#jenson is so fine i am obsessed with him

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Bahrain Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Sebastian Vettel & Jarno Trulli)

[georgegraphys]

Warning : A long rant. Emotion-heavy one.

Look i don't want to address this but

As I said, my ults are 3 in F1. George, Max, Nando. Aside from that, I am not invested in them nor do I have the obligation to be invested in all of them.

What LH did is what LH did. I got an ask one day asking what I thought about his move and I answered that sometimes I worried about the dynamics there (collectivist company vs individualistic individual) and that was one or two asks about it THAT'S THAT. I do not throw shit on him for leaving nor I'm saying "oh he shouldn't leave". I learned and observed organizational cultures because I work and study on that field and I was intrigued by how the dynamics of two really different parties would work. That doesn't mean i'm OBSESSED or i'm hating. I was answering an ask 😭 Besides, Jenson practically says the similar thing. Did he hate on LH? No. He was just stating his concern and opinion. All of us are entitled to have our concerns and opinions in a public space and in a publicized sport. But that doesn't mean questioning, voicing your opinion or objecting to a view means you are hating as long as it is done within the limits. If your interpretation of "hate" is that then you're so dense. How do you even survive in a world where people's opinions differ from yours?

I fully respect his move. Good for him if he thinks so. He knows himself better than me and he's a 39 year old man. I can voice my concern but that doesn't stop me from also acknowledging that my concerns will have shortcomings as I don't know him personally like he himself did.

Regarding the Ferrari hate, I don't like them. I don't like their management. I don't like how they work. But do I hate every one of their drivers? No. I don't hate SAI or LEC or even HAM next year. Hell i even like their junior academy so much because it is very good nowadays. I'm a big fan of Taponen, Bearman and Nobels. But I dislike how Ferrari works. Their management styles are just not my style. It's giving that traditionalistic vibes that I dislike. And what's wrong with it? You can't like everyone nor am I obligated to like them. And if you're talking about being obsessed, talk to those toxic tifosis first. Those same tifosi who are so desperate to get Newey to "destroy Merc" "destroy RBR" and won't stop leaving him alone when he said he's going to take a break first. Those same trollfosis that act like Newey signed in already and act so proud with all of their chests while insulting other RBR and Merc engineers. It's fucking annoying you know? You can't expect me, a RBR and Merc fan, to like those things. Do you expect a Real Madrid fan to like Barcelona? Do you expect a Yuzuru Hanyu fan to like Nathan Chen 24/7? You can't go into a competitive sport thinking that someone can't show their dislike or hatred or ick towards a rival lol. This is a competition. Not an episode of Hi-Five on disney channel where everyone is best friends.

And if you talk about being obsessed again, talk to that one Ferrari account who comments shady stuff under George congratulating Lando posts. None of George and Lando are related to Ferrari but look at them putting all of that effort into writing a shady comment. Embarrassment. Again, if you're talking about me replying to cultLH or Ferrari fans 'rudely' on twitter, I am sane enough not to start shit when nothing happened and they are not the first one to do so. I'm friends with people who like LH and they're fine as long as they don't insult George or harass him but those fans are up in his ass no matter what he does. Do you seriously not expect me to write a 'fuck you' to them and defend my favorite when it is a human's defense mechanism to defend their preference?

Before you call me obsessed, tell those tifosis who were obsessing on destroying RBR and Merc, commenting on RBR and Merc 24/7, hallucinating about the Newey move, writing unprovoked shady comments about Lando and George and harassing other drivers/engineers/teams to stop first and we'll have a talk. Don't come to the conclusion that hating the corporate management = hating the people involved. I have the biggest respect ever to Fred Vasseur, the engineers and all of the drivers that achieved or those who will achieve their greatness in Ferrari but I do not like the corporate management as it is not up to my preference and I am entitled to my own opinion regarding that. I know my lines. It's not like I b//mbed their account with hatred nor flooded Elkann's linkedin with hate. I dislike, I show those dislikes sometimes but I keep it within a line. Don't fucking talk about obsession if you haven't seen those toxic tifosi and what cultLH did to George. I don't even fucking talk about them on tumblr these days wtf nor would I ever talk about them without those asks which prompt me to voice my POV.

Bonus: If you label "copium 24/7" tweet (which i'm guessing that's the one anon meant because that's the last quote I did to a Ferrari news acc post) as a user georgegraphys haterisms, then you are wrong. That's not even the tip of the iceberg.

[scottfuckingreed]

Love Drug - Jeff Atkins

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@anisiamoisa SAID: ‘I wanted to request a Jeff Atkins imagine where they take the love drug (season two episode 7 I think) with Clay, Hannah, Alex and Sheri. Maybe some smut too’

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Warnings!: Just some cute smutty shit really, and mentions of drug use!

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Sometimes when being around someone, you start to feel exactly how they feel. In this case, being with Clay makes me anxious as hell. He’s walking with his hands twiddling through each other, and he’s made his body look incredibly small. “Are you alright Clay?” I giggle. By the look on his face, I’d say no. “I’m fine,” I look across to Hannah, who was walking the other side of him. She shrugs, which makes me laugh. “It’s okay to be nerv-” “it’s just that we don’t know where these drugs have come from. We could die!” He explodes as we get outside Jeff’s house. “I don’t think Jeff is tryna kill us Clay,” me and Hannah laugh along together. “If you die, at least you can haunt him,” I add, nudging him on the shoulder. “You are NOT helping!”

“There she is!” Jeff woo’s as I walk in. The ‘pointing’ makes me blush massively. Huge arms wrap themselves around my waist, pulling me in as close as he can. About three or four kisses get placed in several places on my face, before turning to Clay and Hannah. “Hey guys, welcome,” he says ‘normally’. “I see how it is; favouritism,” Clay mutters, which makes me laugh too much. “Oh Clay’s jealous!” The grip is removed from me, and I witness his arms wrap around Clay, lifting him up slightly. “Do you want one, Hannah?” He offers once he lets Clay’s feet touch the ground again. “I’m good, but thank you,” Jeff doesn’t care, and gives Hannah a hug anyway. I swear my boy is too pure for this world.

Once Sheri and Alex arrive, we sit in a circle-ish. Hannah sits next to Clay, then Alex, then Sheri, and Jeff sits between my legs. Playing with Jeff’s hair is honestly one of my favourite things. Once again, Clay is twiddling his thumbs. “Clay-” “isn’t sugar and caffeine a kind of high, right?” he blurts out. I watch Hannah out her hand over Clay’s, which makes his eyes widen. Seeing Clay all caught up with Hannah is so cute. He should honestly just go for it. But then again, this is Clay we’re on about. Never gonna happen. “Jenson, would I ever lead you astray?” I lock hands with Jeff, intertwining our fingers tightly together. He raises them. My heart melts more as he places a kiss on each of the backs of my hands. One on each. I smile to myself. He loosens his grip, letting my hand slid away as he stands up. Reaching into his pocket, he takes out a small clear bag with white pills in there. He passes on to each of us, leaving Clay till last. “This peer pressure.” He shakes his head. He takes the pill anyway, but you can see the clear uncertainty in his face. And his voice. And his everything really. “I’m not gonna force you Jenson,” Jeff sits back with me, but hints me to shuffle forwards instead. Once he places himself behind me, I decide this is my chance to take the comfiest seat there is... Jeff Atkins’ lap. “But it’ll be good for you.” In no more - or less - than a ‘three, two, one’, each of us had swallowed our drug. Clay hesitated, as if he was seeing if we were all gonna take it, but he took it nevertheless. And now we wait.

It was a fast turn around this time. I almost felt it as soon as I gulped it down. And now we sit laughing and giggling about shit that isn’t really funny. “You’re friends,” pause, “with Justin Foley.” Jeff cries in laughter to Alex. I’m not sure why it’s funny, but we all laugh along anyway. “He’s an asshole,” Alex shakes his head with a massive smile. “He is...” I look over to Sheri, who you can tell is thinking. “He’s kinda hot though?” I shake my head, which makes Jeff nudge me in the side. “You don’t think Foley’s hot?!” He gasps. I turn to him, locking eyes. I put each hand on either side of his face. Pause. And... “nope.” I say simply. He raises his eyebrows, as if it’s totally unbelievable that I don’t find him attractive. “But, no one compares to you, my love,” I cringily whisper into his ear. I feel his smile widen across his face. I turn to gaze into his eyes, face to face. “You two are disgustingly adorable,” Hannah throws a pillow our way.

We continue to laugh for what seems like a long time, but it’s actually only 10/15 minutes. The drug makes you just feel entirely positive. Like this is where you’re meant to be, right in this moment. I am with the right people in this basement. And I’ve hardly ever hung out with Sheri, or Alex, or Hannah. Clay though, Clay’s around a little bit. I get pulled out of my trance with a poke in my back. Fiercely, I snap my head around to face Jeff. “What are you thinking about?” He whispers, touching my face with his nose. Feeling his breath against my face sends my body in a whole other place. Somehow, even in my high state of mind, I swivel myself a bit too smoothly so I’m facing him. Now I’m straddled against his body. “About how cute your’s and Clay’s friendship is,” giggling, I bury my head into his shoulder. When he moves his hands across my body I feel the enhancement of that happy little pill. They cross from my thighs, to my hips, to waist in one very swift movement. That’s all. And it feels incredible. “He’s obsessed with me,” Clay’s voice sounds distant, although he’s just over 2 metres away. All I’m focussed on is the way Jeff’s hands feel on my body. I just want him close. Closer. “You love me though Jenson,” Jeff turns his head back to mine, and they are instantly practically touching. All I can seem to do is gaze into those beautiful eyes. If I was sober, I’d be cringing at myself. But I love this guy. “What are you thinking about now?” Shivers get sent down my spine by the whispers that flowed into my ear. A small smirk appears and disappears off his face. “You,” I smile, and blush, and try not to go into a giggle mess. “Me?” I bite my lip slightly and nod. “You’re too cute,” he kisses my cheek, then on my jawline, then once on my neck. And that’s all I needed. When our eyes lock once again, and our noses touch ever so slightly, I just can’t take it no more. I’m so in love with this guy. “I think we should-” is all I can say before he hops up, takes my hands, and we start walking upstairs.

Jeff walks into his bedroom first. I follow, pushing my entire body weight onto the door for it to close. It’s not heavy or anything. When I turn I see my beautiful boyfriend sat on the bed. I watch as his eyes scan my body from top to toe. My body sways as I walk towards him, and his gaze doesn’t change. “Stop! You’re making me embarrassed!” I push him on the shoulder. Soft hands embrace my still clothed hips. “You’re so beautiful,” whispering, he guides my body onto his, into a straddling position once again. My index finger goes to his lips, shushing him. The problem with pretty boy over here is he doesn’t shut up. So even when I shush him, he continues being absolutely fucking adorable. “I could look at you all day,” he shrugs. “Oh you could?” I question, pushing his chest down so he’s with his back against the bed. His hands proceed to smooth up and down my thighs as I’m leant over his with my clothes crotch on top of his. When they connect, Jeff’s face looks almost pleasured already. “You’re literally like a work of art,” he leans up to mutter into my ear. Before I can even reply, he rotates us so he’s on top. A kiss gets placed on my cheek. Another on my jawline. And another on my neck. A shockwave of pleasure gets sent through my body as I feel his tongue press against a very nice spot. Jeff knows my body better than I do. My hands go to the back of his neck. And then I realise that this isn’t what I want. Gently lifting his head, our eyes meet once again. Then I attach my lips onto his... finally.

Sometimes foreplay is a bit long. Sometimes it feels a little dirty. Sometimes you just wanna actually have a sensual moment. I wanna make love to my boyfriend. Especially in my cloud 9 state. His tongue glides along mine effortlessly. His hands smoothing from my waist to my hips to my thighs feels better than it ever has. Euphoria x100. In motion, he slips a hand to the front of my jeans, unbuttoning them and throwing them off. I giggle against his lips as they launch onto the floor. In a minuscule moment where his lips aren’t fix onto mine, I tug at the end of his tee. My hands magnetise onto the abs on his stomach with haste. The smile on Jeff’s face grows, but he presses his lips together in attempt to contain it. “What?” I whisper. “That kinda tickles,” my face: crimson.

In another supersonic action, my thong was on the floor. As was his joggers. All that remained between us was his boxers. And within seconds they had vanished too. “I love you,” I kiss him once. “So much,” I add, placing my lips against his in a lengthy kiss. You could hear it scream with passion and desire. Excitement rushed through my body as I finally feel his penis start to go inside me. My mouth widens to inhale a slightly deep breath of air. Having Jeff this close... I just know he’s mine. The pining kiss continued until he was fully inside. Eye to eye, nose to nose, I gaze up to him and smile. I get lost in the moment. This. This is perfection. There’s no place I’d rather be. No person I’d rather be with. This is it. Before anything, he stamps my forehead with a kiss. One, two, three. “You are so enthralling,” I look at him and frown with the biggest smile. “Enthral- what?” When I begin to giggle, he actually begins to blush. “Clay taught me it. It means, like, fascinating,” he explains. Which just makes my heart melt. I stick my bottom lip out in a sad motion. “What?” He nudges his nose against mine. “You’re just so cute,” I pin my lips back against his. Deep feelings of just pining for the godly specimen on top of me oozes through between the connection of our tongues.

My mouth widens as he begins to thrust himself out, and back in. He proceeds to place wet kisses against and around my lips. The heaviness of my breath correlates with the hand sliding up and down my thigh. Every touch sends an unexplainable feeling through my body. It must be the perfect blend of adrenaline, that love hormone and whatever the fuck drug I’m on. But I can’t focus on that. I can’t focus on anything but the fact that I’m in love with this boy. I’m making love to the boy that I love. The way he squeezes my thigh and my waist. I almost completely come undone when he lifts my right leg up slightly. “Fuck,” I moan against his tender lips. My fingers spread through his hair, pulling slightly more at every inch of pleasure pumping through my body. I know that I’m completely under his spell. I like it here.

I wrap my legs around his body more and more. Even though he’s as close as he can get, I’d try anything to get him closer. With every thrust I find myself not only a moaning mess, but falling for a boy that I’ve already fallen hard for. It’s like that excitement you get when you see a boy for the first time. And I don’t know what comes over me, but I flip us around so I end up being on top. My chest: flat against his. All I can do is smile cheekily. The thing with us is, we know each other. So I begin moving up and down on his manhood. Both of his hands go to my waist, guiding me at a steady pace. “Oh my god,” he rolls his eyes back. It’s nice to know I have some sort of hold on him, as back as that probably sounds. “You’re so beautiful,” kisses are placed all over my face, but mainly on my lips. Our tongues dance to the rhythm of our own beat. “Fuck Y/N,” this does it for me. His words send my body over the edge, pushing my insides to climax. As if it was in sync, Jeff reaches his too. I ride out both of our highs.

I throw myself down next to him. “You’re incredible, you know that?” He presses my body close to his. He feels like a dream. Or maybe it’s the very slightly delay of these drugs. Everything is just... more. “I think I just fell in love with you more,” he whisper into my ear. Every breath I cherish. “You’re so fucking cute, you know that?” Is what I find to respond with. I look up to him and see him thinking. The concentration on his face was quite full on. “I don’t think we should go back to the others,” when he turns his head, our eyes immediately lock. “Whyyyyyy?” I cock my leg up onto his abdomen, turning to face him fully. “I just wanna cuddle.” The beautiful Jeff Atkins.

[aestheticritique]

For young men (Part 1)

In my latest lockdown induced depressive episode I have been meeting some new people online. They are all young, male, mostly heterosexual, very nice and extremely considerate. However, they also are often afraid becoming a burden, insecure in their appearance or social skills, and often struggling with mental health. Given this, they are also usually extremely afraid of never finding themselves having sex or getting into a meaningful relationship in the late stage neoliberal capitalist dystopia we find ourselves in. To be honest I didn’t understand them at first, especially their obsession with sex. But the more I am thinking about it, the more I realize that we are united in the same dynamic of seeing sex or love as magic verfication of... What?

Growing up, I used hookups as a way to prove to myself that I am worth something. I thought that my value was defined by men’s desire. I originally in writing this wanted to show my perspective from the other side of the same coin, but after realizing how much of an undertaking that would be, I decided to start with the two most common answers from men used as justification to why they think they won’t get laid. These are things I find will help these kinds of people out, but as a great thinker once said...

“I can’t mom you through this one, boys. You are on your own.” - Contrapoints

(I link songs I like through out btw, the underlined text are links you can click on)

Foreword: Social factors

The average age of first intercourse has been rising in the US. Teenagers have less sex than ever before. These changes will affect you. In teen movies and shows charakters often experiment with sexuality before the age of 18. Everything else is played as an abnormality. If we compare ourselves to this misrepresentation of teenage sexuality, of course we seem like the losers.

“The proportion of young people who have had sexual intercourse increases rapidly as they age through adolescence”. It’s very likely, at least from my view, that you are just going to grow out of the awkward zone of wanting intimacy but not getting it. Just like you grew out of other things, such as bad musical taste or that one gaudy outfit. Don’t stress over this one specifically either.

Adolescence is weird for all of us. Even if your first encounter is after college, let’s be real here: having such a good thing in your own place without your parents looming or having to share your room with a roommate you barely know is so much better anyway.

The Ugly fuck too

A common answer to my question why they think that they will never have sex is that they are “unattractive”. The implication being, that sex is the prize for looking a certain way.

But is it? We are so used to the perfect, porn-ready bodies in the media that we forget that the Ugly fuck too. We never see the foldes of fat and skin, never see acne warriors or moles, never see people who actually look like us.

In the movie “The Parasite”, there is a scene where the husband of Gook Moon-gwang, the former housekeeper, is implied to have sex. (the clip, starts at 3:00) It gave me weird feelings of discomfort, as the illusion so stereotypically found on the silver screen was not present. These two characters are not pretty. They look old. She is fat and he is a balding skeleton. They are not special, and that’s okay.

Being fuckable does not equal beauty. Being fuckable does not equal beauty. It was a terrifying thought initially for someone like me who defined their value over beauty & their beauty as being fuckable. It might also be a scary thought for someone who doesn’t think that they deserve love and intimacy because of their looks. I promise you that you still deserve love! Sex did not cure my problems with my appearance, or the fact that I based my self-esteem on the way I look. It will not make you feel normal. It will not make you feel better, prove your worth or even give you more self esteem in the long term beyond the initial rush of dopamine. It is not a caravan to fulfillment.

Beauty is a concept that is based on exclusion. Allow yourself to feel the pain of being excluded, of not reaching the impossible beauty standards and the disadvantages that come with it. Allow yourself to feel the fear of not being “man enough” and be happy in spite of it.

“Patriarchal masculinity teaches us to control our pain, but it can block us from experiencing the grief that is part of a full life. Chasing pleasure and controlling pain is patriarchal. Opening ourselves up to joy and grief is to be fully human.”

”Those of us in that skinny nerd category are especially prone to thinking that we aren’t “man enough.” [..] But the more I talked to men, the more convinced I became that almost all men at some point in their lives don’t feel man enough. Even the men I thought were the “real men” were scared.

That’s not surprising. Masculinity in patriarchy—that is, masculinity in a system of institutionalized male dominance—trains men to be competitive, in pursuit of conquest, which leads to routine confrontation, with the goal of always being in control of oneself and others. But no matter how intensely competitive one is, no matter how complete the conquest, no matter how many successful confrontations, and no matter how much one stays in control—men are haunted by the fear that they aren’t man enough, that they can never stop proving their masculinity.” - Robert Jensen

Stop comparing your appearance to other men’s. Start talking and bonding with them over your undoubtably shared insecurities rooted in society’s relentless toxic masculinity. Unlearning the things you’ve been indoctrinated into since conception is damn hard. I am still in the middle of it personally, but I promise you it is worth it. It will improve not only your relationships with other men, but also with yourself and that one girl you’re pining after.

There are a ton of resources targeted at women about self acceptance, but not many for men. Robert Jenson comes from a tradition of critical men’s groups. Even though I don’t agree with him on everything, he manages to scare most men (especially the kind I mentioned in the first paragraph) to their core, but also improves their lives drastically with his kindness and radical ideas. I implore you to look him up, and try your best to keep an open mind.

“A person who functions normally in a sick society is themselve sick.”

The other most common answer  to the initial question was “being socially maladjusted”, implying that sex is something you earn by behaving a certain way. It is ingrained in the way we talk about love. “Deserving love” is the best example. Neither love nor sex is a product of work. Love and intimacy are a lot like sleep. It is a slow but unconscious process. You slowly work into it, with no idea of what comes next, and then, after an agonizingly long moment, you’re there. The fall is not often expected or easy, is always exhilarating, but never the product of conformity to anything except comfort with who you are.

I do acknowledge that social settings can be weird, existentially unsettling, and full of unseen complexities. This is especially true if you are neurodivergent and / or struggling with mental health.  Being neurodivergent or struggling with mental health goes against the impossible, hegemonically masculine standard of always being in controll. It’s a common cause behind feelings of emasculation. Disregard that feeling, and remember that you deserve love, no matter how manly you are or are not, no matter how you behave.

Learning social settings are lot like learning to skate. In the beginning you will be covered in bruises, but with enough effort, you will be better at it. The chance of mistakes will get lower, but never zero. You will always have awkward situations, but that doesn’t mean that you are bad at them. It just means that you have room to improve still. Maybe consider getting lessons or joining a skate crew.

We tend to hyperfocus on the accidents. Think about how many nice conversations you had over the internet, text or otherwise. I ask you to value them. Value these positive experiences, value your friendships and acquaintances, value the people supporting you, online and offline. We tend to hyperfocus on meaningfull longterm friendships, just like we hyperfocus on love. Value your social enviroment, value someone who just made you feel ok for a moment. You are socially adapted, because you have a social enviroment you feel comfortable in, where you have relationships with people. The depth of a relationship is not messured by time, nor by physical touch. Being mindful of your feelings for the people around you can make you realize that you are less alone than you thought.

Some Tips

If you want to make friends additionally to that, here are some tips from someone, who is bad at social clues:

Join a group with a common interest or struggle: Book clubs, activist groups, selfhelp groups, they are great settings to meet new people and you already have a topic to talk about :)

If you feel save about it: Being open about your issues can help other people adapt to you and understand you better - especially in early on in relationships.

People sitting at the bar or smoking outside are generally more open for conversation

Don’t be afraid of getting rejected: They don’t reject you, when they reject a conversation with you. The reasons people don’t want to talk to you is very diverse. Stay respectful and polite.

Don’t expect to much: No one owes you a long conversation. A smalltalk is perfectly fine.

Learn to make compliments casually and learn to compliments that aren’t based on appearance.

Find a common ground (politically, a interest ect.) and talk about it

Take a improv class, seriously TAKE A IMPROV CLASS! (there are online ones, and sometimes it’s even free)

Here are some youtube videos by Anna Akana with more tips. (1) conversations, (2) how to be a better friend, (3) overthinking

Here are is a piece about being bad at relationship I liked.

Footnote: Trophies and muses

“We do not want to do the work of helping you to believe in your humanity. We cannot do it anymore. We have always tried. We have been repaid with systematic exploitation and systematic abuse. You are going to have to do this yourselves from now on and you know it.” - Andrea Dowkin

Behind the whole obsession with sex is often a distorted perception of women. Just remind yourself that women are human? Access to female bodies is not a human right. We are not trophies to push your ego. We are not there to inspire you or heal you. We are humans with agency. We desire love and being loved, just like everyone else.

I am tired, but I believe in your humanity...

xoxo,

aestheticritique