#jerkops

[daytripperoverlord]

Y know Chris Chan was fucked in many ways but the whole early anti police jerkop thing was really quite based

[aishu-no-melody]

Jerkops

[blogcancercero]

Noto una “mancha blanca” en la esquina inferior-derecha de esta página. Quizás iba a estar aquí el número de la página, y luego Chris cambio de idea. Simonla: ¡No pierdas el tiempo recuperándote, todavía vienen! Wild: Sí… vienen más. Nota: Rayo Señal Golpear las cabezas de 2 docenas de Jerkops realmente agotó a Wild, por lo que se toma unos segundos para respirar, pero los Jerkops vienen en…

[z0nic]

Tom Wachowski is a jerkop that may evolve into a jerkhief one day.

wya5t/ huh

[gritsandbrits]

Tom Wachowski was a Jerkop, that was probably going to evolve into a jerkhief in time. Who knows. Maybe his ancestor was the one who killed Maria. 50 years ago. In the third movie, Tom's gonna try shoot Shadow or something!

This what you sound like anon

[8biteric]

NO JERKOPS ALLOWED! - Chris Chan Appreciation Stream

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 87

Caption: One…

CERAH: Love!!!

Caption: Two…

CERAH: Not…!

Caption: Thunderpunch!

CERAH: …Hatred!

Caption: Paralyzed

DOGSON: Pant pant

DOGSON: For my love!

FERRAH: Uh… I think I left five bucks in my locker.

FERRAH: Later!

ROBBIE: Cera! That was amazing!

CERAH: I was just protecting my friends and family, baby bro.

ROBBIE: Still, you reacted more quick than I could. I love you, sis!

CERAH: I love you too!

Caption: Whoosh!

ROBBIE: Oh! My gosh!

CERAH: Ca ‘mon! Let me go!

The jerkop goes down in three easy panels, with Cerah using the Pokemon move Thunder Punch on him. Little Dogson, who apparently harbors some sort of feelings for Ferrah, also gives him a good kick. Ferrah bails, then Cerah and Robbie hug, but then Cerah, assumedly having gained enough experience points from taking down the jerkop to have leveled up, begins to evolve into a Rosechu.

Cerah commands Robbie to let her go, even though he clearly released her the second she flashed white.

[smoqueen]

i dont want to talk about chrischan at length, everything has already been said, but ‘jerkops’ and ‘manajerks’ are still good

[whisperingrockandroll]

Can Sonichu and Raz stop those nasty Jerkops? Will the evil Dr. Scrotcum and his army of sem-o-bots take over Cwcville? Will my penis survive the viral infection I caught in Brazil? If seen in bathroom with mirror will bathroom man handwash again he tells me to again? I am a flyover cow, mooooo. Random Access Humor! Nyuck nyuck nyuck! TED BUNDY WAS AN INNOCENT MAN

Yeah, I don’t fucking get it either. I’m trying to overcome a bad case of creative burnout after the last major arc of the comic ended and I didn’t want to let April Fool’s go by without a joke strip, as is the tradition. I hope the fact that our special guest has yellow arms doesn’t drive you into a blind rage and cause you to mace a Gamestop employee.

Have a fun April Fools, everyone. I’m gonna set down and take an aspirin because the strain of writing this crap makes me terrified that I’m actually channeling the spirit of Chris Chan.

[doctorbleed]

One thing you might not know about me is that I am a HUGE Sonichu nerd. Completely OBSESSED with Sonichu. It started out ironic but you can hardly call it that anymore. I cobbled these designs together for fun and I still have no idea what I’m going to do with them.

The Jerkops are easily some of my favorite evil henchmen ever. The concept of an evil, inverted police force who are basically just disgruntled mall cops is extremely fun. It’s an idea that can only be done tongue-in-cheek and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

[blogcancercero]

Sonichu 10: Página 78

Tenemos a Chris protegido por un par de policías con un aura a Jerkop que flipas. Lo que tiene pasarte 11 Volúmenes mostrando como basura a las autoridades. Por cierto, no son Grant ni Pérez. De hecho, Pérez llegará más tarde para investigar el asesinato de Simonla. Nota: Más tarde, en el centro comercial CWCville… CWC: Gracias a todos por asistir; Tengo algunos anuncios que hacer. Para…

[gritsandbrits]

Tom Wachowski was a Jerkop. He shot sonic with a tranquilizer gun even though sonic had his paws up and was unarmed.

Chris Chan is that u?

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 85

SFX: Bonk

ROBBIE: Ow!

CERAH: Little bro, are you okay?

ROBBIE: Yeah, I think so. Oh. Not big Ferrah again.

CERAH: That bully?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

Caption? Sonichu?: Long story short, this bully has:

-No parents

-Lives with drunk uncle

-Hates on those he’s jealous of

-Does not really know how to speak love yet.

FERRAH: Look at the yellow rat scorin’ with the hot babes. And with her thick-headed Triceratops too. Give me your lunches, or I’ll pound all of ya!

CERAH OR ROBBIE: No!

CERAH OR ROBBIE: What a brute.

CERAH OR ROBBIE: We’re not gonna take your ‘tude.

CERAH OR ROBBIE: Love, not hate!

CERAH OR ROBBIE: Back off, bull!

FERRAH: Alright! Alright! What about you, tripping tea?

FERRAH: Ya gonna cough up your grub? Or maybe miss me with your weak zap? Ooh! Run away! I’ll catch ya after you trip and fall!

ROBBIE: Neee!

FERRAH: That all ya got, tea-zap? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

FERRAH: Ooh! And what are you gonna do, Triceratops?

ROBBIE: I’m not runnin’ jerk.

CERAH: Leave us alone, Ferrah!

FERRAH: Wowzer! Now it’s two against one? I am soo scared.

CERAH: Keep making fun of us and find out!

FERRAH: I’ve got an idea! I’ll even the odds.

FERRAH: Here’s a cop!

FERRAH: Yo! Mister Police man!

Enter Ferrah (who is a dude, even though I’ve never heard Ferrah or the more common Farrah as a boy’s name). He’s a bully. Something about Ferrah calls to mind Butch The Bully from the similar So Bad It’s Good masterpiece Cool Cat Saves the Kids, though the similarities are likely coinicidental as both characters are simply standard bully stereotypes.

Ferrah has a smidge of depth to him, or at least some nuance - he comes from a broken home and he’s acting out because he’s jealous of Robbie and Cerah being happy. That’s… good? I guess? He does still want lunch money, the stereotypical bully motivation.

Worth noting that Robbie throws the first punch in the sense that he shoots lightning at Ferrah before he gets violent with them. Sure, Ferrah antagonized him, but still.

Cerah is a good big sister, standing up for her baby brother. When she comes into the picture, Ferrah decides to “even the odds” by bringing in a police man. As you can well guess, because he is a police man in Sonichu, things aren’t going to go well.

[annotatedsonichu]

Sonichu #4, page 3 (S-3)

CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: I'd better transform, quickly!

CHRISTIAN WESTON CHANDLER: Electric-hedgehog power!

CAPTION: *Sonichu medallion*

This page is reprinted from Sonichu #0, page 37.  From my notes on this page:

This is some of the worst panel-to-panel storytelling in the series thus far, so I should probably break down what's happening.

Chris glances from side to side and realizes a Jerkop is about to catch him by surprise with handcuffs.  The handcuffs fail to snag him, though, as he quickly moves both his arms out of the way.  He then kicks the Jerkop in the groin, ending that threat.  Almost immediately, Chris has another Jerkop approaching him from behind, but he deftly takes this man out with a blind backhand strike.  Realizing he won't get another chance, he quickly places his hands on his chest and summons the Electric-hedgehog Power through his Sonichu medallion, which begins to glow with an energy that soon envelops his whole body.  His arm is transformed, and then he grows the familiar blue quills and tail of his alter-ego, Chris-chan Sonichu.  The remainder of the transformation is on the next page.

As noted, the use of handcuffs suggests this story represents an incident in which Chandler was really handcuffed in Charlottesville Fashion Square on September 11, 2004.  He has claimed he was arrested but did not have to go to jail, but Chris may have simply been handcuffed by the mall's security team.  It's not clear if actual law enforcement officials were ever truly involved.  We'll probably never know since Chandler makes no distinction between private security and actual police; to him the real police are the ones who never bother him.

In this version of events, no less than three Jerkops (including the Jerkhief) are assembled to apprehend Chris, and he makes short work of two of them.  Presumably nothing like this happened in real life, as he would have been in far worse trouble if he'd struck even a private security guard.  His desire to do this, though, is readily apparent.  Also note Chris's obvious willingness to fight dirty with the cheap low blow in Panel 5.  For all his talk about being a hero who fights for true love and honesty, he understands nothing about honorable combat except that it's all fair unless it's being done to him.

[blogcancercero]

Sonichu 10: Página 74

La calma con la que Chris entra en la guaria de Mary Lee Walsh confirma que no había nadie entre sus esbirros que fuese leal a ella por voluntad propia. Mira que había esbirros que la obedecían por su pasado trágico o por tener un nivel de maldad que destruiría los sensores, pero los jerarcas Jerkops en este punto han caído en el completo olvido. MLW: Entonces… finalmente ha llegado el momento,…