends! allie and serena are close because of that softness and their hearts, though their backgrounds are as different as can be. allie frequently visits serena’s ballet lessons, as well, because she loves to watch her in her element. allie has also whisked serena away to the woods for long amounts of time on multiple occasions, rendering her missing from the rest of the world.

nicholas cohen, @celestiel.   nick and allie had been friends when one of her close friends, jade, had dated him, though jade and her had always had a bit of a rocky friendship. after jade and nick broke up, nick and allie had gotten closer. closer to the point of betraying jade and falling for nick. her promised her songs about her, to take her with him and his band and allie fell for it. anytime they were together, she felt amazing. but when they’re apart, allie feels immense guilt for what she has done with nick without jade knowing.

cosmo stilinski, @khozmoh.    another opposites attract scenario, cosmo and allie met after he moved out of beacon hills, and were originally just sort of party buddies, going clubbing together and such. and while it took a while for him to warm up to her and trust her, he eventually did and they began dating. allie and cosmo both struggle with nightmares and are able to help each other with them by being a safe space. allie helps cosmo with his supernatural sight as well, making the horrors he sees go away for a little while when she’s around.

lucas north, @spynorth.    allie originally approaches lucas to help her find his mother, but he takes her under his wing, sort of, after he sees her naivety and approach on life in comparison to him being very much the opposite. eventually, they stop looking for her mother primarily and allie considers him a dear friend, though she doesn’t know much about him beyond him being a spy and nice to her, sort of like an older brother. lucas thinks he’s her secret service.

ruby of crims, @redheart​​.    another one of allie’s toxic codependent girlfriends, except this time there’s a little bit more of a mutual dependency, at least for spending time together. allie and ruby spent a lot of time at ruby’s mothers clubs, and allie began to follow ruby around like a lost puppy. ruby entertained allie and played with her feelings for a while because she liked the attention. however, after she met her boyfriend mat hatter, she left allie behind.

city.

josiah bryant, @celestiel.    josiah and allie have worked at the same flower shop since they were tweens, and when allie’s mother left, he stayed by her side and supported her that day as well as everyday after that. they had been close friends even before they started dating because of all of the things they have in common, and their connection only deepened when they revealed their feelings for each other. their relationship is very soft and sweet and they are very affectionate with each other, as well as a little bit silly.

lois lane, @loisjoanne.    lois adopts allie around the age of 14 after allie ventures into the city of metropolis and they meet and get close immediately. while allie has boarding school back at home, her and lois called regularly, and allie visited as much as she could when she didn’t have school. once allie graduated, she was able to spend much more time with her, and moves to the city near where lois lives.

[narrativedoomed]

anyway in case anyone has struggled to keep up

@camptw1nk - kurt from fe.ar str.eet 1978, highest activity

@jasnstilnski - fandomless original character, inactive thanks to being shadowbanned

@pear1ridge - original lore based multimuse, technically inactive thanks to a shadowban but cassie and tate are on my mind always anyway

@narrativedoomed - multifandom multimuse, super low activity on tumblr but always open to talking/writing on discord or just getting something going on here and bringing activity back

@eucharistcunningham - ch.rissy from str.ang.er thi.ngs, super headcanon based barely canon and not affiliatetd with the fandom, low activity 'cause i dont know how to start new blogs

@quintennyson - gifmaking blog, doesnt exist unless i have something specific i wanna gif

[pyreshe]

repost & list 6 songs that inspire you to write your muse

arsonist's lullabye - hozier

seven - taylor swift

uneven odds - sleeping at last

new constellations - ryn weaver

strong - pjao musical

ready now - dodie

& list 6 quotes that inspire you to write your muse

“ I saw the sun. So much - power and fire and rage inside of her, enough to burn the world and leave it nothing but desert. But to look at her, oh - It was too much for most. But it seemed so still, so stable. But it wasn’t calm. It was just - distant “ - jonathan sims

"What I really wanted to say was that a monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once." - ocean vuong

"i am the good news - consider me the burning bush. you're damn right I’m on fire; I’ve been carrying the sun on my spine intending to light the way" - roya marsh

"Courage, dear heart" - cs. lewis

“I said to the sun, ‘Tell me about the big bang.’ The sun said, ‘it hurts to become.” - andrea gibson

"“Safer to be feared than loved,” I said. “Machiavelli,” she crowed, and skipped ahead laughing—whether in a mocking gesture of her age or genuine youthful energy, I couldn’t tell. “How do you know that?” I was impressed, and liking her more every minute. A smart, fucked-up little girl. Sounded familiar. “I know tons of things I shouldn't know.”" - gillian flynn

tagged by @arcticrime tagging @romuolus, @crem8, @s4ints (blorbo of choice <3), @somneiroi, @jasnstilnski, @dehddie, @riselazarus, @springthings and u!!

[kurthorton-moving]

𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 of 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐓: 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟖. heavily headcanon based, practically an oc. written by quin, 25, he / they, nz. HEAVILY TRIGGERING CONTENT. frequent mentions of abuse, gore, manipulation and eating disorders. beta editor only.

rules & info. headcanons. prompts.

heavily affiliated with @insidi0sum, @hcllowcd, @accidntals, @ripvirgin.

also found on: @victim9d, @jasnstilnski, @narrativedoomed.

[mvncesa]

"i'm so cold." @ decker

He seemed to shift closer to the younger male at the mere sound of his voice. Jason had become a familiar presence among the household and the wolves' lives — To the point of Decker seeming to instinctively move to comfort him at the slightest sign of discomfort from the kid.

"I told you to bring a jacket out." Dark eyes flickered toward Jason before flicking up in the direction of the house. "I'm sure Sobieski will give you his once he comes down."

[khozmoh]

𝚄𝙽𝙷𝙷𝙷𝙷,  𝙴𝙿𝚂  𝟷-𝟼𝟶 ↳↳  —  𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳,  𝚔𝚎𝚢𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍  @jasnstilnski

“i’m  so  scared  of  bees.”

          ❝  i'm  sorry,  bees?  ❞  cosmo  asked  incredulously.  he  had  seen  jason  light  himself  on  fire  against  armed  gunmen  and  monsters  but  bees  were  where  he  drew  the  line?  cosmo  tried  not  to  laugh.  he  swallowed  thickly  and  nodded  as  if  he  understood,  ❝  you  know  .  .  .  bees  groom  each  other  and  talk  by  dancing,  ❞

[tr4umaborn]

** IMPORTANT INFO RE: TJ HAMMOND

a study in. drug abuse / addiction,  self harm,  suicidal ideation / attempts,  over dosing,    bipolar I disorder  (  which includes mania episodes,  heavy depressive episodes,  anxiety,  and minor psychosis breaks  ),  bdsm / submissive behaviors,  sex as a coping mechanism,  in being the bad twin,  the nature of growing up addicted,  undiagnosed mental illness, the golden gay, an opposite role model, making music until your fingers bleed, the minor chord, living fast dying young

full name. thomas james hammond also known as. tj, teej, golden boy date of birth. 02 / 19 / 1984 age. 38 zodiac. pisces sun / libra moon / leo rising gender. male (ish) pronouns. he / they romantic orientation. homoromantic sexual orientation. homosexual occupation. pianist / influencer / model species. human birthplace. raleigh, north carolina, united states current home. new york city, ny, us nationality. he's never asked beyond being american ethnicity. just another dumbass white boy language(s). english parents. president elain barrish, former president bud hammond siblings. twin brother - douglas hammond other family members. lydia martin - basically a sister thanks significant other + children.  canon: mieczyslaw stilinski-hammond (husband) @mieczlw jason stilinski-hammond (son) @jasnstilnski the bee and jenna cinematic universe: antonio dominico marcus rizzotti marvel au: bucky barnes @whtwclf faceclaim. thomas doherty hair. brown + short eyes. baby blues height. 6 ft build. as an addict: too skinny for his own good when sober: muscular from getting addicted to the gym dominant hand. left scars. one of his left arm from the singular time he shot up, plenty of scars on his chest and back for boys who were too rough both in the bedroom and in the bar tattoo. many small pieces in easily coverable places piercings. one on his right ear, many on his left ear, had an eyebrow piercing decided against it, nose stud and septum vurrent positive traits. sensitive, whimsical, romantic, charming, artistic, gentle, love of beauty and harmony negative traits. gullible, gregarious, dependent, cagey likes. giving and receiving gifts, sweets, coffee, massages, cocaine (unfortunately), fuck boys (even more unfortunately) dislike. being wrong, being proven wrong, fears & phobias. disappointment, drowning wishes & dreams. to not be in the spotlight because of his family, but instead because of himself. mbit. ESFP - The Entertainer moral alignment. neutral evil enneagram type. type 3 - the achiever

biography.

 THE GOLDEN SON  𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. now imagine the feeling of floating away into the nether reaches of space. imagine the way slipping up into the air would make you feel – do you feel the air around you at all? is there enough oxygen to make the trip sliding up through the sky and into the unknown worth it? or will the whole experience just leave you clawing at your own skin because it’s burning from the inside out without the attentive oxygen filling up your pores?

the headline read : 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐲 but there’s nothing golden about the downward decent into enveloping madness. he was not born mad ( and really is anyone? ) but had the madness set upon him by the events that took place. born ninety seconds before his twin brother douglas, thomas james hammond was smiling when he came out into the world. it may be hard to tell now, but from that first moment he has always known that he wanted to experience all that life had to offer. the happiness didn’t end much at all in the first ten years of his life ( except for when it did, but according to doctors he was simply a growing boy with a growing mind ). even through the first campaign and moving into the white house ( seven year olds still in awe that they have this much space to play in ) his smile stayed so strong. there were things that made it even brighter : his brother, his mama, telling stories with a flashlight under the blanket long past their bedtime. but there was one thing that kept him happy, kept the madness at bay when it threatened to show its burning head.

music never wanted to kill him. while it may be an artist’s curse to feel everything so fucking fully, it isn’t the art form that grabbed him with sharp jaws. he picked up his first piece of sheet music at three years old, and everyone in the family broke out the camcorders. 𝐨𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫 they’d say as he banged tiny fingers on keys. those tiny fingers grew into the keys. passion and music weaved together, only those within his most inner circle allowed to see what really showed. books upon books begin to get filled through the years. music notes that look like water as they swim across the pages of score sheets. his happiness isn’t dependent on his music, but his music has always and will always provide him with natural serotonin that he chases after in the powder of small bags.

fear and loathing keep him from doing well in school. doug is the favorite twin with grades and extra curriculars that fill out the resume how every college wishes it would. he’ll go to princeton or yale or harvard or wherever the fuck he wants and tj instead knows exactly where he’s headed ( 𝐬𝐢𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 ) but his steps to get there are the difficult part. first he must survive high school : where his best friends are snow and addie. they provide the blanket of protection he needs when he finds himself on the wrong side of his first tmz article.

the first son is a fag? it didn’t say that, but when he read it it really may as well have. the world plucked him from the closet just before y2k ; a fifteen year old boy with a life sentence. first came tmz, then the times article, and then before he knew it he’s suddenly the country’s most famous gaybie. to america that makes him their sweetheart, but the world never knows what sweethearts do when they’re craving sweet tarts.

the same year he found himself on the wrong side of a conversation. while the world doesn’t know it, having your father be the 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚 really makes these trying times much easier to keep undisclosed, he knows the truth of it all. the good ole boy’s private school couldn’t have a drug addicted slut making a bad name for their school, so they banished him to the other realm. or you know. . . expelled him. he finds himself in the countryside of france for the next two years where catholicism is the ruling decree and drug addicts rule the halls. it’s here he rules the school with charlotte arnold by his side, and cross my heart and hope to die those two are a dangerous duo.

college isn’t for everyone, but for a hammond it is an expectation. he’ll start his education one place, and eventually end it in another. the location doesn’t matter : after all there are phones on cameras and street corners now. his antics can destroy his life no matter what he ends up. wherever he is, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬.

 COCAINE DREAMS  and what about the snow? playing in the white confection as the world keeps spinning around you. it’s comfortable, holding you and keeping you warm when the world outside is desperately freezing. why wouldn’t you jump into it’s open arms that widen more for you? it doesn’t feel good to leave it’s grasp so you stay there. where you are wanted. where you are needed. 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝.

he feels everything so fully that even empathy doesn’t cover it. with elders describing his symptoms as a side effect of drug abuse, tj knows the symptoms came first. 𝐢𝐟 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 ( and if only when he screamed it was outside of his mind ) they wouldn’t feel the pain of every time he runs. snow opens her beautiful arms for him and through out his twenties he jumped too far into her arms. some moments were easy – someone at a party helped him sleep it off or his few friends gave him the space to grieve the loss of his sanity. other moments hurt more – nearly dying in a crackhouse in canada just over the border line from buffalo. or the time he thought a bottle of downers was a bottle of uppers and sent himself spiraling more when trying to fix his own problems. he’ll hurt those he loves with every gram that goes up his nose.

after tj and doug turned 24, elaine barrish hammond began her first campaign for president. in a never shocking turn of events, people seemed more interested in a third term of bud ( even though they knew the scandals he locked in his closet ) instead of elaine. he doesn’t care ; after all, a tour de usa means he can find a fuck in all 50 states. they want to use him as a puppet like always? not a person, not a son, but a 𝐭𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞.

she ends up secretary of state, and tj ends up with a forced residency in dc once again. at 25 years old he is beginning to 𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠. no one notices when republican senator sean reeves of ohio begins to steal glances at the ex first son. what’s worse is the reciprocation. tj on the wrong end of those glances turns into allowing someone to devour him whole while knowing he’ll spit him up and throw him out. the details of his sobriety, and his happiness, are unfortunately unimportant ( after all, they come at the hands of a false idol ) and instead the focus shifts to the inevitable ending. our sweetheart feels the false love ooze from every pore ; it leaves him as the tears spill from his red rimmed eyes. there’s a car, and a garage, and it’s all he can think to do in a split second. how might a mother, who loves her children with all of her heart despite how she hurts them so, feel when she finds her son no longer inhaling fumes because he’s passed out? ask elaine barrish.

no one knows for over a year, names and pseudonyms being confused and dispersed. forced sobriety normally didn’t work for tj, but this time rehab seemed to get through to him. he can maintain a sense of sobriety, nothing that’s considered illegal or prescribed to others, until 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤. the puppet is now a pawn, an article being published on the suicide attempt of america’s sweetheart. he watches the story unfold on the news while sharing a straw to soak up snow on his dealer’s couch.

the rest of his life will never look the same. he realizes that sobriety is a privilege he has to work for. feeling everything makes the lows lower and the highs higher. when no one will name it ( maybe one day a doctor will say the word bipolar to him outloud ) how can you treat it? mania gives him excitement, but with it comes his chest being ripped to shreds by his own mind. 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭?

[contradictivs]

“You were sick. I didn’t want to leave you.” 

"I wasn't that sick." Despite the words, the blonde did not move from where he was curled up against the couch. He was not sure how long he had been asleep for -- To be completely honest, he did not remember when he fell asleep. He barely even remembered when he and Jason had even gotten home. Another second dragged by before he peeked an eye out from where he had tried his best to bundle himself into a blanket burrito. A sharp tug was given in an attempt to dislodge Jason from where he was in an attempt to steal the blanket from beneath him.

"But you decided to try and smother me instead?" The words were grumbled again before he was wrapping it around his shoulders. "You're gonna get sick, too, then."

[tjhmnd]

independent , private , selective , mutually exclusive      TJ HAMMOND      of the political animals 2012 miniseries.  mun //  bee.  31.  she/her.  21+ ONLY.  heavily    affiliated    with    @mieczlw​    and    @jasnstilnski​ and @xkingpin ​ and @whtwclf. blog uses beta editor!

ᴀɴ  ᴇ x ᴘ ʟ ᴏ ʀ ᴀ ᴛ ɪ ᴏ ɴ  ᴏꜰ:     drug abuse / addiction,  self harm,  suicidal ideation / attempts,  over dosing,    bipolar I disorder  (  which includes mania episodes,  heavy depressive episodes,  anxiety,  and minor psychosis breaks  ),  bdsm / submissive behaviors,  sex as a coping mechanism,  in being the bad twin,  the nature of growing up addicted,  undiagnosed mental illness.         DO   NOT   FOLLOW          if  you  feel  uncomfortable  with  explicit  conversations  around  sex,  mental  illness  and  drugs.

carrd. promo. ask. psd credit.

[narrativedoomed-a]

𝐁𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐓 of 𝐘𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐓𝐒. headcanon    based.    written    by    quin,    25,    he / they,    nz.    HEAVILY    TRIGGERING    CONTENT.    spoilers for s2 tagged for one week after the episode airs. beta editor only. moved blogs 24/03/23, prev. feigncourage / rotturn.

info    doc.    headcanons.    prompts.

also    found    on:    @pear1ridge,    @dunba1pha, @camptw1nk,    @jasnstilnski.

[narrativedoomed]

NARRATIVEDOOMED.    a    multi - fandom    multi - muse    by    quin,    25,    he / they,    nz.    LOW    ACTIVITY.    BETA    EDITOR    ONLY.

docs.    prompts.    wishlist.

also    found    on    @camptw1nk,    @jasnstilnski,    &    @pear1ridge.