#jeno drabble

[jenoroyals]

Cigarettes After Sex - Lee Jeno

pairing : jeno x fem!reader

synopsis : Starting your first year of college in a different country was exciting to you. Everything fell into place - your roommate, your friends, and even your apartment. The only thing that didn’t was Lee Jeno - your roommate’s boyfriend’s best friend.

word count : 17.7K words

content/warnings : college au!, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers?, one bed trope, smoking usage, heavy drinking usage, cursing, cheating (not jeno or mc), perv!jeno, semi sexual content, etc.

featuring : yunjin (lesaraffim), mina (former gugudan), jaemin (nct), mark (nct), haechan (nct), renjun (nct), chenle (nct), jisung (nct), giselle (aespa), & shotaro (riize).

During your childhood you dreamed of growing up, being on your own and going out was all you’ve ever wanted. Hearing stories from your older relatives about how wild they were in college just made it more severe.

“Yn? What college are you thinking about?” Your older sister asks.

You think for a moment before replying. “Well, I was thinking of Seoul National University.” You say and she furrows her brows.

“Well, that’s far from home.” She says, staring at you.

“I know but they have a great nursing program.” You defend while looking at her.

“Schools around here have great nursing programs too.” Your sister argues and you shake your head.

“Not like the one over there.” You say and she sighs defeatedly.

“Can you even speak the language?" Your sister asks and you nod your head.

“Yes, I took classes all throughout high school. I’m basically fluent.” You say and she scoffs lightly.

“Nerd.” She says and you slap her arm. “Hey!” She laughs and looks at you before getting serious again.

“Have you talked to mom and dad?” She asks and you shake your head no.

“I’m pretty sure they won’t mind.” You say and look at her before getting up. “I might not even get accepted. I’m still thinking about what colleges to apply to.”

“Well, as your older sister, I don’t want you to go that far. But, I know that you’ve always taken your education seriously, so if that's where you want to go, then you should apply.” Your sister says and you snort.

“I was going to anyway.” You say with a roll of your eyes, jokingly.

She pushes your shoulder and mumbles “Whatever.” before walking out of your room with a laugh.

You walk over to your computer and start looking at the application to SNU. Sighing, you click on the application and start typing in your information. “Let’s hope.”

You smile thinking about that memory while packing your bags. Tomorrow, you’ll leave your hometown and go to South Korea.

“Are you excited?” Your mom asks while zipping up one of your luggages.

“Yeah I am.” You say and she smiles while looking at you.

“Is your roommate nice?” She asks and you nod with a smile.

“Yeah, we’ve been talking a lot lately. She seems nice.” You say and your mom asks for her name.

“Yunjin. She was born in Korea but moved to New York when she was little.”

You were online looking at the dorms, hoping to find a suitable roommate when an ad listing popped up. Curiously, you clicked on it and found a girl named Yunjin who was looking for a roommate to help pay for her apartment. She looked nice and the apartment was close to the university.

Hesitantly, you clicked on the apply button and started reading the conditions before applying. You were sure that you could pay for half of the rent with your card. Your parents were both brand owners so money wasn’t an issue.

The next day, you received an email saying that she would be glad to have you as a roommate and that's when a new friendship formed.

Your mom nods her head and starts running her hands through your hair. “I’m gonna miss you.” She says and sniffles which causes you to turn around.

“Mom, don’t cry. I’ll be okay, I promise.” You say to her and hug her.

“I know you will, I’m just gonna miss my baby.” She says and you coo at her.

“I’m okay.” You mom says and pulls away while wiping her eyes.

“Now finish packing up. I’m going to start preparing dinner.” She says and walks out of your room.

You sigh and grab your phone, looking at the messages you received.

facetime? - yunjin

You quickly type a response before you get an incoming call from her. “Hello?” You ask while placing your phone on your vanity.

“Hi! I’m so excited to move in and finally meet you in person.” She says and you laugh while packing away your accessories.

“Me too! I can’t believe we’re finally going to meet tomorrow.” You say and look at her through your phone.

“Are you still packing, girl?” She asks and laughs.

“Just last minute things.” You say and she nods her head.

“What time does your flight land?” She asks and you quickly look at your boarding pass.

“I should be landing at 5pm. You’re picking me up right?” You ask her and she nods. “Yes I am.”

The two of you stayed on the phone until it was time for you to go eat dinner. After dinner you showered and laid down on your bed. You couldn’t sleep due to the excitement and nerves. You were going to be far away from home, your family, everything you’ve ever known.

It was like you were finally starting your life, this was all that you dreamed of while growing up. Now that it’s finally happening, you couldn’t help but be nervous. You don’t even remember falling asleep but somehow you get woken up by your alarm.

Your flight was at 5am and you had to be there about an hour early. You woke up at around 3am and walked into your bathroom. You brushed your teeth and hair, trying to make yourself look comfy but somewhat presentable since you were going to be on a flight for 12 hours.

After getting ready and grabbing your bags, you brought them downstairs where your parents were already preparing snacks and food for your flight.

“Are you ready, sweetie?” Your dad asks and hands you the bag of food and snacks.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He nods and hugs you, squeezing you tightly.

“My baby girl is leaving the nest.” He says and you laugh.

“I’ll be back dad. I’m not leaving forever.” You say and he laughs along with your mom.

“Okay, we should start leaving. It’s already 3:45.” Your mom says and starts grabbing your luggage.

You follow her out into the car with 2 suitcases in your hands, along with the bag full of food. After putting everything into the car, the three of you get inside the car and drive to the airport.

Your parents followed you all the way through the airport until they couldn’t anymore. You turned to face them and hugged them tightly.

“I’m going to miss you guys.” You say and they both sniffle, trying hard not to cry.

“Be safe please.” You mom says and you nod your head.

“I will, I promise.”

“Flight 423 to Seoul will now be boarding.” Was heard over the intercom.

“I love you guys.” You say to them and hug them tight once again before turning around.

You wave goodbye to them before you can’t see their figures anymore. Pushing your glasses up, you make your way into the first class section of the plane. Setting your bag down, you quickly take your glasses off and look out the window.

Another 20 minutes went by before the plane started to take off. You watch out the window as the city lights start becoming smaller and smaller.

Goodbye home.

-

After a 12 hour flight, you finally landed in Korea. Grabbing your bags from the baggage claim, you walked out into the front of the airport, hoping to see Yunjin.

“Yn!” You hear your name being called and turn to where the voice came from.

You let out a squeal and run towards Yunjin. She wraps her arms around you and laughs.

“You’re finally here!” She says and you nod your head before pulling away.

“The air feels different.” You joke and she laughs.

“You haven’t even stepped outside yet.”

“I know but it just does.” You say and she laughs before helping you with your suitcases. The two of you walk out of the airport and to her car.

As you’re looking out the car window, you see different types of scenery. Buildings, people, trees, rivers, and bicyclists.

“Oh wow, the college looks huge.” You say and she laughs.

“I’m so not excited for school.” She says and you nod your head.

“Me too. Thank god we have two weeks before we have to start attending classes.” You say and the both of you continue to talk until she parks inside the apartment parking garage.

She popped the trunk open so you could get your luggages out. She helped you with them before the both of you walked towards the apartment building. There were two different apartment buildings.

“Okay, so we are in the building on the left on the fourth floor.” She says.

You follow her and get into an elevator. The elevator arrives on the fourth floor and you guys walk down the hall.

“124...125…126…and 127.” She says to herself and turns to you.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes, I’m dying to just lay down for a bit.” You say and she laughs before unlocking the door.

The walls were white with pictures and decorations adorning them. She had black leather couches surrounding a glass coffee table.

“You can put your stuff in here.” She says and leads you to a room. There was a queen sized bed with black bedding.

“I hope you like it. I wasn't sure how to decorate it.” She says and you shake your head.

“It’s perfect.” You say and she nods her head.

“What time are we going to dinner?” You ask her, starting to unpack.

“At 6, and I hope you don’t mind but I invited my boyfriend and some of our friends.” She says and you shake your head again.

“Not at all. I’m excited to make new friends.” You say and unzip another suitcase.

“What’s his name?” You ask while she helps unbag your skincare and makeup onto the vanity table.

“Jaemin.” She answers and looks at you.

“You know, his friends are also super cute.”

“Yunjin don’t.” You say jokingly and she laughs.

“What? I’m just saying. You said that you’ve never dated before. Why not try new experiences? I mean, that’s what you’re here for right?” She asks and you sigh before looking at her.

“Well yeah but-”

“But, nothing. Come on, you’re in a foreign country, you’re sweet, and you’re hot. You could probably get anyone you want.” She says, walking closer to you.

“Let’s just see how this goes.” You say and she smiles while clapping her hands.

After unpacking, you showered and started getting ready for dinner. After applying makeup and doing your hair, you looked through the drawers for clothes. You decided on a pair of low rise jeans with a baby pink cropped tank top.

After getting ready you grabbed your phone to look at the time but the doorbell rang. Confused, you walked out of your room and knocked on Yunjin’s bedroom door.

“Ynn, it’s my boyfriend and our friends. Can you let them in?” She yells from the other side of the door.

You yell back a yes and walk to the front door to open it. Three guys all dressed differently looked back at you in a confused manner.

“Are you sure this is the right one, dude?” The guy in a plain white long sleeve asks.

“Yes I’m sure. Hi, you must be the new roommate.” The guy in the middle asks.

“Yeah, I’m Yn. Nice to meet you. Please, come in.” You open the door wider for them to enter.

“Yunjin’s in the room.” You tell him and he nods before walking into her room.

Feeling awkward, you gesture for the other two boys to sit in the living room. They both walked over to the couch and sat down.

“Hello, I’m Mark. It's nice to meet you.” The guy who spoke earlier says and smiles at you.

He holds his hand out as a gesture for you to shake it. You grab his hand and smile back at him. “Yn.”

“I’m Jeno.” The other one says.

You quickly look at him and observe him. He was dressed in black ripped jeans with a plain white tee and a black leather jacket.

He was oozing with charisma, from the way he talked to the way he dressed. He had rings adorned on his fingers, paired with silver metal bracelets and multiple necklaces around his neck. You almost felt intimidated by him until he flashed a bright smile at you. His eyes formed into cute little crescents of the moon.

“Nice to meet you.” You say and walk away to grab your shoes. You grab your pink dunks and walk over to the couch to put your shoes on but before you could, Mark speaks up.

“Where’s the bathroom?” He asks and you direct him to it before continuing to put on your shoes.

As you bent down to slip your foot in, Jeno noticed how he could see your cleavage poking through the opening of your tank top. He smirks and licks his lips before looking back at his phone. After putting your shoes on you sat there in silence.

“Nice shoes.” He says and you look at him.

“Thank you.” You look down to his shoes to compliment him as well when you notice he’s wearing the same shoes as you just in black.

“You too.” You shyly say and he chuckles softly.

Jaemin and Yunjin finally walk back into the living room.

“Is everyone here?” She asks and Jamein shakes his head.

“We’re waiting for Mina.” Jaemin says and your eyebrows furrow.

“Who’s Mina?” You ask and Yunjin walks over to come sit next to you.

“Mark’s girlfriend. She lives further away from campus.” Yunjin says and you nod your head. Just then, Mark walks out and sits back down where he was sitting previously.

The atmosphere was a little awkward and you felt yourself curl up into a ball. You could feel Jeno’s eyes on you but you choose to ignore it, looking at anywhere but him. Finally, the doorbell rings signaling Mina’s arrival. Mark goes to open the door and greets her with a kiss.

“Okay, let’s go.” Yunjin says and walks to Jaemin, intertwining their hands. You’re the last one out of the door and you turn around to lock the door humming to yourself.

You turn back around and see Jeno waiting for you as the rest of them start walking to the parking garage.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” You joke and he laughs.

“It’s okay, I didn’t want to really be with the couples anyway.” He says and you laugh, the two of you trailing behind the rest of the group.

Mark and Mina walk towards her car and you follow the rest of them into what you assume to be Jeno’s car since Jaemin was getting in the back seat. You turn to look at Yunjin who wiggles her eyebrows at you teasingly. You jokingly roll your eyes and get into the passenger seat.

“The usual?” Jeno asks and Yunjin nods her head.

He waits a moment for his phone to connect to the car before pulling out of the parking garage and heading to the restaurant. The music started to play and you recognized the song.

Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex

“I love this song.” You say out loud, hoping to make conversation.

“Yeah?” He asks and looks over at you quickly.

“Yeah, I love Cigarettes After Sex.” You say and softly laugh.

“What’s your favorite song?” You ask and turn to look at him with a smile.

“Probably ‘K.’ What about you?” He replies and you stop and think for a moment.

“It’s hard to say because I love all of their songs but I’ve been listening to ‘Sunsetz’ a lot recently.” You say and start playing with your fingers.

The conversation dies again but this time it’s not an awkward silence, it’s a comfortable one. A while later, you guys finally reach the restaurant and Jeno parks the car. The four of you get out of the car and meet up with Mark and Mina who were inside the restaurant already.

The six of you sit down at the table and start looking at the menu. It was a Korean Barbeque place. You were at the end of the table, closest to the wall with Yunjin on your left and across from her was Jaemin. Mark and Mina took up the remaining seats.

You look at the menu, debating on what you should get.

“The spicy pork belly is pretty good.” Jeno says across from you. You look up at him and smile.

“Yeah I was thinking about getting that.” You say and he smiles before looking back down at the menu.

“So, Yn. What are you majoring in?” Mina asks you before taking a sip of her water.

“Oh I’m majoring in nursing right now.”

“Oh, no way! Me too!.” Jaemin says and holds out his hand for a high five. You shyly high five him and the conversation continues.

Mark and Mina were both in their second year of college. Mark wanted to become a music producer and his girlfriend wanted to become a veterinarian. Yunjin and Jaemin were in the same year as you and like yourself, Jaemin wanted to become a nurse. You knew that Yunjin wanted to be a lawyer from previous conversations.

Jeno kept quiet most of the time, letting his friends talk before he did. After Jaemin finished speaking you turned to Jeno with questioning eyes.

“What about you?” You ask him and he softly smiles.

“I want to be a car designer.” He sheepishly says and you nod your head.

“That’s cool! I think you’d be good at it.” You say and he laughs.

“How do you know?” He asks teasingly and you look back at him.

“Your car! You added on all of the modifications right?” You say and he nods his head.

The four friends look at each other with knowing smiles before looking back at you and Jeno.

Before you know it, the food arrived. Jeno grabbed a piece of the spicy pork belly and placed it into your bowl of rice.

“Thank you.” You sheepishly say before eating it.

Everyone was so focused on eating that there was almost no conversation. Small conversations here and there but not too long lasting.

After 3 rounds of meat, everyone was stuffed. You wanted to treat everyone since they made you feel so welcomed but Jaemin beat you to it. He slid his card into the tab and gave it back to the server. You pouted a bit and Jeno noticed.

The way your cheeks filled up with air and your lips curled into each other, pressing against each other. He softly laughed and looked away.

“You guys want to drink tonight?” Mark suggests and everyone agrees.

“Yn and I can go grab alcohol and meet you guys back at the apartment.” Jeno says and everyone agrees with the plans.

You softly smile at the thought of spending time alone with him. You walk to his car and get in the passenger seat while waving bye to everyone else. Jeno starts up the car and the music starts playing.

Sunsetz - Cigarettes After Sex

You smile at the familiar instrumental intro of the song. You look over at him and he already has a smile forming on his face.

“Do you want to play 21 questions? We can get to know each other that way.” He asks and you nod your head yes.

“So, what made you come to Korea?” He asks you when the car gets to a red light.

“They have a good nursing program. One of the best in the whole world.” He nods his head at your answer.

You think for a moment before a question pops up in your head.

“How did you meet Jaemin?” You ask him and he softly laughs at your question.

“We were deskmates in middle school. I met him when I was 14.” He says and you smile at the thought of a younger Jeno.

The rest of the car ride was filled with questions bouncing back and forth between the two of you. Walking into the convenience store, you ask him a question.

“What’s your favorite color?” You ask and he laughs loudly at it.

“That’s what you’re asking?” He asks and laughs again when you nod your head.

The both of you walk over to the section with the soju bottles and he grabs a case that has 12 bottles in it.

“Blue.” He answers while walking to the register.

He started pulling out his wallet but you were faster. You tapped your card and when Jeno hears the noise the machine makes he looks up.

“My treat.” You say and he sighs softly.

“You didn’t have to.” He says and you shake your head.

“Your turn.” You say to him, gesturing for him to ask a question. Before he can ask you a question his name gets called.

You turn to look at the girl who called his name. She was gorgeous. Her hair was in all the right places, her makeup looked flawless, and her outfit looked like it was chosen by a stylist. Feeling insecure you wrap your arms around your body and avert your eyes.

“Jeno? That is you!” The girl exclaims and runs over to bring him into a hug.

Jeno keeps his arms down by his sides, not reciprocating the hug back. She pulls away from his embrace and pouts at him.

“What? You don’t even want to hug me?” She asks, batting her eyes at him but he keeps a stoic poker face.

“What are you doing here Giselle? I thought you were in Japan.” He says calmly and she turns her head to look at you. Ignoring his question she walks up to you.

“Hi, I’m Giselle. Jeno’s girlfriend.” She says and your eyes widen a bit.

She holds her hand out for you to take but before you could Jeno steps in front of you and blocks you from her vision, his taller frame towering over her.

“Ex. Girlfriend.” He clarifies and she rolls her eyes.

“Same thing. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” She says with a smile that looked all too fake.

He sighs and turns to look at you before grabbing your hand in his.

“She doesn’t need to be introduced to you.” He says bitterly.

His left hand wrapping around yours while holding the case of soju bottles in his other hand. He glares at the girl in front of you guys before dragging you out of the convenience store.

He pops open his trunk and lets go of your hand to place the case of alcohol in there. You awkwardly observe him let out a sigh before walking to the passenger door. He gets in the driver's seat and turns the car on.

You look at him and frown when you see his eyebrows furrowed with his eyes closed. Hesitantly, you poke at his eyebrows and his eyes open in shock.

“It’s not good to furrow your eyebrows for a long time.” You say and smile at him.

He softly smiles at you while looking into your eyes. Seeing him up close like this made you realize just how attractive he is. His strong and arched brows, his mole under his eye, his perfect nose, his full lips, even his chiseled jaw. Realizing what you’re doing, you quickly turn away from him and look straight out the window of the car and he softly laughs.

“I’m sorry.” He says and you frown before looking at him.

“Why are you apologizing?” You ask and he sighs again.

“Giselle.” He says, pointing out the elephant in the room. You nod your head and look at him furrowing his eyebrows again.

“We uh… we broke up last year. We dated for about two years before she had to move to Japan. Her dad got a job transfer over there and so her whole family moved. We tried to do long distance and it was going well, until I found out that she cheated on me.” He says and closes his eyes again.

You pout again and look at the man in front of you. How could anyone ever cheat on him? He was so damn perfect. Sure, you only met him today but you knew how genuine he was.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” You say and he softly chuckles.

You quickly look down for a second, trying to focus your attention on your hands in your lap. You slightly jump at the feeling of his hands under your chin. He grabs your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger, your eyebrows furrow feeling the coldness of his rings directly on your skin.

He tilts your face up to look back into his eyes and smirks. You slowly swallow the saliva in your mouth and look into his brown eyes.

“Don’t apologize, you did nothing wrong.” He says and you slowly nod your head.

He lets go of your chin and you sit further back into your seat. He laughs at your action and puts his car in reverse, heading back to your shared apartment with Yunjin.

-

“Finally!” You hear Yunjin say as you open the door.

“Sorry, we had to drive to the one further away because the other one didn’t have any soju in stock.” Jeno lies easily through his teeth.

You furrow at his words before plastering a smile onto your face. “Yeah, the detour was like 20 minutes.” You say, hoping that it made the lie more believable.

Jeno smiles at you, backing him up before placing the case of soju on the counter. He opens up the box and pulls out 3 bottles from it. You walk over to help him put the rest in the fridge and he grabs your hand. You gasp softly and look up at him.

“Thanks.” He says and you nod your head, knowing what he was referring to.

Jaemin had suggested a game of ‘Truth or Drink’ so the six of you were sat around the coffee table . Everyone agreed to let loose and be completely honest, no matter how raw the questions were and if they didn’t want to answer it, they could just take a shot of soju.

“Okay, Yn.” Jaemin starts off and you look at him.

“What was your first kiss like?” He finishes and everyone looks at you, waiting for you to answer.

“Hm, my first kiss.” You repeat and cringe thinking about it.

“It was gross. He kept trying to push his tongue in my mouth.” You say and everyone laughs at the thought of it.

“Okay, Mina. What’s the worst pick up line you’ve ever heard and who said it?” You ask with a smile and she laughs at the question. She looks over to her boyfriend who gasps offendedly.

“The worst pick up line I’ve ever heard was at the club.” She says and Mark groans upon hearing that causing the group to laugh.

“Mark came up to me and said ‘Hey, you owe me a drink. Because when I saw you, I dropped mine.”

Mark screams and cringes as the words leave his girlfriend’s lips. The group laughs and starts teasing him.

“I would’ve thrown my drink at you if you said that to me.” Jeno says and laughs when Mark flips him off.

As the night went on, half the soju case was almost gone. You could feel the alcohol getting to you, your eyesight was starting to blur a bit. The game continues and it was mark’s turn to ask.

“Have you and Yunjin ever got caught doing ‘it’ by someone?”

“Plenty of times.” Jaemin answered quickly with no thought.

Yunjin, feeling embarrassed, hides her face in her hands.

“Oh my god Yunjin, you said you were innocent!” You exclaim and hit her shoulder lightly.

“She’s not innocent at all, one time she wan-mphh” She covers her boyfriend’s mouth before he can embarrass her even more.

She removes her hand from his mouth and he laughs before scanning the room. He looks at everyone before stopping on his best friend.

“Okay, Jeno. Are you completely over what happened last year?” He asks his best friend who tenses up at the question but then relaxes again.

The smile that was once on his face disappears and he clears his throat.

“Um yeah, I would say I am.” Everyone nods their head at his answer and he looks over at you with a smirk.

“Oh no.” You say with a sigh playfully. He just laughs at your reaction and smiles even more.

“You’ve been asking me questions all night, aren’t you curious about anyone else?” You ask jokingly and he shakes his head.

“Nope. Just you, princess.” You cheeks flush at his use of a pet name and you look at him with wide eyes. He chuckles and playfully pinches your cheek.

“What’s the kinkiest thing you like to do during sex?” He asks and your cheek flushes even more.

It’s not like you’ve never had sex, you’ve had a few encounters of it. Keyword, a few. Both times however, were really vanilla so you’ve never experienced anything remotely kinky.

Clearing your throat you slowly pour the soju into your shot glass and take the shot.

“Oh come on princess.” He says and you shake your head no.

“Not telling.” You say and cough when the alcohol goes down the wrong pipe. The group laughs at your misery while Jeno pats your back, also laughing.

Not long after, everyone was slowly starting to drift off to sleep. You slowly were starting to sober up and decided to start cleaning up the mess. You grabbed the empty bottles and placed them in a trashbag.

After cleaning up, you looked around at everyone. Mark and Mina were fast asleep on the couch, cuddled up. You walked over to your bedroom and grabbed a spare blanket from the closet for them.

As you were walking out of your room, you met Jaemin and Yunjin in the hallway. “I’m guessing he’s sleeping with you?”

She nods her head and drags a drunk Jaemin into her room. You walk into the living room and drape the blanket over Mark and Mina. Jeno was fast asleep with his head on the coffee table. You walk over to him and shake him.

“Jeno? Wake up.” You say softly while shaking him awake. He mumbles incoherently before tuning his head to face you.

“Jeno, come on. Go sleep on the couch.” He shakes his head no and whines softly.

“You don’t want to sleep on the couch?” You ask softly while crouching down to him. He shakes his head again and you furrow your brows.

“Where do you wanna sleep?” You ask him and he slowly lifts his head up. He looks towards the hallway and points in your room.

You sigh softly and weigh your options. You could leave him here and have his body be sore tomorrow or you could take him to your room and let him sleep on your bed while you come back to sleep on the couch. Sighing, you grab his hand and help him up.

“Come on, let’s go to my room.” You whisper and he obliges.

He stands up, albeit a little wobbly but he manages to balance his weight, never letting go of your hand. You drag him to your room and place him on the bed. Reaching over. You take off his shoes and place them on the tile floor.

You stare at the sleeping man in front of you and sigh softly. As you go to walk away, he grabs your wrist. You stop in your tracks and turn to look at him.

“Don’t leave me, Giselle.” You hear him say and you widen your eyes.

So he was lying when he said that he was over it. You knew he wasn't with the way that he reacted inside the convenience store. You sigh again and furrow your brows before grabbing his hand that was holding onto your wrist and pull his grip away.

You stare at him again and he has a sour expression on his face. You hesitantly poke at his eyebrows to ease them before walking out of your room, leaving him in there. You walk into the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror.

Your eyes were red and your mascara was smeared everywhere. The pink lip tint you applied is now gone due to the oil of the food. You take out a makeup wipe and start removing your makeup, all the while thinking about the man in your room.

You barely met him yet he had you wrapped around his finger. You sighed again for the hundredth time that night. After removing all of your makeup, you brushed your teeth before walking back out into the living room.

You decided to sleep on the other couch. After grabbing another blanket from the closet, you laid down and felt your eyelids getting heavy. Sleep slowly overtaking your body. You closed your eyes and let it devour you, not wanting to think about what just happened in the last 20 minutes.

-

You hear voices coming from next to you and open your eyes. The sun was blaring from the balcony window. Squinting your eyes, you sit up and see that everyone was up besides Jeno.

“Want some breakfast?” Jaemin asks from the kitchen and you slowly nod your head.

Your head was pounding and your mouth felt dry. Last night was the first time in a long time that you’ve drank that much. You tried to swallow some saliva to help quench your thirst but it didn’t help at all. Yunjin and Mina came over to sit next to you on the couch. MIna handed you a glass of water and you softly thanked her.

The water was cooling against your dry mouth and throat. Gulping down the water you slowly looked around.

“Where’s Jeno?” Yunjin asks you and you bring the cup down from your lips.

“He didn’t want to sleep on the couch so I took him to my room and came to sleep out here.” You answer and they nod their head.

“Food’s ready.” Jaemin says and the three of you walk over to the dining table where Mark was setting up plates.

“I’m gonna go wake up Jeno.” You say and walk towards your room.

You slowly opened the door, hoping not to wake him up. He was softly snoring and you observed him again before walking closer to him on your bed. The events of last night flash through your brain and you stop in your tracks. Deciding to not think too much, you walk up to him.

“Jeno.” You say and shake him to wake him up.

He slowly opens his eyes and blinks up at you before sitting up fastly. He looks around the room and notices that he’s in your room. You softly laugh at him and shake your head.

“Jaemin cooked breakfast, go eat.” You say and he slowly nods his head before getting up from your covers.

He grabs his shoes and walks out of your room. You sigh once he's out and lay down on your bed, not even caring that you haven’t washed them after he used it. You stare up at the ceiling for a moment before getting up to change into more comfortable clothes.

You fell asleep in your jeans last night and it was itching your legs. Locking your door, you change into a pair of gray loose sweatpants and a tight white long sleeve that was cropped. You looked for your brown fluffy slippers and put them on before walking back out into the kitchen to eat.

-

It’s been a few days since that day and you haven’t seen Jeno at all. You and Yunjin were watching a movie in the living room when you looked over at her and decided to ask the question you were dying to know the answer to.

“Yunjin?” You call out and she turns to look at you.

“What’s up?” She asks.

“Who did Giselle cheat on Jeno with?” You ask and she makes a confused face.

“How did you know about that?” She asks and you panic. You didn't know if you should tell her about what happened at the convenience store but you do anyway.

“When Jeno and I went to go get alcohol, she was there.” You answer and Yunjin sits up from her position.

“She was here? In Korea?” She asks for clarification and you nod your head yes.

“That bitch.” She says softly and looks away before looking back at you.

“She cheated on him with this guy named Shotaro.” She says and you slowly nod your head.

“DId he love her?” You ask again and Yunjin looks at you confusingly.

“Jeno.” You clarify and Yunjin sighs.

“Yeah, I think he did. But once she broke that trust, it was hard for him to get over it.” She explains and you stay quiet.

“Why are you asking?” She asks and you shake your head.

“I was just curious.” You say and she looks at you with squinted eyes before looking back at the tv.

You sat there in silence, thinking about the information that you just received. You grabbed your phone and looked up the name ‘Shotaro’ on instagram. It wasn’t hard to find him after all, there weren't many Shotaros in the world.

Clicking on the first profile that popped up you looked on his page and saw different posts with girls and guys. One picture in particular caught your eye though. It was a picture of Shotaro, Giselle, and Jeno.

She was standing in the middle with her head on Jeno’s shoulder. You frowned and zoomed in on the picture. Her arms wrapped around both of them but even though her head was on Jeno’s shoulder, Shotaro was standing closer to her than Jeno was.

You looked at the date it was posted, 2021. You zoomed back onto Shotaro’s face. He wasn’t bad looking but he definitely wasn’t as handsome as Jeno was. It seems like Jeno and Shotaro were friends or acquaintances at least.

You clicked on the picture to look at the tag and found Jeno’s account. He had no posts but he had story highlights. You clicked on one and saw Jaemin and Mark along with other guys. Tapping through them you looked at them before it changed to another highlight. You noticed that this one had just him.

There were pictures of him at the gym, him biking, him at parties, and more. Just as you were about to look even more, the doorbell rang. You looked up and saw Yunjin looking at you.

“Are you expecting anybody?” She asks you and you shake your head.

Getting up, you walked over to the front door and opened it. Jeno was standing there in a muscle tee and sweats. His biceps were out for everyone to see and you slowly widened your eyes.

“Jeno? What are you doing here?” You ask and look back to see if Yunjin was watching but she wasn't.

“Can we talk?” He asks and you nod your head before walking out to talk in the hallway.

“What’s up? Are you okay?” You ask and he nods his head.

“Yeah. I just wanted to apologize about the other day.” He says and you scoff slightly.

“It’s okay. You were drunk, don’t even worry about it.” You say and he smiles softly. You look up into his eyes and feel yourself smiling as well.

“Is that all?” You ask and he nods his head.

As you turn to walk back inside he grabs your wrist. “Wait!” He exclaims and you turn back to look at him.

“Um, someone I know is throwing a party tonight. Would you like to go with me?” He asks and you furrow your eyebrows.

“Tonight?” You ask and he nods his head.

“Sure, what time should I expect you to pick me up?” You ask and he smiles softly.

“I’ll be here at 9.” He says and you smile with a nod of your head. You turn to walk inside but before closing the door, you wave to him and he does the same.

“Who was it?” Yunjin asks and you drop your smile.

“Uh, Jeno. He invited me to a party tonight.”

“Oh, it must be Haechan’s party.” She says and you furrow your brows.

“How do you know?” You ask and she shrugs her shoulders.

“Jaemin invited me but I declined because I thought we were hanging out tonight.” She says teasingly and your eyes widen.

“Oh shit. Sorry, I already accepted his invite. I can cancel on him.” You say and Yunjin laughs.

“It’s fine, if you’re going then I’ll go too.” She says and grabs her phone to text Jaemin.

You smile and walk into your bedroom. It was already 5pm and you needed time to get ready. You walked into your closet, hoping to find something to wear. Looking through your tops, you found a black tube top and decided to pair it with a blue denim mini skirt.

You knew it was going to be a bit chilly outside, but you didn’t want to ruin your outfit so you opted for freezing tonight. Laying your outfit down on your bed, you walked towards the vanity mirror and started applying makeup. You knew you wanted it to be subtle but still bold enough to compliment your features.

“Hey, what are you wearing?” Yunjin asks while walking in and looking at the outfit on your bed.

“Oh, this is cute!” She exclaims and grabs your jacket to inspect it closely.

“Well, I was going to wear low rise jeans but I thought the skirt was cuter. What about you? What are you wearing?” You say while applying some lip gloss.

You turn towards her and see her in a green mini skirt with a white top. You smile and nod your head yes. “Oh hell yeah! You look hot as fuck.” You say and walk closer to her to look closely at her outfit. She smiles and does a quick turn while posing like models do. You laugh and gently hit her shoulder.

“Is Jaemin picking you up?” You ask and she shakes her head no.

“We usually uber since we both drink but Haechan’s place is really close so we usually just walk.” She says and you nod your head.

“I think he’s coming with Jeno so the four of us will probably just walk together.” She says and walks into your bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. You walk back over to your vanity table and finish getting ready. You finished curling the last strand of hair when the doorbell rang. You hear Yunjin going to open the door and quickly look at yourself in the mirror before grabbing your black platform boots.

As you were putting them on, there was a knock on your door. “Come in!” You yell and the door opens revealing Jeno.

“Hey.” You softly say and smile at him.

He stays near the door, mesmerized by you. Your outfit, your hair, your makeup, everything was so beautiful. He slightly clears his throat before looking away and greets you as well.

“You look beautiful." He says and you shyly smile.

“Thank you.” You say and finally look up to get a glimpse of his outfit for tonight.

He was wearing a purple and black striped shirt with black ripped jeans. His signature leather jacket was draped over his shoulders. His jewelry completed the look. He had the same rings adorning his fingers and you slightly felt a chill run up your spine, remembering the way they felt under your chin. His jet black hair was styled properly this time, showcasing his forehead. You slightly blush and get up to grab your bag. Slipping it over your shoulder, you look at yourself in the mirror one last time.

You turn to Jeno and smile while gesturing for him to leave first so you could close your door. The both of you walked towards the living room so that you guys could all leave. Yunjin and Jaemin were the first ones out of the door and you stayed behind to lock the door. Feeling a sense of deja vu when you see that Jeno was waiting for you.

“Is Giselle going to be there?” You ask Jeno who shakes his head.

“I don’t know. I hope not.” He replies and you nod your head before trailing behind Jaemin and Yunjin who were joined at the hip.

“I think I have a new favorite song from Cigarettes After Sex.” He says and you turn to look at him while walking.

“Really? What song?” You ask curiously and he slightly chuckles.

“Sunsetz.” He says and you gently laugh while pushing him away from you.

“You’re such a follower.” You joke and he laughs before walking close to you again.

The both of you continued small talk while walking to Haechan’s house. Your hands slightly bump into each other since you were walking so closely to each other. Your cheeks flushed every time your hand accidentally brushed against his.

-

As the night went on and more people came you lost sight of your friends. Sighing, you lean your back against a wall and take a sip out of the nasty concoction that was made by Haechan himself. Suddenly you felt someone come stand next to you. You turn to look at the person when you notice how familiar he looked.

“Hi, I’m Shotaro. What’s your name?” You gape at the person in front of you. He was the guy Giselle cheated on Jeno with. You slightly smile awkwardly and give him your name.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.” He says and you slightly back away from him to put some distance with a fake smile plastered on your face.

“I haven’t seen you around before. Are you new here?” He asks and you nod your head.

“I’m here for college.” You reply dryly and he smiles at you.

You hated to admit that he was an attractive man but you couldn’t do that to Jeno. The two of you just stood there in silence looking at each other.

Unbeknownst to the both of you, Jeno stared from across the room. His hand clenched onto his cup while his tongue poked his cheek. Why the fuck was Shotaro talking to you? And why was he standing so fucking close to you?

Hachan sluggishly wrapped his arm around his friend and laughed. “What’s got you so pissy?”

Jeno huffed and pushed his arm off of him. Haechan follows his gaze and sees Shotaro. Furrowing his brows he straightens up and turns to Jeno.

“I didn’t know he was back.” He says and puts his hand on Jeno’s shoulder.

Seeing enough, Jeno removes Hacehan’s hand from his shoulder and gulps the last of his drink before throwing the cup on the floor. His eyes stayed on Shoitao the whole time he was making his way over to you two.

“Do you want to dance?” Shotaro asks and holds his hand out. Before you could even answer a hand pushes him away.

You look up and see Jeno standing next to you. His nostrils were flared and his eyes were abnormally cold. Glaring at the man in front of him while Shotaro just chuckles.

“Jeno Lee.” He says and smiles while looking straight back at him.

Jeno didn’t reply, he just glared at the guy in front of him before grabbing your hand. As he turned to get the both of you away from him you felt Shotaro pull on your other arm.

“Hey, we were talking!” Shotaro yells and Jeno turns quickly to look at him.

“Let go of her.” He says through clenched teeth and Shotaro just smirks.

He slowly lets go of your arm and continues smirking while Jeno keeps his eyes on him. You slightly tap Jeno’s shoulder, signaling for the both of you to leave. He softly looks back at you and the both of you walk back over to where the rest of his friends were.

“Why were you talking to him?” Jeno snapped and you turned to look at him.

“He came up to me, what was I supposed to do? Ignore him?” You sass back and Jeno just sighs.

“Do you know who he is?” He asks, never letting go of your hand.

Of course you knew who he was but you didn’t want to admit to stalking their Instagram pages so you shake your head no. He sighs and pulls you towards the kitchen counter. Your back hits against it and you let out a soft yelp from the pain.

Jeno steps in front of you, keeping you trapped between his own body and the counter. His taller frame towering over you and you felt a little shy looking into his eyes. You avert your eyes and look down but Jeno grabs your chin to make you look him straight in the eye. Your lashes flutter against your eyes and he softly chuckles.

He leans down so he could whisper in your ear. You freeze up because he was too close to you. His necklace dangling onto your shoulder and the cool metal against your bare shoulder makes your cheeks flush again.

“You’re cute.” He says and you softly giggle.

You can feel your heart rate going up. Trying to calm it down, you inhale a short breath but Jeno catches it. He can feel your heart pounding against his chest and he softly chuckles.

“Do I make you nervous?” He asks and you quickly shake your head no.

He pulls away from your ear and looks at you again with a smirk.

“You sure?” He whispers, leaning closer to your face.

You could feel his breath hitting in your face and it makes you back away a little bit. You didn’t get too far because his hand goes around your waist, pulling you right up against his body. The alcohol in your system and the closeness of your bodies make you start to sweat a bit. It was too hot in here, you needed to get some fresh air.

“I need to- I need to get some air.” You say quietly for him to hear and he smirks while letting go of you.

You huff out a breath and step away from him. You walk towards the sliding door and feel the cool breeze against your skin. Your heart is racing a million beats per minute. You slowly bring your hands to your cheeks and feel how hot they are.

Shaking your head, you try to calm yourself down but a touch on your shoulder scares you. You jump away from the contact and turn around to see Yunjin and Mina there.

“Oh, hi.” You say softly and they both look at you.

“Are you okay?” Mina asks and they both walk closer to you.

“Yeah. I just needed to get some air.” You reply and they both nod their head.

“We saw Shotaro trying to talk to you.” Yunjin says and you sigh.

“Yeah, it was awkward.” You say and inhale a sharp breath.

“Was Jeno friends with him?” You ask and they both look at each other before looking back at you.

“They were very close in high school because they were both in dance club.” Yunjin says and you nod your head again.

“Come on, let’s go drink.” Mina says and wraps her arm around your arm with Yunjin doing the same.

The three of you walk back into the house and walk to the kitchen where the rest of the guys were at. You quickly catch Jeno’s eye and he smirks at you. You shyly smile at him before walking with the girls to the other side of the counter.

You were across from Jeno but you tried not to look at him. Instead, you kept your eyes on Renjun, who was pouring the shots. He passed out the shot cups and you shyly thanked him before grabbing it from him.

The eight of you cheered and clicked your shot cups against each other before downing the shrink. The alcohol was burning your throat and you let out a sour look after swallowing it down.

“That’s nasty.” You say and Renjun laughs.

“It’s Bicardi.” He says and lifts up the bottle to show you.

“It tastes like shit.” You say and Hachan screams.

“Don’t say that about my baby.” Haechan says and grabs the bottle to pat it.

“Don’t worry, she didn't mean that.” He says and you laugh at him.

Jeno kept his eyes on you the whole time. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system or maybe it was his dirty mind that wanted to corrupt you. You seemed so innocent to him, with your sparkling eyes, your skirt riding up so high that he could basically see your panties but you didn’t even notice.

You stupid perfect lips that curl up so sweetly when you smile. Your hair that looked so soft, your belly button piercing that always adds fuel to the boner he was already springing. He was imagining all sorts of things.

His necklaces dangling in front of your face as he pushes himself into you. Your belly button piercing that would glimmer so bright as he was on top of you.

“Jeno!” Renjun’s voice snaps him away from his thoughts. He looks over at his friend who has a knowing smile on his face.

“She’s pretty cute right?” Renjun says and laughs softly when Jeno looks back at you.

“Shut up.” He grumbles and pushes Renjun away slightly who laughs at his friend.

You felt your head spinning and decided that you had enough to drink. You sat down on the counter to keep your body from falling down. You close your eyes to help your headache when you feel a presence in front of you. Opening your eyes, you see Jeno in front of you again.

‘You okay, princess?” He asks and you nod your head.

“Yeah, I just need to calm down a bit.” You say and he nods his head. His hands come to rest on the counter, trapping you again.

Your belly button piercing was on full display for him, the butterfly charm draws him in. He reaches down to play with your piercing and you giggle at his actions.

“It tickles.” You softly say and try to wriggle from his hands but he softly laughs and places his other hand on your waist to keep you from moving.

Feeling bold, you grab his necklace and pull him in closer to inspect it. You smooth your fingers over the cross and he smiles softly watching you. His fingers never leaving your belly button piercing either. You look up into his eyes and smile softly.

“What?” You softly say and he shakes his head.

His eyes formed into those cute little crescent moons. This man was going to be the death of you. You let go of his necklace and sigh.

“My butt hurts.” You say and he softly chuckles again.

He lets go of your piercing and holds his hand out. You take his hand in yours and jump off the counter. You go to grab your bag but he grabs it for you and holds it with his other hand while leading you to the couch.

The smell of marijuana was piercing and your nose scrunched up at the smell. Jaemin was smoking a blunt with Yunjin on his lap. He blew the smoke out away from his girlfriend before passing it to Hachan. Jeno sits down on the couch and pulls you onto him.

You yelp when your butt lands on his thighs. Everyone was lost in conversation and you were lost in your thoughts. Mark passes the blunt to Jeno who takes a drag before blowing it away from your face. You look at him as he takes another hit.

“Wanna try, princess?” He asks and holds out the blunt to you.

You shake your head no and he shrugs his shoulders before passing it back to Mark. Jeno’s hands were wrapped around your waist and he pulled you in closer. His chin resting on your shoulders as he closes his eyes.

You smile softly and place your hands against his. You grab one of them and start playing with one of the many rings he has on. Jeno opens his eyes and watches as you get lost looking and playing with his rings. You shyly smile at him and go back to looking at his rings when a figure catches your eye.

Giselle was walking over and you quietly tapped Jeno’s arm to signal him. He opens his eyes and lets out a soft hum. He looks up and sees her in front of the both of you. The conversation died down as everyone looked at her.

“Can I get a hit?” She asks, looking Jeno straight in the eye. He sits up and squeezes your waist tighter.

“It’s not mine, don’t ask me.” He says and looks at Jaemin.

Jaemin shrugs his shoulders and hands out the blunt to her. She smiles and sits down next to Jeno and you. You roll your eyes at her and go to stand up but Jeno’s hold on you gets tighter. You turn to look at him but he shakes head. He places his chin back onto your shoulder.

“I’m comfortable.” He whispers in your ear and you giggle softly while he laughs.

Giselle looks at you two with a nasty look before hitting the blunt again. Yunjin and Mina look at each other with a roll of their eyes.

“What’s your name?” Giselle asks, looking straight at you. You turn to look at her and plaster a fake smile.

“Yn.” You say and she softly laughs.

“You don’t smoke?” She asks again and you shake your head no.

“Oh, I thought you did because Jeno likes girls who smoke.” She says with a raise of her eyebrows.

You know she’s trying to rile you up and you hate that it’s working. Jeno sighs and opens his eyes to look at her again. He releases you from his grasp and you take that as a sign to get up from his hold.

“Let’s go.” He says and grabs your hand in his again. You shyly take it and look at Yunjin who gets up as well.

“This was fun Hyuck, but I think it’s time for us to go.” She says and holds onto Jaemin as he gets up too.

You wave bye to everyone and walk out of the house with Jeno, Yunin, and Jaemin. Giselle gals at your figure disappearing and scoffs.

“It was just a joke, jeez. What’s their problem?” She asks and takes another hit of the blunt.

Mina scowls at her as she gets up to leave with Mark.

‘You know what the problem is, bitch.” She says angrily and the two of them walk off.

You and Jeno were walking into the direction of your apartment. The chilly air was blowing against your skin and you shiver. He notices and stops walking to take his jacket off. He places them around your shoulders and smiles at you.

You thank him and he grabs your hand to continue the walk. Unbeknownst to you both Jaemin was taking pictures of you two with a big grin on his face.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Yunjin says softly with a giggle and pushes his hand away.

He laughs and puts his phone back into his pocket before grabbing her hand. The four of you finally made it to your guys' shared apartment. Jeno walked you to your room and sat you down on your bed. He kneels down to take your boots off. Your head was pounding so hard you lay down against your pillows.

After he was finished he looked at you fast asleep on your bed. He smiles softly and bends down. He places a quick kiss to your head and whispers a soft “Good night.” before walking out of your room.

“You good to drive?” Jaemin asks and he nods his head.

He takes the keys from Jaemin and the both of them walk out of the apartment to head back to their dorm. Jaemin noticed the way Jeno's lips curved up into a smile. He noticed the way Jeno’s eyes lit up every time he looked at you. He noticed lots of things in his friend that he hasn’t seen in a long time. He smiles softly at his friend who continues the drive home.

-

You woke up the next morning, still in your clothes from last night and your makeup half rubbed off. You walk over to the bathroom to remove your makeup and shower when you notice Jeno’s jacket around you. You smile and go to grab your phone.

you left your jacket - princess

i left it on purpose ;) - Jeno Lee

You smile and heart his message before getting ready to remove your makeup.

-

It’s been a week since you started classes and safe to say, you were not expecting that much work within the first week. It was finally Friday and you just got back to your apartment. Yunjin didn’t have any classes today so she was already home.

“Are you done packing already?” You ask as you walk into her room.

“Yeah. Are you?” She asks and you shake your head no.

Jaemin had a beach house and he invited you all over for the weekend to destress from the first week of school.

“I’m too tired to pack.” You say and she laughs. “Well you better hurry up, They’re meeting here at 2.” She says and you groan.

“That’s in like 2 hours.” You say and she nods her head.

“Yeah, so hurry up. Princess.” She teases you and you hit her gently.

“Shut up! Don’t call me that.” You say laughing and she laughs as well.

“Just go pack.” She says and you laugh before walking to your room to pack for the weekend.

You were only going to be gone until Sunday so you packed 2 bikinis, a few pairs of jeans and sweats, and a few baby cropped tees. You walk over to your undergarments drawer when Jeno’s leather jacket catches your eye.

You smile thinking about the memory last weekend and walk up to it. You grab it and fold it up to put in your bag so you could give it back to him. You tried to give it back to him earlier but he kept trying to push it off, claiming that he had other ones to wear.

You place it into your bag and grab new undergarments to pack. Lastly, you packed your makeup and skincare into a smaller bag and placed it into your duffel bag. After zipping it up you change into comfortable clothes.

You changed into your black one piece spandex and grabbed a white cropped sweater that falls off your left shoulder perfectly. You put a pair of fuzzy white socks on and slipped your feet into your UGG platform slippers. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you smiled before grabbing your bag and walking out into the living room.

You had makeup on already from school so you just touched it up a little bit. You wanted to look cute since you were going to be riding with Jeno. Jaemin and Yunjin were taking Mark and Mina, while Haechan and Renjun brought along their other two friends.

“They’re here.” Yunjin says and you grab your bag and place the strap around your right shoulder.

“Let’s go!” You say and walk out of the apartment first. Yunjin locked up the apartment before following you down to where everyone else was.

You notice Jeno’s black 2023 Mercedes Benz C-Class first. You smile and wave at him as he opens the trunk and grabs your bag from you. You open up your bag and pull his jacket out from it and hand it to him.

He smiles and takes the jacket from you and places it in his trunk as well. He closes the trunk and you walk over to the passenger side door and get inside the car. He gets in the car as well and waits for Jaemin to take off first.

“Are you excited?” He asks and you squeal.

“Yes! I need a break from school.” You say and he laughs.

“It’s barely been a week.” He says and you giggle.

“Yeah but the classes are so hard.” You say and he softly laughs.

“Who’s coming with Haechan and Renjun?” You ask and he looks over at you.

“Our other friends, you haven’t met them yet. Their names are Chenle and Jisung. They’re a bit younger than us.” He says and you nod your head.

He pulls out something from the back seat and gives it to you. It’s a small velvet box. Furrowing your eyebrows you look at him.

“What is it?” You ask softly and giggle.

“Just open it.” He says and you do as he says.

Inside was a thick metal ring adorned with jewels. It was the same one he had on middle finger. You gasp and pull it out from the box, bringing it closer to you so you can inspect it.

“You liked playing with mine so much, I figured I’d just buy you one." He says sheepishly and you smile at him.

“Oh my god, Jeno! It’s so beautiful, thank you.” You say and slip it on your middle finger on your left hand, exactly where it was on Jeno’s finger.

You lift your hand to show him and he laughs at the placement of your ring. Excitedly, you take out your phone and grab his hand to place yours on top. Snapping a quick picture of your guys hands together with the rings on display. You smile in satisfaction and show him.

“Send it to me.” He says and smiles.

You nod your head and quickly pull up his contact to send the picture to him. He looks over at your phone and sees his contact saved as ‘Jeno Lee.’ He scoffs and grabs your phone from your hands.

“Hey!” You exclaim and try to get it back but he pushes your hand away.

He changes his name to ‘jen’ and saves it before handing your phone back to you. You laugh once you see his contact name and look at him.

“What’s my name saved as?” You ask with a smile on your face.

He pulls out his phone and goes to your contact before turning his phone around and showing you. You stare at the ‘princess’ and laugh, pushing his shoulder away.

“You’re annoying.” You say and he laughs before charging his phone.

“You got your nails done?” He asks, grabbing your hands to inspect your nails closely.

You recently got them done with Yunjin and Mina. They were a nude pink color with glitter and charms adorned around them. You nod your head as he plays with the butterfly charm on your middle finger.

“I wanted to make them pretty.” You say and he softly laughs.

You look out the window and notice Jaemin’s car leaving. Jeno lets go of your hand and puts his car in reverse to follow them.

“Can you GPS the way just in case we get separated?” He asks and you nod your head before grabbing his phone.

“Password?” You ask and he quickly says the password code before you click on the group chat with the 10 of you.

You click on the address that Jaemin sent earlier this week and it starts showing the map on Jeno’s dashboard. You swipe out of the app and go to his Spotify. You look through his playlist and find one titled ‘Princess.’ Smiling, you click on it and see that it’s all Cigarettes After Sex songs. You click on ‘Sunsetz’ and the song begins to play. Jeno lets out a laugh at the song choice and shakes his head.

-

After a two hour car ride, you and Jeno finally arrive at the house. Jeno parks his car and you undo your seatbelt. Stepping out of the car, you walk towards the trunk and grab your bag. He follows you and grabs his bag as well.

The two of you walk inside the beach house and notice how big it was. It was squeaky clean like a brand new house. You walk through the house, looking in awe at how beautiful it was. After you finished looking at it, everyone was gathered in the living room.

“So there’s 5 rooms, everyone is going to have to share a room.” Jaemin says and grabs his girlfriend’s hand.

“Me and Yunjin, Mark and Mina, Jeno and Yn, Haechan and Renjun, and Jisung and Chenle.” Jaemin finishes and everyone nods their head in agreement.

“Every room is available besides the master bedroom, that’s where Yunjin and I will sleep.” He says and you and Jeno rush to get the best room.

You open the door and squeal when you look inside. There was a beautiful balcony with a view of the beach right outside. You were in awe of the balcony that you barely noticed the one bed but when you did your eyes widened.

You’re sharing one bed with Jeno. You look over to him and he laughs at your expression. He walks over to you and looks out the window with a smirk.

“Don’t worry, I’ll behave.” He says and walks to the bed to set his bag down. You awkwardly laugh and play it off.

“I’m not worried at all.” You say and shake your head.

Jeno raises his eyebrows at your lie and smirks before sitting on the bed. You go to place your bag on the bed as well when Jeno grabs your wrist and pulls you down onto the bed. His body hovering over yours causing his necklaces to dangle in front of you.

You eyes widen and you try to get up from his grasp but he pins your arms down above your head. He smirks and laughs at you before getting up and letting go of you.

“Not worried at all, my ass.” He says and chuckles. You sit up and huff at him.

“Shut up. You just caught me off guard.” You lie again.

He lets out an amused smile and nods his head knowing the truth. You get up to unzip your bag and grab your makeup bag to put on the desk table in the corner of the room. After doing that, you walk out into the kitchen to help Mina and Yunjin prepare the meat so Jamein can barbecue it.

Jeno sat on the bed and pulled his phone out. He looks at the photo you sent him and stares at it for a second before saving it and going to Instagram. He clicks on the photo and puts ‘Sunsetz’ as the music background before posting it.

He smiles looking at the finished product and turns his phone off before joining the rest of you guys in the kitchen. He can hear your laugh and it brings a smile to his face again. He walks outside and over to Jaemin who's preparing the grill and helps him.

You were washing the rice when Yunjin let out a gasp. You and Mina turn to look at her and she squeals before showing her phone to you guys. The picture that you just took earlier today blaring through her phone. You widen your eyes and clear your throat.

“That’s you right?” Mina asks while looking at you with a shocked face.

“No.” You shake your head and try to lie but the two of them smirk.

“Yn, we all got our nails done together.” Yunjin says and grabs your left hand to match the nails and the ring to the picture.

“Oh my god! Are you guys dating?” Mina asks excitingly and you shake your head.

“No we aren’t. I don’t even know what we are.” You say and Yunjin pouts at your words.

“Do you like him?” She asks and you sigh before nodding your head.

“But, I know that he’s not over whatever happened with Giselle so it’s impossible.” You say placing the bowl into the rice cooker.

Mina and Yunjin pout before walking over to you. They both hug you to comfort you and you smile at them.

“I’m okay, I promise.” You say and the two of them look at each other before looking back at you. They let go of you and the three of you continue to prepare the food.

After Jaemin finished grilling the meat, everyone was sitting outside enjoying the food and the weather. You were sitting in between Mina and Jeno. The latter’s Instagram story is still reeling in your mind. Why did he even post that? What was he trying to do when he posted it? 

You looked over at him laughing along to something Haechan said, you didn’t bother to pay attention to the conversation. Jaemin must’ve caught you staring because next thing you know you feel a kick on your leg. 

You looked across to him and he smiled while raising his eyebrows teasingly. You shake your head and laugh. 

“I just spaced out.” You say, trying to defend yourself. 

“Sure you did.” Jaemin teases and you flip him off jokingly. 

The conversations continue until Haechan screams and runs away from Jeno who's chasing him. You laugh at them and sip on your water. Setting the glass down, you start playing with the ring on your middle finger. Twisting it around to help distract yourself.

“That’s a nice ring.” Mark says with a smirk.  

“Oh, thanks. It was a gift.” You say and smile while he slightly laughs. 

“From who?” He asks again, leaning closer to get a good look at you. 

“Um, I forgot.” You lie and take a sip of your water. 

Mark laughs at you again and goes to say something but Mina nudging him makes him stop talking. You slightly scoff and go back to eating when Jeno sits back down. He goes to grab his glass of water but it’s empty. 

He looks over at yours and grabs it before drinking out from it. He sets the glass back down where it was and smiles at you. You don’t say anything as you continue to eat the meat that Jaemin barbequed. 

As everyone finished eating, you started cleaning up along with Mina and Yunjin. You gathered up the dirty plates and put them in the sink while the other two went to retrieve more dirty dishes. You started washing the dishes when Jaemin came over to help you. 

“Oh, it’s okay Jaemin. I got it.” You say and he waves off your comment. 

“It’s fine.” He says and starts rinsing the soapy dishes.

“Anything you wanna talk about?” You ask, hoping to ease the conversation. 

“Not really.” He says while looking at you causing you to laugh slightly. 

“How do you like the friend group so far?” He asks. 

“Oh, you guys are really fun. It’s very different from my friend group back at home." You say and continue to wash the dishes. 

“How so?” Jaemin inquires. 

“Well, for starters there’s not a lot of us in the friend group. There’s only four of us and we didn’t really hang out with guys. I mean, we did, but they weren’t part of our immediate friend group.” You explain and he nods. 

“Do you ever miss home?” He asks and you sigh quietly. 

“I do. But, at the same time it’s good to have new experiences so I’m really glad I came over here for college.” You say with a smile. 

“I see why Yunjin likes you so much.” Jaemin says and laughs. 

“What do you mean?” You ask and laugh as well. 

“You guys are just so alike. You always want to see the good in things, even in people.” He says and you laugh again. 

“Like you?” You tease and he glares at you playfully. 

“I wasn't that bad.” He defends and you laugh. 

“Yeah right. You turned from this playboy who slept around to being in a fully committed relationship.” You say and he shrugs his shoulders. 

“Maybe I was just waiting for the right person to come along.” He says and looks over at you. You just nod your head at his answer and he almost groans in frustration.

How could you not understand that he was also talking about you and Jeno. You both were the most dense people he’s ever met. Of course he and his girlfriend gossip about you guys- you’re her roommate and Jeno’s his best friend for Christ's sake. 

He knew you liked his friend, Yunjin told him. And, he knew that his friend liked you as well, even if he didn’t want to admit it. The way that Jeno acted around you was different than how he was around any other girl, even Giselle. 

Jeno cares for you in more ways than one. Like when he gave you his jacket, or when he was holding your hand, or protecting you from Giselle, or buying you a ring, or posting you on his public social media account for goodness sakes. 

After finishing up the dishes, you changed into your bikini to go swimming in the pool. Walking out onto the deck you placed your towel on the chair before jumping into the water. The coolness of it relaxes your tense body. 

You swam alone for about five minutes until you heard the door open and close. Looking over, you find Jeno walking towards the pool in nothing but his black swimming trunks - matching your black bikini. You smile slightly and continue swimming when he gets in. 

“Didn’t find you in the room.” He says and you laugh. 

“I just wanted to clear my mind a bit.” You reply while swimming to him. 

“Something wrong?” He asks and you shake your head immediately. 

“No, nothing’s wrong.” You say and he stares at you. 

He knows that you’re lying, whenever you lie you always avert your eyes and press your lips together. He walks closer to you and backs you up against the wall of the pool. 

“Jeno.” You softly say but he cuts you off by placing his hands around your thighs. 

You whimper quietly as he places your legs around his waist. His dark eyes staring abc into yours and you have to bite your tongue to not release a moan. 

“Jeno.” You say quietly and he brings his face closer to you. 

“Hm?” He asks and you try to avert your eyes but he stops you. 

“Look at me.” He says and you listen to him. 

You look into his eyes and say nothing. He leans down further and starts pressing butterfly kisses on your neck. You let out a soft whimper before biting your lip. 

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He says before kissing your neck again. He makes his way up to your jaw and starts placing kisses there as well. 

You grip his shoulders tightly as you try to answer him but you couldn’t think of any words. Your mind was hazy, trying to tell him what was bothering you. You let another whimper when he harshly sucks on your neck, leaving a mark there. He pulls back and smiles devilishly at the mark he left before placing one last kiss on it. 

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll stop.” He says and you whimper again while shaking your head. 

“I can’t- I can’t concentrate if you do that.” You admit and he softly chuckles. 

He pulls back fully and looks into your eyes, his eyes begging for you to answer him. With a sigh, you look away from him and close your eyes before opening them and speaking. 

“What are we?” You ask and he furrows his brows. 

“What do you mean?” He asks for clarification. 

“I mean what are we? Why are you buying me gifts and acting like you’re my boyfriend when you’re not.” You say and feel your eyes getting teary. 

“I don’t like feeling like this Jeno. I don’t like feeling like the second option.” You say and he puts your legs down to hold your waist and bring you closer. 

“What do you mean it feels like a second choice?” He asks and you sigh again. 

“The first night we met and you slept in my room. You called me Giselle and begged for me to not leave you.” You admit and sniffle. 

Jeno shushes you and brings your head into his chest. After you calmed down a bit, he pulled back and looked at you again. 

“I promise, I’m over her. I don’t know why I said that, it was probably because Jaemin asked me about the situation and seeing her again… it was just too much for me.” He explains and cups your face into his hands. 

“I would never hurt you, princess.” He says and you whimper at the pet name. He chuckles at your response and brings his face closer to yours. 

“Can I kiss you.” 

You nod your head and that’s all Jeno needs before he crashes his lips onto yours. His lips were soft and tasted like mint. You followed his rhythm while wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands go lower to your butt and cups them, earning a moan from you. 

He smiles at the sound and pulls away from you to place kisses on your neck once again. “Jeno.” You moan his name, and he smiles into your neck. 

He smiles at the sound and pulls away from you to place kisses on your neck once again. “Jeno.” You moan his name and he smiles into your neck. 

“We should head inside.” You say unwrapping yourself from him. 

He nods his head at your suggestion and lets go of your waist. You slowly back away from him and smile shyly before turning around to walk out of the pool. He stares at your ass as you walk out and lets out a groan. 

“Do you have to look so hot walking out of the pool?” He retorts to you and you turn to flip him off jokingly before grabbing your towel and wrapping it around your body. 

He steps out of the pool as well and grabs his towel. You wait for him to dry himself off before the two of you walk back inside the house. A shy smile adorned your face the whole time. You still didn’t know what you and Jeno were, but at least you knew that he was completely over Giselle. 

You walk into your room and grab your skincare as well as a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom to shower. Slowly, you took off your clothes and stepped into the shower. The hot water burns your skin but that’s how you liked your showers. 

You lathered your rose scented shampoo into your hands before thoroughly applying it into your hair. You couldn’t help but think about what just happened. Your heart was bursting just remembering the kiss. You felt like a teenage girl experiencing some kind of first love. 

You softly giggled at your thoughts as you finished your shower. Stepping out of the tub, you reached over to a new towel to dry your body and apply some moisturizer on your face. As you rubbed the moisturizer between your hands, you glanced at the ring on your middle finger and smiled again. 

After changing into your pajamas (a pair of blue loose sweats and a white cropped tank top), you blow dried your hair. Once you were done, you walked out of the bathroom and into your shared room with Jeno. He was laying on the bed, having finished his shower earlier than you. 

He smiled and watched as you put your things away. He shuts off his phone and places it on the nightstand next to where he’s sleeping. You walk over to the bed and lift the covers up so you could slide in next to him. 

“Hi.” You softly say to him and he shortly laughs before greeting you back. 

“How was your shower?” He asks and you snuggle into the pillow. 

“It was relaxing, how was yours?” He turns his body to face you. 

“Good, I feel clean.” He replies and you stare into his eyes. 

Hesitantly, you bring your pointer finger up and trace his facial features. You traced over his eyebrows and nose before making your way to his mole under his eye. He laughs and his eyes turn into those little crescent moons that you love so much. 

“I love your eyes.” You say and trace over his eyelashes. 

“I like when they turn into moons when you smile.” You say and he laughs before grabbing your hand and placing it on his chest. 

You can feel his heartbeat, it was speeding up. You chuckle softly and look at him with your eyebrows raised. 

“My heart does that every time I think about you.” He softly says and you nuzzle your face into your pillow, getting shy. 

“Stop it.” You say and giggle. 

‘It’s the truth.” He says and brings your hand to his lips. 

He places a chaste kiss onto the back of your hand before placing it back onto his chest. 

“When we get back home, would you like to go on a date with me?” He asks, staring straight into your eyes. 

You nod your head and your lips curl up into a smile. “I would love to.” 

You lift your head up from the pillow and Jeno opens his arms to let you embrace him. His arms wrap securely around your figure and he sighs in content. 

“Goodnight, Jen.” You say to him and nuzzle in closer to his body. 

“Sweet dreams, princess.” He says and places a quick kiss onto your head before nuzzling into it. 

The both of you stay in that position all night long. His heartbeat and touch brought a sense of comfort to you and you didn’t ever want to let go of that feeling. Meanwhile, the boy next you was feeling the exact same way. 

-

Jeno wakes up the next morning reaching for your body only to be disappointed when he opens his eyes and realizes you’re not there. He rubs the sleepiness from his eyes and gets out of bed. 

Making his way to the kitchen, he’s greeted by the sight of you cutting up some fruit. You were so focused on cutting the watermelon that you didn’t hear him approach you. You slightly panic when you feel arms wrap around you from behind but once you recognize the rings, you instantly smile. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” You say to him and he grumbles in response. 

He places his chin on your shoulder and looks over at the watermelon that you’re currently cutting up. 

“That looks good." He comments and you giggle softly. 

“Do you want a piece?” You softly ask and feel his head nod on your shoulder. 

You grab a piece that you’ve already cut up and raise it to his lips. He opens up and eats the fruit from your hands. 

“Yummy?” You ask and he nods his head again in response. 

The conversation dies down after that. Occasionally, you would feed him pieces of fruit while he gladly ate them. Once you cut up enough fruit for all of you guys to enjoy, you turn around in his embrace to look at him. 

He smiles at you and leans in closer. He closes his eyes, going in for a kiss but you’re quicker. You shove a piece of strawberry into his mouth and he grumbles. 

“Someone might walk in.” You say softly and he shakes his head. 

“I don’t care. Let them see.” He says and leans in again. 

You shriek and escape from his grasp with the bowl of fruit in your hands. 

“Go wash up.” You tell him and he grumbles softly before walking into the bathroom. 

Today, you were all going to the beach and having a bonfire night. You put sunscreen, sunglasses and two towels in your bag, one for you and one for Jeno. After packing up the bag, you walk over to your duffel bag and pull out your baby pink bikini. 

After changing into it, your hickey was on display for everyone to see, so you looked into your bag for an oversized shirt. Jeno walks in just at that moment and whistles at you. You stand up from where you’re bending over and roll your eyes at him. 

“What are you looking for, princess?” He walks closer to you and you sigh. 

“I’m looking for an oversize shirt to wear over my bikini, but I don’t think I packed any.” You pout and he laughs before unzipping his duffel bag. 

He digs through his bag and pulls out a gray t-shirt. He looks at it for a second before walking over you and handing it to you. 

“Here you go.” He says and smiles when you grab it. 

You slip it on and look at yourself in the mirror. His shirt barely covered your ass but at least you were more covered than before. 

“Thanks, Jen.” You say and turn to place a quick kiss on his cheek which makes him blush. 

He waits for you to grab your bag before holding his hand out for you. You take his hand in yours and the both of you walk to the beach, catching up with the rest of your friends. 

-

You were sitting on the big beach towel with Mina and Yunjin and catching up on last night’s events. 

“I knew it!” Yunjin squeals and pulls you into her embrace. 

You laugh and pat her back while observing the boys play in the water. Haechan was on Mark’s shoulder, Chenle on Jeno’s, and Jisung on Jaemin’s while Renjun was the referee. They were playing chicken fight and trying to knock each other off. 

You grabbed your phone and quickly took photos of Jeno just for you to keep before taking pictures of the three of you. After spending about 3 hours in the sun, you all agreed that it was time to go back to the house. 

Once everyone was back, they all went to their separate rooms, tired from their beach day. You quickly washed your feet before slipping into bed with Jeno for a nap. Jeno’s arms were around you and he had that devilish smirk he always has on. 

He sits up and lays on top of you, his necklace dangling over you. He slides his shirt over his head and  you widen your eyes and try to stop him but he pins your hands above your head. He leans in and starts placing kisses on your jaw before going lower. 

You softly moan and try to break free from his grip, wanting to touch him. He slightly chuckles before releasing your hands. Instantly, they travel to his hair and you slightly pull on it. He sucks particularly hard on your soft spot and you let out a loud moan. 

“Quiet, princess. We don’t want everyone hearing you do we?” He says to you with his head tilted as if he was mocking you. 

You whimper and bite your bottom lip to keep the noises from coming out. His hands teasingly run up and down the sides of your torso. 

“Jeno.” You softly whisper and he chuckles. 

“I know, baby. You gotta be patient okay? Can you do that for me?” He asks, looking into your eyes and you nod your head. 

“Good girl.” He says and his fingers slowly go towards the waistband of your shorts. 

Your belly button piercing on display for him to see and he groans at the sight of it glimmering underneath him. He pushes his fingers against your core teasingly which draws out a whimper from you. 

“Take it off please.” You beg and he almost cums at how whiny you sound. He slowly pulls your shorts down and sees the growing wet spot on your pink lacy panties. 

“You’re such a slut.” He degrades and you whine from his usage of words. 

“M’ not.” You defend and writhe underneath him. 

“No?” He asks teasingly before sliding a finger in between your folds through your panties. 

“Jeno.” You moan loudly at the contact and he brings his hands over your lips to muffle the noises. 

“Quiet baby.” He says and removes his hands from your mouth while leaning into your neck. 

‘You’re so wet, princess. Who are you so wet for huh?” He asks while sliding your panties down to your thighs. 

Your glistening folds make his dick grow even more and he can’t help himself. He slides his finger through your folds teasingly as you try to contain your moans. Your hands go around to his back and grip him tightly. He slips a finger into your hole and you squeeze your eyes shut. 

You moan loudly at the feeling of his fingers inside of you, not answering his question. Jeno groans at your lack of answering and rips your panties off your body. You gasp as you hear the tearing of fabric.

“Jeno! Those were my favorite.” You say and he darkly chuckles. 

He moves one of his hands from your waist to your neck. His grip tightens and you gasp at the feeling of your airway being blocked. 

“You answer me when I ask you a question, princess.” He says seductively and stops pumping his fingers into you.

You whine at the loss of friction and he squints his eyes at you before pulling out completely. 

“No.” You quietly whimper out and Jeno tightens his grip around your neck even more. 

“Answer me.” He growls and you can feel your heat getting wetter. 

“You!” You say, trying your best to get the words out. 

He smirks and brings his lips back onto yours. His grip gets even tighter making you feel light headed from the loss of oxygen. He slowly lets go of your neck and pushes his finger into your heat again. You moan into his lips and he feels his cock getting harder. 

He pushes in another finger and you moan into his ear. “Jeno please!” You beg and he laughs cockily at you. He kisses your cheek before moving to your ear. 

“Please what, princess? What do you want?” He asks and you groan in frustration. 

“Please. Mphh… Want you inside me.” You say, whining when his fingers start to pump faster and harder into you. 

“Jeno! M’ gonna cum!” You babble and he groans into your ear. 

“C’mon princess, cum all over my fingers. I know you can do it. You’ve been such a good girl.” He says and edges you on even more. 

Your moans grow progressively louder and Jeno has to clamp his hands over your mouth again to muffle them. You feel the knot in your stomach tighten before it breaks. You finish with a loud moan that’s muffled but he doesn’t stop his ministrations. He moves his fingers even faster causing you to try to push him away. 

“Jeno! M’ sensitive!” You muffle out, gripping his arm hoping that he’ll remove his fingers but he doesn't. 

He grabs your hands and pins them against the bed again. He licks a stripe up your neck and sucks harshly again, leaving a trail of his marks starting from your ear all the way down to your chest. 

“Jeno, I’m gonna-” You're interrupted when a second orgasm washes over you and you let out a shrilling moan, hoping that no one was awake to hear. 

"That's it baby.” He says and slowly pulls his fingers from your heat. 

You babble and hum out incoherent words as you try to catch your breath. He pushes his shorts past his dick and gets on his knees. You look at his angry red tip. He was so huge and you gasp as you try to squirm away from him. 

“Jeno, I can’t.” You attempt to say through heaving breaths but he just laughs and grips your thighs to bring you back closer to him. 

“Yes you can, baby. I know you can take it." He says and spreads your legs further apart. He lines up his tip with your entrance. He lets out a quiet groan when he feels your gummy walls around him. 

You bite your lip to not let you moans out as you feel his bare dick inside you and you try to catch your breath. He was so much bigger than you expected. The stretch was too painful as he quickly pushed himself all the way in. He was bigger than anything you’ve ever taken before.

“S’ too big.” You mewl out and he laughs. 

You were fueling his ego even more and you didn’t even know it. 

“I know, baby. I know.” He says and stays still for a bit so you can get used to his size. After a minute, you nod your head and give him the green light. 

He pulls out and slams himself back into you causing you to put your hands over your mouth. You chant his name in your hands like a mantra and that only fuels him more. 

He starts thrusting inside you harder, faster, and deeper. You quickly wrap your hands around him and shove your face into his neck. He was reaching places that you didn’t even know existed. Your vision was so blurry, you felt like you were seeing stars. Your freshly done nails scratched against his back and biceps. 

“I can feel you, baby. You’re almost there.” He says into your ear and you nod your head. His grip on your hips were so tight, you were sure there were going to be bruises tomorrow. 

‘C’mon baby, cum. Cream all over my dick.” He says raspily into your ears and that’s all you need before the knot comes undone, creaming all over his cock. He groans at the sight and chases after his own orgasm. 

He finishes inside of you and leans his head into your neck. He places kisses all over the marks he left on your body. You smile and run your fingers through his hair. Giggling, you pull his head away from your neck and place a quick kiss on his lips. 

He smiles and leans his forehead against yours. He breathes you in deeply with you doing the same. The smile never leaves both of your faces. Your tummy was so warm with his cock buried inside, you didn't want him to pull away. 

However he does and you wince at the loss of him. His cum leaks out of your whole and he reaches down to push it back in. 

“Jeno!” You yelp and he laughs before sliding his finger out. 

“Didn’t want it to go to waste.” He says while looking at his art work. Your core was throbbing with spurts of white escaping and he felt himself getting hard again but he knew you couldn’t go on anymore. 

He grabs his discredited shirt off the floor and wipes at your core before grabbing another pair of panties from your bag. He slides it up your thighs and places a kiss over them before pulling his own shorts and boxers up. 

You get up from the bed to go pee before getting back into bed with him. He wraps his arms around you again as you lay close to him. You sigh blissfully as he places his head in between your boobs. He gets a perfect view of your neck covered in his marks from there and smirks. Your hands go to his hair and you start playing with it. Sooner or later the both of you pass out from exhaustion. 

-

Your eyes flutter open as you look around for Jeno but he is nowhere to be found. The sunlight from earlier is now gone. You get out of bed and change into a pair of sweats. You knew it was a bit chilly outside since you could see the tree leaves swaying back and forth. 

You go to Jeno’s bag and pull out a black hoodie. Quickly slipping it on, you walk outside to the bonfire where everyone is sitting. You walk up to Jeno who gestures for you to sit on him. You sit down on his lap and wrap your arms around his neck. 

He passes the blunt to Jaemin before wrapping his arms around you. 

“Do you want a drink, Yn?” Jisung asks and hands you a cup filled with jungle juice. You slightly thank him before taking a sip. 

“Good?” The man under you asks and you nod your head at him. 

He glances at your hoodie and notices that it’s his. He doesn’t say anything but he smiles at the thought of you wearing his clothes again. 

You watch the fire as everyone around you engages in their own conversations. Looking around, you catch Jaemin looking at you and Jeno. He brings his hands up and gives you a thumbs up which causes you to laugh slightly. 

You look back down to Jeno to find him already staring at you. He slightly chuckles and intertwines your hands together. You smile sheepishly and he can’t help but to plant a kiss on your cheek. You gasp and hit his shoulder lightly with your free hand while he laughs. 

You pull your phone out from your (his) hoodie pocket and furrow your eyebrows when you see that Giselle started following you on Instagram. Quietly, you show it to Jeno who rolls his eyes. 

“Just block her, that’s what I did.” He says and you nod your head but you don’t actually do it. You just turn your phone off. 

-

Unfortunately time flew by too fast and you found yourself in class 3 months later. Your professor was rambling on about something that you could care less about. You looked at the clock and let out a breath of relief when you noticed that there was only 5 minutes left of class. 

Quietly, you start packing up your bag and shutting down your laptop. Just as you finish packing, the professor dismisses you guys while talking about the assignment due next week. You jump out of your seat as soon as she’s done talking and quickly walk out. 

Your phone pings and you look at it while walking. 

we’re waiting for you baby -jen

okay, coming! :) -princess 

You quickly speed up and walk over to the parking lot where everyone was gathered around their cars. You happily skip to Jeno who’s leaning against the hood of his car. His arms open wide as he waits for you to embrace him. 

He groans when you throw your arms around his neck and smiles. 

“Missed you.” He says and squeezes you tighter to him. 

“You just saw me this morning.” You say with a giggle and he shrugs his shoulders. 

“I always miss you.” He admits and kisses you quickly on the lips. 

Jeno and you finally made it official a few weeks ago after “talking” for two months. You guys were on a date like usual only this time you guys were walking in the park and enjoying the first snowfall of the season. 

“I love the snow.” You say, smiling wildly as you catch a falling snow in your hand. 

Jeno observes the way your eyes light up as you bring it closer to your face to inspect it. He felt his heartbeat fasten and he knew he had to ask you right then and there. He tugs on your hand that he was holding and you look up at him. 

What’s wrong?” You ask as you stare into his eyes. 

Jeno inhales sharply before looking at you. 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asks quickly and your eyes widen. 

You softly let out a laugh and wrap your arms around him and he reciprocates. You pull away and plant a kiss onto his lips before pulling away and squealing with a “Yes!” 

He laughs at your reaction and brings you in closer. His hand going to cradle your head as he connects both of your lips together again. 

Your arms go to his waist as you hold him tightly while kissing him back. He pulls away and you nuzzle your head into his chest. His arms squeeze and pull you in closer. The snowfall started falling harder but you both didn’t care. You stood there in each other’s embrace as the snow hit the ground.

“Let’s go.” Jaemin says and the eight of you pile into the cars to head over to lunch. Jeno opens the passenger door for you and you quickly get in before he closes it and rushes over to the driver’s seat. He gets in and places his hand on your thigh. 

You smile and grab his hand that’s on yours before he reverses his car and pulls out of the parking lot. Jeno wasn’t in your plans when you first arrived but you’re so glad he meddled his way into your life. As you look over at him, you smile and press a kiss to his cheek which makes me smile. 

His eyes make those cute little crescent moons that you love so damn much. He brings your hand to his lips and kisses the back of it before placing your hands back into your lap. You fell hard for Jeno and you still continue to fall hard for him. 

No amount of measurements could measure how happy you feel right now. If falling for someone felt this good, you would’ve done it a long time ago. But then again, maybe it only feels good because it’s Lee Jeno you’re falling for. 

End.

Thank you So much for reading my first ever fic! I spent so much time planning and rewriting this, but I'm glad to finally have it out for you guys to read. Sending you lots of love and kisses!

xoxo, jenoroyals

[raspberriesoda]

paranoia » njm + ljn

genre | smut (mdni!!) jaemin x afab!reader x jeno

word count | 3k

summary | an innocent game of paranoia with your friends while on a ski trip makes you realize that maybe you never knew you wanted to fuck your boyfriend jaemin’s best friend. and maybe, your boyfriend is okay with that.

warnings | smut, swearing, alcohol consumption, threesome, unprotected sex but he pulls out, established relationship with jaemin, jeno is shy and a little bit of a perv ig?, dom!jaem sub!jen basically, cuckolding, lots of pet names from jaemin he’s a sweetie pie

a.n | this fic was purely self indulgent lmaoo, when i would go on choir ski trips in high school we would always play paranoia in the hot tub at the resort (no nomin threesome though unfortunately ugh unfair) and my bestie and i had major brainrot one day a few years later and uhh this was born!

also if anyone doesn’t know what paranoia is, basically you get a group of friends and sit in a circle, one person whispers a “who in the group is most likely to” type question to the person next to them so the rest of the group doesn’t hear it, and then they answer it out loud. if the person who asked wins rock paper scissors the other person has to reveal what the question was, but if they lose then the question remains a secret (i added the caveat that if you lose and you really don’t want to tell you can take a shot as a safety)

“ooohhh,” haechan muses, his hand scratching at his chin. he glances around the circle of his friends surrounding him in the hot tub, eyeing everyone very intently and contemplating the question ningning had just whispered in his ear.

“probably renjun,” he answers after some thought.

“renjun??” ningning gapes. “my money was totally on mark.”

“shut up! you’ll give it away!” haechan hisses.

the pair turn to each other and present their fists. after three slaps to their hands, ninging lets out a ‘ha!’ when her two fingers snip at haechan’s open palm.

without missing a beat, haechan reaches into the middle of the circle, snatching one of the pre-prepared shots sitting in a slot in a little yellow floaty.

“you loser!” ningning yells. “was it not you who said you’re a pussy if you chicken out when i took a shot?”

“cry about it.” haechan throws the shot back down his throat and tosses the little plastic cup behind him to clatter on the wet tile. suddenly ningning grabs haechan by his shoulders and in one swift motion his head is completely underwater. his arm holds his fruity blue cocktail high in the air so as to not spill it, but it still sloshes around as he flails, frantic bubbles rising up to the surface. jisung reaches forward and grabs the floaty to pull it away from the chaos and keep the shots from dancing across the water.

haechan resurfaces when ningning lets him go, coughing dramatically and wiping the water away from his eyes. “my drink! my drink!” he sputters.

you giggle at the antics of your drunken friends, but its difficult to give them your full attention when jaemin is pressed against your left side. his right hand glides across your thigh under the hot water, dangerously close to the bottom of your white bikini.

he’s paying no mind to the game. his nose is pressed against your neck, his breath feeling cold against your skin in comparison to the hot air around you. you swat at his hand when his thumb brushes against the fabric between your thighs; jaemin has never been one to shy away from public affection, especially when he’s tipsy, so you’re the one tasked with keeping him under control. you find that it's hard to care that much though, considering that even before the game began you were already three shots deep. jaemin just chuckles, lifting his free hand to brush your wet hair from your shoulder and places a hot kiss behind your ear.

you turn to look over at him, your head tilting back and to the side so your lips brush lightly against his own as you move. it's snowing, the night sky completely clouded over, but the heat from the hot tub makes the puffy white flakes dissolve in the air before they can touch the water, and they fizzle away as you watch them land in his hair. jaemin catches his bottom lip between his teeth, a dazed and loving smile matching the way his glossy eyes look at you in the winter air. you lean forward just a bit to meet him in a kiss. he sighs happily, leaning in closer to deepen it.

the game has made its way down the circle and someone grabs your attention by telling jaemin that it’s his turn. he chases your lips when you pull away, your face flushed upon remembering you aren’t alone, all the while he seems unphased.

without looking away from you he hums in thought, watching as the condensation clinging to your skin rolls down your chest. he brings a hand up to cup your ear and whispers his question.

“who’s most likely to fuck you better than me?”

even in the steamy air, the blush that rises to your face is unmistakable. your eyes widen, making a devilish smile appear on his lips.

“ohhh look at her face!” karina says coyly. “must have been a spicy question!”

you’re too stunned to speak. you’d never been conscious of it, but apparently you knew the answer to this question before even being presented with it.

your eyes then flicker over to scan your group of friends; everyone’s eyes are on you and all of a sudden you feel like you’re a second from overheating.

“you’ve gotta answer, baby. its part of the game,” jaemin teases, snapping you out of your thoughts. the smirk playing his features is mischievous; his hand slyly finds its way between your legs again, and when his fingers slip under the band of your swimsuit and press roughly against you, you blurt out your answer without being able to stop yourself.

“jeno!”

its clear everyone was under the impression that the question presented to you was intimate, and a series of surprised and boisterous hoots and hollers erupt all around you. jeno laughs nervously from a few spots down the circle, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. you swallow hard. it's too late now to wonder if you should have just kept your mouth shut.

jaemin pulls your attention back to him. your eyes are apprehensive when they meet his; he immediately takes notice of your change in demeanor, and he gives you a sweet, reassuring smile. when you smack your hands down in sync, he waits just a second to see your fist still clenched, and he slips two fingers out of his to let you win.

“that’s cheating!!” haechan whines from across the hot tub. “you saw her play!”

jaemin just presses a soft kiss to your wet cheek and drapes his arm around your shoulders. “cry about it.”

the next morning, you wake up to the sounds and smells of breakfast being made. through the dehydration and dull headache of your small hangover, what you’d said the night prior runs rampant in your head.

you feel a strange sense of guilt gnawing at you. jaemin acted no differently than normal following your confession, but you can't shake the feeling that you’d upset him. it was his best friend's name you’d said after all, so you aren’t quite sure why he hasn't at least brought it up again.

the dream you’d just awoken from involving said best friend didn't help settle your nerves either.

you shuffle out of the sheets and walk into the kitchen of the small condo you and your boyfriend are sharing for the weekend. you take a seat on one of the barstools surrounding the kitchen island, tapping your fingers on the marble countertop as you watch jaemin from behind him. he hums to himself, dropping ingredients into a sizzling pan.

“jaem?” you start. he spins around, and he grins at you.

“good morning, my love,” he greets you, crossing the space and leaning down to kiss you.

“are you mad at me?”

in retrospect, it's a stupid question; he hadn’t given any indication that he was upset with you at all, but your worried conscience outweighs your common sense.

jaemin’s smile falls, a look of confusion replacing it. “of course not, baby, why would i be?”

“because of last night,” you mutter, your shoulders slumped.

jaemin takes a seat on a stool across from you and pauses to think. “i don’t remember you doing anything last night to make me upset, babydoll.”

“i mean, like, what i said in the hot tub.”

he blinks at you. after a second, his face lights up in realization. “what, about jeno?”

you nod, lowering your head in shame. jaemin chuckles, placing a warm hand under your jaw to bring your eyes back up. his thumb brushes against your burning skin.

“baby, why would i be mad about that? i asked you the question in the first place.”

“because he's your best friend.”

“so? as his best friend, i know better than most that he’s attractive,” he jokes. you’re honestly confused as to why he's so casual about it.

“i um- i had a dream about him last night.”

when he lifts a brow and tilts his head, you reach up to tightly squeeze his hand that still lays on your face and scramble to clarify. “but it didn't mean anything jaem, i promise! please don’t be mad, please, i really would never do anything like that-“

“baby, shh, its okay,” he cups your face in his hands, squishing your cheeks together. heavy, anxious breathing fills your chest. “i love you and i trust you, i promise i’m not upset with you, sweetheart.”

a sigh falls, your worries dissolving into the warm air. jaemin presses a kiss to your forehead. an idea seems to pop into his head just then, and he smirks.

“besides, there's no one i'd rather share my girl with than my best friend anyway.”

heat rushes up your neck again. “share?”

“well yeah, if you’re comfortable with that. i’d love to help my pretty baby bring that dream to life for a night.”

there's snow piling on the sill just outside the bedroom window, but jeno’s forehead still glimmers with a light sheen of sweat in the soft glow of the bedside lamp.

as you and the girls were on the slopes earlier in the day, jaemin pulled jeno aside to talk to him once he knew you were on board with his idea. jaemin had always known jeno thought you were pretty, it was in the way he looked at you and spoke a little softer to you than most. but it didn't bother jaemin; after all, who could really blame him? jaemin had fallen in love with you for a reason.

needless to say though, jaemin’s proposal left jeno completely shocked. he really tried to hide his crush on you so as to not upset anyone; losing his best friend over it wasn't worth the risk and he saw how in love you were, he would feel like a monster if he did anything to ruin that. so learning about your little crush on him made his heart flutter in his chest.

he would have to be an insane man to decline this offer.

so now, you kneel in front of him on yours and jaemin’s bed, your bare knees digging into the plush of the mattress. you’d just showered after your long day of skiing, and the lingering scent of vanilla has jeno reeling already.

“are you nervous?” you ask him. your shorts are riding up, disappearing behind the hem of your thin white tshirt. your hair is still damp, and the wetness seeps through the fabric, making the top of your chest slightly more visible.

jeno gives a hesitant nod, a quiet laugh slipping through his shy smile.

“me too,” you admit, matching his timid demeanor.

jaemin catches your eye from his spot by the window, the ice clinking in his frosted glass as he stands between the sheer curtains.

“she's a good girl, jen. she’ll do what you tell her, right baby?”

you turn back towards jeno and give him an innocent nod. jeno feels embarrassed by how hard he already is just from your sweet doe eyes and the way you puff your lips up in a little pout. you lean forward on your knees, your fingers gripping the sheets. your elbows push your chest forward and jeno has to remind himself he doesn't have to force his gaze away this time.

“tell me what you want, nono,” you coo. jeno swallows hard.

“show me what happened in your dream.”

you obey immediately, crawling forward and situating yourself on his lap. your fingers trace ever so delicately up his abdomen and chest; you can feel how his muscles are tense under his shirt, but when you dip down to press warm, feathery kisses to the side of his neck, the strain fades away almost instantly. you grip his shoulders and rock yourself against him. his fingers dig into your hips and he shudders at the soft, slow friction.

jaemin watches you intently, leaning his weight on his arm against the perch of the window, and he lifts his glass to take a sip. this brand new view of you absolutely captivates him; you look so.. so pretty it makes him twitch in his sweat pants.

with your lips still attached to jeno’s neck your hands find their way down his waistband. you tug at the elastic of his basketball shorts, reaching in to palm him over his boxers, eliciting a low groan that vibrates against your lips. his head falls back and his eyes flutter closed.

pulling away you scoot back enough to pull the fabric away from his waist, watching as his cock springs up and out of his shorts. you keep your gaze locked with his as you grab him by the base and drag your hand slowly up the shaft. jeno whimpers as you pump your fist up and down, squeezing every time your fingers reach the tip.

you lift yourself up and stand on your knees that sit on either side of jeno’s lap, your chest almost pressing against his face as you use his shoulders for balance. he has to suppress the moan that rises in this throat when you shove your shorts and panties off your legs and sink down onto him without warning.

your wet hair sways in front of your face as you bounce slowly up and down on him, adjusting to his length. you’re so warm and soft and you grip around him so well that jeno feels delirious; he might not be able to last long.

your lips suddenly mesh with his and he feels like he's on cloud nine. jeno’s tongue flicks into your mouth and he feels you dig your nails into the back of his neck, tugging at his hair. you whimper into his mouth as jeno kisses you like his life depends on it.

suddenly your hair is tangled in jaemin’s grip and your head is yanked back, your lips pulling away from jeno’s with a wet smack and a loud cry is ripped from your throat. your head falls back onto jaemin’s shoulder and an earth shattering whine echoes through the room. jeno feels embarrassed by the heavy groan he can't help but let out, until jaemin looks at him with a knowing smirk.

“you like that, jen? she’s very vocal.” jaemin’s free hand reaches up to squeeze the base of your neck. “isn’t that right, baby girl? you make such pretty noises when you feel good, yeah?” you nod, reaching a shaky arm up and behind you to scratch at jaemin’s shoulder. you let out a trembling whimper.

“you wanna show jen how good i can make you feel, huh?”

your swollen lips press together; a strangled ‘mhm’ is all you can manage.

jaemin then pulls your hips towards him, a sticky wet sound making you blush as jeno slips out of your folds. the empty feeling doesn't linger for long, however. jaemin replaces him immediately, slamming his hips up into you and hitting the spot that makes you crumble every time.

your face looks so beautiful to jeno in this moment, scrunched up in pleasure. jaemin’s hand still grips your hair to tilt your head back as he rams into you, his face buried in your neck leaving messy purple bruises across your skin.

jeno thinks he might just cum untouched from the sight.

one of your hands reaches out to grip jeno’s cock again in an attempt to aid him in just that, but jaemin is fucking into you so mercilessly that you can’t manage to keep up a steady pace. so jeno grips your hand in his, guiding your arm up and down. tears begin to spill through your lashes and you see stars behind your closed eyes. jeno kisses up your jaw on the side opposite jaemin, making his way up to lock his lips with your own once again.

“ah, a-ahh hah.” you begin to babble and whine and your kiss becomes sloppy. jeno knows you’re close. he begins to pump faster to reach the height you’re at, and as you clench around jaemin’s cock and scream out through your orgasm your head falls forward to rest on jeno’s shoulder. with a humiliatingly loud moan jeno cums with you, sticky thick ropes shooting out and painting your thighs a milky white.

jaemin rides you through your orgasm, and when you start to whine from overstimulation, he pulls out and let’s you fall back on his chest. your vision is blurry, your breath is labored. in jaemin’s warm arms you decide that staying completely conscious would be entirely too difficult, so you allow yourself to drift off.

later that night, you lay in bed between both jaemin and jeno, your exhausted body having been cleaned up and taken care of by the pair of boys. jeno is out cold behind you, snuggled up into your back and snoring softly.

jaemin is settled in front of you. your arms wrap around his neck as you kiss him, pressed up against his bare chest. his fingers trace along your side as he hums on your lips, moving slowly and tenderly along with you.

he grabs your chin softly in his fingers, pulling away from the kiss gently. you smile dreamily as his thumb brushes your bottom lip.

“did your dream come true, baby?” he asks, his voice breathy.

you sigh. “it was even better.”

“better?”

“of course, you were there.”

its rare that you fluster jaemin, but his eyes light up at your words and you swear you see him blush in the dim light. he grins at you, leaning down to connect your lips again.

“wait,” you say suddenly, stopping him. though its only been a short while your memory is foggy, and you realize you don't remember jaemin reaching his own high. “jaem, did you not-“

somehow, jaemin reads your mind. “don't worry about that, baby girl. i wanted you to feel good tonight.”

“noo jaem that’s not fair to you,” you whine, beginning to slide your hand down, but he catches it.

“we’ll wake jeno up if you do that, baby,” he whispers. you glace over your shoulder, noticing how jeno is basically spooning you, his face buried in the fabric of your sweatshirt between your shoulders and his arms circling your waist.

you smirk, turning back around.

“why not let him help, then?”

[hugs2doie]

the people need more bf jeno texts!!! (i am the people) also i love ur blog sm you are so cute!! <33333 hope all is well

୨ more jeno bf texts .ᐟ

HELPE THSI IS SO REAL A LOT OF PPL HAVE BEEN REQUESTING MORE JENO BF POSTS FOE A WHILE NOW 😭😭

but thank u sm lers kiss ☹️ sverythings good!! i howp eevrytiing is also good for u pook!!

[neochan]

MISCHIEF (M)

PARING | loki!jeno x reader ft. thor!haechan

SYNOPSIS | the god of mischief wants you

WC | 1k

WARNINGS | kidnapping, implied sexual references, slight cnc / dubcon

A.N | okay i've been super into marvel lately, so here is a little drabble inspired by that. please pay attention to the pairings! btw this will be continued in full over on my marvel blog, though it will be with actual loki and thor

“i didn’t expect to be seeing you on your knees so soon darling.”

the god slouches leisurely against his high-back throne. dark green and golden metal that went beyond that of earth complemented his fair complexion, the jagged spikes at the top reminiscent of the hungry gleam in his eye. one of his legs is dragged towards his chest, a toned arm slung across the knee. it was uncommon to see a god in such a state. unbothered, unproper, inappropriate for someone of his status.

you suppose he could do what he wished. that much was evident in the situation at hand, literally. fingers uncomfortably dig into the skin of your upper arms, half pulling, half dragging, you along the cool marble floor until you were situated on your scraped knees before the god. the binding holding your wrists together behind your back pinches the skin, but you don’t cry out. in fact, you give them nothing.

his guards don’t let go until he flicks a hand in their direction, dismissing them from their duty. he looks unbothered when he does it, as if you hadn’t been the very thing he scoured the multiverse for. years on end, tracking, searching, yearning for you. the very thing needed to satiate that hunger in his eyes; the reprieve for an insatiable creature. it was only by your incompetence that he captured you. falling for his mind tricks – something so simple yet so incredibly careless. you’d beat yourself up every single second you spent in the tiny cell you were in – tucked away in the corner of his ship where no one could hear you yelling obscenities at yourself, the guards, the god.

without thinking, you spit in his direction. you hated him. despised him. the guards go to grab you again but jeno simply waves them off, “no need gentlemen. seem’s like our visitor here needs to learn manners. please occupy yourselves with something else so i can teach her.”

the two men bow low to the ground before retreating to tend to other matters on the ship. not like there was much to do, you were drifting through deep space. some place no one would find you. not even haechan.

“haechan will come looking for me.” you seethe, gritting your teeth when jeno hops up off the stool and tauntingly saunters towards you.

his footsteps echo through the room. the noise makes your stomach churn, and you fear him for a second. he was a god. someone so powerful he could rip your existence from time and space. he should be feared. you knew he could sense it too, a smug smirk lifting the corner of his upper lip.

“my brother isn’t even aware of your disappearance.” the annoyance on his tongue at their familial tie is evident.

that couldn’t be. he knew you were gone. he was probably assembling the avengers as you spoke, he was probably already on his way, maybe even close-

“oh my darling y/n, he’s not on his way. and he’s definitely not close.”

mind reading. you sneer, “fuck off.”

“what filthy words for a pretty girl like you. do i need to wash your mouth out with soap like a child?” his eyebrows raise, features mimicking faux concern.

spit works itself up in your mouth, but right before you’re about to project it in his direction, his hand reaches out and squeezes your jaw, “you are a child. didn’t your mommy and daddy teach you not to spit on people. gods, i expected more from you.” his calloused fingers squeeze harder, “swallow.”

you have no choice but to comply.

“now, why don’t i teach you how to properly use that mouth of yours, hm?”

the heat that was threatening to pool between your legs betrays your brain, which was screaming at you to say no. to break free of the binds and get the fuck out of there.

“darling, i can feel it. you want – need it as much as i do.” he lets go of your jaw and takes a step back, “it’s distracting…overwhelming.” his eyes close and he breathes deep, “your body… it’s tense. waiting for...”he smirks, and you feel the familiar probe of his mind searching your own, “my fingers?” his eyes snap open, “gods, you have a thing for my hands? oh darling it’s too late to deny it now.”

you hated how intrusive he was. how he could take any of the thoughts from your brain and devour them. a personal diary for the picking.

“stop reading my mind! i d-don’t have a thing for your hands. LET ME GO!” your scream rings out through the foyer. this was humiliating. defeating. you just wanted to go home.

“my sweet, i can make this your home. your empire.” he kneels down in front of you, a hand reaching out to caress the same jaw he had nearly crushed earlier, “i didn’t almost crush your jaw. i was stopping you from ruining my suit.”

doe eyes peak up at him with anger, “get your hands off of me.”

“would you rather them be here?” light as a feather, his fingers trail down the side of your throat, favoring the front of the tattered shirt you were in. they slip underneath the hem and slide over the expanse of your stomach.

the gasp that leaves your lips is a betrayal of your own mind.

“i know you want this darling. give in to me.” the god of mischief, chaos, and trickery stares at you through his heavy lashes. you knew he could manipulate someone’s mind, make them bend to his will with one look, but as you nod your head slowly, the words refusing to come out, you realize that there was no manipulation.

he was right all along.

[rrxnjun]

i'm not bitter anymore (i'm syrupy sweet) ;; ljn

pairing: lee jeno x fem! reader genre: slight band au, college au | fluff, hurt/comfort wc: 4.8k (4.817) warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing

a spin-off to my fic i'm not angry anymore (well, sometimes i am) where jeno gets a redemption arc <3

When you first meet Lee Jeno, his exterior calls at you with hard chords that keep slowly burning out. Now, rather than a piercing echo, he holds himself to you like a soft melody.

Lee Jeno sits on his bed, chewing on his bottom lip as he nervously types into the chat he has opened, kicking his leg up and down in a steady, but fast rhythm. Looking around the room for one moment, trying to calm himself down with a loud breath in and out, he glances back at the phone screen and rereads the sentence he wrote over and over again, trying to hear it in his own head, desperately needing the tone to be just right.

hey i thought of you while making this haha

Furrowing his brows, he deletes the words he wrote, huffing out in frustration. He sounds too awkward. Too casual, even. He doesn’t know how these two even go together, but somehow, he managed to do it. He didn’t know he was able to get across two very different emotions in one sentence, but he thinks that this is perhaps his new talent. Maybe he can use it in songwriting someday… if he ever gets back into music, that is.

Fastly typing on the screen, holding in his breath, he changes the sentence from its base and finds himself reading over the new one, trying to figure out if it’s better.

hi! i made you this. listen to it if you have time!

His eyes scan over the words countless times again, hating the way it sounds in his brain. This is too enthusiastic. Too joyful, sounding piercing in his brain. This is not how he wants you to perceive him. Not after all this time, not after all the emotions you’ve awakened in him. Is this the same emotion he used to see in Ryusol’s eyes whenever she used to look at him last year? It’s scary to think that he let her down so much, but he finds comfort in knowing that Yangyang was there to catch her when he let her go. Maybe he wouldn’t be so stupid if he understood this emotion all this time ago. Maybe he wouldn’t have made so many mistakes…

Cracking his knuckles, he rolls his eyes at himself and deletes the message again, promising himself that this is going to be the last attempt. He either nails it, or he doesn’t– in this case, he will keep the whole thing a secret and never attempt to subtly hint you his feelings ever again. 

hey y/n :) i made you a playlist 

The message is simple. The smiley face gives it more sparkle, a sense of emotion, even. The tone it reads inside of his brain is casual, but with a giving undertone– he hopes it gets through to you in the same way. Adding the spotify link to the playlist he made for you, he finally presses the send button and throws the phone away to the other side of his bed, not wanting to see you react to it in real time. That’s too stressful. He’s not used to the frantic speed of his heart whenever he’s around you yet.

If he really thinks about it, this might be the first time he’s ever tried for someone. All of those times before, girls threw themselves at him at every step he took, every song he used to sing with his band, making countless hopeless hearts break for him when he only stayed with them for one night. He’s never had to try for anyone. He’s never had to do nice things for someone, he’s never had to pay attention to the conversations he was having, he’s never had to give gifts to girls to get them to be with him. They came naturally to him, and he never really cared about their emotions anyway. Love wasn’t something he was inclined to feel, and he never felt the need to have someone by his side for long enough. 

Perhaps, he was battling loneliness more effectively– without having to try to make someone stay, he chose to have a different girl every night. It was easier. He never got attached, so it meant that he never had the chance to get his heart broken. Sometimes, he didn’t even realize he was breaking somebody’s heart– he never quite understood how somebody could feel deeper for him, when all they saw was the surface he chose to show to everyone at his concerts and after parties. The first time it dawned on him was when he broke Ryusol’s heart. Maybe that was the moment that opened his eyes.

Lee Jeno thinks he’s never tried for anyone before. In his eyes, this is the first time he’s openly caring for someone.

He doesn’t think about all those times he helped you with your assignments. He doesn’t think about all those times he assured you you looked nice or all those times when he went grocery shopping with you at 8pm, even though he was tired and you lived 20 minutes away. He doesn’t think about all those times he’s given you a ride home and about all those times when he walked you to school, helping you revise for your exams.

It doesn’t click for him when he breaks his habits, even. When he doesn’t try to get you to sleep with him the first night you sleep over at his house when you’re too tired to walk to your dorms, when he doesn’t leave you on read for three days or when he actually listens to what you’re saying, offering advice when needed and being the shoulder for you to cry on when you don’t really feel like solving your problems.

It only clicks for him when he sends you the link to the spotify playlist he made while thinking about you late last night, adding the song he recorded about you and posted to his new solo spotify account last week. 

Perhaps Lee Jeno still only expresses himself through music.

Sitting in the university auditorium, Jeno finds himself to be hyper-aware of your presence next to him. You’re sitting in the very last row, accompanied by all of Jeno’s friends– Renjun, Donghyuck, Mark, Jaemin, Chenle and Hendery (even though the band isn’t active anymore and they broke it off for the best for everyone), hell, even Ryusol and Yangyang, even though the boy doesn’t even go to university. It’s kind of surreal how one year can change everything, Jeno thinks; what he thought was the best for him was now broken off, and the friendships he found himself to be mistreating now had stronger bonds than ever. 

He wonders how you even ended up in the middle of it all, in the middle of his small galaxy. You two met in the club, where you were working part-time and he often went to drown his feelings away. After he had a falling out with his friends because of the way he was acting when he was too busy with chasing fame with his band, he found himself to be the loneliest he’s ever been, now that he didn’t have the support of others and the screaming rows full of girls that were all over him. Without the band, he often felt like nothing– worthless, not interesting. 

But then you came– asking him if he was the Lee Jeno from the band, and if he was feeling alright after the band’s breakup. No one’s ever asked him about it before. It opened up a pit in him, made him cross all his barriers and finally let his feelings take over. It’s mainly on you that he managed to apologize to everyone and realize what he lost. 

And ever since that night, he found himself not wanting to let you go.

Nervously kicking his knee up and down, he feels the contact of your hand on his thigh, trying to calm him down. Looking at you from above, he tries to fake a smile as you squeeze his flesh and intertwine your fingers with his, shaking your hands in enthusiasm. Leaning closer to him, you whisper encouraging words into his ear.

“You’re gonna rock it, Jeno.”

Snickering, he shakes his head. “It’s an acoustic set, Y/N. I can’t rock it.”

Rolling your eyes in mock annoyance, you shake your head. “You know what I meant. So stop stressing, you’re a professional.”

It’s been months since Jeno last sang on the stage. His band was no longer in service, but all of his friends and bandmates still encouraged him to join the university’s recital– he was a good musician with a good voice, and his songs had more depth this time around. He almost gets emotional at the growth he’s made, but there’s no time for that when he notices the person in front of him being done with their song, meaning that it’s now his time to shine.

Seconds before he stands up from his place and takes his acoustic guitar with him, you reach over to his hair and ruffle it with admiration. The blush that forms on Jeno’s face is hardly noticeable from the bright lights of the stage, but it still makes Yangyang and Renjun snicker from their seats– they know this state all too well.

Lee Jeno doesn’t realize that now, this is you trying. 

No one’s ever tried so subtly for him before.

“So, which one do you wanna watch?” you ask as you stumble around his messy room, getting his laptop and laying next to him on the bed. You’ve been trying to make him watch your favorite movies with you for the last half an hour, and when you finally succeeded after giving him countless options, he insisted that he’s too lazy to get the laptop himself.

Sometimes, he’s a pain in the ass. But more than often, you don’t find yourself caring.

“Hm?” you poke his side as you turn on the computer and type in his password (that you helped him out with when he first got his new laptop. He didn’t know what to set it as and you told him to make it your name as a joke. He hasn’t changed it since.), waiting for him to reply. 

“I dunno,” he shrugs, “what do you want to watch the most?”

“I asked you first! I’ve seen most of them already, so I don’t really care much,” you mutter, opening Netflix and turning to him when the pincode comes up, raising your brows up.

“0423,” he mumbles before continuing, “why do you even want to watch movies that you’ve already seen? Isn’t that boring to you?” 

“Your pin code is your birthday? That’s… so unsafe,” you mutter as you type it in, shaking your head at your friend’s antics, “and I like watching movies I’ve already seen, because it gives me a new perspective. And also, I like watching your reactions when you watch movies. Your face lights up and stuff, it’s adorable.”

Jeno feels his cheeks getting red again, but he tries to hide it by pulling up the hood of his hoodie, shifting a little in the bed to leave you more space. “Which one have you watched the most times?” he asks.

“Hmm… probably Dirty Dancing,” you muse, grinning, “I’ve seen it like 15 times already.”

“Can we watch that one?” he mumbles, seeing your fingers dancing along the keyboard already, typing the movie title in and searching through the page to find it.

“Why?”

“I dunno… ‘cause it’s obviously your favorite?” he says, not realizing the implication his words have, only stating what he truly means. When you silently click on the movie and let it play, laying next to your friend and putting the laptop onto his lap so you can cuddle into his side, he wonders if this is what all friends do on cold afternoons.

He wonders if there’s something more in the way you wrap your arms around him, if there’s something more in the way you look at him from time to time when your favorite scene of the movie occurs or when you hum the soundtrack under your breath, trying to make him join you just so you could hear his voice. He might have a lot of experience with girls, but when it comes to relationships, he’s utterly clueless.

And when he giggles at the scene with Baby’s sister singing, moving very sternly from side to side, hearing you replicating the scene into his ear almost word-to-word, he doesn’t regret choosing the most corny, romantic movie he’s ever heard of. He might even comply if you asked him to learn the choreography with you. He’s not opposed to anything.

When the movie comes to an end and the final credits roll, he feels a soft peck pressed to his jaw, keeping him from looking at you in fear of not seeing the admiration he so deeply desires to see in your eyes. 

He wonders if this was you trying.

“What’s the deal with you and Y/N?” Jaemin asks one day, silent enough to not make the rest of the friend group hear, but loud enough to land in Jeno’s ears and make him look at his friend with shock.

“Nothing…?” he replies, but already feels his cheeks heatening. He despises how his emotions always show in his face. He wants to be cool about everything, but it’s hard to look unbothered when every small thing about you makes his heart race and makes his brain turn into a fuzzy mess.

“Sure,” Jaemin grins with a knowing smile, making Jeno roll his eyes. Of course Jaemin noticed. He always notices first, it seems– the boy has a good nose for human emotion. Perhaps it’s his very well developed sense of empathy. Jeno wonders if he’s good at relationship advice as well, but since you and him aren’t dating, he figures it’s too early to ask.

“Nothing yet, I guess? I don’t know…” Jeno mumbles under his nose, sensing that he can trust Jaemin. The boy knowingly nudges him into his waist, making the older one (by 4 months only, but that’s still something) grunt in mock annoyance.

“Oh would you look at that, our local player finally let his heart soften for someone!” Jaemin exclaims, still paying enough attention to not being too loud, leaving you deep in conversation with Yangyang and Ryusol in the back of the group. 

“Stop,” Jeno rolls his eyes, but grins at the comment. 

“I love this for you, though. Ever since you’ve known her, you’re different. You’re nicer, you’re paying more attention to others, hell, you don’t even drink anymore. I think this is a good thing,” Jaemin says with an encouraging smile.

“Jaemin, stop talking like my therapist, please,” Jeno mutters, trying hard to compose his expression.

“I mean it, though! It’s… it’s nice to see you actually trying for someone, you know. I hope this works out for you two,” his words are sincere and sweet, leaving Jeno in hesitance. He’s never heard any of his friends encouraging him in a relationship with someone before. He’s never been this close to anyone before, his emotions were never this deep– all of his past encounters with girls were purely sexual, and he can’t even imagine how he could ever live like that.

But before he can open his mouth to reply to Jaemin, he feels your warm hand in his (he doesn’t even have to turn around to know it’s you. He’s not used to the feeling of your hand in his– he just purely senses your presence.), catching him off-guard with the feeling of falling he gets inside of his stomach, suffocating a little.

Looking around at you, seeing you smiling, a sentence of “What are you two gossiping about?” uttered out of your lips, Jeno finds himself content with the state he’s in right now.

It feels good to try for someone.

Noticing you shivering as you two sit in the cafeteria, Jeno finds himself feeling like a worried mum for the first time. Squinting at the open windows, as if he could be mad at inanimate objects for the state they can’t control, he curses in his mind at whoever decided it was a good idea to leave them open in the middle of November. 

“Are you cold?” he asks the obvious, seeing you look at him with wide eyes, reminding him of Bambi. A burst of admiration spreads on his insides, but when you reply, he can’t help but glare at you.

“No.”

“What do you mean, no? You keep shivering. You should’ve taken a hoodie with you, you know it gets cold out here,” he mutters, seeing you roll your eyes at him.

“I forgot,” you peep, “but that’s okay. I was stupid and now I have to bear the consequences,” you say, making the boy’s protective instincts kick in once again, finding himself automatically taking off his large hoodie and throwing it into your lap.

“Wear it,” he says.

“But you’re gonna get cold-”

“I can bear the cold. Wear it or else you’ll get sick again, your immune system is more unstable than my mental health. I don’t need you stuck at home with a fever for two weeks again, I’d get bored to death,” he says, trying to reason with you, while also simultaneously trying to make it seem more casual than it felt inside of him.

“Jeno-”

“Can you please just wear it?” he asks, seeing you finally back down, smiling as you put the hoodie on and tug the sleeves down to make the most adorable sweater paws, making the boy coo on the inside.

You look absolutely adorable in his eyes. He never really knew how it feels to see someone you adore in your clothes– while he’s lent his jackets to random girls in the bar countless of times before, it never really held any significance to him. But seeing you in his jacket, drowning in the fabric as he likes his own clothes a little oversized, he can’t help but feel his heart swell with the sight. You should borrow his clothes more often.

Maybe he could “accidentally” leave one at your place once. Maybe you’ll wear it if you find it there. He won’t know about it unless you tell him, but the thought is enough for the boy to go crazy about the imagination.

“You look good,” slips out of his lips, making him instantly curse at himself on the inside. This might just be the corniest situation of his whole entire life– and he’s sent you a playlist before. 

Looking at him from under your eyelashes, you almost look shy as you burrow your nose into the fabric of the hoodie, smiling at him. “Thanks.”

“You can… keep it if you’d like,” he hesitantly says, not knowing what’s gotten into him. If Jaemin was here, he’d scream and yell at him for being this awkward with you. He’s known you for quite a few months now– he should already be used to the way you make him feel by now.

You grin at him as you nod, looking away from his eyes and breaking the burning eye-contact. “Okay,” you say.

The table falls silent for a second, both of you too immersed into your own head to register the quietness, when you move in your place and reach towards your hair, dragging the scrunchie that was holding your hair up off your hair, letting your locks fall free on the gray fabric of Jeno’s hoodie. Running your hand through your hair to shake it off a little and give it volume, you turn to Jeno and take his hand into yours before sliding the light-pink scrunchie onto his hand, giggling at the contrast of it against his all-black outfit.

Jeno looks at you with furrowed brows. What’s this supposed to be? Why is your hair tie suddenly on his wrist? 

When your eyes lock for a split second, you must notice his confusion. “Keep it,” you say. 

And he will. He’s convinced he would keep anything you give him, even if he found no interest in the thing, or if he found the item to be the most unuseful thing in the whole world. It’s from you, so it’s important. 

He doesn’t know what the whole action means– he’s too clueless to understand the girl code. He doesn’t know that this was him marking you his, and you letting the world know he’s yours. The item exchange was solely a game of your hearts. A slight push forward to giving this whole thing a new title.

He doesn’t know that this was you trying. But he feels he’s too impatient to keep waiting for signs any longer.

When you first meet Lee Jeno, his exterior calls at you with hard chords that keep slowly burning out. 

You never really liked your job at the bar. It was too loud, you came in contact with too many men with high egos that thought they could make your day any better, and you also had nothing else to do than to observe people the whole night. Observing the guests of your bar was one of your favorite activities. Sometimes, you make up a whole story about them in your brain, puzzling the pieces together with a bit of fantasy; sometimes, they come to you and tell you all about their problems and why they chose to drink them away at the bar tonight. 

Jeno was no different. You knew about him– because realistically speaking, who didn’t? He had quite the reputation in the town, and you can’t say that the one he had amongst girls he slept with was a good one. You heard all about him from your coworkers– he’s a showstopper, a bad liar, drama starter, a player, fuckboy… you name it, he’s probably been called that name before. And you can’t say you didn’t believe those words, not when you saw him at the bar with that confident smirk of his every other night, but this one evening, when you actually came in contact with the boy, you thought they might have been lying about him just the slightest.

He came to you with a dark look on his face, ordering himself a drink. He seemed out of it– like most days, lately– and you suddenly thought about all the rumors that spread around the town when his band broke up, wondering if they were true and if he really was such a dick everyone made him out to be. His expression is remorseful, the look never leaving his face, and you suddenly catch yourself asking him if he’s okay, met with surprise in his eyes. 

You think you must be the first one to ever care about how he feels.

When you first meet Lee Jeno, his exterior calls at you with hard chords that keep slowly burning out. When you get to know him, the contrast between his inside and the act he puts out for everyone to see gets harsher and harsher.

You learn a lot about him over time. They said he was overly-confident when he was starting the band– you just think he was ambitious. They said he was a liar– you just thought he never really had the full picture. They said he was a player– you just thought he never really thought he was playing with anyone’s heart. They all said he would hurt you– you told them you don’t see that happening any time soon.

Nobody believed in him until he put himself back together. Nobody but you.

“I think I’m in love with you,” he whispers into the dark one night, his face illuminated by the show he put up on Netflix to just mumble in the background, when you’re too tired to go back to the campus and choose to stay over at his place, because you sleep better by his side anyway. His words don’t surprise you, if you really think about it– they just fall into place, filling you with a soft harmony, making you 100% content.

Turning your body to him, his expression is nervous and he keeps biting at his lower lip, the habit of pulling at his chapped skin making itself known again like in any situation like this. You don’t even realize there’s a smile spreading on your face, a soft one, to be exact– because that’s how everything with Jeno was so far.

“Can I kiss you?” you reply with a question, catching the boy off guard. Breathless, he nods, letting you completely in, breaking all the walls he’s spent ages building up around himself.

He’s had a lot of experience with girls and you’re sure as hell he’s kissed more than a couple of them in his life before, but when kissing you, he’s as nervous as the first time, a shy boy looking at you from under his eyelashes as you lean closer to him and nudge his nose with yours before connecting your lips together in what feels like a seal of something new.

When you first meet Lee Jeno, his exterior calls at you with hard chords that keep slowly burning out. When you first kiss him, he’s the softest entity.

There’s something unexplainable about the contrast of his dark hair, harsh jawline and the chains on his clothing with the unbearable softness of his kiss, the movement of his lips against yours almost hesitant to get more, afraid of going too far and messing up the moment. The humming of Netflix is no more than a background noise when you pull away from him for just a second, gasping for air and going for more, this time deeper, letting the boy know that he doesn’t have to fear you, that although you’re fragile, in his arms, you have no chance of breaking. His palm, adorned with cold silver on his fingers, comes in contact with your jaw, steading the movement. The touch burns you up, makes you yearn for more, but he still holds you like you’re the finest piece of porcelain, treasuring you so much more than anyone ever before, the drunkenness of being in love with someone completely changing his brain chemistry.

Pulling away from him once again, the state of him takes all air out of your lungs. In the white glow of the TV, Lee Jeno looks up at you with eyes an endless pool of serenity, all wide and glimmering, his lips swollen and parted, aching for more. His cheeks are a little tinted, his raven hair falling into his forehead a little disheveled, his strong features shining with a softened glow, inviting you in for more. You want to keep this image of him forever. 

“Thank you for giving me a chance,” he whispers again, into the dark, making the pit in your stomach deepen. He must have felt like everyone gave up on him– like there was no other script for him and he was left with nothing at all. You wonder if he truly thought he would never get a second chance again. You wonder if he really thought he messed it up this bad.

Something about his words makes you want to kiss him again. You lean into him, catching his cheeks into your palms– almost feeling like you’re holding your whole world– and see his eyes flutter close when your breathing fans over his lips, softly taking him in again. 

His hands are a little cold when he covers yours, still sitting at his face. “I’m in love with you,” you whisper against his lips, thinking to all the times you wanted to say it but couldn’t, knowing it’s too soon and he’s not ready for it yet. You took things at his pace– he’s never been in a serious relationship before, and you didn’t know if he was prepared to have one, prepared to get attached, prepared to let you stay, when all everyone ever did was leave him. You wonder if the trajectory of his life would have gone differently if his father was still present– even though it’s still only an explanation, not an excuse– but you think you’re perfectly content with watching him grow by your side.

When your lips grow tired of the kissing, you smile against each other’s lips, holding each other close. The vulnerability of it all breaks you into pieces and glues itself together in one swift moment, wanting to treasure this moment forever.

When you first meet Lee Jeno, his exterior calls at you with hard chords that keep slowly burning out. Now, rather than a piercing echo, Lee Jeno holds himself to you like a soft melody.

You’re the first person Lee Jeno ever tried for. But even now, that he’s so sure you’re his and you’re not leaving any time soon, he’s convinced that for you, he’ll always keep trying.

[angelicmark]

phases (m)

pairing: jeno x reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut

warnings: alcohol consumption, unprotected sex, oral, angry-sad sex, hair pulling

wc: 4.2k

summary: jeno swore he would wait for you. the same way you would wait for him through all of his phases. it’s a tug and push relationship. jeno drinks his nights away, and you study yours away. you hold onto whatever is left of jeno each night, and he hopes you’re still there the next morning. you love him, and he loves you. it’s a never ending cycle of phases.

➣ apart of ‘right lover, wrong time’ series

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“careful,” you hold your boyfriend up, his his digging into your side in almost an uncomfortable way. you sigh, walking him towards the couch and make sure he doesn’t trip over the sofa or carpet this time.

“‘m fine,” he slurs his words and you can smell the alcohol on his breath as he heaves out a breath when he finally makes it on the couch. you stare at him with a blank expression, but in reality you can feel the tears welling and the push in your heart. it feels like a million bricks had landed on you.

you only turn around and turn on the ceiling fan, knowing he likes white noise when he calms down. you remember everything about him, especially the times before he would waste away his nights drinking. you only wondered if he remembered the same things about you before you replaced your void with studying.

you can hear his breathing from across the room when you grab a glass of water for him out of the mini fridge. your eyes glance over him and he looks like he’s about to pass out. “no you don’t.”

you slowly lift his hand and place the glass in his hand, he hums, “thanks.” he chugs down the water, almost like he hasn’t drank a drop in years.

routine. this was routine for you.

you thought your paths crossed at the right time two years ago, but maybe you were wrong.

maybe you were so, so wrong.

he looks at you with glossy eyes when you make eye contact again, and you can feel his gaze slipping. you can feel his heart aching in the same way yours does. you can feel the heat of his hand when he hands you the glass back as you place it on the coffee table in front of you. his body was warm, you knew it was from the way his cheeks were flushed and the way he uncomfortably moved around.

“here, let me help.” you cringe past the words and the lump in your throat. you can tell jeno wants to reject, but the fuzz in his brain is too hard to control. he drank too much tonight.

you help him with his clothes so he can cool down, helping him sober up more before heading to bed together. laying next to him never feels the same. he doesn’t hold you when he sleeps anymore, rather facing the bedside table as you face the wall. it was painful. being with him was so painful. so you studied your nights away, hoping one day this phase would end.

you reminisce, unable to sleep well that night. you stare at the wall, your check aching but the tears suppressing themselves. nothing could make this type of pain fade. you wished you could just… leave. why can’t you leave? why is it so important to you that you take care of him? why do you have to care so much for him?

you fell in love with a version of him that no longer existed, and that’s what hurt the most.

you were hoping, just hoping, one day you would get the man you fell in love with back.

“just a phase,” you whisper to yourself quietly as you hear a light snore beside you. “just a phase.”

your back hurts. the seat in this old chair wasn’t helping and the way your eyes slightly crossed out of exhaustion was starting to get to you. you tapped your pencil on your desk in your room, chewing on the bottom of your lip as you tried to focus.

focus on anything but him.

you sigh, dropping your pencil in the crease of your notebook and place your head in your hands. exhausted doesn’t even come close to how you feel. you tap your foot, feeling the anxiety starting to creep up your stomach and make your head even more fuzzy than it was before. you look out the window, your chin resting in your hand. it was late. too late.

you hear the door open, and you jolt in surprise, looking at the doorway of your room. “i didn’t hear you come in.”

jeno sighs, laying down on your bed, “sorry.” his words are slurred again. it sounds unapologetic, just tired. you can feel the anger bubble in your chest, but you supress it. it’ll be worth it all in the end, right? when this is all over? when he’s back to who he used to be?

“can i..” jeno gulps, “can i have a…kiss?”

the tension in the air is thick. you’re unsure when the last time the two of you kissed was. you licked your lips, staring at him. you wanted to, hell you wanted to. but something in your mind told you not to. you didn’t want a drunk kiss. you wanted something real, something meaningful. not a half concious kiss that probably meant nothing. you cherished his kisses now. they were rare when they were sober nowadays.

“no,” you state. you get up from your seat, helping him take his clothes off again as usual, leaving him in boxers. he sighs, probably expecting that answer in the first place. he knows in the back of his mind it was rude asking. he knew the answer, he knew the consequence. but he still tried anyway. why did he still try?

jeno gets under the covers, watching as you grab a bottle of water off the desk and hand it to him. he wonders why you still take care of him. he’ll always wonder. it almost made him tear up at the thought. he chugs the water down just for you, as always. he waits to sober up a little more before laying down completely. this was how it always went, and he was starting to slowly regret all of his decisions up to this point.

you drowned yourself in work and studying, he didn’t feel like he fit in your life the way he was supposed to anymore. once you graduate, will you have any time at all for him? maybe he’s selfish, but he wants you back. he hates getting drunk to drown out his feelings. and you hate studying to drown out your own.

the both of you don’t speak up.

drowning in all of the possibilities if just one of you did, just once.

“i love you, y/n.”

it made your heart twist. you can’t remember the last time you’ve heard him say he loves you. you can’t remember the last time you’ve heard something come out of his mouth that wasn’t slurred. it felt unreal. you closed your eyes, water starting to seep out. was this love, though? is this what love was supposed to be?

you just hush him, watch him relax into a slumber, and lay down next to him that night. you couldn’t find it in yourself to say it back. you weren’t sure if he meant it or not anymore, and that was the scariest part.

the unknown of your own relationship had to be the scariest part.

your energy was slowly draining. you could feel parts of you start to hollow more than before, especially your heart. waking up everyday was serving to be a task, the same way it felt when you took care of jeno every night when he came home. you check the clock, awaiting his presence again.

when you hear the door click open, your body become cold again. the feeling of dread washes over you as you remind yourself this has to just be some kind of phase. this isn’t permanent, right?

“i’m sober.” his voice was gruff, but he didn’t slur. and he didn’t smell of alcohol. you close your books and rush towards him, inspecting him as he patiently waited for you to finish being so surprised. he hated this. he hated that you had to make sure he was actually sober. he hated that he knew he was hurting you. but you hurt him first, as he likes to think.

you became so self absorbed in your work that he felt like he had no other choice. he had to distract himself from the pain of no longer having you by his side like he used to. he had to drink away to sorrow he felt every time you snapped at him and hushed him to be quiet so you could study. he was a burden on your shoulders, but he could never find it in himself to leave you. so, he gets drunk. he drinks his nights away and comes back home to you, enjoying the small moment he gets where you take care of him. he knows it’s not your fault. he knows you’re driven towards your future. he wants to be there for you, but he has no idea how.

he’ll take any attention from you that he can get at this point. getting drunk seems to be the only way how right now.

“you are.” your expression is blank, and you feel confused as to why he didn’t drink that night. where was he? why didn’t he drink?

“yeah.” he breathes, and all you can smell is mint from the gum he was chewing. it smelt different to all the other nights, and you try to bask in it for as long as you can. you’re not sure when the next time you’ll see him sober will be.

“i’m surprised,” you hum. you want to be neutral. but the aching in your chest just doesn’t seem to fade the longer you look at him. you wondered if he was going to finally end everything the two of you worked so hard for all these years. you wondered if this was finally it. if that was why he was finally sober.

“can i kiss you now?”

the question lingers in the air, and a strong part of you desperately wants to resist, but you can’t. you’re not sure when the next time you’ll be able to kiss him sober will be. you wanted to be selfish on your end for once. you wanted to taste his soft lips again. fuck, how you missed him.

grabbing him softly by the back of the neck, you kiss him. and it’s soft, no aggression, no hate, no power behind the kiss. it’s nothing but pure bliss. the world only consisted of you and him. you were starting to remember why you stayed with him so long. you were starting to remember the him you fell in love with.

you could feel tears falling down your cheeks the longer you kissed, and he quickly grabbed your face to wipe away the tears that had fallen. it was sweet, gentle, soft.

it was your boyfriend.

it was the man you fell in love with. even just for the night.

jeno’s been sober for almost a week now. you’re not sure why or what prompted him to be sober. you try your best to make time for him, despite still trying to juggle college exams. you can feel fall coming closer and closer, almost thanksgiving break.

jeno come behind you in the kitchen as you grab a bottle of water, taking a break from studying. you smile to yourself, unable to hide it. you desperately wanted to resist his touch and his advancements, but you couldn’t seem to stop yourself from turning around and giving him a gentle kiss on the lips.

it’s been this way since he’s been sober. you’re afraid of him going back to the way he was. you’re afraid that maybe you’re making all of this up in your head, that this isn’t actually real.

you’re afraid of coming to the realization that this isn’t the jeno you fell in love with either.

the thought makes your heart ache, your whole body threatening to collapse right in front of him. this wasn’t the jeno you fell in love with either. you stare into his dark eyes, and realize that apart of him is still missing. you want to know what it is. you wish you just knew. why can’t things be like a fairytale?

you thought you had gotten him back, but the hollow look in his eyes say otherwise. it was painful. it was hard to comprehend that maybe you were living in a fantasy world, even just for these few days.

you pull away from him, tears threatening to fall, “you’re not you anymore.”

the words hang in the air. it feels tense, and jeno doesn’t deny a single word.

you nod, walking back to your room and sitting at your desk. the work in front of you awaits your company.

you don’t want to believe it. you don’t want to believe what you were seeing. the pain in your chest worsens as you see jeno walk in your room with a bottle of straight vodka. it pains you worse than you thought, even if you were preparing for this day to come again.

you sigh, tears falling from your cheeks before you can even begin to speak, “jeno, i’m so..” you pause, the air getting trapped in your lungs, “I’m done. i’m so tired, jeno.”

jeno doesn’t want to believe what he was hearing at this moment. he wants to believe that you were just physically tired and wanted to go to bed for the night. but he knew, deep down. that wasn’t the case.

“i can’t keep doing this anymore, jeno. i’ve worked so hard to try and give us the life and future we want, but honestly, i don’t think there’s any going back to who we were after this. i really don’t think-”

he kisses you. it’s aggressive and full of passion and before you know it, you’re on your back on your bed, panting as he has your legs spread wide open for him. he looks up at you as he laps at your clit, arms and hands wrapped around your thighs to pull you closer to his mouth as he inserts his tongue, before sucking at your clit with vigor. he can taste your sweet cum as you scream out his name, tugging on his hair and sending shivers down his spine.

“turn around,” he demands, and soon you’re on your hands and knees. you lean down, but he tuts, “i didn’t say you could lean down.” he grabs your hair, pulling you back up on your hands and making you arch your back for him.

when he slides in his cock, it’s like the first time. “so tight and wet, just for me.” he licks his lips, making you moan at the gruff sound of his voice.

immediately, he starts to pound into you, making you scream out his name and clutch the sheets below you. jeno wasn’t someone to really express his emotions all that much, this was the only way he knew how to let out his frustrations. he knew that if he let you continue talking, it wouldn’t have ended the way he wanted it to. he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t prepared.

so he fucks you into oblivion, hitting your sweet spot with each thrust. it feels so good that he has you moaning and whining out his name. “gonna cum for me already?” he watches as you nod your head with vigor, “then do it. cum on my cock. cum all over me, baby.”

that’s the only signal you needed to finally cum on his cock, your sweet walls hugging his dick so tightly that he came along with you, filling you up.

he doesn’t want this to end. he doesn’t want to face reality as he slowly lets go of your hair as you plop down onto the bed in exhaustion. he enjoys the quiet for right now. normally he hates the quiet, but if it means you won’t hurt him with your sharp words, he’ll enjoy it. he’ll worship the quiet if it means you don’t break up with him.

“please,” jeno pants, laying beside you, “please wait for me.”

jeno will always wait for you, as long as you wait for him. it’s not easy giving up an addiction. but it’s even harder giving up you.

you don’t say anything, just lay there until you finally fall asleep. he wants to hold you, but he’s not sure if he has the privilege to. he wants to love you the way he used to. he wants things to go back to the way they were. he wants to be able to come home to you sober and feel whole again. he so desperately wants to be your person.

he watches you fall asleep, your breathing even and shallow. he enjoys the soft breaths you let out, admiring you quietly.

“i love you,” jeno whispers into the night, “wait for me, i’ll always wait for you.”

you huff, the air getting colder and colder. it’s finally thanksgiving break and both you and jeno are awkwardly sitting together for dinner. it’s nothing like the way it used to be, and it’s starting to just prove to be more and more painful.

“jeno-“

“no, don’t.” jeno interrupts. he knows what you’re thinking and he knows what you’re going to say. for once, jeno isn’t drunk again and he’s trying his hardest. he’s hoping this break brings the two of you together, but it’s really deeming impossible right now.

it was the most awkward, painful, hollow dinner of your life. “i don’t think this is working, jeno.” your throat closes up on you, and you don’t want to believe what you’re saying either. “i think-“

“no! fuck… no, please.” jeno places his head in his hands, “i’m trying, okay. i’m trying really hard to keep this relationship together and i’m trying-”

“don’t you think i know that? don’t you think i’m trying too?” you narrow your eyes and jeno looks up at you with the same expression.

“by studying? oh yeah, you’re trying real fucking hard.” he huffs, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair like a child.

“and you’re helping by drinking all the fucking time? i do this for our future, for-“

“for us. yeah, i know.” he rolls his eyes, “has it ever crossed your mind that i fucking miss you? that i miss the person you used to be before you absorbed yourself in studying?”

“has it ever occurred to you that i miss the person you were before you started drinking?!” your voice raises and you lean up out of your seat, “look, i’m not innocent. i’m nowhere near innocent. but drinking your life away isn’t going to help our future. i’m studying really fucking hard so we can have the life we always dreamed of. but i guess we can’t have that. not anymore at least.”

you want to cry. but no tears come out and all you can feel is anger bubbling in your chest as you stare at your lover sitting in his seat. he licks his lips, wanting to deny what you were saying. but he can’t. he knows apart of you is right. he knows he shouldn’t have just resorted to drinking in the first place. he should have expressed how he felt, but he didn’t. he trapped it all up, and so did you.

you huff, sitting back down in your seat and closing your eyes. “things will never, ever be the same, jeno. i’m not sure how much longer i can wait for you.”

it breaks his heart to hear you say that. he feels like a cold bucket of water washed over him.

was this really starting to be it?

was this finally over?

nothing was the same. you stopped taking care of him like you used to, and he stopped sleeping in the same bed as you. he slept on the couch most nights now, and you cried yourself to sleep most nights now. you could feel jeno slipping from your grip day by day, and it was becoming more and more heartbreaking.

you truly thought he was the one for you.

whenever one of you cross paths, it’s like being punched in the stomach. your nerves heighten and you feel more and more sad the longer you look at him. all you can think about is what he was like before he started drinking and before you smothered yourself in your studies. how did the two of you become so distant?

when thanksgiving break was over, it almost felt like the two of you were over as well.

it was like living with a stranger. 

he wasn’t the person you fell in love with, and neither were you. you reminisce the ghost of him day by day, despite still living with him. you wished things weren’t so complicated and you wished things had a way of working out for the two of you, but you were starting to lose hope.

“is this really worth it?” you ask him, and he stands there, swallowing down before answering cluelessly.

“what is?”

you huff, rolling your eyes, “you know what i’m talking about.” you walk closer to him, “this relationship, jeno. i think both of us have waited long enough.”

he didn’t want to admit you were right. he didn’t want this to end the way it was about to, and he didn’t want you to think the whole relationship was just a waste. he desperately wanted to prove himself, but what was there left to do?

jeno reminisces in the first time meeting you.

“this is stupid, jae.” jeno huffs out a long sigh, the cold air of October becoming apparent.

jaemin smiles softly, “she’s my best friend, jeno. and she’s not that bad looking either.”

“i don’t care how she looks idiot, and i don’t care to meet her either.” jeno waits patiently, and when you finally arrive into the coffee shop, his eyes glow. well, that’s how he would describe it at least. he could literally feel his whole entire body start to warm up at the sight of you.

you were gorgeous to him. in so many different ways, you were just perfect. jeno felt slightly annoyed that jaemin was right for the first time.

“y/n!” jaemin smiles brightly at you, and the smile you give him lights up the whole room. it sounds really cliché in his head, but goddamn it you were absolutely beautiful.

“i’m jeno.” jeno blurts out randomly. your focus goes from jaemin to him, and he feels even warmer inside. the smile on your face brightens and he feels like his breath was taken away.

“y/n.” you hold out your hand, and it was soft compared to his.

jeno can’t even begin to describe the feelings he got the first time he met you. it was like discovering gold. he only hoped to see you more and more after meeting you.

“i wish i could fix this.” jeno says softly.

the first time kissing you.

it was warm, summer finally beginning to cool down at night and making the both of you grateful for it. you look over at jeno, sitting in the sand of the beach.

“it was nice of you and jaemin to pay, i’m sorry i couldn’t really contribute to much.” your voice became softer and softer. jeno was hypnotized.

“of course,” jeno smiles, “this is for you. it’s your celebration on getting into your dream college.”

you smile to yourself, and jeno only wants to kiss you more and more.

“y/n..” jeno says quietly.

the sound of the ocean soothes you, “yes?”

when you look over at him again, you feel lips on yours. your body reacts immediately. your lips are warm and soft, tasting of the coconut chapstick you typically put on. jeno can’t help but react to the way your hand wraps in his hair and the way your fingers tangle themselves in it. he shivers, deepening the kiss.

everything was perfect. the sound of the ocean, the way you kissed him back. jeno wouldn’t trade this for anything else.

not a single thing.

“me too.” you say.

jeno swallows down tears as his eyes start to blur, “i love you. i always will.”

your sorrowful look breaks him apart, “i love you too. always..”

silence. everything turns to silence and it creates a headache in jeno’s head. this was it, wasn’t it?

there was no fixing a broken relationship.

it’s quiet. way too quiet as the clock hits one in the morning. you stare at walls and realize just how real your situation really is.

jeno has finally stopped coming by your apartment.

it’s been a full week since he left without much of a word, and neither of you have spoken a single word to one another. this was the most painful feeling in the world. you couldn’t even bring yourself to study anymore, just laying around doing absolutely nothing.

your life fell into a sad routine. eating was a task, sleeping was difficult, staying awake was miserable.

you wondered when things began to fall apart. was it before you even knew it? was it always too late? was it never the right time to begin with?

you’ll forever have questions. left unanswered.

that’s how it ends.

that’s how the phases finally end.

a/n: extremely short, but this is how i’m deciding to come back.

taglist: @peachjaem00​ @jenosbliss​

[lucyandthepen]

a lesson on style - vi . [ ljn | njm ]

pt. i, pt. ii, pt. iii, pt. iv., pt. v, pt. vi

you’ve always been content with being associated with one word and one word only: average. average in looks, academics and social skills, you’re just looking to graduate high school without causing disasters you’ll have to live with until you kick the bucket. when you’re paired with school king lee jeno for the semester-long physics thesis, you can’t help but think the entire situation has pretty much set itself up for failure. that is, until you strike a deal with your partner. 

alternatively: an au tale involving lessons in popularity, eleven consecutive B­ minuses, a secretly sensitive, chess­-loving jock, and an amateur sex tape.

pairing: jeno x fem!reader, jaemin x fem!reader verse: high school au { jocks!nomin ft. a super cute whiny ap physics genius renjun } rating: M chapter warnings: none word count: 8.1k

author’s note: this was actually supposed to go on for a lot longer but... it might've reached a solid 13-15k and i just thought it would be better to split it into half-ish, so nothing major happens, although i definitely enjoyed yet another mc/jaemin real talk session that i also hope you enjoy! :^)

tagging: @justalildumpling, @spiderrenjunfics (no longer available, please give me your new url if you're still interested!)

You think now is as good a time as any for you to say something that’ll easily impact the trajectory of your life forever; after all, Jeno’s essentially given you the floor after such a strange and honestly shocking turn of events. You’re aware of the fact that his thumb is still traveling across your cheek, more idle as an action than anything else, but you seem to be experiencing the feeling as something closer to an out-of-body experience than an actual first-hand one; the tingles they send to your heart are weird and blurry, like your body can’t process his touch well enough to understand it fully. You suppose it’s because of your confusion at what he’s saying, which leads to your second option: asking him what he means. 

There’s little to interpret at face value, but what his words do is essentially unlock a torrent of other weird questions in your head. For instance: how long had he known that you liked him? Had he known this entire time? Did something you did make it painfully obvious? If he wants you to like him — and, as he says, only him — does that mean he’s essentially accepting your feelings? Does this mean… he likes you back? 

You assume this is one of those moments where, because your mind is going a million miles a minute, a lot of time feels like it’s passed even though it’s just been a small handful of seconds. This assumption is quickly broken by Jeno’s expression of concern. 

“_______________? Say… something.”

“Um,” you start before you can even figure out what you want to say. The easiest answer comes to mind: It’s always only been you. But that’s weird, and this isn’t a 90’s Western movie, and if it were, you certainly wouldn’t be the eloquent main romance interest, even if Jeno’s gaze could easily fool you into thinking that. You think about making a joke, but you’re befuddled and also fresh from tears that — if Jeno’s abrupt story is actually true — were totally useless and unfounded in nature. 

Also, you’re really not that funny to begin with.  

“I just…” you try again, and his eyebrows raise slightly in anticipation for your next words. Nothing else comes out after a few seconds, though, and he realizes this is just another false start, his hand falling onto your shoulder (maybe he’s tired of trying to coax it out of you with the thumb-on-cheek method, which admittedly had you clamping up more than anything else). 

“You can just tell me how you really f—”

“I think I have to go.” 

No. No. Why would you say that? The surprise on his face quickly morphs into something that looks almost crestfallen, an expression you’d never imagine seeing on bright, confident Lee Jeno, let alone ever be the cause of. His hand slips from your shoulder quickly, like he’s now worried touching you will electrocute him. 

“Oh. I’m sorry — I didn’t… mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m… I’m not.” You’re not, are you? “Maybe a little, but it isn’t really you —”

“Something I said, then—?”

“No, I…” Your fingernail digs into the pad of your thumb, with you trying to use the sting of the pain to jolt you out of this nervous, inarticulate state. “I just don’t think… I have anything of value to say right now.”

“What makes you think that?” 

“Because…” Grappling for words is like trying to break through the surface of water; you’re almost there, but somehow you’re still floundering, and that only seems to be making it much worse. “Because I never really thought about what I’d do… if you really found out I liked you.” 

When you say it, it suddenly makes sense. For some reason, you’d always lived your life shuttling between point A (liking Jeno quietly in the comfort of your own mind palace) and point Z (fantasizing about your life with him where you live in a quaint townhouse with a cute mailbox and three kids), but you’d never really given much thought to all the points in between, especially not one that contains a scenario in which he’d find out and seemingly be okay with it, which, based on the current conversation, somehow seems like a reasonable thing to assume about him. 

You’ve always wanted it — him knowing, him accepting it, maybe even him liking you back —  but it kind of felt like, deep down, you hadn’t really believed it would ever happen. 

And you were kind of content with that, because you wouldn’t ever really have to deal with the complications of it. Right now, you’re feeling unprepared and a little exposed, weirdly vulnerable to his gaze. It once again, for the hundredth time tonight, it seems, triggers some kind of flight instinct in you that has you looking anywhere but at him all of a sudden. 

“You can think about it… now,” he suggests carefully. Being put on the spot doesn’t really ever bring out the best in you — a fact that might be known to people who were actually paying attention to your failed impromptu speech about whale hunting in your sixth grade English class — so you just pretend that the silhouette of Jaemin’s front yard tree is supremely interesting to you all of a sudden, never mind the fact that it’s about a few inches from Jeno’s ear from your vantage point. You don’t really want to see his expression right now, especially if that means it’ll only fluster you back into speechlessness. 

“I don’t really know if I can,” you admit. From your peripheral vision, you see what seems like a flash of discomfort pass across Jeno’s face; you’re sure you just imagined it, considering you’ve never imagined cool, aloof, king of your heart Lee Jeno as exuding anything other than utmost confidence. Still, his next words do make you question that notion twice over. 

“Did I… misunderstand something? Is it that you don’t have feelings for me?” 

“No, I… you know. I… yeah, I do, but I just —”

“You’re seeing someone else?” 

“No,” you say more fiercely, and for a brief moment, you’re so appalled at the thought that your eyes flicker to his, which ends up being a terrible mistake because the confusion in his gaze is so profound that the guilt in you swells tenfold. 

“Because I thought… maybe the reason Renjun and you —”

“He’s — honest to God — he’s just my friend.” 

“And Jaemin is…?”

“My… next door neighbor?” You blink rapidly at the lights still coming from his house, wondering now what Jaemin has to do with all of this in the first place. For someone who seems like he would be extremely uninvolved in this general progress of events, he seems to crop up time and again, weirdly always around when you need someone. Maybe it’s a neighbor thing, or maybe he’s a little nosier than you thought. But thinking about another element in this situation is starting to give you a headache, and you’re way past the time you’re usually already in bed avoiding homework and watching shitty dating reality shows instead. “I don’t really understand what he has to do with this either. I just don’t think I’m prepared to have this conversation at all.”

“But you like me, don’t you?” 

It’s weird, actually, now that you think about it — why does he have to confirm the fact time and time again? It’s almost like he’s worried, although you can’t imagine why he would be. More than anything, you’d kind of assumed that he would find that information pretty repellent, but with the way he’s asking in earnest, it almost seems like he wants to keep the knowledge of that like a talisman. 

“I do,” you admit, mostly because it’s out in the open, but also partially because you’ve made the mistake of looking at him again, and you start wondering how he could even wonder when everyone seems to like him (you, perhaps, to a somewhat unhealthy degree). 

“More than them?” 

“I—” Your brow furrows, another wave of confusion washing over you. But his eyes are much too honest in their questioning, and you speak before anything else can come to mind. “More than anyone, Jeno.”

What looks oddly like relief settles on his face, and you notice only then that his shoulders have been tensed up because he seems to relax them all of a sudden. “Oh. Good. Great. So listen, now that we’re on the same page, I—”

Jeno’s interrupted by one of the guys in a university sweater calling out to him from across the two lawns, voice booming to a degree that sets off a few annoyed dogs in your area. Jeno raises a hand to signal him to wait, his mouth still open on whatever words he wanted to complete his sentence with, but the sounds he was trying to make quickly die into silence anyway, drowned out by a huge crash inside Jaemin’s house. 

You’re not entirely certain of what he wants to say — on the bright side, he could have been ramping up to a point that could easily make all your dreams from middle school to now a perfect reality, but he also could have been setting you up for some kind of grand, embarrassing failure — not by his design or by malice but just by the pointing out of the fact that you two lead different lives and things would likely never work out, anyway, but it’d be cool that you liked him in your own time, and he’d allow it as long as you didn’t get drool all over his notebook in class. 

Either way, you don’t think now, with a bunch of inebriated college people shouting profanities on Jaemin’s lawn and a gaggle of high school kids panicking about what sounds to be a broken table and a whole bunch of pizza on the floor, is the best time to be processing those things.

“I actually,” Jeno turns his gaze to you again, strangely alert, like you’d just whistled for a dog’s attention. You’ve never seen him like this, and it’s weird to think that, at this awkward moment, you can still find him painfully endearing. You have to shake yourself out of the grip of the already beckoning force that tells you to sigh dreamily about how adorable he is. “Think I should really be heading inside. Looks like they also need you for some kind of damage control, anyway.”

The same college kid calls for Jeno again, dragging out the vowels of his name kind of annoyingly. Jeno sighs, nodding slowly enough for you to know he’s caught on — this probably isn’t the right time to have such a weirdly heavy conversation.

“Yeah. I probably need to help clean up, anyway. No one’s going to want to do it, and Jaemin’s already chewed me out for bailing on mop duty a few times.”

“Why’d you bail?” 

“Just… got busy, personally.” He looks sheepish, and it doesn’t take a bunch of lightbulbs going off for you to cotton on as well. Now, you’re just wishing you hadn’t asked, so you didn’t ever have to imagine it. Still, what’s done is done. You have to focus on keeping the discomfort out of your face this time. “Um… that’s not important, though. Anyway —I’ll talk to you soon, okay, ________________? Like… maybe we can catch up at school? You know, talk about our thing — the project, I mean — and like… et cetera?”

“Yeah, for sure.” Your smile’s weak, and so is your joke, but you should at least try to hold up casual pretenses as much as he does, even though he’s obviously much better at it. “I’ll tell on you to Hwang if you don’t, you know.” 

His laugh is soft, but it at least sounds genuine; his smile still reaches his eyes, which already makes your heart feel a little lighter. But instead of trekking off immediately, he lingers, strangely, until his grin winnows down into just the ghost of a smile on his lips. Even weirder are his hands, slightly outstretched towards your waist, like he’s trying to cross the gap between you (even if it’s admittedly very minimal) but suddenly decides not to. The result is him looking strangely stiff and uncharacteristically hesitant, but you chalk it up to him simply not knowing how to end such a weirdly situated conversation. You know you’d have an even worse time doing it if it were up to you, so you can’t really blame him. 

In the end, he closes the dialogue with ‘see you around, ________________,’ and a quick pat on the shoulder, which, if you think about it, seems a little disappointingly different from when he’d had his hand against your cheek a few minutes ago. Then again, you’re not sure you could handle something like that again, anyway. 

You watch him walk off back towards Jaemin’s house, and some pitiful, pathetic part of you is expecting him to look back, say one last goodbye to you, or something, but the university guy that had belted his name out so vigilantly just swings an arm around Jeno’s neck and drags him to a corner where a bunch of other similarly dressed people, to whom Jeno starts talking to almost immediately. 

Cutting this conversation short was probably for the best, anyway; you have no idea what he would have said, but you’re very sure you wouldn’t have been prepared for it either way. You trudge into your house and up into your room, already mentally prepared to spend the rest of the night obsessively mulling over what it all meant and what he had really been planning to say at the end. The process starts some time in the shower, while you’re shampooing your hair and you embarrassingly remember the feeling of Jeno’s hand tangled in it. The moony expression that the thought of it leaves on your face is present up until you see how stupid it looks in the fogged up bathroom mirror. 

Renjun still hasn’t texted you, which is honestly starting to be a source of mild anxiety because you can’t be sure if he’s dead in a ditch somewhere or just ignoring you for some unknown reason. Whatever it is, you leave like three messages wondering where he’s at and asking him to call you. You’re on your fourth message, which is asking to confirm about tomorrow’s movie (something you’d almost forgotten about save for the fact that you’d remembered this would be a point of argument for you both once again if you spaced on it) when a notification pops up that once again gives you a heart attack. 

Lee Jeno: u looked pretty tonight, btw :) 

You: oh!! thank you…!

You: you looked great tonight too…! :) 

Lee Jeno: haha… cute :) 

Lee Jeno: goodnight, ____________ :) 

This is the most emojis you’ve ever seen used in a single brief conversation, and you can’t help but feel like it might be a little juvenile, but it doesn’t even matter because Lee freaking Jeno called you pretty and cute in the span of five minutes. Your thumbs are shaking as you type back a typo-laden goodnight that takes you a full other minute just to edit before waiting a little more, but nothing else comes. Maybe he’s driving home, or something. You toss your phone onto your bed, away from easy reach, before you can start overthinking what this silence means again. 

Your reflection in your window mirrors the same scene you’d encountered in the bathroom: you, hair bundled up in a wet towel, bare-faced with a stupid grin across it. You’re so caught up in the act of reeling from Jeno’s three texts that you belatedly notice a square of light beyond your bedroom window. You almost duck out of sight when you see a shadow there, thinking about crying bloody murder, until you realize it’s Jaemin, who’s watching the ridiculous expression on your face with a curious gaze from a distance. He’s still in the same clothes he’d worn to the party, but you can see, even from this far away, that there’s this dark patch on it that looks suspiciously close to the way your shirt had on the day his coke had emptied itself out on your back. That must’ve been from the crash earlier, you deduce. 

You think he’s just zoning out facing in your direction, and you find there’s no need to meet his gaze, but there’s still something a little unsettling about having someone spacing out in your general direction, so you reach up to pull your blinds down. Your hand almost reaches the string, but Jaemin’s hand suddenly starts going up too, like it’s trying to follow you, and you freeze in your movements. His keeps going, though, up until it’s close to his face, and suddenly, he’s moving it side to side, in some weird regular pattern.

He’s waving, your tired, overworked brain tells you belatedly. The string of your blinds tickles the tip of your fingers. 

Unsure and a little self-conscious, you wave back, hoping he doesn’t notice that you were about two strong pulls away from drawing yourself out of sight. This is clearly the right response, because even from this distance, you can see the brilliant white of his teeth as he smiles, fully and unabashedly, at you. 

The first thing you do when you wake up the following morning is check your phone. You’re not even really sure what you’re looking for — maybe a text from Jeno, who, if you think about it now, probably has nothing to say in response to your boring ‘goodnight’ anyway (but you can still dream), or maybe a missed call or two from Renjun, who should at least be offering you some explanation as to why he was completely out of sight after parting ways with you and Mark Lee last night. 

Unfortunately, there’s nothing on your screen, apart from the stupid 번장 notification that tells you the pocket punch board you’ve been wanting for no good reason has been discounted by the seller to a price you still can’t reasonably afford anyway. 

You certainly can’t do anything about Jeno’s lack of contact, and to be completely honest with yourself, you’re not even really that sure if you want to. Something about yesterday’s conversation, while not exactly a train wreck, makes you very nervous to have a full conversation with him, and you’d much rather it stick to very basic, kindergarten-level things, like ‘you look cute’ and ‘haha’ and ‘:)’, but since that isn’t completely in your control, you decide you simply don’t want to do anything about it.

Renjun, however, is a completely different matter. You don’t understand why he’s ignoring you if he is, considering you had spent the better part of the night (at least, the parts during which you weren’t crying on your lawn) looking for him, so this silence, if deliberate, doesn’t seem fair or even reasonable. You decide that it’s much too early to be getting an earful from you in the end, so you just send a very emphatic ‘WRU?????????????????’ through both text message, KakaoTalk, and Facebook Messenger to him, hoping the repetition of both sentiment and punctuation mark through multiple platforms is enough to faux-yell to him what you’d otherwise be real-yelling to him over the line. You can’t tell if it gives you any sense of comfort to see he hasn’t been online and active for the last 15 hours. 

All the tossing and turning of last night, courtesy of the endless loop replay of “I want you to like me — just me” Lee Jeno edition, had consequently left you worse for wear; you’d gotten up at the rising of the sun (something you’d sworn never to do during the weekend) and had opted to just stay in bed for another hour, trying so hard to get over the feeling of his fingers against your skin that you end up committing it to long-term memory. The sunlight peeking through your blinds is what gets you to throw off your covers and admit defeat to the fact that sleep would never come back at this rate, and you decide to just head down, rubbing the lethargy out of your eyes before you make a poor man’s breakfast. You’re halfway through the jelly slice of your sandwich when your sister comes through the doorway, yawning loud to announce her presence. 

“G’morning, bedhead baby,” she greets, and you use the non-knife-holding hand you have free to rake through your hair. “Big rager last night, huh?” 

“Yeah — wait, how’d you know?” 

“We live a door down from Jaemin oppa’s house? Na Jaemin? Our next door neighbor and his whole family? We can see out the window into his lawn? Sometimes we get our sidewalk trash cans mixed up with theirs? Hello?” Sooyeon smirks, albeit a little sluggishly, as you wave her grating words away. “I saw you out there with him, you know.”

“With who? Where? Who?” You demand, your jelly-laden knife freezing in mid-air, the grape blobs slipping dangerously off the edge onto the middle of your bread.

“You. And Jaemin oppa,” she says each syllable slowly. “In front of our house.” 

“Oh.” 

“So usually how these conversations go is: I bring up a juicy piece of information pertaining to you, and because you experienced it first hand, you have to then expound on the piece of information, thereby making it juicier. ‘Oh’ doesn’t cut it. Not by a long shot.” 

“There’s not much to tell.” You wonder, briefly, if you’re now obligated to bring up the Jeno aspect of the night — which, for all intents and purposes, honestly felt like more of a big deal than anything else — but you quickly decide against it, chickening out when she approaches you at the counter and starts unscrewing the lid of the peanut butter jar. That might be giving too much away, considering she didn’t even seem to notice that you’d been bawling when you’d crossed the property line. “He just walked me back here.”

“Oh, yeah, because that’s what people who live next to each other in a not-so-close-knit community do: walk each other two steps home, to keep the baddies away.” 

“He’s just a naturally nice person, I think. Most people are, aren’t they?”

“I thought you guys were close. Didn’t he give you his varsity jacket? That sounds like a closeness thing.” She knots her index and middle finger together, and you slap it away. 

“We’re close only in the same way as you are.” When she gives you a quizzical look, you sigh. “Proximity-wise.” 

“Still doesn’t explain why he was out there, caressing your hair lovingly.”

You freeze, as opposed to Sooyeon’s comically relaxed posture as she scrapes the peanut butter across your other slice of bread. “He… was not. Caressing me. My hair. Lovingly.”

“I have eyes for the sake of seeing.”

“There was just something in it. In my hair. A leaf.” 

You’re not sure why you lie; the largest part of the reason is that you don’t want to have to go into the horrifyingly awkward details of your emotional state last night, but there’s something oddly nagging at you that you can’t quite place. It takes a minute of staring at your sister spreading the peanut butter evenly across the bread and humming to herself while closing the sandwich up that you realize that you don’t want her getting the wrong impression about anything.

Which is weird, because there’s nothing to misunderstand. 

Jaemin, albeit the fact that he’s been chattier to you as of late, more so than any other time in your life, is still just your neighbor. Maybe he’s graduated from being your sort-of acquaintance to something that vaguely resembles an arm-distance-ish friend, but the notion that you’re anything closer than that makes you feel a bit strange — almost like it… scares you, which is extra weird to think about, because there’s actually nothing inherently harmful about being casual buddies with some guy who lives close enough to wave at you from his window. 

Maybe it’s because it’s Jaemin, and that’s what might be tripping you up the most. He’s not just Jeno’s friend; he’s practically some kind of counterpart to him, and it feels weirdly like a line you can’t cross. Or maybe it’s because… Jeno had asked you about him last night, which had made you feel even stranger. Like he’d been worried about something — like Jaemin was a no-go zone for him, specifically. 

As you dully watch your sister take a bite off of your breakfast, it dawns on you: maybe you just don’t want people to think you like anyone other than Jeno. 

“Okay, well, you know better than I do,” she singsongs in a tone that tells you that you actually don’t. Sooyeon doesn’t press, but she also doesn’t make you feel like the conversation is over — even if she trills I’m going back up; thanks for the sandwich in that same voice before leaving you alone in the kitchen with half of it on the plate. 

Because the truth is that you don’t really know; you don’t know what’s so unsettling about being associated with Jaemin. Your sister’s not aware of the intricate ins and outs of your (delusional) relationship with Jeno, apart from your (apparently evident to everyone) crush on him, but you also know she’s not really deeply invested in where your heart lies; all she does is make conversation, as is her personality, as a form of bonding you’ve never really quite been able to navigate well. 

You just don’t get why the mention of Jaemin, now, makes you feel… something. What that is, you’d rather not dwell on. So you just won’t. 

You’re walking out of the kitchen, cheeks filled with peanut butter and jelly, when you see block letters on cloth, spelling out a familiar last name: Na. 

You still haven’t given back Jaemin’s stupid jacket. 

Today is the day, you decide. This seems to have started the whole conversation to begin with: the jacket that somehow brought Jaemin two steps closer into your life, the article of clothing that had opened the door to what shouldn’t even be a talking point between you and anyone else. 

This should be the proverbial swan song for this whole topic; you snatch up his jacket (and immediately regret doing so in such a brutish manner, noticing you’ve got a few specks of breadcrumbs on the lettering) and head out of your house, your bedroom slippers absorbing morning dew as you march yourself over to your neighbor’s. You should’ve done this earlier, really; there was no reason for you to hold on to it. 

Honestly, you’d just forgotten, given that you were more preoccupied with things that started with L and ended with ee Jeno, but you’d rather not extend any more misunderstandings. 

And even if Jeno isn’t here to see this grand closing gesture, maybe, just maybe, this will help you stop feeling so cagey about everything he’d asked last night. 

I want you to like me — just me. 

Because why would he even think you liked Jaemin at all? Or make it sound like he thought you did? Ridiculous. Unfounded. Kind of alarming. 

There’s noise in the air the closer you get to the Na household porch; it sounds a bit muffled, like it’s fighting the breeze, but you realize thereafter that it’s music coming from a tiny speaker sitting on the hand railing. It’s playing Dongbangshinki’s Here I Am, and something about that song stirs your stomach into swooping ten miles down as you approach. 

Your initial plan was to ring the doorbell and pray that Jaemin was still knocked out cold on a Saturday morning so you could pass the jacket off to one of his parents and be done with it, but you’ve no such luck; it seems like he’s an early riser, considering how he’s seated right there, on a wicker chair by his door, hunched over a half-played chess board. There’s no one across him to block his view of you coming up the steps, and he looks up the moment he hears the creaks of the wood under your feet. 

“Hey, ______________,” he doesn’t look surprised; in fact, he looks a bit relieved, for some inexplicable reason. “Didn’t think you’d be up so early.”

“Could say the same for you.” You have no idea what causes heat to flush across your cheeks; has Na Jaemin’s gaze always been this intense? “Um. Good morning?”

“Morning.” His laugh is an easy one; it always has been, and it kind of suits him, you note, before you realize how weird it is to think that. “What’ve you got there? Gift for me?” 

“Wha — oh, yeah, I mean — no, but it is for you.” You hold up his jacket, hooked on your forefinger, to reveal it to him. “Sorry it took so long to give it back.”

This time, he actually looks a bit taken aback. “Did you stop needing it?” 

“Um… I haven’t really used it, if I’m being honest.”

“Oh. Well, there wasn’t any rush. You could’ve kept it for as long as you needed. No pressure, or anything. I’ve got others.”

“You don’t need it at practice, or anything like that?”

“No; most guys don’t even keep theirs. They give them away, for… you know. So it’s no big deal.”

You fall silent; for some reason, his tone makes it seem like he wants you to keep it, which is just preposterous. You instead hang the jacket onto the back of the wicker chair opposite him and step back, like you’ve just set up a land mine you’re afraid of detonating. 

“Well, thank you all the same. I really… appreciate your help. That day. You know.” You’re not sure why you can’t form any sentences long enough to signify you do actually belong in the same year level as him, but he at least doesn’t comment on your ineloquence.

Instead, he just stares for a bit, at the jacket and your retreating hand, before piping up over his music. 

“You wanna play a round?” 

“What? Oh, I’m…” You wave your hands aimlessly. “I’m not good at chess. Actually, I barely know the rules. Plus, you seem kind of busy playing against… your imaginary friend?”

He chuckles again. “Just playing myself.”

“Trying to outfox the old fox?”

“Sometimes it helps to know how you’d get out of a sticky situation you made by your own doing. Helps you see what your opponent sees when it all boils down to it.” He gestures again at the chair across him. “Humor me a little. It’s not as fun just talking to yourself.”

You hesitate for a second; you came here to return the jacket, and that much was done easily, albeit a little more awkwardly than you ever wanted to. Jaemin’s aura is laid back and friendly, but you’re not sure why you’re teetering on the edge of panic again. Jeno’s words seem to be echoing in your head.

And Jaemin is…?

Jaemin is your next-door neighbor, it’s true, but you can’t say that’s really your only point of connection; if it were, he wouldn’t be expectantly waiting for you to take the seat across from him. And when you look at his hand now, idle against the chessboard, you can’t say you aren’t thinking of the way it patted your hair soothingly the night before. All that does is make you wonder the exact same thing Jeno asked you. 

What is Jaemin to you? A friend, perhaps, and definitely a nice person — nice enough to help you out, keep you company during a few low points. He’s a person willing to listen to you, funny enough to lift your spirits, and genial enough to not break your fingers for returning his things way too late (a low bar, but a good one nonetheless). Na Jaemin is a good individual, with pretty good music taste (based on the fact that his playlist, trudging on next to him, is now playing H.O.T.’s Happiness), and a good disposition about him that seems to make no small amount of people gravitate towards him. 

But you don’t really want to dwell on what Jaemin is to you; more than that, you can only really be reminded of what he isn’t. 

He isn’t Jeno. 

And Jeno knows you like him; he’s not only noticed it but confirmed it multiple times in a single conversation. Surely, then, nothing else should matter to him — or, for that matter, to you. 

You swallow down the refusal and nod, trying not to read into the fact that Jaemin’s face lights up when you pull the chair back and settle down on it. 

“So let me get this straight; you don’t know how to play chess?”

“I know a couple of pieces go in weird directions,” you admit. “That’s about it.” 

“Perfect.” His long fingers drum against the wood of the table. “I’m going to whip you into competitive chess-playing shape, my young pupil.” 

What starts off as a casual, humor-filled lesson on the roles of each chess piece suddenly becomes an actual lecture; you’re not sure if Jaemin is getting a kick out of instructing a rookie like you on the different plays — which are infinite, a fact he’s drilled into you several times — or if he’s really just enthusiastic about the game (no, sorry, sport, since he’s chastised you about three times on this terminology already), but whatever the reason is, you have chess pounded into your brain for the better part of an hour. By the time he asks you to actually start playing against him, the sun’s fully up in the air and you’ve had to tie your hair up to keep it from sticking to your neck. 

“I’m glad you got home safe last night,” he hums, pushing his black pawn to meet yours in the middle of the board. The Italian Game, he called it — not to be confused with serenading someone over pasta, a different kind of Italian game. That had gotten a long laugh out of you. Your hands flit over the white pieces, unsure of your memory. You only respond when you’ve moved your bishop to the same row. 

“Well, it was a very long and tumultuous journey, but I managed, with some help.” 

His knight comes out next, smoothly and quickly; you pause, rubbing the back of your neck. Surely, there was something else he’d taught you? 

“What a chivalrous, ah, knight, that person must’ve been.” He raps a knuckle onto the table, starting you out of the act of racking your brain. “Perfect joke. Well-timed. Excellent chess pun. I think I deserve an award.”

“Does whooping my ass two moves into the game count as a prize?”

“I don’t want to rob you of the feeling of hope this early in the match. Take your time,” he chuckles, leaning back against the throw cushion behind him. He fiddles with the speaker, and the songs skip one by one, until he lands on a song you don’t know — some Japanese track that sounds suspiciously like an animation opening. It’s lively and admittedly a bit loud, and Jaemin hums to the guitar riffs with surprising accuracy. “Anything interesting happen when I left?”

You freeze for a moment, your fingers still hovering over your own knight in hesitation. You know what he’s asking, and for some reason, you’re tempted to tell him — then you remember that it actually isn’t really his business, and you don’t want to embarrass yourself. 

“Not really.” You feign casual disinterest as you move your knight above your pawn line; from here on out, you have no clue what to do. Jaemin, on the other hand, is so sure-footed about his own skills (which are infinitely more advanced than yours) that he doesn’t even take his eyes off you to look at the board as he moves his next piece. You’re stuck thinking about what to do again — in the game, that is. Not about his gaze, which you try to avoid. “Just, you know. Talked with Jeno for a bit. Nothing major.”

Nothing major to him, you remind yourself. To you, your entire world had just been flipped over onto its belly.

Jaemin hums again, this time in understanding, but you notice (from your very surreptitious glances of him) that this time, it seems like he’s choosing what to do. You think it’s for the game, but when he counteracts your own (poorly planned) move with a swift response from his own pieces, you get the odd feeling he’s trying to choose his words carefully. 

“Was it a conversation where you all got along?”

You hadn’t argued, but you’d never really thought about the whole stint long enough to classify it as good or bad. You supposed it wasn’t anything horrible in the end, although the fact that it had robbed you of precious hours of sleep wasn’t exactly the best outcome. But Jaemin’s not watching your expression now; he’s intently looking at the board, even if he’s not the one about to make the next move. 

You get the feeling he’s suddenly avoiding eye contact too, which is weird, because he’s never been one to shy away from looking you straight in the eye. For some reason, that makes you feel like he doesn’t want to hear an answer. 

“It was fine. Nothing… bad happened.” You know that’s true, but somehow you feel like it’s still not truth. “He explained… stuff. Who she was. Why it happened. Totally understandable stuff, I think.” 

You choose not to mention anything apart from that — that he’d asked you to like him, nor that he’d asked you about your relationship with Jaemin. More than deciding it wasn’t going to be anything contributive to the conversation at hand, you also just didn’t want to. 

Jaemin stays silent for a while; he moves his piece, then taps his queen — for some reason, he’s letting you know something about his next move. What it is, you haven’t puzzled out; it’s not like you know which direction he’d be taking, and even if you did, you’d surely not know how to respond to it, anyway. You guess he’s just throwing you a bone, but why he would, you also just don’t see the reason for. 

You’re pushing your pawn hesitantly diagonal to capture one of his when he speaks up again. 

“Did he tell you how it ended? With the two of them, I mean.”

He says it so calmly, capturing your bishop with his queen in the process, that you feel like you’re just talking about the weather and who won yesterday’s league basketball match. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, clearing your throat, but you only actually manage to shake your head. 

“She cheated on him. Some college guy that she met during her orientation; you know she’s older than him, right? He’s never dated seriously since then. I think he was really hung up on her for a while — until recently, that is. I think. He hasn’t been that close to many girls.” 

“That’s… that’s awful.” You’re not sure why Jaemin’s telling you this; it honestly feels illegal to know. “I didn’t think… anyone would. Cheat on him, I mean.” 

“Even good-looking bastards like him can have rotten luck.” Jaemin’s smile borders on wry. “I don’t know why she showed up, honestly. Word probably got around… but she probably just wanted to know what would happen if she stirred something up with him one last time. He likely didn’t see it coming.” 

You stare at the board, unsure of what to say. It makes sense, but something doesn’t really sit right with you either — why Jeno would let her come close to him at all, let alone allow her to completely eliminate the distance between his mouth and hers for longer than a second. Even thinking about it makes you want to throw up all over again. 

“But deep down, I don’t know if Jeno completely got over her.” Jaemin continues, snapping you out of your short trance. “For a while after, they kept in touch. I think they even tried to work it out, but… obviously, it wasn’t easy. Until now… I’m not really sure.” 

“Why,” you swallow hard. “Why… are you… why should I…”

“It’s not easy to be a player when you don’t know much about the game, is it?” He’s still staring at the board, but you get the sense that he isn’t just talking about chess. “Like I said, Jeno’s a pretty complicated guy. It’s not really my place to say anything, but…” Jaemin’s eyes flit upward for a second, and he offers you a small, almost pitying smile. “I think you need to know anyway.” 

“But it has nothing to do with me. His life… I mean, his ex, and stuff.”

“I’m not too sure about that. If you like him that much… doesn’t that just mean you want to be part of his life?” He topples a pawn of yours, but you barely register the clattering noise or the fact that he drags it unceremoniously off the board. “I think you should at least know what you’re getting into. Jeno hasn’t liked someone seriously for a while, but you seem… to be the opposite. How much do you actually know about what he’s like?”

You don’t know why that kind of hurts your feelings; maybe it’s just because you have to face some kind of truth about how you don’t know much about Jeno’s private life, as badly as you want to. You even have to hear about it from someone else — someone easily kicking your ass in a dumb chess match. 

“I think everyone has baggage,” you say slowly, pushing your rook forward. You realize it’s trapped behind two different pawns, so you’ve essentially backed the piece into its own corner. Jaemin doesn’t seem to care; he’s too busy executing what clearly is a ten-stage strategic win on the other side of the board. You don’t really care.

“That’s true,” he concedes, toppling your knight. “But some more than others, I think.” 

“If he wanted me to know, he would’ve told me, right? Yesterday, I mean.”

“That’s may also be true, although I can’t say that with absolute certainty.” He looks thoughtful, and the pause gives you a bit of reprieve — enough to make a bad move that you instantly regret the moment you put your one remaining bishop on a square. Something like amusement flickers across Jaemin’s face, but he doesn’t make a move immediately. “Do you know what makes chess such a great game? In my opinion, anyway.” 

“No?” The uncertainty in your voice is from a lack of understanding at the sudden shift in topic. 

“Whenever you play someone, you get to see what they’re like — what their priorities are, you know?” His finger lands on a rook, inching it back and forth with idle intent. “You see how their mind works, what they’re like when they’re winning or losing, and what they think of you. Check, by the way.” 

You’re silent as his rook captures your bishop, and he picks your fallen piece up and sets it aside with his growing pile of white. 

“I’ve actually asked Jeno to play with me a few times, just for the fun of it. Sore loser,” he laughs lightly, one hand reaching out to lower the volume of his music. You notice the opening bars of Winner’s Really Really come through moments before it’s toned down. “Doesn’t really know or care about the rules, but he really likes to win. That’s kind of what makes him the star player on the team, actually. He really hates being backed into a corner, but all that focus on winning kind of tunnels his vision sometimes. Leaves him open to some attacks from another angle. He really hates that — which is probably why we barely play chess together in the first place. Apart from the fact that he thinks it’s boring.” 

You’re staring at your pieces, now very pitifully winnowed down in number, and you feel stuck. You’re not sure what to do, but you’re pretty sure any move is going to make you look dumb in front of Jaemin, who’s clearly a pro — so much so that he seems to know what you’re going to do before you even decide yourself. 

“You know what I like about your playing style, though?” He interrupts your train of thought again. You look up from the board, bemused; you’ve just been struggling to humor him since your first move, and it obviously isn’t working, since he seems more invested in the conversation than in the game. “You’re just trying your best, even if you’re new at this — even if you think you’re going to lose.” 

“I just don’t want you to think I’ve forgotten everything you just said,” you respond, smiling weakly. 

“You can’t always predict what’s going to happen in a game, even if you know the pattern anyway. Isn’t that just natural about anything in life?”

“You seem to know, though,” you grumble, tugging on your ponytail. You throw in the only option you have left: pushing your queen in front of your king as a last line of defense. “You’re barely paying attention to the board.”

“It’s just constant practice — a lot of hard work on my part. I don’t mind the grind of it, if it gets me somewhere good in the end.” 

“So is that the kind of player you are? Just… a hard worker?” 

“Maybe. I like to look at things from every possible angle. I guess that’s why I like chess when most people find it a headache.” He picks up his queen, rolling it in his palm. “Although, I guess Jeno and I have one thing in common — as players, that is.”

“What’s that?”

“I also really hate to lose.” 

His queen knocks over your own with a pitiful clatter, taking its place on the board. When he picks up your piece, instead of adding it to his knockout count, he offers it to you. You take it gingerly, opting to focus more on it than on the soft smile that’s now playing on Jaemin’s lips. 

“Checkmate,” he announces lightly. “Good game, _____________. You’ve got the makings of a star player.” 

“You’re patronizing me, aren’t you?” You sigh as the two of you start resetting the board; you have to watch Jaemin’s pieces get rearranged to position your own. 

“Only a little bit. I see a lot of quiet drive in you.” 

You place the last of your pawns in a neat row; the board looks like it hadn’t even been touched. “Jaemin, how did you and Jeno become this close? You seem… I don’t know.”

“Yeah, we’ve definitely got our unique quirks,” he chuckles softly. “But Jeno and I… we just go way back, I think. When you’re friends with someone from a young age, you tend to grow with them. He’s a good dude, really, even if our personalities are different, and it’s always a fun event so long as he’s around. Well — mostly. I’d say a good ninety-nine percent of the time.” 

You pointedly ignore the sheepish smile he throws your way. 

“You said before that you’re not the type to… you know, share your feelings, and all that. Then how do you… like what do you guys even talk about?”

“What do you and Renjun usually talk about?” Jaemin grins. “Anything and everything, really. Movies, games, why the jerk from Yongsan International gets on our nerves when he chews his gum. We just… have a tendency to be interested in the same things, no matter if our perspectives are different.” 

While talking to Jaemin is fun, you can’t help but feel like he has a tendency to speak in riddles. You still don’t really see any strong similarities in their approaches to their interests, similar as they may be, but what do you know, anyway? It isn’t like you and Renjun are exactly peas in a pod on paper.

His eyes lose focus for a second, hitting somewhere behind your ear before they quickly turn back to you. You have no idea why this makes you feel a little put on the spot. 

“Hey, you want to have brunch here? My mom makes a mean soybean paste stew.”

“Oh,” you press your hand against your stomach, wondering if the swooping feeling in it is from hunger or something unrelated. “No, I actually just ha—”

“_____________?” 

You swivel around in the chair, and your heart stops; you're not the least bit prepared to see Lee Jeno standing at the foot of Jaemin’s porch steps, a quizzical look very clearly etched on his sharp features.

[writtenbymkl]

jeno and that one live

genre: idol! jeno , comedy? 〜(＞＜)〜

featuring: jeno x reader

a/n: this live literally had me in tears bc the comments nd the tiktok videos were like “phew good luck man, you’ll be blowing up the toilet soon” LIKE ??? and then i commented on a tiktok saying “i usually eat 3-5 and i feel amazing after” to mean that like .. I FEEL FINE , and i dont blow up the bathroom but someone was like “oh i bet u do” LIKE MAN COME ON (ToT)

[enjennie]

[12:38 pm]

"So, who are you taking to the party this Friday?"

Your ears couldn't help but perk up at Jaemin's question directed at Jeno who sat between the two of you. The boy was in deep thought though, missing what his best friend had said completely before Jaemin started snapping his fingers in front of him to get his attention.

"Huh? Oh– Actually, I'm not really sure yet," Jeno snaps out of his trance and shrugs, relaxing against the chair. He peers over at what you're doing; math homework.

"We know it's just gonna be Y/N," Jaemin teases, getting back to his own textbook.

"What? Well, yeah. We always go to parties together," Jeno says nonchalantly.

At this point, you had already lost yourself in the equation and have to redo the whole thing. You cross everything off and flip to a new page. Maybe you were a little frustrated with how Jeno responded. But you had no right, not even a little bit.

Because you were best friends. And you have been since you were in diapers.

It sucked, because you also had the biggest crush on your supposed best friend, and everybody knew except him.

"What if I want to take her this time?" Jaemin asks, and you finally turn your head to the two boys.

"No, because–" Jeno starts.

"I think that would be nice. I'll see you at 8, Jaemin?" you interrupt Jeno. He looks at you in surprise as Jaemin grins widely.

"It's a date," the grinning boy winks.

"But Y/N, we always go together," pouts Jeno, but you don't spare him a second glance.

"Get a date, loser," you mutter.

Ask me out next time maybe, you thought. Seriously, you don't know how you maintained this crush for so long when he's never even probably thought of you in that light.

"But Y/N," Jeno surprises you when his hand lays on top of yours, dodging the pencil out of your grip and then giving your hand a squeeze. "You've always been my date to the parties,"

Date? More like pal. Dude, buddy, mate, sidekick.

"Hey! That's my date," Jaemin interferes dramatically, slapping Jeno's hand away from yours.

"And that's my best friend. Back off," Jeno growls, and for one moment you thought he was really mad. You don't care, though. Your heart was beating a thousand beats per second now and all the blood is rushing to your ears and face. This was Jeno's effect on you. Oh, your stupid heart.

"Sure it's not more than that?" Jaemin taunts, smirking.

Jeno pulls his hand back from yours and starts collecting his stuff. "Don't be stupid. That's Y/N, I'd never," He then walks out of the cafeteria without another word.

Just like that, your heart smashes to the floor and you go deaf, there's a ringing in your ear.

It's silent between you and Jaemin for a few minutes, the boy knowing he'd messed up and got you hurt. It wasn't his intention. But boy, his best friend was stupid. If only, he thought. If only you'd fallen for me instead. You wouldn't be bearing this pain right now.

"Sorry–" he starts quietly.

"Don't worry about it. You would know better than anyone, Jaemin. You're his best friend, after all. He'd never date me," you repeat Jeno's words before doing the same as him and taking your leave after gathering your things.

Jaemin watches you leave with wistful eyes, dejected and torn. He wanted you for himself, but he knew your heart wouldn't be as happy than if you were with his best friend.

If only you'd fallen for him instead.

hi! omg okay so i wrote this just to dip my feet a little in the water of writing again. also this may or may not be what i feel sometimes with jeno jdhfjsjd BOY i am falling for jaemin slowly but surely pls do something abt it /j. hope u liked it! see u :>

[blu-joons]

Sleepy Kisses ~ Lee Jeno

Your smile was wide as you slowly lowered yourself down after sliding your legs underneath the duvet, feeling an arm settle just underneath your head. You turned slightly to look at Jeno laying beside you as his arm wrapped around you and pulled you against his chest.

Your hand rested against his chest as you made yourself comfortable, feeling Jeno’s finger trace gently against your shoulder. As a small yawn escaped you, a chuckle came from Jeno as he kept his eyes watching you, easily able to tell just how tired you were as you rested for the night.

Jeno knew that you’d had a busy day, having rung him during your lunch break to vent about how stressed you were, he knew he needed to do something for you when you got home, deciding that a lazy night would be the best thing for you to help you out.

“Do you want to sleep now?”

Your head shook in reply to Jeno, keen to spend just a bit of time cuddled up to him first. As your head shook, he moved towards you and pressed several gentle kisses against the very top of your head, keeping each one soft.

“We can lay here like this all night long,” Jeno told you as a sigh of content came from you, relieved to be relaxed in Jeno’s arms, and more importantly, home, with him helping to clear your mind of the many troubles that were swirling around in it.

With your eyes staring forwards, across at the window where the curtains were drawn, Jeno continued to kiss over the top of your head. You’d lost count of how many kisses he planted until your head tilted up, with a wide smile on your face.

The moment he looked down and saw you looking back at him, Jeno leant further down to be able to peck against your lips several times too, knowing that he was distracting you as you focused on keeping your blush under control instead.

“What are you thinking about now?” Jeno asked you.

“You,” you smiled in response as he pulled away momentarily, “and how you always seem to know the way to cheer me up, how you get it right, every single time.”

“I just want to be able to help you,” Jeno told you as he replied, continuing to run his hand across the top of your shoulder, “I hate seeing you getting overworked, you don’t deserve it, you’re so strong and smart, but they just keep taking advantage of you.

Your head nodded in agreement with him, you couldn’t help but feel the same about how you were treated at work, constantly used by your colleagues.

“I wish I could get you out of there,” Jeno frowned, “there should be work at the company for you somewhere.”

“I can’t let you do that,” you responded, tapping your hand against his chest to let him know that you meant it.

Jeno knew that asking for help was something that you struggled with, you didn’t like to admit that you needed support, you liked to be tough and do it on your own, but on nights like tonight, you really did need Jeno to be there for you and help you to feel better.

And as ever, he was right there for you, supporting you and trying his best to make you feel better. Several more kisses were scattered all over the top of your head as soon as he felt that you were beginning to fret once again.

He kept his eye on you every time he pulled away from you, spotting each time that he looked down that you were getting sleepier and sleepier tucked up in his hold.

As his hand stopped moving, you looked up to Jeno in confusion. “What are you doing?” You frowned, missing the comfort that the patterns that he drew brought you.

Jeno quickly picked back up what he was doing again, noticing your smile drop as he met your eyes, frustrated that he had stopped wrapping himself tightly around you.

“I thought you were falling asleep,” he told you with a wide smile on his face.

“I’m not falling asleep just yet,” you assured him, positioning yourself back against his chest, “I want more of your kisses before I think about falling asleep anyway.”

“I think I can do that,” he joked in reply to you, tracing his lips through your hairline once again, having lost count of how many times he’d done it since the two of you laid down.

Each time you shuffled, Jeno found a new place to kiss, making sure that you were never left without one for too long. He had his eyes on you the entire time, knowing that the moment he caught you falling asleep, he’d let you rest.

“Has coming to bed early helped you feel better tonight?” Jeno asked you as he noticed your eyes staring forwards again, trying your best to get them to shut.

“You’re the thing that’s helped, and how incredibly caring you are towards me.”

“I’m just doing what any good boyfriend would do,” Jeno assured you, but your head shook, turning upwards to look at him once again, refusing to let him brush aside what he did for you.

Your eyes stayed on his as you spoke, “not many people would take care of their partners like you do, you’re always there for me, and I really adore that about you Jeno.”

A shy smile crept onto his face as you spoke, never really feeling as if he went out of his way to care for you. It was instinct in him, he simply loved being there for you and trying his best to see you smile again too.

“I know that you feel as if you’ve done nothing tonight bringing me up here and tucking me in nice and early, but it’s really comforting Jeno. Having you kiss me and hold me reminds me that I’m not alone, which is really what I need right now.”

“I’ll never let you be alone,” Jeno assured you, kissing against your forehead once again, “no matter how badly other people will make you feel as if you’re stranded.”

“You’re the best,” you smiled across at him, “I don’t even know what I’d do without you these days Jeno.”

“I reckon you’d be just fine; you don’t give yourself enough credit Y/N.”

Jeno was confident that you’d see it through, but he still enjoyed being the one that was there for you. He had promised himself when he started dating you that he’d stay by your side, and that was something that Jeno would never allow to change.

“Why don’t you try and close your eyes?” Jeno suggested, catching you letting go of a yawn as you turned away from Jeno to try and hide it.

“At last, I actually feel a little bit tired,” you weakly smiled, surprised yourself by how well Jeno’s plan had exhausted you. “I’ve been scared to sleep for a little while, but laying here with you right now is comforting me.”

“I’ll hold onto you all night long,” Jeno promised you, “we can lay for as long as you need, all through to the morning too. I’ll lay here and kiss the top of your head for as much as you need me too to help you out.”

“How will you sleep if you’re kissing me?”

“I’ll find a way to do it,” Jeno grinned, “I’ve got my ways to make things work.”

“I don’t doubt that you’ll find a way too.”

---

Masterlist

[mint-yooxgi]

Could I request a yan villain Jeno who only protects yn

"You have five seconds to answer me or a bullet is going straight through your skull."

Fear suffocates your heart as you sit, tied to a chair across from three familiar faces. One of which has a gun pointing at their head as tears stream down her face.

"I don't know-"

"Wrong."

The sound of a gunshot echoing throughout the room has a sob ripping from your throat. Blood splatters against your face as the two others across from you scream in horror. You can only sit there in shock, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you watch the man walk out from behind the chairs and stand in front of the remaining two survivors. Conveniently, he now stands in front of you.

"Why are you doing this?" Your voice comes out a mere whisper, terror lacing every word as you tremble in your seat.

Immediately, Jeno turns to look at you with that all too familiar smile. A smile in which stretches tightly across his face, staring at you with mock sympathy.

"Oh, Darling, I thought I told you," he hums, tilting his head ever so slightly. "Do you not remember the way they treated you growing up? How they terrorized you every day at school? How they made you scared to even so much as set foot outside your door?"

"We already told you that we're sorry!" The one in the centre chair cries, leaning forward as far as she can given the ropes tied around her figure. "We didn't mean for it to go this far!"

"You mean you didn't expect to receive consequences for your actions." Jeno corrects with an amused huff, turning back to her in the next second. "Well, it's time to pay up."

Again, he slowly creeps back around the three chairs until he's standing directly behind her. Carefully, he leans forward, watching in twisted amusement as her sobs become more violent the closer he gets to her. You close your eyes.

"Oh, no, Honey," Jeno tuts, his attention now turns to you as he places his hands onto the girl's shoulders, the gun now tucked into his back pocket. She flinches. "You get to watch as I fulfill every dark desire of yours, doing to them exactly what you've always wanted to do."

"I never meant for this to happen," you shake your head, wanting nothing more than to cover your ears with your hands, but you cannot. "I never wanted this."

"What are you-"

The girl's words die in her throat as Jeno wraps his arms around her neck. Slowly, he begins to squeeze tighter and tighter until you can see her gasping for air. Another minute and her eyes roll into the back of her head. You whole body begins to shake.

Finally, Jeno releases his grip on the girl's throat before slowly turning to the last person in the set of three.

"Of course, I've saved the best for last." Jeno chuckles, his eyes locking on the only other male in the room as he circles back in front. "I think I'm going to enjoy this far more than the other two."

The male meets his gaze with nothing but pure, agonizing fear reflected in his eyes. His screams are muffled through the rag stuffed in his mouth as tears leak out of the corners of his eyes.

A malicious smirk pulls at the corner of Jeno's lips as he watches the male struggle in his bonds. The fact that he's practically pleading for his life now is the icing on the cake.

"So, you thought playing with my beloved's heart was all fun and games, didn't you?" Jeno grins mockingly, once more tilting his head as he gets right up in the male's face. "Made them believe you were in love with them while you were only pretending to care about them for a prank. You never really appreciated them, did you? All that they did, all that they sacrificed?"

The male shakes his head vigorously, leaning as far back in the chair from Jeno as he can.

"All you ever did was take, take, take from them." Jeno tuts, shaking his head. "Well, I think it's time I returned the favour, no?"

Reaching into his front pocket, Jeno pulls out a switchblade, that all too familiar malicious smile painting his lips once more.

The last thing you see before Jeno blocks the male from view is him looking at the blade with wide eyes, tears falling freely down his cheeks. All you can hear are the males muffled screams which luckily seem to drown out the sound of his flesh being cut, and his blood dripping onto the floor.

A minute later, it all ends, and the deadly silence that surrounds you unnerves you more than the gruesome sounds you've just had to endure. Again, you close your eyes, not wanting to be faced with the horror you know is sure to greet you if your were to look in the male's direction as soon as Jeno steps away from his body.

The only downside to this is you cannot see Jeno approaching you, blood covering his hands as he reaches to wipe a tear off of your face.

As soon as you feel his gentle caress, you flinch, eyes flinging open to stare in horror at Jeno who now stands in front of you with that sickeningly sweet look of adoration in his eyes.

"How could you do such a thing?" Your voice nearly gets caught in your throat as the entire weight of the situation comes crashing down onto your shoulders. "You're a monster."

"On the contrary, Darling," Jeno grins, his eyes shining with a certain self-satisfaction as he stares deeply into your own. "I believe I've just become your hero."

[jenoroyals]

Monster In Hiding - Lee Jeno

pairing : jeno x fem!reader

synopsis : Growing up as an only child, you never shared your toys and always got what you want. This time, the toy that you don't want to share is Lee Jeno.

word count : 6.8K words

content/warnings : stalker au!, drugging, drinking, obsessive beahvoir, cursing, sexual content, fliming sexual activities, etc.

featuring : chaewon (leseraffim), sungchan (riize), giselle (aespa), karina (aespa), haechan (nct), jaemin (nct), mark (nct), namjoon (bts)

You stared at him from a distance. The way his hair fell perfectly into place, the way his lips curled up halfway to form a smirk while talking to his friends, the way his big hands wrapped around the glass containing some type of champagne. 

“Yn.” Giselle snaps you from your daze. 

“What?” You softly mutter and turn towards her. 

“I said your parents are walking over here.” She repeats and nudges her head in the direction of your parents. 

“Sweetie.” Your father says while stopping just behind your chair. 

“Yes, dad?” You ask with a fake innocent smile plastered. 

“It’s almost time to go up on stage, come on.” Your mother says while grabbing your arm to help pull you up. 

Your father inherited Starlight, a business that your ancestors started up, after your grandfather died last year. Right now, your family is considered one of the wealthiest families worldwide, which leads to lots of business parties every week. 

This time however, your father was announcing his new business partner, Lee Ji-hun. He was the owner and CEO of Tradezen, a wholesale business. 

You sweetly smile at your parents before following them to the stage. As you stood there, you ran your hands down the sides of your red skin tight dress and flashed a smile through your pearly white teeth. Your eyes go straight towards his direction. 

He was sitting with his friends, laughing about something one of them said. Your father began his speech, going on and on about things that you couldn’t care less about. It wasn’t until he called Mr. Lee over when you started paying attention to his speech. 

“Starlight’s newest partner, Tradezen! Mr. Lee, please, come up here and introduce yourself. You bit back a smile watching him slowly walk on the stage. You gently held your hand out to shake his with a big smile on your face. 

“Thank you for the introduction, Mr. Ln. Hello, everyone. As you know this will be my last project before my son, Jeno, takes over as the official CEO of Tradezen. I’m so honored to be able to partner up with Starlight and Mr. Ln. Enjoy yourselves!” Mr. Lee says and raises his glass coins everyone to as well before taking a sip. 

After finishing, you walked back over to your table with your friends. You quickly sneaked a glance over to him but he was nowhere to be found. Pouting, you sat down with your friends who noticed the look on your face. 

“What’s wrong Yn?” Sungchan asks worriedly but you wave him off with a smile. 

“My feet just hurt from the heels, nothing to worry about.” You say with a smile prompting Sungchan to return to his conversation with Chaewon. 

As the night went on, you grew more and more disappointed when he was nowhere in sight. Having enough, you bid farewell to your friends before walking out and into the limo with your “driver,” Kim Namjoon. 

As soon as you sit down in the limo, he hands you several photographs. You take it from him with a smile before observing the photo. The first one shows him and an unknown girl, her pack pressed against the wall while his arms wrapped around her frame, their lips connected. 

You scoff amusingly before looking at the next photo. The girl, whom you recognize as Karina, gets into his limo while he holds the door open for her. Smiling, you look at the last photo. Their hands were interlocked as they walked into one of the hotels that his father owns. 

Letting out an amused chuckle, you hand the photographs back to Namjoon. However, you keep the one where they’re kissing in your hands while gently running your finger over his face in the photograph. 

“Let’s go, Joonie.” You say sweetly, looking out the window. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He replies and starts to drive off to your family mansion. 

-

Arriving at the mansion, Namjoon gets out first before opening the door and holding out his arm for you to take. Your hand goes to wrap around his arm before stepping out and inside the mansion. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Joonie. Tell my parents I’m sleeping if they ask for me.” You say and he gently nods at you with a wink before you walk into the secret room that you had built when your parents were in Hong Kong. 

You grab the key from around your neck and gently shove it into the door knob before opening it and locking it after. Walking closer to the board, you turn the switch on. The small room is adorned with white walls with nothing but a board, a table, and a chair.

Jeno’s face front and center in the middle of the board. You smile, observing the board. Different photos and articles of him decorate the board with comments in your own handwriting. 

You’ve always had a crazy attraction towards the said man. His dashing looks, his body that was sculpted by the gods themselves. Growing up, you always got what you wanted, and Lee Jeno was the thing you wanted right now. 

You look at the photo in your hand again before placing it on the table. Ripping a piece of tape, you stick it onto the picture before attaching it onto the board. Looking over, the lists of names catch your attention. Yeeun, Yuna, Bella, Daisy, Ning Ning, Isa, and many more. Smirking, you pull out a permanent marker from the table and start writing the name. 

In big black bold letters, ‘KARINA’ stares back up at you. You smile while looking at her name before running your pointer finger across it. Your eyes go back up to his picture in the center and gently, you caress his face. Your lipstick stain kisses all around him. 

“Soon, my love.” You say and smirk while placing a soft kiss on the picture. 

A bright red mark of your lips appears and you smile. Sitting down on the chair, you observe your masterpiece. Recalling each time you came in here and added every piece onto the board. Photos of him in the park, at his office, outside his window, and even when he’s just sitting in a cafe doing homework. 

The articles of him bringing different women home or checking into hotels with mysterious women bring your lips to a smile before you frown. Uncapping your marker, you go to write another comment. ‘Why not me?’ 

“You can’t hide from me.” You say softly to the picture before switching the light off and walking up the gigantic stairs and into your room to get ready for bed.  

-

It was a cold snowy day, but you didn’t let that stop you from wearing your shortest uniform to school. Instead, you wore black thigh high socks to help keep the breeze away. You paired your brown plaid miniskirt with a white blouse and tied a bow into the collar of it, the print matching your skirt. 

Your black uniform jacket hanging off your shoulders, not bothering to button it up. Your makeup was applied perfectly and you decided to tie a white ribbon into a bow in your hair that day. 

“Joonie, you can drop me off right here.” You say to him. 

“Yes ma’am. Have fun at school Yn.” He says sweetly and you place a quick kiss to his cheek before stepping out of the limo. 

You attended a private school for the elite families in South Korea. It was known as the “Golden Star” across all of the high schools in South Korea. Only the wealthiest families sent their students to that school, and others if they were lucky enough to get a scholarship, like Karina. 

Limos all piled up in the parking lot, dropping off their masters’ children. You knew Jeno was going to be in the front of the school, waiting for his friends. Putting a shy smile on your face, you walked a little faster hoping to “accidentally” bump into him. 

Just as your luck would have it, someone pushes you and you quickly bump into him. His arms go around your waist to help stabilize you. You tuck your chin in and smile before looking up at him. 

“I’m sorry, someone accidentally bumped into me.” You say sweetly and he softly smiles at you. 

“It’s alright.” He says, letting go of you and dropping down to his knees to pick up your notebook. 

You hold back a smirk watching him pick up your notebook while kneeling down. If only he knew what the sight in front of you was offing to you. You softly grab your notebook from him and smile sweetly again, showing off your pearly whites before bidding him farewell and walking to Sungchan and Chaewon. 

“Good morning.” You beam towards them and they flash you a smile while Chaewon comes to wrap her arms around you. 

“It’s so cold, Yn.” SHe lightly scolds and wraps her arms tighter around your figure. 

“It’s alright Chae. We’re going to be inside the whole day anyway since it’s snowing.” You say and she nods while letting go of you. 

“We still have some time before first class, should we go grab coffee from the canteen after Giselle gets here?” Sungchan suggests and you nod along with Chaewon. 

-

During lunch, you and your friends sat in the canteen while eating lunch. You were too lost in your thoughts but his name being said makes you perk up. 

“I heard Jeno fucks like an animal.” Giselle says and you look over to her. 

“How do you know?” You ask while taking a sip of your water. 

“Karina. She’s in my psych class and apparently after the party last night, she left with him.” Giselle says with a smirk and you have to bite down on your tongue to keep your mouth shut. 

“The things I’d let him do to me.” She continues with a sigh. 

“No way! Jamein is definitely more my type.” Chaewon says and looks over at him. 

His bright pink hair stood out against his friend group but all you could focus on was his best friend. His black hair was pushed up, showing off his forehead. His white button up was so tight, you could practically see his muscles bulging out, almost as if they were trying to escape from the tight material. 

“What about you Yn?” Giselle asks and you turn to look at them before smiling sweetly. 

“I don’t know, they’re all handsome.” You say and they both look at you with a raise of their eyebrows. 

“What about Haechan? Don’t you sit next to him in English Literature?” Chaewon asks while looking at him. 

You nod your head at her and go back to eating your food. Giselle’s words never leave your mind. Fucks like an animal huh? You smirk quickly thinking about it before replacing it with a smile again. The bell rings indicating that lunch is over and you go to throw your trash away. 

Bidding farewell to your friends, you walk to English Literature and already see Haechan sitting there. He smiles at you and waves. 

“Hi Yn! How’s your day so far?” He asks when you sit down next to him. 

“It’s been good Hyuck, how’s yours been?” You ask and take a piece of candy from your bag to give to him.

“It’s been good too. But, it’s a bit cold outside right? Why is your skirt so short?” He replies while unwrapping the piece of candy before shoving it into his mouth. 

You couldn’t tell him that you wore it for Jeno so you racked up your brain trying to find an excuse. Noticing your quietness, he nudges your shoulder, pushing for an answer. 

“Is it for a boy?” He asks teasingly, leaning his head onto his hand to get a good look at you. 

You shyly smile before shaking your head. 

“No it’s not. I just couldn’t find the one I normally wear.” You say and he nods his head at your answer. 

You exhale softly, proud of yourself for finding a believable lie. You take out your notebook, the same way that dropped when you bumped into Jeno, and begin to take notes as your teacher starts talking about a new topic. 

Haechan’s eyes go to your notebook and he squints them, trying to read your plans after school. Unfortunately you turn to the next page and he misses it. He groans softly before writing his own notes. 

Once the teacher was done, she gave you guys free time to work on homework due next week. Haechan turns to look at you and you turn to look at him as well. 

“Do you have any plans today?” He asks and you shake your head no. 

“Probably just going to be studying for exams.” You softly reply. 

“Oh, well if you get bored, you should come clubbing with me tonight. A bunch of my friends are going and you can bring your friends too!” Haechan says and you widen your eyes. 

Clubbing with his friends, as in clubbing with Jeno. You smile softly and turn to look over at him again. 

“I’ll text you if I come.” You say and he smirks. 

“We’re going to that new nightclub Mark’s dad opened up. It’s called DREAM.” He says and you smile at him once again. 

-

After school, you got inside the limo and saw Namjoon with a smile. 

“Where’s he going?” You ask and Namjoon secretly smiles before handing you a piece of paper. 

Opening it up, you read ‘Latte World,’ your favorite coffee shop.  Smiling, you place the piece of paper in your backpack and thank him. 

“Before I forget…” You say and pull out a band of money. 

“Here you go.” You finish and hand it to him who gently shakes his head. 

“Yn, I don’t do this for money, I do this because you’re like a sister to me.” He says. 

Namjoon has worked for your family since he was young. His father was your father’s driver and the two of them grew to be best friends. Unfortunately, his father died after a drunk driving accident. It crushed your family seeing Namjoon lose his only parent so your father took him in and gave him a job for life. 

“Just take it Joonie. You’re risking your life by following him.” You say and put the band of cash in his suit pocket before sitting back down and putting on your seatbelt. 

-

Sitting at the table near Jeno and Karina, you secretly smirk while pretending to look through your notes. Every so often, you glance up at them and see his hands pushing her hair behind her ear, or their laughter mixing together, or the way she touches his bicep. 

All of it pisses you off to the core. The jealousy in you bubbling up so high you could almost walk over there and just claim your man. He was yours and only yours. Your hands grip your skirt tightly while you clench your jaw. 

You try to focus your attention onto the papers in front of you but you can't. The emotions running too high within you. You softly clear your throat and sit up straight. Noticing that they were both too lost in their own world, you pull out your phone and snap a quick picture of him. 

After getting it, you turn down your brightness and bring your phone closer to you. His beautiful eyes that crinkle into crescent moons are what you focus on first. Smiling, you go down to his lips and zoom in. His perfect and kissable lips. They’re so pink and pretty. 

Dropping your smile. You shut off your phone and begin packing up your things. Namjoon was waiting for you in the parking lot, full intent on following Jeno when he leaves. Walking up to the black small car, you get in and Namjoon hands you a pair of sunglasses. 

“Did you put the air tag on his car?” You ask and Namjoon laughs at your question. 

“Of course I did.” He says and you laugh softly. 

“He’s not gonna know what hit him.” You say with a smirk. 

-

Another twenty minutes go by before Jeno and Karina are walking out of the coffee shop. You watch as Karina gets into an unknown car. Furrowing your eyebrows, you look at Jeno getting into his car alone. 

“Where’s he going?” You ask and Namjoon shakes his head. 

“Maybe another girl?” He suggests and you narrow your eyes at his car that starts to pull out from the parking lot. 

“Follow him.” You say and Namjoon complies. 

Following Jeno's Porsche, you try to see where he’s going but the streets are unfamiliar to you. It’s not until you see two big palm trees that you realize where he's going. 

“He better not be going to Giselle’s mansion.” You say out loud with a scowl. 

Sure enough, he parks outside her gate and waits for her to come out. Your heart was beating 1000 beats per minute, it felt like it was going to burst. You see her walk out the house in the tiniest dark blue dress you have ever seen. 

You scowl and huff out a breath of air. 

“That fuckin bitch!” You say out loud and Namjoon chuckles at your outburst. 

“Don't worry, we’ll still follow through with the plan.” He says and you nod your head at his words. 

Now you really had to go clubbing with them. You had to keep an eye out for your man. Feeling your anger rise, you text in the groupchat with Chewon and Giselels and tell them to meet up at DREAM Nightclub tonight. 

You knew that Giselle wasn't going to look at her phone while she was getting dick downed by Jeno but you wanted evidence when you came face to face with her at the club. 

-

You walked in the club hand in hand with Chaewon. You were wearing a black mini dress that showed off your curves perfectly and a pair of black strappy heels. Feeling a sense of confidence, you drag her towards Haechan who smiles brightly at you. 

“Yn! You made it!” He yells excitedly and you nod your head. 

“Of course!” You yell back and look at Giselle who's standing next to Jeno. 

Her eyes widen in surprise and she smiles awkwardly. 

“Yn! Chae! What are you guys doing here?” She asks through gritted teeth and you hold back the urge to roll your eyes. 

Faking a smile you grab her arm. “Hyuck invited me and said I could invite my friends. I texted in the group chat but you didn’t reply.” You fake a pout. 

She chuckles awkwardly. “Oh, I got busy.” She says and you nod your head at her mockingly. 

“I’m sure you were.” You say hoping it didn’t come off as condescending. 

“Drinks on me!” Mark yells and everyone cheers. 

You drop Giselle’s arm and link them with Chaewon before following Mark to drink. Namjoon poured shots for you guys and you downed it before asking for a mixed drink. He hands you your drink and you smirk at him while he does the same.

-

Throughout the night, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of your best friend and the man who you’ve been obsessed with since the beginning of time. They were dancing together, acting like no one was around. You let out another scoff and took a sip of your 4th drink that night. 

Her hips were grinding against his while her hands ran through his hair. You scowled watching them and slurped up the rest of your drink before grabbing Chaewon. 

“I don’t feel good.” You lie and she looks at you worriedly. 

“Oh no. Are you okay?” She asks while grabbing your arms. 

You shake your head no and look at her. “I think I need to go home.” You say and she nods her head. 

She interlocks her hands with yours and drags you towards Haechan to bid farewell before walking out of the nightclub. Before walking out, you give a signal to Namjoon who nods his head before going back to make drinks. She walks you to your car before opening it and helping you get inside. 

“Feel better Yn.” She says and you smile at her before she shuts the door. 

Right as the door closes you sit up and hit your hands against the leather seats. 

“I hate her! I hate her!” You scream while hitting the seats even harder. 

“She’s such a bitch. She knew what she was doing too.” You say out loud to no one in particular. 

Namjoon was still inside pretending to be a bartender. You sighed loudly and waited for him to get in the car. Pulling out your phone, you go to Instagram and see that Giselle posted a picture. You click on it and see that it's a photo of her and Jeno at the club. She was on his lap and smiling so brightly. Angrily, you throw your phone across the limo and clench the bottom of your dress. 

“All this work and effort that I put into him and he gives me nothing! Nothing!” You rant to yourself and pull at your hair softly.

Just then the car unlocks and you look out the window. Namjoon was carrying Jeno on his shoulders as he opened the trunk of the car. Smirking, you walk out of the car and pull open the trunk. Namjoon slowly lays Jeno’s unconscious body into the trunk and you smirk at him. 

Gently, you caress his cheek before placing a soft kiss on it. Your lipstick transferring onto there. 

“Sit tight, my love.” You whisper quietly before closing the truck and walking back into the limo. 

-

“Anything I can get for you sir?” Namjoon asks, looking at Jeno and Giselle. 

“Uh, just whiskey on the rocks please.” Jeno replies and he smiles at him. 

“Sure thing, son.” He says before turning around to make Jeno’s drink. 

Slowly, he pulls out the drug that he managed to get his hands on. He crushes it up silently before slipping the full tab into Jeno’s drink. He slowly stirs the drink making the drug dissolve into smaller pieces. 

Satisfied, he hands the drink to Jeno who thanks him before walking off with Giselle back to their table. Namjoon watches as Jeno slowly sips on the drink. He smirks while walking to the bathroom, changing into his suit. 

Once he finished, he noticed that Jeno was slumped over the table all alone. He scanned around the room, finding his friends on the dance floor and Giselle dancing with Mark. Smiling, he walks over to Jeno and gently lifts him. 

Thankfully the club was so dark that no one even batted an eye at him. He quickly walks through the back door and towards the limo. 

-

“Time to wake up, my love.” Jeno hears and slowly blinks his eyes open. 

He tries to move his hands but they’re tied behind his back. He groans and tries to speak but before he could, you place a piece of tape to his mouth. 

“Finally.” You say and place yourself on his lap, sitting right on his cock. 

“Do you know how long I’ve pined for you, my love?” You ask and gently caress his face in your hands. 

Jeno lets a tear slip from his eyes and you coo while wiping it. 

“Don’t cry, my love.” You say and gently continue wiping at his eyes. 

“Everything is going to be okay, I promise.” You say and his eyes narrow at yours. 

“Don't be upset, my love. I just wanted to be with you. Don’t you know that I love you?” You ask, looking at him with your doe eyes. 

“It hurt me so bad when I had to hear about other girls talking about you.” You say and trace his facial features with your finger. 

“I was thinking ‘Why not me?’ the whole time.” You get up from his lap and turn his chair around to face the board. 

You rip the list of names from the board and walk closer to him. You flip the paper around to show him and his eyes widen. 

“Yeeun. She was a bit older wasn’t she?” You ask and tilt your head to the side mockingly. 

“Next was Yuna, right? She’s pretty.” You comment walking around in a circle around him. 

As you go down the list, you make teasing remarks against each and everyone one of them. 

“And finally, Karina.” You say staring into his eyes. 

“If I recall correctly, you guys hooked up after my father’s party last week.” You finish and sit down on his lap again. 

“Was she good?” You ask and he hardens his gaze at you. 

“You don’t want to answer me? Fine.” You say and look him in the eyes. 

“She had a lot to say about you though. Said you fucked like an animal.” You confess and start grinding your hips softly against his. 

He lets out a soft groan that's muffled and you smirk before stopping. 

“Oh! It’s missing something.” You say and get off of his lap.

You grab the marker from before and look at him. “My best friend’s name.” You say and remove the cap from the marker. 

You write her name quickly before putting the cap back on the marker. You tape the piece of paper back onto the wall and turn to look at him. You smile at him and then look at the marker. Angrily, you threw the marker at him and it bounced off his chest. 

“Have fun sleeping tonight.” You say with a smirk before taking a step away from him. 

Before you could get further away from him, his hands went to your waist and pulled you down onto his lap again. 

“Jeno!” You exclaim and try to get up from him but he just smirks and holds you against him tighter. 

“You should’ve tied these better, baby. I slipped out of them 10 minutes ago.” He says and you widen your eyes. 

“Jeno let go of me!” You yell and try to push him off but he holds your hands against his chest, locking them in place. 

“What’s wrong baby? You scared? You were so confident earlier.” He teases and tilts his head to the side, mocking you. 

“Jeno.” You whine and he hums in amusement bringing his face closer to yours. 

“You really think we accidentally bumped into each other?” He asks and you furrow your brows questioningly at him. 

“Hyuck, she arrives at school at 7:15 everyday at the North entrance. I need you to bump into her so that she bumps into me.” Jeno says and Hyuck laughs. 

“Listen, I know you’re like obsessed with her but just go fuckin talk to her man. You know, like a normal human being.” Haechan says and Jeno glares at him. 

“Shut the fuck up and just do what I say.” Jeno growls before pushing Haechan away softly and walking out of his house. 

-

“Giselle huh?” Jeno asks with a smirk, looking over the file. 

“Yes. Giselle is her best friend who’s also close to Karina. Now, Karina has a big ass mouth. If you fuck her she’ll for sure tell Giselle who will go running to tell Yn.” Haechan says and Jeno smiles amusingly. 

“Perfect.” Jeno says and gets up to walk to the corner of the room. 

A shrine exactly like Yn’s was placed there. Her photos and articles spread out everywhere. Jeno admires his artwork with a smile on his face while Hachan shakes his head and leaves. 

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m coming for you.” He says and traces your face in the photo before smiling again. 

-

Taking the drink from Namjoon, he smirks. He lets go of Giselle and hands his drink to Haechan who only smirks as well. Haechan looks up at the taller boy with a nod and he chuckles amusingly.

“Game on.” Jeno whispers to himself and smirks.

-

“I kept tabs on you too, baby.” He smirks and your eyes widen in realization. 

Jeno orchestrated everything by using Haechan. He planted your desk near Haechan and he planted using Karina and Giselle to make you act out. 

“I knew I was obsessed with you, baby. But, you. You’re fuckin crazy. Keeping tabs on all my hook ups and shit. Were you jealous?” He whispers and you stay silent. 

This wasn’t what you planned. How the fuck did he even get loose. Instead of him being trapped, you are. You fell right into his fuckin trap just like he wanted. You were terrified of what he might do to you. Never in a million years did you think the sweet man in front of you was able to spew such words from his mouth. 

“Namjoon!” You try screaming but Jeno shushes you by bringing his forehead closer to yours. 

“He won’t hear you, baby. Hyuck already knocked him out cold.” Jeno says and chuckles at your reaction. 

“Isn’t this what you wanted, baby?” He asks and hums when you don't answer. 

He bounces his knees up and down, trying to shake an answer out from you. You don't want him to get the satisfaction though, choosing to keep your mouth shut. 

He lets go of your hands and wraps them around his neck. He slowly rolls your hips against his and you bite your lip to contain the sounds begging to come out. His hands run up and down your sides and he places his lips on your neck. 

“I’ve dreamed of this for so long, baby.” He whispers into your neck and you mewl at his words. 

He smirks and pushes up your dress to expose your black lacy panties. He sucks on your neck and starts leaving his mark all over you. You moan and pull at his hair. 

“Jeno.” You moan and grip his hair tighter. 

He chuckles and pulls away from your neck to look at your blown out eyes. Feeling shy, you shut them but his big hand wraps around your neck and squeezes. 

“Look at me, baby.” He growls and you open your eyes at his harsh tone. 

He lets go of your neck and brings his hands back to your hips before pushing you off of him. His jeans were damp from how wet you were. 

“You’re such a fuckin slut.” He growls and pulls you down to your knees. 

“Take my cock out and suck it like the good girl I know you are.” He says and you start to shake from his use of words. 

He was being mean and you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. 

“No.” You softly say and he growls before bringing your face to his. 

His fingers hold a death grip on your face and he pushes your cheeks in. 

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” He questions and you whine from the pain. 

“Hurts.” You try to mumble out and he just laughs. 

“When I tell you to do something, you fuckin do it, whore.” He says and pushes your face away harshly. 

You finally let the tears fall down your cheeks and you try to inhale a deep breath but Jeno was quicker. He grabs your arm and pulls your face to his clothed cock, pushing your cheek against him and holding you there. 

You whine out at him and try to push yourself off but he's stronger. 

“Jeno, m’ sorry.” You say and he laughs at you again before letting go. 

“Need to fuck that nasty mouth of yours.” He says and undoes his jeans before lifting his hips up to slide them off, leaving him in his boxers.

You whine and try to crawl away from him but he grabs your hips and pulls you back to him. You scream when you feel him set you right on top of his aching cock. He rips your dress off your body and sees that you aren’t wearing a bra. 

“Fuckin whore.” He spits out and gropes both of your breasts with his hands. You let out the slutiest moan you’ve ever let out and he chuckles at that. 

“You’re so resistant but I can feel you practically dripping for me.” He says and brings his fingers to your heat. 

He cups it and you let out a moan. 

“S’ not for you.” You lie and he smirks. 

“Oh really?” He asks cockily before sliding his finger into your panties and ripping them. 

Gently rubbing against your heat, you mewl and squirm. 

“You’re such a fuckin liar.” He growls out and inserts a finger into you. 

“Jeno!” You moan out and he smirks again. 

“You think you’re so tough but the moment I fight back you’re back to your innocent self.” He admits and starts thrusting his finger in deeper and faster.

“Jeno! More!” You yell out and he stops his ministrations which makes you whine. 

“Beg for it.” He spits out and you shake your head. 

“I’ll fucking leave you here dripping wet.” He claims and you shake your head again while crying. 

“No, please!” You yell out and hold onto his bicep. 

“Please Jeno! I want more, please! Give me more! I’ll be good for you, I promise!” You beg and he smirks before inserting his fingers in again.

He shoves in two more fingers and that has you spasming in his hold. You lean your head in his neck and moan loudly. You could feel the knot in your stomach building up fast. 

“Jeno, m’ gonna cum!” You scream and he starts pumping in his fingers deeper. 

“Fuckin cum then you whore.” Jeno spits out and you finally release the knot after his degradation. 

You breathe heavily against his neck and he slowly slips his fingers out of you. He brings them to his lips and starts sucking on them, getting every little drop of you off his fingers. 

“Get on your knees.” He growls and you quickly scramble to do as he says. 

He pushes his boxers down and grabs his cock. It was so pretty, long and girthy. You could see every little vein on it and your mouth starts to drool. 

“Open up.” He says and you follow his command. 

Opening up your mouth, he grabs the base of your neck and sinks his cock into your mouth. Groaning at the feeling of your mouth around him, he pulls you off him before sinking your mouth back down. He was hitting the back of your throat and you felt the urge to gag. 

Letting out a gag, Jeno smirks and brings your head even further down on him. He fucks your mouth hard and fast while groaning. 

“Nasty ass fucking attitude. I’m gonna fuck that shit out of you.” He says and pushes your head so far down on him your nose was touching his pelvis. 

He felt your throat close up around him and the vibrations of your throat as you moaned. That was enough for him to shoot his load into your mouth and he let out a heavy groan. 

“Fuckin swallow all of it.” He says and you try your best to swallow his cum but there was so much. 

A bit of his cum slips out and runs down his cock and you can't help but watch it. He pulls you off his cock and you cough harshly at the new found freedom. You open up your mouth to show him that you swallowed his cum. 

The cum that you didn’t swallow was pooling on the floor and Jeno noticed it. He looks down at it before smirking up at you. 

“Clean it up, whore.” He says smugly and you look down in shame before getting on all fours. 

Jeno grabs his phone that fell on the floor and opens up his camera. He records you as you lick his cum off the floor. He brings his phone closer to your face and when you notice his phone you gently whine and try to cover your face. 

Jeno pries your arms away from your face and smirks. 

“Let me see your pretty face, baby.” He says and you shyly look into the camera which causes him to groan. 

“You’re so fuckin hot.” He says and lifts your head up to kiss you. 

He can taste himself on your lips but he doesn;t care. His tongue pushes past your lips and fights for dominance against yours. You moan into the kiss and wrap your arms around his neck. 

Jeno opens his eyes and flips the camera around so it’s in selfie mode. He records the both of you kissing while his free hand goes towards your neck. He discreetly squeezes it and you moan loudly into his mouth. He smirks into the kiss before pulling away and brings his phone back around to film your body. 

“I fuckin love you.” He says and you smile at his words before sitting on his lap. 

“I love you too.” You say shyly and press a quick kiss onto his lips. 

He stands up and wraps your legs around his waist. He walks you over to the table and places you on it. Jeno breaks the kiss and places his phone on the table, making sure he gets the both of you in frame. 

“Turn around and bend over for me baby.” He says and you comply with his words. 

You bend over against the table. The coolness of it pressing up against your front sends shivers down your body. Your cheek was pressed against the table and you drooled, anticipating what was coming next. Jeno lines himself up against your hole and pushes in.

“Jeno!” You scream as you feel him inside you. “S’ too big!” You scream and he chuckles. 

“Baby, it’s not even all the way in yet.” He says while gripping your hips in place. 

He pushes in further until he’s all the way in and stays still for a moment. After you give him a nod of approval he pulls out before harshly slamming back in. 

“Jeno!” You scream and grip onto the edges of the table. 

He chuckles and grabs his phone to get a closer look at him going in and out of you. He groans at the sight and smacks your ass leaving his handprint everywhere. 

“Jeno, it hurts!” You yell out and he just continues doing it. Smacking your ass until it was red all over while his dick was continuing to thrust inside you. 

“Jeno, I’m cumming!” You yell out and cream all over his cock. 

He zooms in and watches as your cum slowly falls out and it makes him go even more crazy. He thrusts in faster, harder, and deeper, chasing his own release. When he finally lets go, he finishes inside you and groans. 

He slowly pulls out and observes his cum falling out of your tiny hole. He laughs and smacks your ass again making you yelp. He stops the recording and shuts off his phone before wiping you clean with his button up. He turns you around and lifts you up while you cuddle into him. 

“Baby, you can’t fall asleep yet. You still need to go pee.” He says softly and you nod your head before letting go of him. 

You slowly start collecting your ripped clothing as he puts his briefs on. You wait for him to finish while holding your hand out. He laughs softly and coos at you before intertwining your hands. 

You drag him to your room and he sits down on your bed while you go pee. After peeing, you walk to your closet and find a fresh pair of undergarments with an oversized shirt. Quickly slipping it on, you grab one of your dads old sweats from your drawer and give it to Jeno. 

He presses a quick kiss to your lips in gratitude before sliding them on and getting into bed with you. His arms wrap around you and he squeezes you tighter. 

“I love you, you psycho.” He says and you laugh before kissing his neck softly. 

“I love you too.” 

-

The next morning, Giselle woke up and went on Instagram. She clicked on her profile to view the photo she posted of her and Jeno before smiling widely. 

She notices that he posted a photo and clicks on it. Her eyes widening when she sees your face plastered with a big smile and a bunch of marks left all over your neck. You were shirtless too because the marks went so far down your chest, your breasts were barely cut off from the photo. 

“That’ll teach her.” You said quietly as you looked on Jeno’s instagram. His arms were still wrapped around you and he softly laughed at your words. 

“You’re such a monster.” He says and you click your tongue at him. 

“Yeah, but you love it.” You say and his hand comes to wrap around your neck to bring your lips to his. 

“I do love it, baby.” He whispers before kissing you.

End.

[raspberriesoda]

and again. » ljn

genre | angst with fluffy ending, jeno x reader, college au

word count | 2.7k

summary | you hadn’t seen jeno since you had broken up, but a new year’s party brings you back together again, physically and emotionally

warnings | argument, small mention of past relationship issues and insecurity, light swearing, teeniest alcohol mention, flashback where jeno is a dick to reader, one female pet name (pretty girl) but i think its pretty gn aside from that

tonight marks roughly one year.

it’s been an entire twelve months since the big fight that had ultimately caused the downfall of one of the most fawned over relationships on campus. in one year, you’d surprisingly- impressively, even- managed to avoid talking to him or seeing him in person at all.

which really, was your biggest motive for desperately wanting to skip out on the party tonight. you knew jeno would be there, despite the numerous attempts by all of your friends of trying to convince you otherwise. but you knew that you couldn’t bail on everyone who hadn’t seen you since you arrived back from visiting home. not to mention, everyone was going to be there. it’s new years eve, and no one misses the new years party. so you just had to swallow your pride and attend.

the fact that it was the very same party that drove you apart the year prior, however, is another major reason you’d rather just stay home.

even as you sat in your best friend’s car, you weighed your options.

“do we really have to go?”

“are you really asking me that when we’re already half way there?” ningning asks, but its less of a question and more of a statement. “i can drop you off on the street if you really want me to,” she jabs.

you groan, your head falling against the headrest and your hands sliding down your face.

“who’s to say he’s even gonna be there anyway?” karina asks from the backseat.

“stop giving me hope, everyone is going to be there.” you sulk, crossing your arms and sinking down in the passenger seat.

“then what are the chances you'll even run into him? more people more distractions, right?” giselle consoles. she had a valid point, but even the slimmest chance made you want to rip your hair out.

ningning parallel parks her car on the side of the residential road, and the house party practically lights up the entire night sky. your girlfriends chatter excitedly as their heels clack on the sidewalk, all the while you’re hoping, praying that karina and giselle are right.

but as fate would have it, not even three footsteps in the door, you spot him. and unfortunately, your presence doesn’t go unnoticed either.

jeno is stood by the fireplace, deep in conversation, but sees you almost immediately upon your arrival, like the universe was on a timer, counting down to the exact second that your eyes would meet again, not a moment too soon or too late. his lips are parted like he stopped mid sentence, and you stand dumbfounded in the doorway, staring stupidly at him as people shove past you to enter.

renjun taps jeno’s shoulder from beside him, most likely trying to bring his attention back, but jeno’s eyes never leave yours, and you see him mouth your name in response to his confused friend, making your heart flip. renjun follows his eyes, adding to the unwanted attention that’s been placed on you. jeno then suddenly takes a few steps toward you, squeezing through the dense crowd, but before you think it through, you scurry off in the other direction.

“y/n, will you stop pouting about it already?”

you enter your apartment with jeno trailing behind you, your mood extremely sour as you open the door and let it slam against the wall.

“i’m not pouting, jeno. i’m upset, do you not get that?”

“you’re so dramatic,” jeno scoffs. he kicks off his shoes and drops his jacket over the back of your couch, so nonchalant about the whole situation that it makes you even angrier.

“she was all over you!” you cry out in desperation. you’ve repeated this what seemed like a hundred times already, but no matter what you said jeno wouldn’t even attempt to understand.

or maybe, he just didn't care.

“you couldn't even bother to just tell her to stop!”

jeno rolls his eyes. “i told you, y/n, i did tell her to stop. she wouldn’t listen.”

“then that's when you walk away, jeno. push her off of you, ignore her, anything! actions speak louder than words.” your arms flail wildly as you speak. “why do i even have to explain something like this to you? i’ve told you about what’s happened to me before and-“

he’s not even looking at you.

“are you listening?! do you even give a shit about how i feel right now?”

“not when you’re acting like this, y/n.” he drones, tapping away at his phone screen. “maybe if you’d just calm down and acted a little less crazy i’d be more inclined.”

all you feel is red. red from the sting of tears muddling your line of vision. red from the prick of your nails digging into your palms as they grip into fists at your sides. red for the old wound he’s just slashed open.

your voice is low and calm when you speak again.

“get the fuck out of here, jeno.”

only then does he decide to look at you.

“babe-” the smallest hint of guilt crosses his eyes, but he’s burned the bridge already. he reaches a hand out toward you, but you step back as if he’s venomous.

“get out!” you screech, not even caring that it rattles the walls. jeno flinches back. with a huff, he grabs his things and stomps out the door, slamming it behind him.

against all odds, everywhere you look, he’s there.

you see him when you’re seated by the tv watching a tipsy group of freshman struggle to get through a round of a dancing game; he’s sitting on the opposite end of the couch, laughing when they stumble.

and again, when you’re outside soaking in the fresh air; he’s got the attention of everyone lounging in the hot tub, telling them stories behind the constellations visible from the deck.

and again, when you’re reaching into the fridge for another drink; he’s pouring shots for swooning girls at the kitchen island.

always suspiciously close, yet just far enough away.

you initially thought it to be just an unfortunate coincidence, but the house was much too big and had too many other places to be. he’s attracting way too much attention to himself in such ways that it’s impossible for him not to be pining for yours in particular.

enough is enough. you decide that if jeno wants a show, you’ll give him a show.

the basement is the one place left in the house where you hadn’t seen him. its a cozy little space, with sports banners and posters of swimsuit clad models cluttering the walls, and along with the pair of couches there's a large pool table. you watch as your friend jaemin stands beside it, twirling his pool cue in his hands, laughing at something haechan had said. you swirl the liquid around in your red solo cup, an idea brewing in your mind.

right on time, you see jeno descend the staircase. you stand, walking over to jaemin.

“help me with something,” you whisper into his ear. he gives you a curious look, but when your eyes flick over to jeno, jaemin understands immediately and gives you a subtle nod.

it’s no secret to you- or to anyone, really- that jeno is watching you. you can feel his eyes on you, burning your skin as you grab the cue from jaemin’s hand and lean over the bright green table to shoot a striped ball into a pocket. jaemin gives you a charming smile, complimenting your technique. his bubblegum hair reminds you of the color jeno’s was before the breakup. it’s never bothered you before, but your heart involuntarily twists at the thought.

you hum, rounding the table to stand right beside your pink haired friend, scanning for the right ball to shoot in next. you lift your cue to point at the number ten ball, turning to jaemin, tilting your head.

“i don’t think i can get this one on my own, do you mind helping me out?” you ask smoothly, dragging your fingers up his arm. your friend picks up quickly, smirking down at your innocently pouty expression.

“sure thing, pretty,” jaemin hums with faux flirtation. he does a flawless job of dragging his hands along all of the parts your body that were jeno’s favorites, and you can almost feel his stare burn hotter. you not-so-subtly bite down a grin as jaemin leans over you, breathing heavily down your neck as he guides the cue through your arms, shooting the ball directly into a pocket.

after watching from the corner for a while, jeno begins to make his way towards you, telling you that he’s had enough of staying arms length away.

“you’re not subtle,” jeno says bluntly. its directed at you, but he’s glaring at jaemin.

you scowl, casually chalking up the tip of the cue you hold. “a bit narcissistic to think this is about you, don’t you think?” you hadn't expected those to be the first words you’d spoken to him in a year.

“do you mind?” jaemin interjects, his hand resting on your hip. “we’re in the middle of something.”

the tension in the room rises.

“well, whenever you’re finished,” jeno spits through his teeth. he shifts his eyes down toward you then, his gaze just a little bit softer. “i’d be really grateful if you’d meet me outside. i wanna talk to you, if you’ll let me.” and with that he’s gone.

after serious contemplation, you do decide meet him outside, despite a very sensible voice in your head telling you not to. as soon as you slide open the glass door and step out onto the grass, he’s leaning against the side of the house, closer to you than he’s been all night- all year. this close up view of him makes your heart flutter more than you’d ever be willing to admit in the moment. his hair is a shade of brown you’ve never seen on him, but his eyes glimmer just the same as they always have when he looks at you.

“long time no see, baby,” he greets you, the corner of his mouth tipped up in a small somber looking smile.

“that’s not my name.”

“it used to be,” he replies. you roll your eyes.

“what do you want, jeno?” it’s harder to say his name out loud than you thought it would be.

“i know you’ve been thinking about it, too,” he says softly, a very sharp contrast from the vibe he’s been presenting to other partygoers the entire night. the bass thumping upstairs is synched with your heartbeat. you still can’t bring yourself to look directly at him. “there’s no other reason you’d pull a stunt like that. jaemin is handsome, sure, but he’s not your type.” you fold your arms, slumping a bit. you hate that he’s right; that you haven’t changed enough during the time that’s passed and he can still read you like an open book.

“doesn’t feel so good, does it?”

jeno swallows, his head bowing forward to fix his eyes on his feet.

“i wanted to say i’m sorry.”

you turn to look at him then, your brows raised. “isn’t it a little late for that?”

“you blocked my number,” he says; you’d almost forgotten you had, in fact, blocked him on just about everything. “i couldn’t get a hold of you in person, either.

but i didn’t know what to say even if i could. there’s no excuse for what i said to you, and an ‘i’m sorry’ doesnt cut it.”

the look jeno is giving you is so genuine that its hard to breathe. all of a sudden your facade begins to crumble. “i can’t- i’m not doing this, not right now,” you tell him dolefully, turning around to slip back into the house, but he catches your elbow; his grip is soft, unthreatening, unmalicious.

“please, please just listen to me, i’m begging you.” when you turn around he’s on his knees, looking up at you with a pleading look on his face and your hand is clasped between both of his own. you despise how he looks so beautiful in the dim moonlight.

“jeno.” you blink your tears away. “don’t beg for me, please.”

he tugs lightly on your wrist, and reluctantly you sink down to kneel in front of him on the grass.

“i haven’t had a full night’s sleep in a year. every time i dream, its about you. believe me y/n i've tried so hard to let it go but the things i said to you still haunt me.”

his eyes flicker across yours, glistening with tears of his own, searching for something he can grab onto. the floodgates holding your emotions in begin to crack at a rate that’s too quick for you to keep up with. “you, you knew how i felt, about things like that,” your voice stutters, your lip quivers. “you knew, and, and you still-“ you choke on a sob.

“i know. y/n i’m so sorry,” he gingerly lifts a hand to your face, pausing for a moment, but when you don’t lean away or swat at him, his thumb brushes your cheek to wipe a tear away that’s just fallen from your lashes, tenderly tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “thinking about how i made you feel that night makes me so disgusted with myself. i never ever wanted to hurt you, but the fact is that i did and i can’t forgive myself for that.”

a moment of quiet passes between you. you wipe at your face with the sleeve of your sweater over and over but your tears don’t stop and the runaway drops fall onto your bare knees.

“do you remember when we won king and queen of prom court in high school?”

his sudden question puzzles you. you look up at him, and you see the real jeno. your jeno, soft and simple and so full of love.

“we went out for ice cream after the dance. it was the first night i told you i loved you.

and again, when we went to your sister's wedding together. you accidentally spilled red wine on my favorite white dress shirt. you were trying so hard not to cry, but i told you it didn’t matter, because i loved you.

and again, when we took your little brother and his friends out to that laser tag place for his birthday. we played one on one, and when you asked me why i let you win, i told you it was because i loved you.

and again, when you broke your wrist falling off the old tire swing in your front yard. you asked me why i came over every night to feed you dinner, even though you didn’t need the help, and i told you it’s because i loved you.”

“what are you doing?” you cut him off before he can continue any further, your voice small and trembling.

“i’m telling you that i still love you.”

he scoots forward on the ground, his body now so close to yours that you can feel his warmth. “i know i don’t deserve it, but all i’m asking for is another chance to love you right, the way you deserve to be loved.” his fingers cling tightly to your hand he still holds as he speaks.

“i don't know where you stand, so you’ve got all the power in your hands right now. stay here with me, and i’ll know we’re on the same page. turn around, and i’ll leave you alone, and you won’t see me again. it’s your choice, and i won’t judge you either way. your word is the final word.”

you feel heavy. his sweet words and the smell of his familiar cologne are intoxicating, but you do know you have the ability to get up and walk away right now if you want to.

but… do you want to?

the painful racing of your heart reminds you that no matter what, no matter how long you’ve been apart, you love jeno. you always have you and always will.

you raise a hesitant arm, placing your shaking hand lightly on his shoulder, and he draws in a breath. your fingers dance upward, contemplating, lips parted slightly with hazy breaths. cupping his jaw, you lean upward, brushing your lips against his in the lightest kiss, testing the waters.

you ignite. suddenly you’re full of such a serene feeling of home, a feeling you hadn’t realized had been absent from your life from the second you pushed him out of it. all the memories you’d tried so hard to keep at bay come rushing back with the image of a soft and smiley jeno; one who’s never had anything but love for you. jeno sees your eyes light up, and he smiles dreamily at you. in an instant, you’ve never been more sure of anything.

you press yourself up against him, pulling him down into your lips, and he wraps you up in his arms. even though the house is filled with the sounds and heat of other people, it’s only you and jeno in the entire world. you pull away when you can’t control your cries anymore, burying your face in his neck instead.

“i’m sorry,” your voice wobbles as you let out the words, but jeno sweetly hushes you, rocking you back and forth in time with the rhythm of the muffled music.

“no apologies from you, pretty girl. none of this is your fault.” you feel the weight of the world lifted from your shoulders. he presses a gentle kiss to your temple, resting his chin on top of your head.

“i love you,” he reassures you. and he does again, and again, and again.

[hugs2doie]

now playing — i don’t love you by urban zakapa

“i don’t love you.” jeno said as he was standing in front of you, after he called you to tell you that you needed to meet up.

today was your 6th month anniversary. so you expected a surprise, anything but this.

“why?” the words came out like a trembling whisper, tears forming in your eyes.

he was the opposite, though. his eyes seemed emotionless to you, almost as if he seemed bored.

he was your everything, everything you thought about or cared for.. you thought it went both ways, but apparently, not. it hurt so much; did these months mean nothing to him?

“i… i don’t know there’s- there’s not a reason, for it. i just, don’t love you anymore.” jeno didn’t even feel like apologizing, why would he apologize for his feelings? that’s what he felt, so he didn’t seem it reasonable to apologize.

“sorry, that’s just how i feel.” it seemed forced, because it was, but he couldn’t care less, he didn’t feel anything for you.

you broke into tears, despite trying to stay with your head high as you were looking at him for reasons, he just awkwardly stared at you, he didn’t know what else to say, how to comfort you, even.

no matter how many tears left your cheeks, how you kept on asking if it was you the reason he fell out of love, how he saw other people looking at him as if he was a monster for making you cry,

jeno’s heart didn’t ache for you anymore.

[neochan]

how do u think jeno would treat u after u getting jealous and insecure over some girl hitting on him 😵‍💫

"babe what's wrong."

you turn your head away from him and cross your arms over your chest, "she was clearly hitting on you."

he chuckles, "yeah, so?"

"so?" you mutter, hurt, "she... she wants you... and she's prettier than me and -"

his hand shoots out, "woah, she's not prettier than you. no girl is.". he pulls you against him in a flush embrace, "you're the prettiest girl i know. and the only one i want." he smirks against your shoulder, "how could i love anyone else when i have the best right here."

slumping into his touch, you rest your chin on him, "but you're my boyfriend so you're obligated to say that."

he sighs and pulls back, taking your face in his hands, "i'm going to marry you. get down on one knee and pull out a ring. we're gonna have a house and a dog. and a baby or two or three." his eye smile shines on his face, "and we're gonna get old and wrinkly, and i'll still say you're the most beautiful even when you look like a shriveled raisin."

you snort.

"never doubt yourself baby. you're all i want, okay?"

"okay..."

[duhnova]

I NEED SOME FLOOF WITH JENO 😭😭😭 i'll have exams coming up and i'm so stressed 😩

things jeno would do for you to help you relax during finals week

mentions of food, LOTS AND LOTS OF FLUFF ( wc: 416 )

i hope this is what you were looking for! i too have exams coming up and this was kind of self projected but i hope it’s floofy enough for you! (๑╹ω╹๑ ) also good luck on your exams!

novas 600 follower celebration!

- makes you tea / coffee : he knows how stressed you get when you have to pull an all nighter to study for an exam so he makes you a nice warm cup of coffee or tea to keep you energized and awake.

- gives you messages : the tension in your body is bad as it already is but when finals roll around it doubles, so jeno will pull you away from your desk for a couple minutes to message away all the knots in your back.

- gives you soft kisses : he hates the way your brow creases or how your fingers tighten around your pencil when you’re getting frustrated, so to help relax you a little he’ll give you soft kisses on your cheek or the corner of your eyes/mouth or sometimes he’ll tip your head up to steal a quick kiss from your lips.

- helps you take care of your well-being : he’ll force you out of your chair if it’s getting too late, wanting you to get at least 8 hours of sleep. he’ll bring you water every couple of hours to make sure you’re staying hydrated. and he’ll make you snacks/meals so that you’re getting the right amount of nutrients a day.

- keeps you motivated : when he notices you start to burn out he’ll take you out for ice cream or to see a movie, hoping that the day away from your studies is enough of a break for you to feel refreshed and ready to study again.

- he’ll just sit with you : just having his presence in the same room as you is enough to make you feel less restless as you stare at a book for hours. sometimes he’ll even sit in your chair and have you sit in his lap while you work, he’ll stay silent and keep his hands to himself while he rests his head on your shoulder.

- him countlessly saying “i love you” and “i’m so proud of you”

- when you pass your exams you’re met with him telling you how proud he is of you, he’ll take you out to celebrate at your favorite restaurant and finish the day off with a movie and milkshakes!

- if you fail an exam or have a bad testing experience he’ll be there to reassure you that this one test doesn’t define your worth or intelligence, and then he’ll take you out and spoil you with love and gifts and cuddles ( he’ll also tell you he’s still so proud of you )