#jm46718

[agemintherough]

Revisiting Chapters Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three, and Twenty-Four of Gems Without Measure; A Pirate’s Treasure

Man, it's been awhile since I have done one of these. I have a lot to talk about with this batch, so let's jump right into it:

2) The gold exchange conversation is practically lifted word for word from canon. It was just too perfect of a Nami moment to change at all. If it isn't broken, don't fix it.

3) Okay, this was one of the hardest things for me to write: Connie and Steven on a date. I have mentioned before that I do not care to write or attempt romance, but this was important for me to do: the last perfect moment before Steven's world goes to hell. Steven and Connie have the potential to be one of the best couples in modern animation right now, but they are twelve and fourteen. I personally do not believe that you cannot have a real relationship that young, but they are definitely more than friends. They are the best of friends...jam buds, if you will.

I wrote all of the Steven/ Connie material first and wrote everything else around it. As I was doing so, I kept sending CyanideOreo what I was working on for feedback, specifically making sure that this fit the characters without getting any form or real kid romance. I was assured that this read more as a "Disney Romance," which is a perfect fit. 

I did, however, draw on the early dates and special moments that I shared with my wife to make it somewhat accurate (in the same way that I used my thoughts about relationships in the previous chapter with Greg). Walking around through the nearby historic village has always been a wonderful time for us, especially when they have art fairs or other activities.

4) I am sure most of you have seen this great artwork based on this moment made by @cyanideoreo, but did you pick up the significance of what Steven and Connie were eating? Raspberry ice and cake was the order Mary Poppins placed at the Penguin Cafe in the sidewalk chalk drawing world (in addition to some tea) during the song "Jolly Holiday." This, of course, is subtle foreshadowing of where this date is going to go by the end of this chapter.

5) The only comment I am going to make about the newspaper article (which has been a small, rarely mentioned subplot since the end of the Davy Back Fight is that it is important and that there is a major clue about what is going to happen in the somewhat near future.

6) A coworker of mine had students create masks for a project of “The Masque of the Red Death.” They have been hanging up in her room all year. While there are quite a few interesting designs, my favorite was the mask that was a pack of cards, glued together and fanned out with eye holes cut into it. I put it in the story as one of the masks seen in the "mask game."

7) Kaku calling the Straw Hats "youngsters" was my way of getting the gag where he has an older voice than the characters expected without it being random. 

8) Eirney is a character that jmr46718 and I developed in our discussions about the story over a year ago. We thought that Kalifa could benefit from having a sister, especially since she doesn't do much in-universe except follow her job description...

However, Iceburg's reactions to having no idea who she was is supposed to lampshade that this is one of the only original characters in this story. 

9) Steven and Connie, of course, sing "Jolly Holiday" from Mary Poppins. The only thing worth mentioning is I changed one part of the lyrics. I removed "You'd never think of pressing your advantage. Forbearance is the hallmark of your creed" with "You always treat me right with proper kindness. You're goofy, funny, charming; yes, indeed." I did this because this date is too innocent for any kind of "advantage" that could be overtaken.

Also, I couldn't NOT make the AGITR connection.

10) As several people guessed, the events of “Steven Floats” happen earlier than expected! Of course, nobody expected it to be because of a tiny kiss! I honestly imagined this scene to be like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer's reindeer games sequence where Clarice kisses Rudolph and he flies while yelling "She thinks I'm cute!"

11) Steven is witnessing the scene from next chapter where the Gems and Nami come across a battered Usopp.

12) When I first posted this chapter, I messed it up and forgot that Steven's fall correlated to his negative emotions and went straight to him needing to stop by using his positive thoughts of the Gems (but not Rose).

13) Oh look! Two new characters! Nero is...well, there is a character in One Piece named Nero! I wonder if they are the same character? The other one, Apollo, is a mink, which was only introduced properly in One Piece two years ago. I am sure that they served their purpose after catching Steven. Boy, wasn't it nice that they pointed the kids in the right direction after seeing Steven's gem?

14) I wonder why Eirney is so interested in what a Gem is. Maybe she likes gemology? 

15) Remember that Amethyst is wearing a redesigned dress that I created for her back in AGITR. As such, she is better concealed than the canon outfit she would be wearing at this point. One of the first things that was decided was to have Paulie wish that the other characters would stop being so shameless and be more like Amethyst, who would pick up on that immediately and use it for laughs. This is the beginning of this gag.

16) Picking right up from Chapter Twenty-One, Peridot is leading the charge to figure out where Robin disappeared to. We are knee-deep in Peridot's story arc of figuring out who she is and where she belongs. Keep an eye on her throughout this section: she may yet have an important role to play.

17) Again, a lot of setup from this chapter is taken from canon. It is necessary to keep the emotional integrity from this section. However, the key new addition to this scenario is Amethyst. This is basically an extension of her character development that began in "Tiger Millionaire" and "Maximum Capacity" that did not conclude until "That Will Be All."  She is feeling a major lack of self-respect and now sees Usopp as a kindred spirit. It honestly wasn't something I had planned initially, but it made a lot of sense and tied into the plot in an organic way that builds upon what came before and what will happen moving forward. 

18) This is the first legitimate acknowledgement of the radically different levels of violence that both shows possess and I think it's important to acknowledge it. Obviously it makes people like Greg and Pearl uncomfortable, but that doesn't change the people. Luffy is an amazing guy, but he isn't afraid to beat the crap out of you if push comes to shove. Amethyst recognizes that and accepts it far easier than Pearl, who is still struggling with the radically different dimension (but not for lack of trying, as we all know change is HARD for Pearl).

19) Speaking of, I thought the point of giving Greg a Devil Fruit was to make him useful, not to just sit around and do nothing! What gives?

20) Since the first strike in the Franky House isn't necessarily considered a quintessential Luffy moment like, say, the storming of Arlong Park, and more of a Straw Hat moment, I felt comfortable with letting Pearl give the first strike. 

21) Peridot beating the guy (who was already down since she did not engage in combat at all) is deliberately my Batman Begins "SWEAR TO ME!" moment. I initially had her say just that, but it took me out and made it too blatant. That being said, Peridot trying to be as intimidating as Batman is hilarious.

22) I debated on having Chapter Twenty-Three end with Usopp's declaration for the duel, but I felt it made Chapter Twenty-Four stronger by leading us to that through the loss of Steven's innocence as his perfect day gets shattered at the last moment. This is why Steven does not appear outside of the small mention of him floating.

23) Dramatic Irony is such a great literary device. Literally every scene with Steven and Connie is deliberately the happiest thing in the world solely because it has to end in tragedy.

24) The masks were designed by CyanideOreo two chapters ago. That's what I call great collaboration! 

26) The beat that Connie and Steven are marching to is "Colonel Hathi's March" from The Jungle Book. 

27) I debated about Stevonnie appear in the first part of the date, but I decided that their appearance was the perfect final moment for the innocence of the kids to remain intact.

28) Peridot discussing objectivity is important as she truly believes in it, as shown in “Message Received.”

29) The whole emotional/ color power was first glimpsed back in Chapter Twelve when Steven found Noko. I wonder what that could be?

30) jmr46718 was the one to come up with the idea to have Steven have his own duel with the Gems which is the culmination of all of Pearl's attitude problems. Originally, Amethyst would have been involved too, but I decided to make her decidedly empathetic to Usopp, so I limited it to Garnet and Pearl.

31) Steven has quit the Crystal Gems! I wonder what the new status quo is going to be now?