#jeonghan is back for a limited time only okay

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

"I'd do anything" (M)

Summary:

Desperate to expunge your squeaky clean record you go to Jeonghan and tell him you’ll do anything if he’ll get you drugs

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Tags: dubcon, bad reputation!Jeonghan, good student!yn, afab yn, anal, bribing, begging, creampie, rough sex, mean!jeonghan, impact!play, safewords made but never used, yn is a virgin, but really just so jeonghan can tease them for it, teasing, virginity is taken very not seriously, multiple orgasms?, fingering, a dash of exhibitionism cause yeah, condescending!jeonghan, this is not realistic okay, *squint* talks of aftercare, drugs are mentioned

But Brie, this isn’t an accurate representation of someone losing their virginity, but brie why is Jeonghan so rough and mean, but brie why can’t you think of any other way to describe someone “getting hot” or “turning red” BECAUSE…. BECAUSE…. SHUT UP OKAY?!

-

You couldn’t help the way that you paced back and forth in front of Jeonghan’s dorm room door, trying to figure out if this was really the move. After all, wasn’t all of this a bit much?

Yes, in elementary school you had preened under the attention of being the good kid. Even in middle school you had enjoyed being what everyone considered to be the teacher’s pet, but when you hit high school… It got old. You were so tired of the way that people would talk to you. The way that they looked down on you because, you actually studied during your free period, and because your teachers trusted you to run errands for them during class.

You weren’t just some good kid who was constantly doing the right thing. You weren’t just interested in studying all the time. You wanted to be invited to parties. You wanted to have friends who you went drinking with.

But your reputation in high school was set. Unwavering. So, you thought you would just wait until college and finally you would be free.

And then college was the same.

You had to do something drastic. You were desperate to get your reputation expunged.

And so that’s why you were here.

“Look at who it is…”

You jumped, your teeth biting into the back of your hand as you screwed your eyes shut, trying to shake the pure fear out of your body at having been caught… Here. By just the person that you were trying to see.

“Ah… Jeonghan!” You said, raising your hand to the back of your neck.

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at you, a few strands of his long dark hair falling in his face. You swallowed hard under his watchful gaze, turning your eyes away from him. That… Was quite the mistake. Suddenly you found yourself pressed up against Jeonghan’s door, his hand pressed by your hand on the door, his other hand on his doorknob. You swallowed hard at having suddenly been pressed up against the wall. Like you were in a fucking anime.

You didn’t really… Know Jeonghan all that well. You knew about as much as everyone did. Rumored to have mafia connections. Quiet… Mostly kept to himself, staying only around a select few.

You hadn’t ever heard of him actually doing anything that really labeled him as a bad boy, but he had the label none-the-less.

Maybe it came from this: His cocky behavior.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Jeonghan asked, a smile flickering across his lips. “Wasn’t expecting our school’s star student coming knocking on the black sheep’s door.”

You swallowed, and you were pretty sure the sound was audible.

“Do you live here?” You asked with a laugh. “I had no clue.”

Jeonghan stared at you. You sucked in another breath.

“I need drugs.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and he pulled back a little. He stared at you for a few seconds, clearly unsure of what to say. Then he pulled all the way back and nudged your shoulder with his.

“Ha.”

You stumbled to the side as Jeonghan opened his dorm room door, and you watched for a few seconds in confusion before realizing that Jeonghan was just going to leave you out in his hallway. You pushed between him and his opening bedroom door.

“I’m serious,” you blurted insistently. “I need drugs.”

“What are you going to do with drugs?” Jeonghan asked you back. “You wouldn’t even know how to use them.”

Frustration strummed through you.

“Yes, I would, you just… Smoke weed or whatever,” you insisted. “And like, you shoot heroin with a needle.”

“You’re asking for heroin?” Jeonghan asked back.

“I’m asking for marijuana!” You blurted back. Even as you spoke Jeonghan was placing the palm of his hand to your mouth. You protested adamantly as he pushed you back into his dorm room. You stumbled upon no longer being pressed against the door and Jeonghan shut his dorm room behind you.

“Marijuana,” Jeonghan said, in a mocking tone. “Is not exactly legal here. It’s not easy to come by. And why do you think that I would be able to get it for you.”

He locked his door with a click.

“Or even want to get it for you.”

“Well…” You trailed off. “I mean…” You had no real reason to think that Jeonghan could get this for you. And you had no bargaining tricks to actually get him to get you the drugs either. Your mind raced as you tried to figure out what you could say. What a good thing to convince him would be.

“I’ll let you fuck me.”

Silence filled the room. Jeonghan’s eyes trailed down your body as you began to burn a deep red. You swallowed hard, wondering what was making you so impulsive. I’ll let you fuck me? What the fuck kind of proposition was that?

His eyes made their way back up your body and he put his hands on his hips, bunching his baggy white shirt up with it. He opened his mouth, surely to reject you.

“Anywhere,” you blurted back instead. “You can fuck me anywhere you want. Men like that right?”

Jeonghan seemed even more thrown off by your words.

“What are you even talking about?”

“Anal.”

Oh my god, you wished you would just shut up.

“You would let me fuck you in the ass?” Jeonghan asked. You couldn’t tell if he was amused or not. You firmly pressed your lips together so that you wouldn’t say anything else stupid. You gave him one curt nod.

Silence fell between you and Jeonghan as he stared you down, but you refused to back down from whatever he was trying to get you to back down from.

Finally, he sighed, looking away from you.

“Why didn’t you just go to Hansol?” He asked you. As he spoke, he guided you over to his bed, pushing you down on it. You watched him with the innocence of… Well, the good kid that everyone always painted you as. You moved your hands to your lap, watching as he walked to the complete opposite end of his dorm. He took a seat on his roommate’s bed, propping his elbows up on his knees. He was… The very definition of man spreading.

You suddenly remembered that he had asked you a question.

“I…” You weren’t really certain of how to answer. Why hadn’t you just gone to Hansol? Everyone on campus knew that Hansol was a stoner and if Hansol was a stoner then he would certainly know where to buy you something.

And Hansol was a really sweet guy. If you were to ask him there would be no question on whether or not he would help you achieve your goal.

“I don’t know Hansol that well,” you finally said. Jeonghan let his head rest on his knuckles.

“And you know me better?” He pressed. Your fingers dug into your pants, your teeth catching the inside of your mouth nervously. “Why do you even want drugs?”

Now that was a question you could answer.

“I’m tired of my reputation.” You blurted. “Tired of everyone talking to me like I’m some innocent kid just because I get good grades and I’m nice to teachers. I’m not perfect, I don’t need to be babied.”

Jeonghan hummed.

“Well, despite your adamancy you are innocent,” he stated. You glared at him, fingers pinching your thighs through your pants.

“I’m not innocent,” you pressed.

“Yes, you are,” Jeonghan argued back, his lips quirking up at the sight of your frustration. “And that’s why you came here. Isn’t it?”

“I came here to ask you to get me drugs,” you said back.

“Well, I won’t get you any,” Jeonghan replied just as evenly. Your eyes widened at the flat-out denial of your request.

“But-!” You stood up without really thinking. “Jeonghan I’ll do anything.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows quirked.

“Seriously! Anything you want Jeonghan. You can do anything you want to me, I’m serious. I’d-”

“Is that not prostitution?” Jeonghan asked. Your mouth dropped open, and once again he had left you stuped.

“What?”

“It just seems like you’re trying to sell your body to me,” Jeonghan pointed out. He pulled himself up a little bit, raising his eyes to make your gaze more even now that you were standing. He leaned back on his hands and his head fell to the side a bit. “In that case you would be bribing me to commit a crime by trying to get me to commit a different crime.”

Your jaw stayed open.

“I just thought-” God, what kind of guy even was Jeonghan? “If you’re not going to do it then just tell me you aren’t going to do it.”

“I already told you I wasn’t going to do it,” Jeonghan replied calmly.

At this point, your heart was racing and your face was burning red. Every part of you wanted to just storm out angrily, and Jeonghan seemed to read that in your eyes.

“What’s wrong angel, did I make you mad?” He asked. “You’re used to getting everything that you want, aren’t you?”

If it was possible your face burned even hotter.

“That’s not true.”

“Then why are you still here?” Jeonghan pressed. He got up to his feet, reminding you of your unfortunate height difference. He walked back over to you and his fingers buried into your hair. He tugged your hair at its roots so that you were forced to look up at him.

You felt your mouth go dry.

“You said you aren’t innocent, but you are and that’s why you really came here today,” Jeonghan said. He once again looked you up and down, a small humming leaving his throat as he stared at you.

“You wanted me to come expunge your record. You wanted to prove to everyone that you truly are in fact no longer innocent. You knew that if you asked Hansol he would let you smoke with him. And you also knew that to get what you want you don’t even have to smoke weed.”

Jeonghan shifted his weight, but he didn’t loosen his grip.

“You could do something as innocent as start smoking cigarettes and people would start to look at you differently. All you have to do to get those is go to the closest gas station.

Jeonghan leaned forward a bit, his face growing closer to yours. He smiled as your eyes flickered down to his lips.

“You want me to take your virginity.”

Your eyes widened.

“I’m not a virgin.”

He laughed.

“No?” He clearly didn’t believe you. “And I suppose I was wrong about everything before too.”

Jeonghan’s head tilted down a little bit and you let your head tilt up a bit too, your brain lost in a haze, thinking that he was going to kiss you. Jeonghan’s lips were so close to yours.

“Got you.”

Your face burned.

“This doesn’t mean I’m a virgin,” you murmured. Jeonghan’s fingers released your hair, and he took a step back from you. You cleared your throat, brushing your fingers through your strands in order to tidy yourself back up again.

“I’m not going to take your virginity,” Jeonghan said pointedly. “Why did you think that I was going to do it anyways?”

“What do you want me to do then?” You asked, finally relinquishing to the idea that you were in fact a virgin. “You want me to go to someone else? Let some other person take my virginity and then come back to you and beg you to buy me drugs.”

Jeonghan’s eyes widened a bit.

“Don’t just ask people to take your virginity,” he blurted. “And just ask Hansol. I’ll call you for him.”

Jeonghan took a few steps away from you in order to get his phone out. He started to mess with it, but you just huffed.

“Well, is there something wrong with me then?” You demanded. “Is that what it is? I’m too innocent to fuck.”

Jeonghan laughed dryly, not looking up at you as he presumably pulled up Hansol’s contact.

“You being too innocent isn’t why I won’t fuck you.”

You snatched his phone out of his hands, forcing him to look at you .

“Then why?” You prodded. Jeonghan shifted his weight, propping one of his hands on his hip.

“Because I’m not going to go easy on you just because it’s your first time. If you taunt me with being able to fuck any hole on you, I’m going to do it. No hesitation.”

“But you are hesitating,” you grumbled. Jeonghan rolled his eyes.

“You don’t want me to?”

You let silence fill the room at his question, which made him smile.

“You’re hesitating,” he pointed out.

“Just fuck me,” you insisted. “Please.”

Jeonghan put a single finger to your forehead and leaned forward.

“Rules.”

Your eyes zeroed in on his finger.

“One: You can’t tell anyone,” he said. “I don’t want people on my ass for being the ‘bad boy’-” He used air quotations. “- who took your virginity.”

Your eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Okay.”

“Two: You’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable with anything that is happening,” he replied firmly. “I may be… Rough but I’m not heartless. It’s your first time if you need me to go… Slower…”

He seemed to be a bit bothered as he said that. You could tell that he was rethinking whether or not he wanted to actually take your virginity.

“Just say something,” he finally said. “Seriously, no shame.”

“It’s not going to bother me,” you protested. “Just cause it’s my first time doesn’t mean that I won’t… Like it.”

Jeonghan’s finger pressed harder into your forehead.

“You don’t know what I’m into,” you said.

Jeonghan hummed and then spoke a word. Your eyebrows furrowed and you repeated it in confusion. Jeonghan rolled his eyes.

“It’s your safe word,” he stated plainly. “I’ll stop if you just say stop, but if that’s uncomfortable to you for some reason-”

“I know what a safe word is,” you interrupted him. Feeling a bit annoyed. “I told you. You don’t know what I’m into.”

Jeonghan didn’t look entirely convinced.

“Three… You have to beg for it and prove you really want it.”

Your face burned under his gaze, not entirely sure what he wanted you to say. Sure, you had read tons of stories about this, and watched a handful of videos where someone had to beg but… To actually have to do it.

“I’m not patient,” Jeonghan mumbled. You swallowed hard and forced yourself to keep your eyes on him.

“Please fuck me,” you mumbled softly. “I want you so badly Jeonghan.”

You thought you sounded a bit robotic, but Jeonghan seemed to like it. His lips quirked up a bit in amusement. Once again, his fingers buried in your hair, and he held you tight, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“Really?” He pressed, wanting more.

“Really,” you agreed. “I’ve… Been thinking about you ever since I first saw you.”

You wished you could say it wasn’t true but Jeonghan was right in his accusations that you had been strategic in the way that you had gone about this whole situation. You had been desperate to get his attention, and you had genuinely thought that you would be able to trick Jeonghan into thinking that you didn’t want it so badly by coming under the guise of I’ll do anything for drugs.

But it seemed that wasn’t the case. He had seen right through you.

“Life isn’t one of your shitty porn videos,” Jeonghan chided you softly. “If you wanted to fuck me… Well angel, you should have just asked.”

Jeonghan tipped his head down a bit more, his nose brushing yours as his lips ghosted yours.

“Last chance to stay pure.”

The tone of his voice told you that he didn’t actually believe that fucking someone made them impure, and still the words sent a shiver through your body. You tilted your chin up, letting your lips brush his. Jeonghan laughed at your weak attempt to initiate the kiss.

“Is it your first kiss too?” He teased you lightly. At this rate he was so close to you that you were confident that he could just feel the redness of your cheeks by your twos close proximity.

You raised both of your hands to Jeonghan’s head.

“Shut up.”

You pulled him close to you, squashing your lips together, but the fact that you actually hadn’t kissed anyone before was pretty evident.

Jeonghan laughed against your lips and pulled away slightly, his fingers burying into your hair again.

“It really is your first kiss,” he said in awe.

“It’s…” You trailed off, face burning. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you,” Jeonghan assured lightly. His hands dropped to your side, and he tugged at the bottom of your shirt. “It’s just amusing… Do you really not care about the importance of your first time?”

He gave you a small kiss, and then pulled your shirt over your head. He gave you another kiss, putting one hand to the small of your back and the other hand to the clasp of your bra.

“Firsts don’t really mean anything,” you mumbled. Jeonghan feigned offense.

“If firsts don’t mean anything does that mean I’m not special?”

You snorted at his faux tone but that didn’t matter at all to him. You hadn’t even realized what he was doing until suddenly your bra had loosened around your chest. Your face burned red, and you suddenly raised your hands to your chest, holding up your bra weakly. Jeonghan snorted at you.

“You know if I’m going to fuck you anywhere than I am going to be seeing you naked right?”

Your face was still bright red.

“That doesn’t mean I’m not going to be a little embarrassed about it,” you mumbled softly. Jeonghan took your wrist with one of his hands, forcing your arm away from your body, letting your bra to lopsidedly fall off your other arm. As he moved your arm he also moved your body, guiding you over to the wall. He didn’t push you against it but he may as well have with how close he was to you. He made sure to toss aside your bra once he had released your arm, and then he took you by your hips, now pressing you into the wall.

“Let’s see what we are working with,” Jeonghan mumbled, and the way that he looked at you made you realize what it was like to be seen as an object. And not in the way that you had seen people describe it on tiktok. No, you knew now what it felt like when one of the characters of your adult fantasy novels said that the male lead looked at them like an object.

Heat rushed through your body so quickly that you were surprised when Jeonghan raised his hand to pinch at one of your nipples and it was rock hard. You resisted the urge to push him away, because you had never been touched by someone like this before, and you were finding the burn of your body intoxicating.

Jeonghan raised his other hand to your breasts, completely cupping the other one, and you raised your hand to your mouth, biting down on your knuckle to keep from making any embarrassing sounds. You tried to watch Jeonghan as he began to fondle with your breasts, but the heat in his eyes that you had only ever seen written before was a bit overwhelming. You found yourself having to turn your head, pressing your hand into your mouth harder as he squeezed and kneaded your breasts.

“No one’s ever touched you like this before either huh?” Jeonghan observed, and when he spoke you realized that he was very close to your neck. As soon as the words were completely out of his mouth, his lips had latched on your neck. You cried out against your hand and shook your head to say no even though he couldn’t see you.

Jeonghan’s head dipped a bit lower after having bit down a few times on your neck. He kissed over your collarbone and then his mouth was gently sucking one of your nipples into his mouth.

You gasped out in surprise and your hands darted to his head, your fingers grabbing at his hair.

“A-Ah, Jeong-”

You felt his lips curve up into a smile and his teeth nipped lightly at your nipple.

“You’re so reactive,” he murmured. “I forgot how loud virgins are.”

“Stop calling me a virgin,” you whined. In response Jeonghan lowered one of his hands, sliding it down your hips. He unbuttoned your pants with a single flick, and slowly pushed his hand into your underwear. Your face burned and your hands tugged at his hair urgently.

“What are yo-” You were interrupted by your own surprised moan as Jeonghan slipped a finger into you. You slammed your hand over your mouth at the sound of your moan.

“Even a virgin would be better than you at handling a finger in their cunt,” he murmured. His head dipped back down, refocusing on your tits. You tugged at his hair with the one hand that wasn’t (poorly) stifling your moans.

“It’s like you’ve never even fingered yourself before,” Jeonghan said, his voice heightened in amusement. His fingers slipped from you, and he pulled away from you. He slipped his finger into his mouth.

“Drop your pants.”

You stared at him; your hands having had to catch yourself on the wall in surprise at the loss of his support. He raised an eyebrow at you as you panted there dumbly.

“Don’t look at me like an idiot, take off your pants.”

You nodded and struggled to get the pants off. Once they were tossed aside awkwardly on the floor Jeonghan sat down in front of you, looking up at you from where he was now cross-legged on the floor.

“Spread your legs,” he mumbled softly. You did so the best that you could while standing against the wall. “Good… Now, I want you to run your hands down your body…”

Your eyebrows furrowed and again- You did the best that you could to slid your hands down, a bit confused on where you were going. Jeonghan rolled his eyes.

“Down to your pussy angel,” he murmured. “But… Don’t touch your clit. Want to watch you finger yourself.”

Your eyebrows rose in surprise.

“I’m not going to-”

“Didn’t you say you would do anything for those drugs?” He asked you. Your lips pressed in frustration. “Or were you just saying that because you wanted me to fuck you? You didn’t think I was going to hold you to that promise? Anything?”

Your body was warm. Did that mean that he was going to do everything you offered…? Did that mean-

“You know a virgin shouldn’t be so excited to do anal,” Jeonghan commented. Before you could argue that he was gesturing at you to move faster.

“Come on, if you can’t even finger yourself why should I fuck you? I can’t teach you everything,” he commented, and there was a disgruntled tone in his voice that made you lightly bang the back of your head against the wall as you finally slid one of your fingers into yourself.

“I know how to finger myself,” you murmured, your voice was a bit airy as you spoke. Your finger was a bit shorter and thinner than Jeonghan’s had been. Just a bit. So, you were a bit frustrated even though he had only been fingering you for a little bit. You slipped a second finger into you, trying to pish your fingers as deep into as you could manage.

“You’re doing such a good job,” Jeonghan praised lightly. “I don’t even know why you came. You don’t need me to get off do you?”

You looked down at Jeonghan, face surely bright red at being watched. Jeonghan tilted his up a bit.

“Why don’t you play with your tits too huh? Give me a bit of a show.”

You opened your mouth to protest cause this wasn’t what you meant when you said anything but even as you were doing that you were raising your free hand to knead and pinch at your breasts. A whine left your mouth at the feeling instead of a sentence of protest towards Jeonghan.

You let your head hit the back of the wall again, and your eyes fluttered shut as you tried to pretend that Jeonghan wasn’t there watching you in his room, fucking yourself against the wall. But… It was all you could remember, that Jeonghan was watching. His little hums of approval vibrating through the room every once in a while.

You pressed a third finger into you, curling your fingers deep inside of you, forcing out a gasp.

“A bit presumptuous with all those fingers, I didn’t even have to tell you.”

A sound of frustration was your only reply.

“Y/n,” he voice came sharp. “Look at me.”

You reluctantly pried your eyes open and looked down at Jeonghan. Your hand fucking your pussy was soaked. You wanted to pretend that it wasn’t because of Jeonghan because experiencing your fantasies wasn’t always supposed to be as good as reading about them, but despite that thought in your head you knew that you had never dripped down your thighs like this at home for fantasies.

“You ever fucked yourself in the ass before?” He asked you, rather bluntly, you thought. You shook your head, biting down on the inside of your cheeks. Jeonghan hummed.

“And yet you offered it up? You probably could even fit a pencil in there, much less your fingers, or my dick,” he commented, and again that way he spoke down to you was such a ridiculous turn on you wanted to scream into your hands. People never spoke down to you. Not your teachers, or other classmates, not even your parents had ever spoken down to you. It was thrilling to be spoken to like this.

“You don’t have to fuck me…” You didn’t want to say it so casually like he was. “There.”

“I don’t,” Jeonghan agreed. “But you want me to, don’t you?”

You shook your head, closing your eyes in embarrassment.

“Did you get ready for me?” He asked you, his voice again heightened in amusement.

You shook your head, but your thoughts turned to the what to do before anal google search you had done before coming here.

You would be joking if you said you hadn’t really been hoping this night would take this turn. You would be just straight lying if you said you hadn’t done most of what the google results had told you.

But to finger yourself there? That was humiliating.

As your thoughts raced, you felt Jeonghan close the distance between you two. He tapped your cheek, and you felt your eyes flutter open. You were staring up at Jeonghan whose face was framed in his hair falling forward from looking down at you.

“You like it when I talk down to you,” he murmured softly. “I bet you’d really like it if I was a bit more physical.”

Again, you wanted to scream but you kept your face as straight as you could keep it.

“You want me to hurt you?” He continued; his voice so airy that you nearly missed the question. You pressed your lips together, and you nodded once. His eyes narrowed. “I need it vocal.”

“Yes.”

You were immediately slapped, hard across your face. You stumbled, grabbing Jeonghan’s arm to keep yourself steady just at the surprise of being hit.

“Say it louder.”

You looked up at Jeonghan, your pupils blown. You had always wondered what it would feel like to be hit by someone. Always fantasized about it, weakly slapping yourself while listening to strangers on reddit’s gonewildaudio’s subreddit degrade you. But that didn’t hold a candle to the way that hit made you feel. Your pussy clamped around nothing, and your fingers dug into Jeonghan’s arm.

“Oh my god yes, please,” you blurted before you could feel shame for your excitement. “Please hurt me, It feels s-so good.”

You wanted to cry, because you needed Jeonghan to touch you more. You needed his fingers inside you. You wanted his cock inside of you.

The excitement was thrumming through your body.  You hadn’t even seen Jeonghan’s cock yet.

Jeonghan forced your chin up.

“You would give a shitty blowjob,” Jeonghan commented as if he could read your mind. “I don’t feel like teaching you how to take cock down your throat properly.”

Jeonghan took you by your shoulder, and walked you over to his desk, bending you forcibly over it. You moaned as your cheek pressed into the cold wood.

“You want me to stop,” he mumbled. “Just use your safeword. I know you’re good at listening.”

“Okay,” you breathed.

Jeonghan’s hand came down on your ass hard, jolting your entire body.

“Let’s see…” He mumbled, ignoring your yelp. He knelt down in front of you, his thumbs coming to your folds and spreading them for him. “Your pussy still looks like it needs a cock in it.”

He sighed as if he was disappointed in you. You let your forehead hit the desk. He pushed two of his fingers into you, and as he did so he was clicking his tongue.

“And you’re dripping like a bitch in heat all over me…” He continued. He pulled his fingers out of you after only a few pumps and ran them through your folds as if to try and gather all of the wetness.

“Let’s see if you’re even wet enough for this…” Jeonghan slid his now soaked fingers up to your asshole, pushing lightly to see if your rim would give. He didn’t try very hard and instead took his head.

“Yeah… You definitely aren’t ready for this,” he mumbled. But as he did, you felt a different one of his fingers dragging through your wetness and then pushing at your asshole. He forced the finger into you, forcing a moan out of you.

“Well, my pinky can fit, so I guess you’re not a completely lost cause,” he murmured. You kicked one of your feet into the ground, fighting the urge to push back on Jeonghan because the burn of just his pinky finger inside of you was absolutely intoxicating. You felt like you were going to explode, you wanted him to do more, you wanted him to put more in you.

“Je-Jeonghan,” you said, but your voice was small and shaky as he eased his pinky in and out of you. “I-I can take more.”

Jeonghan hummed, ignoring you.

“Jeonghan,” you moaned again, shimmying your ass. “I want you to fuck me with more.”

Jeonghan slapped your ass and you lost his finger completely.

“You’re rushing it,” Jeonghan chided. “You really want me to just pull out my dick and start fucking you when you’ve never even fingered your ass before.”

Your face burned so hot you were glad that he couldn’t see. You wondered what it would be like if he did just fuck your ass right there. You wondered how big he was, and how big he would feel with just his tip forcing it’s way past-

Your thoughts were interrupted by Jeonghan beginning to push a bigger finger into you, and you pushed back against it. You were so tight that it was a bit of an effort to try and even get his finger further into you. His other hand gripped at your waist.

“You’re so impatient it’s making me a bit angry,” he warned, and you hoped that he left bruises on your hips from how hard he was holding you. Jeonghan began again, to work his finger in and out of you, but he was taking his time and you were getting impatient. More impatient than before.

Jeonghan began to ease a second finger into you, making you hit your palm against his desk. God, you needed more. You had never come without a vibrator, but right now you felt like you were going to come just on Jeonghan’s fingers alone.

“You were right,” you bit out, hoping he was listening. “I should have asked Hansol to get me drugs. Cause he would already be fucking me by now.”

Your words had the desired affect even though, at first you thought you had really fucked up. Jeonghan left you completely, slapping your ass hard.

“You want it like that?” He asked you. You swallowed hard and just as you were about to apologize you heard a zipper. Moments later you felt something fat and heavy hit your back.

“You want to play that game?” Jeonghan asked. He grabbed you by your hair and pulled you up from the desk. You cried out in surprise as you were flipped around and hiked up onto his desk. Jeonghan let his heavy cock land on your bare pussy and he grabbed you roughly by both sides of your face, dragging you into a rough, possessive kiss. He broke it just when you thought you were going to suffocate.

“What were you going to do if you went to Hansol then?” H asked. “Cause I promise you, Hansol won’t fuck you the way that I’m going to.”

He pulled back wrapping both of his hands to hit your clit with his heavy cock. You jumped at each hit, feeling like you’d get yelled at for grabbing him so instead you grabbed at the edges of Jeonghan’s desk.

“I bet you Hansol would have been so gentle, probably would have talked you through all this shit, praised you for how frankly stupid you are at this,” Jeonghan mumbled. He shook his head and rubbed his bare tip between your slick folds. “But I’m not even going to fuck you with a condom.”

He grabbed the back of your neck, pushing so that your eyes were forced to look down at where his cock was teasing your entrance.

“Because even cheap whores can’t argue with a paying customer. Because they’ll take whatever they get.”

He forced his cock into you all at once, and you screamed at the sudden thrust. You had fucked yourself countless times on dildos that honestly did compare to Jeonghan’s width and length, but you still felt like you had never been fucked by anything before. The base of his cock stretched you so hard that you felt tears begin to trail down your cheeks, but it felt so good that you didn’t want Jeonghan to stop.

Jeonghan moved one of his hands to your shoulder, and the other to your hip so that he could begin to force his fat cock into your pussy that had only just been spread open enough for this to feel pleasant. You were starting to think that you shouldn’t have been so hasty with the anal because at this rate you didn’t think he would fuck your ass at all.

Not that you cared too much. His fingers dug into your shoulders as his groans filled the air, cock twitching everytime it pushed too far in because it drug a yelp out of you everytime and made you clench hard around Jeonghan’s cock. He let his forehead drop forward, against yours, and he shook his head against yours.

“God you’re so stupid you don’t even know how you’re supposed to act during your first time,” Jeonghan mumbled. “You aren’t supposed to want it this rough. You aren’t supposed to talk about other men.”

Jeonghan accentuated his points with his thrusts, and he nudged your nose with his, smashing your lips together again. You tried to keep up with him, but to be completely honest you were pretty much solely moaning against his lips. You couldn’t even respond to anything he was saying you were just nodded when you could, screaming into his mouth with each deep thrust.

Of course, once again, you had that pleasure ripped away from you.

A frustrated sob left your lips, but it was interrupted by a soft kiss from Jeonghan.

“Oh don’t worry angel, we’re just getting started,” he whispered against your lips. You were a bit confused by his words but then he was dragging you off the desk again, bending you back over it, the tip of his cock pressing against your tight asshole.

“You want me to fuck your ass? Then it would be my pleasure.”

He had to hold your hips tightly (both to get himself into you and to stop your wiggles of anticipation). It took a moment (you suspected he was going easy on you), before finally his tip was into you. You both let out matching moans and he weakly bent over your body, burying his face in the back of your neck.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, you are so tight,” he blabbered nonsensically. He pushed further into you, and the burn and stretch of his cock in your ass felt so good that you had to push your fist into your mouth, biting down hard on it to keep from screaming too loud.

“You’re such a slut y/n,” Jeonghan babbled as he pushed into you. “Good kids like you shouldn’t act like this. Good kids like you shouldn’t let bad guys like me fuck you. We don’t treat you right.”

You whined into your fist, shaking your head to shake off his words. This felt too good. Your pussy was clamping on air, dripping all over his desk and on your thighs. Jeonghan held you still until he had finally pushed all the way into you, his head raising so that he could thread his fingers back into your hair.

“Such a bad little slut,” he mumbled, and then he began to pull out. At first his thrusts were slow, because you were so tight there was nothing else that he could do. But as he continued, he grabbed at your other wrist, and trapped it behind your back so that he could hear you.

You were a mess of tears, and pleasure, the burn of his cock as he began to fuck you hard and fast and your moans could probably be heard by the entire floor.

“God, you feel so fucking good,” he mumbled against your skin, his teeth bit down on the back of your neck. “I like this so much… Did you think of the consequences to your actions before doing this? Coming here? Asking me to fuck you?”

You shook your head silently, and it wasn’t enough for him, his other hand circled around your body and his fingers pressed to your down to your pussy.

 You sobbed out in complete and utter pleasure.

“Do you know what I’m going to do to you?” He asked you as suddenly his fingers pressed into your pussy, three fingers filling you up so full that for a second you forgot how to breathe.

“I’m going to cum in your fucking ass and watch it drip out of your ass and into your pretty little pussy how do you like that?”

You nodded, and finally were able to find the words.

“Yes Jeonghan please, I need that so badly, want you to cum in my ass, please please-“

As you begged you started to feel something warm spurt deep in your ass. Your forehead hit the desk, as you sobbed in pleasure, feeling an orgasm rip through so powerful that your vision briefly blurred, your entire body shaking.

It wasn’t until he finally, stopped thrusting, his cock still buried deep in your ass that you even realized what a mess you were making of his desk. You were crying, you knew that for sure, and suddenly Jeonghan pulled you up by the strands of your hair.

“How does that feel angel? Do you feel good?” He asked you, his tone again condescending.

“G-good,” you admitted shamelessly. “Th-Than-nk you.”

Jeonghan hummed and pushed you back into the desk. He slipped his cock out of your now used ass, and then plugged it with three of his fingers. His hand left your hair, and you felt his cock head tease at the entrance of your pussy.

“Clearly, I haven’t taught you a good enough lesson. You aren’t supposed to like this. You are pure, the perfect kid on campus.”

He pushed his cock into your pussy in one full push.

“Oh god-”

“Don’t you want to protect your image?” He asked you. “You really want everyone to know that Yoon Jeonghan fucked both of your sloppy holes and left cum in them?”

Excitement thrummed your body.

“Y-Yes.”

You wished you could say that you were thinking about using the safe word he had provided you earlier but you didn’t care about that at all. You were sobbing just from the pleasure of it all. So excited at the prospect of having your pussy full of cum. You had always wondered what that was like. You already loved the feeling of Jeonghan’s cum in your ass. The feeling of his fingers keeping it plugged up.

He didn’t have to fuck you long before you were coming on his cock.

And that dragged him over the edge as well.

The warm spurts of cum in your pussy were completely different from the toys you had played with to try and simulate this feeling before.

As soon as Jeonghan finished filling your pussy with his cum he took a step back, his warmth leaving your body.

Both of your whole felt empty, your clit desperate for attention despite having come just from Jeonghan’s cock already.

You moaned as you felt his cum beginning to drip out of your ass and down to your pussy, which was also dripping cum, presumably onto Jeonghan’s floor.

“You look so pathetic,” Jeonghan said, that condescending tone still there. “A virgin fucked to tears and yet somehow you seem so grateful.”

He sighed and then his hands were soothing over the small of your back. You preened into his touch, steady breaths leaving your lips as he guided you up. Your body was still shaking a bit so when he turned you around all he did was wrap his arms around your body, pressing your back to the desk as he hugged you tightly.

He stood there completely silent for a few minutes, making sure not to say anything. After a while, your head drooped tiredly onto his shoulder and he sighed, pressing a small kiss to the side of your neck.

“How’re you feeling?” He asked you softly. You felt a bit embarrassed that he was reassuring you.

“I feel fine,” you mumbled. “Like I’ll be a bit sore tomorrow…”

His cum dripped down your thighs.

“But isn’t that what everyone’s first is like?”

Jeonghan eased you back by your shoulders so that you could see him.

“I thought firsts didn’t matter?” He asked. Your face began to burn red again.

“They don’t…” You murmured, a smile crossing your face. “But it was a pretty good first.”

You were tired, but excitement still strummed through your body.

“Yeah, my first time I was slapped, fucked over a desk, and he came in both my ass and my pussy,” you said as if you were telling the story to someone. “Oh and it was an infamous bad boy who did it.”

Jeonghan laughed at your words.

“We have a communal bathroom,” he said. “But I’ll sneak you into the boys one so you can get clean in peace. I’ll help you shower.”

“Oh aftercare,” you teased lightly. Jeonghan gave you a somewhat amused look.

“How come you were so embarrassed to ask me to fuck you that you came under the guise of needing drugs, but now you are smiling and laughing while your cunt and your ass drip my cum.”

He made a good point.

“Dream come true…” You murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. Then after a few moments: “Wait does that mean you’re not going to get me drugs?”

“No,” Jeonghan said with a laugh. “I told you to go to Hansol if you wanted to smoke some weed.”

You gaped at him, but he just pushed you back by your forehead a bit while he rummaged through his things to get some clothes.

“Hey Hansol, I need some weed,” you mumbled. “Don’t worry you can fuck me any-“

Jeonghan was back on you in an instant, his fingers digging into your shoulder, just by your collarbone.

“Don’t offer random people to fuck your ass.”

His gaze on you was a bit scary… Unwavering. You pressed your lips together and nodded once.

“You shouldn’t let people fuck you without a condom either,” he continued, sounding a bit unamused. “Or cum in your ass. If you’re going to be a slut, you could get something… You should just fuck one person.”

A beat passed as you realized what he was saying. Your pressed look turned into a smile.

“You mean-”

“Don’t overthink it,” he grumbled. “I’m going to get so much shit if it gets out that I took your virginity so just… Keep everything on the down low, okay?”

You nodded excitedly.

“Yeah. DL, I got it.”

Jeonghan looked at you like he didn’t quite believe you.

“Promise!”

Finally, he relented and handed you a t-shirt.

“But no drugs,” he mumbled. “You don’t need to start doing that shit. I’m not going to fuck you if you smell like weed all the time.”

“Got it!” You agreed. “No drugs.”

Jeonghan sighed and shook his head at your eagerness.

“And you’re staying the night. Can’t have you walking home after this or anything.”

Again, the idea was a bit exciting.

“Virginity taken and a sleep ov-”

Jeonghan shoved the shirt you hadn’t yet taken in your face with a sigh as he realized that fucking you, wasn’t going to be like fucking most people.

“Come on, you’re dripping cum all over the floor.”

You pulled the shirt out of your face enough to smile at him.

“Thank you Jeonghan.”

He sighed.

“You did good y/n, you did really good.”

And then he helped you get his shirt on and get you to the bathroom.

Taglist: @vintageot5, @woo8hao, @toruro, @wonudazed, @kkakkameori

[hoshifighting]

seventeen members using the safe word/asking to stop

— WARNINGS: smut, overwhelming, safeword.

seungcheol’s the type to push his limits just to prove something—to himself, to you. he loves the power, the dominance. but tonight, something’s different. it’s the way your nails dig into his back, your teeth grazing his neck, the way you’ve taken control this time. he's breathing hard, sweat dripping down his temples, and for once, he’s not sure he can keep up. you’re pushing him further, teasing, taunting, and he’s at the edge. then you hear it, breathless and shaky: it’s a phrase you both agreed on. it’s his way of saying he’s reached his limit, that he needs you to stop. it’s rare—seungcheol rarely backs down—but when he does, you know he’s serious. he’s not angry, just… overwhelmed. after he just wants to feel close to you, to remind himself that he’s safe, that you’re there for him. it’s a side of him not everyone gets to see, but you do—and that’s what makes it special.

jeonghan breathes out the word, falling from his lips like a prayer. it’s not loud, almost like he’s embarrassed to admit it, but you catch it. you know the moment he says it, he’s serious. jeonghan likes to push limits, but when he asks for mercy, it means he’s at his breaking point. you pull back, easing the pressure, and you can see the relief in his eyes. after that, he’d want you to cuddle up to him, stroke his hair, tell him how good he was. he thrives on your praise, your affection. that’s what he craves after using the safe word.

joshua when you’re feeling a bit more daring, pushing him a little further than usual. he’s tries to keep up, tries to match your pace, but you can tell it’s getting to be too much. his hands grip your hips, his breath coming in short gasps. he’s holding on, but just barely. you push him a little more, just to see how far he can go. and then, he says it. a signal that he needs you to slow down. joshua’s not one to use the safe word often—he’s got a high tolerance for pleasure, for pain, but when he does, it’s because he’s genuinely reached his limit. you stop immediately, your movements softening. his eyes flutter open, and there’s a small, grateful smile on his lips. he’s still a bit dazed, but you can tell he’s thankful you listened. after using the safe word, he’d want you to whisper sweet nothings in his ear.

junhui’s got this quiet strength about him, always calm. but there’s a point where even he can’t keep going, it’s in the middle of everything when he suddenly stiffens, his breath catching as he says the safe word. it’s not a word he uses lightly, and you can tell he’s been holding on as long as he could. he feels a wave of guilt, like he’s somehow weak for not being able to push through, but all he really wants is to feel safe, to know that you won’t judge him for needing a break. whants u to tell him that it’s okay, that you’re proud of him for knowing his limits.

hoshi sometimes, in the middle of everything—when you’ve got him on his back, thighs trembling, and his breath’s caught somewhere between a gasp and a moan—he’ll feel that edge creeping up on him. the pleasure starts to blur with something else, something overwhelming. that’s when he squeezes your wrist, voice strained and breathy as he says the safeword with a broken “please” it takes a lot for him to get there, to use it—he’s stubborn like that, always wanting to push through. but when he does, he needs you to ground him. he’d want you to slow down, whisper something soothing, until he’s back to himself.

wonwoo doesn't think that the safeword is = stop. he’ll murmur it, almost too quietly, wanting you only to slow down, not to stop. but sometimes you to pull back immediately, so he tells you to keep going, and you know you need to go calmly this time. he likes it when you switch gears, turning those intense moments into something slow, gentle. you can keep doing your think, but this time maybe holding his wide shoulders, running your fingers through his hair, it makes the tension drains out of him.

woozi’s got this focus that’s almost laser-like when you’re together. he feels all of the details, and sensations very easily. but sometimes, that sensations builds and builds, until it’s too much—like he’s being suffocated by his own drive. it’s subtle at first—the way his moans fades, how his responses get shorter. then, he whispers the safe word, almost like he’s embarrassed to admit he’s reached his limit, “red.” he hates feeling like he can’t handle it, like he’s somehow let you down, and the guilt gnaws at him. would like your fingers intertwined as he breathes through it. he’s not biiiiig on words, but that type of closeness helps him feel like he’s in control again.

minghao’s deeply in tune with himself, knowing exactly when that edge is coming up too fast. when it does, when he feels like he’s about to tip over, he’ll say, “no no no, i need a break baby,” his voice steady, but with an underlying tension. minghao’s not afraid to admit when it’s too much. once he uses it, he needs you to bring things back to earth, grounding him in the present. he likes it when you talk him down, your voice low and soothing, as you both come down from the high. maybe you’d sit together in silence, his head on your shoulder, as the storm inside him calms.

mingyu likes the control, thrives on it, but tonight something's off. maybe it's the stress he’s been under or the fact that his mind's been elsewhere. you can feel it in the way his grip tightens a bit too hard, his movements a bit too rough. when he finally chokes out the safe word, it's more like a plea than a command, “stop.” he’s breathing heavy, almost panicked, and it hits you that he’s been holding back for your sake. his tolerance is high, too high maybe, and he feels guilty—guilty that he let it go this far, guilty that he’s the one who had to stop it. he won’t say it, but what he needs now is to just hold you, to feel your warmth against him without the pressure of being the strongest one. like you because you don’t push him for answers; instead, you let him pull you close, wrapping yourself around him until his breathing steadies.

seokmin its like a window for you, you can see through him, you can see the exhaustion in his eyes, or when his mind its perturbed, the way his movements become slower, less sure. he’s trying to keep up, but there’s a moment when he finally says the safe word, and it’s almost like a weight lifted off his shoulders, but the shame quickly follows, like he should have been able to go further. but what he really wants is just to be with you, wants you to look at him with your concerned eyes, and kiss all of the pressure from him.

seungkwan always tries to give you what he thinks you want. so he holds back, not wanting to disappoint you. when he finally uses the safe word, it’s soft, almost like he’s afraid of it, “yellow.” he feels like he’s failed somehow, that he should have been able to keep going, and the regret is immediate. but more than anything, he needs your comfort, for you to show him that you still love him just as much, even when “he can’t be everything you need”. you take his hand, squeezing it gently, and spend the rest of the night reminding him of just how much he means to you, but what really grounds him, is to know that you love him endlessly.

vernon is another one who has a high tolerance, enjoying the slow build-up, the way you push him just enough to keep things interesting. but every once in a while, it catches up to him—his mind starts to spin, and everything feels like it’s moving too fast. that’s when he’ll quietly murmur for you to stop, almost like he’s in a trance. it’s not often he gets to that point, but when he does, he needs you to slow things down, to help him find his center again. vernon would want you to be gentle, maybe with some soft touches but not tight hugs/holds, something light, is what brings him back.

chan’s the type to keep his feelings close to his chest, rarely letting anyone see when he’s struggling. but now, he’s not as sure of himself as usual, and he hates when he’s not feeling confident during sex. when he finally says the safe word, it’s almost a relief, “blue.” his voice small. and it’s a rare admission from him, and you know he feels guilty, like he should’ve been able to handle more. he needs you to be patient with him, maybe help him stretch his arms would help him, a wet sloppy kiss, and he’s back to himself, ready to take on the world again.

[hannieehaee]

Can you please make a seventeen reaction if a saesang hurt their s/o? lysm btw💙

a sasaeng hurting their s/o

content: mentions of an ambiguous attack on the reader (u can assume it was something like pulling at reader's arm/hair or a simple slap/punch), anger from the members, angst, fluff (kinda??), etc.

wc: 829

a/n: ily <33 i was kinda conflicted on this bc im not sure whether theyd react in an idol fashion in which they just kind of let their managers handle it or if theyd handle it themselves so i went for a mixture

masterlist

seungcheol -

he's super protective over his members, which also translates over to all his loved ones. i think he would get immediately exasperated and get all up on whoever dared hurt you, fan or not. if things got physical, he'd get physical too. however, he'd try to keep things civilized.

jeonghan -

he'd let his managers handle the sasaeng, knowing that despite how much he'd like to protect you on his own, head on, he had a lot of limitations as an idol. he'd feel extremely guilty about it and would beat himself up over it for a while. would do everything he could to make you feel protected and taken care of (even more than he already did) from then on.

joshua -

he'd be unfiltered in his arguing and his anger towards the aggressor. he wouldnt get aggressive or anything, but the venom in his eyes would be enough for a person to drop dead. would go as far as try to get the authorities involved right in that moment, promising that he'd be pressing charges on your behalf. when it came to you, he'd need you to calm him down lol.

jun -

he's so used to being mobbed and to people injuring themselves due to this that he wouldn't even be surprised at this happening. this wouldnt mean that he wouldn't be insanely angry though lmao. he'd curse them out in chinese and start a whole scene if necessary. this person was not going to leave this situation unscathed.

soonyoung -

his emotions usually take over him very easily and i believe in such an instance anger would show clearly in his demeanor. he'd protectively hold you behind him as he cursed and antagonized the sasaeng while his managers attempted to alleviate the situation. there would be anger in his eyes that you'd never seen before, but it'd turn into worry and regret as soon as he met your eyes.

wonwoo -

usually when he's being crowded or fans are too close, his body language seems closed off and unwelcoming to all the unwarranted attention, but in this instance i think his fight or flight mode would activate, making him physically place himself between you and the aggressor. rare instance in which anyone would see wonwoo genuinely angry.

jihoon -

he'd be too shocked to react, only realizing what had happened after the fact. kinda out of character, but i think he'd have to be held back from taking matters into his own hands. would be furious at the blatant disrespect to both you and him. how could a fan ever lay hand on you? he'd remain disappointed in his fandom for a while, keeping himself (and you) away from the limelight for a short period of time.

seokmin -

for once in his life, the only emotion taking over him was pure unfiltered anger. BUT he would 100% prioritize checking in on you and keeping his hands and eyes on you to make sure you were okay. would let his managers take care of the situation and simply stare down the perpetrator with venom in his eyes. would be extremely apologetic to you afterwards and express guilt over and over.

mingyu -

he's shown many times before he's not afraid to tell fans to mind their boundaries before, so i think that in a serious situation in which you were being put in danger, he'd become extremely serious to a scary extent. he would not get physical or anything like that, but he'd use his words and stance to intimidate the crazed fan.

minghao -

extremely serious and put off. the moment someone laid hands on you, his body would take control of itself and put himself between you and any danger. he'd yell and curse at whoever dared cross such a boundary and disrespect both you and him in such a way. he'd hold certain disdain for fans crossing boundaries from then on.

seungkwan -

he's too polite and media trained to actually participate in the altercation, but anyone could see the genuine anger trying to filter out of him as he and his body guards tried to deal with the situation. his first priority would be you and making sure you weren't too hurt.

vernon -

he wouldve been too shocked in the moment to do anything, but as soon as the short-lived attack ended and his managers were already apprehending the perpetrator, he'd scoff and curse at whoever hurt you. there would be this unknown craze in his eyes indicating uncharacteristic anger that could only ever be provoked by such a situation.

chan -

insanely angry and frustrated at the situation. in an ideal world, he'd take care of this situation on his own, proving to you that he'd never let anyone hurt you. however, he knew that the appropriate thing to do would be to let his managers apprehend the aggressor while he checked in on you and made sure you were okay and as far away from the situation as possible.

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Dark - Y.JH

🌲Who: Gender-neutral reader x Jeonghan 🌲What: Horror. Human reader. Monster Jeonghan. 🌲Wordcount: 3.2k 🌲Warnings: Mental manipulation/control. Some blood and injury. Gradual loss of humanity. Biting. I truly do not know how to tag/warn this but basically, Jeonghan is some kind of eldritch horror who wants reader and morals do not exist for him 

Summary: There’s something watching you. It feels old, feels evil, feels dark. You can feel its eyes on you when you pass the woods to get home.  It feels hungry.

-2024 Masterlist-

AN- @ourdawnishotterthanourday , thank you for reading through this for me, little one 💗

Edit 8/9/24; bonus artwork by the lovely @monamipencil ! thank you so much for making this, sweetheart, it was such a lovely surprise! 🥺

It’s dark. The kind of dark that isn’t just seen but felt. The kind of dark that seeps into your skin, wraps its cold fingers around your veins and travels through your veins. The kind of dark that makes a home of the deepest corners within you and steals the warmth from your soul. The kind of dark that hardens your heart and refuses to let go.

It’s dark and you don’t know if you can find the light again.

You’re the last to leave. Again. It doesn’t surprise anyone anymore. You’ve been leaving later and later with every passing week.

The sun had set long ago by the time you leave work and start the walk home. 

A walk that you shouldn’t really take. The way is dimly lit, the neighbourhood too old for modern security cameras to be commonplace.

It’s dark and not safe. You know this. You had been scared about this when you moved here all those months back. Back when you used to get lifts home from colleagues who worried for your safety too. Back before you lied about being okay to walk home alone.

Something changed. You don’t know what it is, but something in you isn’t the same as it was then. You don’t know if you miss it. 

It’s dark and you’re walking home the same route you take every night after work. Far too late into the night. 

A cool breeze flutters your hair, presses against your back urging you onwards. Closer to home. Closer to the darkness waiting for you. 

An empty house, no one to come home to. No one to wait up and scold you for being so late and reckless, yet relieved to see you home safe. No life within the walls until you return. No one. Just the dark.

It’s a calm night. Like the world has decided to take a break and let the nightcrawlers go about their business with nothing to disturb them. It’s nice. Soothing almost.

You take a deep breath, let the night air chill your lungs, send prickles over the back of your neck. 

You almost pause as you realise the shiver running its fingers up your spine isn’t from the lungful of cool air. But you don’t dare.

You know something is watching you. Something is always watching you as you pass the opening to the deep old woods near your home. The only companion you know on these nights. 

It used to scare you; cause your heart to race and your lungs to shudder in your chest, expand and deflate erratically and leave no room for anything else. But now. Now there’s something else in your chest, spreading and winding around every inch of you, filling all the gaps and limiting how your lungs expand, forcing them to behave. 

It used to scare you; it doesn’t any more.

Still, you don’t dare slow, you don’t dare look because you know with everything in you, you know that the moment you show weakness, show interest, whatever is lurking in the dark will be upon you and you will be helpless to stop it.

It’s dark and cold and…soft. The world is cold around you, burrowing under your skin and spilling ice into your heart, but there is softness underfoot. It’s a little damp and something small tickles over your bare skin, but it’s soft underfoot. 

It’s soft and it’s not as bad as you thought it would be.

When you open your eyes on a new day, the curtains are pulled open allowing the morning sun to stream into your bedroom. You remember closing them last night before climbing into bed. You remember locking the window securely. 

There’s a gentle breeze against your face, birdsong reaching your ears. 

You’re not surprised to find the window open when you look over.

“Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” One of your co-workers, a friendly young man who seems to light up any room he enters checks, even as others call for him to hurry. 

“I’m sure, I’m not much of a drinker,” you assure, smiling at him in a way that you hope is assuring. Really, you just want him to leave. You used to like him, when you first met you thought he was the kind of man you would love to have by your side in any capacity, but especially as a romantic partner. But now. Now his sunshine hurts your eyes and makes the fire burn cold at the back of your neck.

“Okay,” he agrees, though he looks disappointed and very bad at hiding it. You pretend not to notice and turn your focus back to your work, tilting your head down in a clear sign of dismissal. 

“Come on, Seokmin!” One of your colleagues yells.

“Alright!” He calls back yet hovers a moment longer before abruptly grabbing a pen from the pot and leaning over to take your left hand and scrawl numbers down on your skin. “If you change your mind, here’s my number, I’ll keep my phone on loud. Or if you want someone to walk you home, I’m happy to! It scares me thinking about you walking-” 

“There are post-it notes right there,” you comment, looking between his phone number written hastily against your skin and the little stack of bright yellow squares of paper. They’re impossible to miss. 

“Oh, right, sorry.” He quickly puts the pen down and backs up with an embarrassed, apologetic smile when you raise your eyes to look at him. “I just-” 

“Seokmin!” The loudest of the group almost screeches impatiently, making Seokmin jolt and look at them. “Flirt on company time, not mine!” 

“I’m not flirting!” Seokmin shrieks, whirling around to look at you with wide eyes of alarm. “I-I’m not flirting!” 

“You should go because they drag you,” you suggest, raising an amused eyebrow. 

Seokmin opens his mouth to respond yet just closes it again and nods rapidly before turning and rushing off, zipping his coat as he goes. 

You hear him whispering madly, sternly to his friends when he reaches them but you don’t care to discern the words. You’re already looking at the numbers on your hand and wondering if he purposely picked the permanent marker to stain your skin with.

It’s dark, and cold, and soft, and you’re not alone. The ground is still damp and soft under your bare feet, the gentle breeze cool against your skin and you can’t see. But there’s something against your left hand that feels almost tender. 

A touch. An icy finger tracing over your skin. Admiring.

Until it’s not. 

The gentle touch turns sharp, a piercing burn in a purposeful line across your skin. Warmth spills out, trickling over your skin, dripping off your fingers to the soft ground you stand on. 

Your breath catches as your lips press together firmly. You want to cry out, but there is something telling you not to open your mouth. You can’t let the dark spill onto your tongue and slip down your throat. 

There’s a sound, something you don’t understand. Something that rattles the very core of you, something indescribable even if you were to try. But it feels old, it feels powerful. And it’s talking to you.

You don’t know what it’s saying but it’s talking to you, voice vibrating in your bones for only a few seconds yet it feels like those few seconds have changed you irreversibly. 

Something wet touches your hand. The icy touch of slender fingers hold your palm, leading it closer to the soft wetness. It’s almost warm, but not quite. 

The cool wet traces over the warm trails that spilled your hand. 

A tongue. Whatever is with you is tracing its tongue over the trail of your spilled blood. 

There’s a sound, it sounds pleased. 

The tongue passes over the back of your hand. It burns.

You want to cry out.

You keep your mouth shut.

“What happened?” One of your colleagues asks, eyeing the bandage wrapped around your left hand as you take your mug from the coffee machine. 

“Just wasn’t paying attention,” you reply with a lighthearted little laugh and shrug. She accepts your words just like that and starts to prattle on about something as she puts her mug where yours was moments before and places a fresh pod into the machine. 

Your gaze slides to the white gauze hiding the raised line of a fresh wound on your hand, cutting straight through the stained ink you couldn’t scrub off before bed.

“Did you hear?” Another colleague walks in, his hands holding his oversized empty mug ready to refill, and his eyes are wide.

“Be more specific, Seungkwan, you catch so much gossip it’s impossible to know what you’re talking about at any given time,” the woman on your right scoffs, rolling her eyes but her lips are turned up a little in amusement. 

You glance at her and suddenly wonder why you don’t know her name. Have you ever known it? Surely. You must’ve. But you can’t for the life of you remember what it is. 

You look at Seungkwan as he moves closer and you realise that you had forgotten his name until the woman spoke it. You wonder what else you’ve forgotten lately; you get the feeling it’s a lot. Yet you find that you don’t care, not really. It’s all meaningless.

“You know how Seokmin didn’t turn up today, right?” Seungkwan whispers as he leans closer to yourself and the nameless woman. 

You didn’t ask to be included in this and you almost walk away, but he’s half blocking you in and you don’t really want to go back to your desk and stare at a screen that hurts your eyes even with the brightness turned down. So you remain and just watch the conversation happen as you sip your drink.

“Hungover, he went out with Mingyu and Soonyoung last night and you know how those three get,” the woman muses, plucking her mug from the machine and turning to lean back against the counter and leave space for Seungkwan to access the machine if he wants to. But he doesn’t and continues to clutch his empty mug with wide eyes.

“We all thought that too but he didn’t answer anyone’s texts or calls and you know he’s too nice to do that.” The woman hums in agreement. You don’t have any input yourself but nod a little when Seungkwan looks at you. 

It seems right for Seokmin’s character at least, to never intentionally avoid others like that. He always seems too…warm. 

Your nose turns up a little at the thought of that warmth. You used to like it. But now. Now even the thought feels suffocating.

“Exactly,” Seungkwan continues, entirely missing your unimpressed turn of expression. “So Mingyu went around there on lunch break to check on him and he’s not there.” 

“What?” 

“Seokmin isn’t there.” 

“Then where is he?” 

“Nobody knows. They’re trying to find out. It’s not like Seokmin to do this. They’re worried something happened to him.” 

It’s dark, and cold, and soft underfoot and you’re not alone. It’s dark and there’s a cold trail of a gentle touch over your cheek. 

There’s that sound, that noise you know means that whatever is with you is talking to you. You don’t understand, but you think you’re starting to.

It’s dark and you’re not alone anymore. You’re not sure you ever were. 

There’s a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, a hamper of unwashed clothes in the bathroom. None of it matters. It’s all meaningless.

You’re waiting. Though you’re not sure what for. 

But you think you’re starting to understand. Every morning you wake with a breeze on your skin and you think you understand more. 

You feel it in you. 

Whatever it is, it’s almost ready.

A gasp of your name makes you look up from the display of apples before you. You know the approaching man, he’s familiar. You work with him.

He gets closer, plastic disposable coffee cup in hand and he’s already talking away, gossiping. You lift your eyes from his cup and to his face. He always has a cup. You know that. But you don’t know his name. It doesn’t matter. 

“It’s so sad, isn’t it?” The man finishes, frowning at you as if he truly is upset by whatever he had just said to you. You blink at him, not sure what was said but willing to agree to be left in peace already. “About Seokmin?” 

You don’t know who Seokmin is. You think you should know, but you don’t. You don’t care either. 

“Were you listening?” He frowns further and reaches out towards you. You take a step back out of his reach before his palm can touch your forehead. “Are you okay? You look pale, you feel cold.” 

“I’m fine,” you assure. It’s the truth. You are fine. He’s the one emanating a disturbing amount of warmth. 

“You’ve been strange lately. Not yourself.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Right.” Genuine concern twists his mouth as he curls his hand back around his cup. “You should text Seokmin, let him know that you’re thinking about him, it’ll cheer him up.” 

“I have groceries to buy,” you point out. He opens his mouth to say something but you’re already turning and walking away with your basket in hand. 

Those apples didn’t seem fresh enough to you anyway.

There’s a man standing on the path as you walk home, a grocery bag swinging from your hand and guided by the gentle moonlight. He’s not moving, just standing, staring into the dark of the woods transfixed. 

You know better than that. 

As you near the man-shaped obstacle in the path you make an attempt to give him a wide berth but suddenly he turns to face you with wide eyes void of any light. You recognise him, even without his normal warmth. 

“Come for a walk with me,” he speaks to you in a voice layered with sounds you can’t describe. Though there is his natural voice and another one there, one you don’t know by ear but you know it. Whatever is in your chest knows it. 

You almost falter in your steps but remain steady. You ignore him and walk around his form to continue on your walk.

“You can’t avoid it forever. He’s waiting for you,” he calls after you.

“Go home, Seokmin!” you reply yet don’t look back. 

You don’t see him take a step off of the path. You don’t see him slink off into the woods, drawn by something that has its cold fingers too deep in his chest for him to ever be free of again.

It’s dark, until it isn’t. No light comes yet shapes start to form in front of your eyes. Pale thin fingers reaching for you, tipped with short pointed nails. The sharpness of which you have proof of under the bandage on your hand.

A gentle caress on your cheek.

A blink of your eyes and a face appears. Or perhaps it was always there. You just didn’t see it before. 

It looks human, yet doesn’t. Too beautiful, too ghastly. A contradiction you are unable to remove your gaze from. You don’t want to remove your gaze from.

Dark wisps of hair fall over an even darker eye as its head tilts a little. To the left then to the right. 

Pretty lips stained red stretch wide, too wide. Sharp teeth put on display. Too many teeth. But so pretty. Dangerous. And beautiful. 

It’s smiling, eyes swirling with twisted pleasure as it stares at you, a cold, gentle thumb rubbing a tender pattern against your cheek. The smile grows as you tilt ever so slightly into the touch.

Teeth rescind before your eyes. They remain sharp yet fewer appear and are smaller than before. Leaving space for sounds to slip through. You catch sight of a pale tongue moving within its mouth as it forms sounds. Words. 

But you don’t understand. You don’t know the ancient language it speaks. 

Yet.

A soft touch to your bottom lip and your mouth falls open at the request of this horrifyingly beautiful creature before you. 

It smiles widely, pleased by your willing obedience as darkness spills onto your tongue and slips down your throat.

It’s dark when you open your eyes, no light streaming in from your window. The breeze is still on your face where you lay. 

It’s soft under your back, soft and cold and damp. 

“Welcome to your new life, little one.” You’ve never heard the voice before, not on its own, only blended with the man on the path. It’s velvet smooth yet crackles at the edge with a cold fire. Comfort and danger in one. You know the owner even without looking over. 

Still, you look.

Beauty and horror rolled into one haunting creature resembling a human male, yet far from it. 

He’s sitting on the damp forest ground a little to your right, smiling at you with those sharp teeth on show, his dark, dangerous eyes which hold no light or warmth locked on you. And yet you feel…adored. 

“What’s your name?” You ask, voice soft and calm, at peace here laid on the bed of moss beside the being that could tear you apart and swallow you whole if he so desired. You think he once wanted to. But now. Now you think he still might. But only to carry you with him always. 

You think you would let him, if he asked. 

“My name?” He repeats, leaning forward. You nod and then suddenly he’s slinking over the ground, crawling in a manner that should not be possible, his bones should not move in such a way if he were human. 

But he’s not. 

“Names hold power here, little one, do you think I would give a mere human power over me?” He taunts, placing each of his bony hands either side of your head as he leans over you, head tilting too far to the right for a human neck. 

“I don’t feel human anymore.” You reply and lift your hand to feather your fingers over his cheek. Perfectly smooth and cold, yet still soft. 

“I suppose you are not.” He chuckles and dips down to brush the tip of his nose over your neck, to breathe the scent of you in.

“What am I now?” 

“Mine.” Sharp teeth pierce your delicate skin, not deeply, just enough to draw blood that a cold, wet tongue laps up greedily. 

“Then tell me your name. If I’m yours, I will never want to do you harm.” 

He leans up. Peers at you as he licks blood stained teeth and swallows every drop. 

“You are mine.” He repeats.

“I am yours.”

“Prove it, let me have you.” 

“I am yours.” You repeat firmly, tugging him down to taste your blood on his tongue.

It’s dark, and cold, and soft under your bare back, and you are not alone. 

“My name is Jeonghan.” 

It’s dark and you don’t want to find the light again.

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Permanent taglist: @okiedokrie @variety-is-the-joy-of-life

[kabira]

when the devil drives.

pairing — jeonghan x fem!reader ft. bestie!joshua

word count — 23.7k

genres — road trip au, exes to friends with benefits to lovers, fighting as flirting, angst, fluff, smut (fingering, vaginal penetration, dirty talk, slight praise, cunnilingus)

warnings — toxic relationships, swearing and threatening language, explicit sexual content, they're both infuriating (yes that needs a warning, trust me)

summary — when your best friend breaks his leg and cancels your summer getaway, jeonghan turns up in his place to take you home from college on what was supposed to be a five hour car ride. except he has other plans, and you end up with more than you bargained for on a week-long road trip to nowhere with the cynical, silvertongued ex-boyfriend whom you're still kinda sorta in love with.

note — it's finally done. the bane of my existence. please enjoy the fic that made me so stressed that it delayed my period by like a week. on a lighter note, there's a playlist. enjoy <3

go to main masterlist | svt masterlist

THREE YEARS EARLIER.

The person in the mirror is not you.

The person in the mirror is beautiful when you’ve only ever felt pretty, mature even though you still feel like an overgrown child, and confident despite the fact that your heart is beating right out of your chest. Despite her makeover skills being limited to being practiced only on fortnightly dates, your mom has actually done an incredible job with you. Long hours of youtube video-watching and swatting you to remind you to sit still have finally paid off.

You trail your lilac-coated fingertips over your bare collar, marveling at the way your skin throws off light. It probably wouldn’t take much to convince your friends that it’s actually makeup instead of sweat doing the job, but it probably isn’t worth it. You stand up, looking down at the ruffled skirt of the purple dress you picked out at the mall weeks ago. Then, glancing back up at the mirror, you lift a hand to your arm, giving it a light pinch.

The yelp leaves your lips right as your mother opens the door to your bedroom, gesturing frantically with a makeup brush. “Honey, he’s here,” she informs you in a rapid hiss, looking as giddy as if it were her final prom night. “Get downstairs, quickly.”

“But my phone, and my purse—”

“They’re downstairs. First drawer of the credenza.” She slams the door shut before you can get a word in, leaving you standing in the middle of the room feeling even more alone than before.

You begin chewing on your bottom lip, and stop when you remember her specific instructions against ruining the lipstick. Smoothing down the ruffles with fluttering hands, you cast one last, yearning glance at the full-length mirror before going to the door, unlocking it gently and stepping outside.

The walk to the edge of the staircase is short, but it feels like more than an hour has passed by the time you get to it. You take a deep breath, clutching the balustrade with trembling fingers, and pause.

The noise had gone unnoticed by you earlier, owing to the anxious clamoring of overlapping thoughts in your head, but now if you pay attention you can hear your father’s stern tones, no doubt questioning your date at the front door. Anxious once more, you take a step back, wringing your hands. You carefully tuck a lock of hair behind your ear, running your hands over your skirt again, letting the texture of the ruffles calm you down. Okay, okay, I can do this, you think, placing the ball of your thumb between your teeth. It’s no big deal.

No big deal at all.

“Dad, quit grilling him,” you call out, and finally step into view. Your father looks up, and so does the poor boy he’s been cross-examining for who knows how long. You feel your face heat up at suddenly being brought into the spotlight, but manage a small smile.

You think you see your dad’s eyes misting over, but then your eyes automatically stray over to the person whose reaction you’ve been anticipating more. Your date is standing there slack-jawed, the top of his slightly-loosened tie visible as the bouquet of roses in his hands droops from inattentiveness. 

“Hi,” you say shyly, pleased at his reaction. Then, raising your hands above your dress, you give him a slow twirl. “So,” you say breathlessly, “how do I look?”

Jeonghan’s eyes are bright with fervor, the grip on the plastic cover around the flowers tighter than before, which you can tell by the way the blood has receded from his knuckles.

And he doesn’t say anything at all.

NOW.

“And done,” you say, slapping the end of the packing tape on the side of what you hope is the last carton. Then, still squatting, you place a hand on the side and lean back to examine your handiwork. To your dismay, the end of the tape has already begun to curl. "You think that’ll keep?"

"Absolutely," your roommate, Mina, hums in a way that tells you she isn’t listening. You glance back at her exasperatedly, and she gives you an apologetic grin. “Listen, I’m beyond caring at this point. That was the last of them, right?”

“Checklist.” You point at her, and she sighs, her acrylic nails tapping against the glitzy pink clipboard in her hands. 

“Yes, mother.”

Straightening, you place your hands on your hips and survey the area like the captain of a ship sailing into unknown waters. Your shared room, which had once been a safe haven strewn with comforters and fluffy rugs, is now overrun by corrugated cardboard boxes, some bulging and some rattling, almost all sealed unevenly with old dried-up tape. You rub your creased forehead. “I feel like we should’ve gotten professionals to do this work for us. The RA even recommended someone who gives out discounts for people who move before summer.”

“Are you kidding? We did a pretty bang-up job, considering this was all last-minute, and for free too,” Mina exclaims. “Plus, I would never trust a stranger with my ceramic dolls.” 

“You wouldn’t trust me with them, and I’ve been holding your hair up while you vomited in the toilet for months,” you complain. “Did we pack everything?”

She hums under her breath again, chewing on her bottom lip as her eyes roll down over the checklist. “I think so. Did you finish packing?”

“Yep.”

Mina looks sideways at one corner of the room, where your lone olive-green suitcase sits flush against the wall. “I still don’t understand how you’re going to survive a whole summer on just that.”

“It’s not a whole summer,” you correct. The thought of leaving fills you with a buzzing excitement, and you have to bite your lip to stop the smile from unfurling like a banner over your face. “Just a couple of weeks out in nature. And maybe a few motels. Neither place really requires much clothing.”

She makes a face, but dismisses the line of conversation with a wave of her hand. “Whatever you say,” she says. "Now, help me push these out into the hallway?"

You groan, but oblige. It’s mostly your fault that the two of you had to pack everything yourselves, since you picked the last possible day to move out before you’d have been thrown out of the dorms. Most of your stuff is already gone, but as a dutiful roommate, you’d promised Mina that you’d help her out before leaving for the summer. So, here you are, running on less than three hours of sleep, having spent most of this morning and the night before squeezing piles of clothes into boxes and folding bubble wrap like splints.

When you’re done, Mina takes the elevator down with you, and the sole suitcase you’re carrying feels even lighter than it is after all the boxes you'd been lugging around. When the metal doors slide open at the ground floor, you let go of a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding.

Mina pats your hand. Her clipboard is still tucked under her arm. “Don’t be so worried.”

You let out an uncertain laugh that fades quickly into a grimace, fingers clenched tight around the handle of your suitcase. “Why would I be worried?”

She pries your fingers out of their vice-like grip. “Exactly,” she says, grabbing the handle in your stead and pulling the suitcase out of the elevator, leaving you to awkwardly follow along, not quite knowing what to do with your hands. “After all your unfounded confidence in your packing and planning skills, it would be a shame if you lost faith in them now.” You can’t help but smile a bit at that, but for some reason, you still feel squeamish. “We’re not late, are we?”

Pushing your irrational anxiety aside, you hurriedly check your watch. “Well, um, a little,” you say with a shrug, “but Josh makes it a point never to show up until it’s fifteen minutes past our appointment.”

“So it’s all dandy then,” she says, her voice a bit further away, and when you look up you realize that she’s more than just a few steps ahead of you despite the heels and the suitcase, and you hasten your step. “Just make sure to check your pockets for condoms—”

“Mina.”

“—and your phone and wallet, and pepper spray.” She catches the stern look on your face. “You know, just in case.” She stops suddenly, and you almost trip over your own luggage. You look up at her in exasperation, but stop short upon noting the confusion on her face. “Is that Joshua?”

You follow her gaze across the parking lot, and spot the unmistakable blue Corolla parked a couple spots over. There’s a figure leaning against the side, his stark blonde hair makes the heated air shimmer like a halo over his head. Your first thought is oh, he dyed his hair. Your second is that’s not Joshua.

“What?” Mina looks confused, even as she falls into step beside you as you begin to stalk your way through the lot. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing yet,” you mutter as you reach the car. The blonde looks up, and your heart jumps into your throat. “What the hell are you doing here?”

The boy who is not Joshua tilts his head questioningly. “Why the cold reception?” Jeonghan asks. 

You raise your eyebrows, incredulous, and are just about to open your mouth to elaborate on just why he’s getting a cold reception when Mina places a placating hand on your arm. “Hi, I’m Mina,” she says, putting on a bright smile, no doubt to outweigh the dark glare you’ve directed at his face. “The roommate.”

“Jeonghan.” He inclines his head with a neutral yet pleasant smile of his own, glancing at you. His smile falls almost comically upon seeing the expression on your face. “The…”

“You didn’t answer my question,” you interject, relentless. Mina is looking more and more discomfited by the second, but you scarcely notice. 

“The ex,” Jeonghan completes. He then turns to you, raising a cool eyebrow. “I thought you knew,” he says.

“Knew what?” You demand. 

He straightens, slowly drawing his hands out of his pockets, and you almost regret asking the question. Always the dramatics, you think bitingly. “That there’s been a slight change of plans.”

There was a time you thought you could trust Joshua Hong.

For the major part of your life, he had been the one person you could rely on for (mostly) everything, even when that something involved needing someone to catch you when you snuck out your window at 2 a.m., or knowing you’d always have a clean band-aid to use if you scraped your knee biking through a junkyard.

That time was approximately a minute and twenty seconds ago, when you hadn’t pulled out your phone with its unrepaired crack and checked the unread messages—the most recent of which were from him. It says sorry, and that he’s broken his leg and won’t be able to drive you from your dorm for the planned road trip. The crack lands right over the word sorry.

You know it’s been a minute and twenty seconds because you’ve been counting.

It’s like a bubble has burst inside your chest. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you mumble softly, clenching your fingers tighter around your poor phone, which might end up with another crack if you squeeze it any further. “And he couldn’t tell me this before.”

“So you’ve been saying,” says the unwelcome replacement Joshua sent in his place. Jeonghan doesn’t have a trace of sympathy on his face as he folds his arms across his chest and checks the time on his watch. “Not to sound like an asshole, but it’s already three o’clock. We were supposed to be in town before dark, and it’s at least five hours from here.”

His voice is flat, utterly unsympathetic to your frustration. You’re still reeling, which is the only reason you don’t snap back immediately. It’s bad enough that your best friend isn’t here after all the work that went into planning and budgeting your trip, but Yoon Jeonghan’s presence is like salt on the wound. 

Maybe you’d say something snarky if it hadn’t been eight full months since you’d last talked to him. If the anger from your last conversation hadn’t faded over the long months and turned into something more…malleable. Manageable, as if you could ever have associated the word with him, with the feeling that you were swallowing hot coals every time you looked at him. You still remember the last time you talked to him in painstaking detail, and as you realize that fact, the memory comes rushing back, alongside the feeling that you’re going to throw up.

“So...that’s it?” You don’t know if you’re supposed to be nice to him. Exes have never before been an issue for you because you’ve never really had one before. “Joshua breaks his leg, so he sends you over.” Like nothing ever happened between us, you want to say, but your tongue seems to curl up when you try. “As a stand-in?”

The corner of his mouth twitches, and you can tell he’s holding back some words of his own. “Call it what you want, sweetheart,” he says, and you feel like you’ve been slapped across the face.

Part of you knows that he’s just trying to rile you up, but unfortunately, he’s had a lot of practice at it, so it’s working. You find yourself wishing that you hadn’t sent Mina away with nothing more than a short hug and a few words, but ever since you spotted Jeonghan across the parking lot you’ve been feeling about as steady as a salt shaker. Some support right now would’ve been nice.

Your fingers unclench from around the phone. There’s two ways this could go—the good way, in which both of you pretend that nothing ever happened, or the bad way, and you don’t even know what the worst case scenario could be. Jeonghan has never been a patient person, but right now, even as you stand silently in front of him after months of no contact, he seems unresponsive. Something hurt and hungry rears its head inside you at his hollow indifference, and you taste a familiar venom at the back of your tongue.

But you’re not going to give him the satisfaction. 

“Why are you doing this?” you ask instead.

Jeonghan shrugs. You’re not sure if you just imagined the tension going out of his shoulders. “I owed Joshua a favor.”

You raise your eyebrows. “You expect me to believe that?”

His lips thin. “Would you believe me if I said it was a big favor?” he asks casually, but his shoulders are tense again.

You’re aware of the intensity with which you’re watching him, and the fervence with which he’s avoiding your gaze. “No.”

“Figured.” He looks away right before you manage to catch the look in his eyes. “Is that all you’re carrying, or…?”

You look back at your olive green suitcase, the handle still pulled out, lying forgotten a couple of steps away from you. You don’t remember having moved towards Jeonghan during the course of your conversation, and you’re surprised enough by the realization that your chest tightens for a second. “That’s all,” you say numbly, and Jeonghan turns to pull open the car door.

“Well, then, we don’t have all day,” he says, gesturing to the seat. You feel a twinge of irritation again, but say nothing, roughly grabbing the suitcase handle and yanking a door open. Asshole, asshole, asshole, you chant in your head. This is going to be the worst drive of your life.

Even worse, you find it impossible to fall asleep.

Somehow, it’s not the noise. Jeonghan doesn’t whistle, and he doesn’t turn on the radio, or try to make small talk that would make you want to tear your hair out. He remains perfectly silent, not saying a single word to you after starting the car, not even an offer to stop by a corner store or for a drink of water. It’s been some time since the loud city faded into empty, expansive grasslands on either side of the highway, but you’re still wide awake.

Maybe it’s the silence that keeps you up, or whatever it is that it implies. You’re on edge, and your mind is churning, struggling between being mad at Joshua or being mad at Jeonghan or being mad at yourself for giving a shit. You’re still so shaken by Jeonghan’s sudden reappearance that you haven’t even begun to process anything else.

I’m going home, you think numbly, but even that thought evokes only a dull response in you. You think about the weeks building up to the summer, the calls with your dad. Your not-so-meticulously packed suitcase lies in the car’s boot, probably collecting dust if you know anything about the state of Joshua’s car. Much like all your dreams of summer. No beers, and no swimming pools, and certainly no Joshua.

You look over at Jeonghan again, but he doesn’t even seem to notice. You must be in a daze, because for a moment, you think about leaning over and nudging him.

What makes seeing him so much worse is that he looks almost exactly the same as he used to. The same hands, the same eyes, even his hair is still bleached the same silvery-white. The first button of his white shirt is opened, revealing a sliver of tanned skin inside. He always wore pressed shirts and sweater vests—and here a venomous thought enters your mind—when he really should be wearing a straightjacket instead.

When you knew him a year ago, he had been beautiful, but it was a beauty that was yours to possess, to kiss and to touch and to hold. He’s still beautiful, but now it’s the kind of beauty that makes him untouchable. The kind that belongs behind a glass pane, like a fragile display made out of cards or glass or papyrus in a museum exhibit that you would stare at with wonder in your eyes, yearning to reach out but holding yourself back knowing that a single touch could send it crashing to the floor. No, you can’t allow yourself to touch him now.

So you cross your arms, tuck your fingers under your biceps, and turn to glare out the window instead.

You switch with him after the first stop at a gas station.

“I’ll be right back,” Jeonghan had told you before heading in, and you’d taken the opportunity to get out and stretch your legs. When he comes back carrying a plastic bag from the convenience store, it takes him a few minutes before he notices standing forlornly in front of a tree.

“What?” he asks, only half curious. It’s a tall three, thick-trunked, with segmented branches that end in spiky gray-green leaves that make it look like a high school rocker with too much hairspray.

“It’s a Joshua tree,” you reply mournfully.

“Oh my god,” he mutters, and you turn to him with an evil look in your eye as you begin the walk back to the car. “He broke his leg, not his neck.”

“Of course it’s all the same to you,” you fire back. Jeonghan unlocks the Corolla with short, sharp movements that show his exasperation, and tosses the keys to you. You catch them, going around to the driver’s seat, as he leans in and pushes against the lumpy plastic bag, trying to make space for it on the dashboard. “A broken leg is pretty painful.”

“More painful for you than him, apparently,” Jeonghan grunts. With a final push, he manages to make the bag stay, and climbs into the car, shutting the door behind him before pulling on the seatbelt. He turns to look at you with his forehead furrowed as the car starts rolling forward. “I thought you wouldn’t want to drive.”

“Why, because you think I’m sulking?” you ask, offense creeping into your voice. Your neck is already coated in sweat, and you’re not sure if it’s because of the weather or just a bodily reaction to your feelings.

“I’d say it’s normal to be upset about your best friend being hurt.” Jeonghan shrugs.

“I’m not upset about that,” you snap. 

“You’re not upset about your best friend being hurt?”

“I am. I just mean—” You break off, irritated. The sweat is now drying because of the hot air coming in through the open tops of the windows, making your skin itch. You just twist your shoulder backwards, unwilling to let go of the steering wheel because if you do, you might just sock Jeonghan in the mouth. “It kind of brings things to a halt. For both him and me.”

Jeonghan leans against the side. “I wouldn’t call one canceled trip bringing your life to a halt.”

Your head is beginning to hurt. “You’re right,” you say testily. “It’s just really fucking inconvenient.”

“Inconvenient?” he echoes. “You get to go home to sweet Joshua. Nurse him through his grievously traumatic injury. It could be a bonding experience, unless you’re bent on calling the poor incapacitated boy an inconvenience.”

“I never—” You grit your teeth, forcing down your rising anger. The heat has begun to crawl like a swarm of fire ants, up your neck and down your back. “I’m surprised he only broke his leg,” you say savagely. “Considering that he thought of sending you in his place, instead of literally anyone else, I wonder how he didn’t get a concussion instead.”

Jeonghan laughs. “All this anger over a little road trip? What exactly were the two of you planning to do, pray tell? I feel like I’m missing out.”

You kiss your teeth, thinking better of responding with another biting comment. Your skin is sweaty and itchy and hot and there’s still a good four hours before you get home. Going at it with him isn’t going to help your mood. You tell yourself that it’s been eight months, you’ve grown, you’ve become a better person. You’re not going to fall for his bait.

Then Jeonghan says, “You could always tour his bedroom.”

In your head, you slam on the brakes, bringing the car to an immediate halt for dramatic effect. In real life, however, you’re painfully aware of how Jeonghan’s lack of a seatbelt would send him flying into the windshield, so you slow down before coming to a rolling stop at the side of the road. Your throat feels like hot lava.

“Really?” the perpetrator asks, raising an eyebrow. “It’s the witless bedroom comment that gets you?”

You clench and unclench your jaw a couple of times, trying to bring your temper down, but to no avail. Your hands on the wheel are unusually tight, as if trying to close into complete fists around it, so you have to forcefully pry your fingers apart before you unlock the door and step out of the car.

Jeonghan copies your movements, getting out of his seat to lean over the hood of the car, his posture suggesting curiosity rather than sympathy. His lips part, no doubt in preparation to say something to push you over the proverbial edge, and warning bells go off inside your head.

“Shut up,” you snap, and he recoils, blinking in surprise.

“I didn’t—”

“Shut up,” you repeat decisively, turning to level your gaze at him like the tip of a sword. “I didn’t ask for you to be an ideal travelling companion, but the least you could do is shut the fuck up.”

Jeonghan says nothing, but his eyes stay on your face, intent and oddly unnerving. You force yourself to look away lest you give away some kind of weakness in your expression—being civil is your best bet to last the duration of the ride, but this is still a push-and-pull. With him, it always is.

“This was supposed to be the last summer we had before graduating and getting jobs and moving to different parts of the country,” you say through clenched teeth. “It wasn’t even going to be that big of a deal—just being on the road for a few weeks with each other for company, having no responsibilities, no destinations, and no deadlines. And then he had to go and fuck himself over, and fuck me over in the process, and now it’s weeks and weeks of work gone to waste, and all I’ve been looking forward to is dust. And on top of that, you had to come in and do what you do best, which is twist everything I say and make me feel like shit about it like it's your god-given right to ruin my life. So, yeah, it’s the fucking—” 

The anger seems to have gone out of you somewhere towards the end, and you feel yourself deflate like a pricked balloon. “And it’s so fucking hot, too,” you mumble, burying your face in your hands. Then, face still covered, you laugh, feeling ridiculous and petulant like a child after throwing a temper tantrum about a broken toy. “Sorry. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault for having to drive me, and it’s not Joshua’s fault for getting his goddamned leg broken. I’m just…” You struggle to find the right words to express your frustration, but ultimately give up. “It’s so hot,” you whisper.

Your face burns, and you’re no longer sure if it’s from anger or embarrassment. It’s unusual for you to lose your composure, but you must have been more affected by this than you had imagined. Or maybe it’s just Jeonghan bringing out the violence in your emotions again.

Speak of the devil. Jeonghan steps around the front of the car and comes to a stop in front of you, hands very still at his sides, yet tensed as if they’re about to move. Suddenly you feel very tired, and very, very small.

“Let me drive the rest of the way.” His tone is gentler than you expected, but you’re still not brave enough to meet his eyes. He hesitates, like he’s about to say something else, but then his lips press into a thin, concerned line. You remember that expression from years ago, his eyes warm, a hand reaching over to curl around yours. Now, it just feels alien.

“Get some rest,” he finally says, and you don’t have the heart to fight back.

It’s been half an hour, and you still haven’t said a word to each other. Whatever pretense of cordiality you thought could be preserved is gone—if it had even existed in the first place—and the tension in the air is thick enough that you could carve something out of it. You’re beginning to get a little tired of the silence, now that the noise in your head has begun to quiet down just enough so you can actually think.

At least he’s turned the air conditioner on, which is a small mercy. You don’t know how you forgot about it before, but it probably had something to do with your rising irritation and the complete lack of awareness due to your blinding rage. Maybe if you’d just retained enough sense to turn the stupid freaking air conditioner on, you wouldn’t have had a loud, embarrassing breakdown in the middle of the freeway.

“I can hear your internal monologue from all the way over here,” Jeonghan says, making you start. It’s almost as if he actually can hear every single one of your thoughts—which shouldn’t be so surprising, considering your history. Your heart’s startled palpitations turn into a painful squeeze. “Stop thinking so hard and get some sleep.”

“It’s not like I’m not trying,” you mutter. “I’m just…restless.”

“Can’t wait to get home?”

You scoff. “Yep,” you say, dragging the syllable sarcastically. “Can’t wait to get home.”

Jeonghan catches your eye in the rearview mirror. There’s something quietly thoughtful brimming behind his eyes, and although you can’t quite put your finger on why, it makes you sit a bit more easily. It could be that you’re glad he isn’t too mad at you—people pleaser that you are—but it’s more likely that the look is…familiar. Familiar enough that relaxing in reaction to it is an instinct your body hasn’t gotten rid of just yet. Fucking biology. “We don’t have to go home if you don’t want to,” he says with pretend nonchalance, looking away.

You laugh, a little sadly, and uncross your arms to rub your hands down your biceps. “Where else am I supposed to go?”

It’s quiet for another moment. This time, it’s you who can almost hear the gears turning in Jeonghan’s head. You can’t help but anticipate what he’s going to say. “I don’t know,” he says, voice so muted that you have to look at his mouth to make sure you can correctly make out what he’s saying. “Where were you planning to go with Joshua?”

Your breath catches in your throat. “No,” you say firmly right as he asks the question, your voice a little rough and more than a little hoarse. You’re sitting stock-still now, like you touched a live wire and have been electrified in place. “Don’t even think of going there.”

He shrugs, and you can see the slightest hint of tension in his neck muscles when they flex with the movement. “If we take the highway, there’s a motel about half an hour from—”

“Don’t,” you say through your teeth. He’s still not looking at you. “Jeonghan, stop it.”

“Two days,” he says, unrelenting. His eyes finally flicker to yours, and you feel something stutter in your heart when you see the first hint of genuine emotion in his expression. The first time in eight months. “If we take the U-turn up ahead and keep going, it takes two days to lead up to the bay. Just two days. We could stay in a bed-and-breakfast, and if you still want to go back after that, I’ll take you home. No stops.”

You swallow back the dry patch in your throat. It feels wrong to see him like this, so eager when he greeted you with all the warmth of an icicle just a couple hours ago in the parking lot behind your apartment building. You know some part of it is because of your unintended meltdown in the middle of the road an hour ago, but the whole proposal reeks of pity.

“Not funny,” you say shakily.

“I’m not joking,” comes the simple reply.

“What’s the catch?” you ask sharply. “Not even half an hour ago you were letting me know exactly what you thought of road trips and risks. Why the sudden change of heart, huh, Jeonghan? If you tell me it’s because you feel guilty, I swear to god I’ll punch you.”

“Well,” he starts, lifting a single shoulder, “I don’t really have anything better to do. And if I take you home right now your mom will definitely make me stay for dinner, which would be awkward for both of us.” He shrugs. “And…maybe I want to spite Joshua. For breaking his leg playing soccer with little kids, and making me come all this way just to pick up an ungrateful little alley cat who could’ve just taken the bus.” 

You lapse into silence for a few moments. Then: “He really broke his leg playing soccer with little kids?”

“Yes,” Jeonghan replies, but not without an eye roll to accompany it. He looks at you then. “So what will it be, sweetheart?”

You know in your heart that there’s only one right answer to that question, and it’s a resounding no.

But then, if you’d been sensible enough to listen to your heart, you probably wouldn’t have ended up five hours away from home in a shitty old college majoring in fucking math of all things. So of course you tell him to turn the car around.

Jeonghan has always been an ass with apologies.

Which is ironic, because ever since you first met him, you’d known that he had the gift of the gab (for lack of a better phrase). His talents had always been in lying and talking and picking exactly the right quote from a classic text to make himself sound smart—which, admittedly, he is. He went from making people pay him to write their college essays and down the natural pipeline to majoring in literature at a fancy place. He’s always been good at making you angry, but you don’t think he’s ever figured out how to make things right. Or care enough to work for it.

So when Jeonghan knocks on the door and you open it to find him with a beer bottle in his hand, you’re only slightly surprised to see it. 

When he comes in, his eyes go straight to the double bed. He steps inside the room (at the first motel you’d seen which advertised running hot water, which makes no damn sense anyway because it’s over a hundred degrees outside and neither of you is taking a hot bath anytime soon, but whatever). The blades of the ceiling fan spin lazily, barely even disturbing his hair.

“The speed for the fan doesn’t go beyond three, and the air conditioner only works between seven and seven,” you inform him as you sit back on the bed, your suitcase open on the mattress in front of you. 

Jeonghan nods, and you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing. He’s probably not used to this kind of place at all, but if you’re going on the road with him, you’re not pulling your punches. You’re happy enough with the arrangements yourself, being accustomed to living in even worse conditions. His description of you as an ungrateful little alley cat wasn’t far from the mark. It could always be worse, but you don’t tell him that.

You’d decided against calling your parents—or Joshua—to inform them about your change in plans, and had instead chosen a few simple texts to convey the information. They trust you enough to deal with your last-minute changes, but you know that there’s going to be a lot of questions about your choice of companion when you get back. Those questions, however, you can confidently avoid thinking about at least until you get back. And as for Joshua—he should’ve known better, you think primly. 

“I’m sorry,” Jeonghan says suddenly, breaking you out of your reverie. The beer bottle sits guilty in his grip. Gotcha, you think. “For riling you up in the car. Being around you kind of triggers my fight or flight instinct, and I’ve never been much of a runner. Heaven knows my dad tried, though.”

You half smile in acknowledgement. His expression is awkward, which makes your smile widen. The apology in no way makes up for your history, but now that you're already halfway through your decision, you decide to put him out of his misery and call a truce.

Leaning forward, you take the beer he offers you, raising it in his direction like a salute. “You’re good enough with words to make up for your lack of athletic ability,” you say, making the corners of his lips curl up. “And the pen is mightier than the sword, as they say. Care for a sip?”

He shakes his head no. “Can’t blame you,” you say, nodding sagely as you casually uncap the bottle with your teeth. “Beer does taste like piss when warm.”

“Or cold. Or room temperature,” he says. “I don’t know how you manage to keep it down.”

“Needs must.” You grin, patting the empty space on the mattress next to you, and he indulges your request. “So, I was thinking about what you said,” you start, taking a square of paper from between folded clothes and books in your unzipped suitcase, and unfolding it. “I’ve been going over the route Josh and I picked out for the trip, but I thought of making some changes.” You run your fingertips over a squiggly blue line marked on the map, and tap a spot outside it. “We could visit the museum. Take a meandering route, make a few stops here-and-there before we actually get to the bay.”

Jeonghan peers over your shoulder. “That’s about eight hours from here.”

“Mhm,” you say, putting the lip of the bottle to your mouth and taking a gulp. You make a face as you swallow. “Damn. I thought it was kind of clichéd, but warm beer really does taste like piss.”

“I did warn you.” He’s stiffened a bit. You sniff the air, wondering if something stinks. 

“Well, uh,” you mutter under your breath, and bring the bottle back up to your lips with slow, careful motions. “We could make a few pit stops over here, and go to the shore later. Then there’s the wharf.” Your fingertip moves over the map.

Jeonghan looks at the spot you’re pointing at. His gaze shifts to your hand, then up over your arm, all the way to your bared shoulder—which you realize is mere inches from his face. 

He’s stopping breathing, as if afraid to exhale on your skin. You open your mouth to make a joke, but it dies in your throat. Your mouth remains open, no words coming out. Jeonghan lifts his eyes up to yours, and you feel your heart jump. The scent of green apple shampoo envelopes you.

Something thumps on the roof above. Jeonghan looks up, and you take the opportunity to nimbly shift away. “Do you think that was a rat or a person?” you wonder aloud.

“I’m not sure which I’d rather have it be,” he answers, getting to his feet. You look up at him, the beer bottle in your hand barely empty, but you’re already feeling lightheaded. “Dinner?”

Dinner is uneventful. You usually hate forcing pointless conversations, but now you find yourself broaching all kinds of topics from the weather to the food to the ketchup stain on the waiter’s apron.

Jeonghan is polite, laughing at the right moments and nodding along when you need him to listen, but you feel fidgety on the worn leather seat that you normally would have sunk comfortably into. The long-drawn conversation makes you feel like you’re talking to a stranger, not someone you’ve known for the most part of your life. Not for the first time, you mourn a friendship that has seemingly dissolved after your break-up.

By the time the two of you walk back, it’s almost ten. You pass under more than a few flickering streetlights, but they are more than made up for by the neon signs that begin to light up after dark.

When you get back to the room, all you can think about is the double bed. How convenient, you think to yourself, more than a little miserably when you think back to the tiny moment you shared while looking over the map. While you’ve moved on from Jeonghan, your body clearly hasn’t, if the way it reacted to his scent is anything to go by. And you have moved on. Why else would you be so comfortable basically running away with him?

“I hope the lock works,” Jeonghan mutters to himself as he locks the door for the night. You’re less confident, so you zip your bag back up and push it flush against the white door, propping the handle against the top.

Your phone rings, and you take it out, checking the caller ID. Joshua. You look up, and find Jeonghan looking at you, his face blank. Feeling unsettled, you reject the call, and put your phone away.

Now that it’s just the two of you with no dinners or strangers or ketchup stains to distract your conversations, the two of you fall into a pregnant silence. Jeonghan thumbs the collar of his shirt idly, looking at the bed with a glazed-over expression. You sidle by the bed and place a pillow in the middle, then stand back to survey your work.

“It looks like a face,” Jeonghan says.

“We can share the blanket,” you allow. For all the burning heat of the mid-afternoon sun, you know that the nights in the desert are cruelly cold, especially so within the paper-thin walls of the motel room. “Do you want to keep the fan on?”

“I’m good.” For some reason, Jeonghan looks ill. “You know…I just realized I don’t have a single change of clothes.”

You take a good look at his current attire, and it’s definitely not an excuse to stare. He’s wearing a plain white shirt, as you noted before. It’s fitted but billows faintly about his frame, making him look like a prince of old. His hair falls in soft blonde waves down to his neck, brushing the very top of his collar, and a few stray strands frame his face. Even though the harsh fluorescent lights draw the color from his face, the sheen of sweat over his cheekbones make them shine. You watch, transfixed, as Jeonghan’s fingers slip from the collar to the undone button, the pad of his thumb shaping the outline of it.

And he’s also wearing jeans. The jeans are reusable, you think, blinking yourself out of your stupor. Get a hold on yourself. But you can already pick out the stained collar of his shirt with ease. “We can go shopping tomorrow,” you suggest, clearing away the thickness of your voice. “Restock your supply of Walmart t-shirts.”

He looks at you with narrowed eyes, and you allow yourself a smile.

When all the blinds are all drawn and the lights turn off, you’re the first under the blankets. The pillow you’d ceremoniously placed down as a barrier between the two of you is flush against your back as you curl into yourself. You feel the mattress dip and the bed frame creak as Jeonghan gets into bed. It feels strange to have him in the same bed again, something you used to yearn for, now something so strange and troubling.

“Neighbors are loud,” he states, his voice muffled. You curl your fingers into the bedspread, and sigh silently before turning on your side so you’re facing him. Sure enough, now that you’re paying attention you can hear party music bleeding in from the room next to yours.

Jeonghan is nothing more than a dark outline against the sparing light that seeps in from under the door. “G’night,” you say softly. Softer than you intended, anyway. You bite your lip and duck your head under the blanket, feeling inexplicably schoolgirlish.

With the way your heart beats in your chest, it sounds almost as loud as the music coming from next door. You’re almost worried about him hearing it, but if he does, he doesn’t betray a thought. There’s no way I’m falling asleep like this, you think to yourself, but it doesn’t take more than a few minutes before you’re at the soft edges of sleep.

“Good night,” Jeonghan whispers back, just as you begin to drift off.

True to your word, the first place you put on your list of shopping locations is the local Walmart.

“You know I intend to wear these newly-acquired clothes outside of this trip, right?” Jeonghan complains as you browse a rack of t-shirts that advertise themselves as being up to fifty percent off! “You’re wasting your time if you think I’m going to spend my well-earned money on anything here.”

“May I remind you, mister, that this whole trip thing was your idea?" you ask, pulling out a tie-dyed shirt that’s a swirl of shades of peach and baby blue, and holding it up in front of his frame with an appreciative hum. “Plus, don’t you feel gross in your sweaty old underwear? This could be the splash of color your wardrobe so desperately needs.”

Jeonghan looks unimpressed. He pushes the tie-dye down, looking over it at you with a shake of his head. “I know better than to trust your choices, even those made with good intentions. And your intentions at the moment are clearly not good,” he emphasizes. “Anyway, this is not the underwear section.”

You raise your eyebrows, and look behind you pointedly at what is, actually, the underwear section. Jeonghan follows your gaze to the display of Fruit of the Loom underwear. “No, nope,” he murmurs. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Too good for Walmart underwear, are we?” You wrinkle your nose, but don't press the issue, moving instead towards another part of the t-shirts section. The tie-dye stays in your hand, though. 

“With underwear, I always believe that what you get is what you pay for,” Jeonghan says, then frowns. “What are you doing?”

You look up, innocent. “These crewnecks are on sale too.”

“That’s because it’s the peak of blistering summer,” he says, exasperated. “No one’s wearing crewnecks.”

“At night, though.”

“I’m not wearing a crewneck to bed.”

You’re about to crack a joke about going on long walks by the beach, but think better of it. Jeonghan looks confused by your sudden surrender, but you’re too busy looking in every other direction possible as a prickly heat crawls up your neck. “You really are a snob,” you mumble.

“I’m not a snob.” He rolls his eyes. “Can we go somewhere else? Anywhere else?”

You glance back, coy. “Anywhere?”

He grimaces. “I take that back.”

“Your wish is my command.” You wave the blue-and-coral tie-dye in the air. “We’re buying this one though. Don’t think for a second I’m gonna let you walk out of here empty-handed.”

For once, Jeonghan doesn’t complain, but he does purse his lips to make his feelings clear. “I guess I could make use of it when I have no clean clothes left.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad.”

He still pays for it—and some clean, much-needed underwear, despite his many complaints—at the counter, and you’re honestly surprised at how civil he's being. You'd thought that it would require a lot more effort to make this whole thing as smooth as possible after the fiasco in the car, but he's been on his beat behavior since then.

Despite your outburst and Jeonghan’s subsequent apology, you’re aware that neither of you have actually broached the reason for this tension. It’s much easier to just not think about the break-up, and act like it never happened, because that’s a whole can of worms right there that you do not wish to open. 

You wish you could unscrew the top of your head and bring your brain out. Give it a good shake to dust off all the stray thoughts you keep having about Jeonghan and your self-control and your relationship, and just let yourself enjoy the ride. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

“We could go thrifting,” you suggest once you’re in the car, and for once, Jeonghan doesn’t seem too opposed to the idea.

The first thrift store you find on the GPS is small and plain-looking, but upon entering the dilapidated, run-down looking building you quickly learn not to judge the book by its cover. Inside, Jeonghan picks up a fluffy hot pink scarf with a wince, and you can’t help but laugh.

“You should try that one on, actually. It matches your mean girl vibe,” you point out, digging through the bin where he found the scarf in question.

“I like mean girl better than snob.” He slings the scarf around his neck. He'd decided to trade in his white button-up for the tie-dye you got from Walmart, but not before proclaiming that it was only because he needed clean clothes to wear. “It sounds more like a phase that way.”

“It doesn’t fit as well though,” you say, bringing out a sequined shirt. “Ooh, try this one. The disco vibes would make you a hit at the local club.”

“Thirty years ago, maybe,” he grumbles, but adds it to the cart. “Can’t you look for something more…”

“Boring?”

“Classy,” he finishes with a pointed look.

You grin. “As my lord pleases,” you announce, and hold up a plain brown t-shirt. Jeonghan arches his eyebrows, looking mildly surprised and skeptical, until you turn it around to reveal the Twilight logo with the faces of the main trio plastered below it. “Doth thou find this to thy liking, good sir?”

There’s an expression of part disgust, part enjoyment (and is that a glimpse of fondness you catch in his eye?) on his face. “Verily, fair maiden. It is to my utmost satisfaction,” he replies, a smile playing on his lips. “And it would be dost, not doth.”

“Very well.” You drop the shirt into the cart and straighten, grin unwavering. “Let us look around.”

He offers you his arm, and you hesitate only a millisecond before taking it. “Shall we?”

You nod, keeping the smile in place. “We shall.”

The two of you end up staying in the store until it closes, losing track of time as Jeonghan models different outfits you throw together—“This one has a dick drawn on the back.” “I know, right?”—and bring to him in the changing rooms. It’s not entirely a waste—he actually ends up finding some decent clothes, which you make him pack into a hello kitty backpack, and you buy the heart-shaped sunglasses that manage to catch your attention. By the time you come out and agree to get an unhealthy dinner from a McDonald’s drive-thru, it’s almost nine, but you’re on a dopamine high that you know is going to keep you up for a long while.

Also, you kind of don’t want to go to sleep. Going to sleep means finding a cheap place to stay, with vacancies, during tourist season, which means you’re probably only going to find a single bed. After all you’ve done to keep an invisible barrier between the two of you today (which is to say: not much) you don’t trust yourself enough to try to risk sleeping in the same bed again.

Jeonghan seems to have had the same idea, so you end up taking mini naps while switching with him to drive all night to the next destination. Most of the night, at least. It’s about four in the morning when you realize you’re beginning to nod off in the driver’s seat, so you pull over and nudge Jeonghan awake.

“I don’t think going on is good for our health,” you tell him seriously.

He’s still half-asleep, but he bestirs himself at your words, rubbing his eyes with the knuckles of a closed fist. “Uh, okay,” he mutters, opening his eyes wide and blinking the sleep out of them. “Why?”

“It’s irresponsible,” you insist. “You know, from a road safety perspective. Also, I almost drove us into a tree.”

That wakes him up quick. “What do you suggest, then?” he asks, sitting up. “Sleeping in the car?”

“Well,” you begin, unsure, “yeah?”

“Are you crazy? We’ll freeze to death.”

“No we won’t,” you whisper back, then clear your throat, not sure why you’re whispering. “Body heat.”

Jeonghan puts his face in his hands for a few seconds, then exhales deeply. “Okay,” he mutters savagely, dragging his fingers down his face. He looks up at you, and there’s a languid sharpness in his eyes that makes you squirm in your seat. “Four hours,” he says. “Don’t complain later if you can’t take it.”

You try for a scoff to hide your discomposure, but end up yawning instead. “Whatever,” you murmur, putting your forearm against the wheel and leaning your face against it. It’s still dark out, and you are freezing a little bit, but the dull orange light that lights up the interior of the car makes it feel slightly warmer. “It’s not like we have anything worth stealing.”

Jeonghan lounges against the passenger seat. He’s still wearing the stupid tie-dye, and the orange of the interior lights have washed out the peach in his shirt. The rest of him is bathed in the same color, making his skin look like it’s been licked by fire. You watch him undo the seatbelt buckle with hooded eyes, curling your fingers around the steering wheel to contain yourself. Even as he climbs into the backseat, you don’t move, eyes still fixed on him. 

Would you have reached for him if you didn’t remember every word he said that day? Maybe you should talk about what happened, to clear the air at least. You try to think of how that would go. Jeonghan, you would start, about what happened—

“Are you coming or not?” Jeonghan asks. He leans forward, beckoning you with a crooked finger, and your gaze glides over the collarbone that peeks out from just below his neck. His voice is breathy and low, making something twang in your gut. You pull yourself up quickly, and follow him before you can change your mind. Jeonghan pulls out a few of his clothes from the backpack to cushion the seat. The space is small, cramped, and smells like cheese, but you think about none of those things except the heat of his body against yours. This is, undoubtedly, the most terrible idea you’ve had so far.

“This is a terrible idea,” you voice, as he pulls an oversized shirt over your legs and leans back. You’re not half as sleepy as you were mere moments ago. The comfort is so deeply unsettling that you feel like you’d rather nap in a bush.

“As I said,” he murmurs, gaze darting to your lips for a millisecond. You gulp. He looks like he’s made of honey and marmalade. “Do you want to turn off the light?”

“So passer-bys don’t think we’re fucking in the back of the car?” A nervous laugh bubbles up your throat like an uncorked Coke bottle, the regret following the words as soon as they come out. You glance up at him, pulse jumping, but his eyes are already closed. “Oh. Um. I’ll turn them off.”

It doesn’t take long for Jeonghan’s breaths to even out, but you lie awake for a long time, listening to your own heartbeat. It’s long past ten a.m. before either of you wakes up.

You spend the next few days doing what you do best—wasting time. This was what you’d planned originally, doing absolutely nothing and deciding destinations on the road, but it was supposed to be with someone who knew you well. While you have no doubt that Jeonghan had managed to puzzle out every part of you before, you're no longer the same pedantic, rule-abiding perfectionist that he probably remembers. You think you’ve changed a lot since you last saw him, and since a major part of that owes itself to him not being in your life any more, you don’t know how to adjust your relationship to that change.

There’s a day you spend most of at a microbrewery, where you manage to snag a guided tour to the home brewing process and Jeonghan develops a taste for fruit beers. Another where you trek up the mountains at a national park just to watch the sunset, sitting on a rock with your sore legs and sharing an artisanal. Once you spend the whole day at the pier.

“There.” You point at a highway, licking the side of your strawberry ice cream (Jeonghan takes the mint). “That’s the road I took while following this stupid underground band on their tour. Didn’t even like them that much, but these guys convinced me, and it turned out to be kind of fun. Sort of like a grown-up camping trip.”

Jeonghan squints at where you’re pointing, then shakes his head. “So that’s why you were so confident about sleeping overnight in a car in the desert.”

“S’not that bad.” You shrug. “I thought it would be like a new experience, you know, and that’s where I got this idea about the road trip in the first place. I don’t think Joshua expected me to suggest something so…careless.”

He’s silent for a long moment. You glance at him sideways, and clutch the bear plushie you won at the ring toss. “Do you ever miss it?” he asks at length.

“Never,” you reply quietly. Maybe you haven’t changed as much as you thought.

Every location is fun at first before your not-relationship gets in the way, slowly chipping away at your sanity like a heavy-handed ax. You swear you’ve barely touched alcohol, but soon the days begin to blur together, and by the time you get anywhere near the beach you don’t even know what day it is.

Saturday, your phone says.

You swipe ignore on Joshua’s sixteenth call in the past few days, this time not even bothering to shoot him a text in its stead. It’s late in the afternoon, and you’re lying on your stomach on an extremely soft mattress in a fancy hotel, ankles crossed in the air as you read an old copy of Gone Girl that you borrowed from Mina in case you got bored. 

Or you were reading it. You press your lips together as you finish reading the same paragraph for the seventh time without actually absorbing any of it, and sigh. Jeonghan reaches over and flicks the cover before leaning back. “Female rage, huh?” he asks, settling back against the pillows. “Should I be concerned?”

The colors of the sunset seep in through the slits between the blinds. You look up at him, noting his watchful gaze, the controlled set of his mouth. Somehow you feel more resentful than wary. “I don’t know.” You roll onto your back and jut your chin out, looking at him upside down. “Should you?”

He doesn’t give up. “Are you angry?”

Your fingers coil more tightly around the book. You match his stare for another second before propping yourself up on your elbow and going back to the text. “No,” you reply after a second, still with your back to him.

“I think you are.”

You throw your head back, irritated, and set the book back down on the bed. “Why would I be angry?” you ask, turning your face in his direction. “I’m just tired. That’s all. It’s too hot to do anything anyway, we can just go out after the sun goes down.”

Jeonghan doesn’t seem convinced, but he doesn’t push you on the subject, and you’re relieved. The truth is that you’ve been feeling irritated and guilty and rash ever since you woke up, but don’t want to give yourself the chance to do something stupid.

“Where do you want to go today?” he asks instead.

You frown, squeezing the bridge of your nose between a forefinger and thumb. “I don’t know,” you repeat. “Maybe nowhere. Do nothing.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “What were you planning to do with Joshua?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, all of that went out the window the second he broke his damned leg,” you snap. Then you pull back with a wince. “Shit. Sorry. I think I’m getting a headache.”

He doesn’t say anything, only offers you a glass of water, which you accept with a quiet thanks. It’s not going to help, though, you know that; your headache has deeper roots than that. The water is lukewarm, and you gulp the water down, spilling half of it over your mouth and down your shirt. “Maybe we can go somewhere you want,” you say, pursing your lips into the best smile you can muster. “You know, this was for the both of us.”

“I know,” Jeonghan replies, monotonous. “You’re getting a nosebleed.”

“What? Oh, fuck.” You hurriedly put the glass down on a side table and head to the washroom. Sure enough, when you look into the mirror, your upper lip is coated in crimson.

“Fuck,” you whisper to yourself again, and bend over the basin. The sound of running water almost drowns out Jeonghan’s footsteps, so you jump a bit when you hear his voice.

“Let’s go to a club,” he says. You straighten, holding a napkin to your nose, and glance back at him. He’s leaning against the doorframe, arms folded over his chest. “Sounds like you need to get drunk,” he says, shrugging.

Your lips part. “Okay.” You turn and grab another napkin. “Sure, yeah, let’s go.”

The teeming throngs of people seem to envelope you, like a piece of paper folded over and over. The air in the nightclub is stale but cold, with undercurrents of sour sweat and sweet coke syrup. You wouldn’t call yourself a stranger to this scene, but for some reason, it feels foreign.

You weave your way through the crowd on the dance floor, an untouched glass in your hand. Although the whole ordeal had been Jeonghan’s idea, he’d disappeared less than ten minutes after you came, no doubt off buying pretty girls drinks. Being seen with you would probably ruin his night, but at least someone’s living their single life to the fullest.

You, on the other hand, have not been having fun at all. It’s not entirely unexpected, since the whole reason you’d said yes to the idea was because you’d felt bad about snapping at him. Usually, you go drinking to unwind after a stressful week, but today you just can’t seem to get into it. You suspect it’s because you’re alone. The music is loud and heavy and while you remember noting that it’s one of your favorite songs, all you can hear right now is the bass. You feel it in your skull and your teeth and jarring all up your sciatic nerve, sending little jolts through your spine. If you didn’t have a headache before, you’re definitely close to getting one now.

Someone brushes past you, and you almost spill the drink in your hand all over the dress. Annoyed, you turn to snap, but they’re already gone by the time you’ve turned around. You sigh, massaging your temple with your free hand, and sit down at the first table you see, placing the glass with the red drink sloshing around inside. The pulsating lights make the surface of the liquid flash, turning it orange and pink and even green. You don’t even remember what it is supposed to be.

With a deep sigh, you pull the glass off the table and nurse it in your lap, head dropping from exhaustion. Maybe if you had someone to dance with you, but your choleric disposition has a habit of chasing people away, and tonight you’ve dialed it up by about a hundred.

A shadow looms over you, blocking the lights, and the color winks out of the drink in your lap. You look up with a glower, ready to chastise what is undoubtedly another hopelessly drunk guy looking to hit on single girls, but falter when you manage to make out the man’s features.

Jeonghan’s blonde hair looks lilac in the lighting. His hands are in his pockets, and he’s got that white shirt on again, but the lights have bled into it like with your drink, turning it different colors. For a moment, neither of you move, him looking down at you and you matching his stare from the seat.

“Are you drunk?”

You shake your head mutely.

If he doubts your honesty, he doesn’t show it. “Wanna get out of here?”

It’s stupid, but you feel bad. You’ve never known him to be into the whole party scene, but maybe he’s gotten different hobbies since you split up, and you feel like you’re taking that away from him. “Don’t you want to stay?” you ask, setting the glass on the small table. “I know the way back.”

He offers you a small smile. “You know how I feel about places like this,” he answers as you prepare to leave. Then why did you suggest it in the first place? you want to ask, but dare not utter a word. “Well then—” He offers you a hand, the smile softening— “my lady?” 

His voice is low, but you hear it like an arrow singing through the noise. “As my lord pleases,” you murmur with an incline of your head, a smile creeping onto your lips as you take his hand.

Jeonghan tugs you through the crowd, his grip gentle yet firm. You pull yourself closer to him, marveling at how the sea of people seems to part before him, like he’s a warm knife going through butter. “You should’ve told me if you didn’t want to come,” he yells back at you.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to,” you explain, wrapping an arm around yourself as the two of you step out into the night air. It’s much colder outside even with the crowd, and you barely manage to suppress a shiver. “I thought it might be—fun.”

“But it wasn’t?”

You shake your head stiffly, shoulders raised against the late night chill. It’s only then that you realize your right hand is still intertwined with his, with you almost hanging off his arm. Flushing, you extract it quickly, folding your arms across your chest. “Let’s just go back to the hotel.”

You can’t see his face, but you imagine him burning holes into the side of your face. But he only nods.

Back at the hotel, you lean against the basin in the washroom, staring at yourself in the foggy mirror. Your face looks back at you from the parts where you wiped off the mist with the heel of your palm, smokey-eyed, your makeup smudged. The cold ceramic seems to cut into your hands, but you’re grateful for it.

With the bathroom door left ajar, you can hear Jeonghan in the connecting room. “Sorry about ruining your night,” you offer with the most apologetic tone you can summon, but your heart feels as numb as your fingertips. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you hear him say, his voice feeling like it’s coming from a tunnel. You know exactly what’s gotten into you though. 

You swallow against the hard knot of dryness that has lodged itself in your throat. Your head is pounding, and you feel like something is splitting you apart from the inside, like a block of ice in your chest that refuses to melt. Am I really that cold inside? Throughout this trip, you’ve found yourself wishing multiple times that the distance between you and Jeonghan didn’t feel so great, but now the thought overwhelms you, washing over you like a riptide, and you feel like you’s gotten into you to sea.

You think about just giving in, but you want to preserve some semblance to self respect. Although none of your concerns feel grounded—Jeonghan’s been the perfect gentleman since after you broke down on him. The memory of your last argument eight—now nine—months ago, his harsh words cutting you down, they all feel so far away. So unreal. You wonder if you imagined breaking up.

“I shouldn’t act so immature, right?” you wonder aloud, and spin around to face him. Jeonghan’s standing just outside the bathroom, fiddling with the cuff of his shirt, and blinks at your question. “I mean, we’re not in high school anymore.”

His brow twitches, like he’s about to frown. “You’re not acting immature.”

You feel slightly hysterical. There’s exactly one thing you want from him—a reaction. Even though you know it’s only going to make things worse. “You don’t think so?” you ask, very quietly.

The frown finally manifested itself on his face. “Are you drunk?” he asks again, enunciating each word slowly and carefully.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Jeonghan.” There’s a wild edge to your voice that has him tilting his head. “Why are you so—so—” Blank. Unaffected. Maddening. “Calm?”

The frown flickers away, and once again, he goes back to looking as unemotional as an alabaster statue. Just as beautiful, driving you insane with a feeling that you can’t quite put into words. “What would you rather have me be?”

One second you’re leaning against the doorframe, fingernails gouging into the wood, and the next second you’re on him, reaching out like you’re about to claw his face off. Before you know it, you’re kissing Jeonghan with all the viciousness of a bite. 

Your hands grip his shoulders, then slide up to his neck and down to his upper back. You can feel his shirt creasing where your nails dig into it, so desperately that you think they might leave crescent-shaped scars. “What do you think?” you hiss into his ear as he stumbles, stepping back to steady himself, his hands coming to your hips. You lean into him, returning to his lips, and then he’s kissing you back.

Jeonghan slides his hand over the diaphanous material of your dress, reaching up to slide into your hair, deepening the kiss. His other hand grips your waist, pulling you as close to himself as humanly possible. His arm crushes you against himself as his lips part against yours, kissing you like he was breathing from you, as desperate as if he were drowning.

It’s as if he’s come alive under your touch, so different from the unemotional front he’d displayed just seconds earlier. His hands roam your body, exploring, tracing, remembering. You open yourself to him, letting every doubt and second thought be washed away by the tide of emotion that rages inside you. Jeonghan tastes like strawberries, his lips soft and sweet, and you feel like putty in his hands, but you still manage to push him into the bed. You’re in his lap now, legs on either side of him, slowly and teasingly tracing the roof of his mouth with the tip of your tongue.

Jeonghan’s hands travel up your waist to your breasts, and you press your lips to the junction of his jaw and neck, right over the pulse. He moans into your mouth, and you feel hot all over—the good kind of hot, the kind that makes you feel like you’re standing in his fire, sweating harder to feel more keenly the wind against your skin. It starts in the pit of your stomach and spreads to your core, your chest that’s flush against his, your hands as you pin his shoulders to the mattress. You kiss him again, hands moving to his chest as you start to unbutton his shirt.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jeonghan breathes, covering your hands with his. You make an impatient noise at the back of your throat, but pause, pushing yourself up so you’re straddling him. “You’re not drunk.”

You give him a black look.

“Okay, okay.” His breaths are coming in pants, each as ragged as the last. “I…I don’t have a condom—”

“I do,” you cut him off in the middle. He gives you a questioning look, and you huff. “I was going to get laid, okay? One way or another.”

His lips part, and for a long moment, no sound comes out of them. “Are you sure?” he asks lamely.

You stare at him, flabbergasted. “What do you think?” you demand again. He’s such a sight under you, with a half-unbuttoned shirt and swollen lips, that you’re having trouble stringing words together. “Jeonghan—I don’t know what it is that’s holding you back, or—or if you just don’t want to have sex with me, but—”

“Not like this,” he interrupts. There’s a softness to his voice, even as he looks up at you with heavy-lidded eyes. Your hand twitches where it’s lying on his chest. “I mean. You’re not in the right state of mind—”

You’re incredulous. “It doesn’t have to mean anything, Jeonghan,” you say, petulance creeping into your voice as you struggle to maintain your composure. “I’m upset and frustrated and I really need this, okay?” Your voice cracks just slightly, but it’s enough for the air to get knocked out of him. 

Some part of you tells you not to do this. To apologize, maybe laugh it off with a shitty joke about getting rid of the tension, act like you don’t want to open him up and climb into him. Sex has never been the solution to your problems. But you’re on a mean bad decision streak, so you just bite down on your lip, swallowing your feelings.

“Please touch me,” you whimper, and Jeonghan takes in a sharp breath, briefly closing his eyes before moving to oblige. 

His hands go back to your waist, but this time he flips your positions. He grasps the hem of your dress, and you stretch your arms, letting him tug it up and off your frame. You watch as his eyes rove over you, and his pupils darken, swallowing the warm brown of his eyes. Jeonghan leans down next to your ear, and you feel the dent in the mattress next to your head where his palm presses into it.  “Remember,” he says, as your stomach flutters weakly, “you asked for this.”

Jeonghan’s knee nudges yours to part your thighs, and the next thing you feel is two of his fingers pressing against the already-damped seat of your panties. “Didn’t expect to be so wet already,” he murmurs, and your face heats up like he toom a match to it. “Is that what you meant by frustrated?” Wordlessly, you arch against him, eager. “Hips,” he commands, and you raise your hips to allow him to pull your panties down your legs, where you agitatedly kick them off your ankles.

You suck in an anticipatory breath as his fingers push against your unclothed core. He doesn’t even need to look for your clit—the pad of his thumb is pressed against the bundle of nerves a second later, rubbing circles into it. You screw your eyes shut and throw your head back, clenching your thighs around his arm. “Oh god,” you gasp. “Oh god oh fuck—”

You cut yourself off with a sharp inhale to grab his forearm, digging your fingers into it as he flicks a finger against your clit. “You’re so sensitive,” Jeonghan remarks, a smug smirk painted on his face. “Always were. That’s what made playing with you so much fun.”

You open your eyes just to narrow them at him, panting. “Oh, finally, there he is,” you drawl breathlessly. “The resident devil of—Jeonghan!”

He has the gall to laugh as your entire body jerks in response to his middle finger pushing past your folds and into your heat. “Admit it. You like me better that way,” he counters, adding another finger inside you. You arch your back, sucking his fingers deeper inside your cunt as he curls the digits in your core.

“I did admit it,” you breathe. It’s astounding, how quickly the two of you fall back into the familiar play, trading words back and forth like you’ve been doing this all your life. His thumb swipes down against your slit, collecting your wetness and massaging it back into your clit. You buck against his hand, mewling. “Fuck, Jeonghan, pleasepleaseplease—”

Watching him like this, you suddenly remember that no matter how mild-mannered he may seem to the untrained eye, Jeonghan is neither calm nor reserved. He is sanguine, a hunter in the night, smelling blood from a mile away. And you've always been his favorite plaything.

“There’s a good girl,” he praises, but his fingers pull away a second later. You bemoan the loss of the friction, desperately rubbing your aching thighs together for any sort of relief. Jeonghan’s fingers dig into the inside of your thighs, prying them apart firmly. You begin to protest, but he quells you with a look. “But I can’t let you have it just yet.”

You’re panting. “Fuck you.”

He only smiles. “Condom.”

You gesture towards the bedside table with a tilt of your chin. “Second drawer,” you choke out, feeling like someone’s set a fire to the base of your brain, cutting off your ability to form coherent thoughts. Jeonghan retrieves it, waving the small square packet in the air as if to further provoke you. You settle back onto the sheets, waiting for him to put it on, but instead he leans his weight back against you, playfully nipping at your collarbone. You grit your teeth, grabbing the front of his shirt.

“You can be such an asshole sometimes, you know that?” You hiss, and start unbuttoning his shirt hastily. 

“Well, I tried being nice, and you hated that,” he murmurs against the base of your throat, sending vibrations through your sternum. You fling open his shirt, and he takes it off fully, balling it up and throwing it to some dark corner of the room. “Aren’t you hurrying too much?” he says, but when you roll down against his hips, the bulge straining against the seat of his pants is unmistakable.

“Aren’t you talking too much?” you fire back, and he chuckles. You hear the sound of the packet tearing and the subsequent unzipping of his pants. Jeonghan rubs the head of his cock against your slick heat, almost making you sob, and pushes it in.

Your fingers claw against his back when he slowly rolls his hips into yours, sending a wave of pleasure through your body. “I forgot how good you felt,” he rasps, sidling his hands under your arms and pulling them off him. The heel of his palms skims your forearm, reaching up to meet your wrist. When he presses his fingertips against the palm of your hand, you open up to him like a flower in bloom, letting him twine your fingers with his in a slow, decisive motion.

The head of his cock brushes against your sweet spot, and your mind goes blank with bliss. Jeonghan says your name like a prayer as he pushes deeper into you, harder, and the feeling of hot-and-cold pleasure stirs in your abdomen. His pace quickens, hips snapping faster against yours, and you begin to feel dizzy and delirious. 

You gasp his name, and he shudders as he breathes out, all but falling against you. His fingers tighten around yours as he moves, the tip of your nose nudging his, his forehead cool and damp with sweat where it meets yours. He draws your orgasm out, still fucking into you as you reach your climax. You call out his name as you ride out your high, and his face twists with desire so devastating that it looks almost like pain. He thrusts into you once, twice, only a few more times before he comes, almost collapsing on top of you when he finishes. The pent-up frustration is gone, you realize as you lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, along with the misery and confusion and anger. 

You clean yourself off in the bathroom in silence, as he wipes off your makeup with a gentleness that you’d almost forgotten. Neither of you speak, but the silence is heavy and comfortable like a winter blanket. A voice at the back of your head is screaming at you about consequences, but it’s small and tin-like and easy enough to tune out in the face of Jeonghan’s lips brushing against your temple.

Plenty of time for regret in the morning.

And, oh boy, does the regret hit like a fucking truck.

You’re the first one up, waking to the feeling of soft blankets on your bare skin and Jeonghan’s sleeping face just inches from yours. Startled, you sit up, the strap of your bra slipping off one shoulder.

Then you’re slipping off the covers and making a beeline for the bathroom, stopping only to grab your phone off the bedside table before locking the door behind you. You lean against it heavily as your legs seem to give out, breathing hard as if you just woke up from a nightmare. 

You slept with your ex last night. The one thing your friends with active dating lives told you never to do. And it was all your idea.

Fuck.

Still trying to steady yourself, you sit down heavily on the edge of the toilet seat, placing your head in your hands. It was a stupid decision, and you know that—hell, you’d known that going into it—but now it’s time to deal with the aftermath. Jeonghan himself is going to wake up in no time, and you don’t even want to think about how he’s going to react.

You try to think of someone smarter than you, but after your actions last night, the bar proves to be pretty low. Your first thought is Joshua, but you feel even more like shit when you think of calling him, so reject that option out of hand. Someone who’d know what to do, you think to yourself as you shakily dial the number on your phone, fingers trembling.

She picks up on the fourth ring. “Hey, girliepop,” Mina greets in a bright, peppy voice, as your shoulders sag with relief. “I feel like I haven’t heard from you in ages. What’s up? How’s home?”

You don’t waste a second. “I did something really, really bad.”

A pause. “Do you need help hiding a body?”

“What? No. I slept with Jeonghan.” You cover your mouth, briefly closing your eyes. Saying it out loud makes it sound even worse. “I’m so screwed.”

“The hot ex-boyfriend? Oh, honey, don’t worry, that’s a mistake we all make at least once in our lives,” she says sympathetically. “Were you drunk?”

You squint. “No…”

“Okay,” she says slowly, and you wince. “Do you…want to do it again?”

At that, you pause. Do you want to do it again? You hadn’t even thought of it before this. “I mean…” You trail off, doubtful. “The sex was pretty great, but…”

You can imagine her twirling a lollipop stick between her fingers, sucking thoughtfully on the candy. “I don’t know, I’m gonna need a lot more context,” she asks finally. “Why did you guys break up? How long were you together? What kind of person is he? It depends on a lot of things.” Another pause, and you can almost see her raising her eyebrows at you, like, well? “You gotta give me something to go on here.”

You try to think of an answer, but every thought feels muddled, like you’ve reached peak brain capacity. “Um,” you start, haltingly, “we have a lot of history, I guess.”

She hums, which sounds like a muted buzz through the line. “Like what? Childhood best friend type of history? On-and-off kind of history?”

You close your eyes, focusing intently. “Um…well…we have known each other since we were in grade school. And we dated for most of high school, and almost two years after that. Then we…we broke up in October, last year.”

“Why?”

That’s a loaded question. You pass a hand over your face, trying to think of how you can explain it. You remember there being so many reasons for it, but now that you’re trying to remember them, not a single coherent-sounding explanation presents itself. “It’s complicated?”

Mina tuts. “I get it if you don’t want to talk about it, but I can’t help you if I don’t know what the problem is, babe.”

“I’m so confused,” you lament, biting your lip. You try to explain the situation as best as you can, how you decided to ditch your plans and go on a fuckass road trip with your ex. Everything comes out like a barrage: all the doubts you’ve had about your relationship with Jeonghan, the constant second-guessing yourself, all your worries about his inconsistent behavior. By the time you’re done, Mina’s gone silent on the other side. 

She doesn’t say anything for a long time, so you listen to the soft crackling of her breathing mixing with the sounds of traffic coming in through the tiny window on the opposing wall. “Oh, honey,” comes her fizzy voice from the speaker finally. “Now I wish I’d convinced you to go on that blind date.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah. It’s just… Every sensible bone in my body is telling me I’ve made some kind of mistake, that I’ve crossed some invisible line, but it was so easy,” you tell her. “Last night, when we—it felt like old times. As if nothing had ever happened. And now I’m wondering if that’s what I’ve wanted all this time.”

“I almost wish you’d come to me with a murder to cover up, because at least I’d be able to help you then,” she replies. “But if you think that maybe this is what you want, and if he wants the same thing, then you can still work it out, you know? You’re a smart girl. You can figure out what you want.”

A smile tugs at the corner of your lips. “I wouldn’t be so sure,” you murmur, using your pinky to trace a crescent into your bare knee. “But thanks.”

Her grin is crystal-clear in your mind. “I’ve got faith in you.”

“That makes one of us,” you quip, and she laughs as you hang up. 

The call didn’t help much, but you’re glad to have gotten some things off your chest. The narrow walls of the bathroom don't feel so suffocating anymore. All right. You pull your knees up decisively, straightening your spine. It’s my problem to fix now, you think. Even if you don’t feel calm, you have to at least act like you are.

Taking a deep breath, you unlatch the door and step outside, closing it slowly behind yourself. As you’d thought, Jeonghan is already up and dressed. Well, kind of. He has his boxers on, and the shirt from last night, crumpled and still unbuttoned. You stare, frozen in place, as he turns and notices you. A beaming smile spreads across his face.

“I went ahead and ordered room service,” he says by way of greeting. “Considering it’s past twelve and absolutely boiling outside, I thought we might stay in for brunch instead. I hope you like pasta, ” he says, shrugging. Then he notices the look on your face. “Is something wrong?”

You blink slowly, as if coming out of a daze. “Something wrong?” you echo, wondering if you sound as bewildered as you feel. “Something…Jeonghan.”

His eyebrows arch. “Yeah?”

“We had sex,” you say slowly.

“We—yes.” He nods, slowly at first, but then more rapidly, until he looks like a bobblehead. “Yeah, but—I mean, we used protection, and we talked about it before, kind of, and I thought it was fine, you know, because—” He’s rambling. You’re beginning to realize he’s not as nonchalant as he appeared a moment ago. “At least we didn’t have sex very publicly in, in the motel, or the car, or—”

It’s like a strange tranquility has descended over you. Jeonghan swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, and he looks anxious. You haven’t seen him anxious in so long.

It feels like the roles have been flipped. You know that’s not quite true, and your poise is only temporary, but at least he’s not giving you unreadable looks every time you try to show vulnerability, tripping you up on your own words. You just hope you’re not going to use this opportunity to do something stupid again.

“Jeonghan,” you interrupt. Mina hadn’t really given you any clear-cut counsel, but it seems her reassurance had been all you needed. “If we’re going to do this, we need to set some ground rules.”

‘No strings attached’ sounds weightless in your mouth, but the words seem to sink like stones into your mind.

Still, now that at least the sexual tension is out of the way, you feel as unburdened as those girls in sanitary pad ads. Jeonghan’s inner navigator must be in touch with his good-for-nothing side, because he turns out to be absolute magic with finding amazing out-of-the-way places. The two of you go off-road for a while, but get lost so you decide to stick to what you could identify on the map. There’s another day spent walking around at a doll museum and pointing out dolls that you thought looked like people you both know.

It feels a bit silly, running around with Jeonghan all the time, but it’s the happiest you’ve been in months. You take baths together, and sometimes you go out for ice cream, and despite some of the lewd activities involved, it feels as sweet and innocent as kids playing house.

After the first time your motel room neighbor bangs on your shared wall to ask you to be quieter during sex, you decide that sticking to places with reliably thick walls is the way to go. That’s how you find out that Jeonghan has developed a taste for long baths.

You’re rummaging around inside your suitcase, looking for the paperback you borrowed from your roommate, untouched since the day you stopped reading it right in the middle. “Jeonghan!” you call, overturning a pair of pajamas. Even in a thin robe, you can feel the heat almost radiating off the floor. “Did you see my book? I’m kind of worried that I left it somewhere.”

No response.

Frowning, you stand, looking at the cream-painted door on the opposing wall. It’s firmly shut, and has been that way for the past hour or so, not a sound escaping from inside. You cross the room and check the handle, not too surprised when it swings open.

One glance inside gives it away. Jeonghan looks at you with displeasure, only his head poking out from behind the side of the bathtub. Well, that and the copy of Gone Girl you’ve been looking for the past half-hour, clasped in a long-fingered hand, his elbow propped against the lip of the porcelain tub. “Do you mind?” the perpetrator asks.

You place your hands on your hips, giving him an unimpressed look. “You’ve been in here for over an hour,” you tell him. “At this rate your body is going to turn into an overripe raisin. Also, that’s my book.”

He turns the book over to regard it. “I thought you weren’t reading it.”

“I wasn’t. Emphasis on was.” You rest your hand on the door handle. “There are other people who want to take a bath, you know.”

“Aw, I was just looking for some entertainment.” He flashes a grin at you. “But if you have a better idea…”

You roll your eyes, but unfasten the robe anyway. Jeonghan’s eyes follow your every move, pupils blown wide. He places a cheek on his arm, eyes half-mast as you slip the robe off your shoulders, letting it pool on the floor at your feet.

“Nothing underneath, huh?” he muses. “Have I been out-maneuvered?”

You ignore that. “Move over,” you say shortly.

“Don’t need to ask me twice.”

(Later, when you’re lying on the bed after having managed to wrestle the book away from him, Jeonghan brushes his fingers against the sliver of exposed skin under your shirt. “Don’t even try,” you warn him, after smacking his hand with the spine of the book.

“I thought you wanted to do something ‘wild’,” he says, making air quotes with his hands. You smack him again.

“Not everything is about sex,” you remind him, not really meaning it.

“‘Everything in the world is about sex except sex.’” he quotes. “‘Sex is about power.’”

You roll onto your side, letting the book fall shut as your forearm hits the mattress. “You’re so full of shit, Yoon Jeonghan,” you tell him, getting a razor-sharp grin in response. But you still let him kiss you a moment later.)

By the time you finally reach the ocean, the air conditioner has been broken for two days, so when you feel the fingers of the first evening breeze sneak in through the lowered top of the window and run themselves through your hair, you almost stop the car there and then.

Jeonghan stops you, reminding you that if you get off you’ll have to walk a pretty long time before you actually get to the beach. You stay put, but when you do get to the beach you’re the first out of the car, standing spreadeagle against the flow to feel the wind on each and every inch of your skin, plastering your clothes to your frame.

“This is so much better than that stupid air conditioner,” you sigh. Jeonghan’s still fishing out that Hello Kitty backpack that contains your towels and sunscreen, so you deign to wait for him instead of going off on your own.

Something pink and plasticky covers your vision. “Here.” He grins, settling the heart-shaped sunglasses on your face. “Now you can finally use these,” he says, and turns to head off.

You fix the sunglasses before following after him. The sand is soft under your feet, shifting to accommodate the shape of your feet as you step over it. You pull your sandals off, tucking your fingers under the bands and opting to carry them at your side so you can feel the grains on your soles.

“I thought there would be more people here,” your not-boyfriend comments.

You look around. A kid is building a sandcastle near a couple that looks over him, turning over buckets to deposit clumps of wet sand to shape them into towers. A bit further away, a head wearing sunglasses pokes out of the ground as its giggling companion packs more sand over the body. Jeonghan’s right; the crowd is tamer than you expected, but it’s probably because it’s getting late and the weather is about to turn icy in no time. 

“I haven’t been to the beach in ages,” he says as you reach the shore. The wind tousles his hair, flapping his shirt around his torso, and he squints against the saline breeze. “Kind of forgot what it feels like.”

You hum contentedly, watching the tiny waves lap at your feet. “When I was a kid, my mom told me I had to dig my feet in before the tide came in, or else I would be carried away by the waves.”

He snorts. “I know. Your mom told me the same thing.”

“Right,” you smile. 

Jeonghan bends to place his hands in the sand in front of him, letting the water wash over them. “Cold,” he says. 

“You know, I did almost get washed out to sea once,” you remember. “Swam too far. There was salty water in my mouth and ears and the ground felt like it was made of hands, trying to drag me down further. My uncle told me that when they finally fished me out, my head was wrapped in kelp. He thought that telling me that would traumatize me, but I just kept swimming out again and again.”

“Stubborn and proud,” he observes. “That sounds like you.”

“Does it?” You grin, bending to scoop some of the water into your palms, and sling it off your fingertips to splash it into his face before he can realize what you’re doing. Jeonghan sputters, stumbling in the sand, and comes up with an indignant hey!

Laughing, you turn to run, and glance back to see him discarding the Hello Kitty bag to chase after you. “It’s the beach, cut me some slack!” you yell back at him. He doesn’t respond, but when he does catch you, it’s around the middle, and his tackle flings both of you into the water, you still laughing. You wrestle unsuccessfully with him for another second before coming up for air, his arms still wrapped securely around your waist.

“No fair,” you complain, but the smile that splits your face is as bright as the sun.

“No fair?” he repeats, expression indignant. “You started it.”

“Okay, but now we’re both wet.” You spit some water out of your mouth. Sure enough, your clothes are drenched, and so are his. Jeonghan staggers to his feet, pulling you up with him. His pale blonde hair is plastered to his forehead, darker where it’s wet, curling at the back of his neck. “And not in the fun way.”

“Who says this way isn’t fun?” He kicks some water at you, and you raise your arms to shield your face. Offering only a glare in retaliation, you turn, wading a little further out so the water is up to your waist. “Are you planning to get washed out again?”

“Hilarious,” you call back without turning. The sun is low in the sky, turning the ocean the colors of fire. Jeonghan comes up behind you and you close your eyes, breathing it all in.

The water tickles your waist where your shirt billows up, and the breeze cuts deliciously sharp on your damp skin, but you only shiver when Jeonghan traces a map on the exposed skin of your back.

You don’t stay in the water for long, dragging yourselves up to the shoreline to make sure you mostly dry off when the sun is still up. Jeonghan’s hair slowly curls as it dries, and he tries to comb the sand out with his fingers to no avail.

“I’m gonna need a nice hot bath after this,” he complains, carding a hand through his hair. “It’s all fun and games going to the beach until you’re digging sand out of your body for the next three weeks.”

“You take a nice hot bath at every opportunity you get,” you remind him, but you share the sentiment. The retrieved backpack swings off one shoulder, slapping against your side with every step. “That was so much fun, though. I wish we’d just come here in the beginning and stayed.”

“Nothing beats hiking for hours up a mountain just to see a yellow ball come up in the sky. You made me wake up at an ungodly hour for that, too.”

“And I’m not gonna apologize.” You stand back in the final rays of the sun, watching it sink into the horizon. Strips of gold glimmer in the blue-green of the water, shimmering like the surface of a polished jewel. “Sometimes I look at the sun on a regular day and wonder how it can do that.”

Jeonghan hums under his breath. His stance is unhurried, shoulders relaxed, hands in his pockets. You lick your lips, feeling the salt sting the raw patches where you’ve managed to break the skin by constantly worrying at it with your teeth.

Now that your mind is beginning to quiet, it’s turning to thoughts of the real world instead. For the last few days, you’ve successfully ignored every single warm tingle or stomach butterfly, every warning sign that came up when you looked at Jeonghan, but casting them aside has only made them weigh heavier on your shoulders. 

It doesn’t have to mean anything, you’d told him, but that had felt more like an excuse. Under the guise of only using each other for sex, you’ve been indulging yourself in far more than that, and it’s plain as day for you to see.

“Jeonghan,” you venture in a hushed voice, and he turns to you quizzically. “Do you ever wonder—do you ever think that you’ve made a mistake?”

Instead of answering, he offers you a lopsided smile and extracts his hand from his pocket, letting it hang in the air next to yours. It’s only your knuckles that brush the back of his hand, but you feel the heat all over—on the backs of your shoulders, north of your abdomen, as a constricting circle around your throat.

“I try not to think too much,” he says, catching your fingers lightly when they graze his. You hesitate, but choose not to pull away. “But I know that’s not your strong suit.”

The sky has gone dark. One by one, the artificial lights switch on, bathing the sand in a pale glow. With his tanned skin and platinum hair, Jeonghan looks like a tallow angel in the light, his mouth a soft rosy line curved into a smile like you’re sharing an inside joke. The breeze flows over the water, lifting his shirt up a shade.

Your heart lurches in your chest, but you manage a smile back. He’s probably right and you’re probably overthinking, but you are as helpless in the face of that knowledge as you were without it. As you murmur and you think too little with numb lips, you can't help but wonder what he’s really thinking. 

Jeonghan thinks this bar is going to be the death of him.

The Shipwreck Tavern must take its name quite seriously, because it smells exactly like how he imagines the interior of a shipwreck must smell—like fish and rotten wood. The place is filled with tough-looking old people, and the bartender must be a wrestler’s grandma, because her arms are as big as his head. Everything inside the pub looks old and feels old, except the new-looking TV that adorns a wall adjacent to the bar, playing a soccer game that seems like the local pastime, judging from the attention it garners among the tavern’s patrons.

There are probably better places the two of you could’ve gone to, but this was the nearest place he’d been able to find with an outdoor shower, and he could’ve sworn he felt a crab in his pants before. Instead of bothering to look for a place to eat, you’d suggested staying at the same place, and he hadn’t known better than to comply.

Jeonghan takes the drinks he ordered from the bar with a nod of acknowledgement, fighting to keep the smile on his face until it’s out of the bartender’s view. As soon as the old lady with the anchor tattoo on her forearm turns her back, he makes a face, turning away from a fellow customer who frowns disapprovingly at his expression. Jeonghan gives him a helpless look, and begins making his way through the crowd to a pool table in the corner.

He knows that you think he’s the more sociable out of the two of you, but he begs to disagree, and the fact that you’re already laughing along with a mean-looking guy with a shaved head is only more proof. You turn slightly to let your eyes glide over the crowd searchingly, stopping when they spot him coming towards you. Something in his chest clenches when he sees your face light up upon seeing him. You wave him over to the table, and he raises the drinks in response.

“You might wanna go slow on these. I think I saw something wiggling in the bottle she poured these drinks from,” he warns as you take the glass from him. You grin, but pay no heed to his warnings, tossing the whole thing back like it’s a regular Tuesday.

“How bad could it be?” Shrugging, you put the drink down and smooth down the front of your skirt, briefly playing with the corner where the slit ends. “Maybe it was like an eel or something.”

“Well, you’re certainly something,” he mutters to himself, raising a disbelieving eyebrow. “Why don’t you go ahead and drink mine too, if you’re so fearless? Might find a shark fin in there.”

“Those are too big to fit in a bottle, silly.” You roll your eyes, taking a cue stick leaning against a corner. “Now let’s get this party started,” you purr, bringing the stick up and across the table and positioning yourself behind it.

Jeonghan shakes his head, but doesn’t try to push down the smile that appears on his face. “Okay,” he sighs, coming around the table to your side, leaning so his face is level with yours. “So you want to keep the stick aligned with your line of sight, and try to aim for the easy pockets first.”

You lick your lips, screwing one eye shut to aim. “You underestimating me?”

“No, it’s just to keep your mood up. Now choose your shot.” You survey the layout of the table once before deciding on a target, arranging your stance to aim accordingly. Jeonghan nods. “Okay, good. Line up, and be careful about the angle.”

Placing the stick’s tip near the cue ball, you bend again. “Like this?”

He reaches over, rearranging your hand that’s splayed against the table so your first two fingers make a bridge. “Balance the cue on top of that,” he says, curling an arm around your waist. His fingertips press against the elbow of your cueing arm, stabilizing it. You shiver slightly as if a cool breeze had just blown through, making his own stomach flutter. “That’s it, like that,” he whispers in your ear, enjoying your reaction as you squirm. “Steady, steady…now try.”

Taking a deep breath, you shoot. The cue ball cuts across the dull green surface, bumping into the black ball and sending it rolling into a corner hole. Grinning, you straighten, pumping a fist in the air. “Nice!”

“Yeah, pretty nice.” Jeonghan nods. “Except we’re playing 8-ball pool, which means if you pocket the 8 ball before all the stripes and solids are gone, you lose.”

A despondent boo erupts from the audience watching the soccer match, exactly in sync with your face as it falls. “You didn’t tell me that before,” you say accusingly. “That’s cheating.”

“Good try though,” he acknowledges, taking a sip of his drink. It tastes just as bad as he’s expected. “And I didn’t cheat, I just withheld information.”

“That’s lying.”

“Tomato-tomato.”

You bring up the cue stick, pointing the polished end at his chest. “I’m about to demolish you,” you challenge.

He grins and takes a stick of his own, tapping it against yours. “Bring it on.”

Jeonghan had intended on leaving the second you were done with your food, but you end up staying for more than a few hours as you keep asking for extra rounds despite continually losing. When you finally agree to leave, it’s way past two, and you walk with a giggly, faintly tipsy stupor so he has to support you all the way to the hotel. 

Instead of falling into bed immediately upon entering the room, you pull him into the bathroom, crashing your lips against his before he has the chance to let a question pass them. Jeonghan closes his eyes, holding you against him as you wrap your arms around his neck, almost dragging him down the floor as you go limp in his arms. Your back hits the wall with a loud thump, but you still don’t let up. “Someone’s eager,” he says as you press kisses along the line of his jaw, settling his hands on your hips.

You let out a soft breath, bunching up his shirt under your fingers. He leans in to kiss you, but you step back, holding him in place. “I was—do you think we should—”

Someone bangs against the other side of the bathroom wall, making both of you jump. “Message received, damn,” Jeonghan mumbles, turning his attention back to you. “Sorry, you were saying?”

You fumble with your words for a second before seemingly giving up, instead smiling brightly. “Nothing. Never mind.”

“Nothing, is it?” He kisses your jaw, and you let out a soft sigh. Your hand drops to his pants, moving to unfasten it, but he stops you. “Shh,” he whispers, brushing his thumb against your lips. “Walls have ears, remember?” he murmurs, as his warm breath fans your face.

You tuck your bottom lip under your teeth, blinking up at him so sweetly that he almost groans. He dips his head, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, the ghost of his smile against your skin. “We have to be quiet,” he says, lips touching the shell of your ear. “If you behave, I’ll make sure you’re well compensated for your efforts.”

Your breath hitches, and you turn your face away, letting out a choking laugh. “Oh yeah? And how are you planning to do that?”

Maintaining eye contact, he sinks to one knee, and slides his hands down from your hips to the back of your thighs. You steady yourself by placing your hands on his shoulders, and he tugs your skirt up, warm palms skimming the cool skin of your thighs. 

“Well, for starters,” he says in a low voice, watching your eyes as they darken, and slips a cold finger just inside the top of the slit in your skirt. “I’m going to make you come on my tongue.”

You watch him with wide eyes, still as a statue. Jeonghan licks a warm line up the inside of your leg, which twitches in response. “Remember, not a sound,” he warns, teeth nipping at your skin. 

“You’re an ass,” you tell him, taking a deep, shuddering breath.

He smiles, and taps at your knee to indicate to you to move it. You swing a leg over his shoulder, adjusting your stance to stabilize yourself. He hooks a thumb into the underside of your panties and pulls it aside, revealing your glistening core in its full glory.

The sight makes his breath catch in his throat. Jeonghan licks his lips, experimentally swiping the tip of his finger along your cunt, and you squeeze his shoulder. “Ticklish?” he asks, and you slide a hand through his hair, giving it an impatient tug. “Always so sensitive,” he tuts, even though the sensation sends a bolt of arousal straight to his dick. “Always had a bite, too.”

“Shut up,” you growl, impatiently pulling his face closer to your core.

“Patience, grasshopper,” he admonishes. He slips the finger between your folds, massaging lazy circles into it, and your grasp on his hair tightens. “Ask me nicely, and maybe I’ll give it to you.”

You grit your teeth, but the pause tells him you’re actually considering it. Your giving up so easily would take all the fun out of it, he decides, and without warning, he tilts his head up and closes his lips around your nub, flicking it with the tip of his tongue.

Your whole body seems to spasm in response, like a puppet that just had its strings pulled taut. Jeonghan grins into your cunt, and increases the pressure on your clit. You whine, rolling your hips against his face, but he holds you in place.

“Not so fast, honey bunny,” he murmurs against your arousal, which only has you straining harder against his hold. “You like that, huh?” he asks, and sinks his index and middle fingers into your hole knuckle-deep. “All those times you called me a silver-tongued devil—how d’you feel about this tongue now?”

As if to prove his point, he laves his tongue leisurely along the entire length of your pussy, making you cry out. “Jeonghan, please,” you moan, and his heartbeat stutters at your desperate pleading. The moment you start begging, he’s a goner. “More—ah—”

He doesn’t even remember that he asked you to be quiet. “Fuck,” Jeonghan snarls, “you know I can’t say no to you, don’t you?” He pulls his fingers out almost entirely, coated in your juices, before thrusting them back inside. He proceeds to bury his face back into your heated cunt, sucking on your swollen clit and finger-fucking you at the same time. You throw your head back, scraping your fingernails against his scalp as he eats you out like a starved man. “No.” he says, pulling away momentarily. “Keep your eyes on me.”

“Ngh—please—” Your words come out in broken moans, but Jeonghan scarcely hears them. He scissors you ruthlessly, stretching you out with his fingers, the other hand leaving dents in your skin where it digs into the soft skin of your thigh. Your orgasm is drawing near, he can tell by the way your walls are spasming around him, so he speeds up his pace, licking and suckling in quick succession, pushing you far past the point of satisfaction. “Jeonghan!”

You come with a cry, your eyes rolling back into your head, back arched against the wall. Jeonghan unlatches his lips from yours unwillingly, pulling back to admire the look on your face, hazy with desire. 

“Fuck,” you breathe once you’ve come down from the high, chest heaving. You let the back of your head fall against the wall with a light thump. “Where did you learn to do that?”

He shrugs with faked nonchalance, grazing your skin with his teeth as he slips your leg from his shoulder. A glint of satisfaction shines in his eye like an ember sparking in a dead bonfire as he gets to his feet. “I’ve been practicing.”

Your shoulders stiffen, and Jeonghan stops in his tracks. “Right,” you murmur, as alarm bells go off in his head. He regrets the words instantly, and moves to take a step towards you, but you’re already turning away and out of his reach, leaning towards your phone that rests precariously on the basin’s edge. “Oh, wow, it’s getting pretty late. I think we should head to bed.”

Jeonghan bites his lip. “Yeah,” he says softly, stepping back to allow you to slip past him and out the door. Stupid, he thinks, licking the remains of your cum from his lips. “I guess so.”

The next morning, after you finished locking the doors behind yourself, you’d come down to the lobby to find Jeonghan flirting with the receptionist.

He had both his elbows on the table, leaning his weight against it as he gave her his best smile, chuckling at some shitty joke he probably cracked himself. She’s pretty, you’d thought as you saw her smile, flushing as she tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ear. He said something else to her, and she giggled, but it had died out quickly when she’d spotted you approaching.

To his credit, Jeonghan dropped his smile as soon as he saw you. You’d deposited the keys, thanking the receptionist with the nicest smile you could manage, but even that wasn’t very nice. He hadn’t said anything as you got to the car, and you feel like shit even though you know he doesn’t owe you an explanation.

Stupid, you think to yourself. Stupid of you to forget that this whole thing was going to be over soon, stupid for caring so much and getting hurt despite yourself, stupid for thinking that Jeonghan would share your concerns. And let’s not forget angry: angry for getting so carried away, especially when you pride yourself on being so careful all the time.

The car hasn’t stopped in hours, not even for a gas refill, and you haven’t had a proper conversation since the drive started except for when Jeonghan tried to offer you a soda.

You’re glad you’re driving, because it gives you an excuse to be silent. Focus on the road. Jeonghan has sensed something off with your mood, but he hasn’t tried to ask you about it, and you don’t know whether to be grateful for him respecting your boundaries or mad for not trying hard enough. 

Now that it’s June the skies have begun to turn an angry, burning orange-red before six o’clock instead of remaining a softer bruised purple. You’ve been in the same position for a while although your neck started to hurt some time ago. It’s getting chilly, but not cold enough to roll the window back up, and you’re determined to fill the silence with the whistling wind for as long as you can.

You must’ve jinxed yourself, though, because the silence is broken in seconds. “Just so you know,” Jeonghan starts, tone light and conversational, “I wasn’t flirting with her.”

You tighten your hands around the wheel, staring so hard at the windshield that you’re surprised it hasn’t melted into a puddle of plastic yet. “I don’t care if you did,” you say tersely, trying and failing to sound normal. “It’s none of my business.”

“I was just asking her if she knew any places we could stay nearby,” he continues, instead of giving up. “And as it turns out, there’s this really great—”

“Actually, I think we should go home.” You cut him off demurely, not taking your eyes off the road in front of you, even though there isn’t another vehicle in sight. “My parents are probably worried about where I’ve run off to, and I’ve been kind of a shit friend to Joshua recently.”

Jeonghan’s mouth flattens into a thin line. “That was a choice you made.”

You scoff, rounding on him with a scornful look on your face. “Oh, so you want to talk about choices now?” you ask, voice full of strife. “Remind me again in case I’ve forgotten—it was your choice to have us break up in the first place, wasn’t it?”

The muscles in his jaw tighten, standing out under his skin where they flex. “Oh, come on. You’re just mad about last night and instead of acknowledging that, you’re changing the topic.”

“Okay, yeah, I’m mad,” you admit, “but that’s not why I’m bringing this up, and you know it. I believed you the first time you said anything. We can’t just never talk about what happened nine months ago—you can’t just sweep something that big under the rug and expect things to be fine and fucking dandy.”

“Who cares about something that happened months ago?” he asks angrily.

“Are you serious?” you ask, laughing disbelievingly. A chill is beginning to settle over your skin even as the air simmers at a hundred degrees.

He tugs an opposing sleeve, and throws the other hand up in exasperation. “I don’t see how it matters anymore.”

You stop the car.

Jeonghan opens his mouth, and closes it again. "You know, this whole stopping the car in the middle of the road thing is getting old," he says with a hint of exasperation in his voice.

“You don’t see how it matters?” You whip around to look him in the eye, and he shrinks back just a bit. “Jeonghan, you said getting into this relationship was a fucking mistake!”

He stares back at you, unyielding. 

“And now you want to act like that never happened?” you press on. “How did you expect this to turn out? That we would be on the road forever, always going nowhere? That you could get away with never addressing all the things you said, just because I never brought it up?” You scoff. “Did you ever give a shit, or was this whole thing just a way to get into my pants?”

Your eyes are burning, and not just from the heat. Jeonghan’s hands are balled up around the seatbelt, the skin around his mouth pulled tight. You don’t dare to look away, hoping against hope for him to finally say something, anything, even though you’ve been in a dozen arguments like this that all ended the same way. This time, you pray with bated breath, this time it has to be different.

“I guess it was just a bad idea,” he says finally, quietly.

Every tensed muscle in your body goes limp, and you’re pulling yourself out of the suffocating car before your mind has even formed a coherent thought, dying to get away from him. The asphalt seems to sizzle, and you wonder in a daze if the road is just a mirage and you’ve actually been standing in one spot this entire time.

You’re standing in the heat, the warm wind making your skin sting with sweat, and even with your hands covering your face you can still sense Jeonghan’s presence behind you. When you turn, there he is, standing still in front of the car. The sun’s rays reflect off of the hood of the car and into your eyes, and you blink back against the stinging brought on by the forceful brightness. For a second you can’t see the expression on his face as he shifts, his silhouette outlined in shadow by the glaring sun, but then your eyes adjust to the light and the look on his face makes something crack and split apart in your chest.

You know then that he will not say anything. He will watch you walk away, again and again and again, with that stoic set of his shoulders and the proud line of his mouth, but he will not say a word. You want to grab him and shake him, scream at him to say something, but you know that his words, in all their vehemence and vitality, are reserved only for him. And you’re going to stay outside, forgotten in the sun, where he hung you out to dry all those months ago.

You wrap your arms around yourself, feeling a twinge of pain against the side of your ribs where his fingers dug into your skin last night. For a moment, you can almost feel his hot breath on your neck, his teeth on your thighs, but you blink, and suddenly the distance between you feels too great. Jeonghan’s eyes bore into yours, the heels of his palms braced against the hood of the car he leans on, and even in the sweltering heat you have to suppress a shiver. 

“I knew this was a bad idea,” you whisper. “Even when I didn’t have a choice.” 

A muscle in his neck pulls taut, but all he does is lift one corner of his mouth in a lazy, sardonic smile. You watch him pretend not to notice as his grip turns white-knuckle-tight.

“Needs must when the devil drives, sweetheart,” is all he says.

You have no response to that. “Right,” you whisper. Your fingers are trembling, and you’re definitely in no state to drive, but you’re suddenly seized with the desire to get away from it all. Away from him. “Take me home, Jeonghan.”

Peonies have always been Joshua’s favorite. 

Even though you’ve never been big on elaborate apologies, the guilt you feel after having ignored your injured best friend for the past couple of weeks is strong enough that you end up buying a whole bouquet for him. Joshua’s mom’s face lights up when she sees you, and you give her a shy, apologetic smile right before she sweeps you up into a bone-crushing hug.

Your eyes widen, but you wrap your arms around her anyway, feeling stupidly emotional at the warm reception. “Oh, sweetheart, I haven’t seen you in so long!” she gushes, and you ignore the painful squeeze of your heart upon hearing the endearment. “If Josh had told me that you were coming, I would’ve made your favorite cherry brownies.”

“No problem, ma’am, I’ll be sticking around for a while,” you tell her with a warm smile.

“Oh, you must be looking for him,” she says, “Poor kid’s been cooped up for weeks, he misses you so much. I think he’s in the backyard, or I would’ve called for him.”

The backyard? You wonder what a guy with a broken leg is doing in the backyard—definitely not sunning himself in this weather—but you thank her anyway. Gripping your bouquet, you head to the back of the house, pushing past the screen door and stepping into the uncut grass of the Hongs’ backyard.

And stop short.

“What the fuck?” you sputter.

Joshua almost trips over the black-and-white football, steadying himself last minute to look up at you with wide eyes. Your grip on the flowers has tightened even further as you imagine it to be the boy’s throat. “Hey, ____,” he says with a strained grin. “I didn’t know you were coming! This is such a lovely surprise. And are those flowers? For me? Aw, you shouldn’t have!”

You stare him down, unrelenting. “I didn’t realize broken bones could heal themselves in less than three weeks,” you say pleasantly, a contrast to the death glare that pins him in place. “Shouldn’t you be resting, sweet Joshua?”

“Oh, um, the doctors were pretty surprised too. Miracle recovery, they called it.” He lets out a forced laugh as you cock an eyebrow menacingly. Joshua sighs, dropping the facade. “Okay, that’s not working, huh.”

“No,” you tell him. “But I can break your leg right now to make it all true, because I know how much you hate lying to your best friend.”

He puts his hands up placatingly, taking a careful step back. “Hey, hey, hey, I can explain,” he says, sweating. “Why don’t we go back inside and get you something to drink, and then I can tell you why I lied,” he suggests with a nervous smile. “You must be parched.”

You give him a dirty look. “For blood, yeah,” you mutter. “This better be fucking good, Hong, or I’m going to break both your legs.”

Back in his room, you opt to stand near the doorway in case he tries to bolt. You’d tried to upend the peonies into the bin, but he’d grabbed them before you could, saying that the poor flowers weren’t to blame. Joshua sits on the edge of his bed, hugging the bouquet to his chest, and you fold your arms threateningly across your chest. “Alright,” you say waspishly. “Explain yourself.”

He looks down at his shoes, see-sawing the heels of his cleats back and forth. “Before you get mad,” he starts, “you gotta remember one thing. I did it for you.”

Your lips curl downwards into an unimpressed frown. “Let me get this straight. You lied to me about your leg being broken, sending my ex-boyfriend in your place to take me home, for my sake?”

Joshua winces. “That sounds pretty terrible when you put it like that,” he confesses. “But, yeah, I did.” You unfold your arms, making as if to step towards him, and he yelps, putting his hands up again. “Let me explain!”

“You’ve explained plenty,” you tell him.

“No, I still have stuff left!” he pleads. “Listen, after you broke up with that guy, you weren’t the one who had to deal with him afterwards. While you went back to college, I had to stay here and be there for him while he was moping all over the place.”

You roll your eyes. “I would hardly call you and Jeonghan friends. There’s no reason he would come to you for comfort.”

“I mean, yeah, he didn’t,” he admits, “but this is a small town. Do you know how hard it is to escape the news of one break-up, especially one as high-profile as yours.”

“High profile?”

“You know what I mean,” he chides. “The point is, you didn’t see him afterwards. He was really torn up about it, you know?” You purse your lips as Joshua leans forward, his expression turning serious. “I didn’t have any sympathy for him in the beginning, because of what you told me, but the more I saw of him the more difficult it became to match up the idea of the Jeonghan I knew and the Jeonghan you said told you all those things.”

Scoffing, you look away, unable to stand the sight of Joshua’s imploring eyes. “Just because you couldn’t make sense of it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

He sighs. “Look, I’m not defending him. What he said to you—about not seeing the point in putting in effort, that you were just playing at charades, and the thing about your relationship being a childish mistake—”

You grit your teeth. “I get it. I was there, remember?”

“Yeah.” Joshua scratches his head, a thin line appearing between his brows. “He had no right to say any of that to you, but I still felt like there was something I was missing, so I went to talk to him.”

Defeated, you throw your hands up. “Of course you did.”

“And I don’t think he meant any of that. I mean, he still shouldn’t have said that shit, but…” Your eyes narrow to snakelike slits, and he shakes his head hastily. “Haven’t you ever gotten the feeling that despite all his bravado, the guy just doesn’t know how to express his feelings without getting defensive about them?”

You hesitate, biting your lip. Joshua sees the shift in your mood, and persists. “I might be wrong, and maybe breaking up with him was the best thing that ever happened to you,” he says, “but if there was the slightest chance of miscommunication, I would be a shitty best friend if I allowed you to let him go without a chance to set things right.” He tilts his head, sitting back. “So I faked a broken leg and kind of tricked him into thinking I was doing him a favor by letting him go get you in my place.”

“You tricked Jeonghan.” You can’t lie, you’re impressed. “Wow, you’re insane.”

“Um, I would say talented,” he argues. “Anyway, he was happy to do it. I think he was secretly looking for a chance to talk to you, so I thought a five hour drive might give him enough courage to tell you how he really felt. Then when you came back, I thought I’d surprise you, and we’d get to go on that trip after all. And then you texted me that you were eloping with him—”

“That’s not what it was.”

“—and I thought that my idea had worked. But then…” he trails off, and looks down at the flowers in his hands.

“But what?” you prompt.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” he says. “Something clearly went wrong.”

You sigh, and walk over to sit down heavily beside him. “It was going fine in the beginning,” you tell him. “But we didn’t actually talk about the argument, and after a point, I didn’t know how to bring it up. Then we sort of…” You wince.

Joshua frowns. “What?”

You think about all the different times the two of you fucked instead of talking about your feelings. “We kissed,” you finally speak, and Joshua shakes his head disappointedly. “A few times.”

“I’m getting the feeling that’s not all you did.”

You shush him. “And then it sort of reached a boiling point, and we argued. Again.” Your heart hurts as you remember the argument from only hours ago. “And he said some messed up things. Again.”

Joshua is silent for a few moments. Then he slings an arm over your shoulders, squeezing you against him in an incredibly comforting side hug. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles into your hair, and you blink back tears. 

“I missed you.” You reach up to wrap your hands around his shoulders. Joshua’s hugs are as comforting and as restrictive for your breathing as his mom’s. “I had the worst fucking time, but it was also the best fucking time,” you sniffle into the crook of his neck. Then you spot a gleaming trophy on his ledge. “Oh, so you guys did end up winning the playoffs.”

Joshua looks back, and nods. “Oh, yeah, the second half was absolutely insane. Remind me to tell you about it.”

You tuck your chin into his shoulder. “I still can’t believe I threw a whole tantrum about not getting to go on a trip,” you say, “when I could’ve just come back and done it anyway.”

“Don’t worry, we still have weeks to make up for that.” Joshua rubs your back comfortingly. “He’s an idiot.”

“Yeah, he is,” you mumble, speech slightly obstructed by your cheek squished against Joshua’s shoulder. “I just thought things might be different this time.”

“Me too,” he whispers.

You press your face back into his neck. "You're not off the hook, by the way."

Joshua sighs.

Joshua’s mom insists on throwing you a welcome back party that night, and despite being both emotionally and physically exhausted, you can’t find it in yourself to say no. She makes you your favorite cherry brownies, as promised, which are the only thing you eat before your appetite runs out.

You sit alone at the table after everyone is done eating and the guests have dispersed around the house, dragging your spin around the empty hollow of your bowl. Your shoulders feel heavy with the weight of all the mistakes you’ve made. As you sit there idly, you keep running your last conversation with Jeonghan over and over in your head, wondering what you could’ve said to make it go differently. 

You close your eyes, and for a moment you’re back to last October, standing on the ice-slicked ground outside the diner where you’ve celebrated every birthday with Jeonghan since eighth grade. His eyes are vacant and vicious and there’s ice trapped around your ribs that seems to be getting harder and sharper with every breath, and you’re screaming at each other until your throat is raw and your tears freeze in the cold.

There’s no point in crying over spilt milk, you suppose, and you’ve always been a hothead. You and Jeonghan together are about as mild as an active volcano.

Sighing, you get to your feet, the table cover rustling over your knees. You’ve stayed for about as long as you could have, and now you just want to sleep. I’m just gonna tell her I’m tired, you think, and head towards the backyard in hopes to catch Joshua’s mom conversing with someone there.

You step outside into the dark to find a single person sitting on the rickety old swing. Frowning, you move closer to figure out if it’s her, but the frame is too tall and masculine to be the person you’re looking for. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else,” you tell them as they raise their head, taking a step back.

“No. Stay.” A hand reaches out to wrap around your wrist, tugging it towards the swing. It’s then that you notice the silvery-blond hair, lit up by the smattering of light that shines out past the half-open screen door. Jeonghan gets to his feet, and you freeze. “Please.”

“I didn’t realize you were invited,” you say stiffly.

“I wasn’t. I just came to look for you,” he says. There’s an earnest touch to his voice, giving you pause. “To apologize.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling your hackles rise. “What could you possibly have to say now?” You free your hand from his grasp, taking another step back. “You’ve made it sufficiently clear that this never meant anything to you.”

“Of course it meant something!” he yells. He takes a deep breath, chest still rising and falling. “I never wanted to hurt you. I was—I was scared.”

The notion sounds so ridiculous that you want to laugh in his face. But his eyes are still on yours, voice is gravelly and somber, and you feel like you’re rooted to the spot.

“Scared of what?” you whisper.

“Scared to repeat history,” he replies. “Scared to let my pride get the best of me again, say things I don’t mean. Lot of good that did me, since trying to avoid talking about it just led me to making the same mistakes.”

Your throat constricts painfully, like it’s being choked from the inside. “You really hurt me, you know,” you say hoarsely. “I never wanted to see your face again.”

A small, sad smile touches his lips. “I know,” he says. “Knowing that you didn’t want to see me made everything so much scarier. What if you just refused to come back with me? What if you’d rather just stay back or actually take the bus?” He seems to struggle with his words for a second. “When you agreed to come on that stupid road trip, I felt like I had struck the lottery.”

Your vision is blurry, and you blink rapidly against the oncoming tears. “Thank you,” you whisper, choking back the emotion that surges up your throat, “for telling me that. But,”

He waits.

“That’s not enough,” you complete tiredly. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Jeonghan asks, eyes blazing. He looks just as tired as you are. “Is it because of what I said? Because—I don’t know how to make you believe this, but I didn’t mean any of what I said.”

“No.” It feels like the only reason you’re standing still is because every cell in your body has had the energy sucked out of it, leaving you bone-weary. “It’s because you never say anything. And I’m sick of it, Jeonghan.” Your face twists as you try not to start sobbing like a little kid. “I can’t live knowing that you can go back to pretending to be that wooden, unfeeling shell of a person every time I rip myself to shreds in front of you. I hate that you never say a word, that you’re willing to watch me walk away rather than choke back that damn pride of yours. I’m fucking sick of it.”

His eyes soften. “I’m not the same person I used to be, sweetheart. Losing you taught me that,” he says quietly. “Even if I forget that at times myself. Please, just let me show you.”

“I'm not a girl anymore, Jeonghan,” you say tightly. “I don’t know how many second chances I have left in me.”

“That's what I'm afraid of.” He moves towards you, cupping your face. “Because you still feel like a girl to me… and I still feel like a boy around you. I'm afraid that you're growing up and away and out of me. That’s how I felt last October, when you came back so different, and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I thought you wouldn’t need me anymore.”

“Then why didn't you say that?” you demand, lungs burning. “All this time, I've been—” You finally let the tears flow. “I’ve been so…”

“Because I'm still seventeen," he breathes, "every time I look at you, choking on my words as you come down the stairs in your prom dress. I might be a devil, but when it comes to you, words still fail me." 

There’s a barbed wire wrapped around your spine, a spike stabbing into each vertebrae, that tightens and tightens with every word that comes out of his mouth. He laughs under his breath, as if remembering something. “You see,” he says, “being around you kind of activates my fight or flight instinct.”

A broken laugh bubbles to your lips, and you blink against the tears that seem to make everything brighter around you. “You suck,” you tell him honestly, making him smile as if you’d just told him he was the most perfect man on earth. Standing straighter, you school your features into an expression of formality, and clear your throat. “So how are you planning on not making the same mistakes again?”

“Well,” he says, “I’m gonna try really, really hard.”

You cast your eyes heavenward. “You’re really lucky I’m hopelessly in love with you.”

“I know.” Jeonghan takes your face between his cold hands and pulls you in for a firm kiss. You clutch the hem of his t-shirt, feeling warmth spread down to your toes when he smiles into the kiss. “I’m hopelessly in love with you, too.”

“Oh, look at you, all grown up,” Joshua gushes as you lug your olive green suitcase down the front steps of your porch. “Going off to college for the first day of her final year. I feel like we should take a photo to remember this moment.”

“Joshua, shut up,” Jeonghan grunts as he lifts the bag. “If you have the time to take a photo, you have the time to help me out with the luggage.”

“Um, aren’t you forgetting something?” Your best friend points exaggeratedly at the plaster cast that covers his foot. “I’m a bit disabled at the moment.”

Karma had come full circle for him when he’d tried to take over the neighboring eleven-year-old’s trampoline, and had ended up breaking his leg for real. Everyone thinks he deserved it except Joshua himself, who’d warmed up to the idea anyway when he’d realized that he could get people to sign cool stuff on his cast.

“You’re acting like I’m going for my first day at kindergarten or something.” You roll your eyes. 

“Yeah, you’re a real grown-up,” he leans over to pat your arm, withdrawing it hastily when you threaten to kick his broken leg. “Jeez, calm your tits.”

“I am calm.”

“Totally.” Jeonghan slams the boot of the Corolla, making a cloud of dust puff up. He reaches over to press a chaste kiss to your lips. “You ready to go?”

“I really think we should take a picture,” Joshua interjects.

Both of you turn to glare at him, and he shrinks into the wheelchair. “Sensing some hostility,” he mutters. “So ungrateful, considering that I’m the whole reason you’re together in the first place.”

“Exaggeration,” you say, and turn to Jeonghan. “I’ll just be a moment, okay?”

He nods, and you give him a tiny smile before running back inside the house. Joshua shakes his head curiously at Jeonghan, who only shrugs in response, just as mystified. They wait for a few more seconds, and Joshua pulls out the marker and begins doodling inside the D of your signature on his cast, which is a sweet, short message: Dick.

“Okay!” You command the attention back to yourself with a clap of your hands as you emerge from the door, this time with the plastic pink heart-shaped sunglasses adoring your face. “How do I look?” you ask, propping them up on the top of your head, and giving them a little twirl.

“Like an idiot,” your best friend says, deadpan. You smack the back of his head as you pass him. “Also, don’t forget your Hello Kitty backpack. They go with your glasses.”

“That’s mine, actually,” Jeonghan says pointedly, and turns to you with a heart-melting smile. “And you look gorgeous as always.”

“Disgusting,” Joshua comments.

You flip him off. “I’m ready to go now.”

“Well, then,” your boyfriend says breezily, patting the hood of the car, which causes another cloud of dust to billow into the air. “Get in. We don’t have all day.”

taglist: @fragmentof-indifference @sadgirlroo @joonsytip @odetoyoon @sstarrysshit @lockburn-castle @chocosvt @ohgeezitsbreadgenie @outrologist @ishireads @ti--red

[shuahoonie]

about you | joshua hong

pairing: non-idol!joshua (svt) x gn!reader

notes: tooth-aching fluff, swearing, alcohol consumption, platonic!svt x reader, drunken confessions, mutual pining, friends to lovers ?

word count: 1.5k

summary: a drunk and sulky joshua won't leave you alone until you tell him you love him back.

“come get ur man pls” a text from seungkwan appeared on the top of your phone while you were scrolling absentmindedly on tiktok.

tonight was one of the rare nights that the boys had a relatively free weekend. it was the perfect chance for them to catch up and have a drink or two.

though you anticipated that the boys were going to get wasted, you didn’t expect joshua to be one of them.

joshua hong can usually hold his liquor well. joshua hong also knows when to stop drinking when he’s almost at his limit.

however, seungkwan’s unsolicited yet appreciated updates have disproven all things you thought you knew about joshua’s drinking habits.

“are you not having fun, jihoon?” you teased. it wasn’t long before jihoon decided to call you.

“i’m close to committing murder,” jihoon muttered from the other line “you have to come and help me here.”

“what about seungkwan?”

“he’s got his hands full from soonyoung alone,” jihoon stated. “please, i did not ask to babysit grown men.”

“you guys got this!” you wanted to laugh. “is josh—“

“he’s the worst one! i don’t even know what’s gotten into him, he’s so sulky all of a sudden” jihoon was frustrated “please, just come here and at least accompany joshua.”

“is that yn on the line?” you heard seungkwan from the other line “ynnie! please, if you truly love me, you’d come and save me from this misery.”

“you guys are not making a compelling case, you know.” you teased knowing well enough that jihoon and seungkwan were getting frustrated. “besides, i was quite firm that tonight is your night to bond as a group.”

“we’ve bonded for years! please,” seungkwan practically cried on the other line “oh god, soonyoung’s standing on the a table— hyung! get down from there!”

you can hear the chaos from their line and you feel bad that they had to endure all of this. “are you guys still at wonu’s?” you asked already putting your jacket on and grabbing your keys.

“yes! please hurry!”

by the time you got to the dorms, you were mentally preparing for the rowdiness that you could hear emitting from the other side of the door.

"ynnie!" soonyoung ran to the doors to greet you with a suffocating hug "are you finally here to confess your undying love for joshy?" he asked, sparkles practically dancing in his eyes.

"soonie, you're drunk." you tried to laugh it off, obviously flustered by the comment. "why don't you go see if wonu or vernon can grab you some water, yeah?"

soonyoung pouted but eventually obliged.

"yn!" seungkwan was practically in tears when he greeted you with a hug "i really thought you were going to let me fend off for myself."

"you know i actually thought about it," you teased. seungkwan, obviously who was not in the mood for fooling around, threw daggers at you. "now where's—"

"ynnie!" joshua’s entire face practically brightened when he saw you look for him. “oh wait, no, i forgot i’m mad.” he pouted as he crossed his arms.

you found joshua squished between jeonghan and mingyu in one of the couches. jun was sprawled all over the loveseat, clearly passed out, while minghao and chan sat on the floor. they all gave you kind smiles as you approached them closer.

“yn! come, sit beside me,” jeonghan offered with a lopsided smile. you can tell he was buzzed too.

“no, yn has to sit next to me!” joshua moped with a huff.

jeonghan put his arms in defeat. "i was suggesting that yn should sit in between us, but it's okay. yn can sit next to you and only you." he teased, prompting joshua to glare at him.

"i think i'll just stand" you stated awkwardly, grabbing the can of coke that jihoon politely offered. seungcheol, who was standing right next to you let out a teasing laugh. "what are you laughing at?" you raised an eyebrow at him.

"it's just cute how you and shua keep dancing around each other's feelings, obviously ignoring the fact that you two like each other," he grinned.

you elbowed him in the rib, making him groan and mumble a string of profanities.

"what? but it's true! i know we were drinking that day, but i will never forget the most lovesick giggle i heard from you when shua congratulated you over phone," cheol teased in a hushed tone. curse cheol's memory.

"choi seungcheol, speak another word and i will break your nose." you grumbled, which only made cheol laugh even more.

"what are you two whispering about?" hao asked you and cheol while he quietly observed joshua's change in demeanour, which didn't go unnoticed.

"oh, you know, how i love love," cheol said in a teasing tone. "and watching people i love fall in love," he sighed.

you rolled your eyes and took a sip of the coke, of hoping that cheol drops the topic soon. your eyes briefly scanned joshua's face though, he still had his arms crossed, pouting like there was no tomorrow.

minghao, who instantly picked up cheol's cryptic statement, couldn't help but laugh. mingyu, who was quietly sipping his beer, was fighting off a smile too. fuck, am i that obvious?

gyu cleared off his throat, "does anyone want more samgyupsal?" he asked, ready to head towards the kitchen.

"yeah, we can help." minghao said, grabbing chan by the arm, confused by everything. "c'mon chan, let's see what's in their fridge."

"you can take my seat, ynnie," mingyu grinned as he pinched your cheeks passing by, prompting you to slap his hand. "so cute, our shua and ynnie."

it wasn't long before the rest of the guys followed gyu to the kitchen, leaving you and joshua alone on the couch— as well as a sleeping jun.

this was definitely a sight for sore eyes. when joshua drinks, he can usually handle his alcohol quite well. he also doesn’t really get blackout drunk. so all this? a pouty, sulky, practically red, and wasted joshua was something you’ve never encountered.

"joshua," you nudged him softly "can you please tell me why you're mad?"

"i thought i was your joshuji?" he pointed out softly. he looked adorable and it was not doing your heart any good.

"okay, my joshuji," you laughed "can you tell me why you're mad?"

"it's because you didn't say it back," he huffed.

you were genuinely confused. "say what back?" you asked before taking a sip from your drink.

"i love you," the way he stated it so easily and with nonchalance made you choke on your coke. "see? you're not saying it back."

"shuji, when did you even say that?" you asked in between coughs.

"earlier," he mumbled before slouching lower so he can rest his head on your shoulder. "when seungkwan called you."

"ynnie! how am i just finding out that you're not going to be here?!" seungkwan yelled over the phone. you can hear the chaos from the other line and from what you can tell, they're playing a drinking game.

"because i figured you guys needed to bond without me looming and babysitting each one of you," you answered as you scanned through your cupboards, looking for something to eat.

"but i miss you!" seungkwan cried. "how am i supposed to endure all of this when— i just took a shot! why is it my turn again?"

"okay, seungkwan love shot!" you heard joshua yell gleefully.

"kwannie, was that joshua?" you asked laughing.

"yeah, your boyfriend has been way too comfortable passing shots around." seungkwan grumbled then paused "hold on, i think—"

"ynnieee," joshua drawled out your name "love youuu."

"shua, can you pass the phone to seungkwan please?" you asked chuckling.

"yes? did you change your mind?" seungkwan's tone was full of hope.

"no, but can you keep tabs on joshua? it seems like he's going to drink more than he normally does."

"you can do that yourself, you know." you could just feel kwannie rolling his eyes. "he's not my boyfriend."

"he's not mine either!"

"he might as well be!" seungkwan pointed out "you two have been acting way too affectionate for a pair of friends."

"just watch him for me," you sighed "please, kwannie?"

"fine."

ah. that phone call.

"i was actually telling seungkwan to watch over you but i guess he got his hands full," you said softly to joshua.

"why?"

"what do you mean why?"

"why did you ask seungkwan to do that?"

"because i care about you?" you answered, though you weren't really sure why joshua was asking you this.

"okay," joshua sighed, nearly content with your answer. nearly.

his hand found yours though and clasped his fingers against yours. it's not like this is all new to you. you were quite used to joshua being clingy, more so when drunk.

"yn?" you hummed. "i love you" he mumbled softly.

"yeah, me too."

"why aren't you saying it back properly?" he sulked. god, not this again.

"i love you too, shuji," you said softly and that was true.

"really?" joshua asked as if you weren't sure, making you laugh.

"yeah."

"okay, because i really love you," he sighed, fully content this time. "in this life and in our next one."

hello! it's been a while since i wrote anything remotely related to fanfics! so, i hope this is still fine. hehe.

[chwedout]

chwedout has finally reached 1k followers! thank you to everyone who decided to press the follow button, from those who followed me way back in the spiderstingle days to those who only followed me recently, i really appreciate it! to celebrate this milestone, i've decided to do a few things.

first of all, i've finally started a tracking tag — #chwedoutbox. you can find more about it in this post. i can't wait for you all to use it so i can see and share all the cool things you create.

secondly, i've decided to open up my ask box to requests! all you need to do is choose one of the following prompts and send a request through my ask box.

seventeen member + music video (e.g. vernon in rock with you)

seventeen member + going seventeen episode (e.g. mingyu in svt's kitchen for two)

this or that (e.g. left & right era wonwoo or 24h era wonwoo/ long haired jeonghan or short haired jeonghan)

there's no limit to how many requests you can send, go wild if you want to. i just ask that you be patient with me as sometimes i do like to go outside to breathe in fresh air and touch some grass. sending requests on anon is okay too! however, i won't be able to tag you when i do eventually post your request.

now i just want to say a massive thank you to all of my mutuals! being sappy lowkey makes me cringe but i couldn't have reached this milestone without any of you. to my og mutuals (i won't tag you dw) who were here way before i turned into a kpop blog, to my newest mutuals who i probably haven't spoken to, thank you! i hope you all know how much i appreciate you and that you all mean so much to me ♡

first of all my ride or dies- the hhu wives- sarah @vertiny, bec @storyoflight, and alex (idk if you deactivated </3) i literally would not be here without all of you. we've been through so much together and i just want to say that i love all of you so so much! let's all hope that we can one day go to that svt concert together.

j @vcrnons - my dolly in crime and my first ever caratual on tumblr! if i remember correctly, you followed me way back when i hadn't fully committed to being an svt blog yet. thank you so much for being so kind and supportive to me when i first started. i mean it when i say i don't think i'd be here if we didn't become mutuals since your work always inspired me to start creating myself.

ophelia @lee-sanghyeok - another one of my fave vernon stans! thank you for always being a joy to see on the dash! you're so incredibly sweet and i know i can always count on you to send me vernon content when i ask for it.

kashi @jeonsupershy - one of my fave wonwoo stans fr! seeing all of your wonwoo gifs always puts a smile on my face. every time he does something i just know that i'm going to be reblogging one of your stunning gifs later in the day. thank you for always being such an awesome presence on the dash. i'm so grateful to be mutuals with you!

max @scouped - you are so incredibly talented and i really hope you know that! i'm always in awe whenever i see one of your creations on my dash. you definitely inspire me to push the boundaries of my creativity when it comes to making content. i do miss your presence on tumblr but i'm always happy when i see you on the dash from time to time.

tiff @uservernon - my beloved dolly moot! thank you for always being so sweet. you always bring such a fun and bright presence to caratblr and i love seeing you on the dash or in my notifs especially when you're screaming about vernon. the url is still a powermove in my opinion!

maddie @jeonwon-wonwoo - you are genuinely one of the kindest and friendliest people i've met on tumblr. i've had so much fun talking to you about the most random things. i'll never forget our chats about the walking dead and teen wolf. i hope you're doing well!

yena @fairyhaos - my fave joshua stan! i hope you know that every time i see the couch shua pic i think of you lmao. i always love seeing you lose your mind over shua and you never fail to make me laugh with all the tags you leave on posts. thank you for bringing such a positive energy to caratblr! i'm so glad to have you as a mutual.

zaynab @galatariel - another one of my insanely talented mutuals! your gifs are always so gorgeous and always inspire me to go out of my comfort zone and create something new. i always enjoy seeing you make content for the things you love. thank you for being so kind and helpful.

nuri @jjunhui - again, another mutual who is extremely talented! everything you make is just stunning and your svt as text posts gifsets never fail to make me laugh. thank you for being so supportive and kind. i am so grateful to have you as a mutual.

nana @kyeomies - so glad to see that you're back! i've always enjoyed seeing your pretty gifs on my dash and can't wait to see more of your content. i hope you're doing well!

yo @redrcbin - literally one of my most beloved mutuals! i'm still not 100% sure when we became mutuals but i think it's pretty funny if it was because of the c-word game. i always love seeing you on the dash and in my notifs, especially when i see you losing your mind over wonwoo or mingyu. i'm so happy i get to call you a friend.

and to all the mutuals that i haven't talked to or interacted with that much - @jeongtokkie, @kimsmingyu, @wonboos, @leedonghun, and @soonhoonsol - thank you so much for being awesome! i really hope we do get to talk more in the future.

now i'm going to kick myself because tumblr won't let me tag anymore people and i'm pretty sure i've missed out on so many beloved mutuals of mine. i'm extremely sorry if i did, but please know that i appreciate every single one of you so much!

[sweetiesicheng]

jeonghan - episode

word count : 636

-

"three, two, one, start."

"okay! let's go this!"

"come on! hurry!"

an episode of "going seventeen" was being filmed. this episode was going to consist of a scavenger hunt, but the catch was that each member of seventeen was partnered with a member of the filming crew. this episode was also featuring the point system that was created in the "don't lie" series and was continuing from a previous recording. every team also had a small camera because half of the camera crew was partnered up.

and who were you partnered with? your boyfriend, the one and only, yoon jeonghan.

"okay, we have five things to look for," you said to jeonghan, who held your hand. you looked through the list in your other hand before recognizing something, "oh! i saw this one when we were moving the equipment! come on!" you started to turn around to run off, but you couldn't move much since jeonghan didn't run with you. "babe, come on!" you said to him.

"we don't need to do anything. i have enough points," jeonghan said to you. he was clearly ready to just find a place to relax instead of playing the game.

"you're in third place, jeonghan."

"so? i have the first place prize, you," he said and started smirking at you.

"yoon jeonghan!"

"yes, my love?"

-

after somehow getting jeonghan to move, you managed to get a few of the items on the scavenger list. jeonghan started getting competitive, which made your time together s lot more fun.

"over there. i see it!" jeonghan suddenly announced. both of you hurried to a light post, where a flag was tied to the post. you stepped onto the concrete lip and jeonghan held your waist while you untied the flag from its spot. "we gotta hurry back."

"okay," you replied and jumped off the ledge.

the two of you hurried to run back to where the game started at. you passed by a few teams along the way, still looking for items on their respective lists.

“hey! they have the flag!” you heard dino yell, making some of the others look at you two.

"y/n, hurry!" jeonghan yelled at you as you two ran. vernon, dk, and a staff member started chasing you but gave up half way through.

"i can't run! you know that!" you yelled at him.

"after all of these episodes, you can't keep up?" he questioned and looked back at you with a grin. he held his hand out to you, and you grabbed it despite knowing you'd slow him down a bit.

the two of you made it back but noticed that some of the guys had also just made it back.

"what place did we get?" he asked one of the crew members.

"let me check your items first," your coworker replied. you and jeonghan handed her the items and she checked all of them. "jeonghan and producer y/n...second place!" she announced to everyone.

"really?" you asked and turned around. "what about you guys?" you asked since there were more teams.

"we didn't get everything," seungkwan mentioned, "we just ran back here because of the time limit."

"we had a time limit?" jeonghan asked.

"i didn't know that," you mentioned and looked at your friend.

"y/n, you're literally a member of the production crew," your friend replied.

"listen, i think jeonghan's antics in this show have rubbed off on me," you replied while starting to walk to the others. jeonghan holds your hand as you two walk. "at least we got second," you said to him, "i think the prize is good."

"doesn't matter to me," jeonghan said to you. "got my prize right here," he said and kissed your forehead.

"yoon jeonghan! stop flirting on camera! edit the forehead kiss out!”

[ressonancee]

I can be enchanted by the simple things

seventeen

the loveliest time ✿ masterlist

love transit ♥ season one / season two / season three

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

KAMIKAZE ― track no.2 of the loveliest time ― wc: 7.7 ― angst, break-up, smut But Seungcheol had that power - he made sure to make you fall in love all over again every time he had a chance. And everything would be okay after a few hours in the same space as him, you would feel loved, he would smile, he would embrace you and everything would just feel right. The problem was that lately, Seungcheol didn't have the time to make you fall in love with him.

YOON JEONGHAN

THEN I WILL BLOSSOM FOR YOU ― feat: lee seokmin ― wc: 5.2k ― established relationship, smut Seokmin can't really explain why, sure you both are attractive, you guys make a cute couple, and you guys have chemistry, but none of that explains why Seokmin feels so fucking curious, it doesn't explain why he feels like he is trained to watch you two from afar.

I THINK WE MARRIED IN VEGAS ― wc: 28.2K ― friends to lovers, smut You and Jeonghan have always been friends, and friends go on a trip together, right? And somehow friends always end up marrying in Las Vegas right? And somehow friends become roommates as well right? That all seems very normal when Yoon Jeonghan has a weird addiction to doing the dumbest things ever just for shock value.

JEON WONWOO

lazy sundays ― wc: 1.2k ― established relationship, smut You know people hated sundays, but you kind of loved it tho, because with your boyfriend between your legs and a nice book to read, what is there to not like about sundays?

LEE JIHOON

WHEN THE HEAT WAVE COMES ― wc: 7.5k ― friends to lovers, smut And god, Jihoon did hate the summer, he hated how the hot time made his skin feel, and he hated how just going out was even more of a hassle when his clothes were clinging to him, but if someone asked right now he had a different answer, right now he loved the summer.

XU MINGHAO

IMPATIENT ― wc: 3k ― friends with benefits, smut You and Minghao are technically friends with benefits. It is not really something you both need to keep a secret - but you just have way too many friends in common so sneaking out is the only way to do it really.

Retrouvaille ― wc: 3.652 ― friends to lovers You and Minghao have always been friends and remained friends in spite of different countries, different time zones, and lives, but now, you and him are back in the same city.

KIM MINGYU

IS IT TOO MUCH ― wc: 11.2k ― neighbors-to-lovers, smut, daddy!mingyu (slightly) When Mingyu helps you up with your boxes, you don't think too much of it, really, but when he shows up in the hall with a kid in his arms - something changes.

LEE SEOKMIN

THEN I WILL BLOSSOM FOR YOU ― feat: yoon jeonghan ― wc: 5.2k ― established relationship, smut Seokmin can't really explain why, sure you both are attractive, you guys make a cute couple, and you guys have chemistry, but none of that explains why Seokmin feels so fucking curious, it doesn't explain why he feels like he is trained to watch you two from afar.

CHWE HANSOL/VERNON

WESTERN WIND ― wc: 8.9k ― f1 au, enemiers-to-lovers (slightly), smut Vernon is on the verge of freaking out - Vernon is chill, Vernon is calm, but everyone has a limit, and Vernon's limit is when he complains 3 consecutive weeks about his front wing and the engineering team doesn't do a thing about it.

[excelsi-or]

summoned (pt. 14)

hello, friends! :D there are only two more parts after this, and the next time I post, I'll post them at the same time! i think this part is really fun. i enjoyed pulling parts from Good Omens. i hope you guys have had a good november :) BIPOC recommendation: I've been watching the R&B Money podcast with Tank and J Valentine. Their energy is great and they have some great guests on there. Also Tank's R&B Money album is a total vibe.

pairing: woozi x fem!reader/fem!OC

w.c. 2.7k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13

Jihoon speeds through the streets even faster than usual. This is more challenging with everyone slowing down to stare up at the sky. Some of the traffic lights are also out of power. Jihoon blows through all those intersections. 

Seokmin has to do damage control as they go. While he also tries not to vomit.

At Mrs. Han’s shop, as soon as she reaches for the doorknob, it unlocks. She leads the way to the back room, shutting off the alarm as they go.

“Well, it’s extremely convenient to have her here,” Seokmin mutters.

She turns the computer on. “Sollie, this is all you.”

Hansol shakes his head, sitting at the desk. “You know I don’t have the skills to—” His eyes widen when the computer unlocks and the application they want opens. He looks around at his three companions. 

The angel and demon turn to her. However, Hansol is her focus.

“Sollie?”

“Right.” Hansol turns to the computer and clicks around. He’s not computer illiterate, but he definitely has limitations.

One being that he’s never seen this program before and isn’t even sure what they’re looking for. He gets lucky and finds the history of what the computer has been used for. “Looks like we could be going here.” He highlights the name of the first reactor that Mrs. Han’s computer had hacked into. Over a year ago.

She researches it and winces.

“What’s wrong?” Seokmin asks.

“It’s pulling us coast to coast.” She turns her phone to show off the map. “It’ll be really hard to come to anyone’s rescue.

“Can’t you guys, I don’t know, teleport or something?” Hansol asks.

“But not with someone.” Seokmin lets out a long, tired sigh. “And we rarely teleport to the exact location. We can get general area at best.”

A loud howl of wind shakes the back door. The lights flicker overhead.

“Let’s go to the farther one,” she says to Jihoon. Seems the building will stay standing. “And we’ll… we’ll just have to figure it out as we go.”

“And you’re worried because Seokmin hyung drives like a grandma,” Hansol says as they head back out.

She gives Hansol a hug. The wind tries to tear them apart. The skirt of her dress billows around them. “Be safe, okay?”

He nudges her head with his. “We need to live long enough to see Seungcheol hyung and Jeonghan hyung get married.”

She snorts as she pulls away. “I told them to video call us today if they really did listen to me and decide to get married today.”

Seokmin comes in for a hug. “You told them the world was going to end today?”

“And they believed you?” Jihoon asks.

She shrugs. “I’m not sure how today’s going to end. But I told them we’d be busy, so they had to call us.” She steps back and bows her head. “I’m sorry I never told you the whole truth.”

Seokmin cups her face with both hands and squeezes her cheeks, which always makes him smile. “That’s okay. I think I had more fun not knowing.” He quickly heals the burn on her chest despite her howl of pain. He chuckles when she swats him. “It’d hurt more if you were fully human.”

“Really?”

Seokmin shrugs. “Possibly.”

She lets Jihoon pull her away. “You’ll get to your reactor first. Let us know if there’s anything… off.”

As they climb into Jihoon’s car, he grumbles about how long those goodbyes were.

She buckles her seatbelt, her head down as she tries to swallow the lump in her throat. “This could be the last time I see them as a human.”

“You’re not really human now.” Jihoon peels out of his street parking spot, knocking into two different cars as he goes. She waves a hand in the direction of the cars while simultaneously punching in the address for the first reactor.

Jihoon glances over at her. “Those people are probably not going to need their car.”

“If I get any say, the world is not going to end today.” She settles back into the seat, adjusting her skirt so that she can comfortably sit criss-crossed without wrinkling the dress too much.

“Are you going to sleep?”

With her head still against the headrest, she turns to face him. “Unless you wanna talk.”

Jihoon shrugs, holding his hand up for her.

She lets out a breath that sounds like a laugh and drops her hand into his. “Wouldn’t have pinned you as the hand holding type, Demon.”

“Jihoon, if you will, human.”

She scoffs, adjusting her grip in his. “I guess that’s better than Antichrist.”

“And in response to your comment, you are pleasant to touch.”

She looks over at him in surprise, now properly laughing in disbelief. “You really are a romantic. How did you ever wind up a demon?”

Jihoon hesitates. She feels his grip shift in her hand.

“You didn’t sell your soul,” she states, studying him. “Did you…”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

She nods. “Well, then can we at least talk about this?” She lifts their interlocked hands. “We’re not committing, are we?”

“If this all goes to your plan, I’m assuming you won’t be the Antichrist anymore, so I won’t be able to touch you anyway.”

“Hmm.” She turns towards the window, watching the city zip by, quickly changing to highway. “Unfortunate. You’re good at it.”

“What?”

“Touching me.”

Jihoon turns to her with a raised eyebrow. “My offer still stands. Of staying in bed all day.”

She shakes her head, grinning at her reflection in the side mirror. “No, there’s no time, Jihoon. I probably don’t get too many chances to convince the Horsemen to hold off.”

“Okay. Well then. For what it’s worth, last night was really great.”

This causes her to look back his way. “Are you always this honest with the humans you sleep with? Or do you tell all of us that?”

Jihoon glances over at her, his eyes returning to the road as he slips around a Tesla. “I haven’t slept with any other humans in recent history.”

She blinks in surprise at this information. It clearly makes Jihoon uncomfortable to discuss it further. Her mind runs through different ways to respond to this statement. She knows that he’d manipulated her mind slightly the night before, as she had done his. All in the name of pleasure. To learn that he hasn’t done the same with recent humans before her…

“Have you… been with demons? Angels?”

Jihoon keeps his gaze on the road, his answer being drawn out.

Her mind whirls at the possibilities, but she doesn’t press.

And her patience rewards her.

“No.”

She takes a moment to process the weight of this one-worded answer. “Then, I guess I’m honoured.” She waits for him to look her way. When he does, she continues. “Since you enjoyed it.”

He chuckles, the tightness in his jaw relaxing. She hears something akin to cars scratching against each other. Over her shoulder, she flicks her fingers, quickly fixing the car Jihoon scraped.

“Do you know what you’re going to say to the Horsemen?”

“I’m think we’re also going to need to deal with… Him. Your ‘Him’, not Seokmin’s.”

Jihoon’s body stiffens. “You think so?”

“That’s sort of the point of the Antichrist.” She smirks. “Wish I took Seokmin instead of you?”

“No. I’m with you until the end of the line, human.”

She narrows her eyes at him, wondering if he’s making a movie reference. Although, it’s so unlike the demon she knows that she assumes not.

And she can’t fathom where and when he even watched the movie.

“I’m sort of just hoping the words come to me.”

Jihoon scoffs. “Great. I’m glad the future of the world is held in your capable hands.”

She pecks the back of his hand. “You definitely thought my hands were capable yesterday, so I’m hoping it all works out.

“The only way for us to get there is if we go at max speed.” Jihoon reverses and revs the engine.

“And also bust through cement?” she demands. She reaches for his arm to stop him. “Hold on.”

“How can we hold on anymore?” Jihoon motions to the bridge that they’d just passed under that is now on fire. They can hear the honking from all the traffic, which is now starting to pile up, which is only causing the fire to burn hotter and brighter.

“Your literal presence is causing things to burst into flame.”

“Okay, that’s not all me,” she argues. “Even if we’re not completely human right now, the car is still human made. And is still limited by some human limitations.”

Jihoon frowns. “So,” he draws this out, “how are we going to get through the fire?”

“Well, we’ll have to drive through that. But we shouldn’t ruin the car by driving through cement.”

“We don’t have time to argue this.” He turns the car again so that they’re moving away from the bridge.

“Where are you going now?”

“You didn’t want me to drive through the barrier!”

“Turn around and go back the way we came!”

“There are literal cars in the way?”

“If we come out of the fire in one piece, then I’m sure we’ll come up with an idea.”

“Do you even hear how illogical you are sounding right now?” He shakes one hand in the air for emphasis of the following statement: “We’ll be on fire.”

“And you’re going to what instead? Drive all the way to a U-turn point? When we’re short on time?”

Jihoon makes some inhumane, annoyed sounds. Still, he completely reverses the car so that they’re driving against the traffic. He lays on the horn as cars move out of the way for him.

“Are you going to do anything to protect us?” Jihoon asks.

“My… whatever the fuck, power or whatever, is limited.”

Jihoon doesn’t even have time to laugh at ‘whatever the fuck’. “You can alter reality though, can’t you?”

“You want me to what? Imagine that we’re not going to be on fire?” she asks. The fire is coming up quickly.

“Just think of something!” Jihoon takes a deep breath as he floors it, urging the car a bit faster.

She frowns, as she tries to rack her brain for how to make this work. She’d been hoping that they’d just drive fast enough through the fire that they wouldn’t need to worry too much about it. Her parents had briefly mentioned what would happen when the powers came in. 

Out of her father’s earshot, her mother had properly explained the purpose of the Antichrist.

Neither of them had explained how to use the powers.

Jihoon doesn’t confirm whether she’s come up with anything. It seems the demon just trusts her, as he ploughs straight into the fire. While inside, it seems the fire goes on forever, and she has to hold her breath at the flames’ intensity. Her skin prickles, and one bead of sweat begins to slip down the line of her back. 

Next to her, Jihoon mutters. She swears he’s giving his car an aggressive pep talk. The words are angry, almost as if he’s cursing the car. The car squeals angrily, apparently struggling to hold itself together. The engine groans at the intense pressure.

When they break through the other side, they both exhale loudly.

“We fucking survived,” Jihoon says in disbelief.

There’s no time to celebrate, as he has to swerve a hard left to avoid ramming straight into the cars on the other side. He moves to the shoulder of the road, his hand on the horn to drown out the other incessant honking of other drivers.

The emergency vehicles speed towards them.

“Jihoon,” she warns.

“Yes, I can see it.” His eyes dart towards the right, gauging the space between cars. She notices the way his eyes flick cat-like.

The firetruck barreling towards them blares its horn in response to Jihoon.

“Jihoon.”

The demon’s voice comes out strained. “Yes, I can see it. Thank you.” The steering wheel begins smoking as Jihoon’s hands burn through the leather. “You couldn’t have saved my fucking car.”

“Be glad we’re not on goddamn fire,” she snaps back. Her hands go for the dashboard to steady herself, but she jumps back at how hot it is. It’s hotter than Jihoon’s skin, definitely hotter than fire. 

She closes her eyes and begins to pray.

“Really?” Jihoon demands, glancing over at her. “Now?”

“Sorry, but I don’t really want to die before we get there.” Her lips mouth some sort of prayer.

“And you think God’s going to listen to you? Of all people?”

The firetruck is now also just laying on the horn.

“I can’t save us from that.”

“I am well aware.”

“Then fucking do something about it!”

Jihoon swerves a hard right. She winces at the loud screeching noise as Jihoon scratches the two cars they drive between. He ignores the cursing from the drivers. Which is probably a good thing, because Jihoon could actually curse them back.

“You fucking rushed me,” Jihoon huffs.

“How is that relevant right—” she grunts as Jihoon weaves through the standstill traffic, ignoring every side mirror he hits and the two doors he yanks off their hinges.

Finally, there’s a break in the cement barrier and Jihoon guns towards it. She groans, leaning her head back against the seat.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Apparently being the Antichrist doesn’t protect against car sickness. She says as much.

“We’re trying to save the—”

The phone starts ringing in the car.

“When the car is on fire, it connects to Bluetooth?” She quickly taps the screen.

“Where are you guys?” Seokmin hisses.

“In traffic trying not to get fucking lit on fire,” Jihoon snaps.

Hansol’s voice comes through in a whisper. With the cacophony on all sides, they nearly miss what he says, “Well, you guys should hurry.”

“Uhm.” She glances at the map on her phone. It’s still 4 hours away even with the good time they’ve made. She lifts the phone into Jihoon’s eyeline so that he can see the projected ETA.

Jihoon grimaces. 

She lurches backwards as Jihoon somehow makes the car go faster. That shaves off almost an hour. “What’s happening? Why are you guys whispering?”

“Well, obviously we’re here—” Seokmin stops mid-sentence. Suddenly, alarms start blaring. It takes she and Jihoon a second to realize it’s not from their end. Hansol and Seokmin’s voices lower even further as they whisper back and forth.

She has to strain to hear more, eventually turning the volume up a bit more, but she hears a door close.

“What’s going on?” she asks when it seems like nothing changes.

“They could sense Seokmin.” It sounds as if Hansol has the phone pressed right against his lips. “So, he had to—” He inhales deeply.

“Your scent will likely mix with the other humans on site,” Jihoon tells him. “Relax. You should be okay. Especially with Seokmin running around there.”

“Okay, well.” Hansol is now just breathing words into the phone. She turns the dial a bit more, unsure if it’s even doing anything. “Those horsemen people are here and they’re… I’m not really sure what they’re doing. They’re kinda just…”

She can imagine Hansol gesturing, but she can’t imagine what the gesture is.

“They’re just touching everything, and stuff breaks.”

“Hence the alarms.” She dreads saying her next words. “You know you’re going to have to be the one to try to fix things.”

“I thought that’s why you were…” Again, Hansol’s voice shifts.

“Are you curled up in a ball right now?”

“They keep walking back and forth. I’m scared they’ll hear me.”

“You’re going to need to fix whatever they broke. In case I can’t do anything.”

“Then will it even matter?” Hansol hisses.

“See you soon.”

“You’re doing that thing where you’re ignoring me because you don’t like what I’m saying.”

“Good luck.”

pt. 15

[finallydelight]

Hiiii! I was wondering if you could write about ming´s first rehearsal after her hiatus and the members´ reaction to it. It was mentioned that she hat lost weight and couldn’t keep up with the choreography🥺 i love your writings btw💕

We’ll Figure Something Out | Ming Chapter

warnings: this chapter has mentions of weight loss, fatigue, hospitals, etc. vomiting is also present in this chapter. so, if you're not comfortable with any of those, I recommend to skip this one and take care of yourself, my darlings ❤️‍🩹

author’s note: thank you so much for the request, honey ! I hope you like it and let me know what you think of it ! 🫶

November 1, 2022

Ming quietly walked into the practice room, Seungcheol's right hand firmly on her shoulder, his left one occupied with holding her bag. The members warmly welcomed them, happy to see her again in the practice room after what seemed forever.

''Hey, what did they say?'' Jeonghan asked the pair, appearing at Ming's side as soon as they had stepped in the room.

Before they walked in, Ming and Cheol had made a visit to her doctor. The company and members wanted to make sure she had medical approval to start rehearsing again. Cheol insisted on going with her, not fully trusting her to go by herself. Ming was very desperate to join the members again on tour, he didn't want to risk her lying in case the doctor said she couldn't join them yet.

Her grandmother's hospitalization had taken a huge toll on her. Ming barely slept, barely ate and kept all of her worries to herself. Overall, she wasn't taking good care of herself, physically and mentally, prioritizing her little brothers. Once she had returned to Seoul, she had lost a lot of weight, her skin looked pale and she hadn't genuinely smiled once. Obviously, it had made the members extremely worried seeing her in the state that she was. It wasn't the first time she had undergone a great loss of weight, but it had been a while since the last time.

Of course, they took care of her as well as they could. Mingyu became her personal nurse and gradually was getting her back to her regular eating routine. Next to cooking, he carried her around the dorm on his back, although after just a few days that was stopped by Jeonghan who said Ming needed to build her strength again.

''He said I could resume my activities again if I wished to, but that I need to take everything very slowly and shouldn't do anything that is too intense for me.'' Ming copied her doctor's words, a soft smile gracing her face.

The members made sounds of excitement, Soonyoung and Dokyeom even going as far as clapping for her. The staff were also very delighted to know she would be joining them again, being fond of the young woman.

''Let's start stretching then.'' Hyerim told the group, clapping her hands together. She made her way over to where Ming was taking off her jacket. ''How's your knee doing, Yerm?'' She asked her, looking down at her legs.

Ming hesitantly answered. ''If I don't put too much pressure on it, it's totally fine.'' She had taken a small tumble in the bathroom, losing her balance due to a lack of energy. She injured her knee and was forced to wear a knee brace for at least a few weeks.

''We're gonna see what your limits are today, so please,'' Hyerim pleaded, ''please, don't overestimate yourself, if it's too much no one will blame you for sitting on the side.''

She nodded at the stage director's words. ''I know, I'm gonna be careful, unnie.'' Ming assured her, knowing there's no time to fool around.

''We'll start with Left & Right! Ming-ssi, you mark through it and see what you can do.'' Their instructor said, motioning for the staff on the side to get the song ready to play.

Ming walked to her starting position, happy to be back performing with her members again even if it was only a rehearsal.

Seungkwan tapped her shoulder. ''Yerimie, be cautious, okay? You can just step out if it's too much.'' He wasn't too entirely sure about Ming practicing again, still not thinking she had recovered enough. She patted his shoulder, offering a tight-lipped smile.

She took her spot next to Jeonghan, who briefly grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. ''Don't force anything, please. Don't be like me with my arm.'' Despite the joking nature of his comment, his stern face told her he was very serious about it.

A simple nod was given to him. Ming looked down at her feet, a sudden wave of nerves crashing over her.

Their choreographer counted down and the song boomed from the speakers. Ming slightly flinched, not expecting the music to be as loud as it was.

As she went through the dance, she noticed her stamina had greatly weakened and that even without fully doing the choreography, she knew it was impossible for her to perform on tour.

However, Ming kept going. The will to prove to everyone that she could do it was stronger than her worries about possibly injuring herself more. Eventually, the song ended and the loud breathing of the members was the only sound to be heard in the room.

Hyerim slowly walked over to Ming, taking in the physique of the younger woman. ''How are you feeling?'' The stage director caressed her arms and looked deep into her eyes, creating a sort of safe space.

''I'm tired, but my knee didn't hurt or anything, so I think I can continue for now.'' It wasn't a lie, her knee felt fine and she was tired, but she downplayed it.

Hyerim and the other members that had heard weren't entirely convinced by Ming's answer, but they gave her the benefit of the doubt.

''Alright, one song and then you take a break.'' She told Ming, holding up her index finger. The older woman looked around at the members. ''What song should we do now?''

The members' eyes glanced at the three leaders that coincidentally stood together. ''Uh, World? Mansae?'' Jihoon suggested, not being too sure about it.

''I don't think she should do Mansae, too much jumping.'' Soonyoung noted, not thinking it was a good idea to do a dance with too much energy.

''Let's do Mansae then!'' Hyerim concluded, stepping back to the side of the room. She motioned to the members to get in their positions and for the staff to start the song.

Ming went to her space in-between Mingyu and Minghao, who gave her encouraging smiles. ''Take it slow, alright?'' Minghao peeped over his shoulder at her.

''Yes.''

Like earlier, the song started and everything was fine in the beginning, but once the first chorus hit, everything started going south.

The fatigue settled in, and all her energy and strength seemed to just have disappeared. Her limbs felt heavy and it became a huge task to just not fall to the ground. With even the slowest movements, her vision became blurry.

Normally, after the chorus is done, she waits by the wall to wait for her part to come up, but instead went for the door and opened it. Between the hallway and their practice room, there is a small space to leave your bags and coats, but the members barely use it. In the corner of the small space is a small trash can, she reached out for that and her entire breakfast of that morning seemed to leave her body.

She felt someone grabbing her hair and holding it together, making a ponytail. Another hand rubbed her back, soothing her. ''It's okay, don't work yourself up.'' She recognised the voice as Cheol's.

Ming sat herself down on the ground, once her stomach was emptied. Cheol sat down behind her, calming her down by putting his arms around her and moving her side to side.

''Oppa, I can't do it.'' She began to sob, covering her eyes with her hands. The man behind shushed her, caressing her arms. ''It's gonna be okay, Yerimie… just focus on your breathing now, okay?'' The leader was trying his best to prevent her from having an anxiety attack.

Jun had walked over to them, holding a water battle and some tissues. He opened the bottle and handed it to Ming. ''I know it's not gonna taste good right now, but it's important to drink some water.'' With the tissues he wiped her face clean, some traces of the vomit still evident around her mouth and on her chin.

When Jun was done, Cheol motioned for him to go back to the practice room, leaving the oldest and the second youngest alone.

''You're okay, little one. Maybe it's a little too early to perform again.'' He told her, there being no way he would let her perform on tour again if that would be the outcome after every show.

Ming shook her head, but quickly stopped as it gave her a headache. ''Noo~ I don't want to stay here all by myself again, I don't like it.'' The separation anxiety every time the members would leave had never been this bad.

''We'll figure something out, little one. We'll figure something out.''

Taglist: @seolboba @cosmicwintr @mythicalamphitrite @billboard-singer @stopeatread @still-astray @sakuurra @multiplums @giverosespls @seongwhaffels @kimhyejin3108 @smoooore @smh-anon @cixrosie @allthings-fandoms

[justmochi]

I posted 1,504 times in 2022

That's 1,017 more posts than 2021!

1,259 posts created (84%)

245 posts reblogged (16%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@justmochi

@cafemilk-tea

@jisoossmirk

@ikissvernon

@joshuas

I tagged 1,387 of my posts in 2022

Only 8% of my posts had no tags

#floofs - 485 posts

#mochi sh!tposts - 365 posts

#justmochi: rosie - 297 posts

#justmochi: eden - 185 posts

#justmochi: jenn - 175 posts

#daisie - 169 posts

#rosie.love - 154 posts

#fake kpop idol - 148 posts

#fake kpop addition - 145 posts

#aesxocnet - 141 posts

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#jenn and rosie rly would throw their life on the line for their lover

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

be the sun

pairing :: eden x seokmin

word count :: 1.0k

synopsis :: eden visits seokmin backstage after his concert.

time :: june 26, 2022

Eden stood awkwardly against the wall, twirling the light stick in her hand. She watched the 97z reuniting, not wanting to intrude on their moment. Just as she was about to check her phone for the time, she felt a hand on her shoulder, scaring her.

“It’s just me, no worries.” Seungkwan took his hand back, furrowing his eyebrows in concern.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” She playfully slapped his shoulder, rolling her eyes.

“My apologies.” He bowed his head causing her to chuckle. “Did you enjoy it?”

“You know I always do. You don’t even need to ask.”

“Ahh, right.”

“How do you perform for four hours straight? Aren’t you exhausted?”

“It’s definitely exhausting, but our fans give us enough energy.” He nodded with his hands on his hips, smiling towards her.

“And you cried a lot tonight. You okay?”

“I’m alright, Eunhye. Thank you for asking.” He smiled towards her, holding his hand out for their handshake. She smirked, following his lead and leaning back against the wall as soon as they finished.

“Is Jeonghan recovering well?” She made small talk while waiting.

“He’s doing okay, but I think he’s at his limit tonight.”

“Well yeah, did you see him last night in his cast? His doctor is not going to be happy.”

“Oh for sure.” Seungkwan laughed at her joke, shaking his head. “I think he’s kept you waiting long enough. I’ll go get him”

“I don’t mind waiting-!” She tried stopping him. She was enjoying his company, but she also didn’t want to seem impatient. She was okay with waiting if it meant Seokmin could catch up with his friend.

She kept her head down until she heard the man calling her name. It seemed Seungkwan had taken his members' place to talk with their guests, sending him to his girlfriend.

She turned her head, a relieved smile finding it’s way onto her face. Seokmin held his arms open, approaching her before engulfing her in a hug. Eden wrapped her arms around his waist, patting his lower back. He rested his chin in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent that literally smelled like candy.

“Hello beautiful.” He kissed her forehead, patting the top of her head with his hand. “I’m sorry, did you wait long?”

“No no, it’s okay.” She shook her head, bringing her hand up to caress his cheek. “Did you have fun?”

“So much fun.”

“Then that’s all that matters.” She readjusted his bucket hat, rearranging his hairs that laid on his forehead.

“Did you have a good time? No troubles or anything?” He used his fingers to massage her shoulders, giving her that familiar, welcoming grin.

“It was perfect. It’s been forever since I’d seen you all perform like that. I loved it.” Eden perked up, finding his gaze. She puckered her lips, asking him for a kiss which he gladly obliged. Seokmin kissed her lips, proceeding to give her one on the cheek too.

“I just gotta pack up some of my stuff, then we can head out.” He reached for both of her hands, drawing his fingertips against hers before intertwining them. “Come with me.”

And she knew deep down, she’d follow him anywhere.

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80 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#4

Resurfacing

pairing :: eden x seokmin

word count :: 3.6k

synopsis :: eden visits seventeen at the hybe building.

warnings :: really bad angst. domestic abuse. toxic relationships. ptsd.

A/N :: ❗️ THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION! ❗️ Please don’t assume that this is what said idol is like irl. It is not meant to defame or make anyone look bad. Please let me know if there are any other warnings I should add. This one gets really heavy.

She never thought the day would come that she’d find herself standing in front of the hybe building. She much rather preferred the old practice room that Seventeen used, it was cozy and wasn’t too overwhelming to navigate. The only thing holding her back was her own anxiety. Seokmin would come to visit her in his spare time, the least she could do was get over her own fears and see him too.

Seokmin had been waiting on the first floor at the doors for her, quickly letting her in and wrapping his arm around her. “It may look a bit overwhelming but just follow me.”

She nodded, locking her arm around his waist. She had a knot in her stomach until seeing his smile, her nerves being eased little by little. It was all so high tech and fancy.

Getting to Seventeen’s practice room, they were all stretching and messing around with one another. Seokmin clapped, making his presence known and all the boys waved towards her.

It had been what felt like ages since seeing them like this. And they were all still the most welcoming. Seungkwan approached her, holding his hand up for a high five.

“It’s been forever, welcome back!” He smiled, looking at his member before back at her. “What do you think?”

“It’s huge. Has anyone gotten lost yet?”

Seungkwan looked at Seokmin, laughing before he shut up quickly because of the glare he was giving him. “Yeah, all of us have had our fair share of problems.”

“It’s the same as it’s always been. Just a bit more space, that’s all.” Seokmin smiled down at her, rubbing her shoulder while pulling her closer to his chest.

“So I guess I can just chill on the sidelines and be your guy's cheerleader?” She flattened her lips, raising her eyebrows at the two men.

“You can do whatever you want.” He reassured her. There weren't too many rules that changed, so she took it as her sign to behave like she always had. It had been years since she saw the group practice like this, she almost forgot what she would do when she visited him regularly.

“Well Eunhye, you know we’d love nothing more than to keep chatting with you, but your man has to stretch. I’m sure you don’t want her to be looking after you when you get a cramp.” Seungkwan’s eyes were strict, raising his eyebrows as Seokmin sighed.

Eden turned in his grasp, feeling him perfectly rest his chin on top of her head. She hugged him, patting his back before pulling away and smiling at him. “Go do your stretches.” He didn’t want to let go of her hand, his body turning into putty as she slipped from his fingers. Seungkwan put his hands on his shoulders, pushing him to where his members were stretching on the floor.

The girl walked toward the perimeter of the room, finding a free bench to sit and watch.

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80 notes - Posted June 20, 2022

#3

Babying

pairing :: rosie x dino

word count :: 0.8k

synopsis :: rosie takes care of dino on their tour.

warnings :: mentions of overworking oneself. rosie being a good maknae. fluff

The tv played faintly in the background as the young couple got comfortable in their hotel room. It was another night after their show that Rosie was taking care of Chan. She always found herself watching him while onstage, making sure he was okay. She was in good health minus her ankle. She was doing all she could to look after herself, now she wanted to make sure her members were healthy.

She stayed close by as he showered, knowing how dehydrated he was he could have an accident. He could dress himself for the most part, but after coming out of the bathroom, he was exhausted. He plopped down on the bed, taking a few minutes to catch his breath.

Rosie took a spare towel, patting his head with pressure to dry his hair. She pressed the back of her hand against his forehead, frowning as he still had his fever. “Still feel bad?”

He nodded, contorting his face in discomfort as all the stress from the day came pouring down on him.

“I have your medicine ready.” She helped him sit up, grabbing the water bottle from the nightstand and making sure he had a tight grip on it. She grabbed the assorted pills in her hand, Chan holding his hand out for her to pour them into his palm.

He quickly popped them into his mouth, taking a drink of water to get the pills down. Rosie supported his hand holding the bottle, looking down at him attentively. “Do you need a straw? I can get you one.”

He shook his head, waving his hand as he took another swig.

“Drink up. Even just the tiniest bit can help your body right now.”

He exhaled heavily, mentally beating himself up. Even though he didn’t desire water, he knew that it would give her some peace to see him drinking.

She crawled into the bed next to him, getting comfy against the headboard with pillows stacked. She held her arms out as her sign he could relax against her. He sighed, shifting around until he laid comfortably between her legs, his head against her tummy.

She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close while swaying side to side. She felt so helpless.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s so frustrating.” Chan sighed, patting his hand gently against her knee. She softly patted his chest while humming.

She pouted, knowing there wasn’t much she could do to ease his worries. She hoped that her hugs and affection could at least give him some clarity. “I’d take it all from you if I could.”

Her finger traced over his inner arm where he was given an IV. The site was bruised already and she couldn’t even begin to imagine how he felt.

“How’s your foot?” He considered her state too. He knew she didn’t think of it as big of a deal compared to the other members. He was still worried.

“I’m fine. I can tolerate a lot. Don’t worry about me. I just want you to look after yourself.” Rosie flattened his hair down, kissing the top of his head.

He wanted to say he was trying, but he was still blaming himself for being so weak during this time. She watched him push his limits so many times while on tour.

“It’s not a crime to rest, Chan. We understand if you need to take time to catch your breath.” She reassured him, her fingers brushing through his hair.

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?”

“Everyone is worried about me. I feel like I’m dragging you all down with me. You shouldn’t have to take care of me like this.” His hand found hers, rubbing circles around her wrist.

“Are you kidding? I love taking care of you. You’re my baby.” She chuckled while Chan smiled for the first time in days. “Everyone’s been taking care of me for years. It’s my turn now.”

“Of all times I had to get sick.” His grin faded, the guilt creeping up on him again.

“It’s okay. It is what it is and we just gotta focus on getting you better. This will pass.” She shimmied out from underneath him, helping him cover up with the blankets. “I’m gonna take a shower. Just try closing your eyes, you need all the rest you can get.”

He knew it was gonna be difficult to fall asleep on his own, but he couldn’t ignore her demands no matter how hard he tried. She stroked his cheek, pushing his hair out of his face as she kissed his forehead.

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81 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#2

IN THE SOOP EP. 1 + 2

pairing :: rosie x seventeen

word count :: 2.0k

synopsis :: seventeen get settled in in the soop

a/n :: Italics = interview parts

“I don’t really remember much from my trainee days. I feel like my brain was still developing and therefore can’t remember even the simplest things. Memories were made when I debuted. I remember everything from then on. I can’t sympathize with the members when they say it’s hard for them to take breaks. I trained with girls so we had a different regimen.”

“Even with TTT, our instinct is to be funny. We still have cameras around us and sometimes scripts. I just hope this will truly be a time to rest and rejuvenate ourselves.”

Seungkwan set his bag on the floor, watching as Rosie sat across from him and buckling their seat belts. “Wonwoo fighting!”

“It’ll be tiring, but you can do it.” Seungkwan encouraged him, yawning and pressing his head against the window.

She played games on her phone before Dino spoke up. “Did Seungkwan sleep late last night?”

She looked over at him, knocked out asleep. “Don’t you think he’s gonna wake up with a cramp?” She chuckled before looking out the window.

The girl was the first one to hop out of the car when they arrived. She took a good minute to stretch her legs and arms from being confined for so long.

[Q. Your first impression of “In the SOOP”?]

“The minute I stepped out of the car, I suddenly got really paranoid. Like am I gonna get a bunch of bug bites? It was very overwhelming. I didn’t know how to feel. I don’t ever get homesick but I just kinda felt out of place. Maybe it’s because I’ve never gone camping before.”

She skipped over to the pond where DK and Jeonghan were singing a jingle. “There’s tadpoles.”

She squealed, kneeling down and taking her phone out to take pictures of the tadpoles.

“Jeonghan loves catching tadpoles.” Wonwoo sat back and observed Rosie and Dino who got closer towards the water.

“You can pick them up? Is that safe?” She turned around at the older member who then nodded back at her. She put her phone back into her pocket, rolling up her sleeves and cupping her hand and carefully scooping one of the tadpoles.

“Awe! They’re so cute!” She gently put it back into the water, picking up another one.

“I wanna try.” Dino pouted, getting scared as Rosie and Jeonghan picked them up effortlessly. She giggled at him, taking his hand and helping him catch one in his hands. He tensed up, afraid he would hurt the tadpole or it would hurt him.

“It’s okay, they don’t bite. They’re just trying to grow up.” He smiled back at her as they continued to catch tadpoles.

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85 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Mirrors

pairing :: rosie x dino

word count :: 0.7k

synopsis :: rosie and dino are left alone in the practice room.

time :: april 2018

warnings :: suggestive, comedy, floof

Chan finished vacuuming the practice room, unplugging it from the outlet and putting it in the closet. It was another day where he would be a good maknae and offer to tidy up. He knew that whenever he would do that, Rosie would stay back behind with him to keep him company.

That’s exactly what she did today. She helped him by dusting and wiping down the mirrors so they were spotless. She finished up by packing up her backpack that she had for the day. She had nothing more to do, so she stood up from the floor and started piecing together some of the choreography they learned today.

She made sure her limbs were precise, emphasizing each move slowly. Chan slipped back in the practice room, watching her from afar. He crossed his arms, biting his lip while watching her reflection in the mirror.

When she finally felt his eyes in her, she looked at him in the mirror and got flustered. “Am I doing something wrong? Did I mess it up?”

He chuckled, shaking his head while walking behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “No, you’ve got it down perfectly. I just can’t believe how pretty you are.”

She felt her cheeks and ears ignite with heat. Between his affirmations and arms around her, she thought she could combust at any moment.

He pushed her hair to the other side, revealing her neck and placing delicate kisses. Something about it felt so wrong but exciting to her at the same time.

He turned her around in his grasp, one hand on her hip while the other caressed her cheek. He carefully backed her up against the mirror, her skin making contact with the chilly glass.

“Chan, I-I just cleaned these.”

“And?” He flashed her a cocky smile, caging her between his arms as his hands pressed against the mirror.”

“Come on, your fingerprints!” She furrowed her eyebrows, knowing well she couldn’t stay mad at him just for that reason, not when the tension in the air was overwhelming.

“I’ll clean them, don’t worry.” He almost towered over her, leaning down and capturing her lips in a kiss. She would be stupid not to kiss him back. She lifted her arms to wrap around his neck as his tongue slipped past her lips, causing another strike of electricity to course through her veins.

It felt so liberating to Chan that they were finally alone together, somewhere that wasn’t their bedrooms. The mirrors were starting to fog up as each kiss deepened and it was getting harder to breathe.

“What the hell are you two doing?” The familiar voice of Jeonghan echoed through the practice room. Rosie quickly opened her eyes, pushing Chan off of her to see him and Joshua dumbfounded. She put her hand on her hip, using her other to cover her mouth to hopefully hide her swollen lips. The long, heavy breaths they both took was enough proof they were making out.

Chan was shaken, scratching the back of his head while stuttering on his words. “I thought you guys had left? Why are you back?”

“Joshua forgot something. Are you busy? Should we go?”

“I presume Chan finally confessed his love to you?” Joshua teased the boy, watching him widen his eyes as if to tell him to shut up.

“Hyung!” He blushed while whining at him.

“You knew?” Rosie butted into the conversation, looking back and forth between a chan and the older men.

“Please, he would never shut up about you.” Jeonghan watched as Joshua went to find what he forgot.

She snickered, looking over at Chan who was trying to get them to shut up. “No, I confessed first. Give me some credit.”

They were shocked once again, their jaws hanging low trying not to laugh at Chan.

Joshua patted Jeonghan’s shoulder before pulling him to the exit. “Well don’t be out too late, guys. Don’t do anything stupid and be safe. The eldest winked at Chan.

“Maybe calm down on the pda too.”

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88 notes - Posted May 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hannieween]

badsleeper | city lights series

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader x yoon jeonghan ✮ genre: a tiny bit of fluff and angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, boyfriend joshua, best friend jeonghan, friends to fucking ✮ word count: 24.5k

🎧: step? – bibi | say nothing – yugyeom ft. leehi | nvrmnd – soulbysel ft i.m | bonnie & clyde – dean

→ previous chapters – read more – playlist

› nsfw warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: smut with plot, alcohol consumption (no dub con), threesome, no cheating, another obnoxiously long sex scene, dom joshua, dom jeonghan, brat reader, foul language, a bit of praise/degradation kink, dirty talk, voyeurism, oral sex (m, f), rough bj, cumeating, cumplay, unprotected p in v sex, jealousy, possessiveness, manhandling, tag teaming, rough sex, doggy style, dumbification, near religious experience during sex, crymaxing, use of butt plugs, anal sex, double penetration, aftercare. brat taming: spanking, light bondage. pet names: baby, princess, bunny (hers) babe, baby, baby boy, handsome (joshua's) ✮ a/n: hiii! to preface this i'd like to let you all know that this chapter is canon to the series. and also this is a little self indulgent thing i've been planning for months (literally this draft has been collecting dust since december 2023) so.... i hope y'all indulge with me ε('｡•᎑•`)っ💖 ✮ a/n ii: there's a weird time jump in the middle of the chapter but.... i hit text block limit again and didn't want to split this chapter ✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part ix — finale

"It pains me to say this but, this is not going to work."

An elderly woman standing nearby glanced at you and the tall, handsome man before you. A surprised look on her face upon overhearing him announce such a thing in the middle of an airport.

Jeonghan broke in laughter before you could formulate a response. You rolled your eyes and pushed his shoulder with one hand.

"Very funny," you mumbled embarrassedly.

"Ah, come on, princess, have a little fun," he teased, a smile that only foretold his upcoming playfulness. "Aren't you going to miss me?"

"You'll be gone for a week. I'll survive," you rolled your eyes, arms crossing on your chest. "Maybe I'll miss you a little."

"Well, I won't," he laughed cheekily before continuing on his little act, raising his two hands, palms exposed to you in a gesture of finalization: "I am tired of babysitting you. You're awfully corny and overbearing all the time and I need a break. It's time that we saw different people."

You could tell he was acting, but something about him doing it with such ease made you pause. "Hannie, do you actually think that about me?" you asked, your voice dropping drastically.

Jeonghan's smile dropped, his lips pouting as he spoke: "Of course not, why would you believe that I'd think that?"

You instantly composed into a bright smile. "I'm playing with you," you chirped.

"Tsk, you little rascal," he scoffed, swiftly wrapping an arm around your head. "C'mere," he muttered as he ran his knuckles on the crown of your head.

"Stop it," you hissed, trying to get him to stop hugging your head to breathe.

"Okay, okay. I have to go now," he said, releasing his hold on you to take a look at his watch.

"Have fun on your trip, Jeonghan," you smiled at him, debating whether to hug him goodbye or not. You knew he wasn't big on hugs or gestures of affection, but you couldn't fight the impulse of opening your arms to him.

He paused for one second before taking you in for a quick hug, using his hand to ruffle your hair once again with. "Right," he muttered awkwardly and shifted the weight on the bag hanging on his shoulder.

Jeonghan began to turn away, and you almost wanted to let him walk further but you quickly called. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

He stopped in his tracks, turned, and walked right back to you, fishing something out of the pockets of his black sweats. He grabbed the key to his car from the ring with his fingers, dangling them in front of your eyes.

You reached out to get the key, but he quickly snatched it away before getting it on your grasp.

"You get one scratch on it and it's over for you," he muttered dead serious, eyes locking with yours, he had to tilt his head forward to do so.

"What are you going to do?" you challenged, holding his gaze.

You could tell that he wasn't expecting that, a smirk appeared on his lips. "I'll make you pay for it in some way or form," he shrugged.

"Don't worry I'll take care of it," you said with ease.

"Are you sure, though?" he said, still holding the key to his car up in the air and out of your grasp, he teased nodding his head at you: "Let me see your license again."

"Jeonghan, you need to go now or you're going to miss your flight," you rolled your eyes.

"Fine," he said, lowering his arm for you to grab the key, but quickly snatched it again. "No eating in my car. And don't have your boyfriend fuck you in there, trust me, I'll know."

"Jeonghan!" you squealed dramatically and looked around you to make sure no one overheard him.

However the man in front of you laughed at you with amusement, his nose wrinkling, mouth opened wide as he did so. But he finally handed you the key to his car.

"One scratch," he lifted one finger at you as a stern warning, but the smiling features of his face betrayed him. He patted your head one more time, turning away as he said. "Try not to miss me too much, princess."

Something deep within you twisted in nervousness, so hard that it robbed you of speech. You wished that you had recovered fast enough to tell him something, anything. But by then, Jeonghan had already disappeared in the sea of people, you couldn't even spot him by the yellow hoodie he was wearing. His favorite one.

With some reluctance, you turned to walk out and towards the spot Jeonghan had parked his flashy and elegant car. In some way the black BMW M3 screamed rich guy with a very expensive taste. At first glance even, anyone would think it's a car for someone serious, not the friend that has the comedic skill of a clown.

But as you slid yourself into the driver's seat, a deep sense of alarm and nervousness kicked right in. Releasing a shaky sigh, you gathered your hair in a ponytail, securing it with a pink scrunchie; somehow having your hair out of the way made you feel focused.

It had been a while since you drove a car. Reminiscing on the very old skill you acquired during your college days, you adjusted the seat so that your arms could reach the steering wheel without stretching your arms too much. Then you did the same for the mirrors, catching the anxious expression on your face.

But despite your self-consciousness, you arrived home safe. As a celebratory act you untied your hair, leaving your scrunchie behind, perhaps forgotten in Jeonghan's car with your many other lost scrunchies.

Deeply compelling, bloody, and sexy.

Those were the words swimming around most of the early reviews of your book. For better or worse, the popularity of your book had risen quite dramatically even days before its official release, so you kind of had to brace yourself for all kinds of chatter around it.

You had to refrain yourself from seeing reviews so early, since you didn't want to be influenced while working on the draft for the second book in the trilogy.

So needless to say, your book is doing fine.

Stepping out of the elevator and into the hallway that led into your apartment, you noticed quickly that the door next to yours was open. A tight, flashing pain crossed your heart when you understood that someone was viewing Joshua's old apartment.

It was inevitable that you would get new neighbors, and it seemed funny for a second to you that you were stuck with grief for the time when Joshua was just thirty seconds away from you.

Joshua was still away. He left the following day of your book release, only after pampering you with love, and anything that you requested. He would only be away for a few more days to finish recording Midnight Haze's first studio album, and then he'd be back, though for how long he didn't know yet.

Back in your apartment, you went directly to your bedroom, opened the drawers of your dresser and started to move your stuff to make space for Joshua's clothes. Subconsciously, you started threading on the intricate details that you needed to get done for the second book draft. Since there was nothing better you could occupy your mind with, that could actually put you to work.

But your thoughts inevitably drifted away as you cleared one of the drawers for your boyfriend's stuff. Then, you found yourself thinking of him, of the time he was here last; he made you breakfast before you woke up, you found him munching on some blueberries as he served you a plate of french toast.

Joshua had been keeping his promise, getting your texts back and calling you every night before he goes to bed; he does this last thing even though you might not share the same time zones—he knows that you'll be awake.

Sleeping alone resulted even more difficult, now that your body has had a taste of what it feels like sleeping in the warmth of your boyfriend's loving embrace. Even though you haven't shared that many nights with him as an actual couple, it was something you wished you had more of.

"All I'm saying is that food tastes better with a recently cleaned mouth."

"That's psycho behavior," you replied, rolling your eyes to the ceiling, while holding your phone to your ear.

"Oh, so you're saying that you never wash your mouth, got it," Jeonghan said jokingly, he had been going for what felt like hours.

"No, you're saying that orange juice tastes better after brushing your teeth!" you squealed, huffing loudly when you heard his mocking chuckle of his.

"I'm just teasing you," he mumbled.

"I know, I hate it," you said, but there was a smile on your face.

You heard the loud slurping noises as Jeonghan ate noodles. "Shouldn't you be asleep right now, by the way?" he asked and you could tell that his mouth was full.

"Can't sleep," you muttered as you scrolled through the draft to your second book. "I have a ton of work to do."

"Wait, you're working? Isn't it like... three in the morning right now?"

You hated that you could almost picture him raising his wrist to check out his smartwatch.

“Yeah, it is,” you mumbled aloofly as you skimmed through one of the monitors of your computer. 

“God, you are a workaholic,” he tutted. “Don’t you ever take a break?” 

“I do whenever I submit a draft,” you mused, smiling to the irony. 

“You should be resting,” he insisted. “You know, the hotel where I’m staying right now is very nice and it’s not as expensive as I thought it would be…”

Something caught your eye when you opened up your emails tab. “Oh,” you uttered when your eyes went over the mail. 

“What?” you heard Jeonghan reply. “I’m just saying that you and Joshua could come together, you know, you both deserve a break from work.”

You paused, focusing on the contents of the email that you received hours ago, but neglected since you were preoccupied with drafting the second book. “Oh,” you gasped. 

“Hello?” Jeonghan said after a few seconds. “Did I say something wrong?” 

“No, not at all,” you laughed in utter bewilderment. 

“I am very confused,” he confessed. “What’s going on?”

“I am being nominated for an award,” you gasped. “Well, not me, but my book.” 

“Same thing,” he replied. “That’s exciting news, princess. Did you find out just now?”

“Yeah! I’m just reading the email right now,” you laughed with incredulous joy. 

“See? That’s something to celebrate,” he insisted. “Another reason why you should take a break.”

“Or it is another reason to keep working so the second book meets the readers’ expectations,” you countered with a mad rush in your brain, pushing you to sit through more hours of typing. 

“You are so annoying,” Jeonghan said, but you knew by the tone in his voice that he was smiling. “Listen, I booked a tour and it’s just about to start so, call you later?” 

“Yeah, sure,” you blinked back to reality. “Enjoy your tour, Jeongjeong.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh, wait!” you squealed. 

“Yeah?” he waited. 

“I forgot to ask you,” you sighed embarrassedly, bringing your palm to your forehead with a smack. “Joshua is arriving in a few hours and I wanted to ask you if I could borrow your car.” 

There was a pause, and you almost decided to take it back and tell him that you could take a taxi there. 

“Of course, princess,” he replied. “You don’t have to ask.”

“Sure?” 

“Just remember, no scratches and no fucking in my car,” he giggled deviously when you squealed out his name.

The line went dead after that. 

You took part of Jeonghan’s advice, shutting the computer off and deciding to go to bed and attempt to sleep again. 

The pink scrunchie was sitting around the rear mirror of Jeonghan's car when you slid yourself into the driver's seat. Letting out a big puff of air, you gathered your hair all in a ponytail, securing it with the scrunchie and then started the car. 

You were extremely nervous. And not because you were driving the most expensive thing you had ever touched in your life. But because Joshua was finally coming home from the tour. It felt like he had gone for so long it seemed ridiculous to you that only 4 weeks and a half had passed. 

It was the reason why you left your apartment with ample time to get to the airport on time and also to drive at a very slow pace, you were simply too nervous to go in the middle lane. 

Maybe you were, in fact, an old lady. At least in spirit, as Jeonghan would say.  

You remembered the fact that not only Jeonghan had called you that, but also Joshua called you something similar once, a long time ago it felt like. You thought about how similar your boyfriend and his best friend were in some aspects in relation to their personality. 

It seemed obvious that the similarities would make them friends. But sometimes, it felt too eerie to be just a coincidental case of telling the same jokes. 

When you got to the airport, you still had about half an hour to kill yet. And you were grateful that you had brought a book with your person. To kill time and to occupy your brain with something other than work. Or Joshua. Or Jeonghan. 

So you sat back comfortably on the driver's seat. Getting the faint smell of Jeonghan's cologne, and even if you dared to admit it, you got a vague smell of the flavor of vape that he really likes. The green apple one. 

You shook your head slightly, trying to regain focus on the words printed on the book you were holding against the steering wheel. 

You thought about the soft leather coating the steering wheel, how it was so new that it still had that brand new smell to it. Probably why Jeonghan is so overbearing about his car, is because it's so expensive and new that he wants absolutely nothing to taint it, such as eating on its leather seats. Or fucking.

You sighed in complete resignation, dropping your book back into your bag and opened the door. You stepped out of the black car, getting an odd look from a man that was passing by. 

"Huh," you huffed to yourself. Stepping out of a luxurious car really gave you a sense of dominance, and you found out you liked it. 

You locked the car and walked to the big doors of the vast airport. Being welcomed with buzzing noise and a ton of people walking around, some hurriedly, some laid back. 

You checked out your phone in the hopes of having a text from Joshua, but you knew it was nearly futile. He was still in the air, so that meant he was using that time to get some sleep. 

"Mmm," you hummed, pursing your lips and looking around to decide what to do in order to kill the time. And to think of something that wasn't fucking in a car. So you decided to get in line for an obnoxiously expensive cup of coffee and decided to get a cookie with it too. 

You knew that your lack of focus was partly due to your bad sleeping habits. But you were also so nervous about Joshua coming home that your brain struggled to put your thoughts in order. 

A quarter of an hour passed by at a slug's pace. Joshua texted you simply one word, "Landed." 

you: I'll meet you here 🙂  Josh ♡: you're here at the airport baby?  you: I am 

Joshua stopped texting and you assumed that he had to pick up his luggage. So you rose to your feet, keeping yourself on the lookout for the face you were dying to see. 

But the place was swarming with dozens of different faces, it was hard to keep up, and due to your lack of focus it was a bit more difficult to be fast and discern strangers. 

A tall man of ashy blond hair drew your attention instinctively, raising some alarm in your sluggish brain that you knew him. It took you seconds, seeing the guitar case on one hand, his duffel bag strapped to his shoulder to understand that Joshua was walking towards you, a shy bur fond smile painted on his face. 

He must have seen the surprise in your facial expression, because his eyes lit up. "Hi bunny," he muttered. 

You simply just threw your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to clash your lips against his. "Josh…" 

"Baby," he giggled when you pressed your lips repeatedly against his lips, cheeks and the tip of his nose.

"Missed you," you mumbled, forgetting that you were in a very public space with tons of eyes watching you shower your boyfriend with kisses. 

"I missed you too, bunny," he sighed, the arm around you tightening its grip, bringing you closer to him. 

"Let's go home," your tone quivered slightly. 

"I love the sound of that," he said, his glinting eyes smiling at you. 

"Come on," you grabbed his hand and pulled him to the exit. 

"Hold on. Should we grab a taxi or…"

"Don't worry, I got it," you smiled anxiously, fishing out the keys to Jeonghan's car and displaying them in your hand. 

"What's this?" he asked and immediately added: "You got a car?"

"No, silly," you giggled sweetly. "It's Jeonghan's."

He sent you an bewildered look. "He left his car with you?" 

"Yeah, he lets me use it while he's not here," you shrugged with ease. "Come on, baby boy. I'm driving."

Joshua smiled with a fondness you recognized he expressed whenever he found you cute. But he fell in step with you, lacing your fingers with his as you walked out of the airport and to the parking lot. 

"This is exciting," he said once he closed the door to the passenger's seat.

"Put your seatbelt on," you told him, sending him a shameful glance. "Please."

Joshua let out a soft giggle. "Sure thing, ma'am." 

"Don't call me ma'am," you said with a whiny tone in frustration. 

"Okay," he whispered, and you saw his downturned smile, he was trying not to laugh. 

"And try your best not to distract me," you requested firmly as you gathered your hair in a ponytail. 

"How would I distract you?" he asked with genuine curiosity in his tone. 

"You just do," you mumbled, reaching out to brush his long hair with your fingers. 

"Do you like it?" he cocked his blond hair forward slightly, letting you thread the pads of your fingers through his new hair. 

"I do," you admitted. "Though I think I'd even like you bald."

Joshua chuckled sweetly, lifting his chin to you as he said. "Don't tempt me."

"Would you do it?" you asked, seeing the devious glint in his eyes. 

"Maybe time will do it for me, but yeah. If you wanted me," he said, but there was a hollow tone in his words, his gaze was focused on your eyes, and then it moved to your lips.

His long fingers cupped your chin gently and his eyes, briefly finding yours before he leaned forward to lock his lips with yours, his breath hitching audibly as you moaned when his tongue traced a line on your lower lip. 

"See, you're distracting," you mumbled, before diving in for a deeper kiss, demanding more, trying to make up for lost time. 

"Sorry, baby," he giggled and braced himself for a slap that you delivered on his shoulder. 

"Put your seatbelt on," you hissed, settling back to the seat and starting the car. 

"Yes, ma'am," Joshua breathed out, putting his seatbelt on as you drove out of the parking lot and into the highway.

Despite Joshua being on a short break, he still had a lot of things to tend to. Primarily, visiting his family, his mom and spending some quality time with them. Secondly, he gathered his stuff to bring into your apartment, thus finally moving in with you. Between the move, and him catching up with his life back home, he barely had time to spend with you.

Three days after Joshua arrived home, and deciding that a very long weekend's rest was sorely deserved, you and Joshua boarded a plane, also partly convinced by Jeonghan to go on vacation where he was located at the moment. 

One thing led to another and you were now resting on a beautiful suite, after a long night of traveling with your boyfriend, boarding planes and getting little to no sleep during the flight.

So you were slowly awakened by the gentle sound of waves crashing against the distant shore outside the hotel windows. When you opened your eyes, you were greeted by the brightness of the white room, the curtains opened to let in the pale morning light.

As you lay face down in the large bed covered with white sheets, plush pillows, and duvet, you blindly reached out one arm to find both sides cold. So you turned your head to try to get a view of the room around you.

"Josh?" you called, even though you were aware that you weren't getting a response.

Your phone was left abandoned on the bedside table, but the bed was so large and you were slotted right in the center of it, and being so that you were still drowsy from the very long sleep, you didn't feel like moving yet. So you closed your eyes again, letting yourself drift back into a dream with a deep sigh. 

When you woke up again, feeling ready to roll out of bed, you realized that you wouldn't be able to reach Joshua on his phone, since he had left it beside yours, much as if he had preemptively left it behind so he wouldn't have to worry about getting more calls, more messages.

Fighting your way out of the tucked bed sheets, you decided to get a shower to wash away the last slivers of drowsiness that still wanted to cling onto your body.

So you were returning to the bedroom, drying your hair absentmindedly while checking your phone when you heard Joshua return to the suite quietly, probably assuming that he would find you asleep.

But upon seeing you sitting at the foot of the bed, he paused for a second.

"Morning," you muttered dryly.

"Hi baby," he replied with a puffy sigh.

Joshua was covered in sweat, making his ashy blond hair stick to the sides of his face and forehead. He was breathing tiredly, tongue hanging in a gesture of exhaustion.

"Went for a run," he commented in passing, kicking his trainers off. "The weather is nice, it's really hot."

His arms arched back to grab at the hem of his sleeveless tee, yanking it off his body with one move to toss it. Your boyfriend continued to peel his sweaty clothes off, revealing his body as he tossed more clothes on the armchair in the corner of the room.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" you asked slowly as you watched him walk off to the bathroom.

"Have to meet up with a potential manager," he called loudly as he started a shower. "Apparently he's taken an interest in us from a while back. And he's here so I thought it would be a good opportunity to meet up."

You nodded, pursing your lips in contempt as he walked back to toss his boxers with the rest of his dirty clothes.

"I'd ask you to join me in the shower but," he nodded at you.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," you raised from the bed to remove the bathrobe and start dressing up.

If Joshua noticed you were in a bad mood then, he made no comment about it. He just turned around, closing the door of the bathroom to continue with his shower.

You decided to busy yourself, dressing up extra slowly, pulling out from your luggage a lingerie set that you brought in the hopes of it being complimented, and a beautiful summer dress in a color that accentuated your body prettily.

Your boyfriend came back shortly, the lower half of his body after draped in a towel, skin glistening wet now but all clean. His ashy blond hair was pulled back now, dripping onto his neck.

"We could do something tonight," he muttered with some caution as he removed the towel from his body and started to get ready for his appointment.

"Yeah, I'd like that," you pressed your lips into a smile, but even as you did so, you felt unconvincing.

You were suddenly torn with your own reproach at him for barely even spending time with you and at the same time, you couldn't believe that what it took for you to be distracted away from that state of scorn was seeing him naked.

However, Joshua knew what he was playing at, he had you completely figured out. He opened one door to the closet, grabbing the first pair of briefs he found, using his body's motion as he turned to sneak a look at you, finding your gaze trained on his body.

"You're not mad at me anymore?" he asked, a slow smirk curving his pillowy lips.

"I was not mad," you replied with a small voice, sitting back on the foot of the bed.

"Mm, okay," he nodded with his head once, putting on the stretchy boxers with a swift move.

Then one of his knees sank on the edge of the bed, leaning his body forward, motioning your body back on the mattress. A low grunt escaped you as he was now pinning you with his own weight, your pretty sundress being pulled back on your thighs by a large hand.

"You are terrible at lying," he mused with a half smile, the studded eyebrow twitching up briefly. "Even moreso, you're terrible at keeping promises."

You let out a muffle whine when Joshua pressed his hips against yours, making you feel his growing bulge on your core.

"What are you talking about," you muttered, torn between paying attention to what his body was doing and his accusatory words.

"You promised you would tell me everything," he said darkly, but leaned his head sideways to reach your neck with his mouth, muttering against your skin: "You're mad at me, I can tell."

"Am not," you replied, fidgeting under his weight, hands clutching at his bare and stocky shoulders.

"Try again," he chuckled, pressing his lips and tongue on the sweet spot below your earlobe, sucking in a love bite, having a flash of arousal cross your body straight to your core.

"Fuck," your legs tensed up when he started to suck on your skin harsher. "Gentle, Joshua."

"Answer the question," he immediately retorted, nudging his nose on your jawline to lean your head back, so he could run the tip of his tongue on neck, littering it with kisses.

It was hard to focus now. But with a low gasp, you replied. "You are bad at keeping promises too," you stated weakly.

A hand snaked on top of your chest, fingers raking on your skin as he yanked the side part of the sundress to prop another merciless lovebite in a collarbone.

"You-you told me you would make time for me," you stammered, feeling stupid over your sudden loss of boldness.

"And I did," he said sharply, moving his head to look you in the eyes. "Baby, I've cleared my schedule for us tonight."

You pouted briefly, bringing up a finger to caress his beautiful lips.

"Now you, on the other hand, haven't replied to my question," he muttered, his words partly muffled by the fingers on his lips. He shifted his weight, propping one elbow beside you so he could grab your hand.

You dared to roll your eyes hard at him, but that in turn made him smile broadly at you.

"You're still mad at me, but that doesn't stop you from eyefucking me," a wolfish grin appeared on his beautiful face. "Are you wet right now, baby?"

Joshua pressed his lips against the pads of your fingers as his eyes looked at you fondly, amused by your torn behavior. You nodded with your head in affirmation, unable to bring yourself to speak the words.

"You've been neglecting me a little," you whispered, shifting your gaze to his collarbones to avoid his.

"How does it feel, baby?" Joshua asked, releasing your hand to stroke the side of your head, gently threading his long fingers through your wet hair.

"Is this some kind of punishment, then?" you snapped, feeling something click inside your brain.

"No, of course not," he leaned his head closer, pressing his lips flush against yours, slowly at first, repeatedly as he said. "But you told me, you promised me you would talk to me. I have to search for ways for you to do it."

"I just haven't had the chance to, we've both been busy," you retorted with a pained smile, trying to hold his gaze.

"You don't have any issues telling Jeonghan stuff."

"That's hurtful, Joshua," you muttered with a tiny voice, shrinking under his weight.

"Am I lying?"

"Joshua, he is my friend, friends tell each other things, is that bad?" you were applying pressure on his shoulders now, trying to make him budge.

"And I am your boyfriend," he blinked, as equally offended as you. "It's also hurtful that you trust him more than me."

"Is this because I didn't tell you about the award?" you finally caught on. 

Maybe you didn't care about the award, maybe you did. But the truth was, you simply forgot about telling your boyfriend about it and in passing, Jeonghan mentioned it in front of Joshua, in a manner of congratulating you for the milestone. 

Joshua retreated his body, rising up from the bed with an irked air around him, you saw the features of his face harden and he turned away. It was clear to you now that he was jealous and you almost felt stupid for not realizing it sooner.

"No," he replied nonchalantly as he fetched a denim shirt from the closet, putting it on and as he buttoned it up, he rasped: "Yes."

You shrugged slowly. "I found out when I was on the phone with him," you explained, though the feeling of guilt started to set in.

"Still, you didn't mention it to me."

You scrunched up your face in shame and guilt. He was right. You found out about the award days ago, and you failed to tell him about it, all because of your stupid lack of focus lately.

"I'm sorry," you said as you sat up on the bed again, fixing your dress. "I should've said something."

Joshua turned to find his jeans, putting on the ripped black denim in one go. He kept pensively quiet as he slipped on his chelsea boots and rose to his feet.

"I'll call you when I get off," he said, stepping closer to the foot of the bed to cup the back of your head with one hand, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"Joshua..." you started, trying to reach for his hand to stop him leaving abruptly.

"It's okay," his gaze softened before his lips captured your own with a light kiss. "I'm not mad. I just wished you'd talked to me."

"And I wish that you could actually make time for me," you whispered, feeling your heart race under the stress of fighting with him.

"I know," he replied in the same fashion as you. "I know baby, I don't enjoy this either... I'm sorry too."

You nodded with your head, choking up on words that you thought of telling him as you waited before he got back to the hotel room. With a frustrated sob, you reached to cup the back of his head too, bringing him closer for a deep kiss.

"I love you," you whispered.

"I love you too, baby. I'll meet you later," he replied, pressing one final kiss to your lips and then your forehead before slipping from your grasp and walking out the room, thus leaving you alone again.

For what could amount to years, you have been really good at taking yourself out to dates. It had been so long since you dated that you were accustomed to being on your own, and you found out that you liked it. You relished in solitude.

You made yourself a mini trip. First you went to grab yourself some breakfast in a lovely restaurant with an outdoors table set with a nice view to the ocean. Then, you walked down the streets, sightseeing in the pretty places, going inside the stores that looked appealing until you reached a museum.

It had been within your plans to maybe go there with Joshua for a little date. Perhaps even, go to the beach together. But you swiftly put those ideas aside, realizing that due to the time crunch he was in it was probable that you weren't meeting him until sundown.

So you were strolling around the different pieces of art on display, fanning yourself with the brochure you were given upon entering the place. The hair on the back of your neck was sticking to your skin due to the sweat that trickled down your head during your walk there.

"I should've known I'd find you here."

You instantly spun on your feet to look back. Jeonghan was closing the distance between you, hands deep in the pockets of his shorts. Despite the weather outside, he was wearing a beanie, probably to cover up his messy long hair.

"What are you doing here?" you inquired with a shaky tone from the surprise of seeing him there. Of all the places, this is one you didn't think you would meet.

"I like museums," he shrugged, but then added: "They make up for great instagram photos."

He pressed his lips in the tiniest of smiles when you rolled your eyes, smirking at him as he finally walked up to you.

"Are you alone?" he asked, looking around the large room. "Where is your boyfriend?"

You saw it in his eyes that he already knew, but nodded when you only muttered. "Working."

"Trouble in paradise, again?" he mused, tilting his head to one side, reading your facial features expertly.

"It's nothing," you averted your gaze from him and onto the display you had in front of you.

But the deep feeling of remorse parking on the pit of your stomach was eating you up. You hated that you felt guilty about telling Jeonghan stuff about your relationship, you hated the fact that Joshua had brought it up.

"I don't know if this will work, Jeonghan," you whispered despite the tears threatening to break you.

"This?"

When you could finally look back at him, there was a frown on his face, the soft lines between his eyebrows deepening as he tried to figure you out.

Then you saw it when he connected your words together, he released the tension on his brow.

"Oh, don't be silly," he tried to smile, to see if you replied with one of your own but when you didn't, and you couldn't stop your lip from quivering, he sighed. "You're only saying that because you're scared. Talk it out with him."

"But we don't actually see each other, and when we do, we don't... talk much," you muttered shamefully, driving your gaze elsewhere and resumed your walk around the gallery.

"What are you actually worried about, then?" he fell into step closely behind you. "From my point of view, you seem like you're only mad that you're not spending time together like you used to."

"But," you blurted, turning around to face him again, making him stop in his walk abruptly before bumping into you. "Sorry."

"Don't be," he whispered, but there was something in his mannerism that made you pause. "But...?"

"It's nothing."

You flicked your hair off your sweaty neck, to keep fanning yourself with the brochure.

Jeonghan's eyes followed your movements with his eyes, inevitably spotting the red hickey below your earlobe that your boyfriend made before leaving the hotel room and a hot wave of embarrassment washed over your face, making you drop your gaze to the ground.

"Tell you what," he muttered, seemingly unaffected by the very toxic display of possessiveness. "Let's go grab a beer and something to eat. Forget about all of this, maybe that's what you really need."

You gathered the strength to look at his face again. Jeonghan pressed his lips in a cute smile, making tiny dimples show on his chin.

"Yeah, okay, I'd like that," you decided with a nod of your head.

"Let's go," he cocked his head in the direction of the museum's entrance and started to walk.

You followed him in silence, feeling uneasy still by Jeonghan seeing your hickeys for some reason you couldn't explain.

Your fingers dragged a large fry on a puddle of ketchup on your plate, you were conscious that your stomach was full, but you were in a mood in which you preferred to keep eating instead of talking about your feelings.

"Are you ordering more?" Jeonghan eyed the lonely fry sitting on the plate, and then your face as you munched silently.

"I don't think I can eat more," you admitted with a slurred speech.

"Tsk," he clicked his tongue with an amused smile.

Jeonghan raised his wrist, pulling his sleeve to uncover his smartwatch.

"D'you think Joshua is still in that meeting?" he asked with some caution to the look he sent you.

It had been hours since your last interaction with your boyfriend, his last text five hours ago read that his impromptu meeting was extending and that it was too important for his band to just cut it short or postpone.

"I think that he forgot about me," you replied bitterly, lifting the large jar which was half full of beer. "And I don't care if he did, I don't wanna think about him."

Worry flashed across Jeonghan's face but he quickly composed himself to ask for the bill and then he turned to you.

"What?" you blurted.

"Do you know how to play pool?"

"Nope," you replied in the same manner.

"Come on, I'll teach you," he pulled out a bill that would cover both of your meals and stood from the booth.

"What, wait," you stammered before grabbing your things and following him out the restaurant.

"Careful," he muttered when you caught up with him, drunk enough that you nearly stumbled against his frame. His hands came to your arms behind you to help you stabilize.

"Thank you, Jeongjeong," you muttered with a chuckle. "And for the food too. Next one's on me, alright?"

The weather had dropped dramatically, the skirt of your pretty summer dress rippled against the breeze that swept down the street.

"Don't worry about it," he said, the hair that wasn't secured by his beanie ruffled against his neck.

"Oh," you uttered when your phone suddenly started buzzing in your handbag.

But just as you were about to see what it was, Jeonghan was tugging your arm with his hand, pulling you aside on the sidewalk before you stomped against a lightpost. You yelped and staggered against his frame, a drunken laugh erupting out of you.

"Watch where you're going, princess," he chuckled, grabbing your arms to keep you on your feet.

"Sorry, sorry," you mumbled, raising your chin to meet his gaze.

You realized with a start just how close his face was with yours, your breath hitched audibly and you pulled back from him.

"Don't be," he said and turned to the door behind him, which you realized was the entrance to a bar. "After you."

You breathed out in utter embarrassment, thinking of saying something to him, maybe cut the outing and leave to the hotel room.

But Jeonghan smiled cutely at you, cocking his head towards the door, motioning you inside.

You walked into the buzzing of the bar, instantly being swept by the dark mood of its interior. Exposed brick walls, checkered sticky floors, dimly lit tables, the distant sounds of the pool tables in the back of the place.

"Come," Jeonghan muttered on your side, and you followed him closely through the wooden chairs and tables until you reached the rows of pool tables and found one that was vacant for you two.

Jeonghan ordered two beers and paid in advance. Turning to you with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Hope you brought cash," he smirked, holding a bill between his pointer and middle finger to you as he set it on the bartop mounted on the wall behind you.

"My wallet cries every time I'm with you," you joked, settling your bag on the bartop and pulling out a bill to stamp it on top of his.

"Don't act like you don't enjoy this," he grabbed one of the cue sticks and handed it to you. "Ladies first."

"Don't you think it's unfair to place bets when I don't know how to play?" you inquired, tilting your head to one side.

Jeonghan grabbed the recently brought beer bottles, handed you one and then he raised his to you. "I'll go easy on you."

You clinked the neck of your beer with his. "I'll take your word for it, Yoon Jeonghan."

Jeonghan tipped the bottle between his smiling lips, drinking in with you.

"But first," he mused, pointing at your face with the top of his bottle. "You need to answer your phone."

You blinked in surprise and turned to the bartop to find your phone buzzing and Joshua's picture being displayed on the screen.

"Oh," you scrambled to get your phone and pressed on the green button. "Yes?"

"Baby? Where are you?" Joshua replied immediately. "I've been trying to reach you."

"I'm sorry, Josh, I... am at a bar," you frowned at your own wording, but tried to get it out as sober as possible.

"At a bar?" he inquired and you could almost see the bewildered expression on his face as his voice sounded. "By yourself?"

"I am wi-with Jeonghan," you rubbed your fingers on the bridge of your nose so hard your eyes watered. "I can send you the location so you can come join us."

"I thought tonight was just going to be me and you," he muttered but you could tell in his tone that he wasn't angry, just confused.

"And I thought that you had cleared your schedule for me," you bit back, however, anger flaring in your body, accelerating your heartbeat.

"I'm sorry, baby," he muttered, his voice dropping into a low rasp. "I thought it would be a short meeting but we got into contracting and planning and time just flew out of my hands."

You rolled your eyes, which were stinging with tears. "I'll send you the location, okay."

"Okay," he whispered.

And then you hung up.

"Is he coming?" Jeonghan called as he removed the pool rack gathering the balls.

"Yeah," you replied as you sent your location into the chat you shared with your boyfriend.

"Nice," he smiled briefly. "Come here, I'll teach you the rules."

You grabbed your cue pick and walked around the pool table where your best friend stood, hands busy holding his beer and pick. Jeonghan took a sip from his beer bottle, smacking his lips as he swallowed happily.

"Pay attention," he advised before starting to tell you the rules to playing pool.

It was a fairly simple game, though you couldn't help but feel your mind slipping away, from thoughts pertaining to your boyfriend, to the way that Jeonghan drank from the beer bottle, back to your boyfriend, to the way that Jeonghan grabbed the cue pick–

"Okay?" Jeonghan asked, his brown eyes roaming on your face, noticing without much effort that you had spaced out through the whole thing.

"Okay," you nodded with your head, cheeks blazing hot in utter shame.

"Okay, then," he decided with a nod of his head. "You do the break, princess."

Your breath hitched as you placed the cue pick awkwardly, avoiding Jeonghan's gaze but once you did look at him, he was biting his lip to avoid smiling at your clumsiness.

"Okay, another thing," he said, setting aside his cue pic and beer bottle and shuffling towards you. Jeonghan bent over beside you, his hands grabbing yours to set it on the pool table. "This is how you place your hand, see?" he turned his head to look at you.

You weren't looking at his hands on yours, however. You were completely absorbed by how close his body was to yours, how on edge the warmth of his body seemed to be putting you in.

"Yeah," you whispered when his eyes dropped to find your mouth.

"You need to keep it firm so your stroke doesn't waver," he explained, but the tone of his voice had dropped. "Understood?"

"Understood," you replied.

"And your arm back here will do all the work," he said, his hand coming up to touch your elbow. "I don't want you moving other parts of your body, got it?"

"I got it."

"Okay, now. Go," he stood up straight to go around the table on the opposite side to yours, coughing loudly as he always did to clear his throat.

"Ok," you whispered to yourself, your lip tucked behind your front teeth in concentration as you pulled your hand holding the cue pick back and motioned it forward with a thrust.

The stroke wasn't as half-bad as you had expected it to be. You stood back and watched the balls break their formation and roam on the pool table.

"Nice," Jeonghan praised with a nod of his head, tipping the beer bottle on his mouth briefly. "You got one ball in a pocket here," he pointed with his cue pick to one corner of the pool table.

"Oh, did I?" you perked up. "Which is it?"

"Solid. So I go for the stripes," he said, pulling his sleeves up, thus revealing his watch on one wrist, and on the other, something you immediately spotted as something familiar.

"Hey! That's my scrunchie!" you jumped and ran to the other side of the table to where he stood. "Give it back!"

Jeonghan raised his wrist in the air, stepping back. "It was in my car," he said with a low chuckle of his.

"It's mine!" you squealed, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Founders keepers, princess," he said in a mocking tone. "It's mine now."

"Jeonghan!" you jumped to reach his wrist, but he simply just stepped back.

"Back off," he muttered with a grin, and then he casted a look above your head. "Ah, Joshuji, you're here!"

Your breath caught in your throat and you twirled on your feet, Joshua walked through the rows of occupied tables, his frame obscured by the lack of lighting as opposed to the very bright lamp on top of the pool table you were standing by.

But upon seeing him, you couldn't help but feel your face being taken over by a big smile. You could tell that seeing you smiling at him had an effect on him, he replied with a smile on his own, leaning down to press his lips against yours. "Hi handsome," you mused.

"Hi beautiful," he replied warmly and turned to greet his best friend.

"We were just starting," Jeonghan said. "I'll go grab you a beer, hold on."

And without any preamble, he left straight to the bar, thus leaving you alone with your boyfriend. So you reluctantly moved your gaze to meet his, finding an apologetic expression on his face.

"Baby, I–,"

"How was your meeting?" you asked in a sweet tone, cutting off the sentence you knew he would say.

Joshua blinked. "Fine, it was fine," he frowned slightly. "We have a new manager."

"That's great!" you smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad. I'm also glad you're here."

"You're not mad at me?" he inquired, seemingly thrown off by your attitude.

You sighed in resignation. "I'm not mad," you decided. "I just want us to have some fun tonight, okay?"

"Okay," he replied, pressing his lips into a tight smile. "Thank you, baby."

"Don't mention it," you stood on your tiptoes to reach his lips, giving him a brief kiss.

Jeonghan came back, offering Joshua a new bottle of beer. “Thanks, man,” Joshua smiled at him and then turned to you. “I didn’t know you liked to play.”

“This is my first time,” you grinned. “Jeongjeong was just teaching me how to play.”

“Wanna team up with her?” Jeonghan asked Joshua, a devious smile appearing on his lips. “Price of entry is five.”

“What? That doesn’t make sense,” you interjected, acting scandalized. “If he’s with me we count as one person.” 

“Fair enough,” Jeonghan shrugged. “You should know Joshua is terrible at this, by the way.”

You turned to look at your boyfriend, who just rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him, baby,” he said, placing a hand on your lower back as he looked at the pool table. “What are you?” 

“Stripes,” you mumbled. 

“Solid,” Jeonghan corrected. 

Joshua giggled, tipping his head back. “Oh, baby. You should stop betting against this guy.”

“It’s fun,” you shrugged, watching Jeonghan lean down on the table, his eyes set on his game as he calculated the direction, pointing the cue stick with a firm hand on the green surface of the table. 

And with a hard thrust, the point of the cue stick hit the white ball, sending two stripe balls to the edge of the table, one falling into a pocket. 

“Nice,” Jeonghan hissed with a satisfied smile, looking at the ball that almost made it to a pocket, thus possibly securing an easy game. 

“My turn,” you mumbled with a sigh, feeling shy now that you were being watched by your boyfriend. 

You analyzed the balls spread around on the table for a second. 

“Remember, the striped ones are mine,” Jeonghan said with a slight amusement to his tone. 

“I know!” you replied. 

So you bent over the table, taking your time to be certain that your hand was placed correctly on the table and the other secured the cue stick with firmness before you thrusted your arm forth, sending the white ball towards your target ball. 

“Oof, close, princess!” Jeonghan watched and his body swayed to the side as he put one arm around his cue and hugged it.

“Umn,” you pouted and looked over your shoulder to find Joshua. He was leaning back against the bar top, looking over you with a small smile on his beautiful face. 

“Want help?” he offered, pushing his body off the bar top and stepping closely behind you. 

“Yeah,” you breathed out some of your embarrassment. “I’m terrible at this.” 

“You’re learning, baby,” he offered you a kind smile. “Nobody is good at this at first try.”

"I was," Jeonghan protested, bent over the table, and smashed the end of his cue against the white ball, pushing the ball that was already on the edge. 

"No, you weren't," Joshua bit back at him, shaking his head, a hint of annoyance in his tone. But his gaze softened when he found your face again. "You need to add more impulse to your stroke, moving your hip forward."

You nodded slowly before bending over on the pool table, gripping your cue firmly on one hand and setting the end on the other. Joshua's hands came to aid the position of your body, the touch on your body sent a shot of arousal through your body, as though a bolt of lightning.

 Joshua leaned over on your side, his body really close to yours, his hands shifting your body. "When you move the cue to hit, make sure you put some weight on this side," he said, his hand clenching your hip over your pretty dress and moving it forward slightly. "Keep your aiming arm firm and your elbow straight, okay?" 

"Okay," you whispered, looking at his rosy and puffy lips.

Joshua noticed immediately, the shadow of a smile twitching on his lips before pulling his body back. "Go."

You wished you could say what happened in that moment, but it definitely aroused something deeply taunting within you. Bending over the pool table, you felt two sets of eyes on you.

Jeonghan stood at the other end of the table, his eyes trained on you. And you suddenly realized that his eyes were not on the game. He was looking at you. 

Casting a look over your shoulder. Joshua was also looking at you, his ashy blond head tilted to one side, his dark beautiful eyes wandering over your body, stopping to read your face, understanding what he saw in your warm cheeks, in your flustered face. 

A slow, knowing smile stretched on his lips. "Eyes on the table," he muttered before the moment stretched any longer. 

The game ended a moment later with Jeonghan collecting your money, a sly grin as he said: "We should do this again sometime." 

Despite having lost against him, you nodded. "I'd like that." 

You had enjoyed some part of playing pool, that being the times where you actually hit the balls into pockets and not when you were being sorely and evidently distracted by your boyfriend's hands and lips. 

Joshua laced his fingers with yours as you walked back to the hotel room together. Jeonghan was drawing from his vape pen deeply, going on for what felt like half a minute and letting out the puffy flavored air in your face. 

"Jeonghan!" you pushed his shoulder, making him cackle. 

"Well, tonight was fun," Jeonghan said as he stepped out of the elevator on his floor. "Have a nice night."

"You too, Hannie," Joshua said, encircling his arms behind you to press your body flush to his front as the elevator doors closed and you were alone. 

"Josh…" you carefully called when he pressed his lips on your shoulder over your dress, moving up to kiss the crook of your neck, and then under your earlobe. 

"Mmn?" he muttered, tightening his grip around you.

You bit your lower lip hard as you considered how to word out your next question. 

"Do you…" you asked but then he planted an open kiss on the red hickey on the curve of your neck, making you jump slightly and blurt out: "Have you ever had a threesome?" 

Joshua paused his kisses, he removed his arms from around your waist and made you turn to him. "Why?" he asked, his brow furrowing in intrigue. 

"Answer the question." 

The elevator arrived to the floor and you were left with the question in the air as your boyfriend practically dragged you into the hotel room, swiftly closing the door behind you. Joshua Hong had you figured out when he turned to you, taking to steps so that he was looking at your face, reading your reaction as he said:

"What are you suggesting, baby?" 

"Nothing," you breathed but a tiny smile betrayed you. 

"Tell me," he insisted, his voice dropping to a gentle mumble.

"I… was just thinking that," you started, but you realized that you didn't plan your words this far. So in a string of fast stammers you blurted: "You know, you've told me that you would accept to do it if I wanted to do it and I want to. Do it."

Joshua smiled, it was a downturned smile. "Do you want to have a threesome, bunny?" he mumbled, raising a hand to brush the back of his fingers down your cheek. 

"Yeah," you whispered, shuddering slightly when his fingers tangled on your hair on the back of your hair. You felt the hard muscle of his chiseled chest as you rubbed your hands up and down his torso. 

"What made you want it so suddenly?" he mused, but he knew you. He got you figured out the minute you posed the question. "Bending over the pool table got you horny? You saw how we were looking at you and you liked it. Is that right, baby?"

"Mm-huh," you breathed as his lips grazed yours with a feathery kiss. "I-it got me thinking."

"Oh, you insatiable little thing," he said, sighing a smile. "Do you want me to ask Jeonghan? Do you want him in bed with us?"

The question was so brutally crude that it had your breath catching on your throat, quite loudly. "Yeah," you breathed. "I… want you both to take turns with me." 

"Mmnn," he hummed as he kissed your lips repeatedly and you wished you could see his face, to get in insight as to what he was pondering between kisses.

But he just bent down, lifting you from the ground with his strong arms holding your legs to prop you on the bathroom marble sink with a low squeal in surprise from your part. Joshua's hands cradled the back of your head, fingers tangling on your hair as he pulled on it, making you angle your head back and give him access to kiss your neck.

Joshua moaned when your hands roamed all over his body, circling his shoulders and then to his back, feeling over his shirt the lines between the muscles of his toned back until you reached the hem of his black denim jeans. A smile breaking on his lips as he pressed kisses on your face when you dipped your hands beneath his clothes to feel his round butt. 

"What else?" he muttered breathily on your neck. "What do you want, baby?" 

A moan coiled in your throat when his lips reached your throat, and you were almost amazed that your boyfriend appeared to be considering your crazy proposition.  "I want you to watch him fuck me," you blurted breathily. "I want you both inside me too."

Joshua sighed and you knew he was smiling on your neck. "Baby, are you serious?" he asked, pulling his head back to read your face.

There was a fascinated glint in his eyes, the small smile crowning his lips, Joshua was amused. "Yeah, I'm serious," you smiled with embarrassment. "I want this."

Your boyfriend considered your words for a brief moment, but to you it felt like forever. Your heartbeat strummed hard against your chest as he leaned over, pressing a kiss on your cheek. "Do you remember how to prep yourself, baby?" he asked, his voice barely above a mutter.

Your hands were still holding onto his shoulders, fists clenching on the fabric of his denim shirt when you understood what those words meant. "Yeah," you replied after swallowing hard.

Joshua pulled away from your neck, his lips traveling to your cheek, pressing tender kisses. "I'll talk to him, meanwhile you go get cleaned up," he said, breath fanning against your ear, making you shudder slightly.

"Okay," you nodded, turning your face to press your lips against his own.

Your boyfriend paused, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly as his big brown eyes scanned your face. "Are you nervous?" he asked, his voice still strained and you, when you nodded with your head, understood that he was nervous too.

"I am," you admitted with a small giggle that made Joshua show you a smile, crushing your heart over the beauty of his face. You encircled your arms around his neck. "But I want to do this."

"I know," he replied, the studded eyebrow twitching up. "Don't think I've forgotten about the filthy porn you wrote in your book."

Joshua's smile only widened when your laugh echoed on the tiled walls of the bathroom. "Shuddup," you gasped embarrassedly

"If it makes you feel better, I'm nervous too," he admitted, his gaze softening and the smile reducing into a mere small curve of his pretty lips.

"Why? You've done this before," you frowned in confusion.

His hand cupped your chin, looking at you with so much love in his eyes that you felt your heart quiver. "Yeah, but this is the first time it's with someone I love," he confessed, the weight of his words so heavy that his voice was merely a whisper.

"Do you want to do this, Joshua?" you asked, reading the features of his face to pick up any signs of reluctance. "If you don't want to do this, it's okay, baby. I won't mind."

"I do. I want to do this," he replied not a second later. "It's just that... this is new to me too."

You could've sworn that the love and adoration blooming in your heart showed in your face, his dark eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth twitched up slightly.

"What?" he asked.

"You're cute," you giggled, pressing your forehead against his. "And I love you so much."

The tiniest of groans left his mouth before you met his lips with yours. "I love you too, baby," he replied with a smile that you felt in your mouth. "So much."

With a brief open kiss, he peeled his body off of yours and turned to start the shower for you. He flashed you a smile and pressed his lips to yours before heading out of the bathroom, leaving you in privacy to get on with preparing yourself.

You threw a quick glance around as you came back to the bedroom, your body wrapped in a hotel bathrobe. You were deciding on what to wear as you heard the click to the door, your stomach dropped and you twisted to see that it was only Joshua coming in.

"You startled me," you breathed out with a sheepish smile as you watched him walk to you.

"Sorry, baby," he pressed his lips in a smile before grabbing you, wrapping an arm around your waist. "Jeonghan will be joining us shortly."

"Oh," you sighed, your body suddenly burning with anticipation.

"Are you ready?" he looked at your body, and smiled upon seeing the bathrobe. "I thought you'd be wearing something else."

"I just came out of the shower," you mumbled awkwardly. "I honestly don't know what to wear."

"Wear nothing," he showed you a downturned smile but when he saw your expression again he shrugged. "Wear something comfortable. I will."

Joshua turned away to get undressed himself, sending you meaningful glances when you discarded the bathrobe, the corners of his beautiful lips curving slightly as he watched you rummage in your bag for clean panties to wear.

"What did you tell him?" you inquired as you gathered what you wanted to wear for the occasion.

"Just that we wanted to have a threesome, and that I told you that he would be up for it," he replied, still looking at you with half-lidded eyes. "I'll text him when you're ready."

"I need to know how the conversation happened," you said with a shaky tone, and you smiled embarrassedly at your own jumpiness.

"I told him just that, baby," he chuckled, his eyes turning into half moons.

"Did you tell him about..." you looked upwards in embarrassment. "About what I want?"

"That," he started, sending you a look with a smirk. "Is something I'll leave to you."

"Josh!" you squealed, and he giggled sweetly. "I thought you would tell him!"

"I think that is something that you should tell him, baby. There's nothing wrong with voicing out your wants and needs," he said with the most natural air about him.

You groaned in frustration, only making him giggle again.

"Baby, Jeonghan and I have done this before," he explained with seriousness now. "You don't have to worry, he'll probably accept whatever you want us to do."

"Mmph," you stood there, clothes folded in your arms as you kept your thoughts to yourself.

"Ready, bunny?" he asked, driving you away from your train of thought. He had lost his black denim jeans and the shirt, now wearing a black tank top and gray shorts.

In his hand, you saw that he had brought out from his luggage two things, the training plugs that he got for you and a bottle of lube, you nodded.

"Yeah," you breathed out, placing your clothes at the foot of the bed. "How do you want me?" you asked, overly conscious of how lewd you sounded.

"Sit on the bed first," he instructed, biting his lower lip, a darkened gaze roaming all over you as you sat in front of him. A hand came to cup your chin, his long fingers grazing your jawline. "Come here," he whispered before he leaned down to kiss you, his wet lips capturing your own with a low grunt from him.

You raised your arms to encircle his neck, your fingers reaching his ashy blond hair as you kissed him back. "You're so hot," you whispered.

Joshua hummed in your lips, and you felt how the corners lifted in a smile. "Ditto," he said with a low grunt as he kissed you again. "So fucking hot, everyone had their eyes on you."

"Oh, don't lie," you chuckled.

"I'm serious," he mumbled, the tip of his tongue sliding on top of your lower lip. "That dress you wore tonight..."

"What about it?" you breathed as his lips continued to press on yours, his hands coming down to sink in the duvet, leaning forward so that you could lie down, his body hovering on top of yours.

"It was... you looked so hot in it," he replied almost aloofly, kissing your chin, then trailing down to your neck until he reached your breasts. "You sexy little thing, you don't know the effect you have on people. On me."

That made you laugh, the sweet sound making him raise his eyes to meet yours.

"It's just a dress," you mumbled meekly. "But I can wear it again some time, just for you."

Joshua smirked before leaning closer to wrap his lips around your nipple, teasing it with his tongue. "I'd love that, baby," he replied.

A moan coiled in your throat when he moved his mouth to tease your other nipple. It was short-lived though, sitting back on his knees, he patted you with his hand.

"Turn over, bunny," he instructed.

You rolled over, feeling the bed shift at your sides. You lifted your head to find him leaning over to prop a kiss in your shoulder blade, knowing how sensitive you were in that area.

"Remember how to do this?" he whispered, his lips trailing on the line of your back, making you squirm slightly.

"Ye-yeah I do," you stammered, fist clenching on the white duvet.

"Ass up, baby," he patted one of your buttcheeks with his hand and you immediately pushed yourself onto your knees, elbows flatly on the bed.

"Good girl."

You licked your lips before sinking your teeth down on your lower, focusing on relaxing. The noise behind you was distracting, turning your head to see what it was you saw him spreading lube on his fingers.

He sent you a look as he rubbed his fingers together briefly, setting the bottle aside to plant his hand on your lower back. The pads of his lubed fingers pushed on your hole, and you immediately turned your face on the duvet.

"You're okay?" he asked upon seeing your reaction.

"Keep going," you muttered, closing your eyes to focus on his fingers pushing on you, spreading them open ever so slightly, making you moan deliriously. It was kind of insane to you that you could get aroused with so little.

"So wet," he whispered, probably seeing your juices gathering in your pussy. His fingers spread a little more, causing your body to contort and a little more when the hard tip of the plug pushed in your hole. "How does it feel?"

"Alright," you replied, flinching dramatically when Joshua pushed the butt plug more, toying with it inside you.

He laughed breathily and patted you again. "That's my baby," he murmured. "Get ready, I'm telling Jeonghan to come over."

As you turned to fetch your panties, reality seemed to sink in: you were about to do something you haven't done before. And you were about to do it with your boyfriend and your best friend.

Joshua paced around the bedroom as he typed on his phone. You laid back on the pillows, deciding it was best to calm your jumpiness if you relaxed on the bed.

You had decided to wear one of his wide t-shirts, which was proving to be very comfortable pyjamas, and tried your best to calm your frantic heartbeat.

"He's here," Joshua said a moment later, walking over to open the door.

You sank down on the pillows, watching your boyfriend pace back to the bed, sitting down beside you to plan a kiss in your brow, probably seeing that you were still nervous about this.

Jeonghan walked into your view shortly after, hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie, almost as if he was carrying himself with a heaviness that only allowed him to move slowly, cautiously.

Oh, god. What do you say in situations like this? You wondered. What is Jeonghan thinking? Is he wondering, like you, how wildly your night changed for all of you?

"I'm here," he muttered, shrugging slightly.

Jeonghan was wary. You noticed that with a drop to your stomach. He was probably nervous about how your friendship would look like after this, just as you were.

So you sat on the bed slowly and crawled over to the foot of the king size bed, eyes set on the man that you had learned to confide in and trust. He was standing before the bed, frozen, mind reeling—you saw it in his eyes when you stood on your knees and his heavy gaze set on yours.

"Jeonghan," you called his name softly. "There's this... thing, a fantasy of sorts that I've been wanting to try out, and... there is no one else I'd rather try it out but you."

Confusion crossed his features ever so slightly, furrowing his brow, but his eyes never deterred from yours.

"Do you want to do this?" you mumbled to him. "You can walk away right now, and it'll be okay."

His lower lip parted a little and then his gaze shifted, eyes darkening. You got to know each other so well that you could see that he had his mind resolved in that moment. And it almost robbed the air out of your lungs to know with certainty—Yoon Jeonghan wanted you.

Jeonghan didn't ask for permission from the man behind you, and neither did you. A hand snaked to your waist, at the same time you pulled him by the collar of his hoodie, bringing him closer, his sweet eyes capturing yours, then your lips, then back to your eyes.

There was nothing to be said, just the exchange of glances before his lips touched yours. You held in a breath, tasting his in the process, just before his lips locked yours in the slowest, tenderest kiss.

His tongue caressed your lower lip slowly, pushing past it and played with your tongue briefly, your wet lips making a soft smacking sound when your friend pulled away.

In that moment, something clicked in your brain. Jeonghan had been burning to do this. He'd been burning to get a taste, a touch, to scratch the itch off his brain.

And you did too.

"Do you have a safeword, princess?" Jeonghan muttered in your mouth.

Your entire body became alight with anticipation and you breathed out your safeword.

"Before we do this," Jeonghan muttered, now sending a look to your boyfriend. "Is there anything I should know?"

You turned your gaze to Joshua, who was still lying in the same position. It made your stomach clench that he seemed almost unfazed, amused and... turned on.

"Like what?" Joshua asked, his studded eyebrow twitched. "We're both tested and clean, if that's what you're referring to."

His eyes locked on yours. "Is there anything off limits?"

You took a moment to breathe in, experiencing a very intense feeling of déjà vu. "Nothing is off limits, Jeonghan," you mumbled, using the hand still gripping his hoodie to bring him closer.

The last thing you saw was his half smile as you clashed your mouth against his, feeling his soft lips again, the warmth of his tongue on yours, making you moan in his mouth desperately needy. A burning wave rushed from your knees to your face, embarrassment coursing through you as you were now vulnerable at the eyes of your best friend.

But Jeonghan's hands slid beneath your oversized t-shirt and got to business without skipping a beat, almost as if he were in a rush or under time to get you under his touch.

With his thin fingers he caressed the line of your back, bundling up the t-shirt up to your armpits. You broke away from his lips to give him ample space to get rid of the oversized t-shirt, uncovering your bare breasts to his full view.

"Are you just gonna watch?"

Jeonghan blurted out the words without tearing his eyes from your body, much as if he were unable to, or as if he didn't want to look at your boyfriend.

"For now, yeah," Joshua emphasized.

"Why?" Jeonghan mumbled as his lips returned to your own, kissing you deeply this time. A hand came up to your side, tracing lines between your ribs with the pads of his fingers, making you squirm a little.

"I want princess to know what she's up for first," Joshua said with a slight tinge of amusement to his tone.

Jeonghan groaned when your hands slid under his hoodie, discovering that he wore nothing beneath it with a satisfied moan of your own.

Your fingers felt the muscles of his abdomen twitch upon your touch. And relishing at your discovery, your hands traveled from his tummy and up his chest, fingertips dancing on his soft skin.

His hands flew to seize your own and pulled back his head. "Umn, you're touchy," he grunted. "Tsk, we can't have that, princess."

You heard a soft sigh behind you. And you didn't need to look to know your boyfriend was smiling, probably enjoying the show of you discovering that your boyfriend's best friend is just as dominant as himself.

You tried to free your wrists from his grasp, but he didn't budge. Jeonghan bit his lower lip, a weak attempt to mask the smile that crept on his face.

"I want to see you, Hannie," you mumbled sheepishly. "It's only fair, right?"

Jeonghan pulled your hands out of his hoodie, shaking you a little when he used the control he had over you when he pulled you to his chest, planting a hard kiss on your mouth.

"Get on the table," he murmured in your mouth.

You gulped your nervousness down and nodded.

Climbing down from the high bed and walking over to the small table that served as a desk and turning to first sit your butt down and propped yourself up using your hands for support.

Now, you had a fuller view of the two men staring at you. Your eyes fell on Joshua first, he had moved to the armchair in one corner of the room beside the bed. Presumably to get a better view of what your best friend would do now.

"Baby, why don't you tell him about your fantasy?" he asked, noticing your eyes on him with a lazy smile at you.

"Lie down," Jeonghan commanded quietly, but waiting for you to start talking about the fantasy that has brought you this far.

You leaned back on the wooden table of the hotel room, only big enough to support half of your body so you instinctively pushed your knees back, planting the soles of your feet on it too.

A shudder crossed your spine when his lithe fingers tugged at the band of your panties and pulled them down your thighs. You extended your legs out for him to slide your panties down, tossing them to the floor.

"Move your legs up, baby," he said softly, grabbing you by the knees and pushing them up so the soles of your feet were flat against the desk, legs parted for him.

This way Jeonghan could have a view of your body. And you realized by then that he wanted you the farthest he could get you from Joshua.

"What's this fantasy about?" he inquired softly, as he continued to busy himself, propping down his arms at your sides, hovering over you as he leaned down to litter your skin with feathery kisses.

You ran a hand on his scalp, pulling his long dark hair back. "I want you to fuck me, Jeonghan," you stated boldly at your best friend. "I want you and Joshua to take turns with me, use me."

Jeonghan had the exact reaction you thought he would. At first he looked at you in complete bewilderment, his big brown eyes reading the honesty in the features of your face. And then, as you had expected, his eyes lit up dauntingly, smiling slightly at you.

"Is there anything in particular you want to do?" he asked, though you felt like whatever you asked of him, he'd do it but he would want to do so much more.

The truth is, you just wanted him. You wanted to feel him, to taste him, to hear him share this with you. Nothing more.

"Just do whatever you want to me, Jeongjeong," you mewled sweetly, your hand sliding from his nape and onto his cheek.

He appeared to be enjoying your touch for a second, before he grabbed your hand and placed it back on the table, his fingers encircling your wrist as he leaned down to drop kisses on your lips.

"Anything, baby?" he whispered as his lips littered your jawline, neck and collarbones with kisses.

You thought about it for a second, you thought about how comfortable he spilled that pet name for you in front of your boyfriend. "Of course. Whatever you want."

"Okay," he replied in a hollow tone, his mouth reaching your chest, his fingers moving from your wrist, pressing the palm of his hand against yours, slowly interlacing his fingers with yours as his mouth wrapped around one of your nipples.

"God, Hannie..." you instantly mewled, his tongue pressed on your pebbled nipple, moving back his lips, suckling the nub, humming along his teasing before he moved to your other breast.

His tongue pressed on the center of your boob, circling around your nipple, leaving a tingling trail of drool as he darted a look up at you.

"Th-that feels good," you muttered, using the hand that wasn't held by his own to caress his hair.

"Will you do anything I want?" he asked abruptly, throwing a glance at you, your eyes met and you found a fiery need upon them, making your stomach clench nervously.

"O-of course, Jeonghan," you replied, your voice quivering a little.

His pretty lips stretched in a sweet smile. "I knew you'd be a good girl."

Your whole body burned, limbs tingling in arousal and anticipation as you understood that your best friend was just as dominating in bed as your boyfriend.

"Do you think about me much, Jeonghan?" you ventured to ask, daring to bat your eyelashes at him.

"You have no idea," he whispered, the confession robbing him of voice it seemed, his eyes roaming on the features of your face, absorbing your reaction with the ghost of a smile.

The shudder that shook you had you blinking rapidly and uncontrollably for a second, it elicited the tiniest of groans from you, from the exhilaration, the fascination over this.

"What do you think about?" you asked, your voice sounded sweet, almost distant as he leaned down, pressing his lips on yours slowly.

"I thought of you," he breathed, you realized he was smiling then his lips pressed on yours again. "Of doing this, kissing you."

"Just kissing me, Hannie?" you pressed, feeling your heart almost leap out of your chest from how bold you sounded.

You wondered if Joshua was able to hear this, to hear the way your voice dropped, to hear you let out a mewling sound as Jeonghan's hand came up to grab your face by your jawline and move you slightly so that he could litter kisses on the underside of your jaw.

Jeonghan shook his head, "No," he mouthed, licking his lips thoughtfully and he backed off, just so he could take a view of your body on the small table.

His hand left your jaw, the pads of his fingers trailed down your collarbones, raking your skin between your breasts, making you squirm over the tingling sensation.

"You are so beautiful," Jeonghan said quietly, almost as if he didn't intend for you to hear.

The hand finally parked on the middle of your tummy, a fingertip slightly dipping in your belly button, sending a delirious shiver throughout your body. The expression on his face was of fascination, you assumed, from seeing you naked for the first time, from having his hands on you like this.

"Thank you, Hannie," you gave him a sheepish smile, aching to sneak a look to the corner of the room, where you knew you would find the man watching this whole exchange.

Jeonghan released the hand that he had laced with his to keep you from touching him. "Stay still, princess," he commanded, though his sweet voice made it seem like it was mere advice.

You sucked in a breath, immediately rendered immobile when the hand that was on your tummy moved further down, caressing your skin in the process of falling down between your parted thighs.

His eyes darted to yours when his pointer finger swiped a line from the top of your mound, then down between your pussy lips, slowly feeling your soft folds covered in your arousal already.

"Hannie..." you sighed when his middle finger joined, both fingers dipping in your entrance to get your wetness in his fingertips, his eyes locking on yours.

"Try not to move, baby," he responded when you winced quite dramatically on the table as his slick covered fingers found your clit, pressing it before starting to trace circles around it.

Jeonghan leaned over you, you tasted his breath before he kissed you again, his lips moving tenderly in between yours, the tip of his tongue sliding inside your mouth meeting your own.

The kiss was so gentle that you had to force the rapid beating of your body to focus on the prickling sensation on the skin surrounding your mouth, down to your neck. Reaching out instinctively, you felt his fluffy long hair.

But that made him stop, detaching his mouth from yours but not far enough, so you felt his lips move: "No touching, princess," he whispered.

"Would you like to tie me up?" you suggested, feeling brazen enough with your best friend.

"I won't need to," he said, the ghost of a smile appearing on his face. "Because you're a good girl, aren't you? You're going to do as I say."

The sound of his words sent you into a mad desire to prove him right. You nodded, swallowing hard as the movement of his fingers on your clit switched, pinching the already swollen bud, making you moan as the swirling of his fingers trapping your clit became faster.

Your arms fell languidly on the table at your sides, letting yourself close your eyes, sinking into sweet pleasure, his lips returned to your own, placing featherlight kisses on the bottom lip.

"There we go, baby. Relax," Jeonghan whispered. "Focus on what you're feeling. Focus on me."

At that his lips left yours and you didn't dare to open your eyes again. Instead you felt them again on the spot below your earlobe, his kiss featherlight, moving down your neck, leaving a trail of a tingling sensation that made you squirm.

"Do you like that?" he asked with his soft voice, his mouth so close to your neck that you could hear his breathing.

"Yes, Hannie," you replied with a tiny voice.

The tips of his fingers slid down from your clit, leaving it swollen and aching for more contact, but soon you moaned when his pointer and middle fingers slid inside you to his knuckles.

You squeezed your eyelids when he retreated his hand a bit, and you felt the drag of his knuckles inside your gummy walls to then slide his fingers back inside, repeating the same motion over and over, creating a squelching sound of your sopping cunt against the palm of his hand.

The sound of your breath catching in your throat made you feel even more embarrassed over the wet sounds coming from your pussy. But you still itched to grab his face, or to hold onto his shoulders.

So you did just that, not caring about trying to be good for him anymore. You needed to feel him. Slipping the palms of your hands on his shoulders, hating the fact that he was still completely dressed. As though his plan were to fuck you with his fingers and then just leave.

"Can I take this off for you?" you asked with a meek tone, knowing that you were stepping over one of his no touching rules.

He looked at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, but nodded with his head. "Go ahead," he whispered.

You eagerly grabbed the oversized hoodie by the sides, making him remove his hand from your pussy, helping you pull the piece of clothing over his head to reveal his creamy white skin.

And then, his movement was faster than you could even grasp, his hands were seizing your wrists, encircling them perfectly with his left hand and pulling them over your head on the table.

"No touching, princess."

You let out a sharp exhale. "But–," you started, but then you had to bite your tongue when you understood; he gave you a piece of his clothing for you to obey one of his commands.

"But...?" he mused, his eyebrows pushing up slightly.

"Nothing," you mumbled, relaxing your arms, framing your head on the table.

"Pull your knees up," he instructed, nodding his head at your legs as you drew your knees in, thighs open for him as he continued to fuck you with his fingers, deeper this time thanks to the new position you were in.

"Fuck," you blurted when you felt his fingers press on your front walls, exploring every inch of you with the pads of his fingers, his eyes trained on your face, capturing your reactions.

"You sound so pretty," he said entrancingly, getting lost in the faces and the sounds you made.

"Right there, Hannie," you mewled when his fingers curved inside you, pressing on a very sensitive spot in your front walls that had you seeing colors behind your eyelids.

You instinctively clenched your fingers into fists, unable to move under his grasp. Jeonghan chuckled softly when you writhed on the table.

"If I let your hands go, will you continue being good?" he asked and you blinked to find him inches away from your face.

"Yeah," you gulped, feeling obfuscated about the no touching rule, somehow being reminded of the familiarity that it carried.

His hand released your wrists, but it was quick to find your cheek to hold for him to press his lips against yours. "I want you to come on my fingers first," he said into your mouth.

The words elicited a violent shudder from you, angling your hips for his hand to fuck your cunt harder, being met with more kisses and a almost inaudible, "Good girl," from his end.

"Hannie..." you sighed, shutting your eyes when the thrusts of his fingers inside you gained force and speed, his fingers teasing that glorious spot he found after exploring your walls, the squelching sounds becoming louder. "Please, please, please."

You were reduced to mere lewd sounds, trembling on the table as the sweet pleasure inside you built up. Eyes shut so you only felt his hot mouth travel from yours and kiss the swell of your breasts, capturing one of your nipples, teasing it with his tongue as your moans only egged him on.

"Hannie," you called, hands clutching at the ends of the small table, unable to move anymore. "I'm there, god. Hannie..."

With a strangled sob, you sank into waves of pleasure, your orgasm flooded your body, sizzling under your skin and making you let out a whining moan. You felt your body be overpowered by soft spasms, your walls clamping around his fingers, as well as the plug in your hole.

"Fuck," you heard Jeonghan whisper as your walls squeeze his fingers tightly, but then he said in a louder tone: "Good girl."

You flinched slightly when his lips returned to yours, grazing softly before kissing you heatedly.

"Felt good, princess?"

"Yeah," you breathed out with a smirk. "I needed that."

The statement made you snap your eyes open, stomach twisting violently, leaving you cold on the table for a fraction of a second.

Jeonghan read you well, his head inclined to one side slightly. "Mmn, someone has been neglecting you a lot lately, isn't that right?"

You saw his lips move as he spoke those words openly, only worsening the chilling shudder.

You didn't dare to look at Joshua. You couldn't.

"Yes."

"Do you want me to give you more, baby?" Jeonghan asked, which in his tone sounded more like a soothing purr.

"Please?" you breathed shamefully.

Your eyelids fluttered with a shudder when he pulled his fingers out of your sopping pussy and without skipping a beat he took them into his mouth, licking your arousal off with a low grunt.

"Stay still," he whispered his next command, lowering himself onto his knees, his face at the perfect height to lean his mouth close to your inner thighs, propping kisses, not giving you much preamble before he pressed his tongue between your pussy lips.

"God!" you gasped.

A low chuckle made you turn your gaze to the corner of the room. There Joshua sat on the armchair, leaning his head on a fist as he watched you trying not to move, thighs wide open as his best friend ate you out.

Slowly, you propped yourself onto your elbows, keeping your eyes trained on your boyfriend, understanding on the features of his face that he was aroused by this but you wanted to know more, you wanted to taunt him, to elicit a bigger reaction from him.

Something about his lust-lidded eyes, the dark look he kept on you as he leaned his head on his fist, taking a deep breath which you recognized instantly as one of his methods to resist his own pleasure.

Running a hand on Jeonghan's head, threading your fingers through his fluffy dark hair to elicit a low grunt, sending a brief vibrating feeling between your pussy lips. You caressed his long hair as he sloppily ran his tongue across your folds, figuring you out, tasting you, exploring you fully.

The big and generous strokes of his tongue stopped, his eyes lifting to find yours as he moved his tongue, the pointed tip circling your clit slowly, watching your expression as your mouth parted and you let out a sharp breath.

"Hannie..." you mewled when the swirling of his tongue shifted into figure eight motions around your clit, gaining some speed as he kept his eyes on your face.

He groaned when your grip on his hair tightened in response to the pleasure blooming inside you again. No touching, he appeared to be telling you as his hand grabbed yours, removing it from his hair and lacing his fingers with yours, keeping your hand laced with his on top of your tummy.

"Fuck, Hannie, keep doing that please," you mumbled, sighing a moan at the same time you tried to keep yourself focused on the relentless motion of the pointed tip of his tongue.

Jeonghan released your hand when your thighs framing his head started to shake slightly, your moans increasing, sounding nearly sinful. You closed your eyes, feeling the touch of his hands exploring your body, caressing your skin, your tummy and your breasts, cupping them.

"Oh, Jeonghan..." you moaned, tipping your head back as a sweet wave of pleasure flooded inside your body, causing it to writhe slightly on the table.

But you felt his hands on your hips holding you down as you continued to call out his name, chest heaving with your sharp breaths.

Ignoring his rule again, you caressed his hair, brushing it back in an attempt to pull him back. But instead he just grounded his mouth in your pussy, simulating open kisses on your entrance, between your lips and on your clit.

"Jeonghan... sensitive," you flinched abruptly when his lips latched onto your clit, a series of loud smacking sounds coming from his mouth as he teased your engorged bud, releasing moans as he did so.

"Mm," he responded, looking at you again before detaching his mouth from your pussy.

You were embarrassingly breathless from coming so hard, legs trembling and you could feel the wetness dripping from between your legs onto the table.

"I... want—can I suck you off?" you asked, emboldened by the desire to make your boyfriend watch. But still, a tingling and warm rush of blood swarmed all over your face and neck.

Jeonghan rose from the floor, looking at you with an impassive expression on his face. Almost as if he didn't know what to do next, or if he wanted to do many things at once but couldn't decide.

He grabbed you by your hands, helping you sit up on the table to then plant a hard kiss on your lips, making you get a taste of yourself on his tongue when it swept inside your mouth.

"Get on your knees, princess," he instructed with a light tone, running the back of his fingers on your cheek.

Jeonghan turned away as you lowered yourself from the table, watching him get rid of the rest of his clothes in a near methodical way. Straight to the point, not putting on a show, or letting you have your fun by undressing him.

So you kept watching him as he threw his clothes to one side with little care as to where they landed, discarding his shorts, and underwear, until he was completely naked and in front of you. The only two things he carried on his body now were on his wrists: your scrunchie and his watch. 

"I want you here," he pointed to a spot in front of the bed, straight across from where Joshua was sitting.

You swallowed hard before sinking down onto your knees on the cold marble floor. Waiting, your eyes rose and fell on his tall frame, his nakedness. His milky white skin, his strong thighs, there was a beauty on how unapologetically he was displaying his body to you.

"You're beautiful," you whispered abruptly, having your heart crushed over how the words flew out of your mouth.

Jeonghan was shy whenever someone complimented him, but now he just seemed to be amused, as if he enjoyed being showered with your praise.

"Give me your hand," he offered you his palms before you could come out of your daze and placed your hands on his so he could indicate where you could touch him.

He then took your hand and placed them on his hip. "Leave it here. You can tap me if you want to stop, got it?"

You nodded, looking up at him and when your eyes met with his, you felt a deep sense of nervousness. It had been a while since you felt this during sex, and you realized with a flashing pain crossing your chest, that beyond the lust and desire for him, you felt something else.

His hand caressed your cheek before running his fingers through your hair. "Go ahead, princess. I'm yours," he muttered, and you noticed in the slight quiver in his tone that he was nervous and eager too.

You darted a look sideways, finding Joshua in the same position, much as if time had stopped for him the minute you and Jeonghan kissed. He bore the same look of lust in his eyes, the same dark determined look he wore whenever he was on a mission.

You ran your tongue between your lips once, driving all of your attention to the man standing before you now. He gave you a confident look, silently telling you that you were doing well and in that moment, it was all you needed.

Tentatively, your fingers trailed a line from his lower abdomen, a soft smile drawing on your face when you realized that he was hairy when your fingertip raked between the soft pubic hair.

"Don't tease me like this, princess," Jeonghan giggled after your fingers caused him to flinch slightly.

"Sorry," you breathed. But your fingers encircled around his long and pretty cock. It was so hard that you didn't need to stroke it beforehand, the pink tip already dripping with precum.

You pressed your lips on the underside of his cock, making a trail of feathery and wet kisses until you reached his tip, licking your lips to taste his precum with a hum. "You have a pretty cock," you muttered softly, almost sounding dazedly.

Jeonghan smiled, the sound making you break out of your trance. The hand cradling your hair moved, his thumb caressing one of your temples.

Holding his gaze, you opened your mouth and took his cockhead in, licking him first as you would a lolly, the tip first. Jeonghan's hand came to join the other, gathering your hair gently, his fingertips grazing on your scalp briefly.

You felt a rush of adrenaline and arousal as you watched Jeonghan's face relax, his mouth going slack as you slowly took his cock in your mouth, sucking his head eagerly now, trying to get more reactions from him.

"Oh," he uttered ever so gently, his voice dropping to a rasp.

You tried to explore him to the best of your capacity, tongue swirling around the pink head of his cock every time you moved your mouth back on him, taking him deeper when you pushed his cock until your lips reached your fist still placed by his hilt.

"God," you heard him gasp, his fingers clenching around the strands of your hair.

A shudder coursed through your body, making you raise your eyes to find his face riddled with pleasure, he threw his head back and now you could see his pretty neck, his throat moving as he moaned in pleasure.

The sound made your core flutter, it sounded so raw and sweet that you were instantly fascinated by it, eliciting a mewling sound from you. Hollowing your cheeks out as you moved your head back, to suck on his cock pressing your tongue around the head before going forward again, repeating the movement, faster.

"Stop, stop," he whispered, his hand slipping from your hair and grabbing your chin. "I'm close, princess."

You took a big gulp of air when Jeonghan pulled out of your mouth, drool dripping down your lower lip. "I want to keep going," you mumbled.

"Sure, baby?" he asked, the lines between his eyebrows showing ever so slightly.

"I'm sure," you nodded, leaning close to him so you could take him into your mouth again, darting a look to his face and then to his cock in front of you. "Use my mouth, please. I want you to fuck my mouth, Jeonghan."

The satisfying feeling you got from his eyes widening slightly at your words was something you were quickly growing an obsession with.

Before he could nod with his head, his eyes scanned your face swiftly. "Okay," he mouthed, his hands reuniting with your head, gathering your hair between his fingers.

Your mouth fell open for him, eyes trained on his face.

"Hands on me, baby," he rasped, a hand grabbing his cock as he guided it inside your parted lips, pushing it with his hips slowly as your fingers dug on the skin of his hips.

You inhaled deeply through your nose, eyelids fluttering uncontrollably as his long cock slid on your tongue, reaching the back of your mouth tentatively, thrusting slowly inside you before picking up a calculated pace.

There was something about holding his gaze as he pushed his cock inside your mouth, and you could see that it had the same effect on him as it did to yourself. It was near maddening, a frenzied rush coursed through your body, resolving you to keep yourself focused on him.

"Fuck, you're good at this," he muttered with a strain on his voice as he thrusted deep inside you, making you gag as you relaxed your throat for him to fuck, making him moan deliriously. "So fucking good," he whispered.

Your core throbbed at the sound of his words, you would've moaned if you weren't intent on deepthroating him without gagging. But tears were starting to gather on the corners of your eyes, your mouth had relaxed so much for him that you couldn't control the drool dripping onto your chin.

"God," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut, shuddering with another delicious moan that rasped on his throat. "Baby, you feel so good."

Your hands encircled his hips, caressing his skin on the process keeping your teary eyes fixed on his face.

"I'm gonna come in your mouth," he gasped, opening his eyes to find your face.

You blinked slowly at him, as if saying "Please do," a thing you learned from your boyfriend on occasions like this.

"Fuck," he whispered shakily, the thrusting of his hips faltering slightly before he pushed deep into your mouth, throwing his head back as ropes of cum spurted from his cock and onto your throat.

Jeonghan moaned, a sound coming one after the other; breathless, raspy until you stopped swallowing his cum, breathing deeply through your nose, determined to look at his face as he came in your mouth.

His face was riddled in pure pleasure, his closed eyelids trembling slightly as he kept his mouth parted, breathing heavily as his hands relaxed on your hair, blindly searching your face to caress your cheeks.

"Fuck," he muttered to the ceiling, but this time it was different.

Jeonghan moved his head forward to find your face with his eyes, his hand cupping your cheek grazed your skin, his thumbs gathering the tears left in your cheekbones.

"Get up," he said, gently pulling out from your mouth and his hands grabbed yours to help you onto your feet. "Are you okay?" he asked once you were face to face with him.

"Mm-mmph," you cooed, nodding with your head in affirmation.

"Okay," he whispered, leaning closer to kiss your lips, slowly locking them with yours, rolling his tongue inside your mouth, moaning gutturally as he got a taste of himself in your tongue.

"Jeonghan..." you whispered.

He grabbed you by the waist as he sat down on the bed, bringing your body with him. Staggering slightly, you pressed one knee at his side, then the other.

"Ride me," Jeonghan muttered suddenly, almost as if in a hurry. His hands came up to cup your jaw lightly. "Come on, baby, sit on me," he whispered in your lips, urging you to move.

You nodded eagerly and pushed his body back on the bed, mouth watering again when you noticed that his cock had grown hard again and you sent him a look.

He must have read the pure awe in your eyes, because he nodded and swallowed hard. "Need to feel you, princess," he mumbled, his hands sliding on your hips, guiding you on top of his body as you moved on the bed to straddle him.

You took his pretty cock in your hand, rolling it over to spread the traces of your saliva and his precum along his shaft. Then, you angled it to your core, his eyes shifting from his cock about to slip inside you and back at your eyes, where they decided to stay as you slowly sat on his cock.

Jeonghan sucked in a breath and his hands gripped your hips tighter. "Don't," he stopped you just as you were going to look at the corner of the room. "Don't look at him. Look at me."

You nodded again in silence and bottomed out on him, your hands anchoring on the sides of his shoulders as you started rolling your hips on him, feeling every inch of his cock slowly. You let out a muffled moan, when you saw Jeonghan's expression change, his eyebrows knitted slightly and his mouth parted.

"Fuck," he groaned, sending his gaze to the ceiling. "Fuck. You're... a dream, princess. That's it, ride me, baby."

You had started to take a little speed, the sway of your hips gaining more control on his cock, bouncing on him to get closer to what your body desperately wanted. You wanted to come, to make him come, to watch him come undone under you.

"Jeonghan..." you breathed, feeling hot in the face because you could feel your boyfriend's eyes on you. "Am I doing it right?"

"Don't stop," he grunted, sucking in a breath through his pink lips, and shut his eyes for a moment.

Joshua had spread his legs, rubbing a hand over his clothed cock. His eyes were on you, just like you had wished for. A hot wave of shame and lust ran from your face to your cunt when you saw how hard your boyfriend was just from seeing you fuck someone else.

A slap came down your thigh, hard. "Fuck!" you yelped, hips stuttering sloppily.

"I told you not to look at him, princess," he tutted.

"'m sorry," you mumbled shamefully.

"Sorry won't cut it," he growled: "Faster."

You trapped your lower lip between your teeth, your hands finding his shoulders to anchor yourself on as you started rolling your hips faster on him. You moaned uncontrollably when you felt his cock hit in your walls deliciously each time you sank back in.

You kept that pace, that motion of your hips because you could feel the sweet pleasure building inside you, taking you closer to your release and the realization of cumming like this hit you, because you've never made yourself come like this, not even with Joshua.

"Je-jeonghan," you stammered, breathless, whimpering. "Fuck, fuck, oh god..."

You screwed your eyes shut, not allowing your body to grow tired and your hips buckled a little before you sank back on his cock, forcefully, letting out a cry as the tension in your body snapped, making you come hard on top of him.

"Jeonghan!" you gasped, opening your eyes to find his. His mouth had parted and his hands were kneading at your thighs, as if trying with all his might not to come with you.

"Look at you," Jeonghan cooed with a sigh, the fascination in his voice and written in his eyes was undeniable now. "Oh, princess, you're making a mess on me."

"Mmn?" you looked down where your bodies connected, without stopping swaying your hips on him. The base of his cock glistened wet with your arousal, his skin and pubic hair had a faint string of your cream smeared all over.

"You're doing great, baby," Jeonghan said softly, his fingers pinching your chin. "Didn't think you'd be this filthy. But it was expected of you, right?"

"'m not filthy," you slurred out, bouncing sloppily to keep your eyes on the mess you made. It was strangely alluring.

Jeonghan smiled, the sigh coming from him made you tear your eyes from the base of his cock and look at his face. "Are you sure, baby?Only a filthy girl can get herself off from this."

Your walls fluttered around his cock from hearing him talk down to you like that, you gave him a slow nod.

And then, without thinking, you looked at Joshua. He had lost his briefs, his head leaned back against the headrest, you saw his throat bob slightly, his darkened eyes set on you as his fist pumped his cock slowly.

Your whole body burned in response, drawing out a whiny moan and your brows knitted uncontrollably. A firm slap landed on your thigh, making you shut your eyes and cry out.

"Fuck, fuck! I'm sorry," you mumbled. "Sorry."

"You're being stubborn," he rasped, reaching out with one hand to grab your neck and pulling you closer so you brushed against his chest with your tits. "I never told you to stop."

"Sorry," you whispered nervously, your face so close to his that you felt his breath on your lips.

You moved your hips again, sinking on his cock sloppily.

"D'you like this, princess?" he whispered, looking at your eyes, then your lips. "Do you like that your boyfriend just watched you come on my cock, not his?"

"Yeah," you croaked. "I want more."

A corner of his mouth curled up, his hands came down from your neck to grip your ass and he stopped you completely, his cock slipping out of your sopping walls.

"Wh-what did–,"

"Get on all fours," Jeonghan instructed before kissing you chastely.

You stilled, searching his eyes impatiently. But he looked back at you, lust blown eyes, his mouth sporting a devilish grin.

"Go on," he urged, patting your thigh with his hand.

You planted your hands on his chest to help yourself onto your knees, and crawled to the middle of the large bed, getting on all fours for him as he followed behind you.

"God, you have the prettiest ass," you heard him say as a hand caressed your butt. "Should we make it prettier, princess?" he mused.

"Uh?" you uttered confusedly.

Then his fingers toyed with the plug inside you, and you instantly moaned. "Do you think you're ready for the bigger one?" Jeonghan asked and then you saw from the corner of your eye, his hand reaching out for the bottle of lube.

"Ye-yeah, I'm ready," you stammered shamefully, you threw a look in front you, finding your boyfriend watching you intently, making you drop your gaze to the duvet swiftly.

"Mmn," he hummed as his fingers plucked the plug out. "Breathe in, princess," he directed gently as you heard the spurts coming from the bottle of lube, then you felt the cold liquid on the pads of his fingers as he spread your hole open for the next plug.

"Breathe out," he muttered.

"Oh," you blinked rapidly as you felt the longer plug inside you, penetrating you even deeper than the first one.

"Okay?" Jeonghan asked, a hand caressing your lower back, waiting for your response.

"Okay," you replied.

Moving your body back, you sneaked a look to Joshua again as you crawled on the bed to then feel Jeonghan's hands yank you from your hips, forcing you to face your boyfriend, ass angled to his best friend.

"You'll get what you want," Jeonghan cooed, his hand sliding on your lower back, then you felt his cockhead gliding up and down your folds. "One spank if you close your eyes or look away from him."

Joshua nodded, making clear his participation in the punishment. Without tearing his eyes from your face he kept stroking his cock, the lower lip trapped behind his teeth smirked slightly when Jeonghan sheathed his cock inside your walls again, eliciting a raw moan from you.

Jeonghan immediately started pushing his hips so hard you could feel his hip bones meet your ass, the slap beginning to sting a little as he quite literally pounded on you, his cock hitting a glorious spot repeatedly, drawing pathetic moans out of you.

You realized that you had never seen Joshua touch himself like this. He blinked slowly at you, suppressing a small shudder, the muscles of his jaw twitching as he gritted his teeth. You knew him well enough to know that he was trying hard not to come, and you nearly smiled at that.

But you couldn't deny that you felt a deep shame washing over your face from being fucked hard by someone else while your boyfriend simply watched. Watched your body bouncing as Jeonghan's hips jackhammered into you, not slowing down or shifting position, just fucking into your glorious spot relentlessly, releasing small grunts every time you moaned.

Joshua looked at your face the whole time, probably noticing the shame painted in your hot cheeks. The small smile crowning his lips told you that much.

You couldn't. You had to look away from him.

"Spank."

Your heart skipped a beat just as Jeonghan delivered a firm spank in your buttcheek. "Fuck," you squeezed your eyes shut and blinked repeatedly, tears gathering in your eyes.

"Fuck!" Jeonghan also gasped when your walls squeezed around him. "You like being spanked, princess?"

Joshua smiled cruelly.

Jeonghan's hands grabbed your hips forcefully before changing the pace in his thrusts, plowing on you, angling his cock so that you felt him hitting you deeper.

"Sorry princess, what was that?" he grunted, a half gasp that could almost resemble a laugh.

You could only moan in response when you saw your boyfriend's cock glistening in precum, just as his hand rolled over the rosy brown cockhead to smear his own slick all over. Joshua muffled a low raspy groan, blinking slowly at you, unable to look away from your fucked out form.

"Are you fucked stupid, baby?" Jeonghan asked after you gave him no actual response.

"Spank," Joshua muttered again, his voice low and raspy.

"But I didn't look away," you whimpered in protest just as you received another firm slap in your already tingling buttcheek. "Gah, fuck, Hannie–"

"Fuck, princess," Jeonghan moaned deliriously, oblivious to your protest. "If you keep squeezing me like that, I might not last long."

"Hannie, please, I didn't–," you started to plead and got from the glint in your boyfriend's eyes that this is exactly what he wanted.

Joshua wanted to hear you beg, he wanted to see you being punished.

"Spank," Joshua's merciless smile crowned his red lips and his head tipped back as he pumped his cock faster. His thighs tensed and you saw him swallow thickly, he was close, but kept resisting his climax.

"Fuck!" you yelped when Jeonghan's hand came down on your buttcheek, your walls fluttering around him, and your arms nearly give out from the flashing pain.

Jeonghan groaned, a low sound coming from him, something you didn't think you would hear from him. "Fuck, I'm close princess," he sighed, words caught in a slurry mess: "Want me to pull out?"

You were close too, you were growing a bit sore from the relentless pounding, the tip of his cock abusing the sensitive spot inside your walls to the point you knew you were about to wet yourself soon if he just kept going.

Your eyes were brimming with tears, but you kept them fixed on your boyfriend's eyes, on the movement of his hand. It was then that you realized that he was matching the speed of his hand to the thrusts plowing on you.

"Baby, answer him," Joshua urged, his pierced eyebrow twitched slightly.

"No, please!" you gasped. "P-please come inside me," you made a motion to turn to look over your shoulder.

"Spank," your boyfriend's voice betrayed you again with a sigh which resembled a faint laugh.

This spank was firmer than the others before it. You squeezed your eyes shut, the pain sizzling beneath your skin and you saw red, your cunt squeezing around him and you knew you were so close to your own release.

"Fuck-k," you heard Jeonghan breathe out, and then. "Cumming," he muttered before the pace of his thrusts slowed down, fucking you sloppily as he emptied himself inside you with a raspy moan.

Joshua was grinning, the tip of his tongue ran over his lower lip before sinking his teeth, his head tilted back, looking at you with lascivious eyes before spurts of cum landed on the back of his hand, on his lower abdomen and chest. Your boyfriend let out a long groan that joined with your moans.

Both men were breathing slowly and ragged, Jeonghan's hands remained on your hips, keeping you steady as you trembled uncontrollably on the bed.

"Clean him off, princess," Jeonghan instructed, patting you in your butt gently, egging you to do it quickly.

You turned to look at him over your shoulder, a question written in your eyes.

Jeonghan was covered in a sheen film of sweat, from his forehead to his collarbones. His dark bangs sticking on his forehead as he breathed hard from the exhaustion, his tongue hanging on his lower lip languidly.

"Come here, bunny," Joshua called, and you turned to him, sitting in the armchair still, just at arm's length from you.

You whimpered slightly when Jeonghan pulled out of your walls, but you crawled to the edge of the bed towards your boyfriend, who cupped your cheek with his clean hand as soon as you were near enough for him to touch you.

"You're being so good, baby," he muttered, his thumb brushing your lower lip just before you bent your head and licked the cum off the back of his hand that was resting on top of his crotch.

Joshua's mouth parted and he lifted his fingers for you to suck on, licking them clean. His eyebrow twitched slightly when you moved your mouth to his lower abdomen. Running your tongue on his skin, you licked to the last bead of his cum.

"Good girl," Jeonghan muttered behind you.

"Mmn, but baby you're making a mess," Joshua said in a honeyed purr, making you turn to see your thigh.

Joshua's hand came down to your thigh, his fingers stopping the cum trailing down, picking it up and inserting it back to your fluttering cunt.

"Can't let it go to waste, huh?" your boyfriend smiled when you moaned as his fingers teased your slit, pushing the cum dripping out of you.

"Babe, I–," you started pleading when he pulled his fingers out of you, you needed to come.

But he stuck his fingers in your mouth quite abruptly, you tasted Jeonghan's cum, mixed with your own arousal. "Mmn, I think princess wants more," Joshua purred, a fascinated look in his dark eyes. "You were close, right baby? He didn't let you cum again."

You shook your head in affirmation, trying your best to give him an innocent look. "Mm-mmn," you hummed, making him grin at you.

You heard a sharp exhale behind you and felt the bed shifted under you. "Princess, you came three times already," you heard Jeonghan say. "What more can you take?"

Joshua's pierced eyebrow quirked up slightly. "Shall we test that, baby?"

His thumb brushed your lower lip as he pulled it out of your mouth softly, his grin widening when you nodded with your head eagerly.

"How are you?" your boyfriend asked, his tone dropping slightly as his eyes surveyed your face. "Are you okay?"

You nodded with your head once, lifting your eyes to meet his. "I want you now, Joshua," you mewled with a breathy tone.

Joshua looked at you briefly before a smirk crowned his beautiful lips. "Come here," he pointed at the spot in front of him, so you climbed down from the bed just as he rose from the armchair.

You followed his face with your eyes as he was now looking down to meet your gaze.

"Are you ready, baby?" he asked, reading your face with his big brown eyes.

You nodded, and then added with more certainty. "I am."

Then he instructed you to place both knees right at the edge of the bed, ass up and pointed at him. On all fours, you were looking directly at Jeonghan, lying in the pillows, blinking slowly as if he were drifting still.

His post-sex gaze found you, making your stomach clench as you noticed something else in his eyes too.

"Mmn baby, you're all red," Joshua murmured sweetly but mockingly, rubbing the sore areas of your ass with his hands. "Jeonghan doesn't know how much you enjoy being pampered."

"Mm-mmph," you hummed, shuddering under the softness of the caress, your boyfriend was now exhibiting how well he knew you, and how blind Jeonghan was to your preferences.

"Are you enjoying this, baby?" Joshua asked as his fingers toyed with the plug lodged in your ass. "Do you like that Hannie is getting to know how needy you really are?"

"Yeah, I do, Josh," you replied, voice dropping to a whimper the plug was slowly plucked out of you.

Jeonghan smiled, his teeth sliding on top of his lower lip as he watched you subdue yourself to your boyfriend.

"But Hannie probably knew already," Joshua muttered. "He also got to read the filthy things you write, right?"

Jeonghan nodded, his eyes wandered from you to your boyfriend behind you.

"Bunny, you're dripping," Joshua sighed, the pads of his fingers gingerly traveling from your clit, picking the slick and cum dripping down from your hole and pushing it back up. "My baby is so messy."

You sighed a moan when his fingers dipped in your fluttering core, feeling your boyfriend's touch, familiar instead of explorative, made you even more aroused.

"So he probably knows that you want both of us," Joshua continued with his musings, but this made you frown slightly, your heart twisting in your chest.

You turned your head to find your boyfriend, he cocked his blond head to one side, reading your expresion.

"Isn't that right, bunny?" he inquired, the corner of his mouth stretching in a grin. "You want us inside you at the same time."

"Ye-yeah, that's what I want, Josh," you stammered dumbly.

"I'd assumed as much," Jeonghan admitted, when you looked back at him you swore you saw the same wolfish grin on his face as your boyfriend's.

"You're gonna be good for us, baby?" Joshua purred as his lubed fingers prodded on your hole gingerly at first, stretching it more.

"Yeah," you whined, closing your eyes to savor the feeling.

"Breathe, baby," your boyfriend reminded you, spreading his fingers, keeping you open for him.

You inhaled through your nose, moaning as you exhaled.

But you needed to see your boyfriend standing behind you, you understood from the movement of his right arm that he was stroking himself, lubing his cock for you. The dark and lustful gaze he kept on you made your body burn with anticipation, making you angle your ass for him.

"Good girl," Joshua breathed before pressing the tip of his cock on your hole, his eyes shifting from your ass to your face, his eyebrows knitting at the same time you did.

"Josh... mn," you mewled, looking his mouth fall open as he eased himself inside you, ever so slowly and carefully.

"Alright?" he breathed, unable to bring his tone any louder.

You gave him rapid nods with your head. "Yes, yes," you mumbled.

His eyes remained on the features of your face for a second before shifting them to his fingers spreading you open for him, a hand reached out to pump more lube onto his palm. A low hiss escaped between his teeth as he coated the remaining half of his cock to ease himself inside you, thrusting shallowly.

It was hard to breathe, you couldn't move. You focused all of your energy to remain lax for him as he eased the first half of his cock inside your tight hole.

But everything inside you became alight with sweet pleasure. You dropped your head forward, enjoying the feeling coursing beneath your skin, keeping your lower lip trapped between your teeth, but muffled mewling sounds resounded in your throat.

You sneaked a look at the man in front of you. Jeonghan was lying on his side, elbow propped on the pillows as he looked at you and your boyfriend. His heavy lidded eyes kept switching between Joshua's face and then to yours, a hand idly stroking his cock.

"Baby," he muttered, a strain to his voice, and when you turned you saw it showing on his clenched jaws as he tilted his head back, moving his hips at a slow pace. "Are you okay? Can I give you more?"

"Yes, I'm okay," you replied, a hot wave washing over your face. "I want more."

"Okay," he sighed deeply, his hands now palming your ass as he thrusted his hips forward, easing another inch inside you.

"Oh god," you shut your eyes. "Please, move, Josh..."

"I don't want to hurt you," he replied in a breathless tone. "I need you to relax, baby. Can you do that for me?"

You nodded, focusing on what your body felt, crying out, welcoming the pleasure, the slow and shallow thrusts of Joshua's hips, his cock pushing in and out of you, making him moan.

You knew your boyfriend could hang. He came once already so it would probably take him more time to come again. But something in the way that he was moaning let you know that it might be different this time.

"Fuck, so tight," he sighed in pleasure, his hands palming your ass, caressing your skin as if to soothe your moans. "Talk to me, baby."

"Don't stop. Please, Joshua," you replied instantly, your fingers clenching on the bed covers, holding on tightly.

"Do you think you're ready for Jeonghan?" he asked with a slight urgency to his tone.

"Yeah," you breathed out, looking at your best friend and then your boyfriend behind you. "I'm ready."

"Okay," he gasped, the features of his face riddled with pleasure, but he came to a stop once he heard you. Joshua raised a hand and motioned you over to his chest. "Move back, baby. Slowly."

You simply did what he instructed, and wordlessly, Jeonghan moved across the bed, standing next to Joshua now. His hands shifted positions, gripping your hips as you stood back on your knees as he said, so your back pressed against his chest.

The two men exchanged a glance before Joshua moved your body from the bed, Jeonghan's hands sliding on your thighs to help your boyfriend support your body from the front.

"You're okay, baby?" Joshua asked when he heard you let out a small cry.

"Yeah," you replied quickly, now looking at Jeonghan as you used your hands to hold onto his lean shoulders. "Please, more, please."

Joshua kept your thighs angled for the man in front of you, just as he took a hand between his body and yours, grabbing his hard cock to guide it to your cunt, his eyes finding yours as he started to sheathe himself inside your cunt in one go.

Your eyes rolled back, squeezing your eyelids tightly as your head slumped back onto Joshua's shoulder. "F-fuck," you gasped, as Jeonghan eased himself to the hilt, making you fuller than ever.

"Baby," Joshua urged, breathing hot against your neck.

"Move, please, Josh," you cried out, the corners of your eyes spilling some tears.

Without wasting a single second, you felt the two men move in a slow sway, appearing to share one mind again because there were no words exchanged, nothing you could make out before they began a push and pull with your body.

"God," you breathed out, seeing stars behind your closed eyelids. "Josh..."

"You're good, baby," he replied, his voice muffling as he pressed his lips on the crook of your sweaty neck. "You're perfect."

As the two men moved inside you, the rest of your body supported by Joshua's strong arms on your thighs, Jeonghan helping him through as he moved in with shallow thrusts.

You blinked, leaning your head forward, the tip of your nose bumping sloppily against Jeonghan's. You kissed him slowly, eliciting a raw moan from the man, but he reciprocated the kiss, breathing in your mouth when you backed away.

Then you turned your head to your side, Joshua reached for your lips with his own, meeting in a feathery kiss. "Mmn," you hummed into his mouth before leaning your head back onto his shoulder once again. "So full," you whispered in pure bliss, dissolving into a puddle of pleasure.

"I know, baby, I know," Jeonghan mumbled, his voice too, sounding tense.

"So good for us," Joshua whispered, kissing your shoulder.

"Mm-huh," you hummed entrancingly, but your mind had already gone completely blank as you were reduced to breathy moans, tears spilling from your closed eyes, unable to string up thoughts.

Lips kissed your neck, your shoulder, while another set of lips kissed your cheeks, your tears and even your own lips. But slowly you lost awareness of who was who anymore, not even if you would recognize Joshua's lips anywhere, you couldn't do it.

The sway of both men pushing inside you never changed, it never paused, you heard tired gasps and raw moans as they used your body, filling you up to the brim.

Your moans were becoming increasingly louder every time, and whinier. You had never sounded like this, never felt like this before. So full, and taken over by pleasure that there was nothing you could say. You saw lights and colors behind your eyelids and tasted your climax in your mouth, pleasure blooming inside you in fiery waves, taking over you completely. 

"I think she's close."

"Are you gonna cum for us, baby?"

"Yeah," you breathed.

"Come, bunny, come for us."

"Oh god," you whimpered before coming undone without any warning, crying out blissfully, your body being overtaken by relentless tremors. Your hands held onto his shoulders, nails digging into skin.

"Fuck," you heard one of the men gasp in response.

The orgasm was so brutal that you felt like collapsing, you felt it everywhere, flooding you from inside, coursing through your whole body, you even felt it on your face, between the tears rolling down your cheeks.

The room was filled with your raw cries of pleasure, and low moans and gasps from the men holding your spasming body while you clenched around them, triggering their own orgasms, stuffing you up with their cum. One had propped his forehead on one of your shoulders, while the other was breathing hard on the curve of your neck, while grazing your skin with his lips.

"Fuck, baby," one gasped languidly, fingers digging on the plush of your thighs.

Both men had stopped pushing inside you, but kept holding you as you trembled with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

"Baby?" the same voice asked.

"She's out of it," the other said knowingly. "Give her a moment."

"Let's lay her down."

A weak cry spilled from you when Joshua pulled out of you, even if he did it with care, you felt the sudden loss of him inside you. Followed by that Jeonghan pulled out of you. Next thing you knew, your trembling thighs were wet but before you knew it, your limp body was quickly laid on the bed.

"Easy," you heard him whisper soothingly. "Eaasy, baby."

"I got a towel and I already started a bath."

"Thank you," a hand brushed some hairs from your face. "I'm gonna clean you up, bunny."

"Okay," you mumbled, opening your eyes to see Joshua sitting beside you, carefully pressing a wet hand towel on your thighs, cleaning up the cum that had dripped down from you.

"Hi there, baby," Joshua smiled at you. "How are you? Okay?"

"Amazing," you replied with a slurry tone.

"Tsk," you heard Jeonghan click his tongue with amusement before announcing: "Bath is ready, princess."

"Come on," Joshua nodded his head back to the bathroom door. "I'll take you there."

"I can do it," you protested, starting to prop yourself onto your elbows.

"You don't have to," he retorted, already getting on his feet to lift your body from the bed, cradling you on his strong arms to lower you gently into the warm water of the tub.

"Thank you, babe," you mumbled sweetly.

Jeonghan was already in the shower, its glass walls letting you know that he was sending you glances to check up on you.

"Are you hungry, baby? Do you want me to order something?" Joshua asked as he knelt before you. "Waffles? Fries? Strawberry milkshakes?"

The crushing love and adoration you felt for him was beyond anything your languid body could handle at that moment. You smiled and nodded lazily.

"Everything I just said?" his eyebrows pushed up, and his beautiful lips were crowned with a smile, making his dimples above his lips show.

"Can it be chocolate now?"

"Of course, baby," he smiled endearingly at you. "Do you need help?"

"I got it, Josh," you replied. "Thank you."

"Okay," he whispered, giving you one look before he got up, as Jeonghan was stepping out of the shower and was now being occupied by your boyfriend.

"You're okay there, princess?" Jeonghan asked as he patted his face and neck with the towel.

"Yeah. A bit sore but I'm okay," you replied, watching his fully naked body as he wiped the droplets of water sticking onto his skin. You pretended to busy yourself, subbing your soapy hands onto your inner thighs.

Jeonghan sat down on the rim of the tub, at arm's length from you so he only stretched out to boop your nose with the tip of his finger. You looked at him startled for a second.

But he smiled, in fact, a breathy chuckle left him as he saw your face.

"What?" you asked, blinking confusedly at him.

"You're cute," he replied nonchalantly, resuming to wipe himself down.

You said nothing, in fact, you felt like you didn't have the brain capacity to process why you felt so confused at the moment. You simply pulled the drain stopper with your foot, the warm water scurrying down quickly.

"Help me up?" you extended a hand at him.

"Sure you can walk?" Jeonghan smirked, casting a look over his shoulder.

Joshua was coming out of the shower, draping his lower half with a towel as he kept an eye on you. "I'll do it," he offered and bent forward to get you up, lifting you up in his arms again.

Jeonghan got another towel for you, which he extended on the bed as Joshua set down on it neatly.

"You guys make a great team," you noted aloud finally, looking at both men standing before you.

They both exchanged a quick look, Joshua only nodded nonchalantly, Jeonghan smirked at your words. "We know, princess."

After that, Joshua ordered room service for everyone and you all waited with the TV on. You were blissfully dozing on the bed, aloof to anything that happened around you until you were woken up by your boyfriend telling you the food was here.

You ate in silence, barely able to keep your eyes open but the only thing keeping you up and running was your growling stomach.

"It's time for me to go back," Jeonghan announced, rising up to his feet.

The meals were done and you could barely hold your head up from the slumber and tiredness taking over you.

"You stay."

Both men jerked their heads upon hearing you say that, both looked confused, much as if they weren't expecting you say that.

"Please?" you raised your eyes to look at him. "I want you to stay."

"If Joshuji has no issue with it," Jeonghan shrugged, casting a glance at your boyfriend.

"Yeah, no problem," Joshua responded, but his brow was slightly furrowed.

You giddily crawled on the bed, slumping down on the pillows face down. Joshua quickly occupied a place by your side, cupping cheek with one hand to press a loving kiss on your forehead.

"Sure you're okay, baby?" he asked, scanning your face and your body inquisitively.

"I'll be fine, Josh," you rolled your eyes but a small giggle spilled from your lips.

"Mkay," he replied, pressing his lips in a tight smile.

Jeonghan however, slid onto the large bed with some reluctance, occupying your other side. You shifted your body so you could look at him, an arm tucked beneath his head.

He felt your gaze before he could turn and look at you. "What?"

"You owe me a scrunchie."

Jeonghan closed his eyes slowly, a sly smile appearing on his face. "No, I don't," he mumbled. "Go to sleep."

"You first," you replied in the same fashion.

A heavy arm hugged you from behind. Joshua cuddled his body against yours, pressing a kiss on your hair. "Go to sleep, baby," he said, smiling softly on your cheek before littering it with kisses.

Like a work of magic, you were gently swept away by a very heavy slumber.

You felt like hours had passed since you shut your eyes until something pulled you from your dream. You turned in the bed, following the faint sounds of Joshua snoring softly beside you. He was sleeping in an odd position, and you realized the pillow had moved and was about to fall onto the floor.

You reached out for it, carefully placing it beside his head.

"Joshua," you whispered, trying not to wake the other man lying on the other side of the bed beside you. "Babe, use your pillow."

"Mm?" Joshua lazily pushed his eyebrows up, opening his eyes slightly.

"Baby, use your pillow. You were snoring," you smiled softly, feeling something tug in your insides.

He just looked so cute, pouting his lips as he nodded. "'m sorry," he mumbled and placed his head on the pillow before continuing on his deep sleep.

You laid back on the bed and curiously eyed Jeonghan, who had his eyes open and focused on you.

"Did I wake you?" you asked shyly.

"No," he whispered. "I can't sleep," he explained briefly.

"Oh. Same," you sighed a smile, your heart skipping a beat over the sense of familiarity you felt whenever you were reminded that Jeonghan is just a bad sleeper as you are.

There was a restlessness in his gaze as the man that you had come to call a best friend swallowed thickly. A lithe hand came to your face and grazed his knuckles on your cheek.

His touch startled you at first, but you welcomed it, leaning your cheek against his touch.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly.

"'s okay, Jeongjeong," you replied with a small smile. "Are you okay, though? This might have been too much."

"I'm okay, princess," he mumbled with ease, but his gaze remained shifty.

"Sure?" you mouthed, his eyes were on your lips already, so he nodded.

The moment grew quieter, Jeonghan removed his hand from your cheek, licking his lips as he appeared to be considering something inside his head.

"Stay still," he whispered.

You held in a breath, closing your eyes when his face moved closer to yours, and waited.

His lips grazed yours, capturing them ever so slowly, giving you a tender kiss that made a small grunt bubble in his chest.

Your hand cupped his cheek, diving for a deeper kiss, feeling his tongue on yours. His palm pressed against the back of your hand, his fingers encircling it briefly before pulling his head back.

"Did you... like it?" he asked, seeming to be curious as well. "Was it what you wanted?"

"You know I liked it, Jeongjeong," you smiled slowly at him, waiting for his smile.

But no, Jeonghan didn't smile, in fact, he didn't seem to be relaxing.

"Did you?" you asked shyly, your eyes trailing down to his mouth and then his eyes.

"Yeah, I did. I liked it," he mumbled sleepily.

"We should do it again sometime. Us three," you put in quickly and then looked away at the ceiling, feeling ashamed.

"You don't think your boyfriend will say no?" he mused, his voice merely a whisper.

"Why? I mean, I don't think so," you frowned, then added. "It's just sex, right?"

It grew quiet, so quiet that you barely couldn't hear Joshua's deep breathing. Jeonghan's eyes scanned your face again, but the restlessness only grew into something you couldn't quite place. His gaze darkened, and his lips tensed into a line.

"Right?" you asked again, your eyes reading his face, but you couldn't understand what you had said wrong.

Jeonghan sat up in the bed slowly and rose, throwing his hoodie and then putting his sweatpants on, he didn't look back at you.

"Jeonghan?" you called, sitting up in the bed when he crossed the room, walking out the door without saying a word.

You sat there, eyes fixated on the hotel room's door, hesitating on what to do. Your heart was beating frantically against your throat.

"Leave him be," Joshua mumbled sweetly behind you.

"Did you hear all that?" you asked, but didn't need an answer. You knew he did.

"I think Jeongjeong might have a crush on you, baby," he ran a hand on your back, his fingers caressing your bare skin lovingly.

"He doesn't," you brushed off. "He's just..." you stopped short of words.

"It's okay, baby," he whispered. "I don't mind if he does."

"But he's your friend!" you whispered.

"Our friend," he corrected. "So?"

"So, I don't want to hurt him," you mumbled awkwardly.

"Why would you?" he frowned.

"I'm with you, Joshua," you rolled your eyes annoyingly. "I can't be giving him false hope."

"Baby, you don't have to," he smiled, looking fondly at you.

"Are you actually saying what I think you're saying?" you asked dumbfoundedly.

Joshua appeared to be pensive for a second, and shrugged slightly. "I mean, he's been there for you this whole time," his tone was sweet, but cautious. "And you had grown really close, it would make sense that he feels something for you."

You stared at your boyfriend in utter bewilderment, but something more alarming made you think. Did you feel something for Jeonghan?

"I never... we never did anything or said anything," you whispered with a slight frown of confusion.

Joshua's smile reached his eyes. "I know, baby. That's not what I'm saying," he said and sat up in the bed and gently placed a finger under your chin. "Do you feel something for him, baby?"

"No. I don't know," you whispered, feeling your heart deflate painfully in your chest upon uttering those words. "I love you, Joshua."

"I know, that's not what I'm asking," he smiled slightly. "I'm just saying that it's not entirely wrong to have feelings for someone who's been there for you. Even if that someone happens to be my best friend."

Your breath hitched and took his hand that was holding your chin. "Should I go talk to him?" you whispered.

"If you want to," he replied in the same manner. "I think he needs time right now... and you do too."

Your eyebrows knitted, breathing was hard, the pain in your chest becoming worse. "What?"

"I think you feel something for him, baby," he whispered, pressing his fingers on your chin.

"I don't," you muttered, but your eyes had started to water.

"Are you sure?" he asked, frowning slightly. "Baby, I know you. I've seen the way you look at him."

You choked back a sob and immediately denied shaking your head. "I'd never do something like that to you."

"Baby, listen to me," he muttered, his hand cupping your chin tensed slightly, commanding your eyes on him. "I am not judging you. I just need the truth."

Taking a few deep breaths, almost sobbing as your mind spun over the situation. You knew you couldn't deny it to Joshua or to yourself any longer.

"Maybe I do feel something for Jeonghan," you confessed, the realization making your breath hitch.

Nothing could have prepared you for his reaction.

Joshua recoiled, as if he had suddenly been slapped, then blinked rapidly, his big brown eyes dimming a little. You knew his feelings were hurt and you immediately wanted to take it back, to pause your whole life and reevaluate what you were actually saying to him.

"It's okay," he breathed, sushing you when you couldn't contain your tears anymore and started to cry. "It's okay, baby. It is. I understand."

"Wait, please, please," you mumbled, grabbing his arm with one hand as you tried to steady yourself, becoming light headed over the surge of emotions invading you.

"I'm not going anywhere," he muttered, looking at you with a worried look on his face. "Baby, breathe."

You inhaled deeply, your eyes itching because of the tears that kept on coming. "I'm sorry, Joshua."

"What for?" he whispered, his brow furrowing as he gathered your tears with the back of his fingers. "Don't apologize. Not for that."

"But I feel like I'm hurting you and I don't want to do that," you choked back a sob.

Joshua frowned a little, almost as if he were putting his thoughts together, and laid them out for you slowly: "It was me who told him to get closer to you, because I've been away and we both barely talk, I know you would feel lonely and I didn't want that for you."

"But this isn't your fault."

"It's no one's fault," he shook his head slightly. "There's nothing to blame here."

You looked at him, trying to decipher what was going on in his mind. "What are you saying?"

"Jeonghan and I are very similar," he said with an empty smile. "It doesn't seem strange to me that he grew feelings for you. You're fun, smart, beautiful."

Joshua said this with a vague expression on his face, almost as if he were putting the pieces inside his brain, as he himself was realizing how he felt about the situation. "And by that, I also don't find it strange that you have feelings for him," he decided.

You felt the features of your face relax, but the morose and cold feeling seizing your heart didn't go away. "It's entirely platonic," you said shakily.

That made Joshua smile with a glint of fondness in his eyes. "Baby, I know that you love me," he replied with certainty. "And I know that you having feelings for Jeonghan doesn't affect what is ours."

You read his eyes for a second as you were letting the words sink, you nodded slowly. "I love you, Joshua," you whispered, leaning so that your forehead touched his.

"And I love you, bunny."

✮ yet another long author's note: heyoooo THEY DID IT!!!! THEY CROSSED THAT BRIDGE, JOSHUA OVERCAME HIS POSSESSIVENESS (or did he?) 👀👀👀 as you may or may not know my bias is Jeonghan and my wrecker is Joshua (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) so i am doing this purely to satisfy my brain, but i guess that if you want to indulge with me you are more than welcomed to do so OKAY NOW I NEED TO EXPLAIN AGAIN this is the last part belonging to city lights! take this as the finale! AND THIS IS CANON OKAY yes, i'm sorry for those that didn't want a threesome 😭🫠🫠 NOW LET ME EXPLAIN A FEW THINGS. bunny's story doesn't end here. i decided to make a city lights season two! but i'm going to take a break from writing this fic for a short while and focus on my other projects!! so city lights is going on a short break and will be coming back under a different title!! so be on the lookout for that one! 👀 i hope this explains everything AND I DON'T WANNA SEE ANY OF YOU IN THE COMMENTS SAYING THAT CITY LIGHTS IS OVER OR WHATEVER BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE! ᕙ( •̀ᗝ•́)ᕗ sorry i didn't mean to yell at you i love you all! toodles!

buy me a coffee? 🩵👉🏻👈🏻

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[onlyseokmins]

I’ve been thinking a lot about car sex when it’s raining outside with Vernon and an amazing playlist to the beat of a Chase Atlantic song

Ah okay so sorry for the wait on this 😭😭😭😭 I kept bouncing between writing this and other things but hope you enjoy it though! I got a tiny bit carried away sooooo some tw: mentions of cheating (BUT NOT LIKE THAT) daddy kink but jokingly, riding, and unprotected sex ehehehee

9/12 update: [sequel-ish]

🎶 I'm driving too fast in my Lincoln Town car

And I think, I just might flip it over

I've been in a rage and I'm headed your way

With the devil on my fucking shoulders 🎶

Hot, humid gusts that rush across your cheekbones from the open window are sated by the cool air conditioning blowing from the car's vents. It gives your skin a dewy glow under the passing streetlights that shine against the dark grey clouds dulling the faint twinkles of city lights in the distance. Laying your head against the headrest, you close your eyes and suck in a deep inhale.

"Do you wanna stop?"

You peek at the driver's windswept hair and his sharp gaze focused on the highway he's speeding down.  

"Nah. Not until you've driven out all that rage of yours."

He snorts. "You're not scared?"

"And why would I be?" You turn your body to face him. "You'd never hurt me, Hansol."

"Yeah? You believe that?"

"Of course." It's not simply blind trust you place in your best friend. It's utter certainty. "I feel a ton better riding shotgun because I know you won't go over the legal max speed limit and you won't be driving to Areum's house."

"What? Why are we talking about her so suddenly?"

You tsk and pat his thigh consolingly, ignoring how he tenses up.  

"You don't have to pretend with me but just know that the guy she was with tonight, she'll definitely end up cheating on him too." His noncommittal response only encourages you to keep talking. "Dude has nothing on you, by the way. Ugly as hell. Prolly rotten personality too. Trash belongs with trash."

Vernon shoots you a side-eye, another sly glance at what you wore to the club before pivoting his gaze back to the road with a raised eyebrow. 

"You think I'm good-looking," he bluffs with a smirk. All in an effort to try and shake the image of your crossed legs perched up on his dashboard, heels long discarded under the bottom of the seat, and that tiny skirt riding up way past your thighs — haunting visuals that threaten to be engraved into his memory.

"Duh. I've told you that a million times."

"You say things like my outfit looks nice. Not me, specifically."

"Omigod, excuse me? Yes. You're good-looking. Super hot!"

"Fuckable?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "You're in rare form tonight, 'Sol. Do you even need to ask? Jeonghan's girlfriend's friend was practically eye-fucking you the whole time."

"Yeah, but – "

"Take back the confidence that cheater tried to beat out of you. You could've gone home with someone just as hot as you. Meddle about with them and such."

🎶 You got me down on my knees

It's getting harder to breathe out

We only met each other just the other day

But you already got me feeling some type of way

Now if I could figure it out

I'd take you back to my house

So we could meddle about 🎶

"Is that what you were going to do with that bastard?"

"Who? Which one?"  

"The last one you were dancing with." Vernon scowls when you giggle. 

"I danced with several, silly. Hm, oh! The one you called me away from? Didn't get his name, you know him?"

The memory of a stranger's grubby hands daring to trace your exposed skin as you swayed to the techno beat had his knuckles turning white from how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. "No."

"Ah," you sigh in disappointment, "but I would've liked to get to know him."

"So, you would've actually gone with him. What if he was a serial killer or something?"

"I can take care of myself, Vernon."

The sharp change in your tone has him flinching, a name he usually goes by suddenly unfamiliar when it comes out of your lips. He knows how independent and strong you are. It's what makes you sparkle and shine apart from others, what draws everyone to you. But that doesn't mean he shouldn't worry about you. The yearning for you to lean on him every so often is strong — especially when it feels that he's the one always relying on you.

🎶 I'm too phased, it's too late

But coming down is all I ever do, babe, yeah

And I'm so down if you're ready, and I'm floating but I'm heavy

And I'll show you if you let me, girl 🎶

"I… I know that — " 

Vernon is cut off when tiny rain droplets starting to dot the window abruptly turn into a deluge of water he can barely see through. Cursing under his breath, he slows down and takes the next approaching exit, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye again. You're calm but quiet, rolling up the window before crossing your arms. Knowing he'll keep you safe as always. Even if you’re a little pissed off at him right now.

He waits until he's pulled into an old shopping parking lot to speak again. The rain hits the roof of the car at a steady pace, almost drowning out the Chase Atlantic song playing on the radio. Unbuckling the seatbelt, he shifts in his seat to gaze at you although you avoid at looking him for the first time in a while.

"You really do trust in me, huh?" He acknowledges and you roll your eyes.

"Didn't I say I did? But that doesn't mean you have to act like you're my dad when it comes to who I flirt with. I always tell someone when I'm leaving and who I'm going with." 

Vernon is aware of that, the 'someone' usually being him as he watches you slip your hand in some random guy's for the night. Leaving him behind without a second glance, a brilliant smile on your pretty lips.

"Besides," you continue, "instead of worrying about me, have a little fun yourself. It's what you deserve after that shitty breakup. It just sucks she somehow shows up at every place we're at."

"I'm not trying to be your dad. But… I could be your daddy."

"What?" Lightning strikes but it's not from outside. Your eyes flash with something when you whip your head to face him in shock. "What did you just say?"

🎶 Push a little further on the edge

Crawl a little further on the bed, babe

I'm burning up, yeah, all I see is red

She said, "Fuck me like I'm famous", I said, "Okay" 🎶

He clears his throat, fidgeting in his seat. "I'm not saying I'm into that o-or that you have to be, I'm just — Fuck." He meets your electrifying gaze with his smoldering one as his voice lowers. "Don't you know how much I want you?"

"Vern — "

"Hansol," he corrects, "love it when you call me that. Only you." 

The name he rarely goes by anymore never sounded better falling breathlessly out of your lips when he leans across the console. It's not a challenge, it's a suggestion — one you accept by pressing your lips against his.

It's something both of you have dreamed of for so long. Never the right time or place. But here, underneath the stormy night sky in his black Volkswagen Jetta, Vernon tastes like stardust and the Twix bars he's always stealing from your cupboard.

You're not sure when you ended up in his lap but you can't complain as you run your fingers through the waves of his hair. Pressed up against him in such a tight space. The flurry of emotions has goosebumps raising on your skin and he pulls away, panting harshly. Your foreheads are touching as you gaze at each other.

"I can't believe you want me," he almost laughs in disbelief. "Is this real or am I dreaming?"

"Of course, you're not dreaming. I do want you. Always have. None of your partners ever treated you right." You roll your hips as a test and Vernon's low moan of your name only amplifies your confidence. "How could they when they weren't me?"

He slides his seat back, the sudden motion causing you to slam a hand against the window to try to steady yourself and avoid throwing your weight against him. But that's exactly what Vernon wants. Using the momentum to cup the round cheeks of your ass, he positions you right where the tip of his hard cock pokes against his jeans. You can feel him through the scrap of fabric that's a sorry excuse for panties, already ruined.

"You're so wet, baby," he murmurs against your lips. "All for me, yeah? No one else, no other guy could soak your pussy like me, right?"

Even if it was a lie (which it wasn't), you can only agree because Vernon doesn't move an inch until a resounding yes leaves your lips. It's another scrambled blur as you fight to unclasp his belt and jeans in the small space you have. It feels intimate and raw.

Just like your love for him.

You let out a relieved sigh when his cock is in your hand and Vernon echoes it, throwing his head back. You'd moved down a bit so you could jerk him off easier, giggling at how he twitches when he feels the heat of your pulsating cunt leaking all over his thigh.

"Wish I could suck you off, Nonnie," you whisper in his ear and he groans. "Feel the weight of your heavy dick against my tongue, lap you up like my favorite lollipop. Mhm, bet you taste so good. Your other partners were afraid to take you down their throat 'cause you're so deliciously big. But I wouldn't be." Your other hand gently strokes his cheek. "'Cause you'd never hurt me. Ever. Isn't that right, my sweet boy?"

Vernon's eyes snap back open, grasping at your wrist. "Yeah, I'd be so good to you, baby. But I need to be inside of this dripping pussy." A finger tentatively pushes your panties to the side. "Fuck, like right now."

🎶 I don't know if you already know how

But girl, I got the feeling that you know now

You're buried in the pillow, yeah you're so loud

But I'm about to show you, baby, slow down 🎶

This time, Vernon lets his head fall forehead and softly bumps your forehead with his as you attempt to sink down. He keeps his fingers splayed across both of your hips, bunching up the fabric of your short skirt so he can watch the way your puffy pussy lips part and wrap around the tip of his thick, hard cock.

Muttering obscene filth in your ear (“this skirt was just asking me to bend you over and slip inside all night”, “claim you as mine right in front of all of them”, “that’s what you wanted, isn’t that right, sweetheart?”) that simply makes you clamp nearly impossibly tighter around him.

Once your ass is seated against his thighs, thick length fully nestled within your warm walls, you think you hear someone screaming — and it must be you. Biting down hard on Vernon’s collarbone, your hips have a mind of their own and instantly begin sliding up and down until you’re bouncing so hard and fast enough that his car might be shaking.

Vernon’s eyes are fixed in awe at where he’s disappearing into you. His head is spinning, and he hurriedly pushes up your crop top, letting your tits fall free. Perfectly positioned in front of his face. 

“Sl-slow down, b-baby,” he gasps out, hand shooting out to cradle the back of your head before it hits the steering wheel or something.

You’re the prime visual of fucked-out and dick-drunk. Tears cause your mascara to run, tongue hanging out as you desperately moan, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as your hips fail to falter. Vernon thinks you’ve never looked more beautiful — and feels just as dizzy as you do — but he seeks to find an anchoring.

“L-love, slow down,” he fights to still your hips and your pitiful whines cause him to pepper little kisses on your neck and breasts. He can feel your erratic heartbeat sync with his as he shushes and soothes you. “Wanna savor this moment.”

“Hansolie… we can go for hours later after this. Even for weeks, maybe.”

It’s Vernon’s turn for his hips to buck up uncontrollably at the way you cutely pout his name along with the suggestion of “more later” while his cock is stuffed deep within you.

“Easy for you to say, I’m not sure my recovery time is as fast as yours, though.”

“Yeah? I’m sure I can fix that.”

He angles a particularly harsh thrust at your words. One that has you falling back against his chest so he can rasp in your ear. “Is that a promise?”

“Mhm, yeah…” you moan but the next, teasing comment that comes out of your mouth makes him realize that maybe he should just let you be fucked senseless. “Whatever daddy wants.”

“You’re such a sweet lil brat. Gonna let me eat this delicious lil pussy of yours in the backseat? Or should I drive home with my cum seeping out of it and clean you up on my bed instead? Hm? Say it.”

“Yes, daddy.”

“No, say my name.”

“Mhm, yes, Hansol…”

His name melts away into a loud moan before you’re slamming your lips against his so he can swallow up the scream that threatens to erupt as you hit your peak. Shuddering, you swear you can see stars even though the sunroof is closed, it’s nighttime, and it’s raining. You tremble in his arms, whimpering as he spills his own release deep within your walls — suddenly feeling sated and sleepy.

“Don’t wanna move.”

“Me either,” Vernon chuckles and kisses the top of your head. “Why don’t we just lay here for a bit?” He rubs tiny circles across your bare skin as you breathe in his comforting scent. “We’ll go home after it clears up a bit more.”

“I love you.” You snuggle against his neck. “I’ve always loved you.”

“Yeah? I love you too… always have.” He nudges you up so you can look into his honest, straightforward gaze. One that would never hurt you. “And I always will.”

[multi-kpop-fanfics]

ot13 reaction to you using your safeword ??

Seungcheol: Dad mode instantly activated, he'd stop everything right there and then, prioritising your safety, whispering that he's right here, his arms around you, stroking your back and petting your hair soothingly.

Jeonghan: Deadass worried. He’s trying to calm you down and secretly himself, because he hates seeing you in discomfort due to him losing control and he’s telling you that you’re safe and okay

Joshua: He'd react similarly to Seungcheol, but he'd definitely panic inside. He'd never show it though, because he wants to make you feel comfortable again. He'd also ask you if you wanted some water, but you just want to be in his arms again :(

Junhui: He'd stop whatever he is doing and search for your eyes, hoping he wouldn't find fear and as soon as he manages to calm you down, he mutters a soft 'sorry' against your skin, cuddling you to sleep.

Soonyoung: He'd be in a state of panic and he’d pull out of you in the blink of an eye, calling you his baby and touching his forehead to yours, looking straight into your eyes, murmuring how sorry he is for making you uncomfy

Wonwoo: written here

Jihoon: He'd be calm enough to control the situation, yet extremely guilty for pushing your limits that hard. He’d apologize to you and he’d try to start small talk, in an attempt to make you relax and feel comfortable again

Seokmin: He’s on the verge of tears, bcs he thinks he hurt you physically and emotionally and his voice would be reduced to a whisper, searching for any reaction from you, hoping you’re okay - which you are and it lifts a bit of the guilt off his heart

Mingyu: Goes soft and sad within miliseconds and his arms are already wrapping around you, pressing kisses on your shoulder, whimpering ‘sorry’ as he pets your hair soothingly, his other hand rubbing circles on your skin

Minghao: He’d have a similar reaction to Jihoon, but he’d be more affectionate, holding your hands in his and playing with your fingers to help you relax once more

Seungkwan: His breath would hitch in his throat, and he'd call your name repeatedly to get your attention and he'd only calm down after you've reassured him that you're okay and he'd kiss your cheeks, apologizing for going hard on you

Vernon: He would be completely clueless and scared at the same time bcs you have never said your safeword before. He’d react in a similar way to Seungkwan, but he’d remain silent out of guilt and you’d have to reassure him that you’re fine

Chan: Poor boy would panic so hard and his eyes would be blown wide in horror, immediately pulling out of you and holding you in his arms, trying to hold back his tears from guilt ;-;

[wonlouvre]

more for forever | k. mg.

pairing: editor-in-chief mingyu x female reader genre: fluff, a little bit of angst, cliché (in the sense that mingyu is rich and likes to spoil his girlfriend) warnings: mentions of insecurity, food word count: 2.8k

💌: this is just pure indulgence and i really hope you all like this! please wait for wonwoo because i have something in store for him too ;) again, this is cliché please forgive me. please tell me what you think about it hehe i love reading your comments, feedbacks and tags! also a big thank you to @minkwans​ for sharing their ideas and giving this oneshot life! <3

The name Kim Mingyu didn’t ring a bell before. Not until his executive assistant reached out to you because apparently, the photographer slash writer read one of your blog posts and wanted you to take part for their sixth year anniversary issue. You know the famous magazine and publishing company, which is why you thought it was a scam or a ploy to steal your money. It’s a stupid assumption but you can’t blame your mind imagining the worse because you are not a fashion blogger at all. Why would a fashion magazine want you to write an article for them?

Sure, you regularly write and post blog entries on your website. But you write about your dog, your recently bought tea coaster and sometimes your skincare routine. Okay, maybe your occasional outfit of the day as well but nothing in detail. Again, why do they want you to write for them?

Kim Mingyu answered your questions and uncertainties when he personally emailed his contact details to you. You didn’t have to bite, but it didn’t hurt to confirm at the same time. You dialed the number and he indeed proved you wrong. He invited you for a meeting at his office and you accepted. 

Your visits to high-rise buildings, much more to the luxurious office of an executive, is rare to never. You were jaw slacked when your eyes took in the crisp architecture. The design, the furniture, the color, the everything was beyond what you could have imagined a publishing company’s headquarters could be. 

The meeting was nothing but short of an interview. He asked about your blog (which does not even have its own domain by the way), he asked what else you write about, he asked about your desk job (which doesn’t pay much but enough for you to get by), he asked if you have any background about fashion and one last question about your dog, Max, before talking about his proposal. 

To be honest, Mingyu’s offer was tempting. For one article, the commission would be enough for you to move out of your current apartment and move to a brand new and fully-furnished one. But you remained true to yourself and without thinking twice, you declined. 

You can tell that the editor-in-chief and his assistant, who stood beside him all throughout, was surprised by the looks on their faces. But Mingyu respected your decision and didn’t pursue any further. You took your stand from the chair and sincerely thanked him for the time and opportunity. You thought that would be it but when he followed suit with your actions and reached his hand out, it was your turn to be surprised. 

You didn’t hesitate to mirror him and shake his hand, firmly. After that, you’d figure that it’s the end and that you’ll probably get to see a glimpse of him only through your television or phone. But Mingyu proved you wrong once again when he sent an unexpected email three days later asking why.

What might be the reason why you didn’t accept his offer? 

You believed he deserved an explanation of your personal reasons so you disclosed them. And just like that the conversation on that email thread naturally progressed and eventually deepened. The professional emails became casual text messages, the text messages became phone calls, and the phone calls became actual face to face dates at late hours of the evening because he usually clocks out at 9 o’clock. 

The rest, as they say, was in the hands of history. 

Your first date with Mingyu was particularly odd. It was at a traditional Korean restaurant owned by one of his friends who introduced himself as Angel even though his real name is Jeonghan. You didn’t question him or anyone else why because that’s none of your business. But back to the date. It was odd because you have never been to a restaurant that’s completely empty and dead silent before (aside of course, from the typical music played in the background). You asked Mingyu if such an occurrence is normal and he just plainly answered that he rented the whole place all to yourselves. You have always known he’s rich. However, you didn’t believe that booking the whole restaurant was necessary.  

Nonetheless, that first date, in some way, was special for you because there were no distractions. You enjoyed his company and you can tell he enjoyed yours too because he’s quick to mention a second date and it didn’t take a heartbeat for you to say yes. 

But, by far, Mingyu inviting you to the behind the scenes of the making of the sixth anniversary issue that you turned down writing for is one of the most memorable dates the two of you had. It was out of the blue and you two were having difficulty in syncing your schedules. He was beginning to get busier and busier as the anniversary neared and the only way he could think of still making time for you is inviting you to his office. He called you and asked if you’re free to have lunch together. And you, being attracted to the handsome and tall man, didn’t hesitate to say yes. 

He was in the middle of ending his morning meeting when you arrived and you were almost caught off-guard when all eyes were suddenly on you, making you feel small. But Mingyu didn't care as his smile beamed, immediately standing up from his chair to walk towards you. The rest of his staff were still in the midst of walking out of his office when he grasped your hand to pull you inside and you have never felt so shy your whole life.

Since then, he made you tag along to the creative process and you witnessed how hands on he was with every article, every photo, every brand, every trend and every detail that goes to the magazine that he has built and loved with his blood, sweat and tears. He’s beyond dedicated in finding and doing what’s best for the magazine and most importantly, its loyal readers. 

You can tell that he really is deserving of everything that he has and is still receiving.

Mingyu being perfect also applies to your relationship. He’s always present despite being booked with fittings, meetings, photoshoots and business travels twenty-nine days of the month. He never fails to call, never fails to answer your calls. He never fails to offer the warmest hugs and the softest kisses. Well, he fails to be on time during your dates sometimes but he never once stood you up and his cuddles when he sleeps over are enough to apologize for the lost time.

The only flaw he has is that he doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. Most especially at times where he wants to shower his love in ways that cost more than your paycheck in a year.

Here are some examples:

You know that Mingyu pays attention to every word you say. Even if you just mentioned a passing topic, he will do his best to keep those in mind. With that being said, you mentioned once that you want to renovate the extra bedroom of your apartment and turn it into a study where you could work someday. Your boyfriend, being the rich man he is, offered to hire and pay a team that could help you bring the design you envisioned into life. 

That was during the first few months of your relationship and you were flabbergasted by how easy it was for him to do or much less say. Needless to say, you immediately turned him down and he respected that (but of course, he pouted about it like a child all throughout the day). 

But wait, there’s more. 

Do you remember how you mentioned that Mingyu travels frequently? Yes? Well, Mingyu always books an extra ticket for you just in case you want to join him. Sometimes it’s not even about the flight ticket anymore. It’s about him stopping by your apartment to pick you up unexpectedly as if France is only a drive away. 

It’s unbelievable, really. That’s why you always close the door on his face. But of course, you don’t forget to give him a long kiss and “stay safe” or “I’ll miss you” farewell. Mingyu, ever the good boy he is, lets you win and just return your kisses a little longer for the days he won’t be able to do so. 

Mingyu’s intentions are pure and you’re well aware that the man that you love is only doing this because it’s simple, he loves you. He wants what’s best for you, he wants to give you what you deserve. You can never blame him for being out of touch from reality at times, but you can learn and grow with him. Although of course, he still needs a scolding and a wake up call every now and then. 

Anything else? Yes.

You didn’t take into consideration that he’d remember, but one night while the two of you were about to fall asleep, you sleepily mumbled about your dreams of attending graduate school. It was a mere whisper in the late night against his chest and you even thought that he wouldn’t hear you at all because his eyes were already closed. You honestly didn’t expect that he’d send you brochures of different universities who offer various programs the following day. You had to calm him down as he excitedly talked you through it. You even had to shut him up with your lips and explain that you don’t have the time to study at the moment with your current job. He tried to encourage you with praises and admiration of your dedication, skills and knowledge. But no, you didn’t buy it and that’s the end of discussion. 

The gifts, however, are something that Mingyu is not giving up on. The first few instances he gave you gifts whether it be a high-end handbag, shoes, clothing, and even jewelry, you allowed him. Because there were only a few. But along the way, the gifts got bigger and more frequent. You had to sit him down to set limitations. It was a long conversation of him trying to get the upper hand. But you didn’t let him outsmart you with his hugs and kisses. It was either he was going to tone it down with the gifts or no gifts at all. 

Sometimes, as much as you hate to admit it to yourself, you can’t avoid getting insecure and afraid that the euphoric time you share with Mingyu is not meant to last. At some point, the fact that he's one of the youngest successful editor-in-chiefs of a multi-million earning magazine got overwhelming. You can’t help but feel that you’re no match for him. And again, you hate that your mind gets clouded with ideas that you’re just a charity case he enjoys spending his money on. Of course, you believe that he doesn’t look at you in that way.

It’s you who thinks so. 

“Hey.”

You release the bite on your bottom lip at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. Your lost eyes shoot to the stove where he’s cooking and you notice that he’s about done so you should set the table. 

You didn’t even answer Mingyu’s call which concerns him. He wipes the sauce off his hands on the apron he’s wearing and holds your waist before you could even round the corner to the cabinets. 

His warmth snaps you out of your thoughts. Your eyes blink up to him and he just raises his eyebrows at you. 

“Is there something wrong?” He asks and lowers the heat of the conduction. 

“Nothing, nothing,” you lie, shaking your head, “Let me get the plates. I’m quite hungry.”

You try escaping his strong arms and gaze, but he doesn’t let you go. Instead, he wraps his arms around your waist tighter. Your palms automatically land on his chest and the lean muscles make you gulp. 

“I’m going to ask again and this time, I want you to tell me the truth,” he says in a serious yet gentle tone. “What’s wrong?”

You sigh and lean your forehead against his chest. Mingyu also sighs and kisses the top of your head. It’s better to tell him now because you’re not going to get anywhere if you’re just going to keep it to yourself. It will be unfair for him too and that’s not what you want. 

“I just don’t feel so good about myself over the past few days,” you finally voice out. You sound weak, but Mingyu can hear you loud and clear. “I feel like I don’t deserve you.”

Mingyu had to pull away and hold your shoulders to search your eyes, his frown showing disbelief and sadness both at the same time. “Did I do or say something to make you feel this way?”

“No, no,” you quickly say and hold his cheeks. “You did absolutely nothing. It’s just all in my head.”

Mingyu becomes silent and you wish you could just drop it because the regret and embarrassment is slowly dawning upon you. You wish you didn’t bring it up anymore because why would you burden him with your problems? 

But Mingyu proves you wrong once again by holding your hand and carefully tugging you to sit on the dining table, saying softly, “Come on. Let’s talk about it.”

And talk you did. You let out your concerns, worries, fears and insecurities. You bore it all without hiding or masking anything. A tear or two slipped once or twice and some words were interrupted by your hiccups, but Mingyu was patient. He listened and held your hand, promising you that it’s okay. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be worried. It’s okay to be vulnerable in front of him. It’s okay to trust him because he loves you. 

Mingyu loves you and his words and actions assure you that it’s okay to love him too. 

When there were no more words left to say, the two of you shared a comfortable silence. The weight on your shoulders and the sick feeling in your stomach immediately vanished and you have never felt so relieved. You have never felt so free and loved. You can’t believe that Kim Mingyu is real. 

“I know that this is unwarranted,” Mingyu breaks the silence after a while, “but I want you to know that I don’t think of you in any of those ways. To me, you’re the person I love and I am happy with regardless of our different upbringings, different jobs. Those don’t matter to the time and love we share together.”

“I know,” you affirm and kiss his cheek. 

Mingyu nods and smiles against the palm of your hand when a memory suddenly pops in his mind. “I’m not sure if I have told you this already. But the blog entry of yours that caught my attention is about your first ever blog post.”

Your eyes widen at his confession. You have never heard of this before. “You mean the one where I talked about why I love writing so much?”

Your boyfriend smiles and nods. “That one.”

“Gosh. That’s so embarrassing,” you groan and palm your face. 

“What do you mean embarrassing?” He argues, taking your hand to hold again. “That post was one of the most genuine posts that I have ever read. You explained, word by word, your passion, love and dedication to writing in the most honest way possible. Who wouldn’t be moved?”

You pout and unbeknownst to you, that makes his heart squeeze in adoration. 

“It’s not that special,” you mumble, eyes on your intertwined hands. 

“It is to me though.”

Mingyu’s eyes are dreamy and glossy as you meet them again and you could never be more in love. He holds your arms, coaxing you to stand up to straddle his lap. You giggle when he protectively wraps his arms around your waist. His nose scrunches when it grazes yours, but upon meeting his lips you feel it exhale a breath of relief.

You kissed and kissed and kissed. But when Max barks at the two of you, reminding you of the dinner you’re supposed to eat and share with him, the two of you burst into laughter before reluctantly detaching from each other. 

“You doting over me with material things is a perk,” you humor him and he gives you his signature giggle. “But, I wouldn’t trade sharing the same bed, cooking meals or taking care of Max together over any of those.” 

Mingyu nods gives you one last yet long kiss, a promise that there’s more for later. 

More for forever. 

---

a/n 2: this was supposed to be the header/poster of this story but it was too big lol